Another Player In The Game
by Umei no Mai
Summary: During the war against Iwa Namikaze Minato nearly died in an ambush, his survival leaving him with a debt on his soul. Years later, Uzumaki Naruto meets a maiko who takes him in and raises him as her own. From such innocent beginnings are mighty changes wrought...
1. Minato: Encounter

**Minato: Encounter**

Minato groaned as he surveyed his surroundings, one hand clutching his abdomen to protect his exposed intestines, the other arm hanging limply from a dislocated shoulder. _Twelve dead Iwa-nin, check. No other survivors... check. _He swayed dizzily, body protesting at the abuse his probing search heaped upon already depleted reserves. _Mission accomplished. Now I just need to make it back to the boarder._ Turning towards the aforementioned and currently contested boarder between Tsuchi no kuni and Taki no kuni, Minato tried to persuade his feet to move. _Ow, my head. Concussion? Stupid solo mission, and what does that make me for accepting it..?_

"Minato-chan?"

_Huh?_

"Minato-chan, you are injured!" Something tugged at the lower edge of his journin vest. Minato looked down.

There was a child standing right next to him. Probably a girl if the neat brown bob was anything to go by. About seven years old judging by height. Minato was absolutely _positive_ she hadn't been there a moment ago. _Genjutsu?_ He instinctively tried to form the necessary handsign for Kai, but as his left hand was unresponsive and his right was the only thing preventing his insides from becoming outsides, failure was pretty much a given.

"Nato-chan?" The girl said and looked up at him, giving the journin a clear view of her face. Minato gasped at the black, star-spangled void that filled her eye-sockets.

"Nato-chan, You have to come to Aniki-tou-san so he can fix you!"

Minato blinked. "Ano, do I know you, chibi?"

"Not yet, Nato-chan," the girl said solemnly, "but if you die now, the future will be very messy."

"Really?" Minato felt his knees give way. He managed not to squash the strange little girl, but it was a very near thing. "How messy?" He inquired absently.

"Nato-chan! You mustn't die!" The high, childish voice seemed to be coming from a very long way away.

Minato's eyes rolled back into his skull as he fell forwards in a dead faint.

A/N: My first fanfic. Let me know what you think. It's going to be a big one.


	2. Minato: Introduction

**Minato: Introduction**

Minato awoke to a deep-seated feeling of fatigue that saturated his body to the bone, which told him he'd succumbed to chakra exhaustion. The tight ache in his gut was an indicator of a mostly healed wound that had reached the to-scar-or-not-to-scar stage. However, his surroundings didn't smell like the hospital...

"Yogensha-sama, your guest has awakened."

"Arigatou, Gachoukuro-san!" That voice...

Minato opened his eyes, blinked twice and turned his head towards the rapid pattering sound of someone running in bare feet.

There was a black goose as big as an Inuzuka dog sitting by his knee. It had to be some king of summon, although the blond journin had never heard of a goose contract. That was both a relief and a problem; he may not have been captured by enemies, but they definitely weren't Konoha's allies either. Who exactly were these people?

"Ah, Nato-san!" It was the girl with the starry eye-sockets. "I brought food!" She held out a bowl of what smelled like miso soup.

"Arigatou, saotome," Minato said uncertainly, "but I'm not sure I can sit up unaided right now." His abdomen twinged in agreement.

"Gomen nasai, Nato-chan!" she said, putting the bowl down next to the goose before kneeling behind his head and hooking her elbows under his armpits. "Ready? And up!"

The girl being rather small, Minato ended up with his head leaning against her shoulder and his shoulders in her lap. That was however enough to give him the needed leverage to drag himself into a sitting position without his healing abdomen protesting too badly. Once upright, he accepted the soup from his helper and drank it down slowly.

"Saotome, anata no namae wa nan desu ka?" he asked, putting the bowl down.

"Watashi-wa Yogensha Usei desu."

"Konnichiwa, Usei-chan. Watashi-wa Namikaze Minato desu, but I think you knew that already."

"Hai." Usei blinked innocently, briefly cutting off his view of the twin pools of starry night that semed to stare right through him. "I am yogensha, Nato-chan. It is not just my name."

Yogensha. Seer and prophet. "A kekkai genkai?" he'd never heard of eyes like hers. Not even the legendary rin'negan could see into the future.

Usei just smiled, a little girl with a secret. "I am nearly six years old, Nato-chan. I have been yogensha since I was three and a half and you are the person with the most important future I have seen so far."

"Could you please not call me that?" Minato pouted. "It sounds girly."

"If you don't want me to I won't, Mina-chan,"

Minato groaned theatrically. "That's even worse!"

Usei giggled happily at his antics then stiffened abruptly, the star-like points of light in her eyes flaring brightly:

"Namikaze Minato, journin of Konohagakure no sato, student of Jiraiya the Gama-sennin, heed my words. You are the linchpin of your village's future. Should you die before the war ends, Konoha will follow you to the grave."

Minato froze, suddenly intimidated by the soft, sweet voice speaking through the bright, bubbly child he'd just met.

"If you need help, little shinobi, ask for it." Usei rose smoothly to her feet and left, walking around the folding screen that separated the alcove Minato's bedroll was lying in from the rest of the cave.

"You get used to it," the goose commented.

"Pardon, Gachou-san?"

"She's not all there," the goose elaborated, briefly stretching its wings. "Comes with being yogensha; half the time she's seeing the past or possible futures. Hope you've got a plan, though;" it added, eying him narrowly, "she's always right."

Minato thought of his village, his recently-former genin team, his fellow ninjas and the woman he loved. If Usei was right -and it sounded unpleasantly likely- he really needed to get that damned jutsu finished.


	3. Minato: Seal

**Minato: Seal**

"That Seal is wrong."

Minato blinked, frowning at the interruption. Usei had brought him meals three times a day for the past two days, as well as paper and ink for sealing to help him pass the time. He'd met another two geese, one of which had been taller than he was, and half a dozen fuzzy goslings. Unfortunately chakra exhaustion was not a minor affliction and he wouldn't be able to move far from his bed for another four days.

"I know it's wrong, Usei-chan;" he replied absently, "I just can't figure out how to make it right."

"It is supposed to be a beacon and an anchor," Usei said slowly, tracing the curving lines of one of the many discarded seals littering the area, "but you haven't got the match-up quite right."

"You know fuuinjutsu?" Minato was surprised. She wasn't even six yet. True, Kakashi-kun had been a genin by the time he was her age but seals were one of the more esoteric ninja arts.

"No; not yet anyway. I know you, though," she added absently, staring at a point somewhere in the middle distance over his right shoulder, "and this-" she flicked the seal he'd just completed "-isn't quite you."

Minato felt something slide into place in the back of his mind, something that had been nagging him for _years_ about this technique. He grabbed a fresh piece of paper and pushed it and the calligraphy brush into her tiny, soft hands.

"What am I then, exactly, if not that?"

Usei gripped the brush, smoothed out the paper and readied the ink. "You are..." hands unbelievably steady for one so young, she dipped the brush into the ink. "...this."

Minato watched, fascinated, as a design emerged beneath her dancing brush. The seal was elegant, intricate and utterly perfect. He could actually feel it forming, his chakra resonating with the design.

"And there you are," Usei murmured, laying down the brush.

Minato stared at the finished seal, then at the not-quite-six-year-old who had just drawn it. He knew that it would have taken him months, if not years to achieve what she had laid out in mere minutes.

"How?"

Usei shrugged. "I can see you. _All_ of you; who you were, who you are and who you will become. Inside and outside, a comprehensive whole. This seal," she tapped the edge of the paper, "is just me drawing what I can see."

"Oh." Minato decided that he didn't want to know any more about it. He had the seal he needed for his jutsu; that was more than enough. _Now how to pass the time.._.

"Usei-chan, would you like me to teach you fuuinjutsu?"

* * *

**Words and phrases used in the last two chapters**

yogensha = seer or prophet

arigatou = thankyou

saotome = little girl

gomen nasai = very sorry; apologies

anata no namae wa nan desu ka? = what's your name?

watashi-wa ... desu = my name is ...

konnichiwa = hello, greetings

translations courtesy of Wictionary.

A/N: this the third section of the five-part prologue.


	4. Minato: Departure

**Minato: Departure**

Minato fastened his neatly repaired journin vest over the shirt Usei had given him to replace the one the Iwa-nin had destroyed. He had fully recovered from his chakra exhaustion, and had even sent a toad to the Sandaime the other day to let him know that no, he wasn't dead yet. His new jutsu -which he'd decided to call 'Hirashin'- just needed a little bit of fine tuning and it would be finished.

He'd also met Usei's caretaker, whom she called 'Aniki-tou-san'. Taiyoumaki was a tall nineteen-year old with long blond hair, the patience of a saint and the mind of a politician. He was also the geese' summoner; Minato had had trouble suppressing his amusement when he'd first heard them addressing the young man as 'shogun'.

Teaching Usei sealing had been both productive and terrifying: she was frighteningly good at it and absorbed his lessons like a sponge. He'd found himself promising to continue the lessons by scroll, and had introduced her to three different messenger toads just to ensure they could find her to deliver his letters. It turned out that they wouldn't have a problem; according to the toads, Usei had a unique chakra signature that they could locate easily. Provided, of course, that she wanted them to. Minato had never met anyone who could hide their chakra as well as little Usei-chan.

The toad elders had also expressed in 'Minato-chan's little student' which the spiky-haired journin suspected had more to do with Usei's prophetic kekkai genkai than her sealing skills. Jiraiya had mentioned a toad prophesy once or twice...

_And now, back to war I go._ Minato sighed, double checking his gear before summoning the toad that would take him back to Konohagakure. Usei, Tiayoumaki, Gachoukuro and four fluffy goslings had assembled to see him off.

"Sayonara, Minato-san!" Taiyoumaki said, a small smile lurking in the corner of his mouth.

"Ja ne, Gama-deshi!" Minato grinned at the geese' nickname for him. One of the goslings had come up with it after their encounter with the elder toads.

"Mata ne, Nato-chan!" Usei called after him as the toad swallowed him and jumped into the river. Inside the toad's stomach, Minato hoped the foreboding he felt at the idea of seeing Usei again was just paranoia.

* * *

Aniki-tou-san = big-brother-dad; Usei's term for her guardian.

Gama-deshi = toad student.

A/N penultimate section of the prologue/setup.


	5. Minato: Return

**Minato: Return**

Minato moaned, head clutched in both hands as wracking pains shot up and down his body. He knew he was dead -he'd killed himself performing Shiki Fuujin and Hakke no Fuuin Shiki to seal the Kyuubi's yang chakra within his newborn son- so why did he hurt so much? He felt like he was being torn in two by wild horses while suffering a monument-sized hangover!

"Gomen nasai, Shinigami-san, but I can't let you take Nato-chan just yet."

_That voice_...

"I'll take responsibility for the yin Kyuubi as well, if you prefer."

_Was that...was that Usei-chan?_

"How about an exchange, then? Two souls, one for each of the ones I am depriving you of."

_Usei-chan, talking to Shinigami-sama? How did she get here?_

"Those two? They're both S-ranked shinobi, Shinigami-san. It will take me _years_ to get that good."

_On that note, where is 'here' anyway? It certainly isn't Konoha, and if Usei is here it probably isn't the afterlife. Or Shinigami-sama's stomach._

"Very well then. I agree to those terms. Arigatou, Shinigami-san."

The pain stopped, making rational thought possible once more. The white-faced god of death faded away, leaving Minato with Usei, who looked older and taller than when he'd last seen her. She'd also cut her hair boyishly short, which looked a little odd considering she was wearing a formal kimono.

"Where am I?"

"Tetsu no kuni; Aniki-tou-san is visiting the daimyo."

"Why am I not dead?"

Usei gave him a flat look. "Namikaze Minato-san, you are very definitely deceased. In fact, you are a ghost. Feel free to check if you don't believe me."

Minato looked down at himself. He was indeed somewhat transparent with a faint yellow glow around the edges. Not to mention standing through a table.

"Then why am I here? I mean, I performed Shiki Fuujin-"

Usei hopped up onto the table and punched him in the head. "Baka! You killed yourself! The only reason you aren't being tortured in Shinigami-san's stomach is that when I found you dying in Iwa I tied your soul to me so I would have time to heal you."

"You tied me to you? How?"

"Kinjutsu," Usei said flatly. "Your soul is bound to mine until I die or release you. That's why I can touch you despite your being incorporeal and why Shinigami-san couldn't take you. So I bargained with him, since you promised him two souls for his trouble, and got him to agree to an exchange."

Minato, stunned and humbled, looked at the almost-seven-year-old whose expression was far too old and tired for her face. He remembered, far too late, her admonishment spoken a little over a year ago: _If you need help, little shinobi, ask for it_. "You said something about S-class shinobi?"

"Hai. In exchange for lifelong authority over your soul and Kyuubi's -which corresponds to his yin chakra, since the bijuu are like animals in that they are divided into mind and body, unlike humans who are mind, body and soul- I am bound to deliver to the Shinigami the souls of two immortal shinobi. Uchiha Madara and Kakuzu, formerly of Taki, to be exact. No time limit, thankfully, but they have to die by my hand for the bargain to be valid."

Minato dropped to his knees, floating just above the floor, stunned. "Usei-chan, your not seven yet, you can't-"

"I know, Namikaze! Believe me, I know. But it is done now and I can't undo it. Should I renege on the deal Shinigami-san will not just take my soul and yours when I die, but release Kyuubi as well." She sighed, flopping down on a cushion next to him. "It isn't just about you though, Nato-chan. That future the toads saw may depend on the child of prophesy, but for that child to prevail the immortals have to die. At least this way I get something out of it."

"I've fought Madara, Usei-chan. He set Kyuubi on Konoha. I almost didn't beat him, and even though I won I only drove him off," Minato said softly.

"We have time," she replied simply. "Now tell me what you've been up to since you last letter. You mentioned Kushina was pregnant?"

Minato's heart clenched. "Kushina-chan..." He couldn't hold back the tears.

Usei crawled into his lap and hugged him tightly, letting the former Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato cry into her hair as he mourned for his wife.

* * *

Sealing Methods

Shiki Fuujin = corpse spirit sealing method. Used to 'kill' the Kyuubi by extracting its yin chakra; a suicide technique.

Hakke no Fuuin Shiki = eight divination signs seal. Used to seal Kyuubi's yang chakra into the newborn Uzumaki Naruto.

A/N: And the prologue is over. Reviews, please?


	6. Naruto: Beginning

**Naruto: Beginning**

Naruto ducked under a stall, dashed past the irate stall-holder and down the alley behind him. _Through the hole in the fence, across the yard, over the far wall, down another alley around the corner and he was safe!_ The nondescript dead end edged on three sides by a large, elegant but rather elderly building was cleaner than the narrow alley which connected it to a side-street, but no-one ever seemed to come into it. The windows which looked onto the small square were all obscured by blinds or shutters, making it even more private. The scrawny six-year-old sat down in the corner furthest out of sight from the connecting alleyway and munched happily on the peach he'd stolen. Today was a good day.

"Well, who's this?"

Naruto jumped and spun around at the sound of the words spoken by a gently teasing female voice.

"Now then, nothing to be afraid of," the older, dark-haired girl in a fantastically patterned kimono said from the open doorway of the building behind him, "I'm just curious as to who is sitting in our courtyard."

"Your courtyard, nee-san?" Naruto asked timidly. I can go if you want."

"I'd rather you stayed; today has been very dull indeed and you look like a fun person to talk to. What's your name?"

Naruto brightened. "Watashi-wa Uzumaki Naruto desu, dattebayo! I'm gonna be Hokage!"

The girl's eyes turned introspective. "Uzumaki, ne? Who are your parents?"

Naruto wilted. "Ano, I'm an orphan."

"Gomen nasai, Naruto-chan. You just look a lot like a ninja I met when I was your age. He died in the Kyuubi attack, though."

"What was he like, nee-san?" the whisker-marked boy asked, curious. No-one had ever mentioned his looking like a dead ninja before.

"He had spiky blonde hair and blue eyes just like you, although yours are a different shape;" the girl said quietly, eyes staring off into the distance. "He was a very gifted and hard-working ninja and he loved this village more than anything." She paused, "Gomen, Naruto-chan, where are my manners: Watashi-wa Mitsusha no Hibana desu."

"Konnichiwa, Hibana-chan! You're really pretty!" Naruto said, sticky hands held behind his back away from his new friend's clean kimono.

"Arigatou, Naruto-chan. I'm a minarai, in training to become a geisha, so looking pretty is part of my job," Hibana said with a small smile.

"You must be really good then! What are geisha? Are they like ninja? Do you know any cool techniques?" Naruto asked, bouncing on the spot with excitement. He had a new friend! With Hokage-jiji who had visited him before he got kicked out of the orphanage, Ichiraku the ramen guy and Ayame who helped him, he had four friends now! And Hibana-chan had told him about a really cool ninja who looked like he did!

"Well, it's a slow day. Come inside Naruto-chan and I can show you a little bit of what geisha learn and what they do," Hibana said with an amused smile. "You'll have to wash your hands and face, though." She looked him over critically, taking in his grubby skin and ragged outfit. "In fact, a proper bath is in order, as well as a change in clothes."

"Ano, Hibana-chan, I don't have any other clothes."

"I'll find an outfit you can borrow while yours is being washed. Would that be acceptable?"

Naruto beamed. "Hai, Hibana-nee-chan!"

* * *

**Specialised terminology**

nee-san = big sister; generic address for an older girl

minarai = first stage in geisha training; means 'learning by watching'

geisha = traditional female entertainer, specialising in classical arts such as music and dance. While there is a sexual element to thier services, that is at the geisha's discretion, not the clients

A/N. And the story begins in earnest.


	7. Naruto: Lessons

**Naruto: Lessons**

Naruto really liked Hibana-nee-chan, though he also liked the other girls who lived at the Mitsusha okiya. Just not as much: Hibana-nee was special! The other girls were still nice though; they showed him how to eat politely and how to read and made him new clothes when they found out the shops wouldn't sell him any. When Hokage-jiji gave him an apartment and entered him in the ninja academy they gave him plants as a house-warming present, and showed him how to take care of them. Later on, when he realised that his academy sensei hated him just like almost everyone else did, Hibana-nee hugged him and let him cry in her lap. Once he was feeling better she even offered a solution: He would still go to the academy, but he would treat it like a real ninja mission! He would pretend to do badly and learn everything at home from books. Hibana-nee promised to help him with his reading, as well as other stuff he needed to learn. All the minarai and some of the maiko and geisha agreed to help, saying that ninja needed to be able to infiltrate anywhere, so they needed to know all about other professions and how to fit in. Naruto agreed because he secretly enjoyed Himitu-okaa-san's lessons, even though she was really strict. Himitsu-okaa-san owned the okiya and taught all the minarai. Hibana-nee told him she was really famous! She even knew the daimyo!

The day after Naruto promised to learn everything the Mitsusha okiya could teach, he bought himself an orange jumpsuit -one he had previously determined 'too bright' for a proper ninja, no matter how awesome orange was- to wear to the academy. He also bought glue, which he coated the chalk with before class. He nearly laughed himself sick at his sensei's expression when the chalk failed to write. It was the first prank in a long and distinguished career.

By the time Naruto was eight he had all but given up on ever learning anything worthwhile at the academy, instead using his time there -when he actually attended- to consolidate his 'official' persona. Hibana-nee had explained to him that a persona was like a mask, except it covered all of you, inside and outside. She had even taken him to see a kabuki play as an example of personas and acting. Naruto made his academy persona louder, less observant and more cheerful than his real self. He also made sure to shed his persona at home and in the okiya; he was safe there and didn't need it.

In those two years Naruto's education outside the academy was far more thorough than the one he received inside, and likely outstripped that of his fellow students since, lacking playmates, he spent most of his time learning. He was formally registered as a minarai in the Mitsusha's records, although his gender had been deliberately omitted. His education was now divided between three different geisha onee-san, but he wasn't allowed to practice outside the okiya yet. His calligraphy had improved dramatically and he could sing, dance and play the shamisen to a standard that Himitsu-okaa-san pronounced 'adequate', which made him want to bounce and shout with joy because Himitsu-okaa-san was really, _really_ stingy with complements. Hibana-nee-chan was a maiko and was gaining a respectable following, and the other onee-san whispered that Himitsu-okaa-san was considering her for atotori, to run the Mitsusha after the okaa-san retired.

Naruto had also learned more about flowers, colours, clothing and personal grooming than most fully grown kunoichi realised existed and had become very good at styling hair. In addition to these practical skills he had learned formal manners and ettiquette -mostly female, although Takemaru, the okiya's lone male geisha, had instilled in him the basics of male propriety and taught him all the differences in speech men and women used. While in the okiya, Naruto wore a wig, used female speech and responded to 'Naru-chan'.

History and literature had also figured prominently, as witty and informed conversation was an essential skill for any aspiring geisha. Games, customs and cultures of other nations was necessary as well; Himitsu-okaa-san herself had come to konoha from Mizu no kuni and explained that since geisha were civilians, they could cross boarders fairly freely. Some travelled exclusively between the various daimyos' courts. Naruto sometimes wished that attending the academy _wasn't_ compulsory for aspiring ninja; he was learning much more relevant information when he wasn't in class...

He was not quite nine years old when almost the entire upper echelon of the military police force vanished overnight, leaving chaos in its wake. Hibana-nee-chan told him that afternoon that the Uchiha clan had been wiped out except for the clan heir, Sasuke, who had just started at the academy. In deference to the dead, Naruto only pulled minor pranks in the two months it took the village to reorganise the police force. He missed some of them a great deal -a couple of the less stuffy Uchiha chunnin had even given him some neat ideas for pranks- and managed to find out where they'd been buried so he could leave flowers. He'd overheard them talking once or twice about a guy called Obito who would have laughed at his pranks, or even joined in. They seemed to miss him; Naruto had received the impression he was a cousin or something.

When leaving flowers Naruto promised to do extra-special pranks for them and the friend they were -hopefully- reunited with. Now they were dead they could watch his pranks without getting told off for laughing!

* * *

A/N: Naruto's education continues. Note that spoken japanese really does vary according to the gender of the speaker, and an okiya is the premesis where geisha live and work from.


	8. Itachi: Hope

**Itachi: Hope**

Itachi sat on a boulder somewhere near the boarder of river country, meticulously running a cleaning rag over the blade of his ninja-to. The past two months had been a nightmarish downward spiral ending in the massacre of his family the previous night. Now his clan was no more, the Uchiha line reduced to himself, his otouto and Madara, their ancient ancestor. Itachi felt that the clan had been right to shun Madara back in the beginning, shortly after they founded Konohagakure with the Senju -the ancient shinobi was clearly insane- and it was a shame that his father's generation had chosen to follow in the madman's footsteps.

He had gotten away from Madara for a little while, but Itachi knew it couldn't last; the man wanted him for something. _Probably his latest scheme for the annihilation of Konohagakure_, Itachi reflected with a snort. His ancestor's monomania was was more than slightly ridiculous for a shinobi of Madara's supposed stature. Sadly, he couldn't think of a more worthwhile way to pass the time now he had become a nukenin. He'd been trained to follow orders since before he could walk; his newfound independence was probably about the only thing his upbringing had not equipped him for.

"You know, Itachi-kun, that the little display you put on for your otouto has probably warped his mind beyond what even the greatest medic-nin could hope to repair?"

Itachi twitched. The speaker, contrary to all expectations, was not Madara. She was about five foot four, glowing softly white around the edges and slightly translucent. Wearing a simple white kimono and obi, her hair was tied up in knot on the back of her head and her eyes were as black and star-filled as the night sky. She looked like a yuurei from a fireside tale, although the large scroll strapped to her back was somewhat incongruous.

"Who are you?" Itachi asked levelly.

The girl smiled wryly. "Does it really matter? I have something of yours here," she patted the scroll, "so I was going to give it back to you."

Itachi didn't respond, sliding the newly cleaned blade of his ninja-to back into its sheath. Whoever this girl was -she looked about sixteen to his thirteen, but he had been an ANBU captain until this morning and she looked and acted like a civilian- she was a security risk. If she had indeed seen him use the Tsukiyomi on his brother little brother and understood what he had done, she had done so without making him aware of her presence, which took uncomfortably high levels of skill. That she had clearly evaded his ancestor's notice as well spoke further volumes for her stealth. Her claim that she had something of his, however...

"I didn't leave behind anything that I am interested in reclaiming," Itachi said eventually, voice bland.

The girl raised an eyebrow; "Not even if it shares your blood?"

Sasuke. _She has Sasuke_. Itachi stood, sliding into a ready stance as his already active sharingan slipped into Mangekyou: "_Give him to me_."

She lifted her hands as if to ward him off, body language relaxed and unruffled. "Easy there, I said I would give them to you, did I not?" She slid the scroll off her shoulder and unrolled it across the grass still damp with morning dew, revealing a series of seals. "And I don't have your otouto, just so you know. The ones I was able to lift are all considerably younger and smaller than he is." She pumped chakra into the seal array, releasing a cloud of smoke.

When the smoke cleared, a dozen tiny, childish bodies were revealed. The oldest looked about five, the youngest no more than six months old, probably less. His former clan's future.

Itachi had killed all those Uchiha involved in the prospective coup against the Hokage; it had been Madara who had slaughtered the clan's civilians, women, children and elderly. Seeing the tiny, lifeless bodies really brought home what a monster Madara truly was. To wantonly slaughter babies was abominable. _That could have been Sasuke; he looked like that once, so small and helpless._

The ghostly girl seemed immune to the horror and gently touched glowing fingers to the forehead of the oldest child.

There was a brief flare of chakra and the boy took a deep gasping breath, his own chakra suddenly exploding into life to Itachi's sharingan.

"Kaa-san?" the boy whimpered, looking around wildly. "Aniki?" He spotted Itachi, who had deactivated his Mangekyou to conserve chakra, and seemed to relax a little.

"Itachi-san!" The child made a beeline for the teenage nukenin and hugged his leg tightly, tears welling up. "He-he killed kaa-san and nii-san, Itachi-san!"

Itachi stared blankly at the smiling girl, one hand carefully ruffling the sobbing boy's hair in an attempt at comfort. "What did you do, exactly?"

"You are aware of the fact that your ancestor, Madara, is irredeemably psychopathic, hai?" the girl hedged.

"Hai."

"Well, I swapped those children I reached in time with flesh clones, which Madara killed believing them real. Then I used a jutsu specific to my mother's clan on the children I saved so I could seal them in a scroll without causing them harm."

"Flesh clone?" Itachi inquired, still absently comforting the boy. He wasn't very good with children and for all that he loved his brother, they'd never spent much time together.

"It's kinjutsu. Created a flesh-and-blood body that the caster can use like a puppet and mould to mimic the features of anyone they choose. Kill it and the corpse stays behind," the girl replied, resealing the other bodies back into the array. "Be nice to the kid; he just saw his mother and brother killed. I'm told you experienced death for the first time at a similar age."

Itachi froze, suppressed memories of the end of the third shinobi war emerging from the sticky depths of his subconscious. He narrowed his eyes at the girl who was calmly rolling the scroll back up again. "Why are you doing this?"

The ghost-girl closed her eyes briefly, looking away. "I was in Mizu no kuni during the latest round of bloodline purges," she said softly. "I promised myself I would do everything within my power to save those children young enough to start over. Madara was largely responsible for those massacres as well."

"In Kirigakure?"

"Uchiha Madara was the Sandaime Mizukage," she replied calmly, eyes cold as midwinter, and for his crimes committed in that office, among others, he will die by my hand."

That assertion killed the conversation dead for a few minutes.

"What's your name?" Itachi asked eventually.

"Gomen, Itachi-kun. Watashi-wa Yogensha Usei desu."

"Konnichiwa, Yogensha-san," Itachi said politely.

"Ohayo Usei-san," the little boy sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"Why are you here, Yogensha-san?" Itachi asked. He was getting a headache behind his right eye.

"Well, I thought you might need something to do with your time now that you've left Konohagakure, and well, I have a dozen under-fives in need of support," Usei said, shrugging. "I thought you might like to help since they're family."

"I know knothing about children," the nukenin said flatly.

"Then you should learn in case you ever reproduce."

"Madara will come looking for me."

"I'm on a long-term S-rank mission from the highest authority to permanently end his life. Being around you will make finding him easier."

Itachi looked down at the boy clinging to his thigh. "I don't know their names."

"Give them new ones. That way it will be harder for anyone to trace them back to their former clan."

Itachi was mildly concerned to realise he was actually considering it. He wasn't sure if he should be amused or horrified. Looking down at the five-year-old again, he wondered who to name him after.

"Kamen, Inutaicho," he decided after a pause. ANBU had been more family to him than the clan had ever tried to be. Naming his new charges after the masks of his comrades was fitting, and naming the eldest after Hatake-sempai was one in the eye for the deceased elders. More importantly, he respected the copy-nin. He was an excellent shinobi.

"Hear that, Inu-chan? Itachi and I will look after you know," Usei said gently. "You'll have to help us take care of the babies, though. Can you do that, koinu?"

The newly named Inutaicho nodded, eyes wide.

"Good boy. Now let Itachi-kun give you a piggyback so we can reach town quickly. I know somewhere safe we can lie low for a while until we find a more stable base of operations."

* * *

Three months later Itachi wandered around the fortified mansion Usei-sempai had somehow acquired, bemused by recent events. The 'safe place' had been an okiya in the capital of River country. The geisha in charge had been magnificently indifferent to the Uchiha's new status as an S-ranked nukenin and had rented a suite of rooms to them.

Itachi had then been the recipient of a crash course in childcare as Usei woke the other eleven children over the next five days. She had thankfully taken charge of the babies and toddlers, but seeing to the wants and needs of five children aged between three-and-a-half and five years old was more nerve-racking than any previous mission he'd had before, ever. If ANBU candidates had been made to care for even two small children for a week before being considered for admission to the ranks of the elite, those who actually made the grade would probably be far less highly strung.

He'd named them in threes, like genin teams. Of course, genin teams rarely had more than one girl in, but that couldn't be helped.

Inutaicho, Kame and Neko were the first set. Neko was the female of the group and Usei had used a seal to set a permanent genjutsu on her hair, turning it from dark to pale brown. Another seal hid her and Inutaichos' eyes, changing them from black to gold. Kame had a seal which changed the bone structure of his face so it looked rounder and less refined than the classic Uchiha look. Usei-sempai said the seal would grow with him, modifying his true features so that even if the seal was removed he wouldn't look particularly Uchiha-like.

The second trio was made up of Tori, Nezumi and Usagi; oldest and youngest were both female, while Nezumi was male. Tori had a seal which darkened her skin heavily, while Nezumi had his eyes turned golden like his oldest brother and sister. Usagi had been granted blonde hair and green eyes, making her the most eye-catching of the children over three.

Hebi, Tora and Kitsune were next, all toddlers aged between two and three. Exact birthdays were yet to be determined, since no-one knew when they were supposed to be. Hebi was the girl of the trio, as well as the most precocious.

Hebi had been given purple hair in honour of Mitarashi Anko, which went well with her brown eyes, while Tora had been given blue eyes and had his skin darkened. Kitsune had dark red hair and similarly blue eyes. Again minor changes in bone structure had been factored into the seals, ensuring that once grown they would not look unusually Uchiha-like.

The youngest three were Ushi, Uma and Koumori, all less than a year old with Koumori being the youngest and the token female of the set. Ushi and Uma appeared to be exactly the same age, so they had been officially named as twins. Both had been given green eyes to go with their brown hair, granting a surprising resemblance to Usagi. Koumori, who wasn't even weaned yet, was the family baby. Itachi had named her in a moment of frustration for her habit of demanding to be fed in the middle of the night. The only seal on her was a skin-darkening one, making her look like Tori.

Itachi found the stresses of parenting paradoxically calming. After three months of eighteen hour days helping to care for a dozen highly active and chaotic preschoolers, the prospect of conventional ninja missions was almost a relief. Usei-sempai had promised to find caretakers so he could take up his secret mission in Akatsuki and so far she had found two he had actually approved, both female.

The younger was ten, an oiran's daughter of Hyuuga parentage written clearly in her pupil-less pearly grey eyes. While pretty she was neither graceful nore well-spoken, which was why her mother had been perfectly content to sell her to Usei-sempai for an apprenticeship. Itachi had discovered in the girl sufficient aptitude to make a good kunoichi and an excellent medic-nin. She had also activated her byakugan, so the Uchiha had not hesitated to inform her of her talent and potential. As a result, Nitsuki -nicknamed Mogura, mole, by the children- was as loyal and hardworking a carer as any parent could hope for.

The elder girl was nineteen, fully adult and a properly qualified civilian nurse. Her name was Retsu and her unemployment when Usei-sempai found her had been due to the nurse losing her temper with a wealthy yet ill-tempered patient. Retsu got on well with the children, who called her Ryuu -dragon- and obeyed her when she gave them orders. She also made the effort to spend time with each and every one of them, learning about them as individuals and not just a means of continued employment.

While Usei-sempai had unanimously been elected the 'kaa-san' of the brood, Itachi was generally addressed as 'aniki', a role he was fairly familiar with. Itachi was not however allowed to get away with the neglectful behaviour he had engaged in with Sasuke; neither Usei-sempai nor Retsu-san permitted it and Itachi had learned to be wary of the latter's temper. He therefore found himself teaching Inutaicho and Kame to throw kunai, explaining chakra to Neko and Tori, playing ninja with half-a-dozen of them at a time and teaching basic kata to all of the bipedal children at odd hours of the day. It was actually fun; he found himself wishing he'd made time to do it with Sasuke.

"Tadiama! Where are you, Itachi?"

Itachi set off toward the front entrance, careful not to wake Koumori who was fast asleep in his arms. She always woke up if he tried to put her down, so he had resigned himself to carrying the eight-month-old around the house with him.

Walking down the stairs and around the corner, he stopped dead and _stared_ at the man standing behind Usei-sempai.

It was the Yondaime.

Itachi had only been four when Namikaze Minato had died, but he'd seen his Hokage once or twice while in the academy. He'd remembered the smiling blond as he rose through the ranks, recalling the man's heartfelt desire for peace and being determined to bring it into being.

"Konnichiwa, Itachi-kun," the living ghost said with a gentle and achingly familiar smile. "You're all grown up."

"Yon-Yondaime-sama?" Itachi managed to croak.

"Maa, not for a long time now, Tachi-kun. Call me Minato," the blond said, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "And yes, I really did die, but my soul was bound to this plane so I couldn't pass on. Usei-chan made me this body but it's just a short-term fix. It's nice to be corporeal again, though."

Itachi blinked, swallowed and turned to Usei-sempai who had shed her coat and sandals, pulled a paintbrush out of nowhere and was now advancing on Minato, ink bowl clasped in the fingers of her other hand.

"How is this temporary, Usei-sempai?"

"It's just a bunshin, Itachi-kun. A shintai-bunshin, but nonetheless a bunshin. While Nato-chan will be able to channel chakra, in this body his reserves will never be more than low chunnin in absolute terms," Usei-sempai said, painting what Itachi recognised as a cosmetic seal on Minato's forehead. Once completed it glowed briefly then vanished, dying his hair dark red and his eyes gold.

Which reminded him...

"Nato-chan?" Itachi heard himself ask.

Minato blushed. "she was five," he muttered, "and it was better than the alternative."

"What _was_ the alternative?" Itachi just had to hear this.

"Mina-chan," Usei-sempai said calmly. "Where are the chibi? I want them to meet their new tou-san."

Itachi was torn between incredulity at the girly nickname Usei-sempai had bestowed on the Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou of all people and vicious, vindictive hilarity at what Uchiha Fugaku would think of the former Yondaime raising the next generation of Uchiha. That Minato was probably the father of the Kyuubi jinchuuriki if appearance was anything to go by was the sauce topping on the dango. Itachi couldn't help himself.

"Are you laughing at me?" Minato whined piteously. "I told you it was worse."

"Not that," Itachi wheezed, handing Koumori to Usei-sempai before his shaking woke the baby up, "What Fugaku-sama would say if he knew you'd be raising the next generation of his clan..!"

Minato grinned, firmly cementing Uzumaki Naruto's parentage in Itachi's mind. "He'd have a heart attack, the stuffy tight-ass," the newly disguised former-blonde stated cheerfully.

Uchiha Itachi, default head of the Uchiha clan, gave up all pretences of dignity and rolled on the floor, laughing so hard he cried.

* * *

**Name Translations**

Kamen = mask.

Inutaicho = dog-captain

Kame = tortoise

Neko = cat

Tori = bird

Nezumi = rat

Usagi = rabbit

Hebi = snake

Tora = tiger

Kitsune = fox

Ushi = ox

Uma = horse

Koumori = bat

Yoko = demon fox, fox spirit

Itachi = weasel

Umei = sound of rain

Nitsuki = two moons

Retsu = fiery, violent

Minato = harbour

Konoha no Kiiroi Senko = Yellow Flash of Konoha

A/N: Sorry about that; all properly edited now. Behold, the first major departure from canon: Sasuke is no longer the last Uchiha!


	9. Naruto: Unexpected

**Naruto: Unexpected**

It was shortly after Naruto's ninth birthday that his academy sensei started to teach his class how to actually mould chakra. This created a slew of new problems for the short blond boy; he couldn't get the supposedly basic leaf balancing exercise to work.

"I tried really hard, nee-chan, but it wouldn't stay on!" Naruto complained, pouting as he went through the now smooth and practised motions of a formal tea ceremony. In his styled wig, make-up and brightly multicoloured, flower-patterned kimono fastened with an orange, chrysanthemum patterned obi, not one of his classmates, sensei or other adult friends would have recognised him.

"What happened exactly, Naru-chan?" Hibana-nee asked calmy from her seat by the low table. She was almost sixteen now and would soon be elevated to full geisha. When that happened she intended to accept 'Naru' as her Maiko imouto. Naruto was a bit sad he would never get to be a proper geisha -Takemaru was nice and all, but Naruto really liked wearing the feminine kimonos- but he was still looking forward to it. He would finally be allowed to interact with clients without supervision! Not just that, but also travel outside the okiya professionally! Plus, he could start earning and pay back Himitsu-okaa-san and Hibana-nee for all the pretty clothes and important books, ornaments and other tools of the geisha trade they had bought him. His current predicament, though, made it hard to be optimistic. Abject failure always made him miserable.

"The dumb leaf shot off my forehead, up in the air," he grumbled, pouring his nee-san's tea at precisely the approved angle. "and when I tried again, it _shredded_. Then sensei shouted at me for messing around and called me stupid."

"It sounds to me like you were using too much chakra, Naru-chan," Hibana-nee said, sipping her tea delicately. "I do know a little about chakra training, though I don't have enough reserves to be a good ninja. My one useful ninja skill is the ability to sense other peoples' chakra levels. You, my Naru-chibi, have a great deal of chakra. A waterfall's worth, compared to your classmates' bucketful. Leaf balancing only uses a small amount of chakra at a time, and you do not have precise enough control to use such a tiny proportion of your reserves. Your classmates have very little, so using a little is easy for them."

"What should I do then, nee-san?" Naruto asked, sipping his own tea.

"First I want you to meditate and learn the feel of your chakra. It is as much a part of you as your hands or stomach, so being able to feel it will help you to control it," Hibana-nee said firmly. "Second, I will show you the twelve principle handseals. You will practice forming them _without_ moulding chakra until you can make strings of then quickly and perfectly. This will make learning jutsu easier for you when they get around to teaching them to you. Third, I'll give you a book on handseals to read. It will tell you what each handseal does to your chakra and why they are used."

"Hai, nee-chan," Naruto sighed. _It sounds so boring!_

"Meditating will calm your chakra, Naru-chan, making it easier to control. Once you have achieved that I will teach you a chakra control exercise you will find easier," Hibana-nee promised with a small smile. "The book is to give you something to do in between meditating and to help you get ahead in your ninjutsu."

Meditation did help, and the handseal book Hibana-nee gave him was actually rather interesting, but it wasn't until his academy sensei introduced the class to the henge no jutsu that Naruto realised how useful chakra could be.

The first week of Naruto's final year at the academy the chunnin sensei finally started teaching his class actual jutsu. The henge, or disguise technique was the first of these, but it used such a pathetic ammount of chakra that Naruto found it almost impossible to perform. Being sent out of the class halfway through the explanation didn't help, either.

That did not mean that he gave up; The whisker-marked blonde wanted this technique more than all the flashy jutsu in the world, as it would enable him to train as a _real_ maiko rather than just a ninja who could pretend to be one.

Three weeks of solid effort later, Naruto had it down. At least, he thought he did. His henge didn't quite correspond to what he could remember of his sensei's description. For one, it was actually solid rather than illusory. Secondly, his mass changed when henged into someone or something significantly larger or smaller than he was. With this in mind, he decided to ask his nee-san for help. She'd be able to fill in the gaps in his understanding of the jutsu, since she'd said she had basic ninja training.

He changed into his civilian outfit -which included a bandanna over his hair and makeup to hide the whisker-marks- and set off out of his apartment to find Hibana-nee.

Hibana-nee listened patiently to his somewhat disjointed explanation, made him do the jutsu a couple of times then sent one of the newer minarai for food and drink. Once they were alone again she told Naruto to practice his shamisen while she went to fetch Himitsu-okaa-san.

Himitsu-okaa-san was very interested in Naruto's henge variant. She made him transform into several different girls of various ages, then made him take off his clothes while in henge and had him stand there while she prodded him in various personal places. Naruto didn't dare complain, no matter how weird what Himitsu-okaa-san was doing made him feel; in the okiya, Himitsu-okaa-san was kami. She stopped eventually and let him release the henge and get dressed while she talked to Hibana-nee in low, rapid tones on the other side of the room.

"Naru-chan," Himitsu-okaa-san said at last, "I will allow you to become a maiko of my okiya in your special henge. Hibana-chan will be your onee-san for as long as she remains at the Mitsusha, after which, if you are still maiko, I will take you as my imouto. You have talent, Naru-chan, and I do not want it wasted. Many kunoichi could benefit from the training you have submitted to, but they believe themselves above such things. They are foolish: ninja do others' dirty work for money. Nothing is to low for a shinobi to learn from."

Naruto bowed low in acknowledgement and thanks.

"Your henge-self will be called Benihime," the okaa-san continued. "She has dark red hair and lilac eyes, and she is thirteen years of age. I do not accept maiko any younger, or the wait for physical maturity is longer than the time required for training. Hibana-chan will instruct you in how to achieve the proper effect." She swept from the room, regal as an emperess.

Hibana picked up where Himitsu-san had left off:

"Benihime-chan is to be as close to your real self as possible, Naru-chan. Please go into henge and concentrate on how _exactly_ you would look if you were a girl."

Naruto obliged; the effect was fairly minor. His hair was softer and slightly smoother and his centre of mass was a little lower.

"Good. Now stay in henge, but make yourself about four years older."

That was... interesting. He could _feel_ his body filling out, his legs lengthening and his chest -breasts?- expanding. Hibana helped him loosen his suddenly too-small kimono and eyed him critically.

"You look just right," she said after a pause, "other than the colouring. And you need to conceal the whisker marks."

Naruto darkened his hair to blood red, his eyes to lilac and vanished his whisker marks. He also slimmed his face slightly and tilted his eyes up at the outside, narrowing them a touch just to prove he could. Modifications complete, he stared at his reflection in the full-length mirror, committing his new self to memory.

"Perfect. Now put these on and listen carefully," Hibana said, handing him some larger underthings and a lightweight yukata. "I think I know how your henge works. Not entirely -I have no idea how you shifted into objects or where the extra mass comes and goes from- but I know how you changed your age and gender.

"Now men and women may look and act differently, but on a basic, genetic level the _actual_ difference is minimal. Your body and mine contain the necessary instructions and materials for both a male and female form. What makes you a boy is the fact that your body contains a short piece of code that mine does not, a code you received from your father upon conception. That code enables your body to produce two specific chemicals which ensure that you are born male and develop as such.

"When you change your gender with your special henge, your chakra 'hides' both the code and the chemicals that make you male and pushes your body to conform to the new pattern, transforming you into your own female twin. The looking older is similar, your chakra fooling your body into believing it is older.

"The other changes are purely cosmetic, moulding flesh and bone like clay and adjusting superficial colouring.

"The important bit, however, is that since your henge is technically ninjutsu, it is undetectable and won't break on kai. You actually adjust your body shape rather than spinning a genjutsu over it. The only way to identify you as Naruto while in henge is your chakra signature, but incredibly the gender change disguises that as well. I can teach you to suppress it further, if you like.

"Now -and this is _vital_, Naruto- do your best not to let anyone discover that your henge is solid. If someone uses kai on you in non-mission-related circumstances because they suspect you, dispel the technique to preserve the secret. This jutsu could save your life and the lives of those depending on you. Because everyone assumes that no henge could ever be solid, your henge gives you a hidden ace. Understood?"

"Hai, Hibana-onee-san," Naruto -_Benihime, I'm Benihime now_- said, pausing to listen to how different his voice sounded.

"Good. Now you are Benihime, my maiko-imouto and you need the clothing appropriate for your status. Follow me, please."

* * *

**Terms of endearment**

nee, onee-san/-chan = older sister

imouto = little sister

chibi = baby, little one

okaa-san/kaa-san = mother

nii, onii-san, aniki = big brother

otouto = little brother

otou-san/tou-san = father

A/N: My second major departure from canon after the rescue of the youngest Uchiha children. This is the birth of Naruto's first original technique and will have massive bearing on the story in the future, as will its effects on his personality. Konoha is DOOMED.


	10. Naruto: Repetition

**Naruto: Repetition**

It was nearly time for graduation and Naruto was nervous. His kotai-henge was flawless and his kawarimi was perfectly adequate, but he couldn't do bunshin to save his life. _Not that it ever would. Stupid prissy jutsu._ He wasn't very good at throwing kunai or shuriken either, but that was because the civilian shops wouldn't sell him good quality weapons and the ninja shops were only open to people with hitai-ite.

Hibana-nee had taught Benihime acupuncture, how to throw senbon and wield tessen, but if Naruto were to demonstrate those skills he would give himself away. Similarly, he couldn't use Benihime's developing taijutsu style because his body wasn't the right shape for it. Being two different people at once was harder than it looked.

In addition to this uncertainty, Naruto wasn't sure he even _wanted_ to graduate with this class. None of his classmates liked him, or even talked to him. In fact, they all treated him like the adults did: a mixture of disdain, hatred and wilful obliviousness. Naruto didn't want to be on a team with people who deliberately ignored him. Plus, they were all a year older than he was.

With all of this in mind, along with the fact that furthering his ninja career this early would delay Benihime's maiko education, Naruto decided not to try too hard to graduate. On the upside, delaying gave him an extra year to improve his chakra control, weapons and taijutsu.

After failing -rather badly- he explained his reasoning to Hibana-nee, who agreed that failing might have been the right choice, but admonished him to 'discuss it next time, chibi!'. Four teams from his former class actually graduated and started taking missions with their journin-sensei; having spied on them performing said missions, Naruto was perfectly happy to drop down a year and graduate at eleven with his age mates. _Plus, Hibana-nee promised to get hold of some proper shuriken and kunai for me to practice with, and Takemaru-nii-san said he'd teach me boy-taijutsu!_

Naruto's eleventh year was... eventful. He actually made sort-of friends with Rock Lee, a dark-haired boy with incredibly bushy eyebrows who couldn't use chakra at all. Lee worked extra hard on his taijutsu to make up for that deficiency and Naruto sparred with him regularly, both to help him and to improve the blond's own taijutsu.

Lee was very hard-working and very grateful for Naruto's support of his dream, which was to become a great shinobi without needing chakra. In exchange lee helped Naruto with his stances and borrowed a succession of different taijutsu books from the library, which they went over together and tried to learn from. Naruto's time studying under Himitsu-okaa-san had improved his memorising skills from 'poor' to 'almost photographic', so he absorbed knowledge like a sponge.

Their only point of contention -which came up at least twice a month- was that Lee believed that a shinobi needed to know one strong style really well, while Naruto insisted that it was better to know lots of styles just well enough, so you could be both adaptable and unpredictable.

Lee was Naruto's first and only friend his own age, as well as his first male friend in his own generation. As Benihime Naruto was friendly with the four other maiko in the Mitsusha okiya, but they were all older than him since Benihime was fifteen to his eleven. It was kind of weird being nee-san to little Momo-chan, who at thirteen was the youngest and shyest maiko. It also made it difficult for Naruto to socialise with girls his own age, as they were never as mature as he expected them to be.

The other boys were almost as bad. Other than Lee the taijutsu fanatic, the only only other one who seemed to be taking the whole ninja thing seriously was Hyuuga Neji, who was an A-class bastard and irritatingly fatalistic. Worse, he was a natural in the shinobi arts and effortlessly rose to the top of every single class. His doujutsu, the byakugan, and its associated taijutsu style made him impossible to beat in a spar, which he touted as evidence of his own genius.

_Genius my foot!_ Naruto knew better. Neji had been born with a natural advantage into a clan of people who had long ago worked out how to use it to greatest effect. None of Neji's admitted excellence was his own work; he was a diligent student, nothing more. Real genius lay in adapting what you had in order to prevail in any given situation. The byakugan was just a tool that made everything easier for him, when _real_ genius thrived upon difficulty.

It was amusing however that Neji's supposedly 'all seeing eyes' hadn't spotted that one the girls in their class had a crush on him. That she was the only truly serious aspiring kunoichi in the entire class just made it funnier.

Having been a minarai since he was six and a maiko from nine-and-a-half, Naruto knew more about sex, seduction and flirtation than most chunnin level kunoichi and could probably -in female guise- outmanoeuvre a decent proportion of Konoha's male journin. This translated into unmatched emotional awareness, which he hid very handily behind his idiot-loudmouth mask. He was still amazed that people actually _believed_ the mask. _Honestly, could anyone really be _that_ stupid? _Of course, sometimes he couldn't stop himself from commenting on what he saw, but it still got ignored or brushed off as good instincts rather than experience-based intensive study. He had been pigeon-holed -_even before becoming a ninja_- as a physical student with the brain of a stunned chicken and the emotional maturity of a six-year old. Naruto would have been more irritated at the slander of his person if he hadn't been milking the situation for all it was worth.

Hibana-nee-chan had warned him to never underestimate the power of assumptions and denial. She had once again been spot on; people didn't see what they didn't believe was there.

The exams at the end of his eleventh year were more a chore than anything else. He did averagely in the written, pretty well in the weapons and taijutsu but again failed miserably to pull off the bloody bunshin. Unfortunately his other scores were not high enough to compensate for that failure. Naruto sighed, congratulated Lee on scraping a pass and wished him luck with his journin-sensei before slouching home. _Why do they always test me on the bunshin? They're supposed to just pick one of the basic three and I'm really good at the other two._ It was probably because they knew he couldn't do it, Naruto concluded as he shut the door of his apartment behind him. They were failing him _on purpose_.

Next year he would have a different sensei, who just might be less irrationally prejudiced against him. Of course he'd also be in a class full of clan heirs and rabid fangirls, but he'd cope. If they failed him _again_ he really would call it quits and vanish, he decided. People actually liked Benihime, and having the occasional bowl of ramen with the Hokage was no match for the everyday joys of friendship and fun he experienced as a girl.

* * *

**Jutsu list**

genjutsu = illusory techniques. Alter the victim's perception of reality.

ninjutsu = shadow techniques. As a rule, these physically affect their surroundings.

taijutsu = body techniques. Mainly combat styles.

kinjutsu = forbidden techniques. Generally involve some form of damage to the ninja performing the jutsu, or are morally repugnant.

henge = transformation. Gives the ninja the appearance of a person or object of choice.

kawarimi = substitution. Allows the ninja to change places with an item (or person) of choice. Useful for escaping.

bunshin = clone/doppelganger. creates insubstantial copies of the ninja to distract or confuse an opponent.

shintai-bunshin = Usei's bunshin kinjutsu, also called flesh clone. Created a solid, flesh and blood clone which the ninja can use like a puppet. Does not disperse after being 'killed', allowing the ninja to fake people's deaths convincingly.

Tsukiyomi = Sharingan technique. Imprisons the victim in a 72 hour genjutsu controlled by the caster. Only possible if the caster has achieved Mangekyou. Generally used for torture.

kotai-henge = solid transformation. Naruto's name for his henge variant.

A/N:


	11. Itachi: Discovery

**Itachi: Discovery**

Itachi sat patiently in a dingy corner of the bar, waiting for Kisame to arrive. It was more than three years since he had become a nukenin and surreally, his life now was better than it had ever been before. Yes, he was supposedly working for a madman who followed the lead of a psychopath attempting to bring about the conquest of the entire planet, but he had a family who cared for him and a partner who watched his back, which was two up on how Konoha had been.

"Kisame's here."

Itachi glanced up as his _real_ partner whispered in his ear; while Hoshigaki Kisame had been assigned as his official partner by Leader-sama, Usei-sempai had tagged along with him into Akatsuki. Leaving behind a high-functioning shintai bunshin to look after the children with Minato-san she had modified her form, changed her name and stuck by him as he ventured into the lion's den. Leader-sama had only discovered her existence eight months before this particular mission -one in the eye to the self-proclaimed 'god'- by which point she had already befriended Kisame, Iwa no Deidara, Akasuna no Sasori, Konan and, weirdly, Zetsu. Itachi had no idea how or why, but both of the plant-human hybrid's personalities liked her tremendously. The Uchiha had the plants on his windowsill to prove it.

Itachi had learned a lot about Usei-sempai over the past few years, the most immediately important being that her kekkai genkai gave her what he privately termed 'almost multiple personalities'. They were all different versions of the same core personality, each with their own differing skills and backgrounds. Some of them were even male, which had been... awkward at times. Sempai called them personae, or when she was in a detached mood, pawns.

Her current persona was Amerei, the rain-ghost, and her character matched her name: She was transparent to the point of intangibility. Amerei's chakra also blended in with ambient levels so well she was undetectable even to his sharingan. She could make herself both visible and solid, but it was an effort that left her very vulnerable to attack. When visible her hair was white, hanging loosely over her face with the ends brushing her shoulders. Her skin was pale with the veins showing blue underneath, even the skin inside her mouth was bluish. Her eyes where blank black, the absence of the stars more troubling to Itachi than any of her other alterations.

She wore one of Itachi's Akatsuki cloaks with the signature red clouds, which was ridiculously overlarge on her fragile, child-sized frame, and never wore tabi or sandals.

Since she was small and so light she was practically insubstantial, Itachi didn't mind the fact she spent almost all of her time clinging to his back. Everyone in Akatsuki knew Amerei never walked anywhere. Instead she went everywhere with Itachi: ate, travelled, fought, washed, slept on her perch on his back.

Others were occasionally favoured with her presence, though it was rare. Fourteen months into her acquaintance with Kisame she had abruptly climbed onto him and let him carry her for two whole days before retreating back to Itachi. There had been random repeats of this behaviour every now and then. The shark-nin didn't seem to mind it at all; he apparently relished the fact that Amerei trusted him enough to fall asleep on him at night.

It was well known to everyone in Akatsuki that Amerei did not understand the concept of personal space, as Deidara discovered to his utter bemusement one morning when he woke up to find her curled around his chest. Nor did she pay the slightest bit of attention to the word 'no' or variations thereof unless Itachi said it, as Sasori had found out. He still had no idea how she'd managed to get hold of his Sandaime Kazekage puppet, let alone work it.

She didn't talk much either, but when she did it was always relevant and usually important, no matter how strange it sounded. She also spaced out a lot, but as far as quirks went, by Akatsuki standards she was fairly harmless.

Itachi called her 'sempai-chan', and had been designated by Leader-sama as her minder since she actually listened to him. Amerei was invulnerable to conventional attacks and an exceptional sensor, but her spaciness meant she couldn't become one of Akatsuki's inner circle. Her inability to pick up the membership rings settled her position as adjacent to the top ranks rather than within them. Thus she was now officially the third member of the Kisame and Itachi partnership rather than just unofficially.

"Hey, Itachi!" Kisame dumped the bottle of sake and two servings of dango on the table and folded himself into the booth. Itachi picked up a stick of dango and heped himself, Amerei stealing bits over his shoulder.

"Anything?" Itachi asked quietly.

"Target's gone; Some bastards killed him already," Kisame grumbled. "I hate missing a fight. Is there _anyone_ I can kill in this damned town without attracting too much attention?"

Amerei's head shot up, eyes unfocused as she stared into the middle distance towards the bar area.

"Sempai-chan?" Itachi murmured inquiringly.

"Konoha ninja, white lightning," She said, voice quiet yet clear enough for both nukenin to hear, "with eight Iwa-nin targeting him. They stole your prize-" she caught Kisame's eye, "-and won't be missed."

"What are we waiting for?" Kisame boomed, his good humour restored as he bounced out of his seat and fingered the handle of his infamous sword, Samehada. "I say we get some payback, a workout and maybe even pick up a few bounties!"

"Hurry," Amerei whispered as the former Kiri-nin muscled his way out of the bar, "The leaf-nin is special."

Itachi hurried after his blue-skinned partner, sharingan whirling and loosening his ninja-to in its sheath. "Special?" he asked.

"The world circles around him; his actions matter, his words have weight. The odd-eyed wolf-dog is necessary. Silver and blood; loss, sacrifice and sorrow," Amerei rambled, flickering in and out of sight in agitation. "outside and inside, through and through. Lost in yesterday and blind to tomorrow." She turned her eyes to meet his, stars igniting in her dilated pupils. "We _need_ him Tachi-chan. We are all together, but without him we will never be whole."

"I won't let Kisame kill him," Itachi promised, speeding up to a dead run towards the sounds of the fight.

* * *

A/N: Almost caught up to the beginning of canon, now. Review and I'll try to update faster...


	12. Kakashi: Confusion

**Kakashi: Confusion**

Being a ninja, Hatake Kakashi accepted that one day he would die. However, he would have preferred that day not be today. His mission was in shambles; the contact he was supposed to be retrieving a scroll from had been killed by Iwa-nin shortly before he arrived at the contact point. Said Iwa-nin were now doing there best to ensure he joined the man in the afterlife. Kakashi was an elite journin, but eight against one was excessive even by his standards. That three of the eight were journin made it worse.

The kicker, however, was that the lead Iwa journin turned out -against all the odds- to be wind natured. To Sharingan no Kakashi, whose lightning affinity -strong against earth, weak against wind- was infamous, it was a match made by vengeful kami in the lowest circle of hell. He had managed to kill two of the chunnin, critically injure a third and seriously maim the second strongest journin when the battlefield was blasted by a tidal wave, sweeping everyone off their feet.

A wounded Kakashi staggered upright in the aftermath of the overpowered suiton justu -it couldn't be anything else this far from a notable water source- gripping a kunai in his fist and fighting off blood loss and the fatigue of keeping his sharingan active for so long. He had just got his bearings and located his adversaries when Hoshigaki Kisame, nukenin and former member of the Seven Swordsmen in the Mist, charged into the fray, bellowing in fierce berserker joy and swinging his sword, Samehada, with gleeful abandon.

The surviving chunnin fell like ninepins and the maimed journin had his head bludgeoned clean off in that first, bloody charge. The lead journin turned to run while his last surviving associate tried futilely to hold off the gigantic, blue-skinned swordsman, but the wind user found himself staring into the triple tomoed sharingan eyes of Uchiha Itachi. Caught in a genjutsu, the Iwa-nin never had a chance.

Leaving Kisame to toy with his prey, the nukenin advanced on the the injured Konoha journin. Kakashi's last thought before the world went black was, _I am so screwed this time_.

* * *

All things considered, Kakashi had not really expected to wake up. Even if Itachi had, for some insane reason, decided to keep him alive for interrogation purposes, the bed he was lying in was entirely anomalous. As was the lack of restraints. Of course, wounds and borderline chakra exhaustion ensured that he couldn't move far even if he wanted to, but still.

A noise to his right prompted him to turn his head in search of its source, profoundly greatful that his captors had left his mask on and pulled his hitai-ite down over his sharingan.

Hoshigaki Kisame, the 'Monster in the Mist', blue skinned and blue haired with gills and pointy teeth, was lounging on the floor by the bedroom door and cleaning blood off his scaled sword with steady, repetitive movements. Again, somewhat in line with imprisonment etiquette; the captive must be guarded, after all. Said guard is however usually on the other side of the door from the prisoner. Kakashi cleared his throat:

"Yo."

Kisame glanced up at him, then went back to cleaning the blood off his blade. "About time you woke up; sempai-chibi was fretting."

"Sempai... chibi?" This was surreal. _Is it a genjutsu of some kind? Interrogation through mental confusion?_

"Hai. Nice girl; not all there in the head though. Seems to think you're important." The shark-nin narrowed his eyes at Kakashi, right hand caressing Samehada's hilt: "Hurt her in any way, shape or form and I'll rip you apart."

_It sounds like Hoshigaki Kisame has a crush_, Kakashi thought hazily. _Hoshigaki Kisame, rogue member of the seven swordsmen, Monster in the Mist, has a crush on a girl he calls 'Sempai-chibi'. _It was like finding out Orochimaru of the Sannin had a pet rabbit called Fluffy.

Mutant scaled bunnies danced in his mind's eye as he reviewed his situation:

His wounds had been cleaned, bandaged and partially healed, and he still had his mask and hitai-ite. Unfortunately, that was _all_ he had on other than his boxers. He was suffering from borderline chakra exhaustion, lying in a bed in a small room with infamous Kiri nukenin Hoshigaki Kisame, who incidentally was wearing a black cloak with a red cloud pattern. Said nukenin had also rescued him from Iwa nin alongside former Konoha-nin Uchiha Itachi. _I think my life took a left turn into crazy-town while I was out._

The room's only door opened, revealing Itachi wearing a cloak that matched Kisame's and carrying a tray. The Uchiha placed the tray beside the bed, eyeing Kakashi carefully. Kakashi stared back, still unsure whether or not this was a new kind of genjutsu, or possibly a fever-induced delirium dream.

"Can you sit up, Hatake-san?" Itachi inquired neutrally.

With a bit of effort the silver-haired shinobi levered himself into a sitting position, propping his back up against the pillows. The Uchiha handed him a bowl of oden and a set of chopsticks, then slipped deftly out of range.

Kakashi decided to eat the food. The situation was so unbelievable his instincts had short-circuited. He was able to take his time, as Kisame only had eyes for Samehada and Itachi seemed to find the ceiling oddly fascinating. The silence, broken only by the swish of the leather cleaning cloth and the clicking of chopsticks, was awkwardly opressive.

His meal finished, Kakashi put both bowl and chopsticks back on the tray and turned to watch Itachi, who seemed to be the person in charge. _Unless 'sempai-chibi, who I haven't seen yet, is_.

The Uchiha slid the tray away from the bed and carried it over to the door, gently nudging Kisame's ribs with his foot as he did so.

"Give Sempai-chan some privacy. You can ask your questions later."

"Who's Sempai-chan?" Kakashi asked. There were only three people in the cramped room, all of them male.

"Me," said a soft, feminine voice far too close to his left ear. Kakashi spun his head around so fast he almost cricked his neck, then retreated as far as he could into the cushions supporting his back, heart thumping and adrenaline pumping, wishing he had his armoured journin vest on instead of just a few layers of bandages.

There was a girl in an oversized cloak that matched the two nukenin kneeling on his lap, the top of her bowed head scant inches from his face. He hadn't sensed her at all. _The __hell__..?_

Itachi bowed politely to the apparition as Kisame grudgingly rose to his feet. "I leave him to you, Sempai. Please inform me of your decisions once you have determined an appropriate course of action," the Uchiha murmured, pushing Kisame out of the door and closing it behind them.

Kakashi hadn't taken his eye off the girl in his lap for so much as an instant. She still wasn't there to his chakra sense and by the feel of his legs she had nowhere near enough mass to be real. He gingerly put his hands together in the ram seal:

"Kai." Nothing happened. Not even the slightest ripple.

"I'm real," the girl whispered, lifting her head to reveal star-spangled darkness where most people had eyeballs, peeking cutely through untidy white bangs. Her mass increased abruptly and she sunk into his lap, knees sliding apart to settle around his thighs. She looked larger, though still fairly petite and fragile. Under his fascinated gaze her hair darkened to caramel and lengthened until the ends trailed past her hips onto the blanket. Colour bloomed in her face, making her look so much more alive as his ears caught a soft, rapid heartbeat and the scent of her skin teased his nose.

"How on _earth_ is that possible?" Kakashi asked faintly. He could even sense her chakra now, thick, heavy and slightly sweet with an undertone of midnight breeze.

"I am a wind master," she said simply, as if it answered his question. Perhaps it did.

"What's going on?" _Might as well ask._ "It's not every day a person gets rescued by nukenin."

The girl stared into his eye. "You are Hatake Kakashi, Sharingan no Kakashi, Copy-nin and son of the Konoha no Shiroi Kiba." A fingertip caressed the thin line of skin between the bottom of his hitai-ite and the upper edge of his mask. "You stand still and the world moves around you." She laced the slender fingers of her left hand into the stronger, longer fingers of his right. "I have many names, many faces, many duties and more memories than any mind should hold. Will you see me?"

Kakashi knew that there was more to the request than met the eye, but having a lapful of pretty girl teasing him with gentle caresses made it hard to concentrate. _Besides, she doesn't seem to mean me any harm. If anything, the vibe I'm getting is rather like the one you get off front line ANBU medics; someone for whom healing is as necessary as breathing, yet has seen so much death and pain they damaged something inside themselves that no amount of medical ninjutsu can fix_. He felt like that himself most days, except he was a killer through and through rather than a healer.

"I'll see you," he agreed quietly, tracing her jawline with his free hand. Her shivery reaction was very gratifying to his ego.

The still unnamed girl pushed up his hitai-ite, caught his left hand in her right and met his eyes squarely. "I am Genseisen Amemaihana, Rikugou Yogensha and heir to the Sanjuu Shikaku kekkai genkai;" she said clearly, her chakra reaching out to envelop him in its embrace, "See me."

Kakashi felt himself fall into the starry void, but was unable to prevent it. He saw.

He saw a toddler, a little girl, sentenced to death because her kekkai genkai made her a threat.

He saw a sixteen year old boy abandon family, love and duty to save the child's life.

He saw a tall man with curly hair and eight mismatched swords strapped to his back, hilts in a fan-like array.

Watched a perfectly coiffed geisha serve tea to the fire daimyo.

Witnessed the bloodline massacres of Mizu no kuni, where despite everything she could never rescue more than a handful of children at a time.

Felt the world bend around him, past, present and possible futures all clamouring for attention.

Then the world twisted and stilled, and he saw himself on the battlefield against the Iwa ninja, pale and wounded. The clarity and silence of that instance shook him to the core as he realised _why_ Amemaihana had so desperately wanted him to 'see' her.

In a world of confusion and clamour, he was a fixed point of silence and peace. The eye of the storm.

Then the pain started.

Being overlooked by his father in favour of never-ending missions and other ninja duties.

Coming home one night to find his father dead by his own blade in a pool of drying blood.

Obito arguing with him.

Obito half-buried under a rockfall.

Rin.

Minato-sensei collapsing like a puppet with the strings cut as the Kyuubi no Yoko dissolved into nothingness.

The bodies of ANBU comrades, a dozen different masks, like broken dolls on ground dyed red with their blood.

If Kakashi had been able to find his voice he would have screamed himself hoarse. The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced. Then cool relief washed over him and the pain faded away to almost nothing, the twinge of an old scar rather than the burn of an open wound.

Reality rushed back and Kakashi blinked dizzily. For the first time he could remember -quite possibly _ever_- he didn't feel a knotted ache in his heart. He felt whole. _No, more than whole: complete_. He pulled his hitai-ite down over his -_not Obito's anymore but mine, he gave it to me_- sharingan eye and looked down at the pretty girl in his lap, who had slumped forward once he had broken eye contact, her forehead resting against his shoulder.

_Genseisen Amemaihana, Rikugou Yogensha. Ame-chan; geisha, seal expert, wind mistress, genjutsu specialist, healer and seer._ He knew her better than he'd ever known anyone, maybe even himself, and she'd healed the wounds in his heart and soul.

Ame-chan?" He stroked the back of her head tenderly. She looked up at him, bleary-eyed with exertion.

"Hai, Kashi-kun?"

Kakashi yanked his mask down in one swift, deliberate movement, firmly gripped the nape of her neck and pulled her into a kiss. The feel of her lips against his set his nerves afire and he pulled her closer, exploring the inside of her mouth with his tongue. He could feel her heart pounding in time with his as one of her hands tangled in his hair and the other caressed down his spine, the bandages where wounds had been the only thing between his skin and her teasing fingertips.

He had barely started investigating her figure through the oversized coat she wore when a wave of dizzy exhaustion collapsed him back into the pillows.

"Kashi-kun?" Ame asked anxiously, leaning over him and stroking his shoulder.

Kakashi chuckled weakly. "You know, I'd completely forgotten I had chakra exhaustion. Here I am with a beautiful woman in my lap and I haven't the energy to do anything about it."

Ame blushed pinkly. "Ano, Kashi-kun, would you mind my staying with you while you sleep?"

Ame liked touching and holding onto people, Kakashi remembered from his little mental trip. It helped her keep track of who, where and when she was. "Of course you can;" he paused thoughtfully, "What are you wearing under that cloak, anyway?"

Ame blinked blankly. "Underneath?"

Kakashi closed his eye and took several deep, calming breaths. "I hate, hate, _hate_ chakra exhaustion," he said evenly, glaring as Ame giggled behind her hand. "Just one question, though Ame-chan: Why?" _Why me? Why do it at all?_

Ame paused thoughtfully. "My kekkai genkai, the sanjuu shukaku, triple vision that opens my mind to past, present and futures turns me into a boat on a stormy sea without anchor, rudder or any means of charting my course. To compensate for this directionlessness, when we meet our soul-mate, our one perfect counter, we know them instantly. There is no-one else like you to me. You give me peace and clarity, let me be myself rather than just a shell gifted with an overwhelming kekkai genkai. I had not even realised how lost I was until I found you." She snuggled against him under the blanket.

"I love you Kakashi, not just for that but because I've seen you, past and present, flaws and all, and you are so beautiful inside my heart yearns for you."

Kakashi couldn't help blushing at her extravagant complements. "I've seen you too, Ame-chan, and I'll admit I am _seriously_ attracted, but beyond that, well... give me a little time, please?"

"I've found you now. I can wait a little longer for certainty," she said simply, resting her head against his chest as her body went lax. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her and closed his eye, praying his strength would be sufficiently recovered by the next morning to show Ame-chan _exactly_ how attracted he was to her.

* * *

A/N: Here it is; the promised romance. I really like Kakashi, so I decided he'd be the one to get the girl. Plus, he really does balance her out. Of course the in-laws may give him a little trouble, but what is life without risk?


	13. Kakashi: Choice

**Kakashi: Choice**

Ten days after his run-in with vengeful Iwa ninja Kakashi stood in the Hokage's office, waiting patiently for the Sandaime to ask him probing questions about his severely edited report. He'd spent a week with Ame, exploring their relationship both verbally and physically.

While Ame was completely at ease with her total commitment to him, Kakashi was still skittish. He'd never been in love before, never previously been aware that an emotion could be so all-consuming. It frightened him like nothing in his ninja career to date ever had. So at the end of the week he'd asked for more time. Ame had agreed that Kakashi had to get back to Konoha and promised to give him space to get his thoughts in order and get used to his newly healed soul. She also gave him the address of an okiya in River country that would forward any messages to her, if he wanted to write a letter.

"I'll manage for four months before the edges really blur," she'd said with a smile that had made Kakashi's heart hurt. "Hopefully you'll have decided how you feel about things by then."

Despite it only being three days since he'd left her, the copy-nin missed her already. Both physically -she'd featured heavily in his dreams the past two nights- and emotionally: he hadn't realised how soothing it was to have someone who just listened to you, held you and was just _there_ for you.

Which lead him back to the present, hiding behind his Icha Icha while Sandaime read his butchered, borderline-treasonous-in-what-it-failed-to-mention report. He had mentioned Itachi and Kisame, but only as the people who had wiped out the Rock ninja trying to kill him. Kisame had said in passing that they'd killed his target, so Kakashi had used that as a possibility to rationalise his survival.

"So Itachi just ignored you?" the Sandaime asked.

"left me to die, more like. He probably didn't expect me to survive my wounds so far from home," Kakashi replied, eyes never leaving his book. Sadly his Icha Icha turned out to be an unsatisfactory substitute for the real thing. His mind wandered towards Ame every single paragraph, especially in the racier sections.

"So this healer patched you up."

"No idea who she was. White hair, black eyes, oversized black cloak with red clouds that matched Itachi and Kisame. Tiny thing; said she was paying a debt to Konoha."

Ame had mentioned a Konoha shinobi who had knocked out a would-be-rapist harassing her almost six months earlier. Of course, had the idiot actually got around to trying anything she would have slaughtered him, but the chunnin hadn't known that.

Izumo mentioned encountering a girl of that description a while ago in Waterfall country," the Hokage confirmed, cementing Kakashi's suspicions that those cloaks with the red clouds were significant. Why else would the Sandaime have remembered an otherwise irrelevant footnote in a routine chunnin report?

"Interesting how she felt the debt was owed to Konoha in general rather to Izumo personally," the Hokage mused, chewing on his pipe.

"I asked. She said, and I quote, 'ninja carry out the will of their Kage and village, for loyalty and allegiance are absolute. Only nukenin have the independence to incur personal debts'," Kakaski said blandly. Ame _had_ said that, too. She'd also said she was tied to Hatake Kakashi, human being, rather than Sharingan no Kakashi, copy-nin. His allegiances and career only mattered to her if they mattered to him.

"I see. Go to the hospital for a check up on how the wounds are healing and take tomorrow off."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Kakashi saluted and left.

* * *

The next month was trying. He felt twitchy and restless to the point of accepting extra challenges from Gai, which led to spending less time at the memorial stone. He still walked around with his nose in Icha Icha, but that was more out of habit than actual enjoyment.

The restlessness gradually passed, leaving hollow listlessness in its wake. In the next two months he was more late more often and spaced out regularly. The other journin and tokubetsu journin came to really hate his 'hm? Did you say something?' which previously only Gai had been exposed to.

The fourth month of his separation from his Ame-chan began with miserable, rainy squalls blasted into Konoha by unseasonably cold winds. Kakashi arrived back at his one room apartment one evening, let himself in and almost had a heart attack.

Uchiha Itachi, S-class nukenin, was leaning against his kitchen counter, sipping tea.

"This is a personal visit, Kakashi-san," Itachi said calmly before Kakashi could flare his chakra or throw a kunai. The nukenin had removed his cloud-patterned cloak, kasa hat and hitai-ite with the scratched out leaf symbol, leaving them piled on the bed that took up a good portion of the room's floor. "I am here for Sempai-chan."

"She sent _you_?" kakashi asked incredulously. _Who sends a nukenin into his home village to deliver a message?_

"Iie. She agreed to leave you alone for four months unless requested otherwise and she will hold herself for that. I am here because Kisame lacks the restraint to talk to you about it without dismembering you and we agreed you needed to know _before_ we started on the grievous bodily harm."

Kakashi realised with a chill that Itachi was angry. The calm, precise movements and quiet voice were a thin façade over a perfectly controlled pit of seething fury. Not one ounce of KI was being leaked.

"What do I need to know?" he asked carefully, horribly aware of being completely outclassed by an S-class nukenin ten years his junior. A very _angry_ S-class nukenin.

"Sempai-chan is _pregnant_. With _triplets_." Itachi enunciated.

Kakashi felt his mind short out in shock. _Ame-chan was pregnant? He was a father? Of _triplets_?_

"she is three months into the pregnancy, just starting to show," Itachi continued as if he hadn't just dealt Kakashi the shock of a lifetime. "I, Kisame and others wish to know your intentions. Most of those others are also nukenin, mostly A and S-class shinobi," he added musingly; "Sempai-chan is very well liked."

Kakashi briefly contemplated being hunted down by angry S-class ninja and shivered.

"So, Kakashi-san, what do you intend to do?"

"I want to marry her," Kakashi heard himself say.

"Oh?" Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Very much aware that his life was on the line here, Kakashi picked his words carefully:

"I've missed her terribly. It's not home here without her. I think... no, I _know_ I love her. I don't want to be apart from her like this ever again."

Itachi met his eye stare for stare, sharingan whirling slowly. "I believe you," he said mildly, "but where is your pregnant fiancée going to live? Bearing in mind she had a very large family already that she won't want to leave behind."

Ame had told Kakashi about the orphans she looked after, all survivors of clan massacres, turf wars and similar localised purges. The ones she cared for personally lived somewhere in River country; at least twelve of them, from what she had told him.

"The Hatake house isn't big enough, but the grounds it's built on are large enough for a bigger one..." he trailed off. When had he decided he wanted her to move here permanently? He hadn't thought about his father's house in years. He suspected some part of his mind had decided he wasn't going to let Ame-chan get away again at some point in the first week apart, and had been plotting surreptitiously ever since.

"Sempai can sort out the house; she can do more with seals than should even be possible," Itachi said, demeanour suddenly warmer and almost friendly. "Write a letter of invitation to her for me to take to her and she will be here in just under a week, escorted of course."

"Who's the escort?" Kakashi asked cautiously, the threat of _extremely concerned_ nukenin still fresh in his mind.

"His name is Zetsu. He has green hair and is originally from Kusa. The left side of his body is white while the right side is black and the two sides talk to each-other," Itachi told him.

"O-kay." Kakashi watched warily as Itachi shrugged on his cloak, tied his hitai-ite around his forehead and put on the kasa hat.

"Oh, and Kakashi? Goodnight." Kakashi's world spiralled away in swirling black tomoe as he heard the distant thud of his body hitting the floor.

* * *

**Ninja villages and Allegiance **

hitai-ite = a metal plate, generally worn on a headband, etched with the symbol of the village the wearer is aligned to. Nukenin scratch through this symbol to denote their independence

Konhagakure = hidden leaf in the land of fire (Hi no kuni). Symbol is a leaf containing a spiral design

Iwagakure = hidden rock in the land of earth (Tsuchi no kuni). Symbol is two overlapping rocks

Kirigakure = hidden mist, nickname 'the bloody mist' in the land of water (Mizu no kuni). Symbol is four wavy lines, indicating mist

Kumogakure = hidden cloud in the land of lightning (Rai no kuni). Symbol is three clouds, two of them connected

Sunagakure = hidden sand in the land of wind (Kaze no kuni). Symbol is an hourglass/sand limer with a horizontal line over the top

The above are all major villages, each ruled by a Kage. The other ninja villages are much smaller, as are the countries they are located in.

Kusagakure = hidden grass in Kusa no kuni. Symbol is three spikes, indicating grass blades

Amegakure = hidden rain in Ame no kuni. Symbol is four vertical lines, indicating rainfall

Takigakure = hidden waterfall in Taki no kuni. Symbol is the outline of a downward pointing arrow, indicating a waterfall

There are other small hidden villages, but these are the the main ones.

nukenin = missing ninja; one who has broken his allegience to his home village.

A/N: Poor Kakashi. Getting into sticky situations before he's even met Naruto. At least he won't be bored.


	14. Naruto: Revelations

**Naruto: Revelations**

Naruto was actually enjoying his final year at the academy. His new sensei didn't have a serious grudge against him and a couple of the clan kids played truant with him now and then. Inuzuka Kiba even joined in with a couple of his pranks. His main problem was Iruka-sensei's uncanny ability to track him whenever he wasn't in kotai-henge. This cut in on his time at the Mitsusha, forcing him to only work in the evenings. Interestingly, Iruka-sensei was somewhat sympathetic after pranks, so Naruto began working on some more outrageous ones. He'd promised the dead Uchiha chunnin he'd do a big one at the end of this year, but he had to work up to it so it would be a proper finale.

His classmates were sort-of okay; at least the boys were. All save one of his female classmates were fangirls chasing after Uchiha Sasuke, the survivor Hibana-nee had told him about. Naruto could almost see the pain and anger condensing around the silent boy.

Sasuke was a very good student whose accomplishments were aided by all the various sensei's eagerness to help 'the last Uchiha'. Naruto was a little envious of that helpfulness, but was very, very glad not to be the target of fangirls like the Uchiha had.

Fangirls were a plague, Naruto decided very early on; a squealing, fluttering horde of obsessive social butterflies completely unsuited to the shinobi lifestyle. Only one of them, the Yamanaka, actually worked hard enough to eventually graduate. And even she dieted. Haruno Sakura might also make it, since she competed with Yamanaka Ino with a frighteningly obsessive zealotry.

The only non-fangirl in the class was Hyuuga Hinata, who was cripplingly shy. She also had a crush on Naruto and stalked him after school hours, making it even harder for him to get to the okiya without being followed.

Naruto acted oblivious for two reasons. The first was to remain in character; the idiot he pretended to be would completely overlook someone as shy as Hinata. Secondly, he felt that the person she admired so much did not really exist. He was a mask the real Naruto wore; no more real than a character in a book or a play.

He did wear the goggles she left him anonymously on his birthday, though.

Oddly enough, his favourite classmate was the antisocial Uchiha. Sasuke clearly hadn't a clue how to be friendly and had suffered too much to risk opening up to his peers. Naruto had talked to Hibana-nee about it and she had recommended he offer Sasuke whatever support he thought the younger boy would accept. With this in mind Naruto proclaimed himself the Uchiha's rival.

While still extremely poor at any kind of written work, Naruto was in the upper echelons of the class in weapons and taijutsu. This enabled him to physically challenge Sasuke almost every outdoor lesson. Despite openly putting him down as the 'dobe' or dead-last, Naruto could tell that Sasuke genuinely enjoyed their spars. The fact that Naruto put up a solid fight before losing probably helped, and the younger boy seemed to find his outbursts about how 'next time I will prevail!' amusing.

It was in an attempt to fan that spark of black humour in the classroom that Naruto set his eyes on Haruno Sakura, Sasuke's most rabid and hated fangirl. While physically the weakest of the potential graduates, her high intelligence and perfect memory pulled her grades up into the pass zone.

Naruto was _positive_ his supposed infatuation with the pink haired banshee was a product of temporary insanity. It had overtaken him one afternoon when he was contemplating Sasuke's hate relationship with his fangirls. He had wondered if the Uchiha would find their antics more amusing as an observer rather than a participant. By the end of the school day the thought had contaminated his entire decision-making process, and as soon as class was over he bounced cheerfully over to Sakura and loudly asked her for a date. The look on her face had been hilarious; her acid screech of refusal and punch to his head less so. But Naruto had seen _Sasuke's_ reaction from the corner of his eye and it had been perfect: Sasuke did indeed find the idea of his most irritating fangirl having a fanboy of her very own darkly humorous.

Encouraged, Naruto persisted doggedly. The cheerful imperviousness that was the basis of his idiot-persona was used to optimum effect and as a result of his persistence Sakura was forced to dial back her pursuit of the last Uchiha. This of course did nothing for his chances of actually _getting_ a date, but since he didn't want one that wasn't an issue. Sasuke found him amusing and enjoyed fighting him, so he felt he was improving the quality of life of a fellow orphan. Plus he felt he sort of owed it to those dead Uchiha chunnin who'd been nice to him to keep an eye on their clan heir for them. If he ever met the bastard who'd killed them off and hurt Sasuke he'd prank the hell out of them, Uzumaki style!

The only other person of note in Naruto's class was Nara Shikamaru. The boy was scary smart and definitely had suspicions about Naruto's idiot-persona. He was however too lazy to investigate whether his suspicions had merit. Naruto was clearly too 'troublesome' for Shikamaru to deal with. The blond didn't mind either way; Shikamaru was probably the only person in his class he'd feel comfortable sharing his secret with anyway, seeing as the boy was smart enough to understand and respect his motives.

At the okiya his time was far more productive. As a maiko with a well-known onee-san Benihime was earning a steady income, which went towards paying her debts to the Mitsusha. She attended civilian gatherings, entertained in tea houses, played her shamisen or danced while Hibana-nee interacted with her clients. Sometimes she served tea or sake while Hibana-nee danced. Benihime had even attended a party hosted in Konoha by the Fire daimyo at new year, where she had made witty conversation with some samurai she found shifting uneasily in their formal clothes at the edge of the throng. She'd made some deprecating jokes about geisha and ninja, praised their bravery and honour and received enough money by the end of the night to halve her remaining debt to Himitsu-okaa-san.

But four days after the new year, Naruto's life took a left turn.

* * *

He arrived at the okiya after an early dinner -as usual- changed into his Benihime kotai-henge and dressed for the evening, but instead of being given a commission was instructed by the minarai on secretary duty to wait for 'Hibana-san' in one of the secondary suites. Nervousness compounded when Momo-chan served tea and retired behind a screen to play shamisen. Benihime had never been treated like a client before and wasn't sure what to do. Hibana-nee's arrival, in full formal garb, was both a worry and a relief. "Hime-chan," Hibana-nee said after Momo-chan served another round of tea and left the room, "I need to talk to Naruto-kun."

Naruto released his henge, revealing grey hakama bandaged at the ankles and a short kimono top in the same colour. His blonde hair was worn fairly short, so it stuck up all over the place. He was still not very tall -and was shorter than most of his classmates- but looked far less skinny and malnourished than he had at six.

"Good. Now Naruto, a lot of what I have to say will shock you and some you will probably find distressing. Please express these emotions, as no matter what I love you like a brother and will never reject you. Understood?"

Naruto steeled himself for the worst. "Hai."

"Arigatou. Naruto, I am not a real person. I am a bunshin, a special type of flesh and blood bunshin with the independence to look after itself without its maker needing to be in the vicinity. My thoughts, memories and emotions are all copied from my maker."

Naruto's bottom lip trembled and his eyes filled with tears. "You don't exist, nee-chan? But-but-" he sniffled, unable to go on without breaking down completely.

Hibana-nee swooped around the table and hugged him close. "I love you dearly, my Naru-chan, and so does my maker. Every night before I go to sleep I share my day's memories with her, so she knows you and loves you just as much as I do; or I love you because she does, seeing as she is who I am copied from. You are family, Naruto, otouto and henge-imouto both."

Naruto clung to his bunshin-nee-san tightly and sobbed his shock and relief away, wiping his eyes on the clean hanky she offered him.

"W-why are you telling me now?" he eventually managed to ask.

"Ah," Hibana-bunshin looked embarrassed. "The original managed to get pregnant by a Konoha shinobi, and will be coming here in a few months. She needs me to see to things elsewhere, since she will be based in the village for the foreseeable future and able to take over my various responsibilities here. You being the most important of those," she said, flicking his nose playfully, "Can't have our otouto being left to fend for himself, can we? Onna-bozu has a really _huge_ adopted family, so you can be Naru-ji-chan and Hime-ba-chan to the chibi."

"Family?" Naruto breathed, hardly believing his ears.

"Of course! She won't be here for about another four months, however," Hibana-bunshin explained. "You'll manage, won't you? Takemaru is here is you need guy-talk and Himitsu-okaa-san will offer you assistance in anything okiya related. Between you and me, I think she wants Benihime as her atotori."

"Wow," Naruto breathed reverently. "I'll behave for her, I promise!"

"Now for the formal bit," Hibana said, resettling herself across the table from Naruto, face becoming blank and serious. "Since the daimyo's new year's party people have been asking for Benihime personally, and both I and Himitsu-okaa-san feel you have learned everything we can teach you. Are you ready to end your apprenticeship and become a full geisha after your six years of formal training?"

Naruto stared, blinked, opened and closed his mouth twice before stuttering "H-hai!"

"In that case, as your onee-san it is my duty to see that Benihime is suitably initiated in sex," Hibana-bunshin said firmly. "Take note Naru-kun that this is _only_ girl sex, as while Benihime is physically sixteen and old enough to enjoy it, your male body won't be mature enough for a few more years yet. I'm sure you've noticed the pleasant tingly feelings Benihime gets around certain people?"

Naruto blushed deeply. "Hai, nee-san," he whispered, "some of the ladies at the party and two of the samurai made me feel strange like that."

"Good; your girl-form is definitely ready, then. I'll give you the full talk, then show you what the fuss is all about. The original has been experimenting with your kotai-henge and has found a way for girls to physically transform into boys, so I can teach Benihime what to do with men as well since I suspected you'd feel uncomfortable having sex with Takemaru."

"Arigatou, Nee-san," Naruto said gratefully. He'd spent most of his time with Take-nii as a boy, so sleeping with him as a girl would probably feel really strange.

"you're welcome. Now change back into Benihime and I'll start."

* * *

Naruto was _very_ late arriving at the academy the next morning, could not concentrate at all and blushed randomly throughout the day. Iruka found the speculative way his most unpredictable student was eyeing him _extremely_ uncomfortable, and was grateful when Naruto's behaviour returned to normal later on in the week.

* * *

This was also a defining moment in the creation and establishment of Uzumaki Naruto's brain-breaking attitude to sex and sexuality, which would later be the cause of much confusion, repression, mental trauma for enemies and allies alike, as well as an eventual bingo-book warning.

* * *

**Relationships**

oji-san = uncle

oba-san = aunt

ojii-san/jiji = granfather/gramps/old man

obaa-san/baa-chan = grandmother/granny/old lady

note: atotori = heir/successor to the okaa-san of an okiya

A/N: Behold! The madness begins! Note to all you people objecting that Naruto is only twelve: his kotai henge turns him into a flesh-and-blood sixteen-year-old, brain development included. He's been that older, more mature girl for half of the last three years (hence Hime's getting hot and bothered over people) so when in girl-form he **is** old enough. Besides: my story, my rules.


	15. Kakashi: Anticipation

This up early and dedicated to Bad Habits, my very first reviewer! Thank-you Bad Habits!

**Kakashi: Anticipation**

The emotion he was currently experiencing, Kakashi told himself firmly, was _not_ panic. It was... concern. Yes, concern. Possibly a little worry as well. He'd gone through his bingo book collection and found Zetsu, who had turned out to be a cannibalistic S-class nukenin with a multiple personality disorder. He was also an espionage and assassination specialist, indicating that even if anyone in Konoha was idiotic enough to try and detain him he would probably escape without difficulty.

In order to avoid obsessing too much Kakashi had cleaned his tiny apartment, chucked out a lot of junk and rented the apartment next door to store whatever he did not consider a basic necessity so he could fit his girlfriend into his place until the house was ready. Most of his Icha Icha ended up in a box. He would put away all of it, but decided at the last minutes that he wanted to keep up appearances. He hadn't mentioned his pregnant, soon-to-be fiancée to anyone yet,not having the faintest idea how to broach the subject. 'I met this girl, got her pregnant and realised I was in love, so I'm going to marry her', perhaps? Or would he have to explain about her kekkai genkai and how she healed him? She was technically a civilian despite her mastery of more shinobi arts than most kages, so the hokage trying to recruit her was a possibility.

Of course, the prospect of a new kekkai genkai would prompt a warm welcome among the more calculating members of Konohagakure's ruling elite, but Kakashi was dreading the fact that once his children were actually born he'd be expected to take up the Hatake clan seat on the clan council. _Maybe I could delegate it to Ame-chan? She'd terrify them into submission in under a week, easy._

He had no idea what to do to the house, either. Since Itachi had said Ame-koi could deal with the house Kakashi limited himself to boxing up everything portable and moving it into the spare apartment. This had attracted unwelcome attention -and a challenge from Gai to 'stack boxes most efficiently' which he had taken ruthless advantage of- but most people assumed he had finally got around to selling the place.

The day before Ame was due to arrive, Kakashi turned up on time for his requested meeting with the hokage, signature orange book conspicuously absent. After a quiet "Kai" by the ANBU on guard -maybe he should be on time more often, if this was the reaction he got?- he was allowed into the office.

The Sandaime was smoking his pipe behind what was probably a desk under all that paperwork. "Kakashi? What brings you here in such an unexpectedly timely manner?"

"Maa," Kakashi scratched his head, "this is awkward."

Sarutobi Hiruzen, nicknamed 'the professor' and 'Shinobi no Kami', looked intregued. "Really? Do tell."

_Important bit first._ "well, on that mission I failed three months ago I met this girl."

"Oh?" The hokage raised an eyebrow.

"A civilian," _technically_ "though she's got a very strange kekkai genkai. One thing kind of led to another, I fell in love and just recently found out I got her pregnant."

"Wait..." Sarutobi lowered his pipe, staring. "You, Hatake Kakashi, have fallen in love? I never thought I'd see the day. Congratulations. When is the baby due?"

"Babies, hokage-sama. She's expecting triplets."

The Sandaime actually dropped his pipe onto the paperwork, scattering half-burnt tobacco everywhere. "My word. You don't do things by halves do you Kakashi? When do I get to meet the doubtless charming young lady who has snared you?"

"Hopefully tomorrow, hokage-sama. But, ano, the person escorting her to Konoha is an S-class nukenin. Apparently he's a friend of hers." Kakashi cringed slightly, hoping this next bit wouldn't go _too _badly.

"Hatake Kakashi," the hokage said, getting to his feet and walking around the paperwork monument so he was standing right in front of the silver haired journin, "your _civilian_ girlfriend is friends with an _S-class nukenin?_"

Kakashi closed his eye hopelessly. "Several S-class nukenin, from what I was told hokage-sama. They aren't very happy with my being involved with her. Dismemberment was mentioned."

"I suppose irate and overprotective family members are a universal constant when dealing with young women," Sarutobi muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you at least know _which_ S-class nukenin is escorting her here?"

"Zetsu, formerly of Kusagakure. He's supposedly some sort of plant hybrid."

"Wonderful. I'll write a memo to the gate guards so they know not to interfere. Should I also be expecting an influx of other angry S-class shinobi trying to kill you? And how did you receive this information?"

The one question he didn't want to answer. "Well, funny you should ask that..."

"Kakashi..."

"I found Uchiha Itachi in my apartment when I got home last week." The copy-nin waited for the axe to fall.

There was a very heavy pause. Kakashi briefly wondered if the red-clouds people were recruiting.

"I take it there was more to that failed mission than you reported, journin Hatake?"

Kakashi hung his head. This was going to be a very long and uncomfortable meeting.

–

The next morning Konoha shinobi were shocked dumb at the sight of Hatake Kakashi, journin considered most likely to be late for his own funeral, lounging against the gatepost of the front entrance to the village shortly after dawn. As the sun climbed towards noon the chunnin on guard duty gradually became aware of how twitchy the cyclopic journin was getting. Kakashi looked like he was expecting to be ambushed by a four man Kumo ANBU squad and was hiding it very badly.

Hagane Kotetsu signalled discreetly to his partner Izumo before wandering over to the copy-nin, taking care to make enough noise to avoid getting accidentally stabbed.

"Hey, Kakashi! What brings you out here today?"

Kakashi's lone eye, which was compulsively scanning the faces of passers-by from behind his orange book, briefly glanced at the chunnin before returning to surveillance. "Kotetsu. I'm waiting for some people."

"You expecting them to jump out from behind a tree?" the chunnin asked. "I haven't seen you this jumpy since that incident with Anko four years ago."

"I suspect one of them is rather angry with me," Kakashi muttered, ignoring the jab completely as he monitored his surroundings with the compulsive paranoia all elite shinobi developed after a few years of having people trying to kill you.

"You could **say that"** said a voice emanating from above them. Both ninja jumped back, Kotetsu drawing a giant kunai and Kakashi readying his hands to form seals, book gone as if it had never existed. The green haired, black-and-white skinned individual who had emerged head and shoulders from the wall surrounding Konoha blinked gold eyes at them innocently:

"Is this Konohagakure? **Of course it is; look at the hitai-ite. Moron."**

Kotetsu blinked at the man engaged in an argument with himself and tucked the kunai away. "Yeah, this is Konoha. Erm, state your business?"

The man slid further out of the wall, revealing a young woman in a pretty kimono decorated with cranes held bridal-style in his arms. "I'm delivering Amemaihana-san here **to _Hatake Kakashi._"** The last few words were snarled as the nukenin released a short, concentrated burst of KI while he gently set the woman on her feet and adjusted her collar and sleeves as delicately as if she were made of glass.

"O-kay then. This here's Kakashi; I'll just... go," Kotetsu said, backing away before making a break back to where Izumo was goggling at the green haired nin, recognising that this situation was way above his pay grade.

"Coward," Kakashi grumbled, noting that Zetsu wore a black cloak with red clouds. He was sensing a theme...

"Kashi!" Ame cried happily, smiling brilliantly and completely derailing his thought process. _Why did I want to be away from her again? It must have been the same kind of idiot thinking that got Obito killed._The journin immediately pulled her into a hug, ignoring their curious audience.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Ame-koi," he murmured in her ear, "I've missed you terribly; I should never have insisted on being given space in the first place. Are you well? The babies?"

Ame blushed happily, genjutu-created hazel eyes shining. "Yes and yes; I've missed you too, so very much!"

"**Get a room.** Ame-san, where do you want **your stuff to go?"** Zetsu asked, producing some large sealing scrolls from under his cloak.

"Give them here;" Kakashi said, "I'd rather not deal with the headache inviting you into the village is bound to cause."

The plant-nin shrugged, Venus flytrap-like appendages emerging briefly from around his shoulders. "Suit yourself, tree hugger. **Stay in touch, Yogensha-chibi.** Hatake-san, for you," he handed over the sealing scrolls and a small messenger scroll. "Just so you know, **I'd eat you if she let me."** With that he merged into the ground and disappeared.

"wasn't he friendly," Kakashi said breezily, feeling a little giddy from having escaped retribution and seeing _-touching-_ Ame-chan again. "Come on, Ame-chan, I'll show you where you're staying for now." He shoved the message scroll in his pouch, tucked the sealing scrolls firmly under one arm and wrapped the other around Ame's waist. He nodded to the gaping crowd:

"Ja ne," he said with an eye-smile and shunshined away, leaving a few leaves in his wake.

Izumo looked over at his partner. "So, did _you_ know Hatake had a girlfriend, Kotetsu?"

* * *

At Kakashi's apartment, the silver haired shinobi dumped the sealing scrolls on the counter, spun Ame around in his arms, yanked his mask down and kissed her like the world was ending. "I missed you so, so much," he muttered, untying her obi and draping it over the fridge. "I love you, Ame-koi and I'm _never_ letting you go."

"I can live with that," Ame whispered huskily, the genjutsu hiding her starry eyesockets dispelling as she tugged at his journin vest. "Off."

Kakashi willingly obliged, then pushed her firmly onto the bed and knelt down to take off her geta and tabi. That achieved, various other items of clothing made their way to the floor and were scattered across the tiny room. Ame was down to underwear, baring the faint swell of her pregnant belly and Kakashi was about to shed his trousers when someone knocked on the door. Snarling angrily, he wrenched his mask up over his face, stalked over to the door and yanked it open just enough to see who he had to kill for interrupting him. The unfortunate chunnin on the doorstep cringed as the journin's focused KI bore down on him.

"Ha-Hatake-sa-sama," he stuttered, staring in terror at th copy-nin's mismatched eyes, the sharingan in his left eye-socket whirling menacingly, "Th-the ho-ho-hokage wo-would l-like a w-w-word-"

"Later," the elite journin growled.

"Ha-Hatake-sama-"

"Is the village under attack?"

"N-n-no.."

"Has anyone militarily significant been assassinated?"

"N-no,"

"Then it can _wait_." Kakashi hissed, KI rising even higher.

"Hatake-sama-" The door slammed shut and the lock clicked. The chunnin collapsed to his hands and knees, wheezing in relief as the KI suffocating him was abruptly cut off. _Never, ever going to take a message to Hatake Kakashi again..._

Kakashi returned to the bed in an instant, eyeing his amused lover sprawled across the blankets with raw lust. "Now, koi," he purred, pulling his mask down so it pooled around his neck, "Where were we?"

Kakashi did not meet with the hokage until late in the evening, by which point every single ninja currently in Konohagakure had heard that the copy-nin had brought a girlfriend home from somewhere and was completely head-over-heels for her.

* * *

**Omake: The Letter **

Kakashi opened the messanger scroll he'd up until this moment forgotten and started to read it:

_Dear Hatake Kakashi,_

_We the undersigned are all good friends with Amemaihana-chan and expect you to trat her with the respect and devotion she deserves, both as a woman and as an adept of many different branches of the Shinobi arts. None of us like you very much -or at all- for getting her pregnant, so failiure to do so will result in lots and lots of pain and eventual death. Take not that this is only those of us who could be contacted in the past three months to sign this letter; rest assured there are more of us who couldn't sign both directly and by proxy._

_Yours,_

_Uchiha Itachi_

_Hoshigaki Kisame, former Mist Swordsman  
_

_Akasuna no Sasori_

_Iwagakure no Deidara_

_Zetsu_

_Ame no Konan  
_

_Kurosuki Raiga, former Mist Swordsman_

_Oowashi, daimyo of Bird country  
_

_Momochi Zabuza (proxy), former Mist Swordsman_

_Kayuga Kimmimaro (proxy) on behalf of the Kayuga clan  
_

_Kurotsuchi (proxy), journin of Iwa, on behalf of her fellow ninja acquainted with Yogensha-sama  
_

_Houzuki Aoitsuki (proxy) on behalf of the Houzuki clan_

_Yukimaki Matsumi (proxy) on behalf of the Yukimaki clan_

_Sabaku no Temari (proxy) on behalf of the Yondaime Kazekage, his family and those ninja of Suna acquainted with Yogensha-sama  
_

_Kamizuru Kiirobachi (proxy) on behalf of the Kamizuru clan_

_Tetsu no Mifune (proxy), leader of Iron country_

_Samui (proxy), journin of Kumo, on behalf of her fellow ninja_

_Wasabi Jirocho (proxy) on behalf of the Wasabi family in Tea country_

Kakashi blinked at the long list of powerful names and influential connections, noting that there were both missing-nin and those alligned to different villages on the list, as well as two daimyos and a powerful business man.

"I really messed up not admitting I loved her right away didn't I?"

A/N: I don't do lemons, so don't expect any. This is as close as I'll ever get.


	16. Naruto: Enlightenment

**Naruto: Enlightenment**

Being a full geisha took some getting used to, but Naruto absolutely adored being Mitsusha no Benihime. People openly admired her, gave her presents for no particular reason and she got to dress up in gorgeous clothes every evening! Of course, the sex was fun, too. Naruto had previously wondered what the fuss was about -most adults he'd observed seemed obsessed with it at some level- but he understood now. At least he understood why girls liked it and assumed that men had a similar deal. He _had_ promised his bunshin-nee-san that he wouldn't investigate sex as a boy until his body was ready, which she said was a few years away.

Before leaving Hibana-nee had given him some books to read, as well as half-a-dozen jutsu scrolls and two different bokken. She said they were his heritage, which made him suspicious. Hibana-nee had told him stories about her dead blond ninja friend -who he had eventually worked out was the Yondaime- but wasn't sure how his hero connected to him, looks aside. If he were the son of Konoha's greatest hero surely people would be nicer to him?

As it turned out, none of the books were about his possible-father; the first three were all about Uzumakis. They were titled 'The rise and fall of Uzushiogakure', ''Madness and Mayhem: a History of the Uzumaki Clan' and 'Fuuinjutsu for Uzumakis: Volume one (of sixteen). The last book was handwritten and by a guy called Uzumaki Retsuken, titled 'Practical Pranking: How to transfer your skills into a professional context' and was all about traps, misdirection and how to fool enemy shinobi using pranking skills as a foundation for more complex field strategies. It was an inspiration, and Naruto had a great deal of respect for his deceased relatives if they were anything like Retsuken.

The history book was actually interesting, but that was mainly because the Uzumakis had all been interesting people. From the clan's foundation by a middle child of the Riduko Sennin, creator of ninjutsu, through the foundation of Uzushiogakure -which was covered mainly in the other book- to the destruction of the village and scattering of the scant handful of survivors across the elemental nations.

Naruto learned that Uzumakis had been greatly feared, mainly by Kumo and Kiri, and were notorious for their straight, blood red hair, volcanic tempers and rather peculiar sense of humour. Naruto lacked the hair, but Benihime, who Hibana-nee had said was an expression of his hidden genetic traits, had it, which was encouraging. He liked pranks -especially Uzumaki pranks, he thought with an evil laugh as he read about his ancestor Retsuken's past exploits- and he certainly had the temper. It had taken him a while to be comfortable enough with Hibana-nee to lose his temper, but she had encouraged him to express himself honestly and insisted that bottling up his temper was unhealthy. He did always feel better after a good rant in a sealed room and a few hours of intensive taijutsu practice, so that was just one more thing Hibana-nee was right about.

The scrolls contained katas for Uzumaki kenjutsu; male and female styles, which showed just how many female Uzumakis used swords that they had created their own special style that took advantage of their different body type.

Naruto practised the kata in his apartment with the bokken provided, grateful for once for his social isolation; he had no neighbours to disturb.

As the weeks passed Naruto got used to his new routine, using the various innocuous prank jutsu in Retsuken-oji's book to lose his Hyuuga stalker so he could keep up with his schedule.

He attended the academy or pranked various ninja in the mornings and early afternoon, read his books and scrolls in the early afternoon, practised kata and worked on the beginners seals in the fuuinjutsu book until early evening when he would sneak out, travel to the okiya Once arrived, he henged, washed and dressed for the evening as Benihime. He ended up staying the night at the Mitsusha more often than not, which frequently meant he arrived late at the academy the next morning. Fortunately, being dead-last meant that nobody commented on his tardiness.

Reading about the exploits of past Uzumakis was interesting. Uzumaki Mito had married the Shodaime and helped him defeat Uchiha Madara at the Valley of the End. She'd been a fuuinjutsu expert, which was a field most Uzumakis excelled in since it was a clan speciality. Other than that, there had been Uzumaki ninjutsu specialists, taijutsu masters, kenjutsu masters -a lot of those- and the occasional genjutsu expert. One of the more advanced kenjutsu scrolls had a massive section on one-handed seals, so a ninja could use blade and jutsu at the same time. Naruto had practised forming the handseals but hadn't even tried to channel chakra into them yet; the scroll stressed the importance of good chakra control to make them work and Naruto had no illusions as to how inadequate his control was.

Other than his advances in training, Naruto also had new responsibilities. Being Hibana-nee's imouto and successor meant inheriting her client list. That had been an experience. Benihime was familiar with them all, having served sake, played shamisen or danced for each of them at one time or another. Meeting them and offering her services now that Hibana had 'moved on' went fairly smoothly; the worrying part was that a good half of her onee-san's regular clientèle were ninja. Experienced ninja, elite chunnin to journin level, and despite six years of intensive training Benihime was still a twelve year old academy student in henge on the inside.

The training did help her ignore that, at least; she was nonetheless grateful that Naruto's academy instructors were not among Benihime's clients.

Shiho-san was her easiest client; the woman came every other Wednesday to drink sake and thrash Benihime at shogi. The henged redhead got better at the game fairly quickly, but never upped her game when Shiho started to lose her concentration due to the sake. Not that it was a swift process; Shiho was surprisingly sharp even after a dozen dishes of sake, though she did ramble about her job when drunk. She was a codebreaker for the Hokage -not a ninja, but a civilian specially recruited for her analytical ability.

Hijiri Shimon was another fairly easy client. A chunnin, he came in almost every week for easy conversation, the occasional card game and to let off steam after missions or dealing with difficult colleagues. He never named names, but Benihime recognised many of them from the descriptions; Naruto at been regularly chased by almost the entire chunnin population of the village since he was eight. Where other ninja spent their mission money on fancy food, alcohol, gambling or expensive weapons, Shimon spent his on geisha. She suspected that had made him better adjusted than his peers in the long run.

Benihime had had sex with him just once, when he had come to the Mitsusha after losing a close friend on a routine mission gone sour. Shimon had been slightly drunk, extremely miserable and blaming himself; she had distracted him from his downward spiral and channelled his energy into something more enjoyable. Shimon neither mentioned that evening in later sessions nor made advances on her, but he was a little more relaxed and open around her. Benihime even received a brief visit from Shimon's Chunnin commander from that ill-fated mission, Kamizuki Izumo, who had bowed low and sincerely thanked her for her understanding.

Sarugaku Tsuzumi was another fairly easy client. Another chunnin, he liked to gamble, so they played various card games for trivial stakes like sweets or flowers. He came to the Mitsusha to gamble because it was less expensive than going to a casino and losing his entire salary at poker. He also liked to flirt, which he couldn't really do at the casino. Benihme rather enjoyed his open flattery and silly complements, and could flirt back without him taking her seriously.

Benihime's other ninja clients required more work on her part, each for different reasons. Morino Ibiki was a challenge, not because he had high or exacting standards, but because he was the village's top interrogation specialist. Hibana-nee's advice had been very clear: never, ever lie and do not show weakness.

Ibiki-san had a weekly slot on Saturday mornings -as a tokubetsu journin he could afford it- and spent it relaxing while Benihime either played shamisen or danced while a minarai played from behind a screen. She had initiated sex with him three times in four months; on each occasion he had been preoccupied by something that prevented her less intimate efforts from distracting and relaxing him.

The scarred ninja seemed amused by Benihime's total fearlessness when facing him -which considering he was nearly two metres tall, solid as a brick wall and specialised in psychological torture, really was something- and occasionally asked her questions, presumably trying to fit her into a mental box. In the interests of maintaining her mystique, Benihime sometimes told the truth, sometimes changed the subject and sometimes just smiled. He didn't seem to mind, though.

Mitarashi Anko was only difficult because she demanded intelligent and varied conversation. Other than that she enjoyed tea ceremonies and was both enthusiastic and scatty, reminding Benihime of Naruto's academy persona. The purple haired kunoichi also requested massages from time to time; during the first of these Benihime had noticed a brand-like seal on her neck. Sensing that Anko was daring her to comment, Benihime ignored the ugly thing completely. Her job was to aid and promote relaxation, not prod at sore spots.

Shiranui Genma, another tokubetsu journin, was difficult because he was laid back to the point of passive aggression, although Benihime had to concede that damn senbon of his got irritating as well. His visits were also the most irregular; once he'd come in twice in one week, another time he went a whole month between visits. What he liked was nevertheless consistent: a minarai would play while Benihime danced with her tessen and Genma would drink sake and watch. He had initiated sex on two occasions and both times Benihime found bandages over fresh, still-healing scars under his clothes. The smell on him each time indicated he had come to the okiya straight from the hospital.

He also talked in his sleep when he was off-duty -how he'd trained himself _not to_ while on-duty was a mystery- which had told her more about how Konoha used its ninja than she'd ever wanted to know.

Naruto may still have wanted to be a ninja with all his heart, but he no longer carried the illusions his peers did about what his chosen profession would entail. It was other people's dirty work in the shadows that ate at the soul, with brief moments of vindication and long periods of boredom interspersed with abject terror, terrible loss and profound relief.

Ironically, Benihime's most high maintenance client was a blind chunnin called Tobitake Tonbo. Having lost his eyesight -and a good portion of his upper face- in a misclassified mission, Tonbo had retrained to use his already above average chakra-sensing abilities to 'see'. This also prevented him from being promoted, as his specialised skills were unlikely to be needed in a solo journin-level mission.

These specialised abilities were also why he had become Hibana-nee's client in the first place: She had been the only geisha in the hanamachi with sufficient chakra for him to follow her every movement with ease. Benihime had first met him over a year ago and he had commented even then on her unusually high chakra levels for a civilian. She hoped he would never become aware of the unusual similarity of Benihime's and Naruto's chakras; while her kotai-henge somehow managed to modify her chakra as well as her body, the resemblance was still very close.

Fortunately, Tonbo had not yet encountered Naruto; his being blind meant he'd never participated in the post-prank chases at all. Benihime had decided not to worry about the odds of his discovering her darkest secret, but had to remind herself of that before almost every session.

Since the chunnin was blind she never bothered to put on facial makeup when entertaining him, since he would be unable to appreciate it. Tonbo was also the most persistent conversationalist of all her clients, expecting her to talk just as much if not more than he did, ans their discussions were both wide-ranging and in depth. He also really liked touching her: her hair, her hands, her face and even -when he'd had some sake and loosened up enough- her body through her kimono. The gentle feel of his fingers ghosting across her lips always gave Benihime and incredible thrill.

The red haired geisha could tell that Tonbo liked the fact she never flinched when faced with his horrific facial scars. She liked the fact that -on those few occasions when the flirting and petting got seriously physical- he was slow, tender and unbelievably thorough. Sex with Tobitake Tonbo was sheer bliss.

At the academy the four months since Hibana-nee left were just more of the same. He still played pranks -although both his skill level and the ranking of his targets were rising rapidly- did badly in class and sometimes had ramen with Iruka-sensei, who was okay for a teacher. He still hadn't mastered the bunshin jutsu either. Sasuke was opening up to him inch by inch, although they still fought like cats and dogs and the Uchiha kept calling him 'dobe'. Naruto retaliated by calling the blue-blooded clan heir 'teme', which Sasuke seemed to find weirdly satisfying. Sakura was still her violent banshee self, but Naruto found that asking her out had become strangely compulsive; it was probably the vicious refusals. At least he had worked out how to reinforce his head and neck with chakra to protect his brain from impact-induced trauma.

There were not quite four weeks left before graduation when Naruto finally determined what he wanted to do for his greatest and last prank while in the academy. It would take a lot of setting up and a certain amount of risk, but he was sure the Uchiha chunnin and their friend in the afterlife would get a kick out of it, as would the previous generations of Uzumakis.

* * *

**Omake**

Naruto never once considered what being a part-time female geisha at twelve would do to his psyche and sexual identity. Even if he had, he would probably have just shrugged it off; he loved his work and wasn't about to stop just because other people thought he was strange.

All of the elemental countries' most powerful ninja had some kind of quirk that, had the ninja been a civilian, would probably have got them locked up in a secure ward. Kira Bii, jinchuuriki of the Hachibi, rapped _all the time_ and his rhymes were pitiful. Uchiha Madara pretended to be hyperactive and infantile, referring to himself in the third person as 'Tobi' and insisting that 'Tobi is a good boy!' and Taki no Kakuzu was completely obsessed with money.

Konoha had more powerful ninja than most villages: Maito Gai had a sparkly-toothed smile, wore tight green spandex and shouted obsessively about 'The Power of YOUTH!'; Hatake Kakashi was consistently, chronically tardy and carried a copy of one of the Icha Icha books with him at all times; Senju Tsunade lost huge quantities of money gambling and drunk sake like water and Jiraya was a pervert without equal.

Uzumaki Naruto, aspiring hokage, was a sexual chameleon before he even entered his teens. By the time anyone who could have influenced him to suppress this behaviour actually became aware of it, it was too late; he was already cheerfully infamous for his equal opportunity attraction to people of any preference and either gender. That his henge was undetectable to ninja and completely unbreakable only made it worse.

A/N: And now we are all caught up to canon. I am mainly working from the manga version of events as I have never seen the anime.


	17. Kakashi: Impressions

**Kakashi: Impressions**

Having been a student of Namikaze Minato, Kiiroi Senkou and Yondaime hokage, who was widely recognised as having been Konoha's greatest ever seal master, Hatake Kakashi liked to think he knew quite a bit about seals. His fiancée however had just callously stripped him of that notion and was doing a number on both his ego and his rational mind.

"_How_ is that even _possible_?" he muttered, staring at the neat piles of bricks and lumber that had once been the home he grew up in. "Seals, she said; how the hell do _seals_ accomplish this?"

The past week had been more than somewhat stressful for the copy-nin. For the major omissions in his report he had been suspended from active duty for ten days and his actions since the mission placed under review. After returning to active duty he would only receive half pay for his missions until the genin graduation exams. Then he would be given a team to test and, in the words of the Sandaime, 'get them to pass so long as they show minimum competence and adequate potential'. This was fairly lenient and only possible because it was his first serious infraction, nobody else had been affected and he was an elite journin the village really, really needed.

The only good thing about the suspension was that it gave him plenty of time with Ame-chan, who was even more perfect than he remembered. He'd asked her to marry him the evening of the day she had arrived in the village -she accepted with a smile to put the sun to shame- and had spent his free time since following her as she carried out various self-appointed and esoteric errands around the village.

She had received permission to level and replace his former home, wrangled immigration permits for two adults other than herself and thirteen -_thirteen!-_ children, nine of them prospective ninja. The adults were listed as 'nurse (civilian)' and 'retainer (sworn)', both terms suspiciously bland and uninformative. She had also through some mysterious means acquired five blank free travel passes for the whole of Hi no kuni, which made Kakashi very wary indeed. Something told him that, although said passes bore the signatures of both the hokage and the daimyo, the Sandaime would not approve of the prospective recipients of those valuable documents.

It was only since the previous morning that Ame had actually started on the house. She had spent the first day going over the entire building with brush and ink, occasionally drawing symbols on walls, floors and ceilings as well as the weighty scroll she had Kakashi carry for her.

This morning she had dragged him out of bright and early and led the way back to the Hatake clan grounds -not that the clan had ever been very large- where she had him completely unroll the scroll in front of the rather rundown building. Ame had then knelt carefully beside the exposed seal array drawn on the paper and channelled chakra into the central design. The results of her rather mundane actions were what had the copy-nin questioning his sanity as, before his shocked eye, the house neatly and efficiently disassembled itself.

Ame had left him standing there and wandered over to the newly exposed foundations, again armed with brush and ink, muttering over yet another good-sized scroll. Kakashi wondered distantly if there was a bingo book warning above 'flee on sight' to classify his fiancée with. _Avoid known haunts, perhaps?_

"Kakashi! My Eternal Rival!" boomed a voice by his ear, "What are you Doing at such a Youthful Hour of the Morning?"

"Oh, Gai, it's you," said Kakashi dully, noting that Gai had a bowlcut, thick-eyebrowed, green-spandex-clad mini-me vibrating with enthusiasm behind him. _Is that one of his students or some kind of clone?_ "I'm watching my fiancée single-handedly deconstruct my family home."

Gai looked taken aback "You are to be Wed?" he asked in slightly less ear-shattering tones. He turned, "pushups, my Youthful Student!" then asked the silver haired journin more quietly, "How long have you known her, Kakashi?"

"Long enough," the copy-nin replied lazily, knowing that 'two weeks' -the time he'd actually spent with her- wouldn't cut it and he didn't want to reveal the nature of her bloodline just yet. "I love her and I'm going to marry her."

Gai's eyes widened. "You are In Love? YOSH! Congratulations on your Youthful Achievement, my Eternal Rival!" he boomed happily, "But this is one Expression of Youth I Cannot match, Alas!" Tears streamed down his face as he lunged for Kakashi, immobilizing his fellow journin in a manly hug as inescapable as the victim found it mortifying. "KAKASHI! I am So Happy for You!"

Kakashi cringed as the infamous and unbreakable sunset jutsu came into being behind him. _Somebody put me out of my misery, please._

"Nichibotsu no jutsu, fuuin!"

The beach and sunset vanished as if someone had flicked a switch; Kakashi took advantage of Gai's surprise to escape, stumbling back and staring at Ame, who had just pulled of something previously believed impossible.

"Ame-chan, _how?_" he breathed reverently.

The starry eyed young woman smiled mischievously: "Aren't seals wonderful?"

"If I hadn't already asked you to marry me, I would now," Kakashi said solemnly and not altogether in jest.

"Don't worry, Kashi-kun; I'll protect you from the big bad time-space distortion/ritual genjutsu hybrid," Ame said teasingly. "Now do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"My Eternal Rival! Introduce me to your Most Youthful Fiancée!" Gai interrupted, finding his voice again.

"Of course. Gai, this is Amemaihana, my fiancée. Ame-koi, this is Maito Gai, journin of Konohagakure."

"Greetings, Amemaihana-san! I am Maito Gai, Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha! And this is my Youthful Student, Rock Lee!"

The mini-Gai, who up until this point had been diligently doing pushups, bounced to his feet with appalling energy. "Greetings, Amemaihana-san!"

"Call me Amemai, Gai-san, Lee-kun," Ame said, rolling up the small scroll containing the sunset genjutsu and pocketing it. "My full name is too much of a mouthful for every day."

"How Youthful of you, Amemai-san! Tell me, how did you Meet my Eternal Rival?" Gai asked.

There was a short pause...

"Hm? Sorry Gai-san, my mind was elsewhere. What was it you said?" Ame asked, turning her head and blinking innocently at the spandex-clad nin. Kakashi managed -barely- not to laugh, but under the mask he was grinning like a loon. _Ame-koi, I adore you._

"Agh! My Eternal Rival's fiancée is just as Hip and Cool as he is!" Gai ranted, completely unnoticed by said fiancée.

"Kakashi? Good news or bad news?" she repeated, still staring thoughtfully into space while nibbling the handle of her calligraphy brush.

"Bad news first please, koi," he told her, fighting the urge to steal the brush and kiss her senseless.

"Right. Bad news is that there isn't quite enough space for what I had in mind. But! Good news is I can fix that fairly easily."

"How, exactly?" Kakashi asked cautiously, wary of the manic gleam in his lover's eye.

"More seals, of course!" Ame replied, bouncing happily on her toes. "I love seals!" She chirped. "Everyone out the gate unless they wish to experience an intermolecular self-replicating expansion! ANBU-san up in the tree, this means you as well! I don't want hokage-sama giving me grief because I accidentally exploded one of his ninja while creating my stable sub-space pocket!"

Kakashi ran for it out of the gate, Gai and mini-Gai -_wasn't he called Lee?-_ close behind him while the ANBU vaulted over the boundary wall.

"What is she doing, Hatake-san?" the Ookami-masked ANBU asked as Ame's chakra level rose noticeably and her kimono fluttered in a non-existent breeze.

"Honestly, Wolf-san, I think I prefer not to know," Kakashi admitted as thin streams of chakra exploded from Ame's body and began etching complex deal arrays into the walls surrounding the compound. "What she can do with seals makes Jiraya-sama look like and academy student. A very slow academy student."

"I saw what she did to the sunset genjutsu, Hatake-san," the ANBU admitted with no small amount of awe in his voice. "Do you think she would be willing to hand it over to us? I believe Morino-san has wanted to test that genjutsu's efficacy on prisoners for a while now."

"I'll ask her," Kakashi promised, envisioning the dreaded unbreakable sunset genjutsu being used to traumatize the enemies of Konoha. He couldn't keep himself from cackling a little.

"Hatake-san?"

"Just wondering how Itachi would react to that genjutsu, Wolf-san."

"The ANBU paused. "I, too, would like to see the Traitor's reaction to a genjutsu his eye cannot penetrate, let alone break," the ninja admitted, "especially considering the sharingan's mnemonic component."

Kakashi cackled again. He himself had taken care to keep his sharingan covered after one particular catastrophically traumatic encounter with that evil, evil genjutsu. He had enough trouble repressing that incident as it was without repeating it.

More ninja were arriving on the scene, drawn by the high levels of unfamiliar chakra.

"Hey, Kakashi! Is that your supposedly civilian girlfriend?" Shiranui Genma asked, chewing on the ever-present senbon.

"Hai. She's rewriting reality," Kakashi said absently, his brain having supplied a solution to the space issue that fitted with 'intermolecular self-replicating expansion' and 'stable sub-space pocket'.

Genma's jaw dropped and the senbon drooped dangerously low. "Tha-that's even _possible_?"

"Apparently it can be done with seals," Kakashi said mildly, eye on his fiancée, whose chakra was now pulsing steadily.

Then the trees started exploding.

Kakashi hadn't known trees could go from solid-green-and-boring to expanding-fireball-of-doom that quickly. Raising his hitai-ite off his sharingan eye he gaped at what his newly exposed eye revealed.

"She- they're going from solid to powder so fast it's practically instantaneous! Ans it's not just the trees; the grass is exploding too!"

Even more ninja were in the audience by now, no doubt drawn by the noise and house-sized fireballs rising above the skyline.

"Kakashi? Why am I not surprised?" The copy-nin winced as the hokage's dry tones were heard between explosions.

"Gomen nasai, Sandaime-sama; My fiancée is remodelling."

There was a weird whistling sound and the space inside the compound shivered, twisted and _stretched_. It made Kakashi's sharingan hurt and he yanked his hitai-ite down over the streaming eye as his brain screamed,_ but that's physically impossible!_

Ame appeared between the gateposts, a huge smile on her face.

"Finished! The Hatake compound is now larger on the inside than on the outside!"

There was a pause filled with the silence of abject psychological shock.

"Maa, how much bigger Ame-chan?" Kakashi asked, curious despite himself.

"I quadrupled the area!" his lover chirruped proudly. "Sorry about the trees, though. Are there any spare ones I can transplant to replace them once I've got the house built? It shouldn't take me more than a fortnight. Probably a bit less."

The hokage found his voice first. "I can arrange someone to replace the lost trees, Amemaihana-san," he managed faintly, "provided you agree to an ANBU guard until the construction process is finished."

"Call me Amemai please, hokage-sama. My name's a bit long to use all the time. But yes, that's great! Now, can somewhere tell me where to find some ninja called Morino-san? I heard he wanted an unbreakable sunset jutsu to experiment with and I have one sealed in here," she waved a scroll.

_My fiancée, _Kakashi decided,_ is completely off her head. And I wouldn't have her any other way._

* * *

Two weeks later the new Hatake mansion -it was too large to be called a mere 'house'- was finished, mostly furnished and ready to be moved into. Ame was still busy landscaping the grounds with a tiger-masked ANBU with the mokuton kekkai genkai that Kakashi remembered from his own ANBU days. He seemed rather bemused by the night-eyed young woman's enthusiasm for trees, but held up better than most of her previous ANBU minders had; he had yet to start muttering to himself, twitching uncontrollably or spacing out for whole minutes at a time, despite almost two whole days of continuous exposure to Ame-chan's... foibles. Kakashi suspected the younger man found the attention flattering.

Of course, with his fiancée gardening, he had to finish unpacking by himself. Thankfully Ame's belongings were still mostly sealed in their scrolls, and all the larger items had also been sealed according to room, making the process far easier. Ame had even drawn him a map of the building with all the rooms labelled. Pausing on the doorstep, Kakashi formed the necessary handseal for the shadow clone jutsu.

"Here, everybody pick a scroll. The sooner I finish the unpacking the sooner I can persuade her to try the new bed," he said, grabbing one for himself. Suitably motivated, the eight clones each grabbed a scroll and shunshined off to get their part done. The original made his way to the western wing of thee mansion scroll tucked under one arm. _One month left until the genin exams then another three months until the babies are due, probably a little less._

The ANBU mednin who had been on duty the previous week had dragged both of them to the hospital for a checkup once he discovered that Ame was expecting more than one baby. The doctor at the hospital had warned him that multiple pregnancies often resulted in premature births. She had also tried to get Ame to agree to become less active, but his fiancée had stared the doctor down, starry eyes glinting menacingly, saying firmly that her kekkai genkai was infamous for preventing the complications usually associated with multiple pregnancies. Her exact words had been, 'up to five before the body adopts serious modifications, up to fifteen before nutrient levels become an issue', which had been both a shock and a relief. The mere idea of _fifteen babies all at once_ was a touch overwhelming.

Ame was only just starting to show a gently expanding curve on her abdomen through her clothes. The idea that _his children_ were growing in there was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. _What if they got hurt?_ Okay, it was unlikely all things considered; _Ame-koi breaks the rules like she doesn't know they're there, but still._

Kunoichi weren't supposed to be able to use chakra beyond the first stages of pregnancy, but Ame's sealing demonstrations over the past two weeks had proved that regardless of the norm there was nothing impeding her from accessing large quantities of chakra, thank-you very much.

Kakashi shivered, pausing in his self-appointed task as the memory of Ibiki's delight of receiving a copy of the sunset jutsu to play with resurfaced. Ame had called it a time-space distortion/ ritual genjutsu hybrid, which had prompted inquiry as none of the Konoha ninja had heard of 'ritual genjutsu' before. Ame had explained that 'visual effects' such as fangirl eye-hearts, embarrassed sweat-drops and angry facial tics were all examples of ritual genjutsu, activated by a specific action or emotion. The infamous sunset genjutsu was activated by Maito Gai's passionately 'youthful' man-hug.

On hearing the explanation Morino Ibiki had murmured about 'exploring the possibilities' with such interest as to send a shiver down the spines of all those present.

Ame also explained that the 'time-space' element of the genjutsu was created because the will of the caster -Gai- was so powerful and sincere that it distorted reality, creating a temporary pocket dimention. Thus the ritual genjutsu morphed into a time-space _ninjutsu_, which was why it could not be unravelled and refused to break on 'kai'.

Kakashi shivered again as he moved into the next room. _Evil, evil, thing._

_

* * *

_

**Notes**

free travel pass = passport granting a ninja the permission to travel freely through a specific nation -or at will throughout the elemental nations- without having to report regularly to their Kage. Jiraya and Tsunade of the Sannin each have one, allowing them to wander throughout the elemental nations without being declared missing-nin.

nichibotsu = sunset. Ame's name for Gai's 'youthful**' **ritual genjutsu.**  
**

ritual genjutsu = a very peculiar and little-understood field of genjutsu. create unusual and generally harmless visual effects denoting female fury (fiery aura of DOOM), amorous devotion (hearts for eyes) and other anime-esque special effects. Cannot be dispelled by anyone but the caster.

A/N: I will be calling the ANBU by their mask-names in English, so as not to confuse them with the young neo-Uchiha/Kamen clan. Ritual genjutsu is all my own invention. Merry Christmas to all!_  
_


	18. Naruto: Confermation

**Naruto: Confermation**

Three weeks before the genin graduation exam Benihime had tea with a new client who asked for her personally. Amemai was new to the village, had some kind of doujutsu, was rumoured to be involved with one of the village's handful of elite journin and was definitely pregnant. Benihime was almost certain she was Hibana-bunshin's 'Onna-bozu'. With this in mind, the henged redhead had rather been looking forward to this particular session.

Amamai was exactly the same height as Hibana-nee and only slightly curvier, which could be attributed to the pregnancy. Her hair was thigh length rather than waist length and caramel coloured rather than Hibana's dark coffee, and in the place of Hibana-nee's green-grey eyes Amemai's eyesockets were filled with inky blackness littered with hundreds of tiny stars.

The facial structure and skin colour were also fairly similar, but no one who had only ever seen Hibana-nee in her geisha makeup would ever associate the two women. Where Hibana had been calm, gentle and patient, if implacable when angered, Amamai was friendly, scattered and slightly manic with chakra reserves so vast Benihime could _feel_ them pressing against the edge of her perception even when she wasn't actively sensing chakra.

"Benihime-chan!" the woman squealed as soon as she entered the room where the geisha was waiting for her, enfolding the red head in an exuberant hug. "It's wonderful to see you firsthand at long last. I've wanted to meet my imouto for so long! Oh, where are my manners," she let go, stepped back and bowed slightly, "watashi-wa Amemaihana desu, but please call me Ame-nee."

Benihime couldn't help smiling; Ame radiated vibrant joy the same way Naruto radiated sheer energy. "Of course, Ame-nee. It is lovely to meet you at last."

"I'd like to meet my otouto soon as well," Ame added obliquely, calming down a bit as she settled on a cushion, "could you organise it?"

Benihime was grateful for Ame-nee's discretion. Considering her responsibilities it would be catastrophic -for both her personally and the entire okiya- were it to get out that Mitsusha no Benihime and Uzumaki Naruto were one and the same. The past four months had tempered Naruto in ways his classmates would never understand; he realised now that he _needed_ Benihime to keep him balanced.

"Naturally, Ame-nee-san," Benihime said, quietly happy for her new neesan's recognition of her other self. "Can I offer you some more tea?"

Ame accepted the tea, drank it slowly and left, agreeing to 'meet her otouto at at his place tomorrow after school'. Benihime was glad the next day was a Thursday with no personal clients at all, enabling her to cancel all appointments without upsetting anyone.

The first thing Ame-nee did upon meeting Naruto was to wrap him in a tight hug. It was so like Hibana-nee, the first and only woman to hug him while he was boy shaped, that Naruto promptly burst into tears. Ame-nee didn't show the slightest irritation at his breakdown, just closing the front door behind her, carrying him over to the couch and sitting down with him still wrapped around her rather swollen middle. She did not in any way indicate that his behaviour was wrong or shameful, quietly rubbing his back and crooning until he'd got control over his emotions again then asking what he'd been up to since Hibana-nee left.

Naruto instantly plunged into a monologue on the wonderful books on Uzumakis he'd been given, how he'd been practicing his katas 'real hard' and expounding his budding understanding of fuuinjutsu, as well as the pranks he'd pulled and how he thought Sasuke was warming to him a little. Ame-nee listened, nodded, laughed in the right places and corrected him here and there on seals. Naruto wondered as he spoke if this was what having a mother felt like. Hibana-nee had always advised him, listened to his woes and offered solutions, but she had been a geisha to the bone. She had never snuggled with him and let him ramble on like Ame-nee was doing now. His new neesan was acting like mothers he had seen behaved towards their children and it was even more wonderful than he'd imagined it to be.

By the end of the conversation Naruto determined that Hibana was to Ame-nee what Benihime was to him, just a facet of a larger whole, and the pregnant, dark blonde woman slid effortlessly into the space in his heart Hibana-nee had only partly filled. That gave him the courage to ask the question that had been bothering him since he began reading about his heritage.

"Ame-nee? If my mother was an Uzumaki, who was my father?"

"I'm not really allowed to say, Naru-kun, but I'm sure that -given your appearance and what I've told you- you can make an educated guess."

Naruto blinked, shocked but not really surprised. He had suspected, but... "Yondaime-sama? Bu-but! Why does everyone hate me and treat me like shit?"

"Language, Naru-kun," Ame said calmly. "They don't know, or at least they haven't been told. Your parentage was hidden to protect you from vengeful Iwa-nin out to exterminate the family of the Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou.

"So why _do_ they hate me?"

Ame-nee-chan shrugged. "You were born on the day the Kyuubi ravaged Konoha and when both it and the Yondaime lost their lives, look just like their hero did as a child yet also have whisker-marks and a few other foxy mannerisms."

Naruto thought about it. "They think I'm Kyuubi? That's just stupid!" he protested.

"Very true. But the Kyuubi no Yoko was the most powerful of the bijuu, all of which are ridiculously strong. It killed many and completely terrified those fortunate to survive its rampage. The villagers fear that it is not truly defeated and may rise again, while some of the shinobi are resentful for the loss of their loved ones. But that in no way excuses their treatment of you. You suffer unjustly. Life, however, is not and never has been fair, so you will just have to live with their idiocy."

Naruto snuggled closer to the woman who had filled the mother-shaped hole in his heart and helped him learn so much about his birth parents. "Arigatou, Ame-nee." He paused. "If no-one knows how do you know?"

Ame-nee pointed to the dark starry pools that filled her eyesockets. "My bloodline enables me to see the past, as well as events occurring great distances away from wherever I happen to be."

"Sugoi! Will the baby be able to do that?"

Ame smiled wryly. "I sincerely hope not; It is a rare combination bloodline and very difficult to deal with. They'll probably get one of my other latent kekkai genkai. Besides, Naru-kun, it's _babies_. I'm going to have triplets."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Can I be Naruto-ji-chan?"

"Of course! You _are_ my one and only Naruto-otouto, aren't you?"

Naruto smiled so widely it hurt. He loved his new Ame-nee-chan so _very_ much.

* * *

Naruto did not see Ame-nee very much in those last few weeks before graduation; she was busy organising all manner of grown-up things and spending time with her journin boyfriend, who's name the blond _still_ didn't know. Likewise, Naruto was also busy with lessons, training and planning his ultimate prank. His chakra control, while greatly improved, _still_ wasn't precise enough for the stupid bunshin jutsu. He channelled his frustration into creating a prank version of his kotai-henge; the adult magazine he'd found in jiji's office was very helpful, although a small part of him would have been happy _not_ knowing his grandfather figure was a bit of a perv.

The blond had acquired by osmosis his geisha onee-sans' disdain for porn and perverts. Women were companions, helpers and attractive distractions from life's hardships, not sex toys. Plus, perverts were _icky_. His Orioke no jutsu was a prank technique, but he could also see its potential as a distraction. More usefully, if people thought it was a rather crude prank, they wouldn't even think to look into its more practical applications.

The day before graduation Naruto pulled his prank masterpiece: painting the faces of the hokages on the side of the mountain overlooking Konoha. He made a point of ensuring his additions were artistic. Getting chased around the village by chunnin, various journin and half-a-dozen ANBU was also great fun; he spotted a lot of familiar faces, many of which were having trouble holding back laughter.

He let Iruka-sensei catch him just after lunch -the man _was_ the best academy sensei he'd ever had- then compounded his mischief by using the chunnin as a test subject for his centrefold technique. Of course Iruka-sensei was horribly embarrassed by his reaction to girl-Naruto and gave him detention, but the blond knew his other self was actually very, very beautiful even for a woman and didn't hold the nosebleed against the chunnin. Naruko-chan was tall, curvy and very sexy indeed. She even got a reaction out of Sasuke, firmly disproving Naruto's theory that the Uchiha might be gay.

The only catch was that the girls in class were jealous of his 'girlish figure', which made them angry and, sadly, violent. Thankfully his detention with Iruka-sensei prevented them from pounding him to mush, although washing the Hokage mountain was not how he'd wanted to spend his afternoon. He did get ramen out of it afterwards, though.

Benihime's evening at the Mitsusha was most entertaining, as she got to listen to Shimon-san's recount of the chase as well as his appreciation of the stealth and sheer balls Naruto had shown in pulling the prank. _The Uchiha chunnin and Obito-san in the afterlife must be laughing themselves sick..._

Shiman-san also gallantly accompanied her to the graves of the dead Uchiha so she could leave flowers. She told the curious chunnin that she'd only known them in passing, but that they'd enjoyed 'Uzumaki-kun's pranks'.

Take care of yourself, Benihime-chan," Shimon-san told her before taking his leave on returning her to the okiya, "You're something special."

* * *

Graduation day was... difficult. He woke up late and had to dash out without a proper breakfast. Ame-nee had warned him she couldn't pick him up afterwards as she had an urgent appointment, but had promised to make it up to him the next day and celebrate his joining the ninja ranks together. He was also very worried about the bunshin jutsu.

His written test was much harder than it had been in previous years, which was weird since it wasn't just a genjutsu like some previous would-be-senseis had done once or twice. The poorly balanced kunai he was given for his weapons test compounded his suspicions and being asked to perform the bunshin as his ninjutsu test was the fishcake on top of the ramen: His genin test was being maliciously sabotaged. His _stupid, _ignorant_, blind_ chunnin instructors had confused him with a mountain-sized fox demon and wanted to prevent him from _ever_ becoming a ninja!

He tried the bunshin jutsu, failed miserably and slouched despondently outside to the swing, ruthlessly suppressing the urge to cry.

_Ame-nee will be back tomorrow. I can cry then. Thank goodness Benihime has no clients until tomorrow evening, I'd be useless tonight._

Naruto sighed heavily. At least he could still be a geisha. Even if nobody -_except Ame-nee- _ever acknowledged him as Uzumaki Naruto, Benihime would still be appreciated and that was almost as good. _Even though that 'almost' hurts inside._

When Mizuki found him to commiserate with his failure, Naruto only listened with half an ear to what the assistant teacher had to say about Iruka. But when the silvery haired chunnin offered him a last-ditch chance to graduate, Naruto leapt for it. It was his last chance to live life openly without having to lie about who he was just to get people to treat him normally.

It was only after he had knocked out hokage-jiji with his orioke and opened the scroll out in the woods that Naruto began to feel misgivings. The kage bunshin no jutsu was incredibly useful -and fairly easy for a person with chakra reserves like his- but it definitely wasn't a genin level technique. Neither were the other jutsus in the scroll, one of which looked suspiciously like the seal on his stomach. _I really have to get around to asking Ame-nee about that thing_. He quickly memorised the handseals and descriptions for the kage kunai no jutsu, kage shuriken no jutsu and bunshin bakuha -he really liked the look of that one, however chakra intensive it was- before rolling up the scroll and slinging it over his back, seething with anger as he leapt into the trees. This was the _real_ forbidden scroll! Mizuki was trying to get him into trouble with the hokage!

Naruto quickly formed two kage bunshin -he loved this jutsu already- and has one henge into the forbidden scroll. The Naruto clone sat down in the middle of the clearing, its scroll-henged fellow laid out before it, and settled down to wait and see what would happen next. The original Naruto in the tree suppressed his chakra as far down as it would go, unfolded a fine gauze sheet over himself and the real scroll and used kakuremino no jutsu, the false surroundings technique, on it to hide his presence. Now all he had to do was sit still and wait until the conspirators came to find him.

To his great personal disappointment, Iruka was the first to burst into the clearing. However, when confronted by the Naruto-clone's feigned clueless enthusiasm he seemed genuinely surprised. Maybe it wasn't a conspiracy after all...

The hail of kunai Iruka took protecting the clone and Mizuki's subsequent arrival confirmed that it really was all the other chunnin's fault. Then Mizuki dropped the bomb, figuratively speaking, by informing the Naruto-clone that it was the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko. Of course, the idiot said that Naruto was really the fox, but the blond hidden in the tree knew better than to believe that garbage. He'd studied jinchuuriki as part of his education on other nations and cultures with Himitsu-okaa-san. At least that explained why he had the aforementioned big-ass seal over his navel gate. _It is also a far more likely explanation of why the morons are so convinced I'm a demon in human form._

The clone froze at this point, undecided as to an appropriate course of action, which Mizuki took advantage of to throw one of his fuuma shuriken at it. Unfortunately Iruka-sensei, not knowing that it was a clone, shielded it with his own body, which both clone and original found deeply distressing. Mizuki then revealed Iruka's hatred of the Kyuubi -prompting Iruka's own avowal that he _didn't _hate Naruto, who wasn't the fox at all- and the clone seized the opportunity to leg it out of the clearing. Once out of sight of the two chunnin both clone and scroll-clone dispersed.

The sudden influx of memories from both gave Naruto all kinds of interesting ideas, making him wish he carried a notebook to write them down in. He dropped quietly from the trees as soon as both chunnin took off towards where they thought he had gone, hid the scroll in a bush and followed after them at a jog. Mizuki was a traitor to Leaf, that much was clear, so he needed to be dealt with. Naruto wasn't sure that gentle, caring Umino Iruka was up to killing his former teaching assistant.

Naruto knew he could kill someone who threatened those he cared for; as Benihime he had slashed the throat of a would-be rapist attacking Momo-chan. Hibana-nee had held him through the tears, soothed him through the rage and helped him find peace rather than succumb to depression. He had hated it, still hated the idea of killing, but Mizuki had admitted to being a traitor to Konohagakure and broken what was apparently a major law. For that he would die. When he found the two chunnin he almost tut-tutted. Fooled by henge? Real henge, a mere genjutsu? They were getting lax.

Mizuki's second attempt to murder Iruka-sensei made Naruto _angry_. Luckily he caught the feeling on its way up and converted the dangerous surge of berserk Uzumaki fury into several hundred shadow clones, which pounded Mizuki into the ground with little effort while he centred himself and regained control. Then Iruka put his own hitai-ite on Naruto, pronouncing him a genin, and the blond jinchuuriki's heart nearly burst with joy. He had made it!

* * *

**Word list**

Onna-bozu = boss-lady

Sugoi = cool!

Orioke = centrefold

Kage bunshin = shadow clone; creates solid clones of the caster with working chakra systems. The caster's chakra is evenly divided among the clones and himself.

Kage kunai/shuriken = shadow kunai/shuriken; creates solid replicas of the chosen weapon.

bunshin bakuha = clone explosion; creates a shadow clone that detonates on the caster's signal. Highly chakra intensive

A/N: We are officially in canon! Of course, with Naruto's different experiences he is a good bit more on the ball and far more mature. If anyone really wants to know how Naruto decorated the hokage monument I might do an outtake. Of course, if no-one is interested in outtakes, I won't bother... (hint hint!) As Always, Please Review!


	19. Naruto: Team

**Naruto: Team**

The next morning Naruto woke up late again and narrowly avoided drinking the spoilt milk festering quietly in his fridge. The power had obviously 'failed' again. _Stupid civilians mistaking me for a mountain-sized chakra fox. If I _was_ the Kyuubi I'd have killed them all years ago_. He made do with a pair of oranges, not wanting to be late for the team assignments.

Naruto had already decided to keep his academy persona at least mostly up until he'd determined whether his journin-sensei hated him and discussed it properly with Ame-nee. Depending on who his team-mates and sensei were, it might be safer to keep it up.

He arrived in class before Iruka-sensei, so he wasn't late. However his enthusiasm was swiftly killed by the sight of both Yamanaka Ino _and_ Haruno Sakura arguing about who would get to sit next to 'Sasuke-kun!'. Sasuke was, of course, ignoring them both.

Today that irritated him. If Sasuke told them to stop being so immature and act like real kunoichi they would do it. His stubborn refusal to get involved just made the lives of his other, saner classmates more difficult. Naruto quietly positioned himself so he could look Saasuke dead in the eye and glared at the grumpy Uchiha.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, then lowered, matching him glare for glare. Naruto bared a fang-like canine:_ Oh, you are so on, teme._

Unfortunately another boy jostled Naruto from behind at this point, making the blond fall forward-

-right onto the last Uchiha. The fangirls were silenced as Sasuke's lips met Naruto's. The whisker-marked blond had a split second to categorise his opinion of the kiss -too Young to be my type, too broody by half and far too unwilling to accept much-needed help- before Sakura yanked him away from the black haired boy. Surrounded by irate fangirls, Naruto swallowed nervously and surreptitiously reinforced his entire body with chakra._ I am sooo dead. Iruka-sensei, please hurry. I'm counting on you here._

Iruka-sensei arrived and interrupted the beating with his big head no jutsu before the crazed fangirls could actually break any of his bones. Naruto quickly shimmied into the contested seat next to Sasuke, muttering:

"Don't worry, teme: you wouldn't be my type even if I _were_ a girl," which got a snort of almost-amusement from the other boy. Sasuke-speak was a language unto itself, but Naruto was fairly conversant. That last grunt had been a 'thank the kami' and 'it will never be referred to again'. Most Sasuke-speak was body language, with actual vocalisation acting as punctuation or emphasis.

Iruka-sensei finished his incredibly boring speech on their new shinobi duties and announced the teams; numbers one to six were all fangirls and boys from mainly civilian families. Naruto doubted even one of those teams would pass.

"Team seven is Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto! Your journin-sensei is Hatake Kakashi."

Naruto slumped forward and groaned quietly while Sakura ranted, loudly celebrating her 'triumph'.

"Hn, dobe?" Naruto translated this to, 'why aren't you pleased to be on the same team as Sakura?'

"I only pursue her because it's funny, teme," Naruto muttered, face on the desk, "she hates _my_ acting like a fanboy, yet she behaves _exactly_ the same way around _you_."

"Hn," with a discreet twitch of the lips; 'too true: yes, it is funny after all'.

"And bloody Hatake as well," Naruto rambled on _sotto voce_; "He's _never_ punctual."

"Hn?"

"Hatake Kakashi is always several hours late to anything short of an A-ranked mission or a national emergency. What? Don't look at me like that teme. So I eavesdrop; It's practically a virtue among ninja."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and frowned at him assessingly. "Hn."

"Of course I'm not as stupid as I look, teme; no _ninja_ is that dumb. This way people underestimate me. You won't give the game away, will you?"

"Hn." Saasuke turned to look out of the window as Iruka called the final teams. Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba under Yuuhi Kurenai, a genjutsu expert and a friend of Anko-san's, made up team eight. Lee's team nine from last year were still genin, so the last team was team ten: Akiminchi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino with Sarutobi Asuma as their journin-sensei; a new Ino-Shika-Cho team to follow in their fathers' footsteps.

In a way, Naruto was glad no-one was aware of his probable parentage. That would have been a lot of pressure and far too many unreasonable expectations. He had no idea how Sasuke coped. _Wait... he doesn't. That explains it._

"Hey, Sasuke, want me to help you escape for lunch?"

"Hn?" Slightly scornful; 'how could you possibly assist me, dobe?'

"I learned a new jutsu earning this," Naruto tapped his hitai-ite, "and now I can make solid clones. I'll henge one to look like you and we can make our escape while the fangirls are distracted by the decoy."

Sasuke paused, obviously torn between remaining detached and aloof and escaping the screaming horde. He eventually dipped his chin in acceptance.

"_Excellent_," Naruto whispered sibilantly, fingers discreetly forming the cross seal for kage bunshin. Both clones materialised on the ground two stories below the open window, one instantly henge-ing into the last Uchiha.

"See him?" Naruto murmured. "Think you can kawarimi with him, teme?"

"Easily, dobe," Sasuke muttered scornfully, hands already under the desk and performing the needed handseals. Naruto swiftly followed suit and both were outside the academy building and walking towards the centre of the village by the time the lunch bell rang.

"Hey, Sasuke! Want to go for some ramen? I'll pay," Naruto suggested in normal tones.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Fine, be that way," Naruto groused, leading the way towards Ichiraku's ramen stand. "You do know that if you talked more the girls wouldn't find you so cool and mysterious, don't you?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, following a step behind and a little to the right of the blonde.

"Well they don't know you're quiet because you have nothing positive to say to them. They just think your tragic past makes you cool." Naruto growled in his throat; "There's nothing romantic about pain. Pain just hurts, making it entirely lacking in redeeming features. It's how you react to pain that counts."

Sasuke looked at him oddly following this outburst, but didn't stop following him.

"And here we are: Ichiraku's, finest ramen in Konoha. Hey, Ayame-chan! I brought a new customer!"

"Naruto-kun! Congratulations on graduating," the ramen girl said warmly. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Uchiha Sasuke, my new team-mate," Naruto said with a broad, foxy smile. "Teme, this is Ayame-chan, her dad owns the stand."

"Sasuke managed a "Konnichiwa, Ayame-san," then sat down on one of the stools and reached for a menu.

"All of the flavours are really good," Naruto said conversationally, still not shouting in his usual idiot fashion. He knew Sasuke would never divulge this new behaviour to anyone else; it wasn't the brooding boy's way. "But I like miso and pork best. Though beef is nice, too..." he trailed off thoughtfully. "Anyway! Pork for me, Ayame-chan!"

"Shrimp," Sasuke said to Ayame, his tone as friendly as Naruto had ever heard it, meaning it wasn't outright sulky.

"Coming up, boys!"

As soon as Ayame's attention was elsewhere Sasuke turned to face Naruto: "What's up with you today, Uzumaki?"

Noting that Sasuke was serious enough to forgo the habitual 'dobe', Naruto responded in kind. "People really don't like me for some reason, Sasuke. It's not the pranks; they hated me before that. I thought it might be my parents but I never knew them so I can't verify that either. So I hide my real self away so people don't try to hurt me. No-one feels threatened by the idiot dead-last, do they?"

Sasuke paused thoughtfully. "You did badly on purpose?"

"Only in class. I'm damn good with kunai and shuriken, as you know, but I was given poorly balanced ones in the exam. And you know _exactly_ how good I am in taijustu."

Sasuke smirked. "You're not bad," he conceded as Ayame served them their ramen.

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto chirped happily, snapping his chopsticks apart, then paused before digging in. "Friends?"

"Hn." Sasuke cracked his own chopsticks apart and started his meal.

"Good enough for me," Naruto shrugged before attacking his own bowl of ramen. He'd barely finished when the memories of one of the dispelled shadow clones reached him and he shivered.

"Dobe?"

"Your clone was just dispelled; your fangirls are seriously creepy, you know. Sakura's going to whine about your escaping into thin air, though."

Sasuke indicated, without making a sound, that Sakura could go hang for all he cared.

"Yes, but unfortunately genin teams always have three members. We lose her now and we won't get to be genin."

"..."

"Yes, it _is_ a shame, but that's life for you. Everyone starts off in a three man genin cell under a journin-sensei. We can't ditch her until we make chunnin."

"Hn," Sasuke said decisively.

"As fast as possible; I'm with you. Shall we wander back?"

* * *

The next three hour were sheer torture. All the other journin collected their teams in the first half-hour, leaving Naruto and Sasuke to suffer through Sakura's schizoid fawning, paranoia and growing rage at their sensei's tardiness. Sasuke, forewarned of the journin's habitual lateness, sat and brooded in silence. Naruto blocked his ears with chakra and, after balancing the chalkboard eraser over the door, went over the very interesting new books Ame-nee had given him in his head. One of them was on sign language, another on fan language and a third on standard -in other words non-Uzumaki- sealing techniques. Unfortunately Sakura noticed he was ignoring her and bopped him over the head.

"Baka!"

Naruto blinked. "Did you say something, Sakura?" he asked as the door opened. The three genin turned to look.

There was a thud as the dust-covered eraser bounced off the gravity-defying silver hair of their new sensei. Sasuke smirked, Naruto shoved his fist in his mouth to smother his snickers and Sakura blushed scarlet in embarrassment.

"My first impression of you three is... I hate you. But blondie at least has the right attitude."

Naruto ignored the words; their sensei didn't mean them in the slightest. He was however about the most opaque ninja Naruto had ever seen in either form, his entire being shrouded in a lazy, apathetic persona who reminded the blond rather forcefully of Shikamaru. The cloth mask covering the lower half of his face and the hitai-ite pulled down over his left eye didn't help much, either.

"We'll talk on the roof." The journin shunshined away in a swirl of leaves. Sakura hurried out the door towards the stairs, followed by a slouching Sasuke and a thoughtful Naruto.

_He's good,_ the blond thought._ Very good. If I keep the mask up he'll either ignore it or call me on it; there's no way he'll miss it. Most likely to ignore it, I think: he seems rather live-and-let-live, not to mention lazy enough to not bother to dig up my real self if it means less work for him. _

_Problem is, if I keep the mask up I won't get to learn as much. Decisions, decisions._

Once on the roof the three genin sat down in front of their slouching sensei.

"So... introduce yourselves," the journin said dully.

"Ano, sensei? What do we say?" Sakura asked. Naruto, through unbelievable force of will, prevented his incredulity and disgust from showing on his face.

_Is this really the brightest girl in our year?_

Hatake Kakashi shrugged negligently. "Names, likes, dislikes, dreams, hobbies."

"Can you go first, sensei? None of us know anything about you," Sakura ventured.

"Sure. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I don't feel like telling you my likes and dislikes. Dreams... never really thought about it, but I have lots of hobbies."

Naruto _knew_ the journin was being irritating on purpose, probably because he was on the opposite end of the 'I love to teach' scale from Iruka-sensei. Kakashi clearly saw them as a passel of annoying little brats wasting his time with their unprofessional attitudes. _So I'll let the mask down enough that he can see that I'm not the idiot everyone thinks I am._

"You next," Kakashi said, pointing at Sakura.

"Hai, sensei! My name is Haruno Sakura, I like-" she looked sideways at Sasuke and blushed slightly, "-my hobbies are-" another glance at Sasuke "-my dream is-" another glance at Sasuke, who was scowling blackly by this point, accompanied by a slightly perverted giggle, "-and I hate Naruto!"

The blond widened his eyes, pouted and clutched at his chest with both hands. "But Sakura-chaaaan! You wound me with your words!"

Sasuke snorted derisively while Sakura pointedly ignored him, having missed the sarcasm completely or she would have hit him.

"You next blondie," the journin said, the slight twitch of his mask indicating that _he_ had not missed the sarcasm at all.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto said at a normal decibel level, "I like ramen and geisha, I don't like prejudice, willful blindness and the three minutes it takes instant ramen to cook. Three minutes isn't instant! My dream is to fulfil my potential as a ninja and become the greatest hokage ever. My hobbies... pranks and learning about my clan."

That got a reaction from both team-mates _and_ his sensei, although admittedly Kakashi only raised an eyebrow in mild surprise.

"You have a clan, dobe?"

"Had a clan, teme. The Uzumakis were wiped out about twenty years ago when the village they ruled was razed to the ground," Naruto said shortly. "My mother was probably the only refugee to reach Konoha since I've never met or even heard of another Uzumaki here. I doubt I have any surviving family at all."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted sympathetically.

"Thanks, teme," Naruto said quietly.

"No way that baka is from a noble clan," Sakura scoffed loudly, having missed the interaction between her male team-mates.

"Actually he probably is," Kakashi rebuked mildly. "Of course they were never a Konoha clan, but the village had a long-standing alliance with Uzushiogakure until it was destroyed and the Shodaime's wife was an Uzumaki before she married into the Senju clan. Now it's your turn to introduce yourself, broody."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. My likes are unimportant and I dislike almost everything, especially fangirls. I don't have any hobbies and my dream, no, my _ambition_ is to kill a certain man and rebuild my clan."

Naruto blinked. "Did that 'certain man' kill the rest of the Uchiha, by any chance?"

Sasuke scowled blackly. "Hai."

"Can I help, please?" Naruto asked hopefully. "What?" he said as the other three ninja stared at him in surprise. "Some of the Uchiha chunnin in the military police were nice to me. They didn't deserve to be slaughtered by some lunatic."

"As if you could keep up, dobe," Sasuke eventually answered, dismissing him completely. Naruto didn't mind, though. The Uchiha hadn't said no.

"Ri-ight," Kakashi said. "Now we all know each-other, we can move on to the _real_ test..."

* * *

Naruto scowled thoughtfully into space from his seat on the swing near the academy. He'd been thinking over Kakashi's earlier words on the so-called survival exercise, and had come to the conclusion that his new sensei was as slippery as an eel. _So, two-thirds fail, do they? Nine teams created, meaning only three of those will actually become genin. Judging by where the clan kids are, that's our team, Hinata-chan's and Shikamaru's, so long as Sakura doesn't mess it up._

He swung himself forwards a little, wondering where Ame-nee was. She said she always knew where he was due to her bloodline, So Naruto couldn't fathom why she was running late.

"Naru-kun?"

Naruto hopped off the swing and turned to face the speaker. "Nee-chan!" He flung himself forward and hugged her around the waist, mindful of her growing belly.

"How did it go, Naru-kun?"

Naruto made a face. "I've got Haruno and Sasuke on my team. Sasuke's okay, despite being monosyllabic and in desperate need of therapy. Sakura's a rabid, squealing Uchiha fangirl though."

"It doesn't seem like they thought it through, putting her on a team with the object of her obsession," Ame-nee said mildly as she ruffled his hair, "it will divide the team's focus. And your sensei?"

"Chronically tardy Hatake," Naruto said sourly. "He looks like a pretty good ninja, but I really don't think he likes teaching genin."

"Kakashi?" Ame-nee's face lit up. "Kashi-kun is your sensei?"

"Ye- wait, 'Kashi-kun'?" Naruto craned his neck to stare up at his adopted big sister and almost-mother. "Ame-nee-chan, is Kakashi-sensei the Leaf-nin who got you pregnant?"

"Ano, Aa?"

Naruto's usually cheerful face darkened dramatically. "Do I get to kill him?"

"Iie, Naru-kun, you do not. He's asked me to marry him, I love him and I know he loves me. No killing my soul-mate."

"Oh. I still want to threaten him, please?" Naruto begged.

"If you must," Ame sighed. Naruto thought he heard her mutter something like, 'surrounded by overpowered, overprotective men' but he wasn't sure why she'd say something like that. Which reminded him...

"Ame-nee? What do genin have to do in order to pass their journin-sensei's test?" As the only genin on team seven with something approaching a shinobi parent, it was Naruto's duty to investigate. Especially since said almost-parent was his sensei's girlfriend.

"The test is generally geared towards finding out if the genin team in question shows whatever ninja virtues or skills the specific journin-sensei values most. That could be perseverance, stealth, teamwork or the ability to gather accurate and pertinent information, to name a few."

"Can you tell me anything about Kakashi-sensei's test?"

"Well, it's the same test his sensei gave his team, who got it from _his_ sensei, who got it from his sensei the Sandaime before he was hokage, who got it from the Nidaime who was _his_ journin-sensei. I think the Nidaime invented it, but I'm not entirely sure of that."

Naruto's eyes and mouth were almost perfect 'o's. "It's a famous test? A test for future hokages?"

"Infamous is the word," Ame-nee chuckled. "None of Kakashi's teams have ever passed his test before."

Naruto considered this quietly as he followed Ame-nee across town towards her house._ If none of his teams have ever passed before, that suggests that the test is not a straightforward one. And Kakashi has already shown he gets a kick out of misleading people. That 'don't eat or you'll throw up' thing, for one. No way will he arrive on time, and two to three hours is plenty of time to digest breakfast in._

_Plus, this a test for hokages and future hokages! Now way am I gonna lose!_

Ever since Hibana-nee had introduced the blond to the concept of critical thinking, Naruto had taken to it like a duck to water. With Hatake Kakashi, Naruto wasn't going to run out of things to be critical of any time soon.

On that note...

"Ame-nee, you said Kakashi-sensei's your fiancé?"

"Hai, he is."

"Are you living with him?" Naruto firmly ignored what his sensei and surrogate parent were likely doing to each-other and had definitely already done to each-other, considering Ame-nee's pregnancy.

"Hai."

"So, I'm going to have a meal to celebrate my graduation at the home of my journin-sensei, who incidentally will probably fail me tomorrow if my team can't work out how to past his hokage-candidate level test?" Naruto persisted.

"Technically yes, but Kakashi isn't in. He's gone out to the bar with all the other prospective journin-senseis to reflect on the quality of this year's crop of genin and the prospect of failing or teaching them."

"Does he know about you and me?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"No. I haven't mentioned you yet, mainly because it hasn't come up and I have no idea how to start that particular conversation," Ame-nee said. "We can tell him together after you pass your test if you like."

"You think I'll pass?"

"Of course you will! You're Uzumaki Naruto, my otouto, future hokage and most accomplished ninja of your age group! And even if your team does, through some unlikely disaster, fail to pass, I'll petition Sandaime to make you my apprentice. He wants me to share my skills with the village since I'm so dead-set against actually becoming a Konoha ninja."

Naruto gifted her with a rare, genuine, blindingly happy smile. "I love you, nee-chan."

"I love you too, otouto."

* * *

**Notes**

Aa = indeed; yes

Iie = no

Itadakimasu = traditional thanks spoken over food

Ano = er/um; expression of uncertainty

Nidaime = (great) second; second hokage

Sandaime = (great) third; third hokage

Hokage = fire shadow; title of the ninja with absolute authority over the village of Konohagakure and its ninja

A/N: Two storylines collide. Naruto has met Kakashi and is officially Not Impressed with his attitude.


	20. Kakashi: Perception

**Kakashi: Perception**

Kakashi wasn't quite sure what to make of his prospective genin team. True, Sasuke and Sakura were _exactly_ as advertised, but Naruto...

… _likes geisha? I didn't see that coming._

The blonde demon container was neither as loud or as idiotic as his profile had led the journin to believe. The supposed crush on Sakura was no more than mild sarcasm, well-concealed amusement and gentle mockery of her fangirl antics. The loud rivalry with Sasuke was closer to tacit cameraderie and _what the hell_ was up with his request to help Sasuke kill Itachi? _Had he really been friendly with some of chunnin in the military police when he was nine? _

Kakashi was also surprised by Naruto's apparent familiarity with the Uzumaki clan and its history. There was very little information on former Uzushiogakure available in Konoha, for all that the villages had been allies and leaf ninja still wore the Uzu spiral on their clothes in honour of that alliance. _Has Naruto been contacted by someone who knew the Uzumakis, or even another Uzumaki?_

The copy-nin _knew_ Naruto was his sensei's son; if the hair, eyes and ramen obsession didn't give it away, the quietly assessing way the boy had watched him throughout the introductions confirmed it. Sensei had always had an uncanny knack for reading him . That Namikaze Minato's girlfriend had been a loud-mouthed Uzumaki with a penchant for pranks -and nine months pregnant when the Kyuubi attacked- was the final nail in the coffin.

But what exactly had happened that night to force the Yondaime to seal the most terrible of the bijuu into his newborn son? And where, exactly, was Jiraya? The Toad Sage was supposed to be the boy's godfather, for heavens' sake!

_And just how did I manage to completely forget the child's existence? He is sensei's son; how did I not remember him before entering ANBU, nor recognise him upon leaving it?_ ANBU Inu had on numerous occasions protected a young Uzumaki Naruto from angry civilians and the occasional mob;_ How did I miss it?_

Kakashi idly shunted his empty glass across the bar top with one finger. Naruto was an enigma, an unpredictable mixture of both parents and a dash of something that was all his own; cheery loudmouth one minute, wickedly perceptive and empathetic the next. The journin hadn't missed his subtle interaction with the Uchiha._ Was the idiot act a cover? The file mentioned his genin examination was sabotaged by Mizuki; did any of his earlier senseis attempt something similar?_

That could be a serious problem. If the academy chunnin had deliberately left holes in Naruto's education and understanding of his ninja duties the boy would be a danger to himself and his team. _To hold a grudge against a child for something he is not responsible for; is this what my precious village has stooped to?_

He would have to discuss the possibility of Naruto's education being flawed with the Sandaime even if failed the boy. The blonde had the instincts, aptitude and drive to make an excellent ninja and despite his loud façade he was surprisingly good at remaining under the radar. Neither of his team-mates seemed to even be aware that the jinchuuriki was a year older than they were or that he'd originally been supposed to graduate at ten. _And probably would have graduated, had he been able to perform the clone jutsu._

Naruto's apartment, which Kakashi had a look at before going to collect his team, had also been a study in contradictions. It was surprisingly clean for a space occupied solely by a pre-teen boy and had a thriving population of potted plants scattered across every horizontal surface. However the only food in the cupboards had been instant ramen, the electricity had been cut off - the likely cause of the lumpy-sounding milk in the fridge - and the wardrobe had been not only populated by the expected bright orange jumpsuits but also dull grey kimono and hakama. The grey clothes indicated a good understanding of the principles and applications of stealth; it was likely that if Naruto covered his hair and whisker-marks and wore the grey outfit no-one would recognise him.

The simple blue and green woman's kimono and white obi were a touch disturbing, considering the person they belonged to had to be at least sixteen, but he'd heard about Naruto's newly infamous centrefold technique. _Has he been using the henge around the village?_

The journin sighed. While he owed Obito for his eye, he knew the long dead Uchiha would have felt a greater kinship for Naruto than for Sasuke, despite belonging to the same clan as the latter. Not only that, but while he owed Obito a great deal he owed Sensei more. Especially considering he'd ignored Naruto's existence until now. Baring in mind that Minato-sensei had wanted Kakashi to be a big brother to the child he and Kushina were expecting, the journin had a lot of catching up to do.

_But what do I do? I don't know how to teach genin; I was five when I was one and I learned everything by myself._

"Hey, Kakashi! Fail your latest team yet?" Genma leaned against the bar to his right, ever-present senbon protruding from his mouth.

I'm testing them tomorrow morning, Kakashi said, wondering absently what had caused the slight change in the tokubetsu journin's demeanour in the past few months. Genma was a little less tense and slightly more lively. No less alert and aware of his surroundings, just more at peace with himself.

He wasn't the only one, now Kakashi considered it. Anko had been slightly less erratic in public of late and the copy-nin was _sure_ he'd seen Ibiki looking less breathe-loudly-and-die recently.

"Who'd you get?" Genma asked.

"Haruno, Uchiha and Uzumaki."

"Uzumaki? Kid's got skills, painting the hokage monument without ANBU noticing. Or admitting they noticed, at least. I'm sure at least one of the latest batch has a sense of humour."

Kakashi blinked. "That was Naruto?"

Genma shook his head. "If I didn't know you had a very pretty girlfriend to distract you I'd think you lived under a rock. Yes, that _was_ Naruto. He managed to evade all attempts to capture him for three hours, too; the ANBU were extremely peeved. Their captain is increasing training and modifying patrol schedules since if a twelve-year-old can get through security then it needs serious improvement." Genma paused, senbon twitching. "What's the kid like?"

"... Confusing. What kind of twelve-year-old likes geisha?"

"One with good taste?" Genma offered, chuckling. "Kid really said that?"

"Likes ramen and geisha, wants to be hokage," Kakashi confirmed. "Smarter than he acts, too."

"I knew that," the other man said dismissively, "those pranks of his are genius. Did you know he put blue dye in the ANBU showers once?"

Kakashi's only visible eye widened. "Naruto did _what?_"

* * *

The next morning, two hours after he had said he would meet his team, Kakashi watched his three prospective students from the cover of one of the many trees surrounding training ground seven. Sakura, pink hair flowing loosely to her waist, fidgeted in irritation and shot fawning stares at the last Uchiha. Sasuke sat perfectly still, watching Naruto like an Aburame faced with a brand new species of insect.

Naruto looked completely different to the day before. Wearing one of the grey outfits Kakashi had seen in his wardrobe with the outline of the Uzu spiral painted on the back in white and the hakama taped securely around his ankles, the blond was meditating in an oddly contorted position. A bokken lay on the grass beside him, looking suspiciously well-used. _Has someone taught the boy kenjutsu?_

Kakashi remembered exactly how scary Uzumaki Kushina -nicknamed Akashi, Red Death- had been with a sword._ That scar still aches when it snows. And that was just a 'friendly' spar._

Judging by the jinchuuriki's relatively relaxed demeanour, Kakashi surmised that the boy had eaten breakfast and realised that the journin was unlikely to arrive on time. Sakura clearly hadn't eaten breakfast. _Probably skipped dinner last night too, in the guise of 'dieting'_ he reflected distastefully, _and expected me to be on time today._

Sasuke looked grumpy but resigned; the last Uchiha was not in the least surprised by the journin's tardiness -though he clearly found it irritating- which with his relaxed posture suggested that he, too, had eaten recently.

_So, two out of three. Coincidence or collaboration?_ Kakashi mused, then shrugged. _I'll find out later._ He shunshined of to the far side of the memorial stone, conveniently out of sight of the three genin. It had been a while since he'd had a chat with Obito and Sensei.

After another hour he strolled over to where his prospective students were waiting, a pair of bells jingling merrily at his hip.

"Hello you three!" he called out cheerfully.

"Your late, sensei!" the pink haired girl shouted irately.

"I'm so sorry, I had to help a little old lady with her groceries," Kakashi lied blandly.

"He was three hours late yesterday, Sakura-chan. Why would he be on time today?" Naruto asked mildly, unfolding himself and climbing to his feet, chakra slow and oddly thick. The blonde stretched, eyelids fluttering and granting the copy-nin a brief glimpse of scarlet. Then the jinchuuriki dropped his arms and opened his eyes, revealing sky-blue irises achingly similar to Minato-sensei's.

_I did not just imagine that. What was he doing? Does the hokage know he can tap into the power of the Kyuubi with such ease?_

_He's giving me a headache and he isn't even my student yet._

"Well, I'm here now. Your test is to collect one of these bells" -he flicked the bells hanging from his belt- "before noon, when this alarm will ring," he brandished the alarm clock.

"It's already after eleven, sensei," Sasuke bit out. The journin shrugged.

"Tough."

"Sensei, there are only two bells," Sakura ventured. "That's not enough for all of us."

"Then only two of you will pass, won't they?" Kakashi said pleasantly, setting the timer down on one of the three stumps lined up in the small clearing, "But in order to succeed in this exercise, you must come at me with the intent to kill."

The feral glee that filled Naruto's usually friendly features at this particular instruction made the journin unexpectedly nervous. _What did I ever do to him to merit such a reaction?_

"When do we start sensei?" the jinchuuriki asked eagerly, fang-like canines bared and chakra roiling.

"Start... now!"

Sasuke and Sakura vanished into the trees. Naruto charged, all three of him. Shocked by the abrupt appearance of the kage bunshin, Kakashi dodged a jab, sidestepped a punch and crouched to avoid a kick, pulling out his little orange book as he rose back up again. The Narutos froze, chakra suddenly poised predatorially.

"Is that... _Icha Icha?_" The blonde on the right hissed.

"It is," the one in the middle confirmed grimly. "He's a pervert."

The eyes of the left hand Naruto flared bloody crimson with slitted pupils, revealing that this one was the original. "KILL HIM!" he snarled, swiping suddenly razor-sharp nails at the journin and ripping through sleeve and skin.

Kakashi found himself having to put the book away again and take the fight with Naruto much more seriously as the jinchuuriki tore into him with bloodthirsty abandon, summoning more clones by the dozen. Some of the newcomers threw kunai or shuriken while others tried to crowd him, clutching at his legs and arms. The half-berserk red-eyed blonde stayed firmly on the journin's tail, kawarimi-ing with various clones to avoid blows and using his claws to great effect on the copy-nin's clothing and skin. Kakashi would have just escaped to test one of the others had he not been afraid of what Naruto would do in this state without a clear target to focus on. He would probably try to hunt down the journin, maybe even tearing through his would-be team-mates in his crazed fury.

Kakashi's journin vest had just foiled a particularly vicious and accurate attempted disembowelment when the journin decided that enough was enough and started fighting offensively, knocking clones away like ninepins. He'd just pinned the red-eyed boy to the ground when his eyes reverted to blue and he bared his teeth in triumph:

"Boom."

Kakashi barely kawarimi-ed away in time to avoid severe burns. As it was his shredded clothing was badly singed and any exposed skin had minor flash burns. _The brat knows bunshin bakuha? Why the hell wasn't that in his file? It bloody well should have been!_

"Look what I found, _sensei,_" came the low growl from halfway up the tree behind him. Kakashi turned to see Naruto perched on a branch about ten feet up, a silvery bell dancing between the fingers of his left hand. The red eyes narrowed, glaring down at him.

"I don't care though. This is personal now." The bell vanished inside his sleeve. "I absolutely _loathe_ perverts." The whisker-marks on the blond's face had widened, giving him a crazed, feral look.

"Maa, what did I ever do to you?" Kakashi stalled, debating internally whether to uncover his sharingan. _Pros, it will probably enable me to knock the boy out without seriously harming him; cons, I'll never hear the end of it when the other journin find out I had to use it against a genin. Never mind that he's the container of the most dangerous bijuu in existence._

Naruto growled again, claws carving deep gashes across the branch he was crouching on. "I've been raised by geisha since I was six. They taught me the things most kids learn from their parents. They were like sisters to me. Then when I was eleven a pervert attacked and tried to rape a maiko I cared about. _So I killed the bastard._"

Kakashi went completely still. This hadn't been in Naruto's file. None of it had, making the damn thing about as useful as a chocolate kunai. Naruto had had his first kill shortly after failing his first graduation exam and his academy teachers had completely missed the signs. Nobody knew.

Those crazed red eyes bore into Kakashi and the journin experienced a flashback to the one and only time he'd ever seen his sensei truly, furiously angry. _Narrowed eyes, check, Suffocatingly high KI, check, absolute focus of the offender, check, Body relaxed and poised to strike -screw it-_ Kakashi yanked his hitai-ite off his sharingan and dove out of the way just in time to avoid a bubbling, scarlet chakra coated claw to the face.

"DIE!" the jinchuuriki roared, his speed scarily close to journin level.

The copy-nin ducked, turned and weaved at top speed until he was able to hammer down on a pressure point on the boys neck, burning his hand on the corrosive chakra coating the genin's skin. Naruto dropped like a rock, red chakra vanishing like it had never been there. Kakashi poked the boy with his foot to make sure he wasn't faking then heaved the blond over his shoulder and carried him back to the three posts and the timer. He set the boy down on the ground, covered his sharingan again, retrieved the bell from the blond's sleeve and wandered off to where the other two genin where lurking.

_I think I'll have to pass them if only for Naruto's sake. I wouldn't trust any other journin to keep him safe and train him properly after that little display._

_I'll have to find something else to read, though._

_

* * *

_A/N: And that's the bell test. Poor Kakashi; so poorly informed on his most unpredictable student. This is an early update to celebrate the beginning of 2011, so Happy New Year, everyone!_  
_


	21. Kakashi: Discovery

**Kakashi: Discovery**

Hatake Kakashi was disappointed by two thirds of his prospective genin team. Sakura, when presented with a fairly obvious if traumatic genjutsu featuring her crush, had just fainted dead away. _So much for being the brightest girl in her year._ Sasuke, while considerably more competent in the formal ninja arts than Sakura or even Naruto, had completely missed the test's objective. Though the boy had conceded a willingness to work with 'the dobe' on the basis that the other boy 'wasn't as useless as he looked'. Unfortunately Naruto's unconsciousness made the point moot; they couldn't have teamed up anyway.

Naruto had actually achieved both the objectives of the bell test: he had retrieved a bell and worked flawlessly with his shadow clones. Kakashi had to concede that it had been a brilliant way to achieve the test's objectives without team-mates, a loophole he hadn't been aware of. _Then again, most genin lack the chakra reserves for even one kage bunshin. So do most chunnin, for that matter._ Kakashi paused, his brain ferreting out in minutes a relevant detail that had evaded the academy senseis for most of four years. _No wonder the kid can't do normal clones. He's got more chakra as a genin than two kages and almost no control._

When the timer rang Kakashi tied Sakura to the central post then nudged the still unconscious Naruto with his foot.

Naruto's response was not entirely unexpected; he was on his feet in an instant, kunai in hand. Kakashi noted again that the short blond was faster than he looked.

Naruto blinked wide, blessedly blue eyes. "Ano..?" He gazed up at his new sensei, swallowed hard, pocketed the kunai and bowed low. "Gomen nasai, Hatake-san. My loss of control was inexcusable."

The journin blinked at the uncharacteristically quiet formal tones and very polite words. He waved a hand at the blonde. "Maa, don't worry about it; forgiven, forgotten. We all have hot buttons."

"What's with that dobe?" Sasuke inquired, his body language screaming curiosity.

"The Uzumaki clan has berserker blood somewhere up the family tree," Naruto said shortly, sitting on the grass with a subdued look on his usually cheery face. "I very rarely lose my temper but when I do it gets... messy. I'm not fully conscious and rational when it happens."

_A berserker jinchuuriki._ Kakashi suppressed the urge to scream in frustration. _My life is complete. How did I ever survive without all these responsibilities?_ "Well," the journin said, "I would like to say that -while Naruto did manage to take a bell- you all missed the point of the test entirely. He and Sasuke should probably go back to the academy and Sakura should just give up entirely. You have all failed to grasp one of the most basic concepts every ninja needs to know."

"Wha- what! The baka got a bell?" Sakura screeched, wriggling against her bindings. "Sasuke's way better than he is!"

"And yet, Naruto got the bell," Kakashi said cheerfully. "What does that tell you about Sasuke's priorities?"

"Hn," the Uchiha grunted.

"It's teamwork isn't it sensei?" Naruto said. "You wanted to see if we could overcome our individual desires and work towards a common goal."

"Well, isn't that interesting; the dead-last figured out the bell test. They clearly aren't teaching you the right lessons in the academy if Naruto is the one who passes," Kakashi said dryly, goading the other two. "Didn't you miss half your classes last year, Naruto?"

"I was repeating the year, sensei; I knew what the lessons were already," the blonde replied snarkily. "Besides, the last six years of you failing teams tells me that this lesson isn't taught at the academy."

"True. Now I should just fail the lot of you, but Naruto going berserk made it impossible for you to even try to pass the test so I'll let you have another shot after lunch. However, since Sakura was spectacularly useless this morning she doesn't get any lunch. Am. I. Quite. Clear?" The last sentence was spoken threateningly as he loomed over his genin. _Was I ever that tiny?_

"Hai," Sasuke muttered.

"Arigatou, sensei," Naruto said, so quietly Kakashi almost missed it. How had so many ninja managed to miss what was underneath Naruto's loud mask? _Scratch that; how did they miss that the loud, attention-seeking behaviour _was_ a mask? This is basic ninja deception detection skills!_ The journin shunshined away into a tree to watch his team's reactions. _Hopefully they'll get it. Naruto needs a journin-sensei since there is no way he can be allowed to remain a civilian and he's been in the academy too long as it is._

Naruto and Sasuke both opened their bentos and started eating, Sakura watching mournfully from where she was tied to the post.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, pausing conversationally two thirds of the way through his lunch, "remember what happened the last two times we considered doing what our sensei told us to do?"

Sasuke paused, chopsticks suspended over his bento. "Hn."

"Exactly. I think he is trying to get us to think for ourselves through sheer frustration."

The Uchiha grunted again, head on one side.

"You too, huh? Well, Sakura will be even more useless if she hasn't eaten anything."

"I. Am. Not. Useless!" the pink haired girl hissed, drooping a bit as her stomach roared.

"Yes, you are," Sasuke said flatly, making Kakashi wince in his hiding place. "Eat something."

Sakura blinked slowly then brightened, eyes shining in rabid worship. "Sasuke-kun! You're so kind!" she squealed. "I..." she looked down at her arms, firmly lashed to her sides by the rope holding her against the post, "I can't use my arms. Sasuke-kun, would you..?" She batted her eyelashes at the boy.

"No," the Uchiha said, his tone forbidding protest.

"Here, Sakura-chan," Naruto said brightly, holding out a rice ball gripped between his chopsticks, "open wide!"

Kakashi watched for a few minutes as Naruto fed Sakura the remains of his and Sasuke's lunches, pondering the dynamic of the blond and brunet comedy duo. _For all his apparent denseness, Naruto understands Sasuke and can read him easily, drawing him out with little effort. Sasuke, for all hostility, actually respects Naruto just enough to listen to what he says and take his opinions seriously._

_This may work after all. Team seven lives!_

Kakashi shunshined down to the posts, scowling thunderously "YOU..."

...he paused dramatically...

"...pass." He eye-smiled at his gob-smacked little genin. "Before now you just did what I told you" -_mostly-_ "like good little automatons. But you are shinobi, not robots, and a ninja's duty is to look underneath the underneath, seeing what is hidden with clear eyes."

Kakashi walked over to the memorial stone and pointed at it. "This is where the names of Konoha's heroes are written. They all have one thing in common: they died protecting this village. The name of my best friend is on this stone." He turned to look at his new team -_team seven reborn; what do you think Obito, Sensei?_- and met each genin's eyes sternly. "You are team-mates, comrades, and I expect you to look out for each-other. Those who break the rules may be trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash." He paused, taking in their reactions.

Sakura looked slightly dazed, probably because she'd just eaten for the first time in almost twenty four hours. _I have to get her to stop dieting; Maybe Ame-koi can help?_

Sasuke looked thoughtful. The Uchiha clearly accepted Naruto as a comrade, meaning getting him to work with the team would be far easier than the journin had initially feared.

Naruto was clearly both determined and excited, eager to have comrades -_friends?_- for what was probably the first time in his life. _I may have failed him up until now, Sensei, but I will make up for it._

"Meet me back here at nine tomorrow morning for team training and your first mission," Kakashi said, waving goodbye to his genin and shunshining off to the hokage's tower to report.

* * *

In the Sandaime's office all the journin who had tested teams were standing around, having to take it in turns to tell the hokage who had passed and who had failed.

"So Kakashi, did -what happened to you?" the Sandaime asked, lowering in his surprise at the copy-nin's tattered and singed appearance.

"My new students," Kakashi replied shortly, acutely aware of his slashed journin vest, sleeves torn to ribbons and the cuts and superficial burns decorating every inch of exposed skin. "Team seven pass."

"Did one of them ambush you with explosive tags?" Sarutobi Asuma, journin-sensei to the new team ten, asked. His amusement at the copy-nin's bedraggled appearance was tangible.

"It turns out that Uzumaki Naruto learned bunshin bakuha as well as kage bunshin during his little adventure with the forbidden scroll," Kakashi replied evenly, wishing he'd had the presence of mind to change before reporting in. It wasn't like they would have commented on his being late. "He gave me a good run for my money. I'm amazed he didn't graduate earlier, considering that the only reason he can't perform bunshin is his frankly ridiculous chakra capacity. Speaking of which; might I have a word with you in private after the meeting, Sandaime-sama?"

"Bunshin bakuha?" Yamashiro Aoba, one of the journin who had failed his team, asked incredulously. "Hell, I don't have the chakra for that!"

"Blew me up, cut me up, mobbed me with shadow clones and came damn close to disemboweling me," Kakashi responded coolly, fingering the low, jagged rip in his journin vest. "I should have remembered that Uzumakis were famous for their explosive tempers before provoking him."

Yuuhi Kurenai's red eyes widened; as a journin level kunoichi she had investigated the handful of famous female journin Konoha had produced. "Naruto-kun is a berserker? Like the Akashi was?"

There was an electrified pause. Kakashi was glad he wasn't the only one to find the idea of the cheerful blond being a berserker irrationally scary. _Then again, he is a jinchuuriki. So perhaps it's not irrational at all._

"Only slightly," Kakashi said once he felt he'd spooked his fellow journin enough. "But enough that I had to work at not inflicting lethal blows. One does not expect a green genin to actually try to kill you when provoked."

"Quite," the hokage said dryly. "This meeting is over. Kakashi, please remain."

After the other journin had filed out and the Sandaime had activated the seals of the privacy jutsu Kakashi started talking in earnest:

"Uzumaki Naruto had his first kill aged eleven; probably not long after failing his first graduation exam. The person killed was a rapist attacking a maiko Naruto knew and was friends with. As a result of this experience he reacted very badly when I started reading Icha Icha during the bell test. By 'very badly' I mean he went half-berserk and tapped into the Kyuubi. Considering how furious he was, I'm amazed he didn't alert half the village with his outburst."

"He tapped into the power of the bijuu because you were reading Icha Icha?" the hokage repeated faintly, no doubt concerned for his own stash of little orange books.

"I suspect the rapist he killed mentioned Icha Icha or had some easily recognised connection to it. That could explain Naruto's development of a thought process that seems to go: Icha Icha = pervert = that rapist = kill; though that really needs to be investigated," Kakashi admitted. "As for the fox, Naruto's eyes went red and slitted, his whisker-marks deepened and his fingernails sharpened to claws. Towards the end of the fight he manifested a thin red chakra shroud covering his entire body-" the copy-nin's left hand twinged, the youki burns making themselves felt "-at which point I used my sharingan to give me an edge and knock him out. When he woke up again half an hour later he was very quiet, polite and deeply apologetic." The journin paused. "Why was none of this in his file? The kill occurred almost two years ago and Naruto _knew_ he had berserker tendencies so how did the academy sensei's miss it? How did the village's _entire ninja population_ miss the fact that Naruto goes completely berserk when sufficiently angered, especially considering how the civilians treat him? The boy must have the patience of a saint!" Kakashi reigned in his temper. Shouting at the hokage wouldn't help. "He is also far more observant and intuitive than his profile indicates. Not very book-smart, but acutely aware of his surroundings and fellow ninja. In light of these discoveries I suspect his latest graduation exam was not the first time his education has been sabotaged."

"I will have to _investigate_ that myself," Sarutobi Hiruzen growled, radiating KI at the idea of the boy he loved like a grandson -and had already suffered so much- having his education sabotaged.

"I suspect willful neglect more than anything else, hokage-sama. I do believe that there is a third party bolstering his education, however: he is highly proficient at calming his chakra through meditation and brought a well-used bokken to the training field. He also knows a lot about the Uzumaki clan and seems to have access to material not publicly available within the village."

"What else?" The Sandaime looked very old and tired when confronted with the sudden influx of new information that mocked him with how little he really knew about Uzumaki Naruto.

"He has no genuine interest in Haruno Sakura and gets on well enough with Uchiha Sasuke for the latter to consider Naruto's opinions and factor them into his decisions," Kakashi replied. "Likes geisha, doesn't like prejudice or wilful blindness. Wants to fulfil his potential and become the greatest hokage ever."

"Thank-you Kakashi, you have given me a great deal to think about."

"Just get that file updated; the information that isn't in it nearly got me killed since I wasn't expecting an intelligence failure _inside_ the village."

"We may have become complacent; I'll have to investigate that, too."

Kakashi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Permission to investigate the Hanamachi in search of information pertaining to Uzumaki Naruto's first kill, hokage-sama?"

"Granted," the Sandaime sighed. "Thank-you for passing him."

"He actually got a bell, hokage-sama," Kakashi eyesmiled. "and he's a good ninja. I'll have to get some different reading material, though."

* * *

**Notes**

jinchuuriki = power of human sacrifice; a person who is sacrificed for the good of his or her village by having a bijuu sealed within them

bijuu = a tailed beast; sentient chakra constructs that assume the form and behavior patterns of various animals. The number of tails indicates a power hierachy; nine in total

bokken = wooden blade used in kenjutsu practice to prevent severe injuries. Can be a lethal weapon in its own right if properly wielded

hanamachi = flower district; area dominated by pleasure-related businesses, mainly geisha

A/N: Kakashi proves himself a more competent ninja and sensei than the entire academy chunnin population put together and gets to meet the Real Naruto.


	22. Naruto: Respite

**Naruto: Respite**

The day of his so-called 'survival exercise' Naruto woke up bright and early so he could eat and digest breakfast with time to spare. After finishing his meal he washed and dressed in his grey practice clothes, found his bokken and practised sword kata until it was half an hour before Kakashi had told them to meet. Not that he believed for a moment that the journin would be on time; the copy-nin didn't have a punctual bone in his body.

He armed up with kunai and shuriken before leaving his apartment, activating the new security seals he'd designed -which kept everyone with less than high level ANBU reserves out- and making his way to the training field, bokken tucked into his belt to continue practice in the likely event of his sensei being late.

Sakura and Sasuke were already there when he reached training ground seven; Kakashi-sensei, rather predictably, was not. Naruto moved to the centre of the clearing and went back to practising wakizashi kata with his bokken.

"What are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke asked, tone conversational and almost friendly.

"I've got a couple of scrolls on Uzumaki kenjutsu so I'm learning the kata," Naruto explained without slowing, concentrating on the sliding, circular sword moves and the swirling footwork. Uzuken, swirling blade, was a difficult if efficient style. The first tier of kata were entirely focused on defence, redirecting the enemy's blade and turning around him. Later kata would teach him the next step, striking at the vulnerable spots the style's swirling movements exposed.

"Hn." Sasuke watched for a while, ignoring Sakura's attempts at conversation until he eventually walked over to join the blond: "Spar, dobe?"

"Sure. Taijutsu and kenjutsu only? I haven't tried using this against a real opponent yet, so watch out. You did eat before coming, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm not Sakura, dobe."

"Oi! Less of the dobe, teme!"

"Hn."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Here I come!"

The spar was quick, decisive and brutal. Naruto won as soon as he got the hang of how to use the defensive moves he had been practising offensively.

"Hn."

"Don't be like that, teme. Most Taijutsu styles are at a natural disadvantage when used against kenjutsu, even when you use kunai. This," Naruto patted his bokken, "extends my reach. Counter that and you'll match me, easily. If you learn to use any kind of blade or pole arm you'll even the odds. Even a chain weapon would work. Well, that or learn a taijutsu style geared towards defeating armed opponents."

"Hn."

"There's got to be a decent weapons shop somewhere in this village; they'll have a selection to choose from and will be able to give you pointers on whichever one you pick. You may even have some weapons scrolls lying around somewhere in your clan compound. There have to have been _some_ Uchiha who specialised in kenjutsu."

"Hn."

That dealt with, Naruto went back to katas for another hour before settling down to meditate until his sensei arrived.

"What are you doing now, Naruto?" Sakura asked a little stridently. Naruto guessed she was irritated that Sasuke had actually had a conversation with him while she had been ignored entirely.

"Meditating, Sakura-chan. I have very active chakra and meditation helps me calm it so I can use jutsu properly."

Sasuke actually looked interested. "Hn?"

"I have far too much chakra for a normal person my age, so standard academy chakra control exercises are useless to me. This helps, but doesn't solve the problem; it's a stop-gap measure rather than a control technique," Naruto explained, resting his forearms on the ground and flexing his spine backwards until his toes rested against his forehead. "Hopefully after we pass sensei's test he'll teach us some more advanced control exercises. Tons of chakra is useless when you overload every single jutsu you know."

The conversation over, Naruto concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly, spreading the calm throughout his body and into the tight, hot knot of anger in his gut which he had recently learned was actually the Kyuubi no Yoko. Meditation seemed to placate it as well, loosening the bubbling power so it flowed more smoothly and calmly. He continued to bask in self-imposed peace, soothing the bijuu locked behind the seal on his stomach until he sensed the approach of the unique chakra presence that was his sensei. _How does he manage to have a second, much smaller and very different chakra signature nestled inside the main one? It's centred in his head; maybe there _is_ something in the eyesocket behind that slanted hitai-ite..._

* * *

After the test Naruto was both delighted and subdued. Delighted because, well, he'd passed; subdued because he'd well and truly lost his rag at Kakashi-sensei, which was terribly mortifying. A ninja had to be in full control of his emotions otherwise he was a liability in the field. Of course, he probably wouldn't have reacted so badly to his new sensei being a pervert if he hadn't been aware that the journin was dating and engaged to Ame-kaa -_no, she's my sister not my mother-_ Ame-nee-san. Ame-chan was his most precious person, even more so than hokage-jiji and Iruka-sensei, and Naruto had a bad history with perverts.

Worse, he knew he'd channelled the fox in his rage. Fortunately it hadn't been particularly angry at the time; the viscous red chakra had been positively sleepy. _Thank-you Hibana-bunshin for teaching me meditation. _As it was he'd nearly blown up his new sensei and tried to to carve the laid back journin into mincemeat. Kakashi-sensei been understanding however, which had been a pleasant surprise and more than he had hoped for.

Naruto bid his new team-mates goodbye after cutting Sakura loose from the stump Kakashi-sensei had left her tied to and set off to find Ame-nee. He had noticed a serious problem in his schedule he needed her help solving.

He tracked her down in the flower shop, talking to a man Naruto recognised as Yamanaka Inoichi, Morino Ibiki's former sensei and the previous head of the Torture and Interrogation department.

"Naru-kun!" Ame-nee exclaimed as soon as the blond genin let himself into the shop, her star spangled eyes twinkling happily. "Come and help me pick flowers for my new and very large garden."

Naruto walked further into the shop, eyeing Inoichi-san cautiously. He'd never actually interacted with the blond journin before, so had no idea how the man felt about his jinchuuriki status and nine-tailed tenant. The older blond seemed to find his appearance somehow unexpected. _Why..? Oh, I'm not wearing orange, of course. No wonder people weren't glaring in the street; nobody recognised me._

"What have you chosen so far, Ame-nee?" Naruto asked.

"Well, I've got several little azelea bushes, some lilac, camellias, trumpet vine, lady's smock, spider lily and half a dozen different orchids. Tiger-san was kind enough to grow me lots of different ornamental tree species while he was reforesting the compound, so I only need flowers and shrubs," Ame-nee said cheerfully, right hand absently cradling her swollen belly.

"Ano, how about strawberry plants? They're kinda pretty and you can eat the fruit," Naruto suggested tentatively, eyeing his nee-san's stomach warily. _Did it just move?_ "And yellow bedstraw. It's big and a bit untidy but it smells really nice." Naruto had recently come to the conclusion that his extra-sensitive sense of smell -and taste, touch and hearing- were bijuu-related. It explained why no-one else noticed how certain plants had a bitter undertone to their scent denoting toxicity and why he was picky about what he ate. _And why no-one truly appreciates that Ichiraku ramen is the food of the gods._

"Okay, that's two more," Ame-nee said, nodding to Inoichi-san who immediately fetched seeds and strawberry cuttings, "and a nice hydrangea bush or two I think."

"What kind of hydrangea would you like, Amemai-san?" the Yamanaka asked.

"A mountain hydrangea and two other varieties please; I don't care which so long as they look different and are pretty," she said decisively, "It isn't like we are short of space." The pregnant woman paused. "I would also like some kunai grass, Inoichi-san. The name has always amused me and it is both pretty and useful.

Naruto blinked. "Kunai grass?"

Ame-nee smiled at him. "It is shaped like your throwing blades and the edges of the spikes are sharp."

"Oh." Naruto racked his brains for more pretty garden flowers that were not overly offensive to his sensitive nose. "Irises? Lillies? Kerria?" Kerria was a kind of yellow rose he'd seen -and smelt- growing amongst the ruins left in the slums from the Kyuubi attack. It was very pretty, a cheerful yellow colour.

"Yes and definitely lilies; I've always loved them despite the rather sad symbolism. Especially sukashiyuri. Lots of different lilies please Inoichi-san."

"You'll need to hire a genin team to carry all your purchases at this rate, Amemai-san," Inoichi joked, smiling at his customer.

"Naruto-kun? Do you think your clones will be able to carry my shopping for me?" Ame-nee asked playfully. Naruto lifted his chin firmly:

"Of course, nee-san! Believe it!" He paused, tapping his mouth with a finger. "Lily of the valley? It grows nicely under trees and smells gorgeous. So does honeysuckle."

"Suikazura? Why didn't I think of that?" Ame-nee exclaimed. "Yes to both; you're very good at this, Naru-kun." Naruto smiled shyly at the praise and the nickname; at least she didn't call him 'Naru-chan' like Hibana-nee used to.

"When did you meet Naruto, Amemai-san?" Inoich asked as he moved more seedlings and corms.

"About a month after I arrived; I tracked him down, to be perfectly honest with you. He has one of the loveliest souls I have ever seen anywhere, even compared to miko and hoshi," Ame-nee said warmly, the myriad stars in her eyes glittering brilliantly. "So bright and forgiving, generosity incarnate. Being around him is a joy, he has such a comforting spiritual presence." She paused. "I would also like Black mondo grass for ground-cover in the formal garden I have planned. Some fern as well I think; little ones, dwarf if possible. And Kinugasasou; I've always found that so pretty."

"How about Fuki?" Naruto suggested. "You can even eat Fuki: I've had it on ramen."

"Sure, Naru-kun, I'll grow you some Fuki. Baby roses too please Inoichi-san, as well as rugosa roses."

"Hamanasu, Ame-san? Of course. I have plenty of that: It is very popular."

"Thank-you Inoichi-san. I'd also like broadleaf bamboo to go under my new trees and some creeping saxifrage. Such an attractive and useful plant, saxifrage."

"Goldenrod? Star jasmine? Valerian?" Naruto suggested, by now enjoying himself thoroughly. The small forest of bags spreading over the counter and across the floor that he would have to carry were well worth the increasingly dazed look on Inoichi-san's face as Ame-nee bought half the shop.

"Yes to all of those as well as Yama-budo and wisteria, Inoichi-san."

"Miyamamatatabi? Those are yummy," Naruto added hopefully. He didn't like most vegetables, but fresh fruit was really, really nice. Sweet and fresh and gentle on his stomach.

Ame-nee reached over and ruffled his hair. "Fine. I'll buy a selection of fruiting bushes and vines, please. Oh, and a couple of Ponkan trees if you have them."

Inoichi-san chuckled. "You'll have kids raiding your garden in droves, Amemai-san."

"Chishanoki is nice too, Ame-nee," Naruto said, remembering how sweet the tiny fruits were.

"I'd do better to ask Tiger-san to help me with that one, Naru-kun," Ame-nee said. "Those are proper trees and very tall. I will get Kaki if Inoichi-san has them, though."

"Ooh! Yummy!"

"Have you eaten lunch, Naru-kun?" Ame-nee teased. "You seem to be thinking with your stomach!"

"Yes I have; Kakashi-sensei gave us bentos-" Naruto blinked. He'd completely forgotten! "Nee-chan! I did it! My team passed! I'm a proper genin!"

Ame-nee's face lit up and she pulled him into a hug. "Congratulations Naruto-otouto! I'm so proud of you!"

"Arigatou, Ame nee. Hey, your tummy poked me!"

Ame-nee chuckled. "The babies are big enough to respond to outside stimuli now, Naru-kun, generally by kicking." She placed his hand over her belly to let him feel the odd bumps. "See? If you listened you could hear their heartbeats, too."

"May I?" At Ame-nee's nod Naruto gingerly pressed his ear against the fabric covering her straining stomach. "Hey, I really can hear them." His eyes widened, "That is _soooo_ amazing! You're so cool, Ame-nee!"

His star-eyed sister-mother figure smiled at him. "It is good to see my hard work being appreciated, Naru-kun. Though you are nowhere _near_ as entranced as Kakashi-kun; he behaves like I'm the first woman to ever attempt pregnancy."

Inoichi chuckled. "Is Hatake Kakashi a paranoid prospective father, Amemai-san? I remember how I was when my Tsuma was expecting Ino-chan. She got so cross with me."

"Not really," Ame-nee said, smiling with wicked amusement. "He feeds me when I'm hungry, makes me rest when I get tired, stands there and takes it when my emotions go wonky and I rant or cry and barely asks any questions at all. I think he's treating pregnancy like some completely off-the-wall mission he's been assigned to with me as the officer in charge. It's pleasantly refreshing, actually; my own family all acted like I was dying or some such but Kakashi-kun just lets me get on with it and gestate."

The Yamanaka laughed. "Now that _does_ sound like Kakashi-san. I doubt he's spent any time at all around pregnant women before now."

"His faith in my competence is flattering," Ame-nee agreed, eyes twinkling cheerily, "Now how much does that come to, Inoichi-san?"

* * *

**Notes**

tsuma = wife, spouse

A/N: A bit of a filler chapter, but otherwise the section would have been too long for my liking. All the plants listed are native to Japan. Ponkan is a type of sweet orange.


	23. Naruto: Cost

**Naruto: Cost**

When they left the Yamanaka flower shop, Naruto and his Ame-nee following in the wake of a horde of laden-down Naruto clones, the blond genin remembered what he'd wanted to ask his nee-san in the first place.

"Ame-nee?"

"Hai, Naru-kun?"

"Could you make me a special bunshin like Hibana-nee? I'm worried about missions clashing with appointments," he explained carefully, keenly aware that they were out in public where anyone could overhear.

"I can help you make one Naruto-otouto, but it will cost you. Not money; cost you inside. Those bunshin are kinjutsu for a reason," Ame-nee said quietly, "but I do agree with you. It would solve your dilemma nicely."

"You'll help?" he asked hopefully.

"Hai," she said gravely, "now attend. For the shintai bunshin you need to find a person of the appropriate age and gender -in your case a woman of Benihime's age- who wants to die." Ame-nee paused as they approached the expanded Hatake clan grounds. "And you must get her to ask you to kill her and grant her wish." the night-eyed caramel blonde continued once they were safely inside the many privacy barriers embedded in the walls of the compound. "She must die willingly without coercion and agree to let you have her body to use as you wish after her death."

"Nee-san?" Naruto croaked, barely able to comprehend the horrific cost of the technique. _I have to kill someone? An innocent, who never hurt anyone? I have to commit murder? Just for a jutsu to make my life easier?_

"It is a forbidden technique for good reason, my Naru-chan," Ame-nee said gently, eyes mournful. "The willing gifting of the body in exchange for death is what makes the bunshin created so perfect. I can give you an appropriate blade and a scroll to transport the body in. That is, provided you still wish to proceed with your plan." She raised a hand to forestall a hasty reply. "Bare in mind that the for person you would be killing death would be a welcome mercy."

Naruto swallowed hard. _This is what being a ninja is really about. Difficult choices. Thank-you, Genma-san, for the lesson you didn't even realise you were teaching me._

_The jutsu will enable me to fulfil my obligations to my clients rather than neglect or abandon them to pursue my career. I am a geisha now as well as a ninja and I have a duty. My desires are irrelevant; the client's well-being is paramount._

"Hai, Ame-ka-, Ame-nee," Naruto whispered hoarsely, "I'll do it."

"Did you just nearly call me 'okaa-san', Naru-chan?"

"Gomen nasai Ame-nee! It's just, Hibana-bunshin was my nee-san but you're her original and you're sort of more than she was so that makes you sort of her kaa-san, so-"

Ame pounced, hugging him close. "I don't mind, Naru-chan. In fact, I'm honoured to be your kaa-san. Like I told Inoichi-san, you are a very special young man. You will make a wonderful onii-san to all my children, both the adopted ones and the babies."

"Ame-kaa-san," Naruto mumbled, almost dizzy with relief and hugging her back frantically.

"Shh, Shh, it's all just fine musuko mine. Kaa-san's here," the starry-eyed woman crooned, rocking from side to side and ruffling his hair gently. Once the short blond had calmed down again she sat down next to him on the steps leading to the side door nearest the kitchen, where the shadow clones had left the bags of plants before dispelling.

"Now, Naru-kun, are you going to find a shintai right away or go to the okiya early?"

"I..." Naruto didn't know. He really didn't.

"Or you could stay here for a while, help me plant some of my new purchases and unnerve Kakashi when he gets back," Ame-kaa-san suggested playfully.

That sounded like fun. Naruto smiled a little, his prankster side coming to the fore. "I'd like that, Kaa-san,"

Naruto was on his hands and knees planting lily corms under Ame-kaa-san's watchful eyes when Kakashi-sensei finally made an appearance. He shunshined in behind Ame -_he's taken the time to change his clothing and have the superficial burns treated,_ Naruto noticed- wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck, making her squeak and giggle.

"Kashi! Stop that; we have a guest!"

"Hm?" Kakashi-sensei looked up and his eye zeroed in on Naruto, who had stopped planting corms to watch.

_Ame-kaa-san really does like him and Sensei loves her back. Good._

"Naruto? What are you doing on my clan grounds?"

Naruto smiled sweetly, eyes squinted foxily. "I met Ame-kaa-san at the Yamanaka flower shop and offered to carry her bags," he said, oozing innocence and wickedly gleeful at the way his new sensei had _twitched_ when he said 'Ame-kaa-san'. "Then I offered to help her plant her new flowers since she's kinda awkward at the moment being pregnant and well," he waved a grubby hand across the courtyard area flanked on three sides by the main house and two wings, drawing the journin's attention to the young plants in the flowerbeds, "here I am. Gardening is fun!"

"When did you meet my most energetic student, Ame-koi?" Kakashi-sensei asked cautiously.

"Nearly a month ago Kashi. He has one of the brightest souls I've ever seen; I couldn't not get to know him, koi."

"Ame-kaa-san is _sooo_ cool!" Naruto bounced to his feet happily, his good cheer restored after an hour and a half of grubbing in the dirt. "She sent Inoichi-san into a tizzy when she bought half the flower shop! His eyes went all unfocused and sort-of crossed!"

"Really?" the journin looked mildly impressed. "'Ame-kaa-san', koi?"

"He's so cute and so caring, I couldn't say no," Ame-kaa-san admitted freely. "I first saw him in passing back when he was six and had my contact here keep an eye on him for me. Such a bright soul should be nurtured, not broken."

"Contact?" Kakashi-sensei sounded a tad suspicious, which probably meant he was contemplating how many national secrets the pregnant woman had stumbled into and how much trouble there would be once her involvement got out.

"I have business interests in Konoha, Kashi-kun. Financial investments. My contact ensured my money wasn't being wasted and looked out for Naru-chibi here when he was younger," Ame-kaa-san explained gently. Naruto was impressed by the skill with which his kaa-san danced around the truth, never once lying but not telling the whole story. _I have got to learn to do that; it's much more effective than trying to lie convincingly._

"Hibana-nee was really nice," Naruto put in wistfully, doing his bit to reinforce the story, "I like geisha."

Kakashi-sensei looked bemused. "Your contact was a geisha?"

"Most of my contacts are. They are educated, independent women and are welcomed into all the major commercial centres in the elemental countries. You know perfectly well that I trained and practised myself before meeting you," Ame-kaa-san explained, playing absently with the journin's hand. Naruto couldn't read his sensei very well, but the slight hint of arousal he caught on the breeze told him that Kakashi was finding her soft caresses extremely distracting. _I'm not staying to watch that._

"Ame-kaa-san? I have to go home now; I need to do laundry and stuff," the whisker-marked genin said, brushing dirt off the knees of his hakama.

"Thankyou for your help, Naru-kun; I'll see you again another day. Remember to eat a proper dinner!" she called after him.

"Hai, kaa-san!" Naruto shouted as he ran for the gates of the compound and let himself out. _We so totally unnerved Kakashi-sensei!_ Now he just had to get to the okiya without getting caught by Hinata...

* * *

After his evening appointments were complete Naruto did not go to bed. Instead he meditated for an hour, changed into a fresh set of grey clothing and tucked the tanto and multi-compartmental storage scroll Ame-kaa-san had lent him into his obi. _I need to get this out of the way as soon as possible. You never know when something will come up and Benihime needs to be firmly established as a completely separate person._

He climbed silently out of his window and carefully moved from roof to roof towards the bad part of town; not a long journey. _I have a girl to find._

Hibana-nee had spent a good chunk of the previous three years teaching Naruto to suppress his own chakra and sense that of others, even civilians. He had no idea how his skills compared to other ninja, but the blonde was now competent enough to sense emotions through chakra and suicidal despair had a flavour all its own.

He found what he was looking for in a semi-illegal yakuza brothel operating out of a basement under a warehouse. Ten girls aged between nine and seventeen, all broken inside. The oldest was the oddity, the other nine all being fifteen years old or less. Naruto waited, patient as stone, until the last customer left a few hours before dawn and henged into a dove to fit between the bars on the window. What he was about to do sickened him, but at least in death the girls would be able to escape. They were all to far gone for anything less.

The girls stared at the dove incuriously from where they were chained to the walls, ankle manacles clinking softly as they shuffled on their pallets.

Naruto deliberately morphed his henge into an androgynous young man with white feathers for hair and wings sprouting from his shoulder blades. "you have prayed for death, Shoujo-sans. I can grant it to you, for a price," he murmured, his heart breaking into tiny, brittle pieces as every single face brightened eagerly.

"Please, Tenshi-san," the oldest pleaded hoarsely.

"Please, please," the younger ones chorused in muffled tones, clearly afraid of being overheard and having their chance stolen from them.

Naruto quietly went from girl to girl, starting from the youngest, and -once they promised him 'everything, anything'- severed their spines with his tanto: quick, clean and painless. He couldn't hold back the tears seeping from his eyes and down his cheeks, though. _No nine year old should beg for death so earnestly; why are so many humans such monsters?_

The oldest, the one he'd come here for, watched him with the serene detachment of the truly broken. "You weep for us," she commented.

"Nobody should suffer as you and your companions have," Naruto replied evenly, his voice a little husky from holding his grief inside.

"But now the pain is over, Tenshi-san. Anything of mine that you desire you make take once I am dead. Now please, free me."

Naruto sliced through her spinal cord in one clean swing, ending her life instantly. Then he hurriedly sealed all ten bodies into the scroll -grateful that Ame-kaa-san had seen fit to supply him with a large one- made his escape out of the window and hurried back to his apartment. Once safely home he flung the scroll under the sofa, dashed into his bedroom and sobbed bitterly into his pillow, wishing vainly that there had been something -_anything at all_- he could have done for those girls other than put them out of their misery.

* * *

Dawn came far too soon for Naruto. He showered, changed into a new set of clothes and threw himself into practicing kata while a shadow clone read more of the next Uzumaki fuuinjutsu book Ame-kaa-san had given him. After three hours of continuous practice Naruto ate as large a breakfast as he could stomach and set out for the training field. Even if his sensei was late Sasuke would probably be there and he doubted the other boy would object to a taijutsu spar.

Kakashi-sensei was less late than he could have been and chivvied team seven along to the missions office for their first D-rank mission. Naruto was quiet: the after-effects of his recent kills compounded on his lack of sleep made him miserable and distracted. His grief was even effecting the Kyuubi, making it -and subsequently his own chakra- unsettled and erratic. Sakura seemed to find his silence profoundly unnerving and kept glancing at him sideways as if she expected him to be someone else.

After the very quiet mission -weeding, where an inattentive Naruto had to be prevented from stripping the flowerbed bare- Kakashi-sensei took the three genin back to training ground seven and ordered Sakura and Sasuke to each do one hundred pushups and situps. Once the two started the exercises the journin firmly gripped Naruto's shoulder and dragged him out of earshot of his team-mates, over to the memorial stone.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" he asked simply.

"..." Naruto didn't know what to say. _Can I trust him?_

_Kaa-san trusts him. She loves him._

_I trust kaa-san._

"Sensei?" Naruto's voice sounded very small and distant in his own ears.

"Hai, Naruto-kun?" the journin responded gently, dropping his lanky frame so he was kneeling on the grass, lone eye level with Naruto's.

"Has, has anyone ever begged you to kill them? Really, truly begged because life has hurt them so badly they just wanted the pain to stop?" Naruto closed his eyes tightly as tears began to seep from them, hoping his kaa-san's trust was not misplaced.

Kakashi-sensei pulled him close, arms wrapping around him comfortingly. "What happened Naruto-kun?" he murmured softly.

"She, she was seventeen or maybe sixteen. I think she was a brothel girl, one of the yakuza ones who got taken really young. I live over on the edge of the bad side of town, see, and I practice my stealth down there between the warehouses and the crumbling buildings. I was in an alleyway and I saw her. She was so dead inside, really dead, even her chakra was dead and she saw me, saw I had a knife and her eyes just _lit up_ and she _begged_-" Naruto ran out of words and self control. He latched onto Kakashi-sensei's journin vest and howled his grief into the man's shoulder, shaking like a sapling in a high wind.

"Shh, sh," the journin crooned, rubbing circles on the blond's back to comfort him. "I'm here, Naruto-kun. It's okay."

"No it's not, I _killed_ her," Naruto managed to hiccup between sobs.

"You gave her freedom; granted her greatest wish. While incredibly difficult for you, I believe you did the right thing," Kakashi-sensei said quietly. "some wounds are too deep for even the most gifted medic-nin to heal. You ended her pain; she wouldn't want you to punish yourself for it."

"Still hurts," Naruto sniffed. _It's okay. He didn't flip out or call me a monster. He thinks I did the right thing. He cares._

His sensei ruffled his hair. "The day killing people stops hurting is the day you cease to be human and the day you enjoy it is the day you become a monster. The pain will dull in time, though. I promise."

"I don't like killing people," Naruto said firmly, voice muffled by Kakashi's now rather damp journin vest. "It feels all wrong, like sour milk and mouldy bread in my stomach."

"I'm afraid that being a ninja involves quite a bit of killing, Naruto-kun," Kakashi-sensei said tiredly. Naruto glanced up at his teacher, taking in the distant look in his eye that was so like how Genma had looked those times he'd come to the okiya straight from the hospital. _Memories of pain. Killing and seeing your comrades die._ Benihime had soothed the pain that stare carried many times, but it seemed Naruto might now be developing a stare of his own.

"Then I'm going to be very, very efficient when I kill so those who die will do so swiftly and with as little pain as I can manage," Naruto said firmly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and hoping his resolve would coax his sensei back into the present. He really hated that thousand-yard stare, especially on Sensei.

It worked. "That's the spirit; now you go catch up on those pushups and situps and afterwards I'll take a look at your kenjutsu."

Naruto managed a wobbly little smile. "Arigatou nasai, Kakashi-sensei."

"Maa, no problem," Kakashi said with an eyesmile that was somehow kind as he rose to his feet again, "I'm your sensei now; looking after you is part of that."

Naruto's next smile was just that bit wider as he hurried back towards Sasuke and Sakura to start his pushups, Kakashi ambling lazily after him.

_Maybe. Maybe I can trust Kakashi-sensei after all. He actually does care about me._

_I'm still not going to tell him about Benihime though; not now and probably not ever. Something tells me he wouldn't get it.

* * *

_**Words used**

koi = lover

shoujo = girl

tenshi = angel

tanto = straight-bladed knife, generally between 6 and 12 inches long (15-30cm) in the blade.

A/N: Major angst in this chapter. On a brighter note, hello to my newest reviewer, Hellcleaner! You and Bad Habits both brighten my life!


	24. Kakashi: Adjustment

**Kakashi:Adjustment **

Kakashi was very, very concerned for his blond student. Hearing that his Sensei's son had killed before even leaving the academy had been hard on his newly mended heart; comforting the blond boy in the aftermath of his second kill -which he had clearly found horrifically traumatic- was infinitely worse. Especially since Naruto's description gave the copy-nin flashbacks to his early experiences in the third shinobi war and the mercy killings of comrades tortured by the enemy.

Those flashbacks, combined with distant recollections of how his first few kills had made him feel, prompted the journin to set about working Naruto and his team-mates into the ground. _Exhaustion makes sleep easier and allows less time for self-recrimination._

Sakura keeled over first, barely making it to ten circuits of the training ground after the pushups, situps and gruelling spar with her sensei. Kakashi gave her a short, disappointed lecture on the importance of eating properly in order to perform as a kunoichi. He laid out a clear, logical explanation on how dieting was only necessary to preserve one's figure if the woman in question wasn't engaging in physical exercise and how important proper nutrition was to strengthen her muscles and keep her mind sharp. Kakashi sent out many mental thanks to Ame throughout the lecture for explaining to him how to get through to his female student the previous night; he did not understand fangirls in the slightest and never wanted to.

Sasuke lasted through four spars with his sensei and a further five with Naruto, running circuits of the training ground in the intervals when Kakashi sparred with the jinchuuriki. As soon as he started getting sloppy the journin stopped the fight and ordered him to rest.

"Go home, eat and go to bed," Kakashi told the Uchiha firmly. "Training in this state will only result in injuries, forcing you to rest and recover which would set your progress back. There will be plenty of time in the coming weeks for further practice and improvement."

"Hai, sensei," Susuke agreed grudgingly before dragging himself away from the training ground towards the Uchiha compound.

Naruto lasted on and on, through two more hours of sparring both with his sensei and against his own shadow clones. When dinner time came around Kakashi gave up and sent the boy home to wash and change, telling him that Ame wanted him to come to the Hatake compound to share the evening meal with them both. The blond ran off eagerly, leaving Kakashi to amble home wondering if the endless energy Naruto demonstrated was a symptom of his jinchuuriki status. He'd never seen a twelve-year-old so energetic, ever. Rock Lee, Gai's overzealous student, was loud, bouncy and utterly dedicated to improving himself, but Naruto's inhuman stamina left even him in the dust. The boy was a force of nature.

Kakashi told Ame about Naruto's kill as soon as he got home. He had no intention of reporting it to the military police; the yakuza had likely disposed of the body by now, leaving no trace of the girl's existence. She likely didn't even exist in the village's system as a civilian, and reporting her death would only lead to further discrimination against the short blond. Kakashi would never expose his Sensei's son to further suffering if he could help it.

The pain in his koi's eyes was tangible as he recounted the tale. "Poor, poor Naru-chibi. You were right though, Kashi: for a girl like that death will have been a welcome mercy."

"I just don't know how to help," Kakashi admitted in frustration. "I told him what my sensei told me, but I don't know what else to do for him; Naruto is far more driven by his heart than I ever was and my first kills were so long ago I barely remember how they made me feel."

"I'll do what I can for him, Kashi-koi; maybe you could get your team a C-rank in a few weeks to give him something new to focus on, provided the rest of the team is sufficiently improved for the risk to be negligible. I know there's a fixed quota of D-ranks to fulfil but from what you've told me they're competent to get that done in very little time."

"If Sakura gets herself up to scratch I will," Kakashi said, stroking his lover's hair. "Sasuke is highly competent for his age and is quite capable of cooperating with Naruto when it suits him. Naruto may be less perfectly controlled but his imagination and unpredictability makes him the better shinobi of the two, possibly of the entire genin crop. He has more stamina than Gai, which until now I did not believe was even _possible_. I am only grateful Naruto did not graduate last year and end up on his team; Lee is bad enough but Naruto as Gai's protégée would have driven me stark staring mad."

"Don't wait too long for that first C-rank; I want you _here_ when I give birth, not gallivanting across the elemental nations with your genin team."

"Of course I'll be here, Ame-koi. Barring war or an emergency of national importance; I can't rightly refuse missions of that caliber."

"That is perfectly acceptable. Now come and help me change for dinner."

Dinner at the Hatake mansion -Kakashi _still_ couldn't bring himself to call it a house- was a fairly peaceful affair; it seemed he had managed to tire Naruto out after all. Ame coaxed the boy into a conversation on the various uses of explosive tags -both within and outside the context of combat missions- which Kakashi managed to participate in as well, contributing a few amusing anecdotes.

The journin had not yet been able to find a satisfactory alternative to his Icha Icha to read around his genin, which was mildly upsetting. He felt rather naked wandering around the village without a book to hide behind. Ame had promised to find him something on bijuu and jinchuuriki -he felt Naruto was the student whose needs he was least prepared to deal with- but it would take time to get hold of.

After the meal Ame lead Naruto away for a private heart to heart while Kakashi cleared the table and washed the dishes. Elbow deep in hot water, the journin reflected on the recent twists his life had taken as well as the coming changes. Fatherhood most prominently, both of his own children and the horde of orphans who Ame was arranging to move into the Hatake mansion from River country. He wasn't sure how he was going to cope with his home being invaded by a dozen brats plus caretakers, but at least the new building was big enough that he could ensure privacy when he needed it. His koi wanted some of her family to live close to her, so Kakashi would deal with it. He had had less privacy in ANBU after all.

Ame had, at least, set aside various parts of the house under different levels of seals to restrict access to those not keyed into the security systems. The entire upper floors of the house were sealed against everyone whose blood was not incorporated into the preliminary defences and the basements were even more restricted. Bedrooms had even more specialised seals on, surpassed only by the security on the laboratories and workrooms. His beloved clearly felt that a person could never have too much security and Kakashi couldn't honestly say he disagreed. Not that he knew -or even wanted to know- how the security system worked or what the various seals actually did, especially not the more esoteric arrays she'd engraved on the _inside_ of the load-baring walls and around the estate's perimeter. His gut told him that plausible deniability in this case would be his best course of action.

Plus, he suspected Ame's attempts at explaining what she had done would only make his brain ache anyway.

Having finished putting away the dry crockery Kakashi wandered over to the main receiving room to find his fiancée, who was sitting alone and fiddling absently with a saucer, having sent Naruto home to rest. "Well, koi?"

"You did help him, Kashi-koi," Ame sighed, putting the saucer down, "and I also did what I could. The rest is up to him, though I do believe he will pull through and that the experience will temper him into a fine shinobi. Which reminds me; could you factor in a day off for your team at some point in the next week? I really do _not_ like the vibe I am getting off that seal on his stomach."

"You noticed that?"

Ame gave her lover a _look_. "Kashi, you know I can see chakra, emotions, memories and even souls. That Naruto has a semi-sentient bottomless pit of youki trapped behind his navel gate is glaringly obvious to me. I just wish that the idiot who did the sealing had had more actual knowledge about bijuu than the average shinobi."

Kakashi blinked at the casual slander of his sensei's intelligence. "Idiot..?" he repeated faintly.

"It is a very good seal, made by a highly competent seal master. Had it been used on any other limitless chakra source there wouldn't have been a problem. Unfortunately bijuu are not actually made of chakra; they run on youki, which unless perfectly balanced with a less volatile form of energy is toxic to living beings. With the seal as it is Naruto might accidentally die of chakra poisoning if he is unlucky. Even if he _is_ amazingly lucky he will still lose decades off his lifespan."

"Oh." Kakashi was stunned by this evidence of his sensei's feet of clay. The Yondaime had been brilliant with seals, but it was equally clear that he had been insufficiently well-informed in other areas to properly apply said brilliance.

"It is a very good seal; very strong and well able to prevent Kyuubi from escaping so long as his jailer lives. It just isn't quite the right seal to ensure the safe harvesting of a bijuu's chakra for its jinchuuriki," Ame amended. "especially considering that the nine-tailed fox has the most dangerous youki of all the tailed beasts. Its power lies in pure youki manipulation to the highest degree. It deliberately shapes said youki to corrupt the bonds holding matter together, rather than simply poison life on a cellular level which is what youki does naturally. That it is also aligned to earth, water and lightening just makes its power more formidable."

"Not fire?" Kakashi asked, remembering the conflagration which had consumed half of Konohagakure the night of the Kyuubi attack.

"Fire isn't an element in the strictest sense; it is just a manifestation of chakra instability, hence why uncontrolled raw chakra causes burns. The true elements are just the four states of being: Earth for solidity, water for liquid, wind for gaseous and lightening for pure energy. The combination elements are the really interesting ones."

"Interesting how?" Kakashi asked. She was turning at least a century of accepted elemental chakra theory on its head, but her interpretation made a surprising amount of sense.

"Well, the so-called fire combinations first, which you don't even need to be aligned to fire to use since it is the most easily element to replicate. Destabilising earth creates lava. Destabilise water and you get steam. Wind, well you get explosions: really big ones. The combination is the most volatile by far. Adding just a hint of wind to so-called fire manipulation does however give it a massive boost. The fire and lightning combination is however the only non-viable mix on the spectrum: because lightening is pure energy, destabilising it just weakens the technique or snuffs it out completely."

Kakashi wished he had pencil and paper so he could take notes. Instead he moved to sit behind his fiancée, cradling her pregnant belly lovingly. "What about earth?"

"Earth is interesting. Because the ground naturally contains low levels of what is generally called sage energy or 'natural chakra' its combinations have multiple tiers depending on whether the moulder has an affinity for that natural energy. For example, if a person has an affinity for 'natural chakra' -which isn't chakra at all really- they can combine the earth and water elements and create wood, the so-called living element."

"Wait up koi; you mean to tell me that the Shodaime's mokuton kekkai genkai was a sage technique?"

"Oh yes. If Senju Hashirama had not had an innate affinity for natural chakra manipulation he would only have been able to produce mud, which is the lower tier of the earth-water combination."

"So it isn't a kekkai genkai after all," Kakashi reasoned. _That would explain why Orochimaru's attempts to recreate it were so unsuccessful: he wasn't trying to transfer the correct traits._

"Technically mokuton is just what you get when someone with so-called 'sage potential' has an affinity for both earth and water chakra. Senju Tobirama's incredible affinity for suiton techniques was also a result of an innate sage affinity: water contains traces of natural energies, though not as much as earth."

"So the true Senju kekkai genkai is a sage affinity; that explains more than it doesn't," Kakashi mused. _Like for example Tsunade-sama's almost unnatural healing affinity. She lacks an elemental affinity, but is naturally attuned to the human body._ "What about earth and wind?"

"Dust or sand as the lower tier. Tiny particles moved at high speeds to create elastic shields or to erode everything in its path. Higher tier is a fungal and bacteriological affinity, which is both incredibly rare and insanely dangerous. We're talking about the ability to poison, decompose or otherwise break down absolutely anything at will. It was a kekkai genkai a long time ago in Iwa, but it was wiped out fairly early in the wandering clans period. No-one's attempted to recreate it since because no-one even remembers it existed."

"I... can understand why," the copy-nin admitted. That was a really scary affinity.

"Metal -generally iron- is the lower tier earth and lightning combination, since the intense energy transmutes the earth into a more resilient form. Higher tier is called flesh affinity and usually manifests as medical brilliance in both healing and successful genetic modification. I think Tsunade of the Sannin has this, though the fact she is unaware of it means she does not exploit it to its fullest. My own innate healing ability is a variation on this, although I lack the proper elemental affinities to exploit it at the highest levels."

Kakashi silently agreed that the earth/sage combinations were by far the scariest.

"Note by the way that despite lacking an earth affinity any half-decent sage can recreate one of these combinations provided they have an affinity for the other element," Ame added. "And that even pure earth manipulation in the hands of a true sage is really, truly scary."

"I hadn't the faintest idea," Kakashi admitted.

"Most _sages_ haven't the foggiest, even the summons like the toads. I only know because the Sanju Shukaku grants me the ability to sense and fully access so-called 'natural chakra' as well as full knowledge of past sage practices. Plus I've experimented a lot."

"Oh." Kakashi really didn't like the sound of that. The idea of Ame 'experimenting' with the sage techniques she'd just told him about sent a chill down his spine that even her penchant for bending reality with seals couldn't match.

"Anyway, that's all the earth combinations. Water next. Water and wind creates what most people mistake for ice but is in fact pure cold as a result of the minute traces of natural energy in water having a slight transmuting effect. Depending on the individuals proficiency they will be able to create solid ice, snow or -if sufficiently talented and driven- the ability to freeze. The freezing ability can be applied to anything containing water, people included. All the Yuki-onna stories come from a kekkai genkai clan from Yuki no kuni which settled in Kirigakure and whose members had the ability to freeze everything they touched."

"That sounds like a very useful elemental bloodline to have," Kakashi commented, "both in the field and off it."

"They were one of the first victims of the bloodline purges, sadly," Ame sighed. "So much skill wasted. A lot of them were medics, since cooling the body preserves it. What the last two Mizukages have done to Kiri is nothing short of criminal."

"What about water and lightening?" Kakashi asked.

"Another interesting one, that: Plasma. Plasma, by the way, is the substance that stars are made of which acts like water, shines like light and evaporates everything it touches. It is far, far hotter than lava and is the Kyuubi's primary affinity."

"Plasma?" Kakashi croaked. "I thought it was fire, or just pure chakra."

"Nope, Plasma. It is fairly rare, since there is a knack to making it. Just as most wind/water users get ice rather than true cold, most water/lightning users get what they call 'lasers' rather than plasma. Laser has a larger proportion of lightning to water than plasma does as well as requiring less power and control. Laser acts like light and cuts and cauterizes rather than evaporating. Last combo is wind and lightening, which is another weird one. You get high frequency sound. Note that most sound-users don't actually _know_ this and are therefore incapable of properly exploiting it. That's all the elemental combinations."

"Arigatou nasai for that, Ame-koi. It was enlightening," Kakashi said thoughtfully, making a mental note to write it all down in the Hatake clan scrolls. This was sufficiently valuable information to be classed as clan secrets. "And it gives me all kinds of ideas for my own affinity."

"Lightening _is_ the intelligence element after all, Kashi-koi," his fiancée teased him gently, rubbing the back of her head against his chest.

"How so?"

"Your body runs on bioelectricity koi. Thoughts are all tiny electrical impulses. Electricity makes your muscles move and your senses feel. A true lightening master can create impenetrable genjutsus, wield your body like a puppet or lift the thoughts right out of your mind."

_Like the Yamanakas? It sounds like their bloodline is lightening based._ "I never thought about it that way," Kakashi mused. "I concentrated on the pure assault capabilities of lightening, but you are right once again Ame-koi."

"I usually am," Ame said blandly. "But when I'm wrong, boy is it ever big. My slip-ups tend to have emotionally painful and far-reaching consequences."

"I'll take your word for it, koi. Oh, and have I told you how beautiful you are today?" Kakashi asked, tightening his grip on the woman in his arms.

"I don't feel very beautiful. I feel bloated, badly balanced and heavy."

"You're carrying my children in there. I find the way you look very sexy indeed, Ame-koi," Kakashi murmured huskily, running a hand over her belly while the other toyed with the neckline of her kimono. "In fact-" he shunshined her upstairs into their bedroom, making her squeak "-I feel the need to show you _exactly_ how irresistible I'm finding your beautiful body _right now_."

"Well, when you put it that way," Ame gasped, surrendering gracefully to his eager ministrations, "I can't really resist."

* * *

A/N: I am currently suffering from computer issues, but I have enough uploaded that I should -_should_- be able to not delay my publishing shedule of every other day. Here we have my own interpretation of the elemental affinities and their uses. The idea of 'sage affinity' makes a lot of sense to me and will reappear later in the story at various points.


	25. Naruto: Clarity

**Naruto: Clarity**

The next four weeks were productive but not particularly eventful. In fact only three really noteworthy events occurred -so far as Naruto was concerned- with the rest of the month blurring into D-ranks around the village, ninja training and entertaining clients as Benihime.

The first two events of note took place on the same day of the first week: Ame-kaa-san's in-depth examination of the Kyuubi seal on his stomach and the creation of his shintai-bunshin of Benihime.

The seal examination came first: Ame-kaa-san stripped him down to his hakama and made him lie down in a clearing out in the middle of the Hatake estate surrounded by truly ginormous trees. Then, under the watchful eyes of Kakashi-sensei, Sandaime-jiji, a dozen ANBU and a really tall weird old guy with spiky white hair, red markings on his face and a hitai-ite with the 'oil' kanji on it, she placed her hands on the seal on his stomach and closed her eyes. Naruto just had to lie still, which he did while Ame-kaa-san sat equally still and radiated a strange energy that wasn't quite chakra yet seemed vaguely familiar. The weirdo with the oil headband seemed to notice the energy too, since he seemed shocked and engaged in a whispered conversation with the hokage about 'natural chakra' -wasn't all chakra natural?- and 'sennin'. Naruto was about to ask what hermits and sages had to do with anything when Ame interrupted them with an explosion of crude and highly creative expletives, most of which were explicitly directed at the Yondaime. The aura of outrage that radiated from her seated form made even the ANBU flinch a little, but Naruto suspected that might also have been in protest of his kaa-san's language. Any Konoha shinobi would object at hearing their beloved hero being referred to as a 'irresponsible, mule-headed, short-sighted, slipshod sadist with delusions of competence', among other things. Naruto, for his part, stayed very still.

"Calm down, Ame-koi," Kakashi-sensei said soothingly, hands held palm out as he inched towards the fuming pregnant woman, "and tell us what the problem is."

"That, that blond _baka_ only sealed the Kyuubi's Yang energy within Naruto! The poor kid's completely unbalanced! I'm amazed he's managed to be this well-adjusted as it is!" Ame-kaa-san shouted. At the uncomprehending looks from her audience -and Naruto's puppydog-eyed "Huh?"- she took pity on them, taking a deep breath and explaining properly:

"Look, human beings have three kinds of energy powering their bodies. Yin energy -mental ki- and Yang energy -physical ki- which ninja blend together to create chakra. The third energy type is spiritual ki, which miko and houshi use to great effect against demonic beings and those who willingly commit evil, thereby tainting their souls. Kyuubi is a bijuu, which is not strictly speaking a demonic entity; if it had been the Yondaime could not have bound it with chakra, as pure demonic beings can only be defeated by the spiritually gifted. Rather, a bijuu is a sentient manifestation of natural and demonic energies. Kyuubi, being a Yoko or fox-demon, was once truly a fox so like all animals it only has physical and mental energies. Unlike summons, the bijuu have no souls. They are just very large, powerful and intelligent beasts. So when the Yondaime -ignorant idiot that he was- co-opted the Shinigami to perform Shiki Fuuin on the Kyuubi, he separated Yin -quiet rational natural energy- from Yang -turbulent instinctual demonic youki- and sealed the latter within Naruto here. So all poor Naru-kun has inside himself is a muddle of instincts and base emotions -namely fear, anger, hunger and lust- powered by a bottomless pit of highly corrosive youki which will literally take years off his life whenever he uses more than a tiny fraction of it, deliberately or otherwise. Plus, the over-abundance of Yang in his system has suppressed his intellect in favour of burning off the extra physical energy. I'm impressed the kid can sit still for more than two minutes at a time, let alone concentrate long enough to fill out a paper test.."

"So he's a slow learner because it helps him balance out his chakra system?" Kakashi-sensei asked.

"Yes. Sorry you got screwed over, Naru-kun; the Yondaime clearly knew eff-all about bijuu," Ame-kaa-san said apologetically.

Naruto drooped. His hero had made a massive oversight which had resulted in a very big and very dumb mistake which he, Naruto, was now paying for. That 'the blond moron' was also his biological father did not help matters.

"Other than that rather horrendous oversight, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the seal or chakra release system reintegrating the Yin wouldn't fix," Ame-kaa-san said, ruffling his hair. "It is a very strong seal, in and of itself. He could have sealed the entire Kyuubi behind it if he'd tried. A shame he didn't do his research."

"Well, unfortunately the Yin Kyuubi is completely out of our reach," Sandaime-jiji said tiredly. "Minato used Shiki Fuuin to seal it within the Shinigami's stomach along with his own soul."

"Not true, actually," Ame-kaa-san said absent-mindedly as she petted Naruto's hair.

"What do you mean, koi?" Kakashi asked as the attention of every single individual in the clearing homed in on the starry-eyed young woman.

"Minato-kun did try to sacrifice his soul to the Shinigami. Unfortunately for Shinigami-sama I had a prior claim on the baka's soul as I saved his life during the third shinobi war. He was all but dead when I found him back then so I used a kinjutsu to prevent his soul from passing into the afterlife, then pumped healing chakra into his body until it was sufficiently alive to house his soul again. However the kinjutsu I used meant that Shinigami-sama literally could not take Minato's soul from the mortal plain without my express permission and I wasn't about to let someone I'd gone to so much effort to save just get eaten like that. I ended up bargaining with the Shinigami to prevent outright conflict and wound up receiving both Minato and the Yin Kyuubi in exchange for swearing to deliver to the death god the souls of two ninja who were flouting divine law. I engineered the deaths of said ninja shortly before I came to Konohagakure so I am perfectly able to solve Naruto's internal imbalance, seeing as I currently have the Yin Kyuubi sealed within my mindscape."

There was a short, amazed silence. The white-haired weirdo's jaw had literally dropped and Kakashi-sensei looked like he was trying not to faint. The aura of blatant shock coming off the ANBU was however what entertained Naruto the most.

"How old were you, Amemai-san?" hokage-jiji asked.

"Five when I saved his life, six when I bargained with Shinigami-sama," Ame-kaa-san said serenely. "The death god has contacted me for various other lesser errands since, and has made me his emissary in numerous minor matters. This is why I have repeatedly refused to become a ninja under your command, hokage-sama: a miko serves her god and her god only."

Another loaded silence.

"Ame-kaa-san! This means you can fix me, doesn't it?" Naruto burst out hopefully.

"Most certainly, Naru-kun. The Hakke no Fuuin Shiki is certainly strong enough to withstand a reformed Kyuubi. It wouldn't even take me very long to do. The issue is that -as a jinchuuriki and ninja of Konohagakure no sato- you fall under the direct and personal governance of the hokage. Therefore I require his express permission to resurrect the Kyuubi no Yoko within your seal."

Naruto leaped to his feet and bounded over to the hokage. "You heard Ame-kaa-san, jiji! Please, please please?" he made puppy eyes up at his grandfather figure.

"Why do you call her 'kaa-san', Naruto?" the Sandaime asked.

"She had someone look after me since I was six," Naruto said promptly. "Hibana-nee taught me reading and calligraphy and table manners and polite conversation and how to meditate and history and geography and the other little things normal kids learn from their parents. Ame-kaa-san paid for all my stuff at Himitsu-okaa-san's okiya like clothes and meals. She even paid Takemaru-san to teach me real taijutsu when the academy sensei's couldn't be bothered. Iruka-sensei cared," he amended, "but he didn't usually teach taijutsu."

The hokage seemed to age before Naruto's eyes as the list went on and on, enumerating all the things the blond had needed to know that no-one else in Konoha had been willing to teach.

"Himitsu-okaa-san? Why does that sound familiar?" the white haired weirdo said musingly.

"She owns the Mitsusha," Ame-kaa-san said dryly. "Well, runs it at least; I own about three-fifths of the actual building."

"Is this why you like geisha, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi-sensei asked him.

"Hai! They know all sorts of cool stuff, plus they're really pretty! Takemaru-san wanted me to be a boy-geisha like him but I wanted to be a ninja more," Naruto said blithely, secretly amused when two of the ANBU and the weirdo all choked at the idea of a Naruto-geisha. _Ha! Shows what they know. Uzumaki Naruto is a master of deception and disguise! My alter-ego is a very successful and popular geisha, so there. _Even more amusingly, Naruto recognised the chakra signature of one of the ANBU as belonging to a man who had visited Benihime twice since she became a geisha.

"Why geisha, Amemai-san?" the Sandaime asked.

Ame-kaa-san shrugged. "They have the necessary knowledge to care for and teach young prospective ninja, hokage-sama, as well as being accustomed to teaching. Geisha also have no problem with dealing with those more powerful than themselves; we are fragile flowers, not swords and shields as ninja are."

"We?" the weirdo asked.

"Before I met Kakashi I was a geisha, Jiraya-san. Hence my, ah, questionable and overprotective acquaintances," Ame-kaa-san said wickedly. "I have a great many of them and I am sure some are eager to meet the man responsible for this," she patted her swollen belly.

Kakashi-sensei made a small, whimpering sound.

"No need for that, Kashi-koi. They won't kill you; they know how much you matter to me."

"So they'll just take it in turns to put me in the hospital," the journin grumbled, much to the weirdo's amusement. "This is because I didn't bring you back here right away, isn't it?"

Ame-kaa-san's smile was thin and razor-sharp. "What do you think?"

Kakashi-sensei slumped back against a tree. "I'm doomed."

"Jiji? Please?" Naruto persisted.

"What happened to Minato's soul?" the weirdo asked.

Ame-kaa-san shrugged. "He hung around for a bit; visited Naruto a lot early on and persuaded me to get someone to take proper care of him since he felt responsible for how the kid was treated, which I did. He couldn't safely move on until I fulfilled the bargain with the Shinigami."

"So he's really gone now," the weirdo said sadly.

"No, he isn't: blondie can't leave without my say-so. I haven't seen him in months though seeing as I've had more important things to worry about of late," Ame-kaa-san said, "so I have no idea what he's been up to. Probably haunting Iwa again; quite a few Rock-nins are just sensitive enough to spiritual ki to see ghosts and he enjoys their reactions."

There where quite a few snickers from the ANBU on guard at the idea of the former Yondaime hokage haunting Iwagakure. Even the Sandaime smiled.

"Well," the hokage said, "if Amemai-san believes that merging the Yin and Yang Kyuubi within the seal will not only be possible but beneficial to Uzumaki Naruto's well-being, I feel I should condone it."

"Yahoo! Thanks ojii-san!" Naruto whooped, hugging the hokage before dashing back to Ame-kaa-san and hugging her too, if a little more carefully.

"Arigatou nasai hokage-sama for allowing this. Lie down again, Naruto; this won't take long."

It didn't. The only thing that persuaded Naruto that his kaa-san had actually _done_ something was the fact that the chakra knot in his belly wasn't hot and angry any more. It was just... there. Neutral. More normal for a fox, that detached indifference.

Ame-kaa-san insisted on keeping him overnight: just to make sure, she justified it as to the hokage. The reality was she used the time to help Naruto make the Benihime bunshin.

Naruto did not need to do much: he sat still while Ame-kaa-san painted him and the dead body with seals, then changed into Benihime so she could do even more seals. All he actually did do was the final step: pushing his chakra into the corpse while in Benihime-henge, concentrating on everything it meant to _be_ Benihime.

The jutsu worked perfectly: that very evening Benihime went to the Mitsusha while Naruto slept under the watchful eye of Kakashi-sensei and Ame-kaa-san's starry darkness. The night was perfectly restful for the blond, although he woke early in the morning when the Benihime-bunshin went to sleep and all the memories of her first day of existence were transferred to his brain.

The shintai-bunshin worked a little like a self-sustaining shadow clone, in that a copy of all its memories were sent to the original every twenty four hours, half an hour after which the clone received a download back from the original. Since this happened while the clone was asleep it automatically reinforced the original's thought patterns, intentions and goals into the copy's brain, preventing it from developing the disconcerting independence that shadow clones exhibited after moderate periods of time. A shintai-bunshin was indistinguishable from the original because it acted, reacted and thought exactly like the original. It was not just a chakra construct with a rough impression of the caster's mind and soul to guide it; it was a perfect copy, complete in every way except its lack of soul.

That lack was what necessitated the regular mental contact between original and clone to ensure it behaved consistently. The only other difference between clone and original was that the Benihime-bunshin was completely sterile, preventing the possibility of 'accidents'.

Naruto had entrusted to Ame-kaa-san the bodies of the other girls he had killed; it turned out she had a special scroll box for storing prospective bodies in. Naruto was rather creeped out by it, but recognised the practicality.

Now that the bunshin was made Benihime lived at the okiya full-time just like the other geisha did. Nobody noticed that there was anything different about her and Naruto received her memories every evening. The new arrangement was absolutely perfect...

… which was fortunate since the third and final occurrence of note that month happened two weeks later and was Kakashi-sensei's investigation into Naruto's first kill, which he had actually done as Benihime. This meant that Benihime had to somehow indicate -without actually lying- how Naruto could have done the deed without Momo-chan noticing him and explain why Benihime had claimed the kill.

The original received the full memory of his clone's first encounter with his sensei a few hours after the fact, but the encounter went exactly as it would have had he been present in person:

Benihime had just finished dressing for the afternoon -her face and hair immaculate and her kimono pristine- when a minarai fetched her downstairs, saying that the okaa-san required her presence. The red headed geisha had, of course, gone to see what the problem was and entered Himitsu-san's receiving room to see Kakashi-sen -_no, he is Hatake-san to Benihime, I am not Naruto_- Hatake-san and Umino-san sitting in the guest seats.

Benihime bowed politely.

Benihime-musume, these ninja wish to speak with you regarding the rapist you killed," Himitsu-okaa-san said calmly. Benihime suspected the okaa-san had deliberately forgotten that Benihime was anything other than a highly promising geisha. "You may use this room until their business is concluded."

Himitsu-san rose regally to her feet and left as Benihime bowed low. Once she was gone the geisha settled herself on the cushion the okaa-san had vacated.

"Shinobi-san, I gave my report of the incident to the military police well over a year ago; why this sudden interest?" she asked politely.

"Because you lied," Kakashi said lazily. "You didn't kill the man: Uzumaki Naruto did. Don't worry; he isn't in any trouble for it. I just want to know why you lied."

Benihime gave him a _look_. It was witheringly scornful. "I am yet to meet a single person outside of this establishment who treats Naruto-chan like any other child. I did not believe he would receive the fair treatment the military police would accord any other victim so I assumed responsibility. I was supposed to be keeping an eye on him for my onee-san at the time."

"A victim, Benihime-san? Was Naruto harmed at all?" Iruka asked worriedly. Benihime had no idea why Kakashi had brought Naruto's former sensei along for this. _Perhaps he is the only sympathetic witness Hatake could find on short notice._

"Are you Umino Iruka, chunnin-san?"

"Hai, geisha-san."

"Naruto speaks fondly of you and no, he was not attacked directly. However he did witness that man's extremely brutal attempt to force himself on Momo-chan, a maiko only two years older than Naruto himself. I was knocked into a wall in the attack and Naruto rushed past me, seized my tessen and slashed at the man's throat with it, severing the carotid artery through pure luck. Naruto was even shorter then than he is now, so most of the blood missed him and ended up on me," Benihime explained quietly. "I have witnessed many times how harshly Naruto is discriminated against and did not want him to suffer unjustly for protecting someone he cared for. So I sent him back to the okiya, to Hibana-onee-san who was his primary carer, while taking my tessen from him and claiming the kill as my own before the authorities. Since Naruto-chan was in my care at the time I felt responsible anyway. Momo-chan never saw him do the deed so she did not know to contest my tale."

"Did Naruto receive any counselling to help him cope after his kill?" Iruka asked.

"Indeed he did Umino-san. Hibana-onee-san has killed before in the defense of others, as have Himitsu-okaa-san and Takemaru-san. He was none the worse for his experience once he got over the shock, though he showed a reduced tolerance for perverts."

"You don't like perverts either, do you Benihime-san?" Kakashi noted quietly.

"No geisha likes perverts, Hatake-san," Benihime replied coolly. "We are artists and entertainers first and foremost, yet perverts eye us like the lower class oirans who stand on street corners and treat us little better. No woman appreciates being treated like so much meat."

"Gomen nasai if I have offended you, Benihime-san," Kakashi said, "but were you aware of Naruto's hatred of Icha Icha?"

"That man had a copy in his pocket," the geisha replied shortly. "It is pure filth. If one must indulge in such things they could at least acquire decent shunga."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow in something approaching surprise. "You are familiar with shunga?"

"I _am_ a geisha, Hatake-san; I collect shunga." Benihime smiled sharply, "A fact Naruto-chan is well aware of, since he discovered my collection when he was ten."

_That_ got both men to choke is surprise. _Yep, I've still got it. Geisha or otherwise, the Uzumaki sense of fun cannot be suppressed! And I really do collect shunga as well, though I started when Naruto was nine, not ten._

"I gave him the Talk shortly after that," Benihime continued, ruthlessly seizing control of the conversation, "it doesn't seem to have done him any harm."

"So _that's_ where his Orioke no jutsu came from," Iruka muttered, face very red.

_He liked Naruko-chan that much, huh?_ Benihime smiled to herself. "What was that, Umino-san?"

"Er, Naruto invented a henge variant that turns him into a very pretty naked woman," Iruka said, face still scarlet. "He called it an anti-pervert technique."

"That sounds very... effective," Benihime mused, privately entertained. "Useful for bait as well as catching other ninja off-guard. Nobody expects the naked girl you caught bathing in the river to be anything but vulnerable."

"You-you _approve?_"

Benihime shrugged slightly. "It is a clever deception and a ninja's primary duty is to deceive. What of it?"

"Nothing, Benihime-san," Kakashi said smoothly as Iruka did a beautiful goldfish impression. "Thank-you for time." He herded the chunnin out of the door.

"You are very welcome. Hatake-san?"

The silver haired ninja turned in the doorway. "Hai, Benihime-san?"

"Naruto-chan is precious to me. Treat him with anything less than the care he deserves and I will find a way to hurt you." She flicked a senbon out of her sleeve and made it dance between her fingers before vanishing again. "I am no ninja but I have training."

"Noted, Benihime-san," the copy-nin said with a quiet nod, closing the door behind him.

It was a little over a month after graduation when team seven got its first C-class mission.

* * *

**Notes**

sennin = hermit or sage

musume = daughter

musuko = son

tessen = battle fan made with steel ribs. Generally used for blocking but stabbing and slashing is also possible

shunga = japanese erotic artwork, usually prints

A/N: Computer problems solved! Brothers are wonderful: They know how to fix things! Please, please review.


	26. Kakashi: Requests

I like reviews because they tell me that people like my story, which encourages me to write faster. +reviews = happy author = +chapters written

**Kakashi: Requests **

Kakashi was bored. Bored, bored, bored. While the various antics of team seven had been amusing for the first two weeks of training them, after another fortnight they were just tiresome. The lopsided team dynamic was incredibly frustrating -_where we this bad at the same age, Minato-sensei?_- and nothing he did seemed to affect it.

Sasuke and Naruto got on well enough, with Naruto carrying the conversation and Sasuke grunting at appropriate intervals. They weren't close but the space they gave each-other was highly calculated; they understood each-other. Their spars were intense and competitive but there was no malice there. The Uchiha helped the blond with his taijutsu by thrashing the older boy repeatedly and Naruto helped his younger team-mate with his budding kenjutsu by talking him through the spars, explaining why he had scored this or that point.

The two boys were comrades, true team-mates. The problem lay with Haruno Sakura.

Other than ending her tendency to diet, Kakashi had been unable to curtail any of her fangirl habits. She still fawned over Sasuke and took his side in every single discussion or spar, which the dark haired boy clearly found infuriating. She also seemed to have taken offence at the swift death of Naruto's supposed crush on her and verbally attacked the blond whenever he disagreed with 'her precious Sasuke-kun' or said anything she could possibly object to. Kakashi had made sure she understood that physically assaulting one's team-mates was unacceptable, but he couldn't figure out a way to reign in the kunoichi's cruel tongue.

This latent conflict forced the Uchiha into the role of the peacemaker, a role he was deeply unsuited to. He generally resorted to telling his pink haired team-mate to shut up.

Nonetheless, team seven limped forward. Kakashi was fairly impressed with the individual progress both boys had made in training and Sakura's progress was... _Well, barely adequate to be brutally honest, but good enough for a genin kunoichi and surprising for a fangirl, may they all rot in hell._

Sasuke's Uchiha-style taijutsu, was improving with the constant spars but without the sharingan he could not master it. Goaded on by Naruto's kenjutsu ability the dark eyed boy had found a scroll somewhere in the Uchiha compound and was learning ninja-to katas with dogged determination. He still couldn't beat Naruto when they sparred with bokken but he was lasting longer.

Naruto's Uzu-style kenjutsu was very good, easily chunnin level. His taijutsu was a bastard mix of Northern Preying Mantis, Jujutsu and Dragon Fist. He was very good at the jujutsu parts, less so at the Mantis parts -although he clearly knew exactly where all the pressure points were he wasn't quick enough yet to hit them reliably- and he was still learning the stances and movements inherent to Dragon Fist. There was a little White Crane in his footwork but as his Dragon Fist improved the blond used Crane less and less.

Kakashi hadn't realised there was anyone in Konoha who used Jujutsu, let alone Northern Mantis which was a style native to Grass country. Dragon Fist was considered a lost art so he was extremely surprised to find that his oldest student had a solid grasp of the style's basics and was improving rapidly. Some gentle inquiry revealed that Naruto had learned Northern Mantis from books borrowed from the library by Rock Lee back when both boys had been in the same academy class. The blond had been learning Jujutsu from 'Takemaru-nii' for the better part of three years and Dragon Fist turned out to be an Uzumaki style that Ame was helping him master, making extensive use of shadow clones to drill the stances and katas into him as quickly as was humanly possible. He knew White Crane because 'Benihime-nee' used it and he had used to spar with the red headed geisha before he graduated. Kakashi suspected that if Naruto had dedicated all his time to learning a specific taijutsu style he would be better that the Uchiha by now. However the jinchuuriki's magpie assimilation of different styles was likely to serve him better in the long run than Sasuke's determined pursuit of perfection in his chosen style. They were ninja after all, not martial artists.

Neither boy had particularly good chakra control. Naruto's was better overall when the sheer size of his reserves was taken into account and had improved noticeably after the addition of the Yin Kyuubi to his seal, but the boy still couldn't do the bunshin jutsu. Sasuke could, and had a number of C-class katon jutsu he could do but he wasted chakra all over the place. Sakura did not, mainly because she didn't have much to start with. Kakashi had decided to put off improving his team's chakra control until their tai- and kenjutsu were good enough.

Sakura's taijutsu had been pathetic, no more than the academy basics which she wasn't very good at and didn't suit her body type at all. Kakashi had started her on Bajiquan, which Naruto knew the basics of but rarely used, stating it didn't really work for him. Sakura had not been pleased to be forced to learn from Naruto of all people -as she put it- but the style clearly worked for her. The journin had to admit that she was vicious enough to be challenging to spar with even though she didn't know all the stances and moves yet. Especially when she improvised.

Kakashi had -after Naruto's admission of being familiar with Bajiquan- asked what other styles he knew but didn't use. The list was staggering for a genin: Drunken Fist -mainly the footwork- Fanzi and Eagle Claw style Chin na in addition to the styles he usually demonstrated. Gai would have cried manly tears of joy to have such a dedicated taijutsu student to work with.

Naruto explained that he was trying to integrate the Eagle Claw Chin na into his Jujutsu and Dragon Fist, but that it was still in the experimental phases. When questioned on how he was managing to practice all that different taijutsu Naruto's answer nearly made Kakashi facevault:

"Shadow clones, sensei; isn't that what they're for?"

After that little chat Kakashi started teaching his team about genjutsu in order to give the younger two a bit more of an edge. Sakura proved brilliant at it, Sasuke competent and Naruto, as he had expected, poor. The blond could detect and dispel genjutsu all the way up to A-rank and could even sense them being placed on other people -_a fox related ability perhaps? Kitsune are famed for their illusions_- but couldn't cast one to save his life. He just had too much chakra.

Sasuke was more balanced, able to detect and defeat genjutsu up to B-rank and even the occasional A-ranks if given a little time or knew they were there. He could cast the three or four D and C-ranked illusions Kakashi actually taught his team, putting him on the talented side of average for a genin. But it was Sakura who really shone.

While her reserves were small -pitiful in fact- her natural control was very high and she had an excellent imagination. The pink haired kunoichi took to genjutsu like a bird to flight. Combined with her brutal taijutsu style her proficiency in illusions -including sealless illusions- was such that both her team-mates had to work to beat her in a spar. Oddly enough she did better against Sasuke then against Naruto, who in a pinch would just shut his eyes and spar blind, ignoring her efforts completely. Rather than let this get her down Sakura badgered her sensei for scrolls on genjutsus affecting the other senses. Kakashi did so, though he wondered how long it would take the kunoichi to work out that Naruto was tracking her by chakra and scent rather than the more obvious sound. In order to keep her motivated the journin also offered to train Naruto how to manage his enhanced senses, wondering again as the blond took up his offer with eager eyes how those previously assigned to his education had missed the boy's talent and drive. Sure, the blonde wasn't very good at digging deeper into written texts, but his memorisation skills were top-notch and he had an uncanny knack for reading intent and emotion that was on par with some Hyuugas.

However despite individual improvement their teamwork was still shoddy. When Sasuke was in charge there wasn't a problem and in areas where Sakura was the most experienced the boys did defer to her -if a little grudgingly- but whenever Naruto tried to take charge Sakura protested, forcing Sasuke to reiterate the blond's decisions and glare her into submission. It was driving the journin crazy. He was tempted to give the girl a thorough dressing down, or failing that attack the team repeatedly in three-on-one spars until Sakura learned through bitter experience to obey her team leader's orders instantly and without hesitation.

Kakashi was leaning towards the latter as the most effective strategy.

So when his team finally snapped and demanded a more challenging mission he did not protest. It wasn't quite what he'd had in mind but an escort mission with bandits and wild animals -though hopefully not squirrels- would do them good. _Especially Sakura. The boys have both seen death and know this isn't a game._

The journin was about to dismiss his team to collect supplies and rest up in preparation for the next morning when Ame let herself into the missions office, A rather dazed ANBU supporting her.

My apologies for dazing Crow-san, hokage-sama, but I wished to meet team seven in its entirety. While I know Naruto very well, Kakashi has been sabotaging my attempts to get to know the other two."

"I haven't," Kakashi protested as Sasuke eyed the very pregnant newcomer with poorly concealed interest _-well not much anyway_- "it just hasn't been convenient."

"You know sensei?" Sasuke asked, staring at Ame's star-filled eyesockets curiously. The brunet probably thought she had a doujutsu of some kind.

"Kakashi has asked me to marry him," Ame said calmly, "which will probably come to pass as soon as my family get their act together and decide who gets to come to Konoha and who has to stay behind."

"Well now you've met them we can go," Kakashi said cheerfully, appearing behind his fiancée in a burst of pure speed and shunshining away with her. Sakura stared at the empty space for a moment befrore turning on her blond team-mate:

"Naruto, talk."

"Not here," Naruto said defensively, "Jiji needs his office and other ninja will be coming in for missions."

"Training ground," Sasuke suggested, clearly interested in the unknown woman with the unheard-of doujutsu. Once all three were gone Kakashi let himself back into the office through the window, Ame cradled in his arms.

"Sakura's never going to stop bugging me now she knows I've got a girlfriend," Kakashi mourned piteously, only half in jest. While Sakura did seen to be putting some effort into becoming a better ninja, she was still far too 'girly' for the copy-ninja. _Long, pink hair and restricting skirts? Give me a break._

"It serves you right for not introducing me to them of your own volition before," Ame replied calmly. "I have been asking for over a week now. Anyway, I'm not just here for them. I need to talk to you and hokage-sama about your latest mission."

"What about it?" the hokage asked shrewdly. Kakashi could tell the Sandaime suspected that there was far more to Ame and her kekkai genkai than the apparent doujutsu.

"Don't worry: any enemies you encounter will we well within your team's capabilities," Ame said, waving a hand dismissively. "Tangentially, has Konoha received any assassination requests for Gatou of Gatou Industries?"

Iruka, the chunnin currently on mission desk duty, shuffled through the A and S-rank mission requests. "Hai, here it is. Deemed only A-rank as the man is neither a shinobi nor employs them to protect himself."

"You should take it, Kashi; the scumbag's based in Nami no kuni and team seven can manage on their own for the two days it would take you to eliminate him," the pregnant woman said matter-of-factly. "Especially considering your recent forays into higher level lightning manipulation."

Kakashi shrugged. "If you say so, koi."

Ame kissed the small area of his right cheek exposed above the upper edge of his mask. "I do say so. And I've found that book on brain activity and area associations you wanted now you've finished the others I lent you." She handed over an Icha Icha sized volume. Kakashi was both surprised and touched that all the books she found for him had those specific dimensions. "This is the first volume of five; enjoy."

The silver haired journin immediately flipped the book open, scooping up the A-rank mission scroll with his other hand. "Arigatou for your help, Iruka-san, hokage-sama. I'd better find my team and make sure they know what to pack for our little excursion."

"I will come with you; I need to talk to Sasuke," Ame said firmly. Both the hokage and Kakashi looked at her carefully. Her close acquaintance with Uchiha Itachi -_he calls her Sempai-chan, acknowledging her as his senior and mentor_- was hardly secret.

"Madara is dead," Ame said flatly, confusing Kakashi and eliciting a gasp from the Sandaime, "so the deception no longer has a purpose. Let the loyal claim their reward. Sasuke is not the last Uchiha by any stretch of the imagination -even if you ignore Itachi- but the boy needs his head fixing. Tsukiyomi does terrible things to the minds of its victims." Ame glared at the hokage, daring him to disagree with her cryptic utterances, "Let the truth be told. Every child needs to know how much they are loved."

Kakashi's gut told him that his lover was skirting the edge of something S-class shaped and was itching to tear a strip off the elderly hokage but restrained herself out of consideration for their ANBU audience. The copy-nin had personally started wondering about the whole Uchiha massacre after his most recent encounter with the rogue Uchiha. Itachi did not act like a nutcase bent on proving how powerful he was. If anything he acted like an ANBU in the field, keeping trusted allies close and deceiving or destroying his enemies. _And his respect for my koi is as boundless and transparent as the sky. He treats her like he treated me when I was his captain in ANBU. Unflinching obedience and absolute trust._

_Could he have pledged his allegiance to her? Are the red clouds her mark?_

_Doubtful: I haven't seen her wear them since she came to Konoha. So the red clouds are another faction which all three of the nukenin associated with her that I have met so far belong to and that she too belongs to on some level. But Itachi's -and possibly Kisame's and this Zetsu's as well- primary loyalty is to her, not the red clouds._

_What a tangle. The more I think on it Itachi's actions make no sense, but when I turn it around to consider what would cause a loyal ANBU captain would slaughter his entire clan in a single evening..._

"I... I will see what can be done," the hokage sighed, drawing Kakashi out of his thoughts.

"You are Hokage of Konohagakure no sato, are you not? You word is law. Make it so."

"I wish it were that simple."

"It _is_ that simple, Sarutobi Hiruzen," Ame said softly, the stars in her eyesockets glinting strangely. "Do not concern yourself with the rot that has taken root: that foundation is not as solid as it appears. The puppetmaster came seeking me so I took it upon myself to neutralise the threat posed to the village my beloved cares for so deeply."

"Danzo," the hokage murmured bitterly.

"Has someone been threatening or pressuring you, Ame-chan?" Kakashi asked, suddenly intensely interested in the coded phrases and inside knowledge his fiancée was trading with the hokage. Where his Ame-koi's well-being was concerned the journin showed not even a shred of his habitual lazy apathy. _What interest has Shimura Danzo in my wife-to-be? She is not a shinobi,is not even a native to this village._

_Perhaps that is the problem. The old war hawk sees enemies in every shadow and conspiracies behind every corner. A powerful foreign woman involved with a high-ranking ninja could easily be seen as a threat. Never mind that she is a miko and dedicated to the health and well-being of those around her._

"Danzo-san has attempted both; I was forced to kill three of his toy soldiers although I was successful in stealing a further eleven away from him," Ame said blandly, as if her statement had not caused all four of the ANBU hiding in the office to double-take in shock. "I am mending them but rehabilitation takes time. The old cripple does not understand that humanity is more than the sum of its sins; that people can chose to give rather than simply take. He persists in setting his puppets on me because in spite of what he has seen he refuses to believe that I can sever the strings that tie them to him." Ame's eyes flashed pure white for a brief instant. "I will give him until he chooses to take hostages to change his ways. Should he try to use my loved ones against me -or anyone else- he will die and no stolen kekkai genkai will prevent me from ending his life."

_Stolen kekkai genkai? Danzo has appropriated a bloodline? One of the doujutsus most likely: They are easier to transplant than the purely genetic ones. Byakugan or Sharingan then?_ Kakashi pushed the whirlwind of speculation to the back of his mind. It was not relevant right now and the hokage would likely investigate the accusation himself. "I leave it to you then, koi, since it appears you have the threat well in hand," he said, relaxing. Sometimes it slipped Kakashi's mind that the slightly short and heavily pregnant woman he was engaged to was the most powerful person he knew.

"You want to take over ROOT?" the Sandaime mused, piercing eyes fixed on Kakashi's fiancée.

Ame stared at the hokage, disappointment glaringly evident. "Sarutobi-san, you have spent entirely too much time amongst politicians if you believe I do this for personal gain. I heal because to leave others to suffer and scream in agony -even only within the privacy of their own minds- is unthinkable to me." She gripped Kakashi's arm and tugged. Kakashi let himself be led out of the office.

"Come on, Kashi; we have your 'cute little students' to see."

Kakashi had no idea of what his fiancée had said to Sasuke, but the boy seemed more thoughtful than angry after the short, private chat she had with him. Sakura was also more subdued after Ame pulled the pink haired kunoichi aside for 'a little heart to heart'. Kakashi gave both genin instructions on what -and how- to pack, handed each a basic sealing scroll and dismissed them both. Then he went to find out what his precious beloved was doing with Naruto.

It turned out she was painting a large mon onto the back of his kimono, right across the width of his shoulders above the Uzu spiral.

"There; finished, Naru-kun. Now all your kimono have my mon on to show that you are a part of my family," Ame told the blond genin. "Be aware that it is a very large family filled with a mix of very different people with disparate hopes, dreams, ideals and goals, some of whom are very strange indeed. Just remember the rules."

"Hai, kaa-san: no trying to kill other family members or their associates, although the second is more of a guideline if they attack you first. Help family whenever possible, always be polite and friendly and never betray family members to non-family. Any issues I have with family members are to be dealt with internally; no airing dirty laundry in public." He paused. "Does this make all those nukenin nii-sans you told me about my oji-sans?"

"Not necessarily. Family is family, Naruto-musuko, but what you choose to call them is up to you. So long as it is not offensive." Ame corrected the whisker-marked blond. "Which reminds me: Kashi, you are going to wear my mon on your clothing as well. I don't want you getting killed by a random missing-nin because they didn't realise you had my protection."

Kakashi acceded gracefully to her demand, dropping bonelessly to the ground so his koi could paint the highly abstract design onto the back of his journin vest.

"There; I've already modified all of your other clothes, so you are both as safe as I can make you without direct interference," She sighed once she'd finished. "Remember to go to bed early, Naru-kun."

"Hai, kaa-san!" Naruto ran off, the long lines of Ame's mon very visible across his shoulder blades.

Kakashi stood up and enfolded his beautiful beloved in a tight embrace. "So I'm your now, am I?" he murmured in her ear, close enough that his mask brushed her skin.

Ame grinned wickedly, eyes dark with only a few dozen faint pinpricks of light visible. "Oh yes. Now and for ever after. Remember the rules though or I'll be forced to punish you."

"Punish me, hmm?" Kakashi purred, nibbling her ear through his mask and making her squirm in his very firm grip. "Perhaps I should be the one punishing you for twisting my arm earlier..." He teased the short curls at the nape of her neck with a few fingers, enjoying how her involuntary shivers transmitted from her body to his. _She is perfect. I wouldn't exchange my Yogensha-koi for all the Icha Icha in the world and a large harem._

Ame slipped her hands under his shirt and lightly skated her fingernails across his stomach, making him weak at the knees. "How about you take me home and I give you a proper goodbye to keep you warm while you're away?"

Kakashi was all for _that_.

* * *

**Notes**

mon = crest or sigil. Worn on clothing, flags and armour and painted on walls

doujutsu = eye technique: a bloodline affecting the eyes, granting improved vision of some kind. Byakugan and sharingan are both doujutsu

A/N: And the first C-rank mission begins, with the genin being considerably more prepared than in canon.


	27. Sasuke: Consideration

**Sasuke: Consideration**

Sasuke leant against a tree just outside Konoha's east gate, waiting for his ever-tardy sensei. He was confused and not enjoying the feeling. Amemai-san had turned all of his certainties sideways, forced him to look underneath the underneath then left him to come to his own conclusions. The worst part was that he suspected with ever-increasing dismay that she had a point.

"You all right, teme?" Uzumaki Naruto had noticed his unsettled state. _Fool that I am. Uchiha do not fidget._

Naruto was nothing like Sasuke had assumed him to be. At the academy the blond had been the dobe, loud, dense and fun to spar against. The latter was still the case but Sasuke had to work harder and harder to stay ahead of his team-mate in taijutsu. The Uchiha was seriously considering learning a new style to help him hold off his insanely hardworking team-mate. Naruto was a stamina freak of the highest order so to beat him Sasuke had to pound him bloody. _And even then the dobe doesn't stay down for long. At least my kenjutsu is improving, though I still can't break through that swirling defence of his. _The blond was starting to talk about his training and had mentioned that the more advanced scrolls he was starting to practice from all contained offensive moves to balance the purely defensive style he had learned up until now.

Sasuke had to admit -if only within the privacy of his own mind- that Uzumaki kenjutsu was a truly formidable sword style, ahead of its field just as Hyuuga gentle fist was in taijutsu. That Uzuna -whirlpool blade- used no chakra whatsoever was just scary.

Naruto was still cheerful and friendly and probably would remain so in the face of anything short of an apocalyptic catastrophe, but he was also keenly observant, driven to succeed and inclined towards inflicting his wicked sense of humour on those who mistreated him. The blond didn't mind helping others to improve and helped Sasuke with his own developing kenjutsu regularly though he also poked at the black haired boy's temper with equal regularity, saying that no ninja could afford to allow their anger to control them.

"Kenjutsu or taijutsu, your style falls apart when you're pissed off," Naruto had told him bluntly after the blond had provoked him during a taijutsu spar and then taken him apart. "Lose your temper and you've lost the fight. It is that simple. I can win any time I like; I just have to get you angry and your hot buttons are not hard to find."

Sasuke found it irritating that the truism did not apply to Naruto; whenever the whiskered boy became genuinely angry Kakashi-sensei got twitchy and made them stop fighting.

This fact of life -combined with Amemai-san's recent talk- had inspired Sasuke to go back over _why_ he was always angry on one level or another. _Itachi slew every last clan member but let me live, saying I was too weak to be worth killing. But the younger children and babies were killed too and they were all weaker than I was. He said he killed them to test his capacity, but obliterating the clan while they were at home eating dinner, unarmed and unaware, is not a real test of what a person is capable of. Plus he was the strongest person in the clan. A real test would have involved attacking the hokage or the other ANBU._

_It makes no sense. All his arguments are full of glaring holes._

_If Itachi really did it for the reasons he related to me, then he was delusional and completely insane. The other more likely option is that he lied to me, which I _cannot believe_ I didn't consider earlier! Especially since he was an ANBU captain and had to have gone through dozens of psychological tests to make it that far._

_So he lied to me about why he killed the clan -if he really did it at all, that could also be a lie- which means his advice is also without merit. Or is it? He basically told me to run away and hide, to survive. Was the clan attacked by an outside force which Itachi was covering up? Was it an internal dispute? Could the clan have slaughtered itself?_

_If so, his ordering me to hate and despise him is rather off. Of course trapping me in Tsukiyomi and forcing me to watch him slaughter everyone was a completely crazy thing to do unless he wanted me to hate him, especially now I know that the way some of them died does not correspond with the visions he showed me._

Sasuke was rather embarrassed that he'd taken the advice of the lunatic who'd destroyed his clan seriously and even tried to build his life around it. Amemai-san's healing technique that countered the damage of the Tsukiyomi had made his thinking clearer and his sleep more restful. It was like a veil had been lifted.

Amemai-san had explained to him that Tsukiyomi was a reverse sharingan genjutsu that forced the victim to remember in complete and perfect detail all they witnessed while trapped inside it. This had preventing him from recovering properly as he was unable to process what he had seen. She had told him that -since most people used the jutsu to inflict horrific _physical_ pain- the majority never noticed that what the victim saw within the genjutsu was always remembered in its entirety. Sasuke could tell -after less than a full day- that allowing her to heal him had been the best decision he had ever made.

"I'm fine dobe," Sasuke replied to Naruto's query. "Amemai-san gave me a lot to think about."

Naruto nodded, eyes following Sakura's pacing as the kunoichi stewed silently, her conflicted expression indicating she was in two minds about something. "Kaa-san's cool like that."

"Kaa-san?" Sasuke knew Naruto had been orphaned at birth.

Naruto shrugged. "She's had people looking after me since I was six, paid for my food, clothing and education and genuinely cares about me. If it wasn't for her I probably would be an oblivious, incompetent loudmouth knucklehead like I pretended to be at the academy." he paused. "Do you really want to learn an extra taijutsu style?"

Sasuke felt his eyes widen involuntarily. _I said that out loud?_

"Hai."

"Northern Mantis would work best for you out of all the styles I know. You're quick on your feet and it would integrate nicely with your clan style."

"Not Dragon?" Sasuke liked the dragon style. It looked powerful and nimble, a perfect combination.

Naruto's large, friendly sky-blue eyes narrowed into angry, purple tinged slits. "That's Uzumaki taijutsu, Sasuke; the secret clan style. If you _ever_ copy it once you get your sharingan I will rip your eyeballs out and shove them down your throat."

"I may not be able to help it in a fight," Sasuke pointed out, secretly shaken by the vehemence of Naruto's graphic threat. "and I've fought against you enough that I can already mimic some of the forms." His team-mate's clear belief that he would eventually acquire the legendary Uchiha doujutsu was nice though.

"Then I request that you never, ever use it unless it is a life and death situation. _Literal_ life and death teme; Dragon Fist and Swirling Blade are all that remains of my clan. Don't disrespect my ancestors' hard work."

"I'll make sure my enemies know that they lost to a proxy Uzumaki if that ever happens," Sasuke smirked.

"Hey, was that humour? Sakura-chan! Sasuke made a joke; is the world ending?"

"Sensei is still late so no," Sakura replied tartly, forcing Sasuke to swallow a chuckle. "Naruto, what are you fiddling with?"

Sasuke actually looked at what Naruto was holding. It looked like a large notebook and a calligraphy brush. A bundle of neat slips of paper stuck out of his kunai pouch.

"They're tags. I'm learning fuuinjutsu because it's my clan speciality like Yamanaka mind jutsu and Akiminchi body jutsu, Naruto muttered. "Don't tell Sensei; he'll confiscate them and try to make me stop."

"Hn." the Uchiha felt slightly cheated. Naruto's clan had left him more useful techniques than Sasuke's had despite having been dead and gone long before the blond was even born.

"Teme, the Uchiha were like magpies; they taught you the basics then expected you to beg, borrow or steal everything else and build your own unique style. Uzumakis were more structured, partly because they ran a village for a few hundred years. We are seal and sword masters first and everything else is secondary. I actually have an Uzumaki text book which states that it was expected for us to reach a certain level in both before we were allowed to start learning the other jutsu types in order to pick a third specialisation," Naruto said, tucking his tags, notebook and brush out of sight. "I'm going to pick ninjutsu as my third since my chakra reserves are ridiculously huge."

"If I were to choose three fields what do you think they should be?" Sasuke asked. Once again the blonde had divined the source of his irritation and diffused his anger before it took root. Naruto was better at calming him down that the silly civilian counsellor he'd had to visit after the massacre had ever been.

Naruto squinted at him foxily. "You're pretty damn good with your ninja-to for a beginner, so kenjutsu rather than taijutsu. That most ninja stick to taijutsu gives you a further edge. Genjutsu because you can do it consistently and your reserves are big enough to do complex ones and layer them. Illusions are a great combination with a blade because you can fool your opponent into defending the wrong area. When you get your sharingan you'll be able to cast genjutsu without seals which will make the combination even more effective. For a third... Ninjutsu. You have a knack for it. Plus, the pure elemental stuff is really, really cool. Chunnin to journin level, but cool."

Sasuke liked the picture that painted. He also liked the sound of 'pure elemental stuff'. Some of the scrolls back at the compound mentioned elemental manipulation. _I'll have to look into it once we get back..._

"What about me?" Sakura asked hopefully. Sasuke wasn't sure what to make of her today. She hadn't squealed once. It was unsettling.

Naruto eyeballed the pink tressed kunoichi. "Genjutsu as primary. You are creepily imaginative with it. I _did_ notice that nasty balance affecting one you tried in our last spar, Sakura-chan. Taijutsu second because you are a natural at hitting things. You enjoy it -don't deny it- so so you work hard. Third..." Naruto paused. "I recommend that you investigate ijutsu. The team could use a medical specialist and you have the intellect and the control to excel."

Sakura blinked. "Medical? That sounds," she paused, brow furrowing, "wimpy. I want to be a strong kunoichi."

That was news to Sasuke. _She doesn't want to be a fragile damsel any more? Has given up on me rescuing her by choice rather than necessity? What happened and can it be done to the rest of the shrieking horde?_

"Medicine is about how the body is put together, which includes how to take it apart," Naruto said flatly. "It is very difficult and required tremendous control and vast amounts of in-depth knowledge that may only be used once but all of which is critical. Ame-kaa-san knows some healing and it enabled her to mend Sasuke's mind after it was damaged by an S-class genjutsu. Medical knowledge will enable you to improve your taijutsu to strike sensitive areas and impact points. Doctors are not wimpy; Why do you think I hate hospitals? It's because they're full of people who know how to reverse -and therefore deal out- life-threatening injuries."

Sasuke would never admit it, but Naruto had a point. "Is Amemai-san an iryou-nin?"

"No, she has some kind of healing bloodline. Ame-kaa-san denies being a doctor because none of what she does can be replicated by those without the bloodline. Not replicated easily, anyway. I think she mentioned 'five years of study and dozens of willing test subjects' as one of the conditions."

"Hello students!" Kakashi called out brightly as he appeared behind Sakura. The pinkette spun around and took a deep breath then hesitated.

"You are never going to arrive when you are supposed to, are you sensei," she stated flatly.

Kakashi eyesmiled at them, a small book with an orange dust jacket dangling from one hand. "Probably not."

The little orange books had reappeared a week after the so-called survival exercise, but Naruto hadn't reacted as violently to them. The Uchiha had asked the blond about it and learned that the new books only looked like Icha Icha.

Sakura deflated, shoulders sagging. "Well we're here, you're here and the client's here. Lets go."

Kakashi looked a little bemused by the subdued kunoichi. "Off we go then."

Sasuke fell in step beside Naruto. "What's with her, dobe?"

Naruto shrugged. "Kaa-san had a word with her about professional kunoichi behaviour. No idea what was said but I think Sakura was intimidated; kaa-san knows more ninja stuff than sensei and she isn't even a kunoichi."

"What is she then?"

Naruto glanced at him sideways and lowered his voice to a mere whisper. "Miko and yogensha. Don't tell."

Sasuke blinked. He'd never met anyone blessed by the kami before. They were rare, far rarer than kekkai genkai. The prophetic gifts were one of the rarest of those granted, healing being more common. _Though he said she could do that as well._ That explained why she had been so insistent he go over the past with clear eyes; she had somehow seen he was making a mistake that easily could be corrected.

_The idea of Kakashi marrying a miko is somewhat ridiculous, but she doesn't seem to mind._

_

* * *

_

**Notes**

Ijutsu = medical techniques

Iryou = pertaining to medicine and healing

miko = priestess

A/N: I had no idea this was coming. Sasuke just had to say his piece. Anyway, on with the mission!


	28. Naruto: Mission

**Naruto: Mission**

Escorting Tazuna the self-proclaimed 'super bridge builder' back to wave was boring. Very boring, since they had to travel at civilian speeds. By noon on the first day Naruto was hoping for bandits, wolves, _anything_ to alleviate the monotony. He'd resorted to teaching his team-mates sign language so they could insult their drunk client without getting into trouble.

The puddle in the middle of the road was the first suspicious circumstance in three whole days.

'Chakra in water;' Naruto signed to his fellow genin. 'Strategy?'

'Flower protect client' Sasuke signed back. 'Spiral and Fan confront.'

'Confirmed.'

'Confirmed.'

Sakura sped up slightly, engaging Tazuna in a conversation on various fish dishes. Naruto drifted until he was directly behind the bridge builder as Sasuke wandered a little to one side. None of the three bothered to alert Kakashi-sensei to what they were doing; he was a competent journin for all his apathy and could _see_ what they were up to. Naruto was just grateful his sensei had stopped reading Icha Icha, for all he insisted on his newer books all having orange covers.

They stepped over the puddle without incident. Naruto felt the back of his neck prickle about fifteen seconds later.

'Incoming.'

He turned just in time to see Kakashi-sensei being shredded by a spiked chain being wielded by a pair of ninjas wearing rebreathers and water camouflage.

"One down," the duo intoned, advancing on Naruto.

The blond was pissed off already. His sensei -who wasn't dead _dammit_ despite appearances- had left his team and the client at the mercy of a pair of probably-chunnin who smelt of water, blood and poisons. He drew the Wakizashi Ame-kaa-san had given him for the mission and took the nearest attacker's arm off at the shoulder in one smooth movement, following through with a slash that took off the dying man's head.

The surviving ninja's eyes widened behind his clear mask. "Brother!" he roared, charging at Naruto with the clawed gauntlet on his dominant arm . Naruto settled into his stance and fended off the enraged man, wishing as he did that he had leaned more proper offensive moves. _Or failing that, a jutsu I could use the one-handed seals for._ Naruto could do henge seallessly and kawarimi one-handed. Kage bunshin was two-handed by design, so that was out. _I need more jutsu. I'll have to ask sensei. The other two know all those genjutsu so I'm behind in that respect._

Naruto was starting to worry there had been another ninja hiding in the bushes that had taken out his team-mates when a stream of fire whizzed over his head and char-grilled his opponent.

"Teme!" Naruto shouted, frantically patting his singed hair. "What's wrong with kunai? You nearly set my head on fire!"

Sasuke shrugged unrepentantly as Kakashi-sensei materialised from the tree-line and took charge of the badly burned ninja. Naruto stomped back over to the mutilated body of the chunnin he'd killed and started stripping it. _Waste not. Especially not when it's ninja supplies._

"What are you doing, dobe?"

"Restocking. Mind the claw; it's poisoned," Naruto said absently, going through the corpse's pockets and finding vials of the same poison that was on the claws and something that was probably antidote, a load of shuriken and kunai and a very nice lock picking kit. "Oi, Sakura-chan! Do you want the gauntlet?"

The girl blinked palely, staring in horror at the dismembered body he was robbing. "Nani?"

Naruto held out the clawed glove to his female team-mate. "It's got poison on the blades but it would fit nicely into your taijutsu style. Especially if we liberated the other one from moron number two; you could have a matched set."

"That's... thoughtful of you, Naruto," Sakura managed, "I.. they look interesting. I'd like to try them out."

"Good. No need to waste good quality equipment. What do you think of the chain, Sasuke?"

"Flashy."

"True, but that doesn't mean we should dump it." Naruto pulled out a pair of compact sealing scrolls. "The stripped corpse went into one, the liberated ninja gear and clothing into the other. "Hey, sensei! Does your one have anything worth salvaging?"

Kakashi looked up from the blackened body he was examining. "The gauntlet, a dozen kunai and a few shuriken plus his trousers and boots. Everything else has been burnt away."

"See, teme! I told you fireballs were wasteful!"

"Shut up dobe."

Kakashi got to his feet again. "He's dead; the second and third degree burns sent him into shock and his lungs where too badly burnt to take the strain. Tazuna-san, would you like to explain why you have the Demon Brothers after you? As this is supposed to be a C-class mission we should only be defending you from wild animals and bandits, not chunnin level ninja."

Naruto carefully stripped the charred corpse of anything remotely usable while Kakashi-sensei pressured the drunk into spilling the beans, listening to the conversation with half an ear. Apparently some big shot businessman didn't want Tazuna's bridge to be finished and had hired some nukenin to make it so. The blond didn't really care; this was his first real mission and he wasn't going to fail. _Anyway if it really was more than we could handle kaa-san would have warned us._

His self-appointed task complete Naruto ambled over to the rest of the party, handing Sakura the two carefully cleaned gauntlets. _Shadow clones are so useful._ "How much are these two worth, sensei?"

"Well, they were chunnin but I'm not sure of the exact figure."

"Since Sasuke and I killed them can we take the bodies back to Konoha and get the money?"

The journin shrugged. "If you've got enough scrolls, why not?"

"Yatta! You'll be able to buy that ninja-to you liked after all, teme!"

"Hn." Sasuke did not look well. Skin should not be clammy greenish grey.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked more quietly. The black haired genin was staring at the blackened corpse cooling slowly on the grass. "First kill?"

The Uchiha's eyes drifted back to his feet. "Hn."

"First time sucks," Naruto said gently as Tazuna pleaded with Kakashi-sensei. "The horror, the internal conflict, the feeling of dirtiness under the skin where you can't wash it off... It's okay to throw up. It's normal. Don't bottle up the feeling. Let it out and get rid of it properly."

"Hn." Sasuke bolted into the trees.

"I'm on it Sensei!" Naruto called out as he jogged after his team-mate.

"I didn't know fire could do that to people," Sasuke muttered hoarsely when Naruto found him on his hands and knees over a puddle of vomit. "The smell..."

"I don't feel like I could ever eat barbeque again right now either Sasuke," Naruto commiserated, offering the younger boy a water bottle. "It's okay to cry if you want; I certainly did."

"Last month?" _Well, isn't he perceptive._

"That was my second kill. It was almost worse than the first one, though," Naruto whispered sadly, the image of the broken brothel girls floating through his mind.

"How old were you for your first?"

Naruto sighed. "Ten. Some civilian asshole tried to rape a girl I knew. I slashed his carotid open with her tessen. Blood _everywhere_. Clothes, hair, eyes, mouth... I had nightmares for weeks afterwards about all that red."

Sasuke nodded, a few tears slipping down his cheeks as he shivered silently.

"I'll tell you what sensei told me: being a ninja involves killing. It cannot be avoided. The pain and horror will fade in time but the day you stop hating the necessity is the day you stop being human and they day you enjoy it is the day you become a monster. There are ninja like that out there." Naruto paused, tactfully looking away from his team-mate and ignoring the shuddering gasps and sniffling sounds. "I promised myself that I would do my best to kill quickly and cleanly. Killing is wrong but as ninja it is required of us. I refuse to force my opponents to suffer unnecessarily. That's part of why I like kenjutsu so much."

"I don't think I'll be able to stomach using katon jutsu for a while," Sasuke admitted roughly, unusually subdued. The other boy seemed to have found Naruto's talk comforting. _Go figure; I am a competent counsellor after all. The hokage needs more ninja therapists. Something for those injured in the line of duty to retrain in perhaps?_

"We can ask Sensei to teach us some new techniques; I'm still stuck on the academy two plus shadow clones since I can't do genjutsu. Sure I know the signs but I can't use them any more than I can do normal bunshin. What's the point in learning half a dozen jutsu I can't even do? "

"Dobe."

"Ah, so you are better. Good. Shall we go back?"

Sasuke stood, wobbled a bit and carefully braced his fingertips against Naruto's shoulder to steady himself. "Hn."

Back at the road Naruto gave the bridge builder the evil eye, Sasuke still loitering behind him. _Who died and made me den mother? I just had to get the sensei without a maternal bone in his body and the team-mate most in need of hugs. I'd hug him if I didn't know it would disturb him more than killing already has. Bloody gender stereotyping. Men need hugs too!_

_Just not like Maito-san does it. That isn't emotional support, it's a psychological attack!_

"Naruto?" Kakashi-sensei asked.

"First kill," Naruto replied succinctly, still glaring at Tazuna. "I am _not happy_ that this moron's lies have messed up my team-mate," he added, baring elongating fangs at the cowering client and letting the bijuu chakra swirling in his throat flare in his eyes. With the addition of the Yin chakra anything kyuubi-related was now sunflower orange rather than blood red, so his irises changed to amber as his pupils constricted to vertical slits.

It certainly had the desired effect on the bridge builder. Naruto could smell the fear spike.

"Maa, calm down Naruto-kun," Kakashi-sensei said lazily, though Naruto could sense the journin was ready to jump into action should he lose control. "The question is, do you want to continue the mission or shall we return to the village?"

Naruto turned to look at the Uchiha, clamping down on his tenant's chakra. This was not an emergency. "Teme? Your call. He screwed you over the worst."

Sasuke pinned the bridge builder with the infamous Uchiha Stare, face still pale and slightly green. "We go on. I don't want my first kill to be on a mission we couldn't be bothered to finish. I want it to mean something."

That was more words in one sentence than the Uchiha usually spoke in an entire day.

"Onwards then," Naruto agreed. "Sakura?"

The pink haired girl looked nervous but determined. "Hai. I won't try to use the gauntlets until after I've had a chance to practice with them, though."

"Onwards it is then," Kakashi-sensei agreed amiably. "Lead on, Tazuna-san."

They were on the road for another three days, three days of zealous training and mounting paranoia. Kakashi helped Sakura with a new genjutsu, taught Naruto a doton technique that destabilised the ground under his opponent's feet and Sasuke a raiton jutsu copied off a Kumo chunnin that could be used to electrically charge kunai and shuriken. It could also be used to electrocute on contact depending on the amount of chakra added to the jutsu. Sasuke trained obsessively both with the jutsu and the basic Mantis taijutsu Naruto had started teaching him. The two combined extremely well.

On the fourth day after the fight with the Demon Brothers they reached the coast, where Tazuna led them to an unkempt guy with a boat who agreed to ferry them over to Nami no kuni. The air was still and misty as the ferryman quietly paddled them across the water and under a huge, looming structure.

"Hey, it's huge," Naruto muttered.

"It's my bridge," Tazuna replied quietly. "I really hope I can finish it. The people of Wave are counting on me."

"We won't fail this mission," Sasuke said flatly, ending the conversation. Naruto eyed the other boy worriedly.

_He doesn't look too good. Then again, first kill; I'd be more concerned if he acted like nothing had happened. _

The ferryman left them on the far shore, saying he couldn't risk being discovered by Gatou. Tazuna thanked the man for his help and led the four ninja away through the trees towards his home.

Not long into the last leg of their journey Naruto got a twitchy feeling. He had trained himself in chakra sensing for long enough that he could tell when he was being watched by someone hiding their chakra. He flung a kunai into the bush the feeling was coming from.

"Dammit! I missed!" he grumbled as Sakura revealed the bleeding rabbit his kunai had grazed. _Kawarimi is such a pain when the other guy is using it._

"Everybody down!" Kakashi-sensei shouted. The three genin hit the dirt: Sasuke dragging the bridge builder down with him, Sakura still clutching the bleeding rabbit and Naruto squashed underneath their sensei. A whiz of metal overhead told Naruto exactly how close he'd come to being decapitated.

A large, bare chested ninja with bandages covering the lower half of his face, no eyebrows and a Mist hitai-ite landed on the handle of the huge sword now embedded in a nearby tree.

"Well, well, well. Sharingan no Kakashi, what an honour to meet such a famous ninja in the bingo book. I don't suppose I can convince you to hand over the bridge builder?"

"Momochi Zabuza, the Demon in the Mist. No can do, I'm afraid," Kakashi replied coolly, pushing Naruto behind him. The short blond did not resist, narrowing his eyes at the huge sword the eyebrowless ninja was balanced on. There was something about the hilt end of the blade...

"Hey, he's got kaa-san's mon on his sword!"

The nukenin's eyes moved to stare at Naruto. "Kaa-san?"

"Yep!" Naruto turned around so the swordsman could see his back and pointed a thumb at the design spread across the shoulders of his kimono. "See?"

Momochi Zabuza, infamous missing-nin, paled visibly. "Yogensha-sama is your _mother?_"

"She sort-of adopted me," Naruto explained, sensing weakness, "and she's engaged to marry Sensei."

The Demon in the Mist looked at Kakashi-sensei again. "Oh, so you're _that_ guy! Forget the bridge builder; I'm going to pound you bloody for disrespecting Yogensha-sama and getting her pregnant!"

Naruto escaped the immediate area of the imminent fight and ran over to where his other team-mates had hustled Tazuna as Zabuza charged Kakashi-sensei, who dodged madly, pushing up his headband to reveal a triple-tomoed red eye.

"Sharingan?" Sasuke murmered, then asked "Amemai-san knows this person?" as the nukenin used the Kirigakure no jutsu, shrouding the battlefield and surrounding area with a thick blanket of fog.

"Hai. I think she knows a lot of nukenin, which is most of why I have to wear her mon."

"So he knows not to kill you," Sasuke deduced.

"Hai. I doubt it will carry over to you and Sakura though."

"Eight points to strike for a kill. Larynx, spine, lungs, liver jugular, collarbone and heart," Zabuza's voice reverberated through the mist, heavy with killing intent. "Choices, choices; Where do I strike first?"

Naruto noticed his team-mates faltering under the weight of the nukenin's Killing Intent and chanelled a burst of Kyuubi-enhanced KI back towards where his -admittedly muffled- chakra sense told him the ninja was currently standing.

"Don't worry; I won't let my comrades die," Kakashi-sensei said from a little to their right.

"Promises, promises, copy-nin," growled Zabuza's voice directly above Naruto's left ear. "Nice sword, kid," he added softly, "fancy a lesson in silent killing later?"

Naruto grinned. "Please?" he begged hopefully as Kakashi-sensei knocked the former mist-nin away from Tazuna.

Three mizu bunshin later Zabuza had the other journin trapped in a water prison while yet another mizu bunshin blocked the genin from interfering.

"Hey, Blondie!" the mizu bunshin said. "How's Yogensha-sama doing?"

"My name isn't Blondie, it's Uzumaki Naruto! Kaa-san's doing very well. She told me Sensei was her soul mate, so please don't kill him. I think she'd be angry if that happened."

The nukenin and his clone both shivered. "I'm just waiting for him to pass out," The original promised. "No lasting harm."

"That's okay then!" Naruto said brightly, ignoring the fact that Kakashi-sensei was mouthing 'traitor' at him. "She's seven months pregnant now and I think she's starting to find it a bit uncomfortable. Mood swings, I think." He paused. "I think she misses her family, too. None of the people she talks about have come to visit since she moved to Konoha. I kinda understand the nukenin not dropping by, but it's not fair on her that the others aren't making the effort."

"I'll see what I can do, kid," Zabuza mused. "Wait a moment... Uzumaki? A real Uzumaki?"

"Believe it!" Naruto said proudly.

"We are so going to spar later, kid."

"Sure thing, No Brows."

The Demon in the Mist twitched. "What did you just call me?"

Naruto shrugged as if he hadn't noticed how much the nukenin despised his impromptu nickname. "You have no eyebrows, so I called you No Brows. You got a problem with that?" Kakashi-sensei's chakrs was starting to fluctuate a little erratically and it bothered him. _A journin shouldn't be tiring this quickly. Is it something to do with that sharingan eye?_

The bunshin brandished its sword menacingly. "We're sparring now, brat!" it cried as it lunged at him. Naruto ducked and weaved, not bothering to draw his own blade as Ame-kaa-san's advice ran through his head:

_'Do not draw your blade against a master swordsman unless you too have attained mastery.'_

Dodging the man-sized blade nimbly, the blonde fell into a Mantis stance with a kunai grasped in each hand. The mizu bunshin swung at him again and he ducked, dashing forward to stab the clone in the stomach. The clone promptly dissolved into water, splashing all over him.

"I sparred; now give Sensei back," Naruto growled, his blood singing in his ears from the short fast fight. Kakashi-sensei's chakra was faded and worryingly wobbly, which the bijuu in his gut did not like at all. _He will not harm kaa-san's mate._

Zabuza chuckled. "Sure thing kid. See you around." The nukenin shunshined away in a swirl of mist, allowing the water prison to collapse, freeing the copy-nin. Kakashi-sensei fell to his hands and knees on the water's surface and coughed up more water, pulling his hitai-ite down over his swirling red-and-black eye.

"Well, that was interesting," The silver haired journin muttered, swaying on his feet as he made it back to solid ground. "At least he didn't try to kill Tazuna on his way out."

"I think he didn't want to risk me getting in the way, Sensei," Naruto suggested.

"More likely he wants an excuse to come back and have another go at me later," Kakashi-sensei grumbled, then keeled over. "Damn."

"What's wrong, Sensei?" Sakura asked, worried.

"Chakra exhaustion; you'll have to carry me. Sorry," Kakashi-sensei muttered. "Using the sharingan took a lot out of me."

""Then you should either train harder with it or get used to fighting other journin without it," Naruto murmured softly as he wrapped his arms under the journin's armpits and Sasuke gripped the man's knees. "Having a genin team is no excuse for getting out of shape."

The look his sensei gave him was somewhere between exasperation and rueful agreement.

"Since he is bound to come back sooner or later," the copy-nin said evenly, "I think it's time I started working on your chakra control.

Naruto grinned. _Finally!_

_

* * *

_A/N: Working out an alternative for the bridge arc that was in line with the changes I'd already set up was a little difficult, and will involve a significant deviation from canon in the details if not the overall plot. I inserted Sasuke's first kill because I felt that it was important to his personal development. In canon he clearly has no clue what a fire-ball does to flesh up close or he wouldn't use it so haphazardly.

On a brighter note, I'm thinking of adding a new story containing bits and pieces of not-really-outtakes that may or may not be in line with future plot. Team seven plus Yamato's first encounter with Sai, for instance. I have that pretty much planned out already. Poor Sai. Poor, poor Yamato, getting such a disfunctional team.

Finally, many thanks to marc() for the encoraging reviews!


	29. Interlude: Izumo

**Interlude: Izumo**

Izumo rather enjoyed gate duty. It was restful, fairly risk-free and the pay wasn't bad. _Who cares that it's the chunnin eqivalent of D-ranks? Certainly not Kotetsu or I._

_Of course, fairly risk-free is not entirely risk-free_, the chunnin reflected nervously as he kept an eye on the very tall figure calmly making his way towards the western gate of Konohagakure at civilian walking speed. All Izumo could see from this distance was a shiny red conical hat and a loose brown cloak that hung to the man's knees -it had to be a man as no woman had shoulders like that- and red armour that matched the hat covering his shins and feet.

The man's chakra signature was huge, comparable to Uzumaki Naruto's, but not particularly hostile. _Then again, when you have more chakra than two kages and are over seven feet tall you don't need to be hostile to be intimidating._

"Izumo? What are the odds that is one of Amemai-san's 'friends'?" Kotetsu asked his partner as the figure drew closer. Word that Hatake-san's fiancée was on friendly terms with every last S-class ninja in the elemental countries had been through the rumour mill several times in the past month. Having seen Zetsu, Izumo was not among the sceptics.

"No bet," the chunnin muttered, "and I think I know who he is. He's in the bingo book."

"Who?" Kotetsu asked curiously. Of the two, only Izumo found reading more of a pleasure than a chore.

"Iwa no Han, jinchuuriki of the Gobi no Irukaume; Akasenmou," Izumo said softly.

His spiky haired friend swallowed hard. "If it _is_ the Red Madness, what happens to us if he doesn't have the right paperwork to enter the village?" 'Do not provoke crazy ninja with more chakra than you do' was pretty much a ninja rule, for all it wasn't an official one.

"He's just walking quietly, so whatever he's here for probably isn't urgent," Izumo tried to reassure himself and his colleague, "So he probably won't blast us for doing our jobs..." _I hate dealing with insane ninja. There just isn't a right answer for any of them._

He huge shinobi walked closer. The only part of him not hidden by armour or clothing was a rectangular area around his eyes: the rest of his head was swathed in white wrappings and even his hands were armoured. Izumo wondered what on earth the Tsuchikage had been smoking when he gave the order to seal a bijuu in this particular individual, who was clearly dangerous without needing an additional demonic power boost.

"Ano, your papers? Please?" Kotetsu asked hopefully as the looming shinobi reached the gates. Izumo noticed that the armoured giant wasn't wearing a hitai-ite. Rumour had it that both of Iwa's jinchuuriki had left their native village after a disagreement with the Tsuchikage. It seemed that that particular rumour had been accurate.

The seven-foot shinobi silently proffered a wad of documents in a red-armoured fist as big as Izumo's head. Kotetsu accepted the paperwork and carefully sorted through them. "Shinobi licence," Kotetsu muttered, "Papers for release from the forces of Tsuchi no kuni signed by the daimyo, conditional on not joining another village's forces or revealing national secrets, Hi no kuni free travel pass-"

"What?" Izumo was shocked. _How, where and why did he get one of those?_

"It's genuine. Only about six weeks old, too," Kotetsu confirmed, clearly bemused. Izumo craned his neck to meet the red-armoured jinchuuriki's eyes.

"Well, your papers appear to be in order, Han-san. Might I ask what your business is in Konohagakure?"

Mismatched brown and green eyes focused on the chunnin. "I am visiting Yogensha-chan," the gigantic shinobi replied softly, his voice deep and carrying. "Her foster father requested that I mediate for him after his duties called him away from her. I also carry correspondence from other family members."

Izumo was torn. On the one hand Han had -according to his papers- ever legal right to enter the village unmolested. On the other, he was a highly recognisable shinobi and former enemy of Konoha, credited with the deaths of dozens of Leaf ninja during the third shinobi war. "Are you here to see Amemaihana-san, the lady with the starry eyes?"

"Yogensha-chan. Hai."

"Then I'll escort you to her home so you don't accidentally cause a riot," Izumo decided. "Kotetsu, would you send a message to the tower and get a temporary replacement down here?" Legally, the gates had to be manned by at least two chunnin at all times.

"Sure," Kotetsu shrugged, the bandage across his nose shifting.

"Good. This way, Han-san," Izumo said, leading the way towards the Hatake estate. All leaf ninja knew exactly where Hatake Kakashi lived; his fiancée's unorthodox experiments with sealing a little over a month earlier had been impossible to miss. The chunnin's neck prickled as the jinchuuriki fell in step behind his right shoulder, mismatched eyes taking in the sights.

No ninja still on active duty had actually faced the Akasenmou on the battlefield. The jinchuuriki's steam-based attacks had so injured the few who survived their encounter with him that they were forced to retire. Their less fortunate comrades had been boiled alive alongside those Rock-nins who had failed to escape the taget area in time. It was his indifference in dispatching both friend and foe -as well as his habit of talking out loud to his bijuu- that had earned him the nickname of Red Insanity.

Izumo suspected that the vicious indifference Han had showed his fellow Iwa ninja was prompted by the latter's treatment of the jinchuuriki. If that was indeed the case, the chunnin was profoundly grateful for Uzumaki Naruto's generous and forgiving nature. If Naruto ever became truly angry with the village -which honestly he would be justified in doing- Konohagakure would probably be wiped off the map in a matter of minutes. That a solid percentage of civilians -and the occasional ninja- _still_ mistreated the blond boy made Izumo wish the Sandaime was not quite so protective of those in his care. _A little private heart-to-heart for the ignorant with a few concerned ninja would be most beneficial to the boy's well-being. Maybe even with Ibiki-san._

"So, how did you meet Amemai-san?" Izumo asked, deciding that conversation would be the best way to distract himself from his companion's oppressive aura.

"It was during the third shinobi war. She was about five years old and living on the move with her caretaker within the boarders of Tsuchi no kuni," Han rumbled quietly. "I stumbled across her on my way back from a mission. She looked at me without a hint of fear and told me that putting the Gobi within me had damaged me, which I knew already. She then offered to heal the damage, which I laughed at. Five year-olds are not healers." He paused. "I was most surprised when her actions were successful. One does not expect a vagabond child to be more skilled in the healing arts than the Slug Princess."

"I'd heard she could heal but I didn't realise she was that good," Izumo admitted.

"She also had words with the Gobi, which has made life since less difficult," The jinchuuriki continued. "I owe her much. I sometimes wish her temper was less erratic and her humour more conventional, however."

"Erratic..?" Izumo probed delicately. He'd not even heard of Amamai-san getting even slightly flustered, let alone angry.

Han shrugged. "Sometimes she takes the most horrific calamities and stressful situations in her stride, other times she blasts those who offend her without hesitation. It is her sense of humour you really have to look out for though." He paused. "speaking of which, some fool appears to have set her off." He hurried past Izumo towards the gates of the Hatake estate. The chunnin ran after him, having also noticed the climbing chakra signature and oppressive KI radiating from the compound. Izumo pushed through the gates of the compound -ignoring the shivery feeling of passing through a seal perimeter- just in time to see Shimura Danzo, the one armed old war-hawk himself, be forcibly ejected from the front door of the new Hatake clan house.

"Would you like me to kill him for you, Yogensha-sama?" Han asked as the one eyed man rolled to a stop about six feet away from where the former Iwa-nin was standing.

"No thank-you, Han. If anyone is killing Danzo-san today It will me me," Amemai hissed furiously, icy pale blue chakra dancing over her hands as she advanced down the front steps of the house towards where the bandaged cripple was struggling to his feet. "How _dare_ you slander me in my own home before my guests!"

The impressive curve of her belly and rather waddling gait did not make her rage any less terrifying to behold. Izumo wished Kakashi were here, or at least the young Uzumaki; those two she actually listened to. _But as a ninja of Konohagakure I cannot simply stand by and watch a murder take place._

_Where are the ANBU when you need them?_

"Amemai-san," he began cautiously, "If you try to kill the honoured elder I will be forced to intervene."

"I can incapacitate you if prefer, Izumo-san," Amemai said dangerously, the stars in her eyes flashing erratically and blindingly bright. "I've only been here a month and a half and I've already had enough of the petty ambitions of a man past his prime who threatens the integrity of his own village with his treasured delusions." Her chakra levels were _still_ climbing, Izumo noted miserably. She was well into elite journin territory now and showed no sign of tiring.

"Your ridiculous accus-" Danzo started, only to be interrupted by the very angry pregnant woman whose hair and clothing had started to sway in the newly created breeze.

"Silence, traitor! You bargain with madmen and nukenin! You colluded to ensure the downfall of the Uchiha clan and aided Orochimaru in his experiments to cement your own power base!" Amemai shouted, chakra skyrocketing as she trembled in absolute fury. "You communicate with him to this day! Your soul is black and your mind blind to anything save your own advancement! You disgust me!"

Izumo noted with relief that the shouting had finally attracted the attention of the ANBU assigned to keeping an eye on the village's newest and most enigmatic civilian. An ANBU in a lizard mask had shunshined off -presumably for reinforcements- as soon as Amemai's chakra had hit Kage level. The remaining two flickered down to ground level, both keeping a prudent distance away from the fuming female.

"Those are serious accusations, Amemai-san. Have you evidence or witnesses to substantiate your claims?" The one in the rat mask asked.

"Of course not. She is either delusional or slandering m- urk!" Danzo was cut of by Han casually chopping him across the throat.

"Let your betters speak, tree hugger."

Amemai snarled, eyes gleaming vindictively. "Of course I have proof. He's been sending brainwashed little soldiers after me for the past fortnight, all of them marked with illegal silencing seals. It is unfortunate for Danzo-san that the seals do not prevent them from using sign language or writing down what they know. I have discovered all manner of interesting things of late. Did you know that he has a stolen sharingan implanted in his covered eye-socket? Or that he has had his missing arm replaced by Orochimaru, who has implanted mokuton-bearing DNA into it? So many dirty secrets-"

Danzo chose this moment to launch an attack on his accuser. The sealless wind jutsu tore through the area where she was standing like a thousand whirling razorblades. Amemai's instantaneous appearance behind her opponent to lay a powerful blow to the back of his neck, however, swiftly dispelled any concern the bystanders may have had for her safety.

"Sharingan, fuuin," she intoned bitingly, the seals crawling not only over the bandages on the left side of his head but also the bindings around the left side of his body. Then she stepped back, taking several deep calming breaths, fists clenched.

"ANBU-san," She went on more evenly, "I place him in your care. I trust there will be a full investigations into his past actions and a just punishment meted out. If he escapes and comes after me again I _will_ take matters into my own hands." She paused, breathing deeply. "And I would like 'attempted murder of a clan heir' to the charges. Had I been less alert the children I carry would have been killed in his attack."

The air around both ANBU became dark and oppressive, reminding Izumo rather forcibly of how highly regarded Hatake Kakashi was by the black ops division. _Angry ANBU. I really wish I wasn't here._

"I will see to it personally, Amemai-san," Rat said coldly. "What of ROOT?"

"The Yuurei are dismantling it as we speak, which is probably what prompted Danzo-san to resort to this rather clumsy confrontation and assassination attempt," Amemai admitted. Izumo recognised that the conversation was entering confidential areas and did his best to blend into the background. That Han was also managing to avoid drawing attention to himself said a great deal about the other shinobi's skills.

"Yuurei?" the other ANBU inquired.

"Former ROOT ninja. Rehabilitating them completely will take time, but they will be able to serve Konoha and the hokage even in their current state. I doubt any one of them will ever be suited to public relations, however."

A new ANBU arrived and engaged in a very rapid whispered conversation with the two already present.

"The hokage has informed ANBU of your... project," the rat-masked ANBU said. "You have his permission to assume control of what is left of ROOT, provided all documentation and testimonies are handed over to ANBU for a full investigation. Funding will be provided so that your new dependants will be adequately provided for until capable to assume their duties once more."

The other two ANBU approached Danzo, who was beginning to stir. "Shmura Danzo, by order of the Sandaime hokage you are under arrest for misappropriation of village funds, attempted murder of clan heirs, associating with enemies of the state and high treason."

Izumo watched shakily as Danzo was restrained with chakra-suppressing cuffs and shunshined away. The bandaged old war-hawk had been a village fixture for decades; to discover that the man had quietly been committing treason al the while was a nasty shock.

Another shock came as three identical ninja in ANBU garb wearing tight-fitting hoods and smooth white masks painted with identical cheery smirks shunshined in.

"Root is secured," the one on the left said.

"All personnel are confined to quarters and restrained until a proper debriefing can be carried out," said the one on the right.

"Paperwork has been secured and sealed until the hokage selects a suitable party to catalogue it," the one in the middle finished.

Izumo blinked. _They even sound the same. How is that possible? I can't even tell what gender they are._

These are Yuurei?" Rat asked, slight bemusement shading his voice.

"Hai!" the three chorused. Izumo found the row of identical foxy grins and smiley eyes painted on their masks profoundly disturbing. It reminded him of how Naruto looked right before he pranked you. _Or worse, when he has already pranked you and you haven't noticed yet._

"Yogensha-sama, I had prayed your sense of humour was not contagious; sadly the kami appear to have denied my plea," Han commented dryly, drawing the attention of all present.

"Han? It _is_ you! Gomen nasai for ignoring you up until this point; I have been a very poor host. I trust your journey here was uneventful?"

"Charmingly dull, Yogensha-sama. I am curious, however: you accused Danzo-san of slander; what did he say to cause you to erupt so spectacularly?"

"Kakashi didn't want me to be lonely while he was away and insisted I meet some of his fellow journin socially and get to know them better. I was having tea with Ibiki-san when Danzo-san barged in and accused me of all kinds of things. Among them being unfaithful to my fiancée."

Izuma gaped. "Amemai-san, are you suggesting that Danzo-san accused you of having an affair with _the head of the T&I department_?"

"I'm not sure which of us was more offended," Ibiki said, emerging from the shadow of the partially open front door. "I myself am rather looking forward to finding out _exactly_ what the old war monger has been getting up to."

"I'm sorry for letting him ruin our tea, Ibiki-san," Amemai said contritely, sincerity written large on her still rather agitated features. "I know your work makes social opportunities rather few and far between."

The scarred journin chuckled. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything, Amemai-san. We can have tea another day, but seeing Danzo caught in a web of his own making was the show of a lifetime."

The pregnant woman blushed, embarrassed. "There is nothing admirable in losing one's temper, Ibiki-san. I fear my outburst has caused a terrible mess that will take both your department and the ANBU months to untangle."

Ibiki grinned. "It's been slow lately. Can I borrow your three ghosts for my investigation?"

Amema looked thoughtful. "You can have three, but I cannot guarantee it will be the same three each time. Yuurei have a collective identity while in uniform."

"What an interesting concept," Rat murmured.

"Quite," Ibiki agreed. "Any three is fine, Amemai-san, so long as they know who everyone is and where they all are. I or Anko will likely come round later and ask for interviews with the rest of your ghosts."

Amemai bowed shallowly. "I quite understand, Ibiki-san. Please give Anko-chan my regards."

"Sayonara, Amemai-san." Ibiki left, whistling. Izumo escaped in his wake and hurried back towards the west gate.

_Kotetsu is never going to believe this!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: The smily face on the yuurei masks looks exactly like Ichimaru Gin from bleach; not a comfortable smile to be confronted with. This whole chapter is an example of what happens when you let a character with pregnancy hormones become involved with the plot. Now I, in my capacity as author, will have to pick up the pieces. Bah.


	30. Kakashi: Inquiry

**Kakashi: Disclosure**

Kakashi woke up on a futon with Naruto sitting level with his knee, writing in a notebook with the tip of his tongue gripped between his teeth. _What the... oh, chakra exhaustion. I remember now. And what feels like water in my lungs as well._

"Welcome back, Sensei," the blond boy said quietly, waving his calligraphy brush at the journin, "you didn't miss much. This is the old drunk's house. He lives here with his very pretty daughter Tsunami-san and her son, who is a miserable brat. Kinda reminds me of how Konohamaru used to be before I beat some sense into him but moodier. Sasuke is supervising my clones which are setting up a seal perimeter and Sakura is helping Tsunami-san with dinner."

Kakashi processed this, sparing a moment's thought to what the ever-arrogant village council would say if they learned that the so-called dead last was a competent team leader who the last Uchiha deferred to. _Oh, the shrieks of outrage and roars of protest, civilian music to my ninja ears. Which reminds me, he said 'seal perimeter'._

"Fuuinjutsu, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shuffled slightly. "Ame-kaa-san found me some Uzumaki sealing books. I'm good with perimeter seals -they aren't that hard- and I use 'em on my place in Konoha," he explained. "It keeps people from trashing my apartment because the key seal is set to stop people with less chakra in their coils than me getting through. That keeps everyone except me, the hokage and a few ANBU out."

Kakashi's only visible eye widened. "You have that much chakra?" _I knew he was a jinchuuriki -to the Kyuubi no less- but knowing and understanding are two different things altogether. _

"Yeah. Kaa-san says my reserves are growing constantly. Anyway, the perimeter seals Sasuke is helping my clones with will keep out -and in- anyone capable of moulding chakra, so we shouldn't be interrupted by ninja after they are up. Bandits and mercenaries maybe, but they aren't as much of an issue."

How far out are you setting the perimeter?"

"Half a mile; I'm anchoring it with some of the kunai I took off the Demon Brothers."

"How long have you been studying fuuinjutsu Naruto-kun?"

The blond shifted. "Six months? About that. Basic perimeter seals are fairly easy to set up; they are mostly time-consuming. Mine are still fairly crude: I can't programme them to specific chakra signatures yet or tweak them to respond to intent. They only respond to chakra coil capacity and chakra movement. A ninja like Rock Lee who can't mould chakra could walk right through without so much as a twinge -which is a major flaw- but I've barely started book three of the Uzumaki seals. The standard Konoha fuuinjutsu manual is difficult to work with because it just provides the basic seals and how to draw them, not _how_ they function and why."

"I never figured you for a seal enthusiast, Naruto."

Naruto grinned. "Seals are cool. You can do anything at all with them." His face fell a little. "Sakura called me a freak. She said I was as obsessive over boring seals as Chouji is over food."

Kakashi couldn't help but snigger at the mental picture that conjured. "Maa, don't let her get to you Naruto-kun. It takes a special kind of mind to truly master fuuinjutsu. I won't make you stop so long as you let Ame supervise any experiments and let me oversee anything likely to be explosive."

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei! Arigatou!"

"Which reminds me; Naruto, which ninja arts were you taught at the Mitsusha?" the copy-nin asked, having finally gotten around to vocalizing the question that had been bouncing around inside his head for the past month.

"Other than taijutsu, Sensei?"

"Aa."

"Ano... well first there was _chi-mon_, or geography, geology, botany, entomology and zoology of the elemental nations. Landscape, terrain, plant life, insects and animals both common and rare and their habitats and uses. Second is _hensoujutsu_ which is disguise, infiltration and impersonation without the use of chakra in any form. Simple yet surprisingly effective and very hard to get right. I spent quite a while with kabuki actors that year. Third is _shinobi-iri_, the five methodologies of silent movement for infiltration which are also the basis of the Muon Satsujin -silent homicide- that Zabuza uses. Fourth _nawajutsu_, the art of capturing and restraining opponents with ropes as well as how to properly secure captives for interrogation or execution. Fifth _kyuujustu_, how to wield and fire a bow. That was barely touched on though; I _can_ use a bow, but not very quickly or very accurately. Sixth _sui-ren_, water training: how to move unobtrusively though water, take advantage of water on the battlefield and change the direction of rivers or break dams." Naruto paused, as if he hadn't just listed more than double the subjects taught at the academy. "Seventh, _kayakujutsu _which is chemical explosives. I'm _good_ at those. Eighth and last is _tenmon_, forecasting the weather and using it against your opponents, which I am not good at. Not enough practice, I guess."

Kakashi's jaw dropped. His education hadn't been that thorough at twelve and he'd been groomed to be a ninja from the moment he could walk. At Naruto's age he'd been a chunnin for a few years and well on his way to a promotion to journin, which had come not long after he turned thirteen. In fact, he still didn't know know kyuujutsu or kayakujutsu and his nawajutsu was extremely limited.

"The geisha taught you all of that?"

"Hai, alongside the softer subjects. Himitsu-okaa-san says that no knowledge is ever wasted and that a ninja must always be willing to learn, no matter how difficult the lesson or how humble the teacher." Naruto pouted briefly. "She says I'm still too young to be learning shibari, though."

Kakashi choked. "I should think you are," he managed to wheeze. "What were the 'softer subjects' you mentioned, Naruto-kun?"

The blond tapped the handle of his calligraphy brush against his jaw. "All sorts. I know all the minarai stuff like gambling games, formal dress and speech -male and female- and the meanings of colours, flowers and motifs and their respective seasons. I can cut and style hair, make my own clothing, grow plants and prepare various herbal salves and cosmetics, sketch recognisably, and so on. I am very good at reading body language, know how to perform acupuncture and give any kind of body massage. Given those last two skills, it follows that I have a concise understanding of anatomy.

I am aware of classical poetical forms and various authors thereof, literature, politics and enough economics to make polite conversation. I also know enough about stimulants and depressants -legal or otherwise- to kill with if I so choose. Other odds and ends include calligraphy, basic woodworking skills, animal care, cooking, first aid and codes. Oh and I can dance and sing, too."

Kakashi _stared_ at his most unpredictable genin. "You are probably the best educated ninja in the history of Konoha," the silver haired journin eventually managed to say. "I don't know most of that and I'm twice your age and was a chunnin at eleven."

Naruto blushed slightly. "I'd teach the others but I really don't want to find out how Sakura would react to my knowing more 'girly stuff' than she does," he admitted. "Chi-mon and sui-ren would help them both generally and make them more aware of their surroundings, which would in turn improve the quality of their genjutsu. I'd like the opportunity to do more with kayakujutsu but I'm sure you would rather I not experiment with explosives, Sensei."

"Definitely no playing with explosives," Kakashi said firmly. "It seems it would be quicker for me to ask what you _don't_ know."

"Weapons of any kind other than kunai, shuriken and my sword, kugutsu -puppetry- and anything else involving chakra rather than skill and intelligence," Naruto said promptly. "Not to mention that of the chakra arts I have no talent for either ijutsu or genjutsu."

Kakashi sighed. _He is right; his education, while far-reaching, is sadly lacking in the chakra arts. At least I am a ninjutsu specialist; the field he needs my help in is the one I am most proficient in._ "Naruto, all you really lack is experience. You will easily be on par with most journin in a few years provided you get a variety of missions under your belt and learn a few dozen ninjutsu to even up your education."

Naruto smiled shyly. "I want to be hokage. I have to be the best to achieve that goal."

"You'll get there. Just take your time. Now, what time is it?"

"Nearly dinner. You keeled over as soon as we lifted you off the ground but you only slept for four hours or so."

"Right. Tomorrow I'll teach you all a new chakra control exercise. It will take you and Sasuke longer than Sakura since her reserves are smaller than yours. I want you to make a shadow clone to start teaching her rope techniques in the time between her finishing and you finishing."

"Hai, Sensei. What about chi-mon and sui-ren?"

"I'll start them on both once we get back to Konoha. Probably by assigning reading homework." the journin paused. "I can teach tenmon in the day-to-day, between other things. You really wasted your time at the academy, didn't you Naruto?"

The whisker-marked blond grinned evilly. "I treated it as an infiltration assignment after my first week, Sensei. How inaccurate was my profile?"

Kakashi glared. "Brat. The only accurate bit was your love of pranks and decent taijutsu."

Naruto shrugged, unrepentant. "If you show people what they want to see they will take it as truth. They wanted me to be an incompetent moron so when I acted like I was one they accepted it as fact."

Blinded by their own prejudice," the copy-nin mused, "how ironic. You are more qualified to teach than most chunnin are."

Naruto shook his head firmly. "Iie. What I have learned is all thanks to my teachers. If Himitsu-okaa-san had taught at the academy there would have been more than three half-decent kunoichi graduating this year. She would have killed the fangirl movement dead in the first week of lessons."

"I'll mention having geisha teach non-chakra-related studies at the Academy to the Sandaime," Kakashi said, amused. "It's a sad day for the village when its geisha are more educated in the ninja arts than the shinobi."

"Takemaru-nii would be a good ninja. He's incredibly brilliant at passing unnoticed. Didn't the first ninja work entirely without chakra?" Naruto asked as his eyes abruptly unfocused.

"The perimeter's finished, Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke should be back in five minutes or so," he added a little more loudly than necessary.

"Good," Sakura replied from the other side of the rice paper screen door, "because dinner is ready now."

* * *

**Notes**

Six of the skills Naruto has learned are part of the _Ninja Jūhakkei,_ the eighteen shinobi disciplines, specifically those not involving weapons. The other non-combat orientated diciplines are _Bajutsu _or horsemanship, _Bouryaku_ or tactics, _Chouhou_ which is espionage and_ Intonjutsu_ or ecape and concealment_. _Taijutsu is also one of the eighteen, as are shurikenjutsu (techniques involving thrown weapons such as kunai shuriken and senbon) and kenjutsu. Chakra skills could come under the heading of one of the other disciplines, the rather generic _Seishinteki kyoukou_ which means spiritual refinement.

Naruto could therefore be considered the recipient of a truely traditional shinobi education, as the only weapons skills he lacks of the eighteen are _Boujutsu_ -staff techniques- _Soujutsu_ -spear techniques- _Naginatajutsu_ -naginata techniques (which Benihime actually _does_ know)- and _Kusarigamajutsu_, use of kusarigama. Considering that his basic archery could be considered to make up for one of these and his tessen skills as Benihime for another, Naruto is capable of thirteen out of eighteen skills considered neccessary to a well-rounded shinobi, fourteen if you consider fuuinjutsu which is an entirely seperate discipline to the other chakra related jutsu types as control and handseals are not required.

As Naruto is unlikely to need horsemanship, to be considered a 'graduate' of Himitsu-san's education programme he only needs to learn tactics, espionage, escape and concealment plus one other. This may be taken from the _Bugei Juhappan_, the eighteen samurai skills as these include extra disciplines useful to shinobi.

A/N: And the frankly ridiculous extent of Naruto's education is revealed. I always felt that the academy in the series was vastly inadequate in training the students. History is pointless for ninja unless as part of tactics or espionage training, for example.


	31. Kakashi: Consideration

**Kakashi: Consideration**

The next morning Kakashi -leaning on crutches- herded his team to a clearing just inside the seal perimeter. The exercise he was going to teach them was the first and most important chakra control exercise all genin had to learn. That it doubled as a good way to travel and infiltrate was part of what made it so essential.

"Today, my cute little genin, you are going to learn Kinbori no Waza," Kakashi said cheerfully.

"Art of tree climbing? Sensei, I could climb trees when I was nine," Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes. "Where's the catch?"

The copy-nin beamed, eye curving up into a happy arch. Sasuke was recovering admirably from his first kill and had internalised the need to look underneath the underneath. _Of course, he hasn't had enough practice yet to actually _see_ what is underneath the underneath, but he'll get there._

_Oh, and he's chattier than he used to be, which is another plus. May the kami preserve us from overly stoic Uchiha._

"I'm going to show you how to climb trees without using your hands," Kakashi explained brightly.

"That's impossible, Sensei!" Sakura protested.

Naruto frowned thoughtfully. "Is this related to why all the ninja in Konoha above genin level do all of their high speed travel over the rooftops? I always wondered how that was possible."

"Well observed, Naruto! It is indeed," Kakashi confirmed, concentrating a precise and fairly small amount of chakra to the undersides of his sandals and walking calmly up the nearest tree trunk. He paused on the underside of a branch to address his awed genin. "This is a very important chakra control exercise because the soles of the feet are one of the hardest places to focus chakra. Once you can do this you will waste less chakra when performing ninjutsu and will find genjutsu much easier. Now Naruto, did you send clones to keep an eye on Tazuna at the bridge this morning?"

"Hai, Sensei. This particular perimeter is permeable to the caster," Naruto confirmed. "I also made you a key so you could travel through at will," He added, handing over a seal tag once the copy-nin had descended from the tree. "Stick it to your skin somewhere out of sight so no-one tries to steal it. It will work for any ninja."

"Good work. Now get on with learning, the lot of you! Oh and Sakura, come here for a minute."

The kunoichi turned from the tree she'd been about to try walking up. "Hai, Sensei?"

"When you have finished this exercise -when you can walk all the way to the top of the tree and back down again- Naruto is going to teach you something. Treat him with the respect and deference you would any other teacher." Kakashi knew he shouldn't need to say this, but sadly few civilians respected Naruto for his achievements and Sakura clearly reflected the views of her civilian parents. _His graduating sane and capable from the academy was an achievement in itself._

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei," the pink-haired girl muttered, clearly chastised by the fact her teacher felt he had to ask in order for her behave properly.

"Good. Now remember all of you, the exercise is complete when you can walk to the top of the tree and back down again. I recommend using a kunai to keep track of your progress!"

Kakashi hobbled off through the seal perimeter toward the unfinished bridge, the thumps and swearing of genin learning how to tree climb gradually fading away behind him. He was exhausted and still had traces of water in his lungs -_brackish, slightly muddy water at that_- but the bridge builder still needed protection and Zabuza was unlikely to kill him no matter how tired he was.

At the bridge Kakashi delegated everything short of an emergency to the Naruto clones and dozed under a tree while most of the bunshin set up a perimeter and the clone-in chief shadowed Tazuna in a very thorough Sasuke-henge. Nothing noteworthy occurred at all during that first day, allowing the journin to rest and recover his severely depleted reserves. It also gave him plenty of time to think.

_The water prison sapped my reserves and using the sharingan made the drain worse. I nearly passed out, which could have been fatal._

_I was careless. I haven't been training as hard as I could be since Ame-koi came to Konoha. I have to get back in the habit; giving my genin theory homework will give me more training time, as will delegating command to Naruto or Sasuke when they do D-rank missions. Koi will understand -her own time will be swallowed by the babies soon enough- and I'm sure I can dig up a few former colleagues to spar with._

_I wonder where Zabuza knows my Ame-koi from? And what is it about her that causes her to accumulate over-protective nukenin?_

Kakashi tried to put his current problems to one side, but that only prompted older, yet to be addressed concerns to surface, like what Danzo wanted from his beloved. The old cripple ran Konoha's blacker-than-black operations division -ROOT- that had officially been shut down at the end of the third shinobi war. That it still existed was a problem, but the implications of Ame referring to its members as 'toy soldiers' in need of rehabilitation was what caused him the greatest concern. Danzo had always been a staunch advocate of brainwashing ninja. That he seemed to have a whole division of obedient little killing machines at his beck and call and Ame in his sights sent a shiver down Kakashi's spine. _Do I pray for my koi to be successful in her endeavours or that Danzo be wise enough not to lose any more of his minions to her? Ame with a division of ROOT-nins at her beck and call sounds like a recipe for disaster, what with her pregnancy mood swings getting more severe._

_I will just have to trust her gift of foresight keeps her out of trouble and that she limits herself to using her healing skills to rehabilitate them rather than employing them to carry out some scheme or other. I know she has some kind of agenda -other than serving Shinigami-sama as a miko- but all she will tell me is that she is following my dream, which is unhelpful. I wish I knew more about her kekkai genkai than the basics she informed me of._

Kakashi had had several vary interesting conversations with Ame about her heritage. It turned out she had three different kekkai genkai, one from each parent plus her kami-given Sanju Shikaku, which had been dormant in both her parents' families for generations.

Ame had reassured him that their children were far more likely to inherit one of her other bloodlines than the Triple Vision, either the Seishite from her mother or the Kotai no Maroboshi from her father. Either would complement the Hatake kekkai genkai -the white chakra that had prompted his father's nickname of 'Shiroi Kiba'- very nicely.

Hatake white chakra was much denser than normal chakra, allowing Hatake's to use powerful ninjutsu techniques without tiring as quickly as other ninja. It was his white chakra that enabled Kakashi to use his sharingan for as long as he did. Hatakes also had more tenkutsu than normal ninjas, allowing for more precise control of their dense chakra so that those with the bloodline did not have chakra control problems like Naruto did, which would limit their potential in genjutsu or ijutsu.

The Seishite, the hands of life and death, was a bloodline that -like the various elemental kekkai genkai- enabled chakra to easily be transmuted into another form. In the case of the Seishite, the final result was green medical chakra. A great many extra tenkutsu also granted those with the bloodline natural pinpoint chakra control. This natural affinity for medical techniques allowed both for self-healing and and the treatment of others. However it also enabled the wielder the option of making their chakra horribly toxic, killing anyone who came into contact with it, and many other less scrupulous opportunities. Those born with the bloodline tended to be compassionate to allies and ruthless with enemies, specialising either as assassins or medics depending on personal aptitude. Kakashi thought it was a very useful bloodline, one that would guarantee employment regardless of physical strength.

The Kotai no Maroboshi was completely different, a kekkai genkai that somehow twisted reality so that genjutsu cast by someone with the bloodline would physically affect both the victim and their environment, impossible to dispel and lasting as long as the caster required them to. For all that this reminded Kakashi rather uncomfortably of Gai's sunset genjutsu, the journin could see what a powerful bloodline it really was. Someone with this bloodline was limited only by their chakra capacity and their imagination. Unfortunately, a bloodline that granted almost godlike power was not at all good for the human mind; overusing the Solid Illusion kekkai genkai always resulted in insanity for the wielder. Ame herself used it as little as possible, saying her sanity was precarious enough without tempting fate.

It also turned out that her parents had been infamous due to their particular bloodlines; Kakashi had not needed to find out that Ame's father was the dreaded Akumugami, the God of Nightmares, S-class shinobi of Kage no kuni.

That Ame had originally been born in Kuraigakure, the village hidden in the twilight, was not as surprising as it could have been.

Shadow country lay to the west of Earth and Wind country and was a large and mysterious nation whose boarders were always closed to foreign shinobi. The Akumugami was infamous for his part in the second shinobi war, when -as a new journin of barely sixteen- he had singlehandedly held fifty miles of boarder against the samurai armies of Tsuchi no kuni and two dozen squads of ninja. Horror stories of the nightmarish monsters he commanded had filtered through even to Konoha from prisoners of war and the occasional defector from Iwa trying to get as far away as possible from Shadow and its seemingly invincible ninja.

That Ame's mother had been an S-class assassin under the charming moniker of Muonshi -silent death- for her bloodline mastery, stealth and tactical brilliance was also less surprising than it could have been. His koibito was a truly exceptional person; that her parents were also exceptional only confirmed it. Of course, that a pair of S-class shinobi had been forced to give up their daughter in order to save her life told Kakashi how powerful the Yamikage had to be. In fact, all things considered, the copy-nin was surprised that her exile had been so... quiet.

_Perhaps they don't care where she is or what she does so long as she stays out of Kage no kuni. Considering how fanatically isolationist they are, it wouldn't surprise me._

Both her parents would be in their forties by now if they were still among the living, which being S-class was more likely than not. Kakashi wondered idly if they intended to come to the wedding of the daughter they hadn't seen since early childhood. _I rather doubt that any of the bride's family are below A-class in strength. In fact, most of those who consider her family seem to be S-class. Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu and her parents, not to mention her elusive foster father, the one she calls 'aniki-tou-san'._

Kakashi knew he was an A-class journin, bordering on S-class even, but by the standards of her family and friends he wasn't anything special. Being the last survivor of a bloodline clan wasn't that much of a boost either when his fiancée had _three_ bloodlines. Ame had told him that her parents' marriage had been an arranged alliance, a second son and a third daughter promised to each-other for diplomatic and economic reasons. They had found love together and, despite losing their firstborn to the whims of fate -and the sanju shikaku kekkai genkai- they had persevered. Ame had told Kakashi that she had two younger siblings she had never met, a boy and a girl, the former with the seishite and the latter with the kotai no maroboshi. Ame also explained that being yogensha was what enabled her to express both her parents' bloodlines simultaneously; without the genetic peculiarities her seer abilities entailed one kekkai genkai would have dominated the other.

As the sun dipped towards the horizon Kakashi rose to his feet and hobbled back to the house with Tazuna and the four remaining Naruto clones in tow. The journin prayed the next few days would be as restful as the one that was just ending.

As Kakashi had expected, the tree-climbing exercise had taken Sakura mere minutes to master. She had spent most of the day learning to tie various knots and how to handle rope. She seemed inordinately proud of her achievement, prompting Kakashi to deflate her ego by informing her that such high control reflected poorly on the size of her chakra reserves. He also ordered her to continue practising until sticking to vertical surfaces was reflexive, adding that extended practice would actually cause her reserves to increase.

Sasuke had managed to get to the top of his tree after grudgingly banding together with Naruto to ask Sakura for tips. Kakashi told him he had to be able to walk _down_ the tree as well as up it as well as practice until sticking was instinctive. "Practice walking up and down different trees and jumping from one to another," he instructed the last Uchiha. "When you've mastered that practice your ninjutsu again and see how much less chakra they need with your increased control. Then work on augmenting your bones and muscles with chakra to increase your speed and strength."

"Hai, Sensei."

Naruto, unlike his team-mates, had done badly. At a run he could get two thirds of the way up his chosen tree, but at a walk he blasted off before he reached the halfway mark.

"My chakra is to closely bound to my emotions, sensei," the blond grumbled. "I get frustrated with my lack of progress, which unsettles my chakra and makes me unstick. So I have to sit down and meditate for a bit. Then I get a good way up, get excited and fly off again when my chakra spikes."

"Did you try using shadow clones?"

"Iie. I sent thirteen with you and didn't want to risk overload. The scroll mentioned that more than ten performing different tasks was risky. Specifically, 'the more varied the tasks carried out, the more likely the caster is to suffer from mental overload once the technique is dispelled'."

"Okay, change of plans, then: tomorrow Sakura comes with me to the bridge with two Naruto clones; she can practice walking along the sides and underside of the bridge. Naruto, you get at least a dozen clones to practice tree climbing with you; the smaller reserves will make learning easier. Sasuke, no change for you."

"Hai, Sensei," the three genin chorused.

"Why do you even bother? You're all going to die anyway," Inari, Tsunami's son, said gloomily.

"Nope, not happening;" Naruto countered cheerily, "we're going to keep Tazuna-san safe, get the bridge finished and defeat Gatou so all of Nami no kuni can be freed from oppression."

"That's a lie! No-one can defeat Gatou! Hero's don't exist and you're just going to lose!"

"Shut it, kid," Naruto said a little more sharply. "While you may be getting along just fine as the protagonist of your very own tragedy, the rest of us would rather make a difference and do the right thing."

"You shut up! What do you know about suffering? I bet you've never lost anyone or gone short in your life!" the little boy shouted.

Naruto's reaction to these thoughtless words was volcanic. The KI spike drove his team-mates to their knees gasping for breath and made even Kakashi dizzy. Tsunami fainted dead away, Tazuna went chalk white and wheezed in his seat and Inari -the target of Naruto's ire- froze in absolute terror, unable to so much as draw breath.

Naruto's orange, slit-pupilled eyes bore into the petrified child. "You," the blond said softly with such careful deliberation that it chilled Kakashi to the bone, "are a spoilt, ignorant babe. You know nothing of pain; you are surrounded by living family who love you. You have a roof over your head and clothes on your back. Food is provided for you at every meal. Yet you throw all of this privileges aside and insist you have nothing. _You disgust __me._" The jinchuuriki now had claws and his fangs were poking out over his lips.

"Naruto..." Kakashi said warningly, hoping his student would not make a scene.

"I'm going out to practice, Sensei; don't wait up," The feral blond spat through gritted teeth before stomping out of the house, the oppressive cloud of KI following him.

Tazuna gasped as the pressure lifted, Inari burst into hysterical tears and bolted out of the room -Kakashi caught the distinct scent of urine as the boy passed him- and Sasuke and Sakura sat up properly, relaxing only after Kakashi gave them both a reassuring eyesmile.

"What _was_ that?" the bridge builder asked.

"Naruto is not well loved in our village through no fault of his own," the copy-nin said shortly. He was tired, in pain and wanted to sleep, not deal with the aftermath of his most complicated student terrorizing the client's family. "As a result he has suffered more than any person should at the hands of people who should know better than to take out their frustrations on a child. Even those responsible for teaching him hated him. What he has he has earned many times over and fought tooth and nail for."

"I apologise for my grandson then; he took the loss of my son-in-law at the hands of Gatou's thugs very badly," Tazuna said quietly as Sakura roused Tsunami.

"And I apologise for my genin. He needs to keep a stronger leash on his temper," Kakashi responded, not meaning a single word of it. The journin was inordinately proud of the self control Naruto had shown: Not so much as a whisper of the Kyuubi's chakra had been leaked.

* * *

A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have backstory. Updates are going to be a little less frequent now because I'm looking for work. Not being a student any more means a lot less free time for writing in, sadly. On a brighter note, is there anyone in particular my readers would like to see Naruto meet in my Odds, Ends and Fragments colletion now I've done Sai? Specifically outside Konoha as I'm working to the Manga timeline for the main plot, so team seven will not be going to snow country or anywhere like that.


	32. Naruto: Contact

**Naruto: Contact**

Naruto opened his eyes and stared up through the leafy canopy at the dawn sky. After his outburst the previous evening he had marched back to the clearing team seven had been practicing in, made two dozen shadow clones and thrown himself into tree climbing. It had been train himself to exhaustion or beat the client's grandson to a bloody pulp and although the brat deserved a beating Tazuna and Kakashi-sensei would probably have disapproved. So Naruto had walked up and down trees well into the night, forcing himself to use smaller and smaller amounts of chakra. He had eventually keeled over after making a successful return trip up and down his chosen tree and dispelling his last surviving kage bunshin.

_But what woke me up?_ Naruto extended his chakra sense, feeling around for what his highly tuned physical senses had perceived as a possible threat. _There's the seal barrier a few yards to my right. Trees, trees, miscellaneous birds, more trees... and one ninja. Hm. Not No-brows, but male and has journin level reserves. Chakra is calm, very still and... cold? Is that some kind of bloodline, like how the tiger-masked ANBU feels like deep forest and Inoichi-san like whispers?_

Naruto sat up under his tree as the unidentified ninja wandered out from the treeline and stopped dead, having bumped into the blond genin's seal perimeter.

"Ohayo, ninja-san," Naruto said cheerfully, taking in the newcomer's appearance, "are you a friend of Momochi-san? Or are you in the area independently?"

If Naruto hadn't been able to sense that the ninja's chakra had a distinctly male flavour he would have mistaken his new friend for a kunoichi. He had a pretty heart-shaped face, large and limpid brown eyes, a delicate nose, rosy lips and long, lustrous black hair that brushed his shoulderblades. He was wearing a pale pink woman's kimono –which compounded the illusion of femininity- and had a basket hanging from his left elbow. All in all, the shinobi looked exactly like an innocent civilian maiden out gathering herbs.

Any other ninja would have found the cross-dressing shinobi disconcertingly over-female but Naruto just felt that the other boy carried the look off rather well. _I have to use henge to look properly girly, but this guy can do it naturally with a quick wardrobe change!_

The shinobi stiffened at Naruto's friendly inquiry, a senbon materialising in his right hand like a magician's conjuring trick.

"Hey, no need for that! I was just asking!" Naruto protested, holding up his hands. "I was just curious, since he promised to meet up with me again. Because of my kaa-san being who she is, you see."

The pink-clad shinobi paused. "You are Yogensha-sama's child? Zabuza-sama did mention you. He said you were a sword user." The cross-dresser's gentle brown eyes took in Naruto's rather scruffy and distinctly swordless appearance.

The blond rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, the client's grandson kinda pissed me off, so rather than beat him up and get in trouble with my sensei I came out here to practice my chakra control. Which is total shite, as you've probably gathered by the state of the trees."

His new friend giggled. "I'm sure you're not really that bad."

"Oh I really am," Naruto assured him. "Now what brings you out here this early in the morning?"

The other shinobi's face darkened. "Gato-san was most displeased when he learned that Zabuza-sama did not kill the bridge builder the day before yesterday and tried to terminate my master during the night. Of course we killed the scum who threatened us, but Zabuza-sama's Kubikiri Hocho is not suited to being wielded in enclosed spaces, so he was injured. I came here seeking healing herbs, but you have somehow blocked me from accessing them."

"It's a seal perimeter to keep ninja out, but never mind that; I'm gonna ask Sensei if we can kill this Gatou bastard! Trying to kill No-Brows like that! I'll help you with the herbs. What do you need? And what're you called, anyway? I can't just keep thinking of you as the pretty boy in the pink kimono."

The ninja in pink blinked in the face of this veritable flood of information. "My name is Haku; your help would be greatly appreciated. How did you know I was male? Most people assume I'm a girl when I dress like this. Or any other way, for that matter," he added, a note of irritation tingeing his voice.

"I'm not all that bad at chakra sensing and you have male chakra. Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Haku! Do you have a bloodline? Your chakra feels cold in a kekkai genkai kind of way you see and I was curious."

"I was not aware that it was possible to sense bloodlines," Haku said neutrally. "These are samples of the herbs I am looking for."

"oh, Bloodlines feel mostly the same as elemental affinities; the difference is very subtle. A person needs to have been around a lot of people with bloodlines and non-bloodline individuals with strong elemental affinities to be able to notice the differences and become attuned. There are a _lot_ of bloodline clans in Konoha, so I've had practice. Did you know that Yamanakas feel like whispers? It's a little creepy. I find myself trying to catch what's being said." Naruto paused his rambling monologue as he focused on the ground cover.

"Is this the herb you were looking for?"

"Aa. Is there any more?"

"Plenty," Naruto reassured him. "Oh, where are my manners? I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Haku-kun!"

"Konnichiwa, Naruto-kun. Arigatou. Is there any more of the other herb, the flowering one?"

"I'll look. You are very pretty and feminine, by the way. I don't think I've ever seen a boy as delicate as you before."

Haku pinked in embarrassment at this rather blatant flattery. "You are a sweet child, Naruto-kun. Most people tell me I am too pretty to be a proper boy."

"Aw, they're just jealous. Especially if they were women: you're way better looking than the kunoichi in my age group." Naruto paused thoughtfully, then offered: "If you want to look masculine you should cut your hair short and wear form-fitting clothing like the ANBU do. Or copy No-Brows and don't bother with a shirt at all. Nobody would mistake you for a girl if you did _that_."

Haku chuckled. "I suppose not. Why do you call Zabuza-sama 'No-Brows'?"

"He has no eyebrows; duh. I give most of the adults I kind of like some nickname or other. Sensei is Sensei, of course, Sarutobi-sama is ojii-san or jiji 'cause he's really old, then there're Scar-face and 'Crazy Snake Lady' from T&I and the geisha onee-sans. The only person my age with a nickname is the Teme, 'cause he _is_ a teme. The only person I haven't given a nickname to is Himitsu-okaa-san because she is far too scary and proper. " He shivered. "I don't want to die, so I haven't even _thought_ a nickname for her."

"You feel some kinship with Zabuza-sama?"

"Yeah. He's part of kaa-san's family, isn't he? Plus he pounded Sensei for getting kaa-san pregnant and running off for four months. Never mind that he's doing right by her now, he deserved to get beaten into the ground for that. Oh, and he's offered to teach me some Muon Satsujin, which puts him above most adults I know."

"I'll tell him you said that," Haku said, amused.

"You know, If Sensei agrees you could come stay with us at Tazuna-san's house," Naruto commented idly. "I could reset the seal perimeter to keep non-ninja out so Gatou and his goons can't get in while No-Brows and Sensei are recovering. You could even help us genin keep watch at the bridge if you wanted. Your chakra feels almost journin level."

"Ano, I pretend to be a hunter-nin from Mist a lot of the time," Haku admitted. "It prevents all kinds of problems. Oh, I think those herbs by that tree over there are the last ones I need."

"These? Coming up!" Naruto cheered. "Where are you really from, then? Are you based somewhere or just nomadic?"

"Yogensha-sama set up a small hidden village on one of the more obscure islands of Mizu no kuni archipelago six years ago", Haku explained, "called Shougakure no sato. It is a haven for those who escaped the Kiri kekkai genkai purges or otherwise angered the Yondaime Mizukage. We accept missions in order to earn money for the Resistance and to buy whatever the village cannot produce independently. Mainly iron and steel, to be honest."

"Ano, were the Demon Brothers from Shougakure?"

"Iie, they were not; Gatou hired them independently. Why?"

Naruto sighed in relief. "I and my team-mate killed them."

"Ah. Gatou believes they deserted after being defeated." Haku chuckled. "Killed by a pair of genin; how embarrassing for the infamous Demon Brothers. Arigatou for your generosity, Naruto-kun. These herbs are perfect."

"You're welcome, Haku."

"Please do ask Hatake-san if it would be possible to negotiate a truce; I'd feel better if Zabuza-sama and I had reinforcements until he heals."

"I will ask. See you later!" Naruto waved goodbye to his new friend before straightening his clothingand haring off back to the bridge builder's house. _Oh, won't Sensei stare when I tell him about this!_

_

* * *

_

Kakashi-sensei did indeed stare when Naruto bounced into Tazuna's house and recounted his early morning adventure. So did Sasuke, Sakura, Tsunami and Tazuna.

"Shougakure? The village hidden in the reefs? I've heard of it vaguely," Tazuna admitted, "but I thought it was just a tall tale. The idea of a ninja village built on an invisible island as a sanctuary for the persecuted is rather far-fetched, after all."

"Wait-wait-wait; Shougakure is invisible? That is _soooo_ cool!" Naruto exclaimed. "Haku didn't mention that his village was invisible!"

"Actually, Tazuna-san, an invisible island is perfectly plausable if the ninja involved are skilled enough," Kakashi-sensei drawled. "But more to the point: would you be willing to let Momochi Zabuza and this Haku into your home?"

Tsunami looked hesitant but Tazuna nodded. "You say that Gatou tried to cheat and kill them; I can't afford to be picky in finding help and if they are willing to put animosity aside I will do likewise. My enemies' enemies are possible allies after all."

"Oh, good," Naruto said cheerily "this way Haku can help Kakashi-sensei heal faster."

"Your new friend is a healer, Naruto-kun?" Sensei asked.

"I met him while he was looking for healing herbs; fairly obscure ones. I know one of them promotes chakra recovery, although unfortunately I have no idea how to prepare it or what the appropriate dosages are. You could be upright and mobile by the day after tomorrow if any of us actually knew basic healing, Sensei."

"I am aware of that, Naruto. That is another point in favour of admitting them." The journin seemed to be contemplating their options. "Oh why not. Go ahead and invite them in when you next see Haku, Naruto-kun. I have an idea of how I can persuade Zabuza that aiding us would benefit him. Until then, let's get moving. Sasuke, Naruto, you two continue your training within the perimeter. Sakura, Tazuna, let's get to the bridge shall we?"

The genin and the bridge builder got moving.

* * *

Naruto was much better at sticking to trees after his all-night training session but being able to walk up and down a tree-trunk did not make him proficient at jumping from one branch to another. Standing upside down like Kakashi-sensei had done was also currently beyond his capabilities. Sasuke was only slightly better than he was, though the black haired boy managed somehow to _stay_ ahead of him despite Naruto's usage of a dozen shadow clones to make his reserves more managable.

By noon both boys could jump from one tree to another and actually stick, so Naruto stopped for lunch, Sasuke joining him when the blond pointed out that without food and a breather the Uchiha was just wearing himself out to no good purpose. When they had both almost finished demolishing the bentos Tsunami had given them Naruto sensed Haku's chill presence approaching, accompanied by a larger chakra signature that felt like water and the whisper of sharp edges. The whisker-marked genin put aside his mostly-finished meal and rose to his feet.

"Teme? We've got company."

Sasuke quietly set his bento aside and pulled out a fistful of shuriken. "Who?"

"Haku plus one. I think it's Zabuza, but no guarantees." Naruto sniffed the breeze, "Smells like Haku and I can smell fresh and old blood, so it probably is them. It doesn't hurt to be cautious though."

"Hn." Sasuke vanished up a tree on the very edge of the seal perimeter; one flaw of the barrier was that weapons could pass through it since they weren't alive. This weakness could nonetheless be used to their advantage.

Zabuza's presence paused a dozen yards away -out of sight- and Haku approached the clearing alone. Naruto knew Haku could sense him too: as a result of being the Kyuubi jinchuuriki and having the bijuu's chakra constantly filtering into his reserves he had a very large and distinctive chakra signature. Not that the blond couldn't suppress it; he just preferred not to unless being actively stealthy. _There is a reason the ANBU can't catch me anymore and it isn't that I've stopped wearing orange while pranking._

Haku materialised out of the treeline, this time dressed in a yellow edged green kimono jacket and matching green kobakama, hair tied back in a bun and an oinin mask painted with a red swirl hanging loosely around his neck. The older boy relaxed a little on seeing Naruto.

"Uzumaki-san; I though it was you I could sense. What did Hatake-san say?"

Naruto grinned. "Sensei said yes! Just wait a moment while I take down the perimeter." He formed a dozen shadow clones which immediately scattered to where the various kunai anchoring the barrier were planted. Naruto then pulled out a wad of paper slips, made another five clones and set about creating a new set of seals for the 'civilians out, ninjas in' barrier he intended to create.

Sasuke, seeing all was well, dropped down from his tree, shuriken once more hidden on his person. "Hn?"

"Haku-san, this is my team-mate Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto said absently, head never rising from his work. Sasuke felt like black feathers with an edge of ozone and a hint of something dark and strange lurking at the very edge of his senses. _Probably sharingan related. The Hyuuga byakugan feels like a high-pitched whine that grates on my nerves, especially when activated. I _always_ know when a Hyuuga is watching me because of that faint hum it creates in the chakra._ "Sasuke, this is Haku, ninja of Shougakure." Zabuza was coming closer now.

"Seals as well, gaki?" The swordsman commented as he pushed through the underbrush. "You really are an Uzumaki." His torso and arms were swathed in bloodstained bandages but he still had his sword slung across his back as though it weighed nothing at all.

"Of course I'm an Uzumaki," Naruto agreed amiably, never raising his head from his work. Unlike ninjutsu, where there was a variable margin for error, fuuinjutsu had to be _perfect_. He silently thanked Hibana-nee for her autocratic insistence on teaching him calligraphy and badgering him into mastering it.

"How good are you at sealing, dobe?" Sasuke asked curiously

"Comparatively or absolutely?" Naruto asked. "In absolute terms I'm a novice: I can only do storage seals, explosive tags and basic perimeter matrices. I'm currently studying storage arrays, which are complicated to draw but useful to know, and researching elemental theory in the hope of applying some of it to tags. Comparatively though I'm in the top four seal users in Konoha. Fuuinjutsu is as obscure a field as puppetry and very few ninja can draw more than a basic exploding tag."

There was a long pause.

"You are a real genius, aren't you Uzumaki?" Sasuke said quietly. "Not even my brother understood fuuinjutsu. The last expert was the Yondaime."

The blond did look up at that surprising comment. "Genius? Kaa-san says I am intuitive and hard-working. I don't know about being a genius though. It makes sense but it isn't easy."

"Kid, you are definitely a fuuinjutsu prodigy, though that may just be an Uzsumaki thing," Zabuza said dryly. "The Uzumakis were infamous for starting their children on sealing while they were still young. People say it's part of why the clan was so feared: Anyone who just _understands_ fuuinjutsu has to have something wonky in their head."

"Is that a warning or an approval?" Naruto asked slyly, his brush dancing across the paper as he smirked ever so slightly. "There; finished."

"Us too, boss," One of the clones said, putting down his brush. Naruto was still experimenting with how he could modify shadow clones -the possibilities were endless- and had so far created 'grunt' clones: silent, obedient, efficient workers. They actually used less chakra despite being more resistant to damage, so Naruto used them for tedious and repetitive tasks. They were not as smart as he was though, so anything requiring even a modicum of imagination he used normal clones for.

"One of you disperse so the others know to take the perimeter down," Naruto ordered, "and the rest will deliver the new tags to the anchor holders and then disperse as well."

"Hai!" One of the five vanished in a puff of smoke as the other four bounded away, completed seals tucked into thigh holsters.

A few seconds later there was a ripple in the air as the barrier separating Haku and Zabuza from Naruto and Sasuke disintegrated. The feminine ninja helped his wounded master into the middle of the clearing as Naruto waited for the memories of all the delivery clones to arrive so he could order the perimeter to be reset. The blond was privately astounded that the former Kiri-nin could even walk considering his injuries and the monster sword strapped to his back.

"Okay, barrier going back up in five, four, three, two, one," Naruto counted down before creating and dispersing a new shadow clone as a signal to those drone clones on standby with the anchors. The air across the edge of the clearing shimmered briefly before returning to normal.

"You sure that worked, dobe?"

_It seems that Sasuke isn't going to stop calling me that any time soon, no matter how proficient a ninja I become._ "Positive. You can't sense it until you bump into it, which since you are capable of moulding chakra isn't going to happen. It's tuned to let through people with ninja-level chakra coil activity. Haku, you have unnaturally quiet chakra so you may have to agitate it a little in order to pass through."

"Arigatou for that information, Uzumaki-san."

"Ma, call me Naruto! I don't even know your last name to call you by it."

Zabuza chuckled. "Haku's a Yukimaki, gaki."

Naruto's eyes went wide and round. "Ooh! You're descended from the Tokokouri clan! No wonder your chakra's so cold!"

"Tokokouri, dobe?"

"The Tokokouri, clan of Eternal Ice, are a kekkai genkai clan from the far north of Snow country who are supposedly descended from ninja who bred with a group of yuki-onna. The Yukimaki clan are a relatively recent Mizu offshoot of the original family. I'm honestly surprised there are any left after the bloodline purges the Yondaime Mizukage ordered."

"Half-a-dozen others that I know of," Haku agreed sadly, "and only one of them is older that I."

"Let's get back to the house," Naruto said firmly. "No-Brows needs to rest. I can smell the blood from here."

"Who are you calling 'No-Brows', brat?"

"Who are you calling 'brat', No-Brows?"

"Hopeless," Sasuke sighed, leading Haku toward the bridge-builder's house, the bickering duo following in their wake.

* * *

Notes

Kubikiri Hocho = decapitating cleaver; name of Zabuza's sword.

Kobakama = short hakama that are more closely fitting and finish a little below the knee.

Oinin = hunter ninja.

Naruto can sense Hyuuga because their bloodline uses chakra echolocation to sense objects within their sphere of reach. the kekkai genkai is concentrated in the eye area and causes the chakra around them to vibrate at high frequency, which their enhanced senses pick up as a black-and-white image of their surroundings. Naruto, having bijuu-enhanced chakra senses, can hear this just fine.

A/N: At last a new chapter! My computer is fixed and although I am sick as a parrot I am making progress. I have done a new outtake of Naruto and Gaara, but since it is slightly spoilerish I'm saving it until later. Ja ne!


	33. Kakashi: Improvement

**Kakashi: Improvement**

Kakashi was grateful that Gatou's thugs were not trying to kill the bridge builder just yet. Attempting to kill Zabuza had probably put a significant dent in both their numbers and their pride, so today they were likely lying low and licking their wounds.

This was fortunate; Sakura may have improved her attitude dramatically over the past week -seeing her team-mates kill had probably sped the process along- but her skills were still fairly poor and he himself was not anywhere near healed. The journin had done his best to cough up the water in his lungs but breathing still burned. The lingering weakness of his slowly recovering chakra reserves did not help in the slightest.

_Sakura is far better than she was though. She actually practices now and her clothing is more practical than decorative. Shame about the hair, but at least she keeps it tied up in a bun now. That bright red cheongsam is still ridiculous for a genin, although the slits do go high enough for her to run properly._

Had Ame not gotten through to his kunoichi student Kakashi would probably resorted to the tried-and-tested method of beating the the need for rigorous training into her. He was still considering whether or not he should beat the need for teamwork into team seven as a whole. _I'll see how they do on this mission then decide._

The day was blessedly uneventful; quite delightfully dull. Sakura patrolled along the sides and underside of the bridge in the morning while Kakashi dozed under the watchful eye of a Naruto clone. In the afternoon Kakashi had hovered around Tazuna with his clone escort while another Naruto clone taught Sakura more Nawanuke. Sakura was less quick to learn this than the chakra exercises and genjutsu generally; she was clearly more of a theoretical learner than a practical one. She was nonetheless determined: the idea of Naruto knowing something she did not goaded her in persisting until she was tired and sweating.

Despite this peacefulness Kakashi was relieved when Tazuna decided to call it a day. The impossibility of getting to actually rest was severely slowing his recovery. _Couldn't Ame have warned me?_

_Well, she did say that all enemies would be within my team's ability to defeat, which the Demon Brothers were and Gatou's thugs will be, to be perfectly honest. Zabuza is well above their level but Ame would not consider him to be an enemy. More like a concerned older brother or cousin. _

_I'll remember this for next time: She only reassured me only that there would be no-one we would be unable to match, not how difficult or inconvenient matching them would be. Or how badly the mission was misclassified. I'll have to pay attention to what she _doesn't_ say next time._

_Life is so complicated._

"Hatake-san?"

The copy-nin blinked. "Hai, Tazuna-san?"

The bridge builder looked worried. "I've hit some kind of invisible wall, Hatake-san."

"Oh?" _Has Naruto changed the barrier around already?_ "Sakura, you try."

Sakura had no difficulty waling forwards, even after taking off the seal tag Naruto had given her that morning.

"Boss switched the barrier around at lunchtime," the lone surviving Naruto clone volunteered. "I'll disperse so he knows to sent Tazuna a key seal."

Ten minutes after the clone had dispersed another Naruto ran up to them from the direction of the house. "Gomen Sensei, Tazuna-san. I forgot you wouldn't be able to get in, the old drunk being a civilian and all. Here," the blond held out a seal tag, "wrap this around your arm or something."

The tag got the bridge builder through the barrier without a hitch.

"Oh, your tags aren't compatible with the new field, Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei, so you don't need to wear them any more; they're inert so don't worry about destroying them. Any ninja could pass through now but luckily for us Gatou doesn't have any more ninja on his payroll."

"Good to know," Kakashi acknowledged. "Where are our other guests?"

"Tsunami-san set up a bed for No-Brows in your room Sensei and Haku is tending to his injuries. Haku says 'Zabuza-sama'-" the blond rolled his eyes at the honorific "-will be mobile tomorrow and combat ready the day after. He's also agreed to examine you, Sensei, so don't dawdle."

"I do not _dawdle_, Naruto."

The Naruto grinned evilly. "Your timekeeping says otherwise!" it singsonged, bouncing cheerily.

"Brat," Kakashi retorted gently with an eyesmile. It was good to see Naruto -even just a clone of him- back to his usual ebullient self. The blond hadn't been this boisterous since he'd first caught the kid gardening with Ame-koi. While the immediate aftermath of Naruto's second kill had been over fairly quickly, Kakashi had noticed how severely the boy's spirit had been dampened by the experience. It was a relief to see that the loss of that spark of life had not been a permanent change.

The Naruto grinned at him -a real grin, not the forced squinty smile he used when he was teasing Sakura or hiding something- and bounced ahead towards the house that had just appeared through the trees. _Oh. That was the original, real Naruto._

_He's getting very good with that jutsu. Will he be Naruto 'the Horde' when he reaches journin and gets a bingo book nickname, I wonder?_

As Naruto had predicted, once back inside the house Kakashi was waylaid by someone who matched Naruto's ah, _vivid_ description of Haku.

_Discreetly high chakra reserves, check; About fourteen or fifteen years old, check; Prettiest boy ever, even lovelier than a Hyuuga -thankyou for that mental image Naruto, I'm going to be imagining Hiashi in a skirt for months- check._ Kakashi allowed himself to be bustled onto his futon and lay still while the other ninja performed a diagnostic jutsu.

"If you will allow me to heal you and rest until late tomorrow, Hatake-san, you will be combat ready by the morning after that," the young medic-nin pronounced finally.

"Are you Haku?"

The young nin blushed, looking even more feminine. "Gomen, Hatake-san; I am indeed Haku. I am most grateful to you for allowing Zabuza-sama and me to shelter here."

"Maa, I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't: Momochi-san is a member of my fiancée's extended family. And I would be most grateful for your care, Haku-kun," the copy-nin added.

Haku smiled sweetly -_if Naruto hadn't warned me I really would have believed he was a girl_- and set glowing green hands on the jounin's torso, channelling healing chakra into his abused lungs. "Lie still so I can work, Hatake-san."

Oblivion swallowed the silver-haired ninja before he could form a response.

* * *

It spat him out again to the sound of Sakura's penetrating tones:

"Sensei? Sensei! You said he was awake!"

"He is awake, Sakura-chan, but he's a journin: I'm not letting you near him because the body wakes before the brain. Realising he's slit your throat in his sleep would upset him."

Kakashi opened his eye to see his pink-haired student pinned to the floor by Naruto. The blond noticed the movement and relaxed: "Sensei; Thank goodness."

"Kakashi-sensei would never hurt his students Naruto-_baka_!" the kunoichi shrieked furiously, trying to land a hit on the blond and failing miserably as he dodged.

"True, _Hatake Kakashi_ wouldn't but his body has been trained to kill for at least twenty years and accidents happen," Naruto retorted calmly as he avoided each hit. "Isn't that right Sensei?"

"Aa, they do indeed," Kakashi croaked. "Water?"

Naruto slipped past Sakura towards the water pitcher in the corner as the kunoichi froze, face scarlet as she realised her sensei had caught her attacking her team-mate. _Again._

"Here Sensei: one glass of water." Naruto handed it over after the journin pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Arigatou Naruto. Sakura, I'm disappointed. One hundred sit-ups; tell Sasuke I want him to supervise."

"Hai Sensei," Sakura whispered ashamedly. "Gomen Naruto."

She left the room. Kakshi had instated this punishment after the third time the kunoichi had allowed her temper to rule her and lashed out at Naruto. Sasuke would ensure Sakura didn't shirk and add his own disapproval on top of the official punishment. It worked very nicely to teach the pinkette self control.

"Haku put you under, Kakashi-sensei, so your body would have a chance to recover properly," Naruto explained in swift, low tones as the jounin sipped the water, "but he warned me privately that your brain might be a little behind when you woke up." The blond paused thoughtfully: "I've seen what a half-asleep jounin can do to the woman they wake up next to if the woman makes sudden movements."

Kakashi had never actually killed anyone in that kind of accident but there had been a few near misses and he knew colleagues who had slain incautious lovers in the seconds between sleep and waking. That kind of incident often prompted retirement from ANBU and occasionally from life.

"Geisha have a protocol for ninja who stay the night," Naruto said with a soft smile, "which boils down to 'don't move until they get out of bed', Sensei."

Kakashi almost smiled. Naruto's unconventional education had come through to great advantage once more.

"Status?" he inquired.

"It's lunchtime and Tazuna didn't go to the bridge this morning," Naruto supplied promptly. "Some kind of local holy day. Zabuza is mobile but not yet recovered enough to fight. Sasuke can tree-walk, change trees without pausing to adjust his chakra levels and has worked out how to channel chakra to his legs to boost his speed. Haku watched him do various jutsu and pronounced them less wasteful. Sakura has learnt enough ropework to inconvenience most non-ninja, although a samurai would flatten her. She also needs to practice more to improve speed and accuracy. Haku is in perfect health and tells me that his specialities are assassination, capture and healing, in that order. He's a genuine Yukimaki with the Hyouton kekkai genkai."

"An ice user?" Kakashi remembered Ame telling him about that particular Mizu clan. They sounded like the Kiri version of the Hyuuga with an elemental bloodline rather than a doujutsu.

"Hai. As for me, I can tree-walk now but I have to concentrate. No-Brows suggested Haku escort Sakura and the Teme to guard Tazuna this afternoon while you stay here and keep an eye on Tsunami-san and her bratty son."

"And what will you and Zabuza be doing?"

Naruto grinned evilly. "He's agreed to teach me the basics of Muon Satsujin; says it will blend nicely with my combat style. Oh, and the Kirigakure no jutsu since I have enough reserves to do it effortlessly."

Kakashi knew that any other Konoha shinobi -even gentle Umino Iruka- would have laughed at the idea of the hyperactive orange-wearing dead-last being suited to the subtle art of silent killing. The copy-nin however understood that it really did suit Uzumaki Naruto. The boy was admittedly rather loud, but never when silence counted. His stealth was on par with that of an experienced chunnin and even then the journin suspected the blond held himself back a little. The jinchuuriki was infamous for evading ANBU after all.

"Good. Anything else?"

"Since Tsunami and the brat are trapped inside my seal perimeter two of us ninja will have to go shopping for her this evening," Naruto informed him. "Me an' Haku would be best: Sakura is too distinctive with her hair and has never seriously haggled in her life -I checked- Sasuke is too taciturn and you and Zabuza are both too, too... too overkill. Plus, Haku and I can dress as girls to offset suspicion."

Kakashi stilled.

"... You _crossdress_?"

"Nobody civilian in Konoha will sell me anything worth having Sensei. I dressed as a girl in the okiya for my minarai training so as to fit in and I shop as a girl to avoid getting overcharged. I even get discounts and the shopkeepers are tremendously helpful." The blond smiled bitterly, eyes staring into the middle distance. "I never realised how badly I was treated until I started shopping incognito."

"Henge?" Kakashi asked, firmly locking the image of a girl Naruto out of his head. _No matter how unbelievably cute any daughter of Minato-sensei's would be, the idea of Naruto in a dress is just wrong._

"Just different clothes, a wig and makeup to hide the whiskers. I haven't hit puberty yet so there isn't much to disguise."

Kakashi closed his eye as a new wave of exhaustion hit. "Yes to everything. Now go away and get me something to eat before I fall asleep again."

"Hai, Sensei!"

_Minato-sensei, your precious son has to dress as a girl in order to survive the prejudice of the village you sacrificed the both of you to save. Your last wishes have not been honoured by any save a few of the older ninja._

_I pray Jiraya-sama never, ever find out._

_

* * *

_A/N: Spellcheck doesn't work for foreign words, so it may occasionally say _Journin_ rather than the correct spelling of Jounin. Other than that, Kakashi is collecting more and more puzzle pieces of Naruto's past. He's rather unwilling to put them all together though.

Thankyou everyone for your encouraging reviews and special thanks to Muroshi for your intriguing suggestion. Rest assured that they _will_ meet, but much will happen between now and then.


	34. Naruto: Hints

**Naruto: Hints**

Naruto bounced back towards Tazuna's house in the early evening, sore but cheerful with Zabuza strolling behind him. The nukenin had drilled him mercilessly for hours, never letting up for so much as a second and not letting him use shadow clones. On the plus side, Naruto's stealth was better than it had ever been and he had learned not only the hidden mist jutsu but also the voice-throwing technique Zabuza used to confuse his opponents. On the minus side, the blond's clothing was half shredded and very bloody. Zabuza had received the news that Naruto was a fast-healing stamina freak with pointy-toothed glee and attacked ceaselessly, inflicting injuries that would have killed any other genin. Even now the jinchuuriki could feel the slight burn of bijuu chakra running through him to offset the damage.

The blond had a lot of thinking to do as well. In addition to the crash course in silent killing Zabuza had told the whisker-marked genin a little about how the nukenin had met Ame-kaa-san. Apparently his mother figure had wandered across Mizu no kuni during the bloodline purges _-genocidal massacres more like_- and spirited away the children of various infamous clans from under the noses of the Yondaime Mizukage's men. Haku had not been one of these; Zabuza had found the delicate boy scavenging in the streets of one of Water Country's many ports and taken him on as an apprentice on a whim. Ame had encountered the duo a few months later to offer Haku clan training with other Yukimaki survivors, which Zabuza had accepted on his apprentice's behalf.

The Demon in the Mist described Ame-kaa-san as 'the strangest female I've ever seen or heard of' and told Naruto a story about how she had once talked a squad of Hunter-nins out of killing them. The story was rather far-fetched, but Zabuza swore it was the truth. He also claimed to have drunk himself into a stupor afterwards to drive the sheer unlikelihood of the incident out of his mind.

The other hints dropped about his kaa-san's past were equally intreguing; he hadn't realised his mother was on the short list of possibles for the mysterious bingo book figure Aruji no Shitai, Master -or Mistress- of Corpses. Of course, discovering sweet, loving, starry-eyed Ame was a gifted necromancer was a bit shocking, but Naruto suspected that was an aspect of her being miko to Shinigami-sama so he got over it quickly. Anything involving dead bodies was considered kinjutsu -forbidden- in ninja circles, but Naruto knew she came by her skill far more ethically than the other candidates for the title.

_Not that I told No-Brows that Kaa-san is miko to Shinigami-sama; it is after all a secret._

Naruto pushed through the front door of the bridge-builder's house and came face to face with the rest of his team plus Haku sitting around the table performing standard weapons' maintenance. Sakura was sharpening a kunai, Sasuke was oiling the mechanism on a fuuma shuriken and Haku -in a girly komono- was methodically working his way through a large pile of senbon. Kakashi was the only one paying attention to his surroundings: he was watching Tsunami prepare the evening meal over the top of his orange book. _Not porn, just orange. Not Icha Icha, no matter how... ambiguous the cover. I am in control of myself, dammit._

"Ah, Naruto-san," the civilian woman said warmly, turning towards the blond, "Kakashi-san tells me you have volunteered to go shopping with Haku-san for me."

"Hai, Tsunami-san," Naruto agreed with a wide grin, "I'll go and change. Could you tell Haku what we need, please?"

Half an hour later Naruto carefully re-entered the room.

"Can we go now Haku?" the blond asked, shifting a little uncomfortably under the wide-eyed stares of the rest of the room's occupants. _I don't look that different, do I?_

"Naruto," Sasuke said decisively after a pause, "you look girlier than Haku."

Naruto fidgeted. The plum kimono painted with semi-abstract bamboo patterns was rather pretty, as was the eggshell green obi painted with coral pink sakura blossom. The black wig did make his eyes appear bluer in contrast, Naruto knew, but still...

"I look that feminine?"

"Aa," Sakura said faintly. "It is very disconcerting. You even _move_ like a girl. A civilian girl."

Naruto blushed. _Too much practice._ "Well, anyway, shouldn't we be leaving Haku?"

"Hai, Naruto-_chan_, we should," Haku agreed, smiling faintly as he rose to his feet. "Shall we?"

Naruto followed his fellow cross-dresser out of the front door and let out a shaky sigh. "Tough crowd, ne?"

Haku giggled. "They were simply surprised. You are clearly male in your everyday clothing, so it unsettled them to see you looking so very feminine after a simple wardrobe change."

It hadn't been a 'simple wardrobe change'; Naruto had subtly adjusted his bone structure as well. "They didn't have to stare so," he whined, coming up beside his newest friend while making sure to keep his steps short and graceful.

The ice user gifted the blond with a singularly twisted smile. "Perhaps not; it is however a compliment to your skills that you astonished them so greatly. I didn't realise you cross-dressed regularly though."

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "The civilians back home don't like me for some stupid reason beyond my control. A disguise means I don't get overcharged for rotten food. Besides, girls get better bargains than boys."

Haku's chin dipped slightly, his loose wavy hair falling forward to frame his delicate face. "I see."

Naruto rather hoped he didn't.

* * *

A/N: A short but essential chapter, being as it is mostly backstory and scene-setting. Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers for their comments!


	35. Kakashi: Karma

**Kakashi: Karma**

Kakashi stared into space for several long minutes, lone eye glazed, after Naruto and Haku left the house.

"I didn't realise your brat cross-dressed too," the Demon in the Mist said mildly from across the room, calmly polishing his immense blade.

"I didn't either," Kakashi muttered faintly. _Is this some kind of divine punishment for all those years of Icha Icha?_ "He looks more like his mother than I realised."

"Who was his mother anyway?"

Kakashi glanced over at the nukenin, unwilling to comment.

"Uzumaki, Uzumaki," Zabuza said conversationally to no-one in particular, "Hey, wasn't the Akashi an Uzu-"

"Well done," the copy-nin interrupted, "she was indeed."

"Heh," the swordsman chuckled, "no wonder he's good with that blade of his."

Neither Sasuke nor Sakura noticed this exchange, Sasuke having gone outside to train and Sakura having retreated to the bedroom for reasons known only to her.

"I never would have pegged the Red Death's son as a cross-dresser though," Zabuza went on, "he doesn't seem the type."

"Naruto had an unusual upbringing," Kakashi managed, fishing out the orange-jacketed neurology book Ame had given him. "He was raised by geisha."

"Lucky, lucky brat," the nukenin muttered. "But I can see how being brought up by a bunch of pretty women could influence an impressionable child." He paused thoughtfully. "Haku's case is different. Cross-dressing is practically traditional in the Yukimaki clan."

"Really?"

"Aa. They are supposedly descended from a number of Yuki-onna. Yukimaki women are all beautiful and the men are indistinguishable from the women; slender, pale and gorgeous, the lot of them. As such there are two main schools of thought that the men subscribe to: Firstly, those who dress according to their gender and brutally slaughter those who mistake them for women; Lastly, those who deliberately dress as women in order to be underestimated and overlooked. They're all a bit strange, though."

"Most clans are," Kakashi pointed out.

"True. Part of the problem is that a lot of the women wear men's clothing for practical reasons and they all have gender-indeterminate names. It's creepy."

Kakashi chuckled slightly at the image Zabuza's description conjured up. "I can see how that would be stressful for outsiders."

"Never, ever flirt with a Yukimaki unless you have proved beyond doubt which gender they are," the Demon in the Mist said fervently. "Just don't go there."

A little over an hour later Kakashi sensed Naruto's highly distinctive chakra returning from the direction of the village. Having nothing better to do the jounin set out to meet up with the shopping expedition.

The copy-nin had not expected there to be anyone other than the two assigned ninjas present, so the yelp of shock when he materialised out of the bushes was quite unfortunate.

"Shit!" the brown-haired teen gasped, almost dropping the bags he was carrying. "You never mentioned ninja, Naru-chan."

Naruto blushed pinkly, an image of abashed civilian girlishness. "Gomen nasai, Ichiro-kun. Hatake-san escorted us to Wave so we would be safe from bandits."

The stocky fifteen-year-old local blinked, then nodded firmly. "I understand completely. I should have realised. I apologize for nearly dropping your purchases."

"They are undamaged; you have nothing to be sorry for, Ichiro-san," Haku said softly, voice barely above a whisper. "And we should have warned you."

"I'm sure I have some money left I can give you, Ichiro-kun," Naruto said earnestly, blue eyes wide and innocent, "We must have inconvenienced you most terribly, bringing you all the way out here."

"No, I couldn't possibly take money," the young man insisted, "but I'll gladly accept a kiss from cute little Naru-chan."

Kakashi had never been more grateful for his mask.

Naruto smiled sweetly and kissed the older boy tenderly on the lips. "Arigatou for everything, Ichiro-kun."

"You are most welcome," Ichiro said, blushing scarlet with pride and embarrassment. "I leave these ladies in your care, ninja-san," he added before dashing off.

Kakashi waited until the young man was well out of sight and earshot before picking up the bags and leading the way back to Tazuna's house. He did not speak at all to either Naruto or Haku; the jounin's thoughts clamoured too loudly for conversation to be possible.

_Does Naruto prefer other boys? Is that the real reason he is so comfortable in women's clothing?_

The copy-nin did not actually get around to debriefing Naruto for his 'sub-mission' until after dinner. By then Naruto had changed back into his grey hakama and gi top and washed off the make-up; a change Kakashi was grateful for.

_It is _not_ homophobia; I am not homophobic. The stumbling block is his heritage, not his behaviour._ It was very clear to Kakashi by now that -although the blond had inherited certain aspects of both of his parents- Naruto was very much his own person.

The almost-thirteen-year-old gave his sensei a detailed yet concise report of the shopping trip: from the pinched faces of the village children to the limited availability of all non-local foodstuffs.

"Just one question, Naruto-kun," Kakshi said at the end of the recitation, "why kiss the Ichiro boy?"

The blond looked puzzled. "It was in character, Kakashi-sensei. All through the afternoon I played Naru-chan as shy but extremely affectionate. To have acted otherwise would have been suspicious."

"You don't seem bothered by having to kiss another boy," the jounin drawled. There was something under the surface here. Something important.

"It isn't an issue; I am a ninja and my personal preferences will never jeopardise the outcome of a mission," Naruto said firmly. "I am loyal to Konoha and will serve as my Hokage sees fit."

Noting the failure of that line of inquiry, Kakashi decided to approach the issue from another direction.

"Naruto, what is sex about?"

"Depends," the blond replied slowly, eyeing his sensei warily and clearly baffled by the question. "From what Hibana-nee told me -she's the geisha who gave me the Talk- most fundamentally sex is for reproduction. Humans are no different from dogs or even lizards in that respect. But for humans there are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects as well. Physically it's about pleasure, of course. Mentally it's about trust. Emotionally it's about intimacy and comfort. Spiritually it's about forming strong bonds with the people who matter to you. Why are you asking, Sensei?"

_Ah. Oh dear. I suppose his outlook is inevitable considering his upbringing, but it is in no way conventional. How ironic that it may make him more balanced as a ninja in the end._

_More ironic is that a child of such besotted parents does not believe in grand romantic gestures or monogamy._

"You do realise that most people believe sex should be an expression of commitment to the individual you are in love with or married to, don't you?"

Naruto shrugged. "In a perfect world. But there's love and there's _love_, and then there's caring for those precious to you. Whatever it takes to keep everyone alive and as intact as possible, Kakashi-sensei."

As much as he would have liked to disagree with this brutal pragmatism, Hatake Kakashi had to admit -if only in the privacy of his own mind- that his own feelings ran parallel to his student's.

* * *

By the next morning Kakashi was fully recovered, so he set about preparing for the A-class solo mission he'd picked up back in the Sandaime's office. He'd decided that Naruto would be left in charge of team seven and hopefully Haku if the older boy co-operated. Zabuza was no longer wounded, but he was not fully recovered yet and even if he had been Kakashi would _not_ have left the nukenin in charge of his genin team.

"Hokage-sama entrusted me with a secondary mission," the copy-nin said conversationally over breakfast. "I should have it in the bag by tomorrow noon, so I'll see you then. Naruto, I'm leaving you in charge since Zabuza actually listens to you from time to time and your strategy is half-decent for a green genin. Questions?"

"How do you suggest I divide our manpower, Sensei?" the blond asked immediately. Kakashi was grateful beyond words that Naruto had not seen fit to wear his 'girl outfit' again. He _knew_ Naruto was perfectly aware of how disturbing the jounin found it, and would not have put it past the blond to wear it just to see his sensei squirm. Thankfully Naruto was professional enough not to do so while on a dangerous mission. _I suspect, however, that when we get back to the village all bets will be off. He is an Uzumaki after all, with their distinctive and unfortunate sense of humour._

_Maybe I can goad someone into irritating him and thereby deflect his attention._

"How do you think they should be organised, Naruto?"

"Well, if I were expecting to be attacked at the bridge I'd take everyone except No-Brows, since the perimeter will keep out non-ninja and even crippled he can take out anyone that Gatou could have hired in a hurry," Naruto said thoughtfully, "Unless we are ridiculously unlucky and the bastard shells out for a seal master. But if I were expecting a two-pronged attack I'd leave Sakura behind to patrol the perimeter and ambush anyone trying to get to the house. Her genjutsu, nawajutsu and shurikenjutsu are sufficient for her to be a formidable opponent against any number of thugs so long as she stays within the perimeter and attacks from the cover of the trees."

"That's a good strategy Naruto," Kakashi praised his oldest student.

"Sakura can also make sure No-Brows rests properly. What is it with jounin not taking care of themselves, Sensei?"

Kakashi scratched his head sheepishly. "I assure you that all the jounin I know are very well behaved in the hospital."

"Yeah, until they escape," Naruto snarked back to the sound of his team-mates' respective snort and giggle, "though I've never once seen an ANBU in hospital, so perhaps evading proper medical treatment is a masked-person thing?"

Kakashi prudently avoided answering that. _Though he is probably right. It isn't our fault really; hospitals just don't feel safe._

"Well I leave you all to Naruto then," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Naruto, try not to run everyone into the ground while I'm gone."

"I hear you Sensei," the blond said dryly. "Try not to be back late."

The copy-nin again avoided answering his whiskered student, not seeing the point in entering a battle of wits with someone as perceptive as Naruto, instead leaping out of the window, across the water and into the trees towards where Zabuza had indicated Gatou's base was located.

It did not take him long to find.

_Definitely civilian construction; no ninja would indulge in such a ridiculously impractical piece of architecture,_ Kakashi decided, frowning slightly at the fortress/treehouse monstrosity that was, amazingly, even more of an eyesore than Zabuza's description had suggested. _That... thing may be inaccessible to civilians, but any chunnin could infiltrate without a second thought. Hell, Sakura could break in without too much effort._

The mixed bag of thugs patrolling around the edifice were somewhat problematic; there were a lot of them and the mission was assassination, not frontal assault and total obliteration. _Rule eight for successful ninja: never exceed the mission parameters; they won't pay you extra for it. If they do want more doing they'll give you a second mission._

Kakashi made himself comfortable in a tree, hidden from view by a very minor genjutsu, and settled down to wait, watch and plot. He had plenty of time.

As the sun slowly made its way across the sky the silver-haired jounin patiently watched as people came and went from the fortress. He took note of the guards' behaviour, how the various traps were armed -and disarmed- and how long each shift was. He also observed what activity was visible through the building's various windows through the judicious use of kage bunshin. True, he could not make more than six without taxing his reserves, but for this mission four clones were perfectly adequate.

The first thing Kakashi learned from the clones was that his target both very rich and incredibly stingy. Gatou had more than enough money to hire a team of six chunnin to protect him full-time, but was unwilling to part with even a tenth of what that would cost when paying the band of mercenary thugs who enforced the corrupt businessman's reign of terror. He even insisted on paying the ones who patrolled the villages less because they had the opportunity to extort food and other supplies from the locals.

_Scumbag._

There were enough bandits wandering around inside the complex that two of his clones were able to knock out and hide two would-be guards and carry out the rounds in themselves, locating storerooms, bedrooms and offices with ludicrous ease. They even had enough chakra left afterwards to sharingan their captives into believing that nothing had happened at all.

By nightfall Kakashi had more than enough information to carry out his mission. He even had enough to achieve a self-determined side mission -_Naruto must be affecting me more than I'd realised_- to appropriate all of Gatou's squandered funds. He'd decided to pack up the cash first -into sealing scrolls he'd 'borrowed' from his blond student- before using his sharingan to forge the paperwork necessary to take control of Gatou Industries' bank accounts. The Sandaime was always being complained to about the shortage of funds. _My good deed for the month._

Once the money was properly stowed away Kakashi could get on with the original mission. Killing a civilian in their sleep was not hard, especially when his latest forays into high-level lightning manipulation were considered. Gatou would suffer an inexplicable heart attack, leaving his highly centralised business to fall apart through bankruptcy and lack of leadership. Tidy and untraceable. Best of all, the thugs would all accuse eachother of absconding with the money rather than suspect outside interference.

The copy-nin made his move shortly after midnight, walking into the building during the shift change while hidden by the Mesai Gakure no jutsu, an a-rank concealment jutsu popular amongst Iwa jounin. Kakashi hated the technique -it gave him flashbacks to his first and disastrous jounin mission- but he could not deny its utility. The jutsu made it possible for him to stroll right in through the front door.

Once inside he set about completing his self-assigned tasks as efficiently and calmly as possible. _Haste is the enemy of speed. Conscientiousness and care make it possible to work as fast as reasonably possible. I have time._

He left the complex at four in the morning, escaping undetected and profoundly disturbed by how smoothly the mission had gone. _That was too easy; none of the things that could have gone wrong happened. I didn't even need to use one of my minor contingency plans._

_Something always goes wrong, if only slightly. Always. When is the other shoe going to drop?_

Recognising that fretting over the unnatural ease with which the mission had taken place was futile, the jounin settled himself in the fork of a tree, wove a genjutsu around himself and fell asleep. He had time to rest before his designated meeting with his students.

He was jerked into wakefulness just under six hours later by a shockwave of bijuu chakra originating from the nearest village. Kakashi ran towards the commotion at full speed, praying frantically for his team to still be alive and whole. The elevated and youki-laced chakra signature up ahead did not fill him with hope._ It seems things have gone twice as wrong on the escort mission to make up for the perfect assassination mission._

_Please, please let them all be alive._

_

* * *

_

Notes

Akashi = Red Death; Uzumaki Kushina's bingo book nickname

Gomen nasai = many apologies

Arigatou = thanks

A/N: This is a very long chapter because it was originally two rather short chapters. More Kakashi; he really doesn't want to see what's in front of him does he?


	36. Naruto: Command

**Naruto: Command**

Naruto was both nervous and excited to be lift in command of the escort mission. True, he had taken charge after Kakashi-sensei passed out on the way to the old drunk's house, but that had been sort-of by default and only for a few hours. This time Sensei had officially handed over responsibility and there was a real possibility of getting attacked by bandits.

The first day went very smoothly, team seven guarding Tazuna at the bridge while Haku fussed over 'Zabuza-sama' back at the house. Apparently the nukenin wasn't recovering as quickly as he should be.

He decided that evening that the next day Sakura would stay behind to guard the seal perimeter since Zabuza still hadn't recovered enough to be useful. According to Haku the swordsman had pulled open some internal stitching while teaching the blond Muon Satsujin, which set back his recovery. The Yukimaki hastened to add that Naruto bore no fault; Zabuza really should have known better than to push himself that hard.

This resulted in Haku volunteering to help out at the bridge, which led to leaving Sakura behind.

"You're a genjutsu specialist at the moment, Sakura-chan," Naruto explained to his pink-haired team-mate the next morning, "and while your taijutsu is improving you work best when striking from cover or through traps and ambush. So long as you stay inside the perimeter you'll be mostly safe -unless they throw things- and you can genjutsu them to kingdom come without ever being in danger. No-one's even tried to attack the house yet, which bothers me."

"So I have to stay behind just in case someone discovers the perimeter? What about Zabuza and Haku?"

"Zabuza has been drugged to immobility by Haku so he actually rests this time and Haku will be replacing you in the field," Naruto said promptly. "We don't have as much experience working together but since he's more experienced than you are it should balance out just fine."

Sakura nodded grudgingly. They'd all witnessed Haku's proficiency with senbon. The ice user was wickedly accurate with them.

"If we get attacked at the bridge Haku will defend Tazuna while Sasuke and I go on the offensive; This is because Haku actually has long-range attacks, while we only have mid- and close-range stuff. If it gets too messy we'll retreat back to the seal perimeter to protect the client; that way Haku can go on the offensive and Sakura can join in. Acceptable?"

"Hai, hai," Sakura grumbled, her body language at odds with her tone. The kunoichi was clearly pleased to be left partially independent and with less chance of actually having to kill someone.

"Good. Lets go escort Tazuna-san to the bridge Haku, Sasuke," Naruto said cheerily. "He needs to get the damn thing finished."

The two black-haired boys followed the blond and the bridge builder out of the house and towards the building site.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked as they ambled along.

"Hai teme?" Sasuke had been chewing over something for a few days now, glancing at Naruto regularly. It seemed he had finally come to a decision.

"Would you be willing to help me throw off my fangirls?" The Uchiha asked cautiously.

_A bit cryptic that. What does he mean by..._ Naruto stumbled, then _stared_ at his team-mate. "You want to take Naru-chan out on a _date?_ Are you _insane?_"

"So that's a 'no'?"

"Sasuke, if you want someone to throw of the fangirls just ask Sakura."

"Dobe. Sakura _is_ a fangirl."

"Then why not ask one of the older kunoichi? One of the mature ones? Hell, make it a D-rank mission and pay them for the inconvenience."

Sasuke looked thoughtful, then intrigued. "Any recommendations?"

"Find a sensible chunnin; there are more of them than you would think. Or if you're really serious about throwing them off, set up a regular meeting with a maiko."

"A maiko?"

"Yeah. The younger ones are thirteen or fourteen. Maiko are educated, polite and offer complete confidentiality; a lot of ninja visit geisha just for someone to talk to. I know a couple if you're interested: Properly brought up girls with real manners even a Hyuuga couldn't fault." Naruto's brain had adjusted to receiving Benihime's memories every night by this point, so he was used to remembering two days at once. Benihime's yesterday had involved a distraught ANBU who had discovered the illegitimate son she had believed dead eight years previously had in fact been removed by Danzo and inducted into ROOT. Benihime had made a house call at the behest of her surprisingly frantic squad-mates, who didn't know anyone else they trusted to help. _Konoha really, really needs proper therapists for ninja. T&I specialists just don't cut it, however psychologically adept they are._

"Hn." Sasuke looked... reflective.

"Naruto-san?"

"Yes, Haku?" Naruto still hadn't been able to cure him of that '-san' that had come up after his parentage had been revealed. Uzumaki Kushina really had been a princess. It was all the older boy could do not to call him '-sama'.

"How much do you know about Uzushiogakure, about your heritage?" The ice user asked curiously. "I know a little, but it is fairly biased."

"I know some. The Uzumaki clan founded the village and ran both it and the island it was located on. It didn't have any real bloodline clans, just people who were highly skilled in their various fields; _all _the various fields. The whole village was flattened by Kumo and Kiri not long after the Second Shinobi War because they were intimidated by the Uzumakis' sealing proficiency." Naruto said.

"What's so scary about seals, dobe?" Sasuke asked.

_This is an opportunity; one I cannot afford to pass up._ "What do you know about bijuu, Uchiha Sasuke?"

Sasuke slowed for a moment, visibly intrigued by the abrupt change in Naruto's tone, cadence and vocabulary.

"Not much," he conceded. "There were nine in total and Yondaime died to kill the Kyuubi when it attacked Konoha about thirteen years ago."

_In other words, practically nothing and most of that inaccurate._ "The bijuu are chakra constructs, beings of pure energy. Once there was only one of them but it was split into nine pieces by the Ridoku Sennin. Each fragment is twice as powerful as the one before it and has therefore one more tail. The two-tails is twice as powerful as the one-tail and the three-tails is twice as powerful as the two-tails and so on. They don't really have names and are therefore named after the beasts they resemble: Ichibi no Tanuki, Nibi no Nekomata, Sanbi no Ebikame, Yonbi no Saru, Gobi no Irukaume, Rokubi no Namekuji, Nanabi no Kabutomushi, Hachibi no Ushioni and Kyuubi no Yoko. The Ichibi is occasionally called 'Shukaku' after a demented priest who reputedly fused his soul to it in at attempt to gain power. They are all mindlessly destructive in their natural state, largely because they don't see the need to avoid human settlements.

"As they are made purely of energy, specifically Shizennaki -natural energy- and Youki -demon energy- they cannot be killed. Energies -chakra included- can be concentrated, stored, converted or dispersed, but never destroyed. The traditional method of restraining a bijuu is to seal it in something. A gifted and well-trained fuuinjutsu master can do this with a modicum of preparation without harming himself or the designated container; issues arise only when those inadequately trained try to muck around with seals, which sadly is rather often. Are you with me so far?"

"Hai. Bijuu, while dangerous, can be restrained by a competent sealmaster. Incompetents however are more common."

"Quite. This interference occurs because a bijuu sealed in a clay pot -the original method- is completely inert. Useless. In order to weaponise a bijuu it has to be sealed within a person. The person is then called a Jinchuuriki -a Human Sacrifice- and can access the power of the bijuu they contain," Naruto continued. "Of course, Jinchuuriki seals are full of holes since they are designed to let the power out rather than keep it in. They are also fairly crude, often relying on literal human sacrifice to power them.

"The sheer power a jinchuuriki can call on compared to the average ninja means they are considered living weapons rather than soldiers and are often feared and ostracised by civilians and other ninja. This shunning results in unstable or outright psychotic jinchuuriki, which just makes people more afraid of them. This fear however does not stop Kages from ordering them made, so the cycle continues."

"Stupid."

"I agree, but I digress; you wanted to know why people are afraid of fuuinjutsu specialists. Their ability to create, restrain and unmake jinchuuriki is one of the main reasons why Uzushiogakure was annihilated: Kiri and Kumo each have two bijuu and feared that the Uzumakis would steal them and bend them to their own use. Both villages therefore banded together and took steps to neutralise the threat."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, deep in thought. "Dobe?"

"Yeah, teme?"

"If bijuu can't be killed, why are we taught that Yondaime killed Kyuubi?"

Naruto very deliberately looked skywards. "Konohagakure, like any other hidden village, has S-class secrets and laws preventing them from being revealed," he said conversationally. "One of these laws forbids anyone aware of what actually happened the night Yondaime stopped Kyuubi from destroying even more of Konoha from informing anyone unaware of the truth of what occurred."

"You know?"

"Aa."

"But you can't tell me."

"Iie."

"How did you find out?"

"there are sufficient clues available to make an educated guess," Naruto said carefully, "if a person keeps their eyes and ears open and puts all the pieces together in a logical fashion."

"Hn;" more calculating this time. "How come you know all this, dobe?"

"The existence of the bijuu is significant to the power dynamic of the major hidden villages," Naruto said calmly, "so my tutors insisted I know about them. Suna has one; Iwa, Kumo and Kiri have two each. Taki has one -I believe it was donated by Konoha as part of a treaty- and the status of the Kyuubi is officially indeterminate. As far as I am aware, most if not all of the bijuu are currently weaponised: sealed within jinchuuriki. This makes them powerful pawns at the disposal of their Kages and both deterrents against and incentives for outright warfare."

"You believe the Yondaime hokage sealed the Kyuubi within a jinchuuriki," Haku said, entering the conversation for the first time.

"I said nothing," Naruto singsonged with a particularly foxy smirk, "nothing at all."

"Hn," Sasuke acknowledged with his own smirk.

"And here's the bridge," Naruto added, blatantly changing the subject. "Hey, Tazuna-san! Where are the workers? Did they all quit?"

"I don't know Naruto," the bridge builder said worriedly. "They should be here by now."

"If they aren't here they'll be in the village, right?"

"Hai, but they-"

"Tazuna-san, things are not as they should be," Naruto interrupted firmly, forming the cross-shaped handseal and bringing a pair of kage bunshin into being, one of which instantly split into twelve. "My clones will escort you back to the house; we will investigate the village."

"Arigatou, ninja-san," Tazuna said quietly, allowing four of the clones to hustle him back the way they had come.

"Right. You," Naruto pointed at the clone who had not undergone mitosis, "split into four."

The clone did so.

"Good. Clone teams of three, please; one of the stronger clones with two weaker."

Four teams of three coalesced, all composed of identical Narutos, surrounding the real shinobi.

"Now two from each team henge into Sasuke or Haku. The stronger one should be in a different disguise in three of the teams."

Now there were five identical teams in the clearing.

"Perfect. You three teams circle around the village and approach from the other side. You two flank. We'll wait until you've found out what's wrong before jumping in from this side," Naruto said firmly, eliciting a chorus of nods from his clone audience. "Off you go then." The clone teams scattered.

"Now what, taicho?" Sasuke asked, only partly in jest. Naruto could tell the younger boy thought his plan was pretty good.

"Now we get as close to the village as possible without being seen," Naruto said grimly. "This is bad, whatever it is, to keep even one of the workers from coming to the bridge, and I think Sensei has something to do with it."

"Why do you think that?" Haku asked.

"Kakashi-sensei ambles through life leaving confusion, outrage and chaos in his wake," Naruto said flatly. "He makes a mess without even trying: Just look at the muddle he made of meeting Yogensha-kaa-san. Everything was just fine until he wandered off yesterday morning, so I'm guessing he did something during the night."

"What could he poss-" Sasuke broke off as Naruto raised a hand.

"Tazuna's back at the house. Let's move."

The approach to the village was nerve- racking. Naruto became more acutely aware of the terrible responsibility of command with every step and wished -briefly- that Kakashi-ssensei had delegated to Sasuke or Haku instead. He had to remind himself that Sasuke couldn't strategise his way out of a paper bag without using brute force and he barely knew Haku.

Then the first vanguard clone dispelled.

"Shit! Gatou's thugs are sacking the village! We gotta move!" Naruto charged out of the tree-line, abandoning stealth with Haku and Sasuke right behind him as the world went red around the edges. He was wading through a knot of would-be samurai when another clone dispersed, filling the blond's mind with the memory of a mercenary casually decapitating a woman he had just raped. The body of a toddler lay nearby, discarded and broken.

The combination of rage, adrenaline and tattered nerves was too much to keep in. Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko, lost all semblance of control and _screamed._

_Kill! Kill! Destroy them all! DieDieDieDieDie!_

**You have lost control, kit; you will harm your allies. Allow me.**

Naruto was vaguely aware of a ruddy orange shroud enveloping him like a warm blanket. It felt distant but strangely reassuring.

_Protect those in my care and obliterate my foes_, he whispered to the immense, orangey-red presence wrapped around his mind.

**It will be done. Rest.**

Naruto let the warmth carry him away, slipping into oblivion to the sound of crackling chakra and terrified wails.

* * *

A/N: A little more bijuu theory and insight into Naruto as a maturing character. I'm starting in on the chunnin exam arc in a bit, so updates may slow down while I tie all the little threads together. I have something special planned for when Naruto meets the Sand Trio. Anyone remember Naruto's comment on spending time with kabuki actors? Hehehehehe...


	37. Sasuke: Truth

**Sasuke: Truth**

Sasuke recognised the danger they were in the instant Naruto lost his temper -the scream of pure fury was a clue- and hung back from the mêlée coalescing around his berserk team-mate, picking off stragglers attempting to escape the bloody blond whirlwind with thrown kunai and shuriken. Haku emulated him, launching barrage after barrage of senbon at the fleeing thugs. It wasn't until Naruto's chakra signature exploded into orangey-red malevolence that the Uchiha started started to become concerned for his team-mate's wellbeing. Berserk fury was one thing; abnormal chakra enveloping his body to form a horse-sized quadruped with long ears and a tail was altogether more disturbing. Especially since the chakra felt _wrong_.

The casual viciousness of the orange beast-thing added to the way its chakra corroded the flesh of the bandits it brushed against did nothing to offset his unease.

_Unease, ha! I am afraid. Afraid of my team-mate who is ordinarily so cheerfully honourable and is now floating inside a giant chakra...fox?_

_A fox made of orange chakra, like Naruto's description of the bijuu less than an hour ago.  
_

_I am a moron. Why else would Naruto know so much about jinchuuriki? Nothing he does or learns is random. He _is _a Sacrifice. _

Sasuke ran after the rampaging fox, which thankfully was concentrating its destructive efforts on the fleeing thugs and ignoring both the scattered civilians and the battered buildings. It was considerably larger than a draft ox and had only one tail -almost as long as the beast itself- which Sasuke was profoundly grateful for. If this was indeed a manifestation of the terrible Kyuubi no Yoko, it was a very minor one. Judging by the carnage left in its wake however, even a one-tailed fox was overkill for mere bandit extermination.

The Uchiha rounded a corner into the village square and skidded to a halt, eyes widening and pupils constricting as he almost ran into the chakra construct. The fox's muzzle tilted and Sasuke was transfixed by a single burning orange eye.

_Oh dear kami ohDearKamiOhKamiI'mgoingtoDIE..._

The world gained a peculiar clarity, slowing around him as the chakra that made up the body of the fox in front of him gained depth and structure. After an excruciatingly long pause the bijuu snorted and looked away, dismissing him as it settled down to sprawl in the dirt like an ordinary animal. Sasuke sagged in relief.

_I am not afraid of Naruto; I will never be afraid of Naruto. But this is not Naruto and it is absolutely petrifying. The dobe has this, this THING locked inside his body all the time? Day and Night? How does he stay sane?_

"Sasuke!"

The Uchiha shifted sideways just enough to see Hatake Kakashi jump down into the square from a nearby rooftop.

"Here, Sensei," he croaked, heart still pounding madly as he took deep breaths to keep himself from hyperventilating, "I'm not hurt."

"Are you sure?" The copy-nin asked carefully, mismatched eyes never leaving the lounging fox.

"Positive. No blood, no burns and very few bruises. It just...startled me," Sasuke said as firmly as he could, looking up to meet his sensei's eyes so as to convince the jounin of his sincerity.

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly. "Sasuke, you have the sharingan," he said quietly.

"I do?" The fox-thing snorted derisively and rolled its eyes. "Dobe," Sasuke growled automatically then blanched as the bijuu turned its head to stare him down with both eyes.

"**Uzumaki Naruto is currently unavailable,"** it rumbled in surprisingly bland tones, looking down its nose at the two ninja, **"The strain of going completely berserk then opening his seal have shut down his mind. He would have collapsed after going berserk anyway, but would have been left vulnerable to attack until he recovered. I will inform you once he is sufficiently aware to reawaken."**

"Kyuubi," Sasuke rasped, distantly aware that his Sensei was rooted to the spot.

"**Clever little Uchiha,"** the bijuu agreed. **"I mean no harm to the allies of my kit. Or to his foster-mother's mate,"** it added grudgingly, eyeing Kakashi like the jounin was something smelly on the bottom of its paw, **"but I can and will defend us from any who attempt to harm us. We have a deal."**

"Naruto made a deal with you?" Kakashi asked faintly, apparently coming to terms with the fact that his death was not actually as imminent as he had feared.

"**His foster-mother set the provisional terms, but I will abide by it until Naruto decides against agreeing to it,"** the Kyuubi calmly informed him. **"The bandits are dead; all that remains is to protect the kit's allies until he reawakens."**

"Protect?" Kakashi repeated dumbly.

"**you are not a fool, little jounin;"** the bijuu rumbled drily, **"try not to act like one."**

**

* * *

**A/N: And so Sasuke becomes aware of Kyuubi, meeting it even before Naruto -but after Ame- and Kakashi gets the fright of a lifetime. I kinda enjoy doing this to him; he's too complacent for his own good, you know. Anyway, short chapter and the wave arc will be over in a bit. My plans for the Exams Arc are already in motion, but that's two months away and there will be a lot happening in that time. A special hello to my readers in non-english-speaking countries! I work extra hard on my grammer and spelling so as to be properly comprehensible for you guys.


	38. Naruto & Kakashi: Confrontation

For marc(), Writer of my 50th review!

**Naruto & Kakashi: Confrontation**

Naruto came to his senses with the feeling of cold stone pressed against his cheek. He opened his eyes, rolled into a sitting position and looked up.

And up...

… and up.

"Wow," he whispered, taking in the vast, octagonal, jade-walled chamber he was seated in the centre of.

"**Welcome back, kit."**

Naruto's head flicked around to stare at one of the distant walls. That particular wall wasn't there; in its place were bars and seals and behind them, not all that far from the shadowed ceiling, were eyes.

Huge, glowing, orange eyes with ovoid pupils.

"Kyuubi no Yoko," Naruto murmured in awe as his eyes adjusted to the dark and he took in the immense yet elegant form of the mightiest of the bijuu.

"**Indeed,"** the bijuu replied calmly.** "We have much to discuss, Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, born to my previous Sacrifice Uzumaki Kushina the Akashi, princess of Uzu no kuni, and Namikaze Minato, Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou and Yondaime hokage of Konohagakure no Sato. You are very much your parents' child and very much the whirling maelstrom of upheaval they named you for."**

The confirmation of his heritage -not to mention the extra details- came as a shock, but Naruto weathered it as stoically as possible. In his kaa-san's lectures on Youkai and Bijuu in general she had stressed that self control was essential in order to gain their respect. The more impassive a façade he maintained the better. He rose to his feet and bowed politely: "What is it you wish to discuss, Kyuubi-dono?"

Teeth flashed as the fox smiled. **"The deal, Naruto-dono. What else?"**

"To which deal do you refer, Kyuubi-dono?" Naruto wasn't sure if the fox was mocking him or not, so ignored the honorific it had used to address him.

The nine-tailed demon kitsune made a huffing sound suspiciously like a snicker and dropped down to sprawl across the floor of its cage.** "You'll do. Amemaihana-sama made a bargain with me on your behalf for access to my chakra in accordance to your physical limits, complete, comprehensible and suitable instruction in its usage and advice on other matters as and when appropriate."**

Naruto considered it. It sounded like a good offer. But then again, nothing ever came for free. The blond had learned that lesson early on. "Sounds costly, Kyuubi-dono."

"**Call me Yoko-san. She promised me suitable vengeance on the ones responsible for my imprisonment, which she has granted already, and a litter of kits with the parentage of my choice."**

Naruto blinked. "Wait a minute Yoko-san; Kaa-san agreed for me to _breed_?"

The Kyuubi smiled toothily. **"Provisionally."**

"Yoko-san, just to be completely clear, you want me to get a girl of your choosing pregnant-"

"**Iie, my kokitsune. I want a number of men of my choosing to get _you_ pregnant. That way I have complete control over their heritage."**

Naruto, for only the third time in his entire life, was shocked completely speechless. He gaped at the Kyuubi for a few seconds then tried to say something -anything- coherent. "I, er, ano, uh," he managed. "Yoko-san?"

The fox huffed in amusement. **"There really is no hurry, kit. It will be almost three years before your body will be sufficiently mature to bear young and I am as yet undecided as to who would be a suitable male candidate."**

"I don't count as a male candidate?"

The bijuu's eyes narrowed. **"I will have no part of the blond moron who fathered you in my offspring. Your mother was quite adequate for a human and both competent and entertaining; your sire however did not know his limits. I will not have my kits partaking in the foolishness he indulged in. He was as insistent in overshooting his capabilities as you are, except you have my chakra and stamina to back you up."**

"So they're going to be my mother's grandchildren but not my father's?" Naruto clarified.

"**Indeed. And they will be Uzumakis in name as well as in blood. You are your mother's heir after all and that clan has a respectable heritage."**

Naruto wondered briefly what, exactly, the Kyuubi would consider respectable. "Will you not consider alternatives, Yoko-san?" he inquired cautiously.

"**Kits are a valuable and high-maintenance investment. Slaughtering an entire settlement down to the last infant once a year for nine years would be sufficient I suppose. A major ninja village or similarly sized civilian town, that is."**

Naruto paled and swallowed hard. _Kits it is then._ "I, Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, do bind myself to the deal made on my behalf by Amemaihana-sama with the Kyuubi no Yoko. So I pledge myself."

"**And I pledge myself also,"** the Kyuubi rumbled. **"Now wake up; your sensei is being difficult and your team-mate's eyes are giving me the creeps."**

**

* * *

**

**

* * *

**

Kakashi watched the giant, glowing, translucent orange fox curled up in the village square with narrowed and wary mismatched eyes. Next to him Sasuke stared at his team-mate's sentient chakra cocoon with blank red eyes, each iris containing a single black tomoe lazily orbiting the was curled up in a fetal ball within the beast's ribcage where its vital organs should have been _And, in a sense, are._

The jinchuuriki stirred and the chakra construct wavered and retreated, shrinking smoothly as it flowed back into the blond's body like water down a plughole. With his sharingan eye Kakashi could see that the complex seal over his student's navel gate was at the centre of the vortex.

It was almost beautiful.

When the viscous orange chakra had receded to an inch-thick layer that rippled and billowed like liquid fire Naruto opened his eyes and made the inarticulate noises common to all those waking from prolonged unconsciousness:

"Uhh... wha?"

Kakashi did his best to ignore his oldest student's sharp black claws, thick whisker-marks, pointed ears, orange irises, slit pupils and mouth full of very sharp teeth but it was _not_ easy. The fact that the blond was acting like a month-old kitten did help though.

"Naruto?"

"Hai, Sensei," the blond mumbled, rolling into a sitting position and staring at his hands, "Just give me a sec'."

The jounin watched as the chakra cloak sank into his student's skin and the claws, fangs and whisker-marks receded back to normal while his eyes faded to blue and his pupils rounded.

"Okay, now we can talk," Naruto said as he gave his formerly-clawed feet a critical once-over. "Is everyone alright, Kakashi-sen -Sasuke?" The blond boy's eyes widened as he noticed his team-mate for the first time.

Sasuke stared at Naruto from his perch next to the jounin. "You're a jinchuuriki, dobe."

The flat statement startled Kakashi; He hadn't realised any of the rookie genin even knew what a jinchuuriki was.

"Ano... aa?" Naruto ventured, looking deeply uncomfortable. "Gomen for not telling you earlier, there's this law-"

"Aa," Sasuke agreed, "there would be. Secret weapons are only secret if nobody knows about them. We're good."

"Oh. Okay then. How did you get your sharingan, teme?"

Sasuke reddened. "Kyuubi scared me."

"Ah." Kakashi watched Naruto successfully squash his mirth until his voice was only slightly wobbly. "Call him Yoko; it's less distinctive and could be a normal ninja nickname."

"Hai. Are you going to tell Sakura?" Sasuke asked. "This isn't something that should be kept from her. It might be life or death one day."

Kakashi watched the extremely surreal interaction between his two male students as he pulled his hitai-ite back over his sharingan eye. _What happened there and how did I miss it?_

"Um, I can't tell her even if I should. She is part of team seven but, well, she's civilian-born and kinda immature," Naruto said cautiously, "she might not understand even if I did tell her. We could tell her about bijuu and jinchuuriki in general -in case we come across one and have to flee for our lives- and take it as it comes. She's intelligent but not really all that smart."

"Good enough, dobe."

"Great. Now could you switch your eyes off? They make Yoko jumpy."

Sasuke's eyes faded to black. "Jumpy? Why?"

Naruto's eyes went blank and crossed slightly, his attention focused inwards. "Uchiha Madara used Mangekyou sharingan to enslave Yoko to his will and set it on Konoha like an attack dog," the blond said flatly after a short pause, pupils constricting into slits for an instant before returning to normal. "Old bastard's dead now, but the swirly eyes are still a sore spot."

"Noted," Sasuke conceded with a shiver.

"Naruto, Kyu- Yoko said you had a deal with it. What deal?" Kakashi asked, pushing as much authority as he could muster into the question.

"It's not ninja-related Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said quietly. "no homicidal rampages, no stealing from temples; nothing remotely criminal. Kaa-san set it up and I agreed to abide. It's a _good_ bargain. I get lots out of it and Kaa-san's paid for half of it already."

"And the other half?"

"Not your jurisdiction, Sensei, I promise," Naruto said firmly, eyes pleading for the jounin to understand. "talk to Ame-kaa-san if you must, Kakashi-sensei, but it's years away in the future so I have time to prepare and concentrate on my career first. Please?"

"We _will_ resume this conversation at a later date," Kakashi said sternly, "but for now I'll let it drop. You can both help the locals pile up the corpses for disposal. Remember to check them for valuables first."

Sasuke went green but nodded. Disposal meant cremation and the Uchiha was still feeling the aftermath of burning one of the Demon Brothers alive.

Naruto nodded too. "Hai, Sensei." He hurried off at once, leading the queasy Uchiha by the hand. Kakashi had noted with interest that the younger boy had got a little clingy after his first kill. _At least Naruto doesn't seem to mind. Then again, he probably sees it as part of 'whatever it takes to do the mission and keep everyone safe'._ Watching them get to work gave the jounin a strange feeling in his gut. Seeing the mini-kyuubi had given him terrifying flashbacks to the slaughter the bijuu had comitted almost thirteen years ago. Learning that Uchiha Madara of all people was responsible -wasn't the Shodaime supposed to have killed him at the valley of the end?- made him uncomfortable. It also made him wonder about the Uchiha massacre. _Madara was alive then. I wonder..._

..._and is now dead, probably as part of the Kyuubi's 'deal'. Ame mentioned his demise before we left on this mission, but the Sandaime was surprised by the news. _

_Does that mean Ame killed him?_

_While pregnant?_

_But a bargain with the nine-tailed demon-fox of all things? What does Naruto have that Kyuubi could possibly want that isn't ninja-related? Which reminds me: I need to check on the client. Haku said that Naruto ordered some clones to take Tazuna home and confirmed that he was safely inside the seal perimeter before approaching the village. Sakura and Zabuza were at the house so he's probably safe and sound._

Kakashi had already sent one of his nin-dogs back to Konoha nine days previously with the news of Tazuna's deception. Today's fiasco required a second message. _An urgent one directly to the Sandaime rather than a standard one to the missions desk. I'll have to send the fastest ninken._

The copy-nin did however have to admit that Kyuubi had been both efficient and careful in its homicidal rampage: the only fox-related casualties were Gatou's thugs and the infrastructure was undamaged. He had seen civilians with bruises, cuts and the occasional broken bone here and there, but none with even the smallest chakra burn. It was reassuring that the fox was a creature of its word, however personally unpleasant. Of course, the thugs were all somewhere between char-grilled and carbonised, which again brought back unwelcome memories. _It was perhaps cruel of me to assign this task to Sasuke but the shinobi lifestyle is not gentle. To be nauseous and weak around burns and fire is a flaw that he must overcome before it kills him._

_And then there is Naruto._

_Something tells me that part of his bargain with the demon-fox involves instruction in the use of its chakra; Ame-chan would settle for nothing less._

_I need to overcome my own fear of the damn bijuu lest I weaken my team and see to it that no-one in Konoha tries to kill him for making use of his burden. He has the potential for being the village's greatest assent in a generation and I will not see it wasted._

_Maybe I could recruit some of Ame-koi's 'friends' to run interference'._

That last idea appealed a great deal.

* * *

Kokitsune = fox kit

A/N: And we have aftermath, ladies and gentlemen. I integrated Naruto and Kakashi rather than have two short chapters. My computer is being temperamental still but I'm coping. Remember, reviews are what keep me writing!

A/N2: Gah! Finally! I've been trying to upload this for days! Damned error messages!


	39. Kakashi: Loose Ends

**Kakashi: Loose Ends**

Sharingan no Kakashi, one of the most feared shinobi of his generation, ambled absent-mindedly through the trees on his way to the house where his client and sole female student should be lurking. Most of his thoughts were occupied by the chaos magnet that was Uzumaki Naruto.

_Today his kill count has gone from two to over seventy__; more than some chunnin. He seems to be coping but it is still cause for concern; especially since he has just halved the local bandit population._

_Wait.. isn't the sun supposed to be behind me?_

The jounin stopped, puzzled as to why he was now travelling in a direction perpendicular to his planned route. _An illusion of some kind?_

"Kai."

Nothing happened.

_Okay; backtrack then._ Kakashi retraced his steps, this time paying attention to his surroundings. _Oh, now I know where I am; the perimeter should be just over- aha._

It was incredibly subtle: a slight shift in his internal balance that –if heeded- would make him walk in a wide curve instead of a straight line. Kakashi experimentally uncovered his sharingan, but the red eye with its three black tomoe could detect nothing amiss.

_A sharingan-proof genjutsu. How brilliant yet how simple: it does not affect the eyes at all__ and is therefore not visible except –probably- at the instant of being cast. Kurenai will bang her head against a wall in frustration __when I tell her the trick to fooling the sharingan._ The jounin performed a soft "kai," then looked around for the caster.

"Sakura?"

"Sensei?" drifted back from up a tree several yards to his right. "Kakashi-sensei!"

There were a few thuds of sandal on wood, the rustle of leaves and then his kunoichi student dropped out of the canopy in front of him. "Is everyone alright, Sensei?"

"Aa. No casualties or injuries," Kakashi assured her. "Nice genjutsu by the way."

"Nani?"

"Your 'go somewhere else' genjutsu. I had to retrace my steps; it's very subtle. Well done."

Sakura blushed. "Gomen for catching you in it, Sensei. I shouldn't have left it up where anyone could trigger it."

"Maa, no need to apologise. It's good to see what excellent progress you're making."

"Arigatou, Kakashi-sensei. Those scrolls you lent me have been said genjutsu works best if the victim is unaware of it, so I've been working on some subtle ones that affect the various senses. Visual genjutsus are surprisingly limiting."

"Did you realise your jutsu was sharingan-proof? It doesn't affect the eyes so it can't actually be seen. Very tidy."

The pinkette's eyes rounded in awe. "I made a sharingan-proof genjutsu? That's- that's- wow!"

"Aa," Kakashi agreed with an eye-smile as he pulled his hitai-ite down again, "very much so. I don't know if I'd be able to see it being cast or not, but I was unable to unravel it without using kai."

Sakura processed this. "Sensei?"

"Hai?"

"Would you be willing to recommend me to an inin when we return to Konoha?" She asked tentatively.

"Why?"

"This particular jutsu works by adjusting the inner ear: the inner ear is what enables you to determine which way is up. By nudging it I can make people walk in circles or even fall over. I got the idea from a medical textbook. If I expand my medical knowledge I'll be able to create more sensory genjutsu, which I think are better than the normal kind anyway. Just shutting your eyes won't make this one go away." She paused. "Plus Naruto thinks I'd be good at ijutu and team seven needs someone who can heal since we're an assault team. I'm the long-distance genjutsu person, which makes me the best candidate for field medic anyway."

"Sensory genjutsu is it? Creating a new jutsu type?"

The kunoichi made a vaguely impatient sound in her throat. "Sensei, all the genjutsu I've come across so far target the eyes, even the ones transmitted acoustically. That's just self-limiting. It makes them all vulnerable to doujutsu and then there's what Naruto does: he just closes his eyes and _ignores_ them! Then there's the fact that visual genjutsu are more chakra intensive since human vision is highly detailed. The balance-affecting jutsu barely uses as much chakra as henge and I can hit anyone within my field of vision with it! And it only needs two handsigns!"

"I agree that the field is vastly under-explored," Kakashi conceded. "Very well. When we get back I will write a recommendation for you to give to a chunnin medic so you can continue your studies. This does not licence you to slack off or opt out of team practices or any other assignments I give, mind you."

"I understand. Arigatou nasai, Kakashi-sensei."

The copy-nin looked around, hunting for the source of his increasing unease. It was subtle, but now that he concentrated he could smell drying blood and ash and the ground ahead of him was slightly disturbed. "Did anyone else come this way at all?"

Sakura paled slightly and her eyes focused on a point past the jounin's hip. "Half-a-dozen bandits trying to be samurai, Kakashi-sensei. Two Naruto-clones helped me distract and dispose of them."

Kaksahi's attention snapped back to his student. "Report, genin Haruno Sakura."

Sakura straightened, chin up, giving Kakashi a good view of the grime smeared across her face, the blood spatter on her skirt, cuffs and collar and the forest detritus caught on the firmly secured knot of hair at the nape of her neck.

"I was patrolling inside the perimeter when the clones came back with Tazuna; one dispelled to alert Naruto, another escorted the bridge-builder back to the house and the last two joined me. They warned me that some kind of incident was taking place in the village, so I concentrated on the section of perimeter facing the settlement. A short while later six men armed with swords and wearing poorly kept samurai armour approached. I put them under a Ukai-ro no jutsu –that's what I call the balance-affecting technique, Sensei- then layered it with a standard Naikanshin genjutsu to make them less attentive. One of the clones henged into one of the swordsmen and kawarimi'd with him. The other clone killed the sword user as he appeared, took his sword and kawarimi'd with the henged clone, attacking the other men. It killed three before getting dispelled. The henged clone returned to normal and picked off one of the men trying to escape. I caught the last two in a Mahi no jutsu and took them out with thrown kunai." The kunoichi paused, face taking a slightly green hue as she relived her first kill.

"Once the fight was over the clone stripped the bodies and moved them inside the barrier to be burned. Then I threw up." She looked embarrassed. "I remembered how upset Sasuke was when he realised he'd killed that nukenin so I let the clone comfort me a bit before sending it back to the house for a sealing scroll. When it got back it sealed all the useful stuff in the scroll, burned the rest with the bodies and dispelled. That was nearly half an hour ago. Nothing happened between then and you arriving, Sensei."

"Did you cast the detour genjutsu on me directly?"the jounin asked.

"Iie, Kakashi-sensei. I laid it on the ground in a band about six feet wide about fifteen yards away from the perimeter; that way anyone coming into contact with it would never reach the perimeter at all."

"Contact activated, hm?" Kakashi briefly uncovered his sharingan to take a closer look at the path. _And there it is; almost invisible. People really don't look down do they? Not even ninja. Naruto was right: I do need to practice more._ "Well Sakura, you've done brilliantly. Your first real fight and you didn't freeze up until it was over, and even then you set up a trap to divert intruders while you were incapacitated."

The kunoichi managed a wobbly smile at the unexpected praise.

"Sasuke and Naruto are dealing with the cleanup back at the village; they will be back soon enough. Diffuse the genjutsu trap and we'll go back to the house. Tazuna needs to be told what has happened."

"Hai, Sensei. How did your mission go?"

"It was successful," Kakashi conceded._ Although it is probably the reason why those thugs formerly in Gatou's employ were raiding the village. My bad._

The Naruto-clone said it was probably your fault things went pear-shaped," Sakura said absently, "but I suppose that was just Naruto being silly."

Kakashi sweatdropped. _Oops._

_

* * *

_

Back at the bridge-builder's house Sakura immediately went for a shower, leaving Kakashi to explain things to Tazuna and his family while Zabuza lurked in the corner of the room, sword lying across his lap.

"Gatou's dead," the jounin said laconically, "His thugs attacked the village but Naruto dealt with most of them and Haku and Sasuke picked off the rest. There are probably a few still drifting around but you should be able to deal with them without much effort. The bridge can be finished now without outside interference."

There was a stunned silence.

"He's really dead?" Inari asked timidly.

"Suffered a fatal heart attack at a quarter to four this morning," Kakashi assured him. "I don't have his head with me but I can fetch it if you need proof."

"No," Tsunami said firmly, "we believe you. Don't we?"

Both Tazuna and Inari nodded dumbly.

"We can probably stick around for a day or two just to make sure the bandits don't come back before we return to Konoha," the copy-nin added. "You'll have to pay a fine for deliberate misrepresentation of the mission parameters but I can speak to the Sandaime so you don't get blacklisted for it. Just be honest in future, ne?"

"Hai! Arigatou, Kakashi-san!" Tazuna managed.

"Good, good. Zabuza? A word?"

"Sure." The nukenin wandered outside, Kakashi following at his heels. The Demon in the Mist leant back against the wall of the house to watch the clouds as the Copy Ninja casually balanced an elbow on the railing. "What do you want?" the nukenin asked.

"Well, since you're technically soon-to-be family, I thought I should give you some of the cash I found lying around when I made my house-call to Gatou," Kakashi said blandly, "if only to ensure you aren't anywhere near here when the ANBU I ordered come sniffing around."

"Sounds like a plan;" the former mist-nin mused, "how much cash?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Twenty thousand?"

Zabuza smirked toothily through the bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face. "Good enough; you've got a deal, copy-nin. Give me the money and Haku and I will be out of your hair and on our way home by noon."

Kakashi wordlessly opened the sealing scroll he'd put the money into and unsealed one of the compartments. Twenty thick wads of banknotes appeared in a puff of chakra smoke.

The nukenin snickered evilly. "Perfect." In an instant the money was gone. "Nice meeting you; thank-you for ypur generous funding of the Resistance. Take care of Yogensha-sama and the blond brat, will ya?"

Kakashi inclined his head in agreement. "Could you see if you could get some friends of hers that aren't in the bingo book to visit her, possibly for the wedding? It should be in a few months, during the chunnin exams."

"I'll ask around. Sayonara!" the Demon in the Mist said cheerfully as he launched himself off the decking and into the trees, oversized sword strapped across his back.

"One less headache," the copy-nin muttered to himself, pulling the latest little orange book out of his pouch and dropping down to sit with his back against the wall as he waited for his other students to return. "Now where was I?"

* * *

Notes

inin = medic shinobi

ijutsu = medical technique

ukai-ro no jutsu =detour technique

naikanshin genjutsu = no interest illusion technique

mahi no jutsu = paralysis technique

A/N: And that's the wave arc over bar a few loose ends (hehehe). Sakura is very hard to write about since there isn't much of her in canon to work from. Plus, making her more than just a foil changes the team dynamic quite significantly, given her unexplored potential. I hope I've conveyed that properly. Plus, first kill. Team seven is properly blooded now.


	40. Naruto: Return

**Naruto: Return**

Four days later Naruto bounced on his toes as Tazuna officially inaugurated his finished bridge to the cheers of the villagers. Construction had ended well ahead of schedule because Sakura had browbeaten Naruto into making droves of clones to help.

"You scared them all silly when you went berserk," she had scolded him, "this way they can see you aren't a danger to them."

Sakura was partly right -she didn't know the whole story, just the official cover for the Kyuubi- so the blond had allowed himself to be coerced into helping. He had learned a great deal about load distribution, sinking foundations and metal stress in the process, which would come in handy if he ever needed to do some demolition. He liked blowing things up. He could probably build a solid, safe apartment complex as well now -if someone else provided the raw materials for construction- using his shadow clones. _I'll have to get Sandaime-jiji to put 'experienced in construction- on my profile; I'd like to do a bit more of that kind of thing._

Finishing the bridge had also been a good way to wind down after the bloody slaughter and messy disposal of Gatou's thugs. Even Sasuke had joined in after a while, the hard work tiring him to the point of that he collapsed into bed each night.

Kakashi-sensei had done nothing at all on the first day after the fight except read, generally somewhere in the vicinity of the bridge. On the second day an ANBU in a ram mask had shown up and Sensei had spent all his time with him doing kami-alone-knew-what. Naruto had not seen the ANBU since the moment he turned up, but he had sensed the elite nin and his three squad-mates moving in and out his sphere of perception many times. It was a surprisingly homey feeling: he slept better that night than any other since leaving Konoha. The blond had never realised before that his concept of home included ANBU moving in and out of sensing range at all hours of the day and night.

Day three -yesterday- had involved handing out hard cash and confiscated goods to the locals. Apparently the ANBU had gone through Gatou's hideout with a fine toothed comb and then dumped on team seven everything without immediate value to ninja. Naruto had spent the entire morning using clones to divvy it up and give it away to people who could use it. By mid-afternoon the blond was being hailed as the hero of wave both for getting the bridge finished and for single-handedly restarting the economy. Tazuna had then insisted they stay for dinner and leave after the official inauguration the next day rather than set out immediately.

"You will be the the first people to ever use my super bridge!" the bridge builder had exclaimed excitedly. Kakashi-sensei had seemed indifferent to the fuss but had nonetheless put off their departure until morning.

_And here we are. I wish the Old Drunk would get a move on though; I miss kaa-san. Although from what I gathered from Benihime, she seems to have been keeping herself busy._ Naruto had not told Kakashi about the uproar Ame had instigated by accusing Shimura Danzou of treason -_where would I begin and how would I explain __my sources?- _nor that the Hatake compound was currently hosting the jinchuuriki of the Gobi, formerly of Iwa. _Hopefully the ANBU will warn him._

Benihime had also had an interesting few weeks. Firstly the Sandaime had -after various surreptitious interviews- pushed through a scheme to have geisha teach infiltration skills at the Academy. He had been successful only because the Council had been unable to counter the fact that the best people to train ninja in that field are the ones who usually work there. Geisha were widely acknowledged to be masters of becoming what their client wanted. This change of policy meant that Benihime had been sucked into assuming some of Himitsu-okaa-san's official duties so that the elder lady could dedicate more of her time to teaching now that the new term at the academy had begun. The red-headed clone had been officially made atotori, making her second in command and nominally in charge whenever the Okaa-san was absent. The increase in responsibility was something Benihime was working hard at being worthy of and Naruto was beginning to notice how responsibility changed a person. Responsibility for people's health and well-being more than anything else.

There was also the fact that Himitsu-okaa-san was now teaching ninja hopefuls. Naruto pitied them; The Okaa-san was a harsh teacher who demanded nothing less than perfection; her students would have to either get serious or suffer the indignity of being evicted from class.

The second occurrence that had shaped Benihime's workload was the evisceration of ROOT, which had brought in a lot of clients seeking distraction. Most of said customers had very high clearance levels and were badly shaken by what they had learned, regardless of whether they chose to show it. Ibiki had actually been late for one of his appointments, which had been a first.

The third -and to Naruto most significant- incident which had taken place was Benihime's discovery of her own chakra, which she had discovered she could actually mould and manifest. Her reserves were small, but enough to be useful. Her careful forays into using the jutsu Naruto knew revealed a talent for genjutsu that Naruto simply lacked the control for and -thanks to a bit of careful snooping and petty theft- an almost unnaturally high water affinity. What little free time Benihime had was now being spent in expanding and refining her chakra control and genjutsu repertoire, with some additional attention to increasing her ability to manipulate water chakra. The geisha-clone was also incorporating the basics of Moun Satsujin into her Crane taijutsu whenever she practised kata and increasing her physical flexibility.

Naruto personally felt that he was getting the hang of being two people at once, but really didn't want to have to expand his cast unless it was absolutely necessary. How Ame-kaa-san coped with being half-a-dozen people at once he had no idea.

Of course, on the blond's own side of things was his discovery of his obligation to the bijuu in his belly, but he was working on that one. Further inquiry resulted in the discovery that the fox did not want a collection of half-siblings but rather wanted Naruto to 'aquire' genetic material from various men so that it could put together a genome which it could combine with what Naruto had inherited from his mother. The idea of the Kyuubi as a mad scientist bent on creating its own 'super-race' was very hard to get past, especially when the fox had commented on how other demons had done similar things in the past when creating some of the kekkai genkai clans.

Connected to this was the fact that now the jinchuuriki had established contact with his prisoner he was unable to re-establish the original distance between them. True, he could not communicate with it -nor it with him- without entering a trance, but he had become aware of it in a way he had not been before. It was just _present_ in his chakra system now, like a giraffe in the stairwell or a tiger in the kitchen: Large, alien and mesmerising in an 'oh kami what am I supposed to _do_ with it' kind of way. _At least it does come with instructions, although I could do without the superior attitude, jabs at my ignorance and total lack of sympathy._

Naruto pulled his thoughts back to the present as he joined his sensei and team-mates as they walked onto the bridge and set off towards the mainland. Pausing briefly to wave goodbye to Inari -who'd been less bratty after Gatou's defeat- the blond took up rearguard as team seven moved off at a steady jog. A steady shinobi jog that is; by civilian standards it was almost a flat-out sprint.

"What are you going to do once we get back to Konoha, teme?" Naruto asked, just to pass the time.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, then expanded: "Study, practice and make inquiries. You?"

The jinchuuriki smiled a little sadly at Sasuke's new-found maturity. "Study of course, work on my taijutsu and try and bug kaa-san into letting me start on two-bladed combat. Oh, and play with Konohamaru. Little squirt's probably gotten bigheaded while I was away."

Naruto had met the Sandaime's grandson shortly after graduating; more specifically on the day after his second kill and subsequent nervous breakdown. As a result he had been extremely short with the bratty boy, which had somehow resulted in the 'honourable grandson' dubbing him 'oyabun' -boss- and following him around begging for training. The boy's tutor, a tokubetsu jounin whose name Naruto couldn't be bothered to remember -Ibisu? Ebaso?- had been loud and eloquent in his disapproval of the 'fox brat'. Naruto had retaliated -childishly, he'd admit- by teaching the boy his centrefold technique. The eight-year-old had done magnificently, learning both henge and the prank variant in a matter of hours. Interestingly Konohamaru's Orioke had manifested as a reinforced henge rather than the shapeshift that Naruto experienced, despite the handseals being the same. _Interesting, that._

"What have you got planned, Sakura-chan?"

"I have to document my new technique, for starters, as well as do more medical reading; I've barely scratched the surface of how ijutsu can inform genjutsu," Sakura said, breathing a little more heavily than her male team-mates. "Sensei's promised to recommend me to a medic, too, so I can actually learn real ijutsu."

"I will also be giving all of you more theory homework in future," Kakashi-sensei added from his position at the rear of their running formation, nose still buried in his book. "Now you've started taking missions outside the village you will need to brush up on your geography, biology and politics."

"Geography and politics I understand, Sensei, but why politics?" The kunoichi asked.

"The plants and animals of a region are just as important as its terrain," the jounin chided her. "A lot of poisonous and venomous species are endemic to specific areas, and it does you no good to henge into an animal as a disguise if that animal is not native to the area you happen to be in, does it?"

Sakura winced."Gomen, Sensei. I didn't think it through."

"Better ask now than make mistakes in the field," Naruto offered. "How long will it be until we reach the village, Kakashi-sensei?"

The jounin somehow managed to shrug while running, eye never leaving his little orange book. "Tomorrow around noon, provided we stop for the night."

_Perfectly acceptable timing. I might even be able to get ramen for lunch._

_

* * *

_

Naruto was overjoyed to finally be able to sense the shimmering mirage-like dome of chakra that was Konoha's external defensive barrier. Kakashi-sensei had spent the entire morning teaching them to run silently -it involved a lot of bending the knees to absorb shocks- and had refused to let them take so much as a two-minute bathroom break. Anyone answering a call of nature had to either run on ahead to do so or catch up from behind. When Sakura, being the least physically disciplined, had started to get sloppy the jounin had lightly clipped her around the head with his book and calmly reminded her to 'behave professionally in the field'. All three of them had taken the warning to heart and not slacked off in the slightest after that.

The blond jinchuuriki really wished he could warn his sensei of what would undoubtedly be waiting for the jounin in the village, but to do so would compromise his secrets. Secrets that, while not strictly illegal, were certainly questionable. So Naruto said nothing at all as the four of them approached the main gates of the village hidden in the leaves, his mind churning wildly with all the myriad ways this could go.

They were joined at the front gate by an ANBU in a bear mask; not a bloodline user, Naruto noted with interest, but powerful.

"Based on the preliminary report sent ahead, team seven will be debriefed by the T&I Department in the lower offices of the Hokage's tower," the animal-masked shinobi said briskly. "Uzumaki and Uchiha will accompany me. Hatake-san, please escort Haruno to office zero-point two-three."

"Hai, hai," Kakashi-sensei agreed amiably, slight tension cording his neck and shoulders under his mask as he pocketed his book and gripped Sakura's shoulder. "Hold on tight." Sensei and kunoichi vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto was about to ask exactly _who_ from the T&I Department they were going to be interrogated by -_'debriefed' my tenant's fuzzy behind_- when a gloved hand gripped his upper arm and there was a sudden sensation on intense speed. Next thing the blond knew they were in a gloomy corridor that he recognised as being several floors below ground level under the Hokage's Tower.

"Uchiha Sasuke, this room is gamma-twelve. Within is one of Konoha's highest ranking information specialists. Your mission was nominally B-class, but deemed S-class due to potential political repercussions. You will answer all questions completely and honestly. Understood?" Naruto got the impression that the ANBU wasn't impressed with Sasuke's status as the 'Last Uchiha' or the fact that the younger boy was supposedly a genius.

"Hai. Bear-san." Sasuke bowed stiffly.

"Then enter."

Sasuke opened the door and walked in. Naruto caught a glimpse of Yamanaka Inoichi sitting inside. _Oh crap. S-class indeed, to have him called in when he's supposed to be retired. Which means the one asking my questions is probably going to be Scarface. Dammit._

"Naruto, follow me."

Naruto trotted after him. "Ano, no offence intended Bear-san, but why are you calling me by my name and not my surname like you did with Sasuke?"

The ANBU's eyes seemed to gleam through the eyeholes of his mask. "You have led my men on many a merry chase all over this village, exposing numerous holes in the security protocols as you went, Naruto-_kun_. I believe I have earned the right to dispense with the tedious formalities."

_Eep_. Naruto swallowed hard. _Bear-san is an ANBU captain? What kami have I offended this time? Inari protect me from potentially vengeful elite shinobi._

"Kakashi-san's report states that you made use of your burden, which was witnessed and recognised by the Uchiha. Neither of you will be punished for that, the law notwithstanding, however it makes any and all information pertaining to your mission S-classed and confidential," the ANBU captain went on, leading Naruto down a corridor, across an intersection and down some stairs. "In the interests on maintaining village security Morino-san will be debriefing you."

Naruto gulped. _Yep, Scarface. I'm doomed. Doomed!_

"Amemai-san however requested I remind you that you are not required to explain to Morino-san what she has been teaching you of clan hijutsu, either her own or that of the Uzumaki's," the masked nin went on, voice tinged with irritation. "How she found out about this is beyond me."

"I believe it relates to her kekkai genkai, Bear-taicho. At least she isn't your mother; I can't hide anything from her at all," Naruto commiserated.

"Hm; perhaps. We have arrived."

Naruto stared at the door labelled epsilon-five. "Do I have to?"

"Aa," Bear drawled, amusement colouring his tone. "Now move."

Naruto pushed the door open, crushed his trepidation into the smallest ball he could manage and went in.

* * *

atotori = heir to a geisha okaa-san's okiya

orioke = centrefold

hijutsu = secret techniques; specifically clan-specific secret techniques

A/N: That's the Wave Arc completely finished now. There will be a few chapters to fill in the time until the Chunnin exam arc, which is two months ahead, plot-wise. Before that Ame will be giving birth and the Kamen kids plus carers will be arriving in Konoha. Oh, and Kakashi will get serious in training his team. Hehehehe! oh and hi there invisible-gurl, thanks for the review. Bad Habits, you'll note I've clarified Naruto's obligations in this chapter. Thanks for pointing out the lack of clarity there. Naruto will probably settle down with a nice girl eventually, but he's going to have FUN before then. Lots of it, kitsune style.


	41. Sasuke: Interpretation

**Sasuke: Interpretation**

Uchiha Sasuke had done a great deal of thinking since Amemai-san had freed his mind from the clinging fog of subconscious terror that had smothered him since the massacre. His early observations had revolved around how much easier it was to think and reason clearly. This egocentric rambling had been derailed by his first kill, but training in Nami no kuni had given him time to reconstruct his world-view from the ground up.

His first decision was that he would leave the puzzle that was Uchiha Itachi to Amemai-san and Konoha's oinin: they were better placed to deal with the confusingly contradictory enigma than he was.

His second decision hinged on his -rather enlightened- awareness of being somewhat lacking in moral decency, which when he thought about it had been a shortcoming of the Uchiha clan in general. Rather than ignore this mental void he was determined to take cues from Naruto -who was ridiculously hung-up on doing the right thing for a shinobi- or just follow the blond's lead.

Eyeing Inoichi-san cautiously as he sat down opposite the interrogation specialist, Sasuke recalled on offhand comment Naruto had made during an Academy lecture on obeying superior officers:

"Never lie to the people further up the food chain than you are," the blond had muttered, "they're better at it than you are and have been doing it for longer." Good advice, Sasuke knew: Kakashi's ridiculous yet apparently truthful excuses had hammered the lesson home. The Uchiha stared at the father of one of his more obnoxious fangirls:

"Ask your questions, Yamanaka-san."

The blond jounin gave him an uncomfortably assessing stare. "Tell me about your mission, Uchiha-san."

"Where would you like me to start, Yamanaka-san?"

"When you received the mission statement, if you please Uchiha-san."

The meticulous formality was starting to make Sasuke twitchy. He couldn't believe he'd never noticed how much the Yamanaka patriarch disliked him until now. _Is this because of Ino's obsession with me? That's hardly fair; it's not like I encourage it or take advantage of her idiocy._ He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and began: "Sakura wanted to hear more about Amemai-san, whom Naruto addressed as 'kaa-san' -and admitted to being engaged to Kakashi-sensei- so all three of us went down to the bridge in training ground seven so we could talk in private. Naruto told us..."

Inoichi interrupted at intervals to ask questions or demand clarification; he was interested in Amemai-san's breaking of Tsukiyomi, the symbols both his sensei and the dobe had on their clothing the next day and how the Demon Brothers had been dispatched. That last one still made him slightly queasy to remember. _I don't think I'll ever be able to really appreciate barbecue properly again._

"Was that your first kill?"

"Hai. Naruto talked me through it." Admitting that was embarrassing, but at least he didn't have to confess to throwing up. And the dobe had helped him, which was more than he could say for some people.

"Do you believe Naruto had killed before?"

Sasuke was acutely aware that the answer to this question could be used against his jinchuuriki team-mate. "His behaviour was appropriately professional for a shinobi and the talk he gave me on the unfortunate inevitability of death and killing while in the service of Konoha was both logical and helpful. I do know he lives in a bad part of town."

That potentially sticky situation evaded to the best of his eleven-year-old ability, the conversation moved on. He had to describe the fight with Zabuza three times and give his reasons for following Naruto's lead twice.

"His ideas were concise, practical and easily achieved, Inoichi-san. Naruto excels at working on the fly; Sakura is prone to over-thinking things, which is dangerous in the field, and Kakashi-sensei tells me I am too single-minded for efficient strategy. Naruto was the best choice as he is the only one with tactical field experience."

"Tactical field experience?"

"Pranks," Sasuke said flatly. "You've seen them; he escapes ANBU more often than not nowadays. Tactical field experience."

The seal perimeter also caught the Yamanaka's interest, as did Naruto's abysmal chakra control and the whisker-marked genin's explanation for it. His description of the blond's brief temper tantrum also elicited further inquiry.

Sasuke paused for a drink to wet his abused throat -he couldn't remember ever talking this much before- after describing his first encounter with Haku and what little he had seen of Momochi Zabuza and watched Inoichi-san shuffle through his notes and annotate here and there.

"Yamanaka-san?"

"Hai, Sasuke?"

"Will we be punished for our part in this? It was mentioned that we should have returned to Konoha after encountering the Demon Brothers."

"Probably not, since by all accounts you were not truly endangered beyond that initial incident and your actions have garnered Konoha a new ally and many more potential customers," Inoichi conceded. "Why do you ask?"

"I was concerned that someone might use this incident against my team-mate; Naruto is a brilliant ninja and I don't see why he should be so horribly discriminated against when all he really wants is to serve the village to the best of his ability," Sasuke responded evenly, wanting his position in the matter to be completely beyond doubt.

"Do you have evidence to back up your accusation?"

"I have eyes, Yamanaka-san,as well as ears," Sasuke stated calmly. "Shall I continue my debriefing?"

"Please do."

The interrogation continues smoothly until Naruto's short exposé on bijuu, which he had to go over several times so Inoichi could be sure he had it all down correctly. Sasuke got the impression that Naruto knew more than even the hokage in that particular area, which made him wonder where the blond had learned it. The carnage he had witnessed in the village at the hands of berserk-Naruto also had to be dissected and repeated, but it was his description of the twelve-foot chakra fox that made the jounin blanch in horror.

"_How_ big?"

Sasuke pulled a loose sheet of paper across the table, fumbled in his kunai pouch for a pen and roughly sketched what he had seen, Naruto curled up in the creature's ribcage for scale. "That big," he said, pushing the picture back across the table. "It wasn't randomly flailing around like Naruto did when he went berserk, though. It dispatched all the surviving bandits in minutes then just stopped."

"Stopped?"

"Curled up in the village square and ignored everyone except me and Kakashi-sensei."

"When did Hatake-san arrive on the scene?"

Inoichi also looked troubled at the idea of Naruto having made some kind of bargain with the Kyuubi, but Sasuke wasn't too concerned. Naruto was to moral to do evil just to access the bijuu's power, especially since the blond seemed to have power to burn even without it. It was Naruto's comment on Madara having used Kyuubi to attack Konoha that was upsetting to the young Uchiha; Sasuke couldn't shake the feeling that it was somehow significant. It was also rather nasty and told him more about the sharingan's shady past than he wanted to know. Naruto's offhand comment of how Sasuke felt to his chakra-sense did not set any of that unease to rest, either. _'Feels like something malevolent on the edge of my range, watching me,' is not exactly a comforting description of a kekkai genkai._

"Naruto's... condition doesn't bother you?"

Sasuke frowned blackly at the question. "That the Yondaime condemned my team-mate to a lifetime of fear, hatred and discrimination? Of course it does. But that's hardly Naruto's fault. It's the idiots who think it's a good idea to antagonise the person with the all-powerful chakra construct sealed behind his navel gate that I have issues with. That's just as dumb as my father was when he accused Itachi of all that stupid stuff back when he was an ANBU captain."

"What 'stupid stuff', exactly?" Inoichi asked, his demeanour shifting like a shark smelling blood.

Sasuke hadn't meant to say that out loud. He'd never been properly debriefed after the massacre, mainly because everyone thought they knew what had happened already and he couldn't start talking about it without being dragged back into Tsukiyomi. He'd only really started processing what had happened in the past few weeks since Amemai-san's intervention.

"Uchiha Fugaku accused Uchiha Itachi of 'being less than suitably loyal to your clan, disobeying orders and attracting unnecessary attention to yourself'," Sasuke quoted carefully, his tone unconsciously mimicking his father's biting fury. "The Military Police had been trying to bring Itachi in for questioning concerning cousin Shisui's suicide, but he went all to pieces and accused the police officers of treason and dereliction of duty. His eyes slipped into mangekyou then, but I think I was the only one to see that."

Inoichi looked intrigued. "so his snapping was not as unanticipated as was made out at the time?"

"He'd been a bit off for at least a month and working all hours for longer than that," Sasuke admitted. "I was worried about him: He looked sick."

Inoichi shook his head. "Too much stress will push even the most balanced shinobi into insanity. Anyway, that seems to be everything. I will escort you back to ground level so you can leave. Make sure you get some rest after your ordeal."

"Could you get your daughter to stop harassing me before I'm forced to take legal action?"

Inoichi looked indignant. Sasuke cringed. He really, really hadn't meant to say that out loud either.

"Sorry Yamanaka-san, but she does try to jump me every single time she sees me. After the past few weeks I've had I might harm her by accident, which wouldn't go down well at all. And I really am not interested in anything except training at the moment. Girls are just... annoying. I really hate how unprofessional their behaviour is."

The jounin relaxed slightly. "I understand; I do remember being eleven and thinking girls were an unwelcome irritant."

Sasuke smiled faintly. "Naruto's mature enough to notice girls, but he's almost two years older than I am."

"Oh?"

Sasuke shrugged. "He does that quick once-over thing every time he sees someone new, but it's slightly slower on women and ninja than civilian men, elders and children." The Uchiha paused. "He also mentioned kabuki training when I asked him about his female disguise. How did I forget that?"

"Kabuki? Onna-gata?" Inoichi murmured as they made their way up to ground level. "What an _interesting_ idea..."

* * *

A/N: A bit of insight into the new and improved Sasuke and some more hints about the massacre. I have a short glimpse into what really happened with Shisui in the works, as he is actually quite important to my AU; his impact on Itachi is signficant. It isn't really connected to anything, though, so I'd have to make it a one-shot. Anyone interested?


	42. Naruto: Friendship

**Naruto: Friendship**

Naruto finally escaped Ibiki's probing questions and assessing stares at about five o'clock in the afternoon and immediately made a beeline for the ramen stand to soothe his tattered nerves. Ibiki in 'work mode' was absolutely terrifying, even if you knew he wasn't going to lay so much as a finger on you.

Strangely, Sakura was sitting on one of the stools at Ichiraku's, swinging her feet aimlessly as she gossiped with Ayame-chan.

"Naruto!" Ayame said cheerily as the blond climbed up onto a stool next to his kunoichi team-mate. "Sakura was just telling me about your escort mission. Here," she pushed a large bowl of beef ramen across the counter, "on the house. We have family in Wave."

"Arigatou, Ayame-chan!" Naruto said brightly, glancing sideways at Sakura as he snapped his chopsticks apart. "Itadakimasu!"

As the blond devoured his noodles as quickly as was politely possible -faster than one would think- he listened to the cover story Sakura was weaving. It was straightforward, but different: Zabuza had incapacitated Kakashi trying to get at Tazuna, but had been equally injured. Five days later the horde of goons had ambushed the freshly recovered Kakashi plus Sasuke and Naruto at the bridge while Sakura defended the house from a minor incursion. All the bandits had been defeated, the bridge had been finished and they had come home.

No mention was made of Naruto's seals or berserker abilities, Haku had been dropped from the tale completely and Zabuza never made a repeat appearance. Naruto approved: the story was tidy, with enough loose ends to be realistic.

"So what happened to Gatou?" Ayame asked.

"Zabuza killed him," Naruto suggested. "I heard some of the thugs talking about it. Maybe he tried to take the nukenin out while he was injured or something. We never saw him."

Sakura nodded, clearly adding Naruto's conclusion to their cover story. _Again, tidy but not overly so._

Naruto finished his bowl of noodles with an appreciative slurp and tipped the last of the broth down his throat. "That was wonderful ramen, Ayame-chan. As soon as we get paid for this mission I'll come back for more, believe it!" the blond slid off his stool and set off towards the Hatake clan grounds. He wanted to see kaa-san.

"Ja ne, Naruto-kun!" Ayame called after him.

"Naruto! Wait up!" The blond paused and turned around.

"What is it, Sakura-chan?"

"I..." the kunoichi wilted a little. "Nobody likes you, do they?"

Naruto shuffled his feet. Sakura was highly intelligent but amazingly unobservant. He honestly hadn't believed she'd ever notice.

"I don't care what they think," the pinkette said firmly. "You're my team-mate, you're teaching me all kinds of cool stuff and Sasuke listens to you. So I don't care what your clan secrets are; we're in this together."

Naruto smiled, his first ever genuine smile in Sakura's presence. "Arigatou, Sakura-chan." He paused. "What brought this on?"

Sakura looked around shiftily. "Er, I got interrogated by a jounin that just _had_ to be Shikamaru's dad about the mission. He warned me you were dangerous, so I pointed out that Kakashi-sensei was more dangerous and he'd been given pretty much carte blanche to teach us. He didn't push it after I said that. Then I went home and my parents told me you were dangerous and untrustworthy and I shouldn't be alone with you, which is stupid. So I got in an argument with them and stormed out of the house. I was hanging around the ramen stand hoping you'd come by since there is no way in hell I'm going home again now." She paused. "I trust you. I'm a better ninja thanks to you and Sensei and Sasuke doesn't look at me like I'm a waste of space anymore."

Naruto blinked. "D'you want to come and visit my kaa-san with me? She'd be happy to host you for dinner, or even stay the night. It isn't like there's a shortage of guest rooms at her place. If not I know plenty of geisha who wouldn't mind putting you up for the night."

Sakura, proper civilian-raised girl that she was, looked scandalised. "Geisha! How do you know geisha?"

Naruto winced at the shriek. "I'm an orphan and most people hate me, Sakura-chan. The geisha are some of the few that don't. They even taught me to read, count and write."

Sakura's wrath collapsed in on itself. "Oh. Gomen, Naruto."

"It's okay. You weren't to know."

"I've never met geisha," Sakura offered tentatively as they continued down the road, "what are they like?"

"Beautiful, well-mannered and highly educated in all things feminine and cultured," Naruto told her. "They know a lot about people and politics and more of the ladylike stuff than I realised existed. Sandaime-sama is hiring geisha to teach infiltration skills at the Academy now. I doubt they'll be able to cram it all into three years though."

"How do you know?"

"They taught me some of it; not much else to do in an okiya when you're seven. I have minarai traing: Minarai are what the geisha call those receiving training who are not old enough or skilled enough to become maiko and receive specialised training. I could blend into the serving staff at any fancy gathering in the elemental countries if I needed to."

"That sounds very useful to know."

"It is; the house okaa-san was a slave-driver though. I pity the Academy students learning from her. If you're interested in learning more, kaa-san was a geisha before she got engaged to Kakashi-sensei so she might teach you some of the unrestricted stuff."

Sakura grimaced. "I've already agreed to ijutsu training on top of the everyday stuff Sensei makes us do. Where would I find time for more?"

"In the evenings?" Naruto offered. "I do extra taijutsu, fuuinjutsu and kenjutsu on top of the everyday stuff." -_Never mind that I use shadow clones to fit the fuuinjutsu into what little time I have-_ "The sooner we reach chuunin level the less likely we are to die."

"Point," Sakura conceded with a sigh. "Will you help me integrate those bracers we got off the Demon Brothers into my taijutsu while we wait for sensei in the mornings? He's always at least half an hour late.

"Sure;" Naruto shrugged, "taijutsu only though. Your genjutsu's getting vicious."

"It's about time you noticed it," the kunoichi retorted smugly. "Learning ijutsu is just going to enhance that. I'm taking your advice there, might I add."

"Aww," Naruto whined, making puppy-dog eyes at his pinkette team-mate, "doctors are scaaary. Honestly though," he added seriously, "You're getting very good."

"I know," she said smugly. "Not as good as you yet, but damn good in my own right. Even Sasuke admits _you're_ good."

Naruto found it funny that, while Sakura was finally getting serious about training to be real kunoichi, she still considered Sasuke a higher authority than Kakashi-sensei.

* * *

A/N: Ibiki's interview with Naruto is non-essential at this point, but may make an appearance later. Look, more Sakura! She's still rather girly but she's not living in her own little fantasy world as much as she used to. I'm working on a Shisui one-shot that is essentially backstory at the moment: It will be a stand-alone rather than part of Odds, Ends and Outtakes.


	43. Interlude: Shikamaru

**Interlude: Shikamaru**

Nara Shikamaru knew he was the most intelligent genin in his age-group, possibly his entire generation; he was also the laziest. Why put in extra effort when you can plan out the path of least resistance? As an Academy student he had done just enough to pass and graduate and would have been dead-last had Uzumaki Naruto not remained a consistent five marks above the fail boundary.

After graduation his life hadn't really changed: Azuma-sensei played shogi with him, Ino yelled at him for being a lazy bum and Chouji talked to him and ate crisps. Azuma also supervised them on D-rank missions and the regular daily teamwork exercises, but beyond that he just let them do whatever.

Shikamaru had spent a disproportionate amount of time thinking about Naruto. This was a habit he'd picked up in his final year at the Academy and been unable to quit; the blond was troublesome. Not as offensively so as Ino, perhaps, but in more subtle and pervasive ways.

Naruto's written work was always exactly five marks above the fail boundary, regardless of the nature of the assignment.

Naruto was far, far better at taijutsu than his grades suggested.

Naruto's pranks had only gotten flamboyantly outlandish after that one time with the bucket of confetti that Iruka-sensei had almost laughed at.

Naruto watched everyone and noticed more than anyone would credit him for.

Cheerful, clutzy, thick-as-two-short-planks Naruto was a mask for watchful, smart, slyly humorous Naruto.

Naruto wore the eye-wateringly orange jumpsuit just to irritate the Academy chunnin. Shikamaru had only realised _that_ after graduating, as the blond had not worn the offending clothing since.

Naruto was an enigma, obscured by a mirage and screened by camouflage material. The lazy Nara could tell that the blond had depths and layers, but had decided early on that investigating them would be too troublesome for words.

It still bothered him though; all his other year-mates were so straightforward they were boring.

"Shikamaru."

The black-haired boy turned away from the clouds he had been watching, his stubby ponytail making his head look like a pineapple. "Tou-san?"

Nara Shikaku, an older, more scarred version of his only son, walked closer and sat down on the grass with a sigh. "How well do you know team seven, sochi?"

Shikamaru turned his attention back to the clouds. "Sasuke and Sakura are both obsessed and Naruto is troublesome."

"Troublesome how exactly?"

Shikamaru glanced at his father. "The Naruto at the academy was a front: he's smarter than that and he fixed his grades. The instructors never graded his taijutsu fairly either but he was second in the class after the Uchiha. Same with throwing weapons."

"Do you think he's dangerous?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Only to Konoha's enemies; Naruto's so loyal it's ridiculous. He was always picking at Sasuke, trying to get him to stop wallowing in misery."

"Anything specific worth noting?"

"He understands girls," Shikamaru offered, "and has unbelievably beautiful calligraphy. Sharp mimic, wicked sense of humour, more subtle than you'd think. Goes out of his way to play the fool and make people underestimate him."

"Really?"

"Nobody could possibly be as dumb as he acts yet pull off such elaborate and successful pranks. Remember the 'Kabuki Hokages'?"

Shikaku chuckled at the memory of the attractively decorated hokage monument, then looked thoughtful. "True; there was a lot of well-though-out symbolism there. I think most people were too outraged by the fact that the Yondaime was some kind of demon and the Shodaime was in drag to read the more subtle nuances though. Personally I did think the Nidaime made an excellent water dragon."

"It was a reference to a real kabuki play," Shikamaru said quietly, "I looked it up. It's about a demon who tried to force the daughter of Ryuujin into marrying him. A human samurai heard the princess weeping as she was being led to the priest, killed the demon and returned the girl to her father. Ryuujin in return blessed the samurai with long life and the princess' hand in marriage." He paused, "The demon was the lord of Discord, called Namikaze, the samurai was Sanzaru no Hiruzen, or Hiruzen of the Three Monkeys. One of Ryuujin's titles is 'Senju', for his great length and many subordinates."

Shikaku stared into space, eyes glazed over for a minute. "Huh. How poetic." He looked thoughtful. "And fairly obscure; I doubt a play where the villain is called 'Namikaze' would be popular in Konoha. Then again, most civilians never knew his name in the first place. He was the Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou and became the Yondaime hokage. Very few people remember he was once just another jounin."

Shikamaru didn't bother to comment.

"So, smart, secretive, well-educated, stealthy and with a proper grounding in the ninja arts," Shikaku said. "anything else?"

"Poor chakra control and a lot of chakra."

"How do you know that?"

"He overloads the bunshin jutsu every single time," Shikamaru said. "I told him to use less chakra but he literally can't. It made me wonder why it was in the exam, since I told Mizuki-sensei what his problem was."

"Mizuki was arrested for treason the night after the genin exams," Shikaku admitted.

"So that's why Naruto got his hitai-ite despite apparently failing; I'd wondered."

There was a long, companionable silence as the two Nara men lay on their backs and watched the clouds drift by.

"Tou-san?"

"Hai?"

"Why do the civilians and a good third of the village's ninja dislike Naruto?"

"Good question."

_That is not an answer; it is an evasion. Do you not agree with that dislike then, tou-san?_ "I ask because the only reason for Naruto to hide is skills is out of distrust. He didn't trust the Academy sensei to grade his abilities fairly and still doesn't trust the village enough to reveal his true self to them."

"Konoha has rather let him down," the Nara jounin mused, "all things considered."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes but said nothing. _Understatement!_

* * *

After dinner that evening Shikamaru overheard his father talking to his own former team-mates, Akiminchi Chouza and Yamanaka Inoichi. The pineapple-headed genin paused by the edge of the shouji door to listen:

"... is dangerous, Shikaku. You know that; you _saw_ the damn thing! It killed my sister!"

"The boy is not the beast, Chouza, any more than a storage scroll is the kunai it contains." That was Inoichi, calm and rational as ever. "Do you truly have such little faith in the Yondaime's skill?"

"Jiraiya visited two months ago and pronounced the seal sound and solid enough to last for another fifteen years. Since it only needs to last ten to render the beast harmless, I'd say he overdid it," Shikaku drawled.

"It _mocks_ me, Shikaku! That smirk as it walks down the street, acting as if it has done nothing wrong-"

"He _has_ done nothing wrong, Chouza," Inoichi interrupted, voice like tempered steel. "He no more deserves your enmity than Anko does for the actions of Orochimaru. Less than that, even. The boy has not the faintest idea of why you hate him so and deserves none of it. Had he not been sacrificed to protect us all many more would have died. Would you have offered your then-week-old niece to take his place, Chouza?"

Shikamaru quietly escaped to his bedroom, the small sounds of his passage masked by the Akiminchi's furious spluttering. _So what was that all about? Chouza's orphaned niece is, hm, a little under a year older than I am: born October second. A week after she was born would be..._

_October tenth. Kyuubi. They spoke of sealing, the container being different to the contained, so it follows that the Yondaime sealed it within someone. A baby boy, by the sound of it. One Chouza hates because the bijuu was responsible for his sister's death._

_If Chouza hates the jinchuuriki, I sincerely doubt he is the only one to be blinded by his emotions in this matter. He would be nearly thirteen years old by now, so..._

… _Uzumaki Naruto. Of course; this explains everything. I see. No wonder you hide yourself away. I will keep this to myself until such a time as we can speak together in private. For this to have been kept hidden from my generation would require a law, one with severe repercussions, and I do not want to get either of us into trouble._

Shikamaru lay back on his futon and stared blindly at the ceiling. _This is so very troublesome indeed._

* * *

sochi = son_  
_

A/N: A very minor interlude. Shikamaru is certainly smart enough to work out that Naruto is the Kyuubi jinchuuriki should he actually be bothered. The chunnin exam arc will start somewhere around chapter 52, possibly slightly later if thinks continue according to schedule. I'm having far too much fun writing this.

A/N2: On a side note, the one-shot involving Shisui is written. I've titled it 'Shisui's Sacrifice' and published it on my profile. Let me know what you think; it is technically backstory.


	44. Kakashi: Changes

**Kakashi: Changes**

The morning after team seven's return to Konohagakure from Wave country Kakashi got up early, had a quick breakfast and went outside to sit under one of the cherry trees in the soft dawn light. A great deal had happened while he was away that he needed to process.

Firstly, his fiancée had orchestrated Shimura Danzou's arrest on treason charges -among other things- and commandeered his ROOT division in its entirety for her own uses. The Hatake mansion now had a large barracks situated behind the main house and anonymous masked ninja came and went at all hours. Ame supposedly spent several hours each day putting them through deprogramming and rehabilitation, but Kakashi knew that only so much was possible for people as damaged as that. Plus the idea of Ame having what amounted to her own private army -however much he trusted and loved her- made him uneasy.

Secondly, the family member who had come to set a date for the wedding -ten days after the end of the second part of the chunnin exams- was none other than the jinchuuriki of the Gobi. The copy-nin was rather unsettled by having to share his home with someone who had fought for Iwa during the third shinobi war, but grudgingly recognised that neither he nor Han had had much choice in the matter. The Red Insanity was very large, very quiet and wore white garments that concealed his entire body and face, leaving only the area around his eyes uncovered. Kakashi recognised the silence of the uncomfortably-out-of-place and had let the man be. Over dinner the previous evening Ame had managed to get the former Rock nin to open up a little, but the conversation had remained in the 'safe' area of taijutsu styles and their strengths and weaknesses rather than anything remotely personal.

Thirdly and most nerve-rackingly for Kakashi was that the triplets in Ame's womb had turned, meaning that birth was immanent. Not tomorrow-immanent, but probably within the next month. His koi had gotten very large in the two-and-a-half weeks he'd been away and a lot moodier. In fact she had burst into tears as soon as Kakashi had walked through the front door of the mansion and hugged him tightly with tears running down her face, which had been confusing. After her outburst she had explained that this kind of behaviour was fairly normal given her advanced stage of pregnancy, but that hadn't made dealing with the aftermath of the short breakdown any less stressful.

The copy-nin sighed and stared up through the canopy above him at the pale blue sky, letting what tension that had survived the night drift away to the sound of birdsong. _Concentrate on the positive._

_A wedding date has finally been set, and at a time when most of Konoha's ninja will be in and around the village. Most if not all of those I consider friends will therefore be able to attend._

_All the former ROOT shinobi -did she call them yuurei?- will be helping to keep her and the children safe. Their fanatical loyalty seems to have transferred neatly from Danzou to my dearest Ame-koi._

_Han is much, much saner than I remember him being described as and considers himself Ame-chan's associate. Or more precisely an associate of her foster-father, whom she calls 'Aniki-tou-san' of all things. I wonder who that is; she's been very secretive of his true identity. I only know that he has a kekkai genkai and is technically a samurai, which is a __fairly unusual combination. Said guardian also has a twin brother -'Aniki-ji-san'- who also has a kekkai genkai and is a ninja. Oh, and they are both in their mid thirties, since they are fourteen years older than Ame herself and she is a few months shy of being twenty._

_The orphans she cares for will arrive before the wedding but hopefully after the birth; probably around the same time as the teams attending the chunnin exams or a little sooner. Although the idea of thirteen more children running around the place fills me with trepidation, Ame assures me that one of them is fifteen and one of the caretakers to the younger twelve. She also assured me that the next oldest three -and quite possibly the three after that- would be entering the Academy practically on arrival. That means that only six of them would be young enough to be underfoot all the time. Add on that the other two so-called 'designated carers' Ame applied for permits for and I probably won't be overexposed to totally uncontrollable small children not my own._

_And best of all, I am actually going to be a father soon. I'm not sure whether I should celebrate or panic, so I'm just going to let it be. I do look forward to the challenge though; parenting is not something I've ever attempted before._

Kakashi sighed happily, closing his eye as the first rays of morning son burned through the dawn mist to penetrate the leafy canopy above him. He fully intended to enter team seven in the chunnin exams which were being held in Konoha barely two months ahead. Despite their relative inexperience they had all killed already, which set them ahead of the rest of their age-group. All three were determined and driven to succeed, whatever their reasons, so he saw no reason to hold them back from promotion. Most ninja never made it past chunnin or tokubetsu jounin, so it was best to get them through the exams as soon as humanly possible so they could gain real field experience and choose their own area to specialise in. _I truly believe all of team seven will make it to jounin level though. They are exceptional shinobi._

Deciding to put them through the chunnin exams however meant that he would have to spent the time up until then making sure they really had what it took to make it to the final round, be it knowledge, strength or cunning.

_Naruto is easy: he needs chakra control and a few more ninjutsu. Possibly elemental ninjutsu since he has power to burn and uses shadow clones in bulk. Sakura has chosen to concentrate on ijutsu and genjutsu, niether of which I can really help her with, but her taijutsu still needs honing. She also needs to learn to follow orders. Hm. She also needs to keep up her nawanuke and learn as much chi-mon as can be crammed into her skull. That should be sufficient._

_Sasuke... tough one. I'll need to up his ninja-to training and teach him how to make full use of his sharingan. I can probably do those simultaneously, for efficiency's sake. I'll make him run laps around the village, too, since Uchiha are built with speed in mind. With weights on; Naruto can keep him company in that. His genjutsu's adequate, he can pick up and perfect his own ninjutsu now and he can spar more with Sakura and Naruto to keep his taijutsu progressing. With chi-mon in his own time, of course._

Decisions made, the copy-nin wandered back into the house to pick up a new volume of the orange-jacketed books Ame had set out for him in the study. He had his own shelf, which was gradually filling up with little volumes with deceptively decorated covers. He grabbed the nearest new one -Fooling the Brain: lighting-natured genjutsu- and set out, unmindful of the fact that it was half-past five in the morning and the only people up were either a) working; or b) Maito Gai. His dear students had had the previous afternoon off -debriefings didn't count- and needed to get used to the occasional early morning. _Besides, unpredictability is much more fun than habitual tardiness. Why irritate them when you can screw with their heads?_

He woke Sakura first, since she had actually been invited to stay the night in the Hatake compound by Ame, almost getting concussed by a flying fist before the kunoichi realised who he was. Leaving his mortified female student to dress and eat something the jounin went looking for Sasuke.

The Uchiha was deeply unimpressed by his usually tardy sensei's early-bird impression but nonetheless got moving. That achieved -the black-haired brat had surprisingly good security for a genin- Kakashi went looking for Naruto.

As it turned out the copy-nin did indeed have enough chakra to get through the jinchuuriki's security seal perimeter. He had not however expected to find two Naruto-clones already up and about, one cooking rice and chopping vegetables and the other taking notes from a fuuinjutsu manual.

"Ohayo sensei," the clone writing notes said distractedly. "Oyabun will be up in twenty minutes, tops. Don't bother talking to the kitchen-clone; it can't speak."

"How come?"

"Boss is experimenting. The guy in the kitchen has no imagination and a very low IQ: it can only just follow instructions. But on the plus side it is very physically resilient indeed. The original uses that type for chores, as punching bags and for target practice. They take six or more hits before dispelling and their low mental capacity makes the rebound far less painful."

"How different is their chakra intake?"

"Grunts or drones, as boss calls them, do use less chakra, but not much less. The chakra goes into enhancing physical density rather than creating a true copy, which results in mental retardation. Certain parts of the clones' brains -mainly the bits used in vocal articulation and higher level processing- are subsequently stunted. They aren't smart enough to work independently; they can't even achieve disobedience," the seated clone explained, eyes never leaving its work. "I'm a normal, fragile clone so please don't burst me. I've got enough chakra for another six hours and we need to get this book finished."

"Well Naruto needs to be up now rather than soon so I'm going to make that happen," Kakashi drawled, ambling over towards the bedroom.

"Throw something and he'll be vertical in seconds," the clone called after him.

The jounin took the kage bunshin's advice and threw a kunai into the wall to the right of the sleeping blond's head. As promised Naruto was upright, armed and searching for his assailant in under two seconds flat.

"We're starting early today," Kakashi said cheerfully as soon as the whisker-marked jinchuuriki recognised him and lowered the kunai. "Training ground seven in fifteen minutes; bring everything with you."

"Why?" the blond yawned, stumbling towards the bathroom.

"Intensive training," the jounin said vaguely. "Oh, and have your clones make enough bentos for everyone; we won't be stopping for lunch." He shunshined out, but not before hearing the clone sitting at the dining table mutter,

"Asshole."

Kakashi was tempted to go back in and pop the impertinent chakra construct, but decided against it. The bunshin was at least studying.

His students roused, the jounin made straight for the shinobi library and browsed the section open to everyone in the Academy or above. It was ironically the least used section, since it contained nothing at all pertaining to chakra other than theoretical studies and control exercises. The jutsu library was restricted to genin level and higher, but only contained E, D and C-ranked jutsu.

Kakashi found several large, dull and comprehensive volumes including the geology of the elemental nations, the botany of Fire, Grass, Waterfall and other minor nations, a compendium of species endemic to Lightning and a very thick one on the birds, reptiles and marine wildlife of the various archipelagos that made up Water country. There were entire shelves full of similar texts, so his genin would not be running out of study material any time soon.

He added the books to his tab, informed the early-shift librarian that his students would be coming in and out often -_so don't you dare keep Naruto out_ being fairly clear subtext, almost to the point of being text- and sealed the volumes away in a scroll for ease of transport. That achieved, he set off for training ground seven.

By the time the copy-nin reached the little bridge where he usually met his team all three genin were already there, looking grumpy but sufficiently alert for not long past six in the morning.

"Greetings, my cute little students!" Kakashi said brightly. "Since you appear to have _finally_ grasped the importance of proper teamwork I am going to make sure you never, ever forget it. It is now ten minutes past six; provided you are _all_ still free and mobile at ten you will be granted individual tutoring in the fields you are best suited to. I will be hunting you down while you try and stay away from me, and should one of you lose you will _all_ be doing nothing but endurance exercises. If you survive of course. What are you waiting for?"

Sasuke and Naruto each grabbed one of Sakura's arms and fled with her for the trees, the blond leaving half-a-dozen shadow clones in his wake to stall the jounin. Kakashi grinned evilly; it was on.

* * *

When ten o'clock finally arrived Kakashi was sore, tattered and slightly queasy. His genin on the other hand looked like they'd been fed through a mincer. Sasuke had electric burns up past the elbow of his left arm, which hung limply from his shoulder, heavy bruising all up his right side, more bleeding cuts than could be easily counted and a twisted ankle. Sakura had a bloody knot on her forehead, a badly skinned shin and forearm and several cracked ribs. Naruto's skin appeared unmarked but his clothing was ripped and bloodstained, evidence of wounds that had already closed, and his right eye wasn't focusing properly.

"Congratulations on surviving," Kakashi told them. "your teamwork is much better than it used to be, but there is still plenty of room for improvement-"

Naruto groaned, clutching his skull. Sakura swayed, breaths short and pained. Sasuke shuddered, burnt fingers spasming.

"-so we'll be working on that another day. Now let's all get to the hospital and get you fixed up so we can continue training."

The three genin stumbled after their sensei, leaning unashamedly on eachother for support.

"Tha' was... hell!" Sakura gasped. "Ka'shi-sensei... 's crazy!"

"Shh, he'll hear you," Sasuke muttered, wincing as he tried not to put his weight on his damaged ankle.

"Cound'a been worse:" Naruto groaned, eyes crossing, "he went easy on us. Let us regroup and everything. We could'a been _creamed_."

"I'm glad you realise that," the jounin said brightly. "I am training you after all, not trying to kill you. Be aware that each time we repeat this exercise I will be harder on you than the time before."

The chorus of frightened whimpers and pained moans told him the message had gotten through.

* * *

oyabun = boss

chi-mon = geography and related subjects

A/N: Kakashi gets serious. Team seven get beaten up. I have now published over 100,000 words; go me!

A/N2: A lot of chapters are getting published in a hurry at the moment because I've got time to type them up and a considerable buffer. However my muse is as temperamental as she is generous; this may not last. On that note, many thanks Fayth85 for your kind words and to marc(), invisible-gurl and Bad Habits for their frequent encouragement! Reviews are food for hungry muses!


	45. Naruto: Pain

**Naruto: Pain**

Naruto stared blankly at the ceiling above his hospital bed. He had only been back in the village three weeks since the misranked mission to Wave and this was his fifth hospital visit. In the bed to his right Sasuke was dead to the world, eyes covered by a layer of bandages. Sakura's chakra was a familiar presence two rooms down the hall where her dislocated wrist and elbow were being tended to, alongside her broken fingers.

All three genin had made meteoric progress in the past three weeks, although admittedly said progress was largely driven by fear: Kakashi-sensei made a point of terrorising them into forgetting their limits every five days or so. The inbetween time was spent recovering in the hospital, studying like mad and driving themselves into the ground trying to improve. They were getting better, Naruto knew, but their jounin-sensei had almost two decades worth of experience on them and pounded them bloody every single time.

_We made him work for it this time, though,_ Naruto thought with dark satisfaction. He had finally managed to call up the one-tailed chakra cloak Yoko was teaching him to use and had successfully protected both his team-mates while Sakura healed the stab wounds Sasuke had received while defending the kunoichi from their crazy sensei to the best of her limited ability. The jounin had resorted to an S-rank sharingan genjutsu to incapacitate the blond, by which point Sasuke was well enough for Sakura to turn her considerable displeasure on their sensei.

Naruto was glad he hadn't been on the receiving end of Sakura's latest genjutsu; he had awoken to the nauseating sight of Kakashi vomiting uncontrollably _through_ his mask while his two team-mates hustled him off in search of high ground. The jounin had made them pay for the experience, of course, but the bloody scratch on the back of his neck testified to the uplifting fact that today marked their first win.

It had also marked Sakura's induction into the select group of ninja aware of Naruto's status, but the kunoichi hadn't made a fuss.

"I don't care; you're too much of a doofus to be a demon," she'd said grimly as the sky overhead had blackened with storm clouds summoned by their vengeful sensei, "now use that power to prevent Kakashi from slaughtering me!"

Naruto had done his best but Sakura had still had her fingers, wrist and elbow brutally dislocated by the end of the exercise. Today Sasuke had taken the most severe damage: Kakashi had fried his optic nerve with a lightning jutsu and broken his shin on top of the usual wounds and bruises. Naruto had a cracked skull, a full set of freshly healed ribs, burnt femur, wide, angry and fading scars all over his back and arms and more memories of clone-death than he cared to count. The major advantage of the chakra cloak was that flesh wounds healed instantaneously, but it exhausted him afterwards to the point he could barely stagger to the hospital afterwards. _Never mind that Kakashi-psycho put a three-inch hole through my thigh with a lightning jutsu trying to get at Sakura._

A groan from Sasuke roused the blond from his contemplation.

"What- where am I?"

"Easy teme; we're in the hospital. The doctor took a look at your eyes -he was dead pissed at sensei for frying them- and they should be healed, if sore, by tomorrow morning. You're not allowed to take the bandages off before then though."

"Sakura?" the black-haired boy rasped.

"Sensei dislocated and broke three of her fingers and dislocated both her wrist and elbow as well," Naruto replied grimly, "but the medics are doing their thing. Sensei got a nice through-and-through chakra burn to the shoulder from me for that; only thing that stopped him from breaking more bones. That'll teach him to underestimate my range."

"Hatake is evil," Sasuke grumbled, gingerly fingering his bandages. "Naruto?"

"Hai?"

"If we fail the chunnin exams the one responsible will die."

Naruto sighed. "Aa. At least now we know he has a reason for pushing us this far this fast."

"He'd do it anyway," Sasuke muttered darkly. "He thinks it's _fun_."

The blond winced. "Let's... not go there, okay? How're your ninja-to lessons going?"

"I think I'm half-decent now. Sensei says I'm 'not completely pitiful anymore' which is an improvement. Having the sharingan helps and I've got a second tomoe in my right eye now as well as the third in my left I got last week."

"Just one to go then," Naruto said encouragingly. "Sakura's getting good with her genjutsu, isn't she?"

Sasuke shuddered. "That vomiting jutsu was just," he shuddered again, cheeks going slightly green, "eurgh. It made me queasy just seeing it. Her taijutsu with those gauntlets is vicious enough but her genjutsu is worse." The Uchiha paused for a moment. "How's your training going dobe? Anything in particular?"

"I'm well into the next sealing book -trap seals- kaa-san says I'm adequate enough with a tanto in my off hand to wield two weapons in the field soon and you know how much better my taijutsu is."

"You're damn good."

"Arigatou teme; you're good too, especially with Mantis. It's hard to believe you've only been learning for a month. Sensei's drilling me on chakra control when we work together and teaching me low-level ninjutsu which need a high degree of control and elaborate chakra manipulation. They're fiddly and require stupid amounts of concentration but the results are worth it. That's how I managed to put a hole in Sensei's shoulder. The shadow clones help, of course."

"Wish I could use shadow clones."

"You may possibly have enough chakra to do one; if you could it could do your reading for you while you concentrate on the physical stuff." Naruto thought about it. "Don't make the attempt unsupervised though. Death by chakra exhaustion would be embarrassing."

"Dobe," Sasuke growled.

Naruto was about to reply when nine unpleasantly familiar chakra signatures entered his range. "Teme, the fan-club are here."

Sasuke hissed angrily, quickly lay back on the pillows and slowed his breathing until he was successfully mimicking sleep. Naruto copied him; If they looked asleep the nurse wouldn't let the girls in.

The door opened, there was a brief pause and then it closed again. Naruto let out a shaky sigh as the nurse's chakra signature hustled the others away. "They're visiting Sakura instead," he whispered.

"Good," Sasuke grunted; "She can genjutsu them into catatonia for all I care."

Naruto didn't bother to answer him, keeping his eyes closed and letting himself drift. The past three weeks had been rough but the last for days had been worse: one of Benihime's clients had failed to return from a routine mission. Reports suggested the special jounin had run into a nukenin somewhere in southern River country. Team nine -Lee's team from last year's graduates- had supposedly been in the area and reported a bandit gang including someone wielding one of Kiri's infamous seven swords.

Naruto had dealt with the guilt of killing before but the grief of losing someone you knew was different. More than anything else it felt like something had been ripped out of his chest, leaving a hole. That local rumour suggested she had likely been _buried alive_ did not help.

He had spent half the day after hearing the news crying on kaa-san and the other half beating up shadow clones. It didn't hurt as much now but it was still more painful than the physical wounds Kakashi-sensei has inflicted on him. Benihime had helped deal with the misery by working on how to channel water chakra through her fans as well as creating a number of unpleasant tough-activated genjutsu. The relentless chakra control exercises Naruto was doing seemed to be benefiting her as well.

Naruto had recently discovered that his primary affinity was wind and hoped that -now they'd actually won for once- Kakashi-sensei would teach him how to use it. If not then he was going to work it out by himself. Now he could actually access the library he was learning a lot of very useful stuff.

* * *

A/N: While Kurosuki Raiga does not appear in the anime until much later, I thought I could pop him in at this point since I'm working from the Manga timeline. He is unlikely to appear in person but may be mentioned again later.

Team seven is improving nicely, although Kakashi is pushing them a little _too_ hard for my liking. This is mainly because at their age he was a chunnin, borderline jounin level and barely remembers his genin days at all. He did get his comeuppance this time, though. Go Sakura!


	46. Kakashi: Panic

**Kakashi: Panic**

Kakashi hopped from rooftop to rooftop on his way home from the hospital. The medical staff were getting used to team seven's weekly visits and had discharged them after making sure none of them had concussions. The three genin had all gone to Naruto's apartment: Sasuke needed to stay with someone until his eyes recovered and Sakura was at odds with her parents, immobilized right arm be dammed. She had moved into an apartment in Naruto's building and on the same floor as him, which had the added bonus of being cheap since no-one wanted to live near either the 'demon' or Konoha's most dedicated prankster since Uzumaki Kushina, especially when they were the same person.

The jounin had seen that kind of distance develop before; civilian parents often had trouble understanding that their fragile, dependent baby had evolved into a fragile, dangerous professional killer. In this case however it was the kunoichi's parents' intolerance of their daughter's jinchuuriki team-mate that had created and maintained the rift. Sakura, being loyal despite her persistent fangirlish inclinations and as stubborn as a mule, refused to go back until her parents were willing to welcome her team into their home. _All_ of her team.

Naruto had suggested once that she should just let it go but the pinkette had bopped him on the head for it.

"You're my team-mate, baka," she'd said gently. "I'm not dropping you for anyone and anyone who expects me to is going to suffer. Got that, Natuto-nii?"

The declaration of siblinghood had won Sakura a real smile and the blond's undying loyalty. Kakashi smiled at the reminder of his team's amazing progress from where they'd been two months earlier and hopped over the wall into the Hatake compound. It was a little after noon and Ame always left food lying around for transient ninja. It was one of the things about his fiancée that Kakashi found absolutely adorable.

He was making headway through a convenient tray of sushi when a pained groan reached his ears. Puzzled and curious, he abandoned the food and went looking.

It was Ame. She was leaning against the wall in the hall leading to the east wing, tiny sweat-drops beading on her forehead.

"Koi?"

"Kashi? S'now," she hissed as her face tightened in pain.

_Now? What-_ Kakashi went white as the full meaning of her words came crashing home. "Now? What do I-"

"Shh. I've sent for a midwife; just... help me to the infirmary," Ame managed, cradling her belly carefully through another contraction. The copy-nin had always wondered why Ame had insisted on having proper medical facilities in the mansion; it seemed she had been very wise to do so.

Kakashi helped his fiancée into the white-tiled room and gently sat her down on a bench just inside the door. "Do you need anything? Anyone?" _What do I do next?_

Ame winced, her chakra fluctuating wildly with the contractions. "Need to set the seals; will be dangerous otherwise. Here," she held out a hand, "cut me and smear the blood... on the seal outside the door. We'll have half... the village here otherwise." her face stiffened with yet another contraction and the accompanying chakra burst made Kakashi slightly dizzy. The jounin quickly nicked his fiancée's hand and smeared the blood across the design etched into the wall.

The seal activated by that action immediately enveloped the entire room. From what little Kakashi could decipher the seal could easily be entered from outside, but could not be passed through by the person or chakra of the one who activated it. There were other layers and safeguards of course, but that was the bare bones of it. It was a good seal; very robust.

"Yogensha-chan?" I felt the disturbance and- ah." Kakashi turned slightly to see Han looming outside the doorway. "I take it the time has come then?"

"Aa. There should be inin coming," Kakashi said distractedly. "Who did you send, koi?"

"A summons. The geese... have been keeping an eye on me," Ame panted. "Kami and Shinigami... it _hurts_."

"Not for much longer," Han remarked, eyeing her cautiously, "if you're as far along as I think you are. When did the contractions start?"

"I woke up feeling sore so I had... a nap after breakfast. The pain woke me about twenty... minutes ago."

"If the midwife isn't here within the hour she'll miss it," Han said dryly. "Do you have a contingency plan?"

_Contingency plan? What kind of contingency plan? What kind of things can go wrong with a birth? It can't be that complicated can it? Can it?_

"Amemai-sama?" Kakashi and Han both turned to see who had spoken. A hooded ninja dressed entirely in black except for a porcelain mask bearing a purple feline snarl was poised at the far end of the hall. "I sensed the commotion. I have medical experience," the individual offered.

"Ever supervised a birth?" Kakashi asked tersely.

"Iie, Hatake-san. I am however female and could supervised until one more qualified than I arrives."

"Very well then," Kakashi agreed, silently relieved to have _some_ help. Any medical experience was better than none. "You are?"

"The mask I bare is called 'Kasha', Hatake-san," the kunoichi informed him as she drew closer and entered the infirmary. "Amemai-sama told me I am not yet aware enough of myself for a fitting personal name and chose a temporary one that reflected my profession."

"Kasha will do for now then," the copy-nin agreed. _Never mind that it is a cat-monster that steals corpses._

"I have read about childbirth," the kunoichi admitted. "I need to see how dilated she is to determine how soon she can safely give birth." Her voice was sufficiently distorted by her mask that Kakashi couldn't tell whether she was actually nervous or not.

"What does that-" the copy-ninja's brain caught up with his ears. "What?"

"Hatake-san, you should go see what is holding up the midwife; she should be here by now," Kasha said, kneeling down in front of the sweating Ame, who was gripping the edge of the bench with both hands. "Han-san, who else is in the house that you are aware of?"

"Three Yuurei: Harionago, Shin and Ittan-momen. The rest are on missions or completing assignments." Since none of the former ROOT ninja had anything approaching hobbies, Ame had developed a system of giving them assignments to do when not on missions. They involved things like observing civilian social behaviour and correlating words spoken to body language or going shopping in mufti without attracting attention. Some of the younger Ghost-nin were getting quite good at faking normal behaviour. A few had even spontaneously _chosen_ hobbies.

"Please find Harionago for me, Han-san; she at least is female, if not medically trained. Hatake-san, why are you still here?"

Kakashi shunshined out to the top of the wall surrounding the Hatake compound, mind whirling. _Where is the midwife? Surely the birth of a clan heir is a matter of highest priority? What am I supposed to do?_

A large speckled goose landed on the wall next to him. "No midwifes available right now," it hissed furiously, confirming Kakashi's suspicion that it was a summons. There had been a few geese on the grounds ever since Ame built the mansion; it seemed they were part of the security rather than being wild. "All the medics on duty are tending to the aftermath of an ANBU mission gone sideways and the casualties of some lunatic who snapped in the public library. Do you know anyone with the right kind of experience we can hunt down?"

Kakashi's mind instantly blanked out. His fiancée was giving birth _right now_ and he _needed_ to find her a midwife or equivalent _right now_ or sooner, if possible. And he couldn't think of anyone.

"Er, a vet?" he offered helplessly, feeling horribly out of his depth. _Where are female relatives when you need them?_

"Work in a pinch," the goose conceded. "Good idea. Who and where?"

"Inuzukas. Inuzuka Hana. Probably in their clan compound since it's lunchtime."

"Tsume-san would be better as she's actually had children," the goose decided. "I can't go anywhere near all those dogs though; there'd be a riot."

"I'll find Tsume-san. She can always hunt down another appropriate Inuzuka if necessary," Kakashi decided, grateful to have a direction to run in. He shunshined off as fast as possible.

The copy-nin had spent a good long time around the Inuzuka compound learning about dogs when he was younger. He located Tsume in just under a minute and body-flickered to just outside the room she was in.

"Kakashi! Use the door for kami's sake!" Tsume growled in surprise as he materialised on the windowsill in a flurry of leaves. "What on earth brings you here in a hurry?"

"Ame-chan's having the babies now and the hospital can't or won't spare a midwife," Kakashi explained as quickly as he could, desperation nipping at his heels. "I left her with a former ROOT medic but I-"

"Say no more. Hana!" Tsume bellowed, bolting out of the office she used for official clan business and making tracks for her front door. Kakashi stalked after her, nerves making him twitchy. Twitchier.

"What is it, kaa-san?" Hana shouted from the kitchen.

"Go find your aunt Matsu! Kakashi's mate's giving birth and needs her at the Hatake compound yesterday!" the Inuzuka matriarch yelled back.

There was a clatter of sliding crockery and the thud of falling furniture. "Going!"

"Good. Now where the hell am I needed, Kakashi?"

The copy-nin grabbed her sleeve and shunshined directly into the east wing of the mansion. It had taken a while to get used to how moving straight in and out of the expanded grounds felt; unlike when you stopped at the wall, there was definite discomfort involved. It felt unpleasantly like being stretched and squeezed at the same time.

Tsume shook herself like a wet dog as soon as they landed. "Brr! That was not fun. Something to do with the expansion seals?"

"Hai. Ame's just down here," Kakashi said, his nerves deteriorating further.

"Hai, hai; I can smell her. Now go run around the compound or something to work off those nerves. I won't have you wearing a groove in the floor," the Inuzuka matriarch said briskly. "I'll take care of everything from here on out."

Kakashi only realised he'd been shooed once he was standing in the inner garden. He stared at the door for a moment, wondering if he dared go back in and hover by the infirmary door. _Probably safer not to._

"How is she?"

The jounin looked down. It was the goose from earlier addressing him. "I have no idea; Tsume pushed me outside before I could find out and ordered me to run off my nerves."

"Good advice," the goose offered. "It's not like there's much you can do at this point and what there was you've done already."

Kakashi stared at the sky for a minute. "I didn't know Ame had a goose summoning contract," he said, mostly out of a lack of anything else to say. He wanted to be here when the babies were born, not on the other side of the compound.

The goose eyed him sideways. "She doesn't. She has what's called a 'foot contract' with us. It's a bit like a backwards summoning contract: you get one or two personal summons who hang around all the time and the boss summon can reverse-summon you if there's a need for it but that's all. You can't actually _summon_ on a foot contract; the summons come to you by themselves. The main benefit is that there is no real limit to the number of foot contracts you can join. Yogensha-chan has three."

"So a foot contract is more like having a familiar, like the Inuzuka dogs, except the familiar is a summon?"

"Sort-of I suppose. The little seer has me and my mate from the geese as her personal guards as well as a few others from her other contracts. We all do what we can to help her but we're limited out here in the Elemental Nations; we'd do better around others who share her contracts. That way we could appeal to others baring the same foot contract as Yogensha-chan for aid."

"What other contracts is she on?"

The goose shook out its wings. "The contracts of her birth-clans: It's impossible to be stricken from a foot contract for anything less than a capital crime against allies. Said clan contracts in her case are the Shrews and the Shinigisu; that second one is the Krait and sea-kait clan, by the way."

"Snakes? Like Orochimaru?"

"Different snake clan. The former sannin has a contract with those snakes that kill their food with poison. The Shinigisu are far more toxic as their venom is for using against potential predators, not food. Some kraits actually _eat_ lesser snakes. There's a bitter enmity between the clans, hence why the kraits are in Kage no kuni and the lesser breeds are in the Elemental Nations." The goose paused. "On that note, will you be putting your goslings on a foot contract with your summons?"

"I..." Kakashi gave up on conversation, brain whirling chaotically. _Runnign laps around the compound suddenly feels like a smart idea._

* * *

inin = medic ninja

shinigisu = death kiss; kiss of death

A/N: Kakshi panics. I think it's a new experience for him, one he will become more familiar with as his children grow older; offspring do that to you. Sakura also gets to show her newfound maturity in unexpected ways. Foot contracts are an invention all my own; more information on them will be available later.


	47. Naruto: News

**Naruto: News**

Something was wrong; Naruto just knew it. Ame-kaa-san had dropped off his mental map after some alarming chakra flares shortly after midday, but having to look after Sasuke -he didn't even want to _consider_ what Kakashi would do to him if he abandoned his injured team-mate even for a few minutes- meant all the blond could do was send a clone. As the minutes dragged on into hours Naruto burned his nervous energy by practising kata with Sasuke and later teaching him how to read braille. Not only was it something made easier by the Uchiha's blindness, but also had a great many further uses in a lifestyle that involved a lot of sneaking around in poor lighting conditions. Once Sasuke got tired of trying to read by touch Naruto moved into improving his spatial awareness while blind, which turned out to be harder than the black-haired boy had initially thought. After much bruising and swearing the younger boy collapsed on Naruto's couch and refused to move until dinner. Naruto had just made a grunt-clone and sent it into the kitchen to prepare dinner when the clone he'd sent out at lunchtime finally dispersed. The influx of information hit him with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the skull, driving him to his knees as his brain struggled to process what had occurred.

"Dobe? Dobe! What's happening? Is something wrong?"

"S'okay, teme. It's nothing dangerous," Naruto said dazedly, eyes wide and a weird grin decorating his face. "It's kaa-san; she had the babies."

"She has? Is she well?" Sasuke had somehow developed an unexpected attachment to Ame. Actually now he thought about it, Naruto realised that Sasuke was likely attached for the same reasons Naruto himself was; both boys were after all orphans and his adopted kaa-san was very kind.

"Yeah, she's fine. Tired but that's all. Three babies though! They're all red and crinkly but so small!" Naruto babbled, rising to his feet and swaying slightly. His clone had been allowed to hold one of them for a moment; as experiences went it was up there with getting his hitai-ite as a high point in his life. Only becoming a geisha or being accepted as a person by Ame could match it in emotional intensity. _Kaa-san let me hold her newborn son!_ The blond blinked once or twice and took a deep breath:

"WAHOO!"

There was a soft patter in the hall as Sakura came to investigate the commotion -Sensei had used what he euphemistically referred to as 'aversion therapy' to get them to move more quietly; team seven were now psychologically incapable of moving loudly- pushed open his front door and stuck her head around it. Naruto had reconfigured his defences after Sakura moved in down the hall from him and they were now personally keyed to people he trusted.

"Naruto, what the hell?" she asked. "Why the shouting? Has a new flavour of ramen come out or something?"

The blond grabbed hold of his pinkette team-mate and improvised a dance around his living room with her. "Rejoice! Ame-kaa-san's had the triplets! They even have Sensei's hair!"

"Nani? You saw them?" Sakura slipped into full gossip mode, seizing control and dragging Naruto over to his sofa and forcing him to sit down neat to Sasuke. "Tell!" she ordered, pulling over a chair from by the dining table and perching on the edge of it.

"Triplets, like she expected: two identical boys and a little girl. The boys have Kakashi-sensei's hair, the colour at least; they have curls rather than spikes. The girl had tufts sticking up every which way _exactly_ like her father except her hair is pale gold rather than Sensei's silver. They all have blue eyes -Tsume-san says that will change as they get older- and their skin is reddish and crinkled, or it was when I saw them. Tsume-san said they were fair-skinned like their parents. They're incredibly small and light, too: I couldn't believe how light.

"Names?" Sakura demanded.

"The boys are called Obito and Yasha and the girl is Nikkou," Naruto recited, a big goofy grin taking over his face again. Sakura squealed, launched herself at Naruto and hugged him tightly. "Ooh! I must go tell Ino! This is so exciting! I bet nobody else knows anything yet!" She dashed of, leaving his apartment door wide open.

"Is it over?" Sasuke ventured quietly. The Uchiha had been very careful not to draw Sakura's attention to himself, being at a severe disadvantage with his eyes bandaged.

"She's gone," Naruto confirmed, getting up and closing his front door properly; " and I thought Kakashi-sensei was excited."

"Sensei was excited? Hatake Kakashi? Are you sure?" Sasuke asked.

"Yep. Grinning so widely I thought his mask would split and fall off," Naruto confirmed. "He was bouncing, teme. Bouncing!"

"That's..." Sasuke looked disturbed. "Strange. Really strange. Sensei's never like that except when he's found a flaw in our strategy he can pulp us with."

"He is a father now teme," Naruto reminded him. "He might change."

"Maybe." The Uchiha did not look convinced. "The chunnin exams are in six weeks time. We'd better continue training if we want do do well in them."

"Do you think he'll let up a bit now he's got kids of his own?" Naruto suggested hopefully.

"He's more likely to work us into the ground so we keel over faster and he can go home early," Sasuke grumbled.

Sasuke's prediction was partly accurate, as was Naruto's. Kakashi-sensei was in a disquietingly perky mood throughout the next few weeks. Said good humour did not however prevent him from working his genin team to exhaustion in training every single day. He did let up slightly in the so-called 'survival exercises' -read beatings- though, moving to taijutsu-only or genjutsu-only exercises rather than free-for-alls.

* * *

The other major changes Naruto only heard about through Benihime's customer gossip network: Inuzuka Tsume was on the warpath. She successfully pushed legislation through the clan council and past the hokage calling for more medic training and higher standards, then personally tested the entire hospital staff for physical fitness and chakra reserves. She also pressured the administration into setting aside time for the staff to train and expand their knowledge, in terms of actual jutsu as well as theory and physical fitness. Inin were required to have basic knowledge in at least one field other than their speciality and basic midwifery training was added to the first-aid programme that was now a compulsory part of the Academy curriculum. Anyone without first-aid training had to sign up for a course or lose their shinobi license; Naruto had been trained in civilian first aid at the okiya and was therefore exempt everything except the midwifery. As a man he was exempt the practical course, a relief since he had attended two births as Benihime which he refused to tell his sensei about on principle. Said experience got him through the course in record timing, matched only by Inuzuka Kiba who had witnessed enough of his clan's dogs having pups to have a decent idea of how the human birth process happened. Kiba and the rest of the rookie genin had been horrified by team seven's horror stories of survival training -backed up by their utter lack of squeamishness and relative proficiency in basic first aid- and extremely nervous when they realised that their teams' jounin were having their own first-aid training together as well.

Naruto could tell by the smirk on Kakashi-sensei's face afterwards and the thoughtful expressions of his fellow senseis that soon team seven would not be the only one undergoing weekly hospital visits. He could not however bring himself to care; why should his team be the only one to suffer?

Sakura took advantage of the advanced medical course now being offered by the hospital in a desperate attempt to recruit new inin to accelerate her own training. Naruto had had a clone tail her during her second week there and learned that she was not the only kunoichi taking advantage. Hyuuga Hinata and Yamanaka Ino had both joined the class alongside a passel of older genin -inin did not have to take the chunnin exams in order to be promoted within the hospital- and a few branch Hyuuga. Hinata's presence was anomalous when one considered the Hyuuga clan's views on inin, which Naruto incidentally considered a load of codswallop. Medics were scary; Ijutsu combined with Juuken, the traditional Hyuuga taijutsu style, would be even scarier.

Hinata was still ridiculously shy, but becoming a genin and -more likely- two weeks worth of the 'survival training' that had become a staple for all three rookie genin teams had considerably reduced her stalker tendencies and improved her confidence. She was still shy, but had moved from being easily crushed to subtly passive-aggressive and was more likely to ignore cruelty and disapproval than fold under it. Naruto approved of the change but refused to let her know he had noticed it; encouraging her crush would only get them both into trouble, especially given her family background and his obligation to the Kyuubi.

* * *

A little over a month after Ame had given birth and ten days before the chunnin exams were due to start -many of Benihime's clients were slated as examiners in the first test- Naruto was intercepted on his way home on his afternoon off by an ANBU-alike wearing a hood hiding his hear and a mask showing two beady eyes framed by the edges of a closed clamshell.

"Yogensha-sama's family has arrived," the clam-masked shinobi informed him blankly. "You are asked to bathe, dress and make your way to the Hatake compound to meet them as speedily as you are able."

"Right. Arigatou, er,"

"I am Shin." Naruto sensed amusement in there somewhere. It seemed deprogramming was starting to have an effect.

"Arigatou Shin. Please tell Kaa-san I'll be there as soon as I can." Naruto dashed off, taking a moment to disrupt the minor genjutsu the Yuurei had cast on him. It was a harmless but irritating illusion that disrupted his sense of direction, which would have made him get lost and be late unless he paid constant attention to his surroundings; a prank jutsu more than anything else. It was also the first evidence he had received so far of any of the former ROOT-nin having anything approaching a sense of humour, however crappy.

A speedy but thorough wash and wardrobe change later Naruto was walking briskly through the front gates of the Hatake compound in the formal marine blue hakama and kosode embroidered with wind-borne leaves and the red Uzumaki spiral repeated on the shoulders, sleeves and back of the neck. It was a _very_ formal getup, but Naruto rather liked it for all that. It was surprisingly easy to move about in compared to a formal woman's kimono.

Naruto was very nervous at the prospect of meeting his kaa-san's adopted children -_what if they don't like me?_- and unsettlingly aware that the Sandaime had actually forbidden Ame from adopting him formally and letting him share her name. _Whatever it happens to be._

Ame of course had promptly got around the prohibition by demanding to have him fostered with her, which the hokage had been unable to convincingly argue against, given Kakashi-sensei's own connection to the deceased Yondaime. It still rankled though. _Why is Oji-san so determined to prevent me from having a happy family to call my own? _That prohibition, more than any of the elderly hokage's other slip-ups, was what had alienated the usually forgiving blond from his grandfather-figure. He hadn't gone to visit the old man in weeks.

The Sandaime's decision may well have had something to do with his parentage, but that the old man didn't know Naruto was aware of his father's identity made the fact that he was unadoptable by official order all the more painful. _Who cares if tou-san was the Yondaime? He's dead, ghost or otherwise, and I'm not even allowed to bare his name. My mother's dead too, lost royalty or not, so why can't I be allowed to join kaa-san's family? Why am I not allowed to belong?_ It also made him wonder if anyone else had tried to adopt him when he was younger and been driven off, which did not give him warm fuzzy feelings for the hokage. Especially since -so far as the old man had been aware- he had been alone and very isolated until quite recently. _I wouldn't of minded if Oji-san had actually looked after me, but he didn't. He didn't even let someone else do it for him. Ame-kaa-san had to sneak around behind his back to care for me and see to it I was loved._

Naruto shook off his depression, running his fingers through his lengthening blond hair. He hadn't cut it since becoming a genin so it stuck up in thick gold spikes like a gilded hedgehog. The blond knew he'd have to cut it soon; if he left it as it was for much longer he would look more Yondaime-like than ever. People were already giving him funny looks in the street. _Although some of those might be people noticing I never wear orange any more._

Pushing his doubts aside, Naruto strode resolutely up the steps of the Hatake clan mansion and knocked politely on the front door. _Here goes nothing. _

* * *

Nikkou means sunlight; 'Yasha' is a type of fierce guardian spirit. Obito, of course, is named for Kakashi's former team-mate.

A/N: Enter the triplets as the changes wrought begin to ripple out into the other rookie teams and the rest of the village. Plus Tsume. I like Tsume. She gets things done. Next up: Meet the Kamen children!


	48. Naruto: Meetings

**Naruto: Meetings**

The front door to the Hatake mansion was opened by a lean man in traditional warrior dress with tightly curling blue hair. His eyes were by for the strangest Naruto had ever seen, dark amber with horizontally slit pupils. His matching kosode and hakama were a brilliant spring green decorated with little clusters of bats the same colour as his eyes.

Uzumaki Naruto?" The man bowed. "I am Akira, called Hitsuji. You are expected."

Naruto bowed back, lip quivering as suppressed his mirth. The eyes and crimped, fluffy hair were very sheep-like indeed, and the man's flattened nose, wide-set eyesockets and thin lips did nothing to dispel the likeness. In fact, they enhanced it. Regaining control over himself the blond slipped off his shoes, accepted a pair of slippers and padded into the house in the wake of the azure-haired man who had opened the door.

It wasn't far to walk: the second door on the right down the corridor towards the west wing. Akira -_if I call him Hitsuji I will laugh_- knocked lightly on the door frame and the shouji was pushed open by a black-haired boy of about nine with brilliant gold eyes wearing kosode and hakama in a shade of rich indigo with wave patterns in half-a-dozen shades of blue winding over them and a silvery grey brocade obi.

"Hitsuji-san?"

"Inutaicho-kun, this is Uzumaki Naruto, who is here to see your mother. Uzumaki-san, meet Kamen Inutaicho. He will accompany you to Ame-sama."

"Konnichiwa, Naruto-san," the gold-eyed boy said, bowing politely. "Please follow me."

Naruto followed. The room he'd just been invited into was the main family room and correspondingly large. At the moment it was full of children, all in their finest clothing, playing various games under the watchful eyes of a pair of supervising adults, both of whom were older than Ame-kaa-san. The older children were sat nearest the door, the youngest further towards the far end. Ame was sat about two-thirds of the way down the room, dressed in a magnificent formal kimono and uchikake, the latter in a delicate shade of coral pink and embroidered with cranes, bamboo shoots and stylised rainfall. She and a Hyuuga-eyed brunette in butterfly-printed red with a black obi luminously embroidered with strawberry plants were cooing over three vibrantly embroidered bundles that just had to be the triplets. Naruto let his young guide lead him over.

"Kaa-san? Your guest is here," Inutaicho said, childish voice full of earnest formality.

"Ame looked up and gifted Naruto with a dazzling smile. "Naru-kun!" She handed the baby in her arms to her companion, rose to her feet and hugged him tightly. Naruto hugged back; it felt a little odd not to have to be careful of a pregnant belly, but that niggling feeling was quickly squashed by the wonderful feeling of belonging he got from her.

"I have a special surprise for you today, Naruto, but first I want you to meet the rest of my family," Ame said. "And yes, they are your family regardless of whether I get to adopt you. You've already met Inutaicho; he's the eldest of the brood and wants to be a ninja. The young lady to my right is Nitsuki, but the children call her Mogura. She intends to become an inin and has both the expertise and experience already, if not the official qualification."

The pearly-eyed fifteen-year-old smiled at Naruto. "Konnichiwa, Naruto-san," she said softly, her musical voice reminding the blond of Hinata.

"Konnichiwa, Nitsuki-san."

"Please call me Mogura; all the other children do," she insisted.

"Very well Mogura-san," Naruto agreed with a smile. She was cute, gentle and quietly confident. Very cute, in fact.

"Taicho-kun, could you introduce Naruto to the others please?" Ame asked as one of the triplets stirred and started to whimper. "It seems Yasha-chan required my attention at the moment."

"Hai, kaa-san," the nine-year-old said, tugging gently on Naruto's sleeve. The blond let himself be led away towards the cluster of five-year-olds near the back wall.

"Koumori-chan, this is Naruto, our new nii-san," Inutaicho said to the girl of the group, a brown-eyed angel with tanned skin and riotous chestnut curls, dressed in a vibrant lime-green kimono decorated with chrysanthemums in every colour of the rainbow and a deep yellow obi patterned with red waves. "Naruto, this is Koumori, the youngest Kamen."

Naruto bowed to the little girl, who on closer inspection looked closer to four than five. "Konnichiwa, Koumori-chan."

The little girl gazed up at him with slanted, liquid sepia eyes. "Konnichiwa, Naruto-nii. Are you a shinobi?"

"Hai, imouto-chan. I'm a genin."

Koumori beamed at him. "I'm going to be a ninja when I'm bigger, just like nii-san and aniki."

Naruto was about to ask who her aniki might be when Inutaicho interrupted to continue the introductions. The two boys with Koumori were Ushi and Uma, the former being slightly more heavily built than the other and wearing garnet brown to his twin's beige. Both had medium brown hair, green eyes and autumn leaf patterns on their kosode and hakama. Even their obi were identical in soft purple. Both boys wanted to know if Naruto would be living with them -probably not- if he would teach them to throw kunai -if kaa-san agreed to it then yes- if he knew any cool jutsu -of course he did- and if could show them. Naruto obligingly created a shadow clone that picked up Koumori and tossed her in the air, making her squeal. Ushi and Uma were absolutely delighted and wanted Naruto to stay and play with them, but Inutaicho insisted that the older boy had to meet the other children -"Kaa-san said so!"- so the blond promised to come back later.

The next group Naruto was introduced to was a trio of girls plus one boy, all aged between seven and eight who were playing otedama and singing softly as the dozen beanbags flew through the air. Once again Inutaicho introduced Naruto to the girls first.

Tori was the oldest and the only one who was actually eight years old. She looked like an older version of Koumori except her hair was straight rather than curly and her face was rounder. Her hair hung to mid back like a curtain over a kimono in a delicate shade of pale blue decorated with clouds and sparrows which was belted with a peach pink damask obi.

Usagi was the next oldest with green eyes paler than Ushi and Uma and honey-blonde hair that reminded Naruto slightly of Inoichi-san. The two high and feathery pigtails the slender girl had her hair up in looked a little like rabbit ears, but despite her rather stunning good looks Usagi seemed quite shy and unspoilt. Her kimono was loud cherry pink covered in patterned fans and her obi was pale green embroidered with bellflowers.

The youngest girl in the group was called Hebi and reminded Naruto rather forcefully of Mitarashi Anko. She had the same spiky purple hair, brown eyes and round face as the interrogation specialist, although she seemed to be of a more intellectual bent, standing ramrod straight in a dark turquoise kimono patterned with irises and a lilac obi brocaded with carp. Upon being introduced she promptly asked Naruto about genjutsu theory and how it related to natural hallucinations, which he had to admit he knew nothing about. He managed to placate her by promising to introduce Hebi to his team-mate who specialised in genjutsu -"Sakura's better at that stuff than I am"- and was allowed to move on and be introduced to the group's token male.

Nezumi was between Tori and Usagi in age with inky black hair and golden eyes like Inutaicho but had a much narrower face and stronger chin than his elder brother. His hair stuck up in thick spikes rather like Naruto's own which was quite different to Inutaicho's well-behaved, flat bangs. His kosode and hakama were almost as red as Mogura's and embroidered with hollyhock leaves in all manner of eye-watering shades. His obi was woven in checkerboard pattern in two shades of orange.

Unlike his three sisters, Nezumi was bouncy and a complete chatterbox. In under a minute Naruto learned that the spiky-haired boy could already throw kunai and shuriken, loved messing around with ninja wire and was the acknowledged stealth master of the Kamen children. He also loved fire and explosions, the bigger the better. Naruto was slightly disappointed to be dragged away from a kindred spirit, but recognised there would be time to catch up later.

The next two Naruto was introduced to were a pair of six-year-old boys. Tora had medium brown hair that stuck out at the back, golden skin and deep blue eyes and wore an orange outfit patterned with gold mist and dragonflies in pale blues and greens, belted with a pale olive obi embroidered with temari on the ends. Naruto heartily approved of the orange, which the younger boy confided was his favourite colour. Tora's favourite things, however, were blades. Especially swords.

Kitsune on the other hand was a redhead, as bloody a scarlet as Benihime's own, with ice-blue eyes like a winter morning. His kosode and hakama were pale yellow covered in little dragons and the obi around his waist was mossy green damask patterned with ferns. He told Naruto that he wanted to be a ninja so he could be strong. "everyone else wants to be a ninja," he told the blond earnestly, "so I'll be one too so I won't be vulnerable to their enemies." What Kitsune really loved was dancing and puzzles. He and Tora were playing karuta when Inutaicho introduced Naruto and Kitsune had been winning by a large margin.

Lastly Inutaicho lead Naruto over to who the nine-year-old referred to as his 'team': a boy and a girl a little younger than he was. Kame had dark brown spiky hair and black eyes in a rather square face and wore an bright ashy green outfit decorated with grasses and tortoises with a black obi threaded with a silvery lattice. He told Naruto that he liked hunting and tracking best, but that traps were pretty cool as well.

Neko looked a lot like Inutaicho with identical gold eyes and face shape but much lighter hair, a caramel brown that was almost blonde. She liked strategy games and finding things out, especially secrets. Her kimono was pearl grey embroidered with rice plants and frolicking hares, with a scarlet and gold obi embroidered with plum blossom and bamboo sprays tied in an elaborate drum knot behind her back. She reminded Naruto a little of Ino in the way she liked ferreting knowledge out of people.

Inutaicho did not introduce Naruto to the two adults he had not yet met, preferring to point them out from a distance. The woman in her mid twenties watching over the younger children in the peach pink kimono and pale blue obi all embroidered with lilies in similarly light, airy colours was Ryuu -"Her real name's Retsu but nobody calls her that"- and the tall man with long, spiky red hair in snowy white damask belted with an indigo obi keeping an eye on the otedama game was Ahiru. Inutaicho told him that most of the children called Ahiru 'tou-san' even though he wasn't really their father, just like they all called Ame 'kaa-san'.

"Kaa-san brought him home especially to look after us," his gold-eyed guide told him simply, "and he knows lots of ninja stuff as well, especially ninjutsu and seals."

Naruto -being a fuuinjutsu enthusiast himself- was tempted to go over and start a conversation, but Ame caught his eye and beckoned him over.

"I've got someone who wants to meet you in private," she told him, "come on; he'll join you in the side receiving room in a minute."

The 'side receiving room' was a relatively small room with a sofa at one end and zabuton on either side of a low table in the middle. Ame had declared the room's purpose as being 'for small, informal meetings' so Naruto had no idea who it was wanting to see him. The blond made himself at home on the sofa, examining the ink paintings and colourful prints hanging on the opposite wall to pass the time.

He was about to get up so he could see what exactly was hanging on the wall behind him when the door slid open and someone stepped inside.

* * *

Notes

shouji = japanese sliding door made of paper on a wooden frame

otedama = children's juggling games played in groups or alone. Many different versions, all with songs to go with them

aniki = big brother; familiar

kosode = shorter kimono that only reaches mid-thigh; worn as a shirt with hakama.

hakama = trouser-like garments worn over kimono or kosode.

konnochiwa = greetings; a greeting

temari = a type of ball made of wadded fabric wrapped with ribbons on the outside in geometric patterns

karuta = japanese playing cards

zabuton = cushion for kneeling on

hitsuji = sheep or ram

A/N: Meet the family. The Kamen children have been raised to be rather un-Uchiha, but there're still things that someone who really knew the Uchiha would be able to recognise. Spot the similarities and guess who's mentioned under another name in my Shisui-fic...


	49. Naruto: Tangles

As Muroshi noticed, Koumori is indeed Shisui's daughter Himiko from my one-shot, Shisui's Sacrifice. And now, on with the story!

**Naruto: Tangles**

Naruto blinked in puzzlement at the tall redhead with metallic gold eyes who had just let himself into the room. "Ahiru-san?"

The redhead winced. "That's not really my name. The other adults nicknamed me that because the younger children followed me around like ducklings when they were toddlers." He had a nice voice, warm and low. His face also looked naggingly familiar, though Naruto couldn't recall where he'd seen those features previously.

"Have we met before?"

The redhead winced again. "Just the once. I'll tell you about it as soon as I've deactivated the seal I'm wearing, okay?"

"You're wearing a seal?"

"Aa. It's a disguise seal; Usei-chan is very good at them."

"Usei?" Naruto asked.

The redhead smiled. "You know her as Ame. Usei's a nickname from when she was younger." He made a quick set of handseals and pressed his fingers to his forehead. A small seal appeared between his eyebrows and glowed for an instant then darkened to black. As it did so the red in his hair faded to corn gold and his eyes bled to the blue of summer skies. Naruto stared at his taller, older, more solidly built double. The only real difference in features was in the shape of the eyes.

"My real name's Minato," the older man said shyly. "I'm technically dead and I'm your biological father."

Naruto couldn't stop staring. "Tou-san?" he breathed, voice cracking. "How?"

Minato smiled a little, one hand rubbing the back of his neck in a reflexive gesture Naruto also used when put on the spot. "Well, I died sealing Kyuubi -sorry about how that turned out by the way- but Usei -Ame, whatever- wouldn't let me leave. Well, couldn't really. So I hung around as a ghost. About four years ago she worked out how to create a solid clone I could inhabit and well, here I am."

Naruto blinked. "Shintai bunshin variant?"

"Aa, that's right. She's working on making me a proper body of my own but it's a major project and she has a ton of other responsibilities."

The younger blond lunged for the older one. "Tou-san!"

Minato hugged him closer, ignoring the tear stains accumulating on the front of his kosode. "Shh, sochi. I'm here; I've got you. You've grown up into a wonderful young man; your mother would be so proud of you. Especially of all those pranks. She was an incorrigible prankster in her day, was Kushina-chan. You have her Uzumaki temper as well. Shh, It's all right; I'm here now. I'm sorry for not finding you sooner."

"Not your fault;" Naruto sniffed, wiping his face with a handkerchief as he got himself under control again. "It was Madara-teme who started the stupid Kyuubi business in the first place."

Minato chuckled quietly. "Oh so true. I did want to come and find you as soon as I got this body but Ame wouldn't let me. She pointed out that I'm rather unusual-looking and my death was very public, so my coming and taking care of you publicly could have caused all manner of mess. Plus she was taking care of you as much as was possible already. So I agreed to take care of this brood of hers in her absence." the former Yondaime looked wistful. "They all call me 'tou-san' but it isn't quite the same as when you say it. I'm also very glad she told you about me. I really should have written a more detailed will."

Naruto grinned mischievously. "If you're their tou-san and Ame's their kaa-san, why is she getting married to Kakashi-sensei?" he asked innocently.

"Brat!" Minato spluttered, face flushing scarlet. "I'm a good seventeen years older than she is!"

"You don't look it," Naruto pointed out. "You barely look twenty three. Hell, you look younger than Sensei and he's marrying her."

"That's because I've been _dead_ for the past thirteen years. The dead don't age, even if they're wearing clones."

"Does that mean you _are_ younger than Kakashi-sensei now?"

"No. I'll never be younger than Kakashi," the elder blond said firmly, lips twitching slightly at Naruto's teasing. "I looked after him from when he was a genin at five up until he joined ANBU at fourteen, just before I died. He was like a son to me and always will be."

"so then," Naruto drawled wickedly, "My kaa-san is getting married to my adoptive nii-san despite my tou-san and kaa-san already having another twelve kids younger than me that they're raising together. That's a twisted family dynamic. Add that you, tou-san, are technically _younger_ than my nii-san even though you practically raised him and, well..."

Minato covered his face with one hand. "Just stop. Please?" he begged, voice slightly muffled. Naruto could practically taste the embarrassment though. The young jinchuuriki decided to alter his plan of attack. He needed this out in the open; Ame-kaa-san was the most important person in his life short of his team-mates and he needed to know where his father stood with her, propriety be dammed.

"You love her."

"Minato moved his hand and looked down to meet Naruto's eyes. "I do. She's a very special person and a true friend. I owe her my continued existence."

"Yes, that too but that isn't what I meant; you're _in love_ with her," Naruto persisted, half a lifetime of geisha training in emotional sensitivity backing up his hunch.

The older blond stiffened, face closing down to bland serenity. "Naruto," he warned.

"I need to know, okay? You may be my father but she was the one who raised me. Via a clone, but still. She says she's in love with Kakashi-sensei and I _know_ he's head over heels for her, they're getting married and already have three adorable little babies who make your insides go squishy by just looking at you. But even though Ame-kaa-san is definitely my mother Kakashi-sensei is more of a mentor and big brother than a real father figure, especially with how he trains us. He doesn't act like a parent except on specific occasions, like first kills. But now you're here and you _feel_ like my tou-san and everything's sideways," Naruto burst out, arms waving wildly and voice rising to a wail at the end. "I just want to know where I fit."

Minato closed his eyes and sat carefully on the sofa. Naruto joined him, leaving a careful distance between them. It _had_ been a terrible question to ask someone, but Naruto wanted to be certain that this was going to work before committing himself. He been let down by everyone except Ame; caution was perfectly valid under the circumstances.

"Sochi, the first time I met Ame she was five. I was twenty two and very much in love with Kushina-chan, your biological mother. We spent about five days together, in which time I learned she was a seer, a fuuinjutsu prodigy, very friendly and an oddly innocent little girl who had suffered great trials with surprising fortitude. The next time I saw her was barely a year later, Kushina was dead -I was dead- you were orphaned and out of my reach and I had just sealed the Kyuubi in you. I was also a ghost bound to the mortal plane and the only person I could interact with was this six-year-old child who could talk to gods and demons and considered time to just be another direction of travel." Minato paused for a moment, piercing Naruto with a freezing stare. "To pass the time I agreed to teach her everything I knew, ninja-related or otherwise. Death released me from all oaths, after all.

"I spent the next seven and half years in and out of her head; in her mindscape I could physically affect my surroundings and actually _do_ things, which made it easier not to go completely insane. I actually had a home in there. I taught her everything I knew, everything about myself and learned more about her than anybody else living or dead; we were almost family, strange as that sounds. Then she hit puberty and her guardian was forced to leave her."

"Then what?" Naruto ventured after a short pause.

"She was already a maiko by then. Not long after she turned fourteen and had been a woman for a few months her Okaa-san declared her ready to join the geisha sisterhood, which meant loosing her virginity and an introduction to sex," the older blond said flatly. "Except her surrogate father-figure had just left her and the only male she trusted with her person in a situation requiring such vulnerability was me."

_Oh. That's... kinda like it was for me, really. It goes weird in my head when I think about the fact I had sex with one of kaa-san's clones. But I think I see where tou-san's story is going._ "She made you a temporary clone body, didn't she?"

Minato nodded jerkily. "It wasn't the first time; She did it annually, as it took a great deal of effort. I'd been incorporeal for most of eight years and hadn't been physically involved with anyone since Kushina-chan. Then to have her ask me that..." he paused. "I couldn't refuse. I owed it to her and I didn't really mind. But to go from being unable to even touch cold stone to a week of bedroom fun and light-hearted outings in restaurants and pleasure parks is a massive shock to the system. A whole week of incredibly intense sensation and emotional intimacy. Then the clone ran out and I was incorporeal again." He sagged against the sofa back, staring blindly at the ceiling. Naruto cautiously laid his head against his father's upper arm, offering what comfort he dared.

"On a different note, I am _not_ going to comment on your alter ego's choice of profession, given your actual age," Minato said in rather bemused tones, "although I feel compelled to commend you for your stealth. Just don't tell anyone for a few years, please? I want blackmail material on as many people as possible by the time my own identity comes out."

"Sure. What happened next?"

Minato sighed. "For almost a year, nothing. Then when she was fifteen and a half she finally managed to create a body I could use indefinitely; this one, as it happens. We were completely separate people for the first time in almost a decade. Then she got a new mission that I couldn't join her on. So I stayed with the Kamen children and a shintai bunshin -one like Hibana who expressed a fragment of her true personality rather than an echo of the whole- while she went away to help others and spy on Madara. Who is now dead, thank the kami. Anyway, I found myself missing her terribly. The bunshin -who went by Kasumi and was unmade not long ago- was more like a sibling or cousin of hers than a true copy, lacking both her quirks and her intelligence. It would have been lonely without a dozen terrors running around the place wanting to learn how to be ninja." He lapsed into silence again, this time staring at the floor. Naruto let the quiet drag. This conversation had become painfully personal, requiring skills usually employed by Benihime rather than his usual ninja repertoire.

"She'd been gone a year when the dreams started," Minato went on eventually, voice barely a whisper, "and I had to admit to myself that I'd fallen for her. Not to mention the fact that there was no way she could possibly be unaware of it, given her abilities. I felt terrible. I'd always felt she was like a little sister to me, or perhaps an exceptionally precious student since she is technically my successor in all things save blood. But no, I had to fall for her. Worst of all, I knew it wasn't to be: her kekkai genkai is so wild only her true soulmate can anchor her and if that had been me she would have told me sooner and not left me behind in the first place. Then she found Kakashi, which only confirmed it, but I still couldn't put it behind me.

"She is still the only woman since Kushina to make me feel like this," he rasped, head bowed. Naruto caught a glimpse of tears and ducked under his father's elbow to hug him fiercely.

"Gomen nasai," he whispered. "I shouldn't have asked. I'm really, really sorry for prying."

Minato hugged him back just as hard. "I still have you though," he murmured hoarsely. "You will find, Naruto-kun, that some things simply are, and a person has to learn to live with them, no matter how painful they may become."

* * *

Notes

Shintai bunshin = flesh clone kinjutsu

sochi = son

A/N: Naruto finally gets to meet Minato! Poor former Yondaime has developed some kind of Stockholm Syndrome variant. Oh dear. Everyone note that Minato is doing his best not to think about his son's choice of profession, although he has had quite a long time to get used to the idea.

A/N2: Ten-Tailed-Tiger123, I rarely use cliffhangers, but the end of the last chapter required it.


	50. Kakashi: Family

**Kakashi: Family**

Kakashi had deliberately stayed away from his clan compound all day, since he had been warned that the twelve Kaman children plus carers had arrived and he wanted to give them all a chance to settle in before joining the fray. At least, that was his excuse. The Yuurei with the mask painted with what looked like a crumpled length of cotton did not seem particularly impressed. Worse, the jounin hadn't met this one before and was at an automatic disadvantage. He had at least sparred with Harionago, Shin -whose sense of humour left much to be desired- and Nurarihyon, whom he suspected to be a Yamanaka.

"Amemai-sama wishes you to know that you have missed dinner," he -or was it she?- said flatly, not giving away at all how they felt for being used as a private messenger for something so mundane. "In order to meet the children before they are sent to bed you must return immediately."

"Oh? Is it that late already?" Kakashi mused, lowering his ninja-to and giving Sasuke a bit of breathing room.

"I have been authorised to use force if you do not, ahem, 'get moving as soon as you get the message', Kakashi-san," the Yuurei added, tone bland and vaguely helpful. "Amemai-sama assures me that my abilities are well-suited to subduing and transporting you against your will should it prove necessary. Of course, she would very much rather it did not but some conflicts are inevitable when ideals clash."

That sounded ominous. Kakashi bowed to the inevitable. "We're finishing for the day, Sasuke. Remember to cool down properly before bed or you'll be sore in the morning."

"Hai, Sensei," the Uchiha gasped, slipping his ninja-to into its sheath with shaky hands.

"See you tomorrow!" the jounin said brightly before leaping into the trees and making a beeline for his clan grounds. _I won't be marrying her for another three weeks but she's already organising me. And with enforcers; not even Shikaku has to deal with that. Oh, well. The benefits are worth it._ He shunshined down to the front gate, his anonymous escort seconds behind him.

"What's your mask supposed to be anyway?" the copy-nin asked idly.

"Ittan-momen, Kakashi-san."

"It really _is_ a length of cotton? How bizarre." Kakashi pondered for a moment. "What's your speciality?"

"Chakra strings, Kakashi-san," the Yuurei replied after a pause.

"Chakra strings, not puppetry? Interesting that you make the distinction."

The white-masked ninja made a vaguely scornful noise in his throat. "Puppets are largely cumbersome and unsubtle."

"I'll take your word for it," Kakashi said agreeably, rather pleased he'd found a subject the messenger actually cared about. "Where are we going?"

"The main family room, Kakashi-san. Naruto-san has visited already and left just before I was sent to find you."

"I'll be off then. See you later; maybe we could spar," Kakashi said before shunshining away to just outside the shouji door that led into the largest of the family rooms other than the dining hall. He paused on the threshold as he heard Ame talking on the other side of the frame:

"Is everybody here?"

"Ahiru-tou-san isn't," a piping childish voice promptly spoke up.

"He had a private chat with Naruto and is having a late dinner; Kakashi-san will have a grown-up talk with him later," Ame replied.

Kakashi slid the door open and walked in. Twelve colourfully dressed children straightened their postures like little soldiers. Ame, a vision in a pink uchikake over a rich, warm purple kimono and green obi was cradling a bundle of embroidered blankets with a tiny, wrinkled face peeking out of one end. Kakashi identified it as his daughter Nikkou by the wispy gold hair sticking up on top of her head like a cockatoo's crest. Off to one side a Hyuuga was cooing over another two similarly decorated bundles which no doubt contained his twin sons.

"Kashi, come over here and meet the Kamen children," his koi said, gently catching hold of his arm with her free hand and towing him towards the line-up. "Children, this Hatake Kakashi, my betrothed and the triplets' father. Kashi, this is the Kamen brood."

The youngest child, a curly-haired girl in lime green, shuffled forward, mindful of her outfit. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san. My name is Koumori and I like high places and sushi! I also like pocky, but only when it's nii-san's pocky." She bowed carefully, smiled sweetly up at him them stepped back into line. Kakashi was abruptly reminded of a long-ago ANBU colleague:

"_Hi, I'm Shisui. I'm an Uchiha but you guys already know that so I don't know why I bothered to mention it. I like eating sushi and messing with my little cousin Itachi; he's to uptight for his own good. I especially like stealing his pocky- hey! What did you hit me for Itachi? I was just telling the truth!"_

Former ANBU code-named 'Boar' had been the first to die when Uchiha Itachi snapped and wiped out his clan save for his little brother. _At least that's how the tale goes; I now have very serious doubts._ Shisui hadn't been half bad for an Uchiha, reminding the copy-nin ever so slightly of Obito in that he had actually acknowledged the existence of his sense of humour.

The next two in line stepped forward together, remarkably similar boys with identical dark green eyes.

"I'm Ushi," Said the boy in brown.

"And I'm Uma," said the boy in pale beige.

"We're twins. We both like disguises," Ushi said.

"But I like codes and and oden more," Uma added.

"And I like animals and barbecue," Ushi finished. Both twins bowed and stepped smartly back in line. Next up was the redhead in yellow.

"Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," he said softly, ice-blue eyes watchful and distant. "I am Kitsune. I like puzzles of all kinds and dancing. I also like taijutsu." He bowed gracefully, very gracefully for a six-year-old, and slid smoothly back into place.

Next up was the boy in orange. "Hi, I'm Tora. I like orange and sharp things. Swords are especially cool. I also like my family and I want to keep them safe from everything."

The next child was a girl of about seven who looked like a miniature Anko, spiky purple hair and all. "My name is Kamen Hebi. I like genjutsu and dreams. My ambition is to be in the bingo book when I'm older."

Kakashi believed she could do it. For a little girl she was unbelievably intense.

The pigtailed blonde in bright pink was next. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," she murmured. "I am Usagi. I like cooking, gardening and watching people. My favourite weapon is senbon." She bowed, pigtails bouncing, and shuffled back into line. Despite looking utterly unsuited to the shinobi lifestyle Kakashi felt she was the one who would make the best kunoichi out of the girls he'd been introduced to so far. Probably as a poison specialist. She was also the prettiest of the younger children, although remarkably self-effacing. The latter quality would make her an excellent spy when she was older.

Next in line was a boy who looked exactly like Kakashi's own former team-mate Obito had, except with gold eyes. "Hello! I'm Nezumi. I like creeping up on people and explosions. I also like ninja wire: it's really, really useful and multipurpose. I also like kaa-san, 'cause she cooks the best ever pancakes and Ahiru-tou-san because he doesn't laugh at me when I'm clumsy and thinks my pranks are funny. Naruto-nii's pretty cool as well since he agreed explosions are awesome! Do you like explosions, Kakashi-san?"

"There are times making things explode is very gratifying," Kakashi conceded, wondering exactly _who_ this 'Ahiru-tou-san' was.

"See, Hebi? Explosions _are_ cool! Even Kakashi-san thinks so!"

"Don't make me involve Usagi," the purple-haired girl threatened. Nezumi swallowed hard and pouted, but didn't continue the argument, making the copy-nin wonder exactly how Usagi enforced her will. Next up was a girl in pale blue with her hair in a bun.

"Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san," she bowed politely, all eight-year-old self-possession, "my name is Tori. I like calligraphy, painting and herblore. I want to be an inin when I'm old enough because I want to be able to heal people." She eyed him shyly through her bangs. "I also like looking after my younger siblings."

The next child to introduce themselves was the last girl in the line. She had gold eyes and wore a pearly grey kimono. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi-san; I am Neko. I like strategy games and finding things out. I also like dango and playing with my sisters."

There were only two boys left now. The younger one stepped forward and bowed jerkily. "I'm Kamen Kame. I like hunting, tracking and setting traps. I'm going to be an oinin when I'm older." He fiddled with his olive green hakama as he spoke and slid back into line as soon as he finished.

The last and oldest boy looked up at him with calm golden eyes. "I am called Inutaicho; my nii-san named me for a man he respected. I look after all my younger siblings and will do anything to protect them. I like ramen, learning ninjutsu and music."

"I suppose I should introduce myself properly, then," Kakashi mused. "Oh well. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I like my fiancée Ame -your kaa-san- lightning ninjutsu and showing up late for things. I also like my baby sons and daughter. Since Ame is your kaa-san as well that makes Obito, Yasha and Nikkou your baby siblings, I suppose." The older children looked interested in that concept, although Uma, Ushi and Koumori seemed a bit pouty about losing their status as youngest.

"I'm also a jounin-sensei, so most of my time is spent teaching my three genin, one of whom is Naruto who I think you've all met." There was a chorus of nods, some rather enthusiastic. The blond jinchuuriki had clearly been well-received. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to spend any time with you lot though. We're all family now since you've come to live with me, and we should all look after eachother."

That seemed to be the right thing to say as the copy-nin was instantly overwhelmed by small children all trying to hug him at once.

* * *

Ame rescued Kakashi from the overenthusiastic horde and had the older children herd the younger ones off to bed. That set in motion, she created a clone unlike any the jounin had ever seen before, handed baby Nikkou over to it and led Kakashi out of the room.

"Now you've met the children there's someone who requires a personal introduction," his fiancée told him quietly, leading him to the door of the private receiving room. "the children know him as 'Ahiru-tou-san' as he has been their primary male carer for the past four years, but that's a nickname rather than his actual birth name."

"Whose idea was it to name the kids after ANBU masks?" Kakashi just_ had_ to know.

"Their eldest living relative's. The Kamen children are all that is left of a very old clan that was wiped out during the bloodline purges in Mizu no kuni. Their only adult relative is a ninja who didn't know any of them personally, being a bit of a loner, so he renamed them in honour of his former comrades."

"So they're a kekkai genkai clan?"

"In theory. I have no idea how many will manifest their family bloodline," Ame said, tapping the frame of the sliding door with her knuckles.

There was something off about all this, Kakashi knew. _Something fishy is going on here. Everything koi just told me is completely true, but I somehow doubt she told me everything. The missing piece is the key to the tale, and when I find it_-

The shouji door slid open and the copy-nin found himself face to face with a ghost. A blond, blue-eyed, unsettlingly solid and painfully familiar ghost.

"I'll leave you two to catch up," Ame said quietly, rising on tiptoes to kiss her lover's cheekbone above his mask before disappearing down the hall.

* * *

Several hours later Kakashi was wandering aimlessly around his home. His time with his former sensei had been severely emotionally draining and he wasn't really sure what to make of it all. _Bargains with gods, ghost and demons, subterfuge, death and prophesy. What a tangle._ The copy-nin knew there was much more to the situation that had been revealed to him; he had been a ninja since early childhood and could tell when something wasn't being said. In this case he really didn't think he wanted to know.

_My koi, the puppetmaster. Oh, the irony of it all. She isn't even from this village and she's been calling the shots since the last war._ Kakashi made his way to the bedroom he shared with his fiancée and let himself in quietly, not wanting to disturb his five-week-old children in the next room.

"Kashi?"

"Hai, koi," the odd-eyed jounin said softly, shedding his clothing, mask and hitai-ite. "I'm here."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I _couldn't_ Kashi; you wouldn't have believed me," Ame said softly, arms wrapped around her shins as she rocked back and forth on the bed. "It took months to make than bunshin and it's still terribly limited, barely more than a puppet. I've been working on properly resurrecting him for _years_ but it's so difficult it's ridiculous," she fretted, the starry pinpricks in her eyes flashing erratically. "Not to mention all the others in my care-"

"Shh, koi," Kakashi murmured, wrapping his arms around her comfortingly. "It's alright; you've given me back my sensei and Naruto his father. That's more than enough. I have never dared to hope to see him in the flesh once more and now he's sharing my home." He paused. "On an unrelated note, were you ever going to tell me that the Kamen are all Uchiha or was I expected to find out for myself?"

Ame blinked owlishly. "Ano, pass?"

"Koumori looks almost exactly like Shisui did, Nezumi is Obito all over again, Inutaicho moves like the second coming of Itachi and Ushi and Uma are like mini-Fugakus with better temperaments," the copy-nin said dryly. "Not to mention Usagi being exactly like Mikoto-san was so far as temperament goes. No-one without sharingan-perfect memories would be able to tell though. Congratulations on keeping them out of sight for so long."

Ame shrugged helplessly. "They wanted to be ninja, especially the oldest three. Who am I to deny them their future and their heritage? Konoha is where they would have ended up eventually even if I hadn't found you when I did."

"You know they'll be found out once they start developing the sharingan, don't you?"

Ame giggled. "Only if they stop using their disguise seals. Inutaicho already has one tomoe in one eye and two in the other but you'd never be able to tell. It doesn't even prevent them from using the sharingan's hypnotic and genjutsu-weaving properties."

Kakashi paused. "Who's teaching him to use it?"

"Who do you think?"

The jounin froze. "Itachi?"

"Surely you've worked out by now that the massacre was not what it appeared to be" Ame asked reproachfully.

"Hai, hai..." Kakashi muttered, the cogs in his mind turning frantically. "I take it this has something to do with Uchiha Madara?"

"Aa. Itachi was acting under relatively legitimate orders so assassinate those clan members plotting to overthrow the hokage. Madara crept in and slaughtered everyone else; I barely got the kids out in time. Itachi then bumped into Sasuke shortly after realising that everyone was dead and promptly Tsukiyomi'd him, which he wasn't supposed to do but was probably a result of temporary insanity due to the extreme mental strain he had been under for the past months and the trauma of losing half his family and killing the other half. Shisui's death really messed him up."

"Wasn't Itachi suspected of killing Shisui in order to obtain mangekyou?"

"Exactly. Being all but forced to murder your best friend would damage anyone's mind and Itachi's always been fragile. Too much pressure from the clan and too many expectations. I'm honestly surprised he didn't snap sooner or do more damage."

* * *

Notes

oinin = hunter ninja

uchikake = floor-length kimono overgown, often worn as part of traditional wedding regalia but originally formal court garb

Ittan-momen = cloth-monster that smothers people

Harionago = woman with sharp hooks at the ends of her hair

Shin = clam that creates mirages

Nurarihyon =imposter spirit

A/N: Kakashi meets the Kamen children and Minato, then shows once again that yes, he is indeed a genius. He just can't be bothered most of the time. Nurarihyon is what Ame re-named the ROOT operative called 'Fuu' from the original canon. 'Torune', the other original operative, has also been renamed and will appear later, as will 'Hyou', who only made one, brief appearance. Shin is still Shin, the ROOT nin who was like a brother to Sai, who will also retain his original name. Ittan-momen is a former clan ninja, presumed deceased. Any guesses as to his original affiliation?


	51. Naruto: Preparation

Happy Easter for tomorrow to all and sundry. Rejoice!

**Naruto: Preparation**

The day before the chunnin exams were due to start Naruto woke up late. This was not much of a problem since in the last week Kakashi-sensei had concentrated on honing their abilities rather than working them to exhaustion. He had even warned them yesterday that he was likely to be even later than usual today.

With this in mind, team seven had agreed to have a lie-in and congregate two hours later than usual so the wait would not be too tedious.

Naruto's lie-in had only been an hour long, since he planned to ambush Konohamaru and his two friends and possibly play ninja with them for a little while. The honourable grandson had hunted him down repeatedly in the past two months, wanting to play, but the blond had only been able to indulge the boy a few times. On the other occasions he had been too tired, too injured or too overworked to do more than leave a shadow clone with the kid, which Naruto considered to be cheating.

Dressed and breakfasted, the whisker-marked jinchuuriki set out to Ichiraku's, Sakura joining him as he wandered past her apartment; it seemed he wasn't the only one with nothing to do with their extra time.

A few days ago Kakashi had organised a spar with the other two rookie teams, during which Sakura had used a brand new jutsu on team ten. Said technique -which bore the deceptively innocuous title of 'sakuri no jutsu'- had completely obliterated the three victims' chakra control. It had also proved impossible to disrupt or dispel; in the end Hinata had had to shut down all their tenkutsu and then reopen them. That jutsu had ended the spar, and Kakashi had escorted her away shortly afterwards, leaving Naruto and Sasuke to practice by themselves. When sensei and kunoichi returned several hours later Sakura had dazedly informed them that the enigmatic jounin had made her register for clan status, making her expanding repertoire of cruel and unusual techniques Haruno clan hijutsu. This meant that she would only have to teach them to her eventual children or a chosen oathbound successor, thereby protecting her from unscrupulous and ambitious individuals looking for power.

She had also told them -rather dispiritedly- that her 'hiccup technique' had been ranked as S-class and that she was expressly forbidden from using it on allies outside of controlled and supervised test conditions.

Naruto's own forays into jutsu creation were currently limited to fuuinjutsu, which he was getting much better at. Kakashi-sensei had learned the hard way to be wary of his trap seals, especially the triggered enclosures.

The blond and pinkette strolled companionably down towards Ichiraku's ramen stand, then past it as Naruto caught sight of the box Konohamaru frequently used to hide under while tailing him.

"Konohamaru, how many times do I have to tell you that rocks aren't square?" Naruto sighed.

There was a soft bang and smoke erupted from under the box. Half a minute later Konohamaru was standing in the alleyway, coughing so hard the goggles on his forehead bounced, alongside a plump, bespectacled boy and a girl with vertical orange pigtails, both of whom were also wearing goggles on their heads. Naruto ignored their flamboyant -and vaguely inappropriate- introduction with practised ease as Sakura rolled her eyes behind him.

Then the young Sarutobi had the magnificently dumb idea of insulting Sakura's appearance, causing The Smile to blossom on her face.

All of the rookie genin and their senseis had learned to fear The Smile. When Sakura was planning on violating your body in unspeakable ways her face would relax, her eyes soften and the corners of her mouth curl up into a gentle smile. Then she would strike mercilessly and relentlessly. Sarutobi Asuma now automatically extinguished his cigarette when talking to her and Aburame Shino never strayed inside her reach when they sparred. Her jutsu were located in the previously unexplored grey area between ijutsu and genjutsu, making them as obscure and hard to counter as they were unpleasant.

Naruto, recognising the danger his favourite minion was in, told the younger boy to run and gingerly placed a hand on his kunoichi team-mate's arm. Sakura looked at him -making him flinch- then nodded. Reassured that she had no intention of using actual jutsu on an academy student, Naruto let her chase after the honourable grandson, following behind at a swift jog. Konohamaru needed to learn to watch his mouth and learn a little tact and this was as good a method as any.

"Oi!"

_Oops. It seems the Konohamaru Corps wasn't watching where they were going._ Naruto rounded a corner to see a boy dressed entirely in black with a cat-eared hood and wearing kabuki makeup hoisting the Sandaime's grandson up by the collar.

It was the faint traces of youki on the older boy that caught Naruto's attention however; this genin -a Suna-nin by his hitai-ite- had spent a lot of time in close proximity with a jinchuuriki. _An earth and wind natured one with truly appalling impulse control._

_Who is watching us from up that tree over there. Hm. And the girl with Kabuki Boy is somehow familiar-_

"Put me down!" Konohamaru shrieked.

"No, I don't think I will," the suna genin said mockingly. "You need to learn not to run into your betters, brat."

_A bully as well. Wonderful._ "Suna-nin-san," Naruto said calmly, donning his courtly poise and manners like an expensive kimono, "please release Sandaime-sama's grandson before the ANBU see fit to interfere. A diplomatic incident at this point in time would be most inconvenient, considering the upcoming chuunin exams."

The ninja in kabuki paint started, stared incredulously as Naruto then hurriedly put Konohamaru down. The honourable grandson swelled up like a bullfrog, but the whisker-marked blond intervened before the tactless little squirt could make things even worse.

Konohamaru, apologise for your lack of care. You are training to be a ninja and should pay attention to your surroundings," Naruto scolded gently, steel underlying his mild words. The boy scowled but bobbed a bow.

"Gomen, ninja-san."

"Hm." Kabuki Boy seemed at a loss for how to continue now the confrontation was over. Sakura picked this moment to join in:

"I take it you are here for the exams?"

"Aa," the blonde girl with four pigtails said from behind Kabuki Boy. "I am Temari and this is Kankurou."

"And your team-mate up that tree?" Naruto asked, pointing. Both the Suna genin looked up, startled. Naruto also looked up, since he'd not actually _seen_ the jinchuuriki yet.

A redhead with teal eyes ringed in black with pale skin and the kanji for 'love' etched in blood red on his forehead stood on the underside of a high branch, a large gourd strapped to his back. He smelt of sand, blood and misery to Naruto's keen nose and his chakra held hints of gleeful insanity.

The redhead shunshined down to ground level in a swirl of sand, wide, crazed eyes fixed on Naruto. The blond jinchuuriki bowed fractionally, never breaking eye contact. "I am Uzumaki Naruto, holder of the ninth, tanuki-san," he said softly, too softly for his words to carry to the other jinchuuriki's team-mates. One of the things Yoko was teaching him was manners, specifically proper forms of conduct to observe when faced with other jinchuuriki, bijuu or true youkai. Especially daiyoukai.

The redhead stilled, head cocking to one side as if listening to a voice no-one else could hear. "I am Gaara of the Desert, holder of the first, kitsune-san," he rasped, voice carrying but harsh with disuse. "Your territory?"

"My people," Naruto corrected agreeably. "No killing outside of self-defence or pre-determined challenges and no physical harm to civilians." Pigtails and Kabuki Boy seemed to find the conversation confusing and were staring at Naruto like he was standing there nude in orioke form. The girl had even done a 'kai' to check it wasn't an illusion. Sakura was standing quietly to one side being inconspicuous; Naruto had shared a little of his bijuu education with his team-mates so she knew what was going on.

"Acceptable," Gaara muttered after a pause, chakra spiking oddly.

"Then you are welcome here so long as you continue to comply," Naruto said agreeably. "Would you care to join us for ramen?" Offering food or shelter was part of his duties as host.

"Baki-sensei said to meet back at the hotel for lunch..." Kabuki Bo -_Kankurou, his name was Kankurou_- Kankurou ventured waveringly. The older two were clearly terrified of their jinchuuriki team-mate, which was rather upsetting when their base scent indicated they were all siblings. The KI Gaara was radiating made it somewhat understandable though.

"Shut up," Gaara said flatly. He seemed to be fighting some kind of internal battle. _His seal must be completely shite for his bijuu to have that much influence over him. That gourd on his back is saturated with youki, no human chakra at all. And there is something else twined through the youki, something that shouldn't be there..._

"Nice kabuki paint, Kankurou wasn't it?" Naruto said cheerfully, trying to lower the tension. After all, dealing with a jinchuuriki whose bijuu was possessed by an unpleasant-looking ghost must be very trying, especially when the seal holding the bijuu in was that pathetic.

"Arigatou," Kankurou said, hand rising briefly towards his face. "Most people don't recognise it."

"Uncultured barbarians. My tutor insisted on theatre training as part of my education in stealth and disguise," Naruto said blithely. "The symbolism and depth of meaning is quite fascinating."

"Hai," the sand genin agreed, relaxing a little. "What kind of parts did you specialise in?"

"Mainly onna-gata; Bando-sama said I have a gift for it."

Kankurou's eyes bulged. "Onna-gata? What did Gaara call you-"

"Kitsune."

"Fox... _fox?_" that last word was almost a squeak as Kankurou's fear levels spiked.

"I am well sealed and properly balanced," Naruto said blandly, ignoring how both sand-nin -who were likely older than he was and certainly taller- tried to back away from him without actually moving. Gaara was still arguing with his bijuu a little off to one side and ignoring everyone. "Your team-mate's seal, however, has been thoroughly botched. There is a restless spirit intertwined with his tenant and both are poorly contained. I'm amazed he's still alive; the kami must love him."

Both Temari and Kankurou looked even more horrified, which Naruto hadn't believed possible. The blonde girl shifted restlessly as her eyes flickered to take in their surroundings. No other ninja were with in hearing _-other than Sasuke up that tree over there-_ so she leaned forward slightly. "Can it be fixed?" She murmured.

"Naruto nodded. "Ame-kaa-san could do it easily. She's good with seals; part of her calling."

Gaara's head shot around and his eyes bored into the whiskered blond's. "Calling?"

"Ame-san is Yogensha," Naruto said carefully, "and marked by the kami as such." Recognising those who were kami-marked was something else Yoko was teaching him, helped along by having one such a rare person on hand. The Kyuubi insisted that Ame's primary kekkai genkai was a token of immense divine favour and Naruto was not going to question _that._

"We will visit the Yogensha now," Gaara said flatly, leaving no room for dissent as the sand around him twitched. Both his team-mates looked incredibly relieved by the decision.

This way then," Sasuke said, dropping out of his tree. The six genin left, the Konohamaru corps having already gone back to their games.

* * *

After leaving the genin from Suna -it turned out they were the current kazekage's children- to Ame-kaa-san's impeccable hospitality team seven made their way to the bridge where they usually met with Kakashi. Ame seemed to have known the three sand-nins already and had insisted on them staying for a while, which Naruto thought was odd but not entirely unlikely. Ame-kaa-san was very unusual after all.

To pass the time waiting for their tardy sensei Naruto produced a pack of cards and dealt out a hand of a bluffing game. The blond's ridiculous good luck at games of chance was less of a problem since this particular game relied partly on strategy, but the jinchuuriki still won twice as often as his team-mates. They were well into their sixth game when Kakashi-sensei arrived.

"These are the admission forms for the chunnin exams," the jounin said conversationally. "To enter you need to fill them in and bring them to the examination hall before the first test tomorrow. If you don't think you're ready, don't enter."

"When and where _exactly_, Sensei?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"All the details are on the forms," Kakashi said cheerfully, "so read them thoroughly."

"Will we need supplies, like on a mission?" Sakura prodded. Her questioning was generally more successful than the boys' efforts because, although less powerful than Naruto or Sasuke in the strictest sense, she was much less inhibited when inflicting pain. Not to mention far more ruthless.

"Maa, that would be telling," Kakashi hedged. "No missions or training today so you can prepare for tomorrow. Ja ne!" He fled in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto caught his team-mates' eyes. "Supplies," they chorused, then set about reading the forms their sensei had given them.

* * *

"So," Sasuke said half an hour later, putting away his pen.

"First exam starts at ten tomorrow morning," Sakura went on, "and the second exam at noon. That's immediately after. It doesn't say however when the second exam will end or the third begin, which is suspicious."

"The third exam is a over month ahead and probably public," Naruto said, "and I know from my sources that the second exam lasts several days."

"We definitely need rations and supplies then," Sakura said firmly. "We'll have to take them with us into the first exam in case there's no time in between to grab them."

"weapons?" Sasuke asked. "I'm taking my ninja-to and usual kunai, shuriken and ninja wire. Probably more extra ninja wire as well for traps and stuff. He paused. "I'll buy food pills for everyone since I'm the only one not paying rent."

"Cheers, teme," Naruto said. "I'll bring my wakizashi and tanto, usual throwing weapons and as many tags as I can fit. I'll make up individual bundles of different types according to your preferences in case we get separated."

"That's a good idea," Sakura agreed. "I'll wear my gauntlets as usual and bring my new ribbons just in case." Sakura was learning to use ribbons as the silk strips could be used like rope or like wire, or even charged with chakra for other purposes. Naruto had only dared called her 'tentacle-girl' once. "I'll also

carry an advanced medical kit if you to bring standard first-aid scrolls."

"Deal," Sasuke said instantly. "Everyone carries enough rations for a week and two days' worth of water."

Naruto nodded. "Remember to seal extra layers of clothing or bedding for sleeping rough. I can give you both more sealing scrolls in you need 'em: I make a mint selling them through Tenten's dad's shop. I'm amazed how few jounin know even basic fuuinjutsu."

"Dobe, that's because you have to be a bit crazy to be good with seals. Zabuza and Kakashi-sensei actually agreed on that, and they think you're _seriously_ strange since you are unusually good with them."

"Fine, be that way teme," Naruto pouted. "See if I give you any of my new and improved shock tags."

"New and improved?" Sasuke repeated curiously, eyes gleaming in a way Uchiha's usually associated with fire. According to Ame-kaa-san, most Uchiha were closet pyromaniacs. Sasuke however preferred electrocuting people; the fact that electrocuting people sometimes set them on fire may have had something to do with it.

"I've got the intensity and frequency just right to completely scramble the victim's nervous system for ten minutes unless they're a lightning master like Kakashi-sensei. Chakra manipulation of any kind is impossible for another five minutes after that as well. They work equally well wrapped around a kunai or as a trap seal; impact released once keyed. You can even do remote detonation if you like. I pranked the police with them last night just to make sure."

Sakura sighed. "Naruto-baka, you are incorrigible. Honestly."

The blond grinned sheepishly. "It was that or booby-trapping Sasuke's front step, but that's against the Rules and I didn't want you to torture me today, Sakura-chan."

"Hopelessly incorrigible," Sasuke grumbled, getting to his feet. "Let's go prepare."

* * *

Notes

Sakuri no jutsu = hiccup technique; causes the victim's tenkutsu to spasm at irregular intervals as the diaphragm does when a person has hiccups, making their chakra flow irregular and difficult to regulate. Can only be countered by closing all of the affected tenkutsu, letting the jutsu disperse then reopening them. As the jutsu spreads through the victim's system, it is safest to close _all_ tenkutsu rather than risk a relapse. S-rank hijutsu.

Onna-gata = in kabuki theatre, men and women may not appear on stage at the same time; acting troupes are single-sex. Therefore, female parts are all done by men. Said men are called onna-gata and have special training to successfully mimic all female mannerisms. Due to his upbringing and experiences, Naruto is very, very good at it.

the Rules = team seven's evolving code of conduct, or How To Survive Alongside Or Against The Four Lunatics (and whatever else the rest of the rookies and their senseis will come to call them).

A/N: Meet the sand trio, plus a little insight into bijuu etiquette. What this means for the invasion is yet to be determined. Note also that Kakashi is no longer secure in his ability to subdue team seven, preferring flight to possible conflict. He probably could beat them, but they'd be dead, not subdued.


	52. Kakashi: Trust

**Kakashi: Trust**

Sharingan no Kakashi was a shinobi with very high personal standards. An undisputed genius, he had reached jounin level at the tender age of thirteen. Considering he had had to match his barely-teen physique against adult ninja in their prime, this in itself had indicated massive future potential.

Tragically the death of his favourite rival followed shortly after by the demise of his beloved Sensei had severely stunted said potential as Kakashi had been consumed by grief. Refusing to put more effort into improving than was absolutely necessary to remain in ANBU, Kakashi had coasted along for over a decade without seriously exerting himself. Considering this was the period in which he ascended to ANBU captain and gained his nicknames -one of with was 'the man with a thousand jutsu'- the amount of wastage involved was staggering. He could have reached kage level at twenty had he not been so depressingly lacking in drive.

Ame's healing of the copy-nin's mind and the frankly embarrassing confrontation with Momochi Zabuza had been the kick in the pants the jounin desperately needed: by the week of the chunnin exams Kakashi was rapidly approaching sannin level and had reached a level of mastery of lightning manipulation unheard-of outside of the Kumo elite. His skill level was still rising and the former-ANBU's standards for his students were correspondingly high. Team seven had thrived under the intense pressure, though Kakashi had to be careful not to break them. He'd been a chunnin for four years by their age, after all, and a jounin by the time he was thirteen, which Naruto was now. They would obviously be behind where he remembered being at their age.

Considering the aforementioned standards and the amount of sheer effort getting his team up to solid chunnin level had required, Kakashi was somewhat peeved that people seemed to think he was entering his genin into the chunnin exams for the hell of it. _Has my newfound dedication not been noticed? I haven't been more than an hour late for anything in months! I even hand my reports in mostly on time! What's the point of making an effort to improve if nobody notices?_

_Of course, I could scare the pants of anyone wanting a fight if I wanted to. Hm. Maybe I should accept a challenge from Gai and flatten him before we even get started. That might be fun._

_Sakura is starting to seriously affect my thought processes._

"They're too young and inexperienced, Kakashi-san!" the chunnin on desk duty -_it would have to be Umino Iruka today_- protested. "They've barely been genin for five months!"

Kakashi respected the chunnin -the Academy instructor actually liked Naruto- but the man was slandering his student's competence, which the copy-nin was not about to let slide. "Have you such little faith in their abilities?" the jounin drawled, eye never leaving his orange-jacketed copy of 'the nervous system and how to hijack it'. _Where does my koi find these books? I really hope this one is not in general circulation; Inoichi would kill for what is in here._ "Besides," he added over Iruka's incoherent defensive stammering, "they're my soldiers now; have been since they accepted their hitai-ite. I believe they will perform admirably."

"No shit," Azuma mumbled around his cigarette. Team seven -and Sakura in particular- had left an indelible impression on the other two rookie teams and their senseis. Kurenai had taken to scanning her surroundings periodically for seals -Naruto's ingenuity knew no bounds and held nothing sacred; you were _never_ safe- and Azuma's cigarette vanished from his mouth whenever the bearded jounin caught sight of a specific shade of pink. Kakashi only regretted he had been unable to schedule spars against team nine; Despite being a year older, the copy-nin was sure the students of his 'eternal rival' would be creamed by his own adorable genin trio.

Of course, Kakashi himself had learned there were things you just didn't do to team seven unless you actually wanted them to discard all inhibitions and make what remained of your life humiliating, short and agonisingly painful...

1- You do not try to stab Naruto in the back; Sasuke will _really_ try to kill you. It had been the first and only time the Uchiha had gone into a cold fury. The chilling determination to maim had been thoroughly disconcerting and had only ended when Naruto himself carefully talked the younger boy down.

2- You do not try to maim Sakura; Naruto will blow holes in you with youki. That inch-wide hole through his shoulder had been the most excruciatingly painful and debilitating wound he ever remembered receiving. Worse, Naruto had only been aiming to maim; a kill shot through his head would have been just as easy for the blond to perform. The scar still ached sometimes and Kakashi would never, ever underestimate the range of the jinchuuriki's chakra tails ever again.

3- Never, ever go for Sasuke's eyes; Sakura can do things to the human body that would make Mitarashi Anko weep with envy. Her medical genjutsus were the most unpleasant and humiliating things the jounin had ever experienced and her hiccup technique was as dangerous in its own way as the Nidaime's Edo Tensei or the Yondaime's Hiraishin. The young kunoichi had invented the Sakuri no jutsu in two weeks as an experiment after a chat with Hinata. _Two. Weeks_. Aged _eleven_. Okay, so Naruto had also invented an S-rank technique on a whim -that blasted Orioke Kakashi himself had succumbed to before he banned it during spars- but it was getting slightly ridiculous. The copy-nin lived in fear of what Sasuke would come up with.

With all of this in mind, the jounin was rather looking forward to watching the chunnin exams; seeing what happened to unsuspecting genin who knew not the Rules of team seven -of which the three aforementioned 'don'ts' were part- promised to be highly entertaining. At least to those not immediately involved who enjoyed a little sadism every now and then.

"Then all three rookie teams will participate in the chunnin exams," the Sandaime said firmly, ending the discussion.

"I also nominate my team, hokage-sama," Maito Gai said jovially. "I desire my students to gain experience and show off their Fires of Youth!"

"Have they killed yet?" Kakashi asked laconically, eye never leaving his book.

"Kakashi! What an Unyouthful question!"

"But nonetheless a valid one," the copy-nin persisted. "Team seven is fully blooded, which is a good part of why I am confident they have the necessary skills and experience to excel in the exams. Are your teams blooded, Gai, Azuma, Kurenai?"

There was a short silence in the hokage's office. Kakashi read this as proof that his was indeed the _only_ blooded team represented. _What an unnecessary stumbling block for their students._

"They are likely to have to kill in the exams and I have ensured that my team is fully prepared for that eventuality," Kakashi said quietly, radiating irritation. "My genin understand the truth of what it means to be a shinobi: it is not about power, glory, skill, honour or self-affirmation. It is about protecting what is precious to us -our village, comrades and kage- by any means necessary, killing for it and eventually dying for it. They have taken that lesson to heart and chosen to live by it. Can your students say the same?" He shunshined off before any of his stunned audience could formulate a response; he already knew what their answers would be.

_Coddling genin will only stunt their growth in the short-term and get them killed in the ling run. I am proud of what my team has achieved in the last four months, if not of the methods I have resorted to to get them that far. The exams will be easy for them and they will be promoted, if not immediately, then in short order._

Hatake Kakashi went home over the rooftops of Konohagakure, utterly confident in his students' competence.

* * *

A/N: Yes, Kakashi has ridiculously high expectations. No, he really can't help it. Yes, team seven are much more prepared for the harsh realities of ninja life than their age-mates.

A/N2: Odds, Ends and Outtakes -my oneshot collection- has a new addition. It's a scene with Gaara and Naruto set towards the end of the time-skip. Not exactly brain breaking, though I kinda like it for all that it's fluffy. Plus, I like how totally unphased Gaara is by Naruto's gender... issues. It just doesn't bother him. Go Gaara!


	53. Naruto: Leap

**Naruto: Leap**

The morning of the chunnin exams team seven met up early at Naruto's apartment to go over their gear and pack it into the colour-coordinated set of sealing scrolls the blond fuuinjutsu specialist had created for the occasion.

"Here, teme: tags," Naruto said, chucking a gold-banded bundle of seals at his black-haired team-mate.

"Thanks," Sasuke grunted. "Nice outfit, by the way."

Naruto was not wearing his usual grey kosode and hakama. In their place he had on close fitting, mottled olive trousers and turtleneck, the trousers wrapped at the bottom and tucked into flexible leather ankle boots. Over the top he wore a thigh length, rapeseed-oil-green kimono patterned with a dizzying array of leaves in all shades of green and brown, belted with an elegantly knotted, pale brown obi decorated with feathers and skeleton leaves in shades of brown and grey. The overall effect was a cross between formal court attire and forest camouflage, stylish yet eminently suited to hiding amongst trees.

"Arigatou; you look good too," Naruto replied. "As does Sakura, as always."

Sasuke was wearing his usual dark blue, but had progressed from a tee-shirt to a round-collared, long-sleeved Chinese-style top damasked subtly like leopard spots. Instead of shorts he wore black cargo pants with innumerable pockets and loops and solid boots with steel toecaps instead of sandals. His family crest, the red and white uchiwa fan, was barely visible on the back of his collar under his shaggy hair. He looked very Uchiha-like, yet nothing like any of the Uchiha Naruto remembered.

Sakura on the other hand wore dark red leggings and a sleeveless v-neck top, exposing the high neckline and long sleeves of the fine mesh armour all three wore under their clothing. Over this practical yet girly outfit the pinkette wore a white inin coat with a drab green lining that could be reversed for camouflage purposes; team seven had learned well the importance of being able to hide from their opponents. The armour was another lesson learned: protection from stabbing wounds was nothing to sneeze at, regardless of how much it cost in monetary terms. Sasuke's inheritance and Naruto's sealing skills had paid for the armour all three wore religiously and all three considered it money well spent.

All three also had camouflage paint and compounds designed to hide and confuse their scent tucked into their waist pouches and both the blond and the pinkette had brown kerchiefs to hide their hair under if necessary. In addition to waist pouches each also had kunai pouches tied to both thighs; Kakashi-sensei had targeted their dominant hands enough for the three of them to be capably ambidextrous. Storage scrolls were hidden inside coats -or in Sasuke's case, pockets and loops- and spare weaponry, emergency supplies and soldier pills were tucked everywhere they could be properly secured.

"Ready?" Sakura asked grimly, checking that the senbon-secured bun at the nape of her neck was firmly anchored.

"Hai," Naruto and Sasuke chorused, loosening their blades in their sheaths and bouncing on their toes to double-check that nothing would rattle or fall out.

"Then let's go."

* * *

The examination building was not hard to find; the genin of all ages, sizes and origins milling around outside were a definite clue. Team seven slipped nimbly through the crowd, handed their forms over to the chunnin at the door and moved inside. Once out of sight of the door they immediately switched to walking on the ceiling -_do the unexpected_ had been an early and well-learned lesson- and headed for the stairs at a brisk trot, ignoring the genin wandering around below. Being a ninja building each individual staircase was isolated from the others, so each floor had to be navigated in order to reach the next one. Curiously, they were the only team who had had the ingenuity to use the ceilings. _Is this what Kakashi-sensei meant when he said that most people, even ninja, rarely bother to think, let alone look underneath the underneath? If so, no wonder there are so few who reach jounin rank._

After a little while they reached a door with a crowd of genin outside trying to get in. Sasuke frowned. 'How many floors?' he signed.

'Two; illusion' Naruto supplied. 'Fan?'

'Hai?'

'Memorize.'

Sasuke flashed his sharingan over the crowd, recording faces and chakra signatures.

'Why?' Sakura signed curiously.

'Weak against illusions,' Naruto signed back. 'Fodder for Blossom.' The blond recognised the chakra signatures of the two individuals blocking the doorway; both were chunnin he had seen many, many times on guard duty at the front gates of the village.

The pinkette grinned like a shark. Sasuke tapped Naruto's shoulder and pointed off to one side:

'White-eyes.'

'Faker' Naruto agreed, narrowing his eyes at the Hyuuga. Neji was one of Rock Lee's team-mates and a capable ninja for all his arrogance. Unoriginal and severely lacking in nin or genjutsu, but skilled nonetheless. _And not one to be fooled by such a meagre illusion._

'We move on,' Sakura signed. Both boys followed her past the mass of genin towards the next flight of stairs. As they turned a corner they heard Kiba shouting at the two disguised chunnin behind them to "lose the dumb genjutsu, losers!"

"Idiot," Sasuke grunted as they hurried up the stairs.

"Akamaru's the smart one," Naruto agreed as the three of them dropped to the floor and rounded the corner towards the real exam room and Kakashi-sensei's waiting presence. The clump of semi-familiar chakra signatures just down the hall confirmed they had found the right place.

"Congratulations on arriving in time," the copy-nin drawled lazily, orange book dangling from one hand, "and all three of you together. You can only enter the chunnin exams as a team after all."

"You didn't mention that earlier," Sakura pointed out sweetly, "but since we entered so we could get promoted away from your rampant sadism, it follows that all three of us would be present."

"He, he," Kakashi-sensei muttered, sounding slightly abashed, "You're all here, aren't you? The first exam is through those doors," he pointed, "so remember what I've taught you and don't lose your heads. Oh, and team?"

Three pairs of eyes looked up at their sensei's lone grey orb inquisitively. The copy-nin smiled down at them, a sense of feral glee briefly radiating from his chakra presence. "Give them all hell from me, ne? Do me proud."

Naruto's wide blue eyes hooded. Sasuke flashed a toothy grin. Sakura blinked innocently. As one team seven pushed open the double doors and into the exam room beyond.

* * *

Half-a-dozen teams with different hitai-ites stood scattered about the large room, all of whom looked over to see who had just come in. Naruto ignored the hostile audience, leading the way over to where his fellow rookie genin, Nara Shikamaru, Akiminchi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino were standing. Ino, Naruto was intrigued to notice, did _not_ jump Sasuke and proclaim her undying love. Instead his fellow blonde was eyeing the object of her obsession as if he were a delectably decadent ice-cream confection she desperately wished to devour, but was too dedicated to dieting to so much as sample. Sasuke ignored the longing stare but somehow ensured Sakura was standing between him and the die-hard fangirl.

"Yo!" Naruto said cheerfully to Shikamaru. "Nice to see we're not the only rookies here."

"Troublesome," the Nara grumbled. "Asuma really pushed us after he found out how hard Kakashi was training you guys; you set a high standard."

"Unlike you three, the team is all we really have," Sakura said shortly. Her family was determined to snub her team-mate, so she continued to return the favour. "Training is how we do most of our socialising."

"Please, whatever happens, just don't use _that_ jutsu again?" Chouji mumbled, pulling out a new packet of crisps.

"Not against allies; it's against the Rules," Sakura agreed lightly.

"Rules?" Ino asked cautiously, eyes flicking from Sasuke to Naruto before settling on Sakura.

"Team seven has rules that we all follow. Some of them apply to us and others apply to Sensei. Kakashi-sensei has four major rules to follow while we have eight. Eight so far that is," Naruto explained as the double doors opened to let in at least six new teams, all arguing amongst themselves. "There are minor rules as well, but they are less important."

"What are the rules?" Chouji asked.

"Rule one:" Sasuke drawled, his voice mimicking Kakashi-sensei's, "Nothing is forbidden unless Sensei says it is, when Sensei says it is."

"Rule two:" Sakura said sweetly, "Honour and decency are for samurai and fools; Konoha has no use for samurai and Sensei doesn't train fools. Get used to it."

"Rule three:" Naruto smiled, remembering an encounter with a particularly stubborn individual who had refused to accept that the 'Demon-child' was now a ninja and protected by law, "Mercy is for people who can afford to give their enemies a second shot at killing them. You can't afford it and are not allowed to show it." Kakashi-sensei had taken the bastard's head off on his student's behalf.

"Rule four:" Sakura continued, "Incapacitate when sparring but in battle always kill. Or maim, at the very least; your enemies will do no less."

"Rule five:" Sasuke picked up, "Test new jutsu on enemies, clones or animals, not your team-mates. Or your Sensei, _Naruto_," he added, smirking at the blond jinchuuriki who put his hands behind his head and whistled innocently.

"Rule six:" Naruto sighed, "There's nothing wrong with a strategic retreat when faced with a superior opponent. Just make sure you _are_ retreating to safe ground and are not being driven into a trap."

"Rule seven:" Sakura supplied, "You can never have too much information or supplies."

"And rule eight:" Sasuke finished, "An enemy to one is an enemy to all. The odds are better when you stick together. So act accordingly."

"Those are the main ones," Naruto explained, "and there are more little ones, but those are mostly rules for sparring partners and opponents rather than for the team."

"Rules for opponents?" Ino repeated faintly.

"'Don't make Naruto lose his temper' is the main one," Sakura said wryly. "Kakashi-sensei learned that the hard way. Got a nice scar to remember it by, too."

"'Don't suggest Sakura is weak' is another one," Naruto added, not wanting to be singled out. "Kiba's lucky she stopped when Kurenai intervened or he would no longer be mostly sane."

"_Mostly_ sane?" Shikamaru repeated, bemused.

"No ninja is sane, Lazybones," Naruto said dryly; "just look at our senseis."

"Is there a rule for Sasuke?" Chouji asked.

"Yeah: 'Sasuke hates people who gloat. So don't.' Sensei only does it when he wants to push teme over the edge," Naruto said amicably. "There's more than that but those are the main ones."

The doors were pushed open again to reveal team eight, Kiba looking a little worse for wear. "Hey, the gang's all here!" the Inuzuka said boisterously. "We're gonna ace this thing!"

Shino said nothing. Hinata glanced at Naruto, blushed and poked her forefingers together.

"Calm down; you're antagonising everyone else even before you've begun," said a warm, smooth voice to Naruto's right. The blond narrowed his eyes at the feel of the newcomer's chakra. _He's no genin, though he disguises it well; definite medic, high chunnin to low jounin reserves and highly refined. Bet he performs almost as well as Sensei in the field with control like that. Plus a kekkai genkai -or something like it- that smells like blood. Fresh, tangy, arterial blood. Leaf hitai-ite though; a plant to keep an eye on the rest of us perhaps?_

"I'm Kabuto, by the way," the strange ninja added, light reflecting off his round glasses and catching on his silver-lilac hair, "Yakushi Kabuto." Naruto disliked him on principle; that hair colour reminded him of Touji Mizuki, the traitor who'd tricked him into stealing the forbidden scroll.

"I've got information on all the various hidden villages and the ninja attending the exams on my ninja-information cards," the nineteen-year-old continued in a friendly fashion, producing a pack of cards and pushing chakra into one of them to reveal a map of the Elemental Nations.

"I take it you've done this before?" Shikamaru asked.

"He, he," the older genin chuckled, "this is my seventh time. These exams are hard."

"Or you are not taking them seriously," Sasuke said coolly.

"I suppose," the bespectacled genin sighed. "Anyway, we're all Konoha ninja so we should stick together. Is there anyone you want information on?"

"Redhead from Suna," Sakura interjected, signing 'caution' out of sight of their new friend. "He's on a team with a blonde girl with a fan and a boy in kabuki makeup. The redhead leaks KI all over the place."

"Give me a sec'," Kabuto mumbled, shuffling through his cards, "ah, here we are: Sabaku no Gaara, youngest son of the Yondaime kazekage. On a team with his older siblings Temari and Kankurou, has completed, hm, eight C-rank missions and hey, one B-rank? That's unusual; he must be very good. Oh, and check this out: he returned from all nine missions without so much as a scratch."

Team eight and team ten looked intimidated. Sakura just looked thoughtful. "Which other nations send ninja to compete in the Konoha chunnin exams, Kabuto-san?"

Kabuto produced another card. "Well Konoha of course, then Suna, Kusa and Taki as the village has treaties with those nations. Ame is neutral so they send ninja along as well. Iwa hasn't sent anyone here ever due to the wars, Kiri still has a civil war going on and is hemorrhaging ninja all over the place without deliberately allowing them to leave the country and Kumo hasn't sent anyone since-" he glanced at Hinata, who cringed a little, "-in a long time," he amended. "Oh, and there are various teams from the numerous lesser villages like that new one in Rice country -I think it's called Oto- but they don't really count."

Naruto sensed that quite a few shinobi were a tad offended by that sweeping dismissal -Kabuto wasn't exactly being quiet- but the only really angry ones were a trio with hitai-ite adorned with a musical note; likely the aforementioned Sound-nins. One of them lunged for Kabuto, swinging a gauntleted fist at the nineteen-year-old's face. Naruto slipped out of the way of the attacker -whose face was almost entirely hidden by bandages- and quietly palmed his tanto, letting the blade hide amongst the folds of his left sleeve. _Sensei may say they are impractical, but I think long, loose sleeves have more advantages than disadvantages when you are used to them._

Kabuto appeared to have dodged the blow completely, but then his glasses shattered and he fell to his knees and vomited.

"Not so weak are we, Konoha scum," the hunchbacked, gauntleted ninja's spiky-haired team-mate gloated arrogantly, chin jutting aggressively.

"Silence, maggots!" another voice roared as the double doors were thrown open to reveal Morino Ibiki at the head of a large crowd of chunnin dressed in grey and carrying clipboards.

Naruto groaned. _Why'd it have to be Scarface? _

* * *

A/N: And there we have the Rules, which are in no way related to 'What Team Seven Is Not Allowed To Do (unless Sensei is watching and/or taking bets)'. Being better trained, it follows that our three heros would take the exams far more seriously than in canon.

A/N2: I am now working on an InuYasha fanfic which needs to be written if I am to continue writing APitG. Hopefully this, too, will make its way online. Oh, and a big 'Hello!' to everyone who watched the royal wedding today! No, I am not a royalist per se but I enjoy a bit of public spectacle as much as the next person.


	54. Naruto: Pressure

**Naruto: Pressure**

Naruto slumped at his desk, Hinata on his right and a stranger on his left, as one of the examiners handed out test papers. Ibiki stood at the front of the classroom being generally intimidating. The rules the head of the T&I Department had written on the board were of the type Kakashi-sensei would set: twisted. There would be loopholes in there somewhere, Naruto could sense it, but the blond's mind was not particularly attuned to riddles. Or the kind of abstract problems on the test paper, for that matter.

In order to fill the time until his brain caught up with what Scarface _really_ wanted, Naruto set about identifying and categorising the chakras of the genin present. This was something he did whenever he was bored, and he subsequently had the best memory for chakras -and faces- in the entire village. He literally knew almost everyone, by chakra if not by sight.

_Standing water, paper and steel; Rain genin, low chakra levels, probably dependant on weaponry. Poison -both animal and vegetable- citrus and bamboo; Grass genin, decent reserves. Bark, weapons' oil and green tea- wait a moment. That's Oukei. He's a chunnin, has been for three years. What's he doing taking this exam?_

Naruto pondered the puzzle, scanning his fellows more broadly. _There are chunnin plants in every row, who obviously know all of the answers. If I cheat more than four times all of team seven gets kicked out._

_So I need to cheat once, so it doesn't matter if I get caught, and get as many answers as possible in one go. _The blond made a cross seal under the desk, focusing on the completely blank test sheet in front of him. _Perfect._

A second, identical sheet poofed into being on top of his own. _I love shadow variants. The clones are so versatile and the kage kunai and shuriken jutsu provide the basis for creating solid copies of pretty much anything._ He seallessly kawarimi'd the shadow copy with Oukei's mostly completed test paper when the disguised chunnin glanced around for a moment, then quickly kawarimi'd the copy with his own, original blank paper. Mission accomplished, the shadow copy dispersed in a wisp of chakra smoke. Naruto erased the name on the paper and replaced it with his own, deeply amused by Oukei's surprise and irritation at losing all his answers. The irritation was self-directed and tinged with amusement; the chunnin clearly couldn't believe some genin had just got the better of him. _Remote kawarimi may only work when you swap a something with chakra with something without -the less chakra the better- but it is still the most useful of the jutsus I know._ The third-person kawarimi was Naruto's latest and greatest achievement to date and had been converted into seal form to make it less chakra intensive. The technique had saved team seven's hide many, many times.

_That's six out of nine questions answered. Now I just have to wait until Scarface gives us the tenth one._

* * *

While Naruto was patiently waiting for phase one to come to an end one team after another was evicted from the exam room for cheating too frequently or -Naruto suspected but couldn't prove- blatantly. One Suna-nin got a little rowdy at the prospect, only to get pinned to the wall and psychologically crushed by a chillingly confident Tobitake Tonbo. The blind chunnin was both stronger and faster than he looked.

Thinking about Tonbo gave the genderbending blond confusingly warm and fuzzy feelings which he resolutely tried to ignore. _Benihime may have a crush on him but that doesn't mean male-me has to have one, too. Bah. Kaa-san was right: having flesh clones of the opposite gender running around creates sexual confusion. Hime likes men and some women, but she's my sub-self, my female alter-ego._

_As a guy... well, Kurenai's hot. So was Tsunami, if a bit soft. Tenten's pretty too, if a bit too hung up on Neji for my tastes._

_But I just thought Tonbo looked good as well. Is that because Benihime does or is it gender-independent?_ Naruto pondered, test paper trapped face down under one arm while his other hand fiddled with his pencil. _What would tou-san think of my sitting here and pondering my sexuality during the chunnin exams, I wonder? _

Naruto froze as a forgotten memory surfaced. _How did I forget that? When Sasuke and I accidentally kissed, what I disliked was that it was Sasuke, not that he was male._

_Damn, I like both as either. At least I'll never be short of options._

_I really, really, need to stay away from the Seduction corps._

Seduction corps was a small branch of ANBU that dealt in espionage and assassination and recruited the attractive and physically gifted. Being essentially a kitsune in human form and a natural at seduction, Naruto wanted to stay as far from them as was possible: Sex was about fun, not killing. He'd had to tell Ibiki a little about his hidden abilities during the post-Wave interrogation and had explained his subterfuge as being out of fear of getting shunted into Seduction and never being aloud out again. Scarface had let it slide, recognising that it really was raw terror in the blond genin's eyes: very few people actually cared about the psychological well-being of the 'Fox-brat', and if anyone knew he could shapeshift he might have been recruited already, age be damned. _I may go into Seduction as a sideline when I'm older, but on my own terms._

A sense of smug amusement radiated from his gut. Naruto guessed that utter indifference to gender of both oneself and one's lovers was something he had in common with his inner bijuu.

* * *

The first fourty-five minutes ended and Ibiki gave those who remained the additional rules for the tenth question: pass or fail, and if you fail you never get to take the exam again. Or opt out now and take your chances next time.

Naruto wasn't going to drop out now: Not only would his team-mates kill him, he'd have to spend however-much-more time with and _extremely disappointed_ Kakashi-sensei until the next chunnin exam he was allowed to attend! Plus, being a jinchuuriki it was unlikely he would be allowed to attend anyone else's exams. Ibiki's constant hiking of the room's KI levels finally caused him to retreat into his 'academy idiot' shell and he shouted to the whole room that he'd got this far and wasn't about to quit. He would make chunnin! He was going to be the hokage -_which I don't even want anymore_ the more rational part of his mind commented- and no dumb exam question was going to stop him!

His outburst did completely ruin the atmosphere Scarface was trying to create, which enabled him to re-emerge. He was, of course, extremely embarrassed to have completely lost his cool like that, but he hadn't cracked and that was what mattered. _If they think you're crazy they won't push you; crazy is dangerous,_ Ame-kaa-san had told him once, eyes glimmering strangely. _You can't understand crazy, so it cannot be worked around or deciphered._

Then Ibiki took off his headscarf to show the genin who'd made it this far the horrific scars on his scalp. Naruto was not grossed out in the slightest; as Benihime he'd seen them all before. Touched them, too. Besides, Tonbo's were much, much nastier: the blindfolded chunnin had bits of skull showing through his scars here and there and no eyeballs at all.

Scarface was just explaining to the room the purpose of the written test -it _had_ been about cheating discreetly- when Naruto sensed the rapid approach of a terrifyingly familiar chakra signature. The blond spun in his seat, signed 'she-snake' to his team-mates and dived under his desk. As Sasuke and Sakura followed his example the window at the front of the classroom shattered as something -in this case, some_one_- flew through it. _Sometimes I hate Mitarashi Anko. Crazy snake lady and her bloody dango obsession. _

As Naruto cautiously poked his head over the edge of the desk he noticed that a good third of the examiners had also ducked; in fact, all of those who had were the ones who had been looking in his direction when he signed to his team. Anko however didn't seem to have noticed his diving for cover; she was too busy complaining to Ibiki about the number of teams he'd allowed to pass his test.

"Never mind," she added cheerfully as Naruto resettled in his seat, her face decorated with a bloodthirsty grin, "I'll cut them in half during the next stage!"

The blond banged his head on his desk, making sure not to poke his eye out with the pencil. _Why did it have to be her? What did I do to deserve the crazy snake lady whose idea of training involves poisonous snakes and projectile weaponry! Okay, so she's nice underneath but she hides it very thoroughly._

"Hey, gaki!"

Naruto looked up. Anko was now standing right in front of him and leaning over his desk, her revealing clothing just visible through the gap in her trenchcoat. "Hai?" he ventured.

"Looking forward to the next stage?" the purple-haired tokubetsu jounin asked sweetly.

"Not so much now I know you're running it," Naruto replied truthfully. He never lied to Anko. He respected her far too much for that.

"Oh, you wound me brat, you really do. Trust me, it'll be fun! If you survive, that is!" she cackled. "Come on, everyone! To training ground forty four!"

The blond whimpered again as he joined his team-mates as they all filed out of the room and out of the building.

"Dobe, which one's training ground forty four?" Sasuke whispered.

"Remember that time Sensei chased us over that fence and into those jumping leeches, then called off the exercise so we could escape?"

Sasuke paled.

"Yeah. That's the safe outer fringe. There are tigers in there, as well as more giant insects and other nasties."

Sakura sighed. "We'll have to get high up. There'll be less traffic in the canopy."

"At least it isn't Kakashi-sensei we have to fight against," Naruto pointed out optimistically.

* * *

A/N: And the first test is over. Next up: Into the forest of death!

A/N2: Naruto's two lives are starting to intersect and the effects of his kinjutsu usage are emerging. Of course, having a bijuu in your gut is just as likely to warp you in interesting ways... The Seduction corps show up in various fanfics although they are not canon; more something that is probably there as an ANBU subset -dirty jobs under the radar- but never explicitly mentioned. Being who he is with the training he has, Naruto would be terrifyingly brilliant at it.


	55. Naruto: Freefall

**Naruto: Freefall**

Team seven kept their heads down as Anko explained the second test, dutifully signed their release forms and collected their scroll. There was a brief scuffle when the purple-haired tokubetsu jounin threw a kunai at Naruto for not paying attention -the unfamiliar, long-tongued grass kunoichi's chakra was creepy- but team seven was soon standing by their designated gate waiting for the exam to start.

When the bell rang Naruto instantly created a grunt-clone that henged into a copy of their Heaven scroll.

"Here," he handed it to Sasuke, "swap. I'll hide the original." The Uchiha complied as they hopped up the trees, seeking the advantage of higher ground.

"What're they feeding these things?" Sakura grumbled as they reached the canopy, as high above ground as the tallest village buildings if not higher.

"Genin?" Naruto offered, only half in jest. There was a short pause as all three pondered how true that suggestion might actually be.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted. "Strategy?"

"Get two-thirds of the way to the tower, dig in and lie in wait," Naruto said promptly, glad for the change in subject matter. "It's easier to work from a secure position and we have enough supplies to set up a _real_ trap field." Kakashi-sensei had taught them enough about traps that the jounin had to be visibly careful when approaching an area they'd fortified. Naruto didn't know who good they were really, but they'd impressed Maito Guy before he flattened them.

"Seconded," Sakura agreed. "But we work from up here. Less ambush opportunities and fewer natural predators."

"It is preferable to keep to the high ground," Sasuke conceded. "Very well then; lead on taicho."

"I hate you guys so much," Naruto grumbled, but nonetheless took point and led off towards where the map Anko had briefly shown them indicated the centre of the training grounds was. Ever since Wave both his team-mates and Sensei had taken to calling him taicho whenever he took charge of a situation. Kakashi-sensei was the worst: he'd done it at the Hatake compound and now _all_ the Kamen kids -some of whom looked suspiciously Uchiha-like to his mind- called him 'nii-taicho'. Even Inutaicho, who was already called 'taicho' by the younger kids.

* * *

The next morning Naruto woke slowly and yawned widely, scanning his surroundings for hostile presences. _Ozone, feathers and seeping rot; Sasuke is awake and on guard. Soil, tension and cherry blossom; Sakura is asleep, as is her inner presence._ The odd internal chakra presence Sakura had -which manifested in the slip-second she lost her temper and punched someone- felt a little like a kekkai genkai, making Naruto wonder where bloodlines came from exactly. _They can't possibly all be created by demonic mad scientists._ The same flavour of forest earth and feel of cherry blossom petals was constant in both chakras, but the inner was imbued with a wild lack of inhibitions that was the polar opposite of Sakura's normal and rigid self-control.

Beyond the perimeter of their carefully hidden base camp was a very long fall to the ground -_down_- a great many birds, insects and other arboreal species, some with significant chakra and some without -_around_- and a thin layer of leaves shielding them from the open sky -_up_. Further out around ground level were..._ Hm. Large carnivorous plants that suck chakra, giant... spiders? Three teams, two fighting and one almost dead._ Naruto made a shadow clone and sent it to raid the dying team's supplies as he slipped out of his hammock. He needed food; lots of it. Part of the downside to being a jinchuuriki was a metabolism like a blast furnace.

"Morning, teme," he said absently, rifling through his supplies, "decent night?"

"Aa," the Uchiha agreed. "Most everyone hasn't got this far yet, I don't think. We can ambush people today and be at the tower by evening," he added, pulling out a ration bar of his own and joining Naruto in eating breakfast.

The shadow clone returned and dispelled just as Naruto was finishing his meal; the memories made him snigger so hard he woke Sakura.

"A team died about ten minutes east of here, killed by carnivorous plants they stumbled into while escaping giant centipedes," Naruto chortled. "Early twenties, didn't even _think_ of going up the trees."

"That's pathetic," Sasuke said flatly.

"Worse: They were Konoha genin," the blond added.

Sakura groaned. "That's just embarrassing. What a waste. What scroll did they have?"

Naruto examined the booty his clone had taken. "Just our luck: Another Heaven scroll. Sasuke, you take it since the scroll-clone's dispelled now. It's good to have a spare."

"Hn," the Uchiha grunted. "Plans?"

"We go down to where the other genin are and pick a fight," Naruto said. "Strike from above in ambush, incapacitate, loot and leave."

"Kill?" Sakura asked.

"Unless they're fellow Leaf-nins, yes. Of course if our fellow ninja attempt homicide then we respond appropriately," Naruto clarified. "Sound good?"

"Aa," Sasuke agreed, loosening his ninja-to in its sheath.

Months of pitched battles had forged team seven into an efficient combat unit. Naruto was the tank, dealing and receiving heavy damage at close range while Sasuke danced around his jinchuuriki team-mate to deal debilitating wounds without presenting a target. Sakura would hang back out of sight and cast at the enemy from cover to weaken them so her male comrades could deal the final blow.

They had had grandstanding, arrogance and any sense of fair play beaten out of them in the first three weeks; the Taki team they ambushed never stood a chance.

"Well? Sakura asked as she pulled kunai and shuriken out of the tree trunks.

"Score," Naruto said shortly, concealing the bloodstained Earth scroll on his person. "Anything else worthwhile on them?"

"Weapons, clothing," Sasuke grunted, stripping his kill with brisk efficiency, "Very nice ninja-to made to channel elemental chakra. Shame he was so crap at using it; must have been a rich civilian-born to wave something like that around without proper training."

"I've got three water jutsu scrolls here," Naruto said absently as he packed up a well-made set of senbon, "and some senbon set up for poison."

"I've got a set of three sai and a lot of wire," Sakura added. "Ideas?"

"Keep the sai; we'll practice with you after the exams," Naruto said, "but give teme the wire. The reel he used on moron here," he kicked the stripped corpse at his feet, which had horrific electrical burns, "has kinks in it now."

"Hai," Sakura agreed. "Catch, Sasuke-kun."

"Arigatou," Sasuke grunted. "Here; this scroll says it has medical herbs in."

"Neat."

"Let's move on," Naruto said uneasily, glancing around at their surroundings. "It doesn't feel right here anymore. Too quiet."

It really was too quiet. Team seven swiftly packed up and set off at middlingly high branch level towards the central tower.

'Fan, Blossom. Enemy behind' Narutp signed as they hopped from one tree to the next. 'Alone, high level. Twisted.'

Sakura blanched. Naruto used _twisted_ to describe corrupted chakra, such as some of the ninja in the maximum security prison had; they'd had a D-rank mission near there once and the blond had been queasy the entire time. It generally meant the ninja referred to so enjoyed inflicting pain it had permanently tainted them.

'Spiral, how strong?' Sasuke signed back urgently.

'Above Sensei' the blond replied tersely. The signs both Sasuke and Sakura made in response were obscene. Naruto was frantically trying to work out a plan when there was a burst of chakra and the wind picked up.

"Shit! Hang on to something!" the blond shouted as the highly concentrated gust of wind blasted him out of the tree and away from his team-mates.

* * *

A/N: Ok, so this is a cliffhanger. Unfortunately it is a necessary evil. Team seven's primary shatter point is immanent! What will happen next? Dun dun DUUN!


	56. Sasuke: Prey

**Sasuke: Prey**

Sasuke was worried. It was practically his job on team seven: he was the one who poked holes in his team-mates' grandiose strategies. He was also the only one who seemed to be aware that some minor kami had it in for team seven. Maybe it was the number; 'Shichi' was supposed to be unlucky after all. First there had been the misclassified mission to Nami and the mess with Gatou and his goons, then Kakashi-sensei had done his utmost to permanently main them under the excuse of 'training' and now they were facing an unknown, probably-S-class nin during the chunnin exams. _No wonder the bell test was so hard; Sensei had to be sure we'd survive long enough to make training us worth his time!_

"Sakura, fall back," the Uchiha murmured as the wind died down again.

"Plan?" the pinkette whispered worriedly, gripping the branches around her so tightly her knuckles were white.

"Stall until Naruto returns, attack then run for the tower," Sasuke decided. Sakura nodded and faded into her surroundings with a single handseal.

Sakura's affinity was earth; however the kunoichi lacked the reserves for elemental manipulation. Kakashi had shown her four Doton jutsus and told her to concentrate on genjutsu and ijutsu and leave elemental manipulation until after she made chunnin and her body had matured more. Sakura had nodded obediently, mastered the jutsus in question and integrated some of the principles involved into her genjutsu. Her camouflage technique was one such nin-genjutsu hybrid, requiring very high control but very little chakra to produce an effect on par with the A-rank Mesai Gakure jutsu Sensei sometimes used to sneak up on them.

Confident that Sakura would be watching his back and exploiting all the openings he could give her, Sasuke drew a pair of kunai, quickly checked his wire spools were accessible and fell into a defensive stance. He did not have to wait long.

"What have we here? A Konoha genin all alone, and an Uchiha at that," the pale skinned grass kunoichi said as she emerged through the branches of a nearby tree. ""Just the kind of person I was looking for."

_That does not sound good. Where's Naruto when you need him?_

"And you are?" Sasuke readied his kunai, relieved beyond words he had learned Mantis. This was not an opponent he cared to exchange blows with.

"Ku ku ku, I'm no-one special, Sasuke-kun." The Uchiha flinched at the way the kunoichi crooned the endearment. "I do have something you want, though." She held up an Earth scroll, then wrapped her obscenely long tongue around it and swallowed it whole. "Now, if you kill me you can have it. If I win however, you will die." She looked up to meet his eyes for the first time.

The sudden burst of Killing Intent would have paralysed Sasuke had the Uchiha not spent the past months being repeatedly beaten bloody by Hatake Kakashi. In their fourth 'survival exercise' the jounin had blasted them with KI and gone straight for the kill. Only Naruto's instinctive counter-blast of Kyuubi-KI and a wave of sacrificial shadow clones had prevented that fight from being over in seconds. Sasuke was now as inured to KI as only someone used to fighting alongside a jinchuuriki could be. He hopped further out of reach and down towards ground level, leaving the heights to Sakura.

"Ooh, not as weak as you might be, are you Sasuke-kun? This will be interesting after all," the strange kunoichi taunted him. "Aren't you going to attack?"

_I hate opponents who want to chat. Naruto is bad enough and Sensei is terrible. Whatever happened to just killing your enemies and getting it over with?_

"Very well then, I'll start," the kunoichi cooed, then the world filled with fire.

Sasuke kawarimi'd to safety, briefly used his sharingan to pinpoint his opponent and flung a barrage of shuriken at her under the cover of a flurry of little fireballs. It was one of his favourite moves, one he used interchangeably with plain fireballs just to keep Kakashi-sensei on his toes. Another quick flash of sharingan located where the kunoichi had kawarimi'd to and he threw two lightning-charged kunai at her then swiftly moved around the small clearing, surreptitiously attaching tags here and there.

"Clever little boy, aren't you Sasuke-kun? A little genius just like your brother."

Four months ago Sasuke would have succumbed to a blind rage at hearing those words. Now he ignored the taunt -_IamNOTmybrotherDAMMITsothere_- and went on circling, seeking an opening.

"Ignoring me are you? We can't have that-" the attack came so fast Sasuke didn't even get to breathe before the tug on his chakra told him Sakura had used the remote-kawarimi seal Naruto had insisted on tattooing them all with and swapped him across the clearing to safety.

"Arigatou," he mumbled as the dented log fell to the ground and the kunoichi turned, tongue flicking like a snake's as if to taste his presence.

"Orochimaru," his pinkette team-mate whispered back before ghosting away again.

_The rogue sannin? Dammit, I knew the kami hated us. Calling your team 'seven' is the kiss of death for three-quarters of the members._

"You _are_ fast, little Uchiha," the disguised shinobi purred. "I'll have to step up my game a little if I want to witness the power of the sharingan."

Somewhere above them, Sasuke knew, Sakura had just snapped. She _hated_ it when people went for his eyes in any way, shape or form. He flung a barrage of kunai, which were dodged, then used the wire tied to the hilt loops to entangle the sannin and sent electricity down the wire, as much as he could handle.

The earth clone crumpled instantly, prompting Sasuke to move. An explosion just to the right of where he'd been standing proved it had been a good idea. _Take that; I love Naruto's tags, no sense of restraint in explosions._

"Well, well, well," the _irritating_ voice of his opponent rang out, "Aren't you a feisty one, Sasuke-kun. You ruined my disguise." A slim hand peeled the blackened feminine features away to reveal the visage Sasuke recognised from the Konohagakure bingo book. "Let's see how you deal with the unexpected, shall we? It's been a while since I had this much fun." The sannin smeared a splash of blood across a tattoo exposed by his tattered left sleeve. There was a burst of chakra smoke, which cleared to reveal Orochimaru perched on the head of an unnaturally large viper.

_Summons. Where's a jinchuuriki when you need one?_ Sasuke kawarimi'd again, this time with a pre-prepared log wrapped in Naruto's improved shock tags that he'd set aside earlier. The sound like ripping fabric, shriek of reptilian fury and stink of burnt flesh were highly gratifying. _I don't care what Iruka-sensei says, Naruto's pranks have all the hallmarks of a master of guerrilla warfare strategy._

The snake, hissing furiously through badly burned lips, turned swiftly and lunged at him, missing by a few feet. _Genjutsu. Go Sakura!_

_Gah. Naruto-proximity is infecting my mental processes. It was a very tactical use of genjutsu though._

The snake turned and lunged again, this time clipping his ankle with the force of an insulted Akiminchi.

"Wait!" he stalled, staggering upright and digging through his pouch. "You want the scroll, right? If I give it to you will you leave?" It wasn't like the one he was offering wasn't the spare...

The snake stilled as Orochimaru straightened on his perch on the reptile's skull. "I'm not really interested in the scroll anymore, Sasuke-kun; you are far more fascinating. I want to see your pretty red eyes."

"Ya know," came a blessedly familiar growl to Sasuke's left, "that sounds kinda perverted." Naruto lunged at the snake summons, the tail of his fully manifested chakra cloak piercing its right eye and dispelling it with a keening wail. "Okay you snake-wielding pervert," the orange-eyed, gore-covered jinchuuriki rumbled, "Now it's my turn."

Sasuke fell back to watch for openings and catch his breath as the renegade sannin immediately upped his game in the face of a genuinely dangerous opponent. Much as he disliked admitting it, Sasuke knew Orochimaru had just been toying with him.

"You alright?" came a familiar female whisper from behind him.

"Sore," Sasuke grunted, flexing his bruised foot. A burst of medical chakra soothed the battered appendage:

"Don't put your weight on it without chakra reinforcement or you'll damage the tendons too badly for me to fix," the pinkette murmured, eyes looking past her patient to where the brawl was evolving.

"Get him with Sakuri," Sasuke muttered viciously as Naruto's chakra cloak flared then was snuffed out as the blond fell unconscious all the way down to the ground, "that'll slow him down." His eyes bled red as his fully evolved sharingan whirled angrily. _What did he do to my team-mate!_

The anger kept him going for a little while but two minutes after attacking Sasuke had a twisted knee, several bleeding wounds and had been completely disarmed. Orochimaru idly tossed the ninja-to aside with an unnaturally wide smile. "You are all I had hoped for and more, Sasuke-kun. For that I'll leave you a little something to remember me by." The sannin's head was suddenly by Sasuke's ear as the S-class nukenin's neck elongated unnaturally. Then the world exploded into white-hot agony centred on the left-hand side of his neck.

"All the power you could possibly desire in one tiny package," crooned the sickening voice as Sasuke felt himself losing consciousness, "Power only I can fully unlock for you. Ja ne, Sasuke-kun."

_I'll join you when Naruto puts a blanket ban on ramen,_ Sasuke tried to say as everything went black.

* * *

A/N: So yes, it is another cliffhanger. Unconsciousness will do that to you. Nonetheless, the encounter with the snake sannin went a little better and a little worse than in canon. I hope the differences make sense to everyone. A big thankyou to all my reviewers; even just a few words make all the difference to a writer. I'm really writing for those who write back. Oh and myself, of course.

Next up, I have finally caved and written a chapter from Sakura's point of view. Oh, and she is not happy with the status quo. Be very afraid.


	57. Sakura: Damage

This chapter is dedicated to Bad Habits, who has asked repeatedly to read a chapter from Sakura's point of view. I trust it satisfies.

**Sakura: Damage**

Haruno Sakura was pissed. Scratch that; she was absolutely _livid_. Orochi-asshole had done something to Naruto which messed with his jinchuuriki seal, burned their spare Heaven scroll and _bitten_ Sasuke-kun on the neck. The bitemark was oozing darkly and a disturbingly seal-like pattern was emerging on the nearby skin, which gave her some form of justification for what she was about to do to Naruto, since _he_ was the fuuinjutsu expert.

The shock tag brought the blond rudely back to consciousness.

"Gaa!"

"Shut up; you shouldn't have fallen unconscious in the first place," the pinkette snapped irrationally. "The S-class sadist put a seal on Sasuke-kun that is starting to look a little like his sharingan."

"Lessee," Naruto slurred, body twitching in odd places as the lightning bounced around his system. "Ooh. Nasty. Can't fix it instant; can buy time." He produced a paintbrush and eyed his spasming fingers mournfully. "S'gonna be piss-poor, but it'll give us time for somethin' better."

The 'piss-poor' solution involved stripping Sasuke to the waist and painstakingly painting symbols and squiggles over his torso, then activating the resulting mess with a few handseals.

"Tha; done," Naruto mumbled, ears twitching. "Now we hide. Don' wanna get ambushed while fixing him."

The blond's drunken stagger irked Sakura no end, but between them they somehow managed to ferry Sasuke into a small cave created by the roots of one of the massive trees. Once inside the kunoichi allowed Naruto to set up a new and improved seal perimeter while she scanned the darkening seal on Sasuke's neck with the most advanced diagnostic jutsu she knew.

"It's a cancer," she whispered, horrified, when Naruto returned, still twitching but far less severely. "It's made up of these little tumours-" she pointed at the three comma-shaped marks clustered beside the bite "-which replicate and pump out corrupted chakra and the poison Orochimaru injected into him. The poison is a cocktail of steroids, depressants, mutagens and at least a dozen other chemicals, most of which are illegal, addictive and highly damaging to the body's more delicate tissues. The cancer is trying to propagate throughout his body, probably to make him dependent on the chemicals produced so he would be easy to manipulate. Addicts will do anything for their next fix." She paused, remembering fondly for an instant how she'd used Azuma's addiction against him. That had been a very clever little ijutsu, in her own opinion. "Some of these drugs are used in interrogations or to brainwash sleeper agents. The total combination is more likely to kill him than anything else!" the pinkette fumed, working herself up to a rant.

"Get me a rabbit an' I'll fix it."

"Sakura spluttered, brought up short. "What?"

"Seal transfer; it ain't set yet. A rabbit," Naruto repeated helpfully, the stress he was under only discernible by the degeneration of his speech patterns into slum vernacular. "Hurry though; not much time left."

The plan registered and Sakura ran, letting her body take over as her higher mind gibbered about the terrible damage the sannin had inflicted on her precious Sasuke-kun and how it could effect the Last Uchiha's chances of siring children.

_We'll save him! _Her inner shouted over her rising panic. _We'll catch that rabbit, Naruto-nii will fix him and Sasuke-kun will be ever so grateful we saved the future of his clan!_

Inner Sakura was the one who first insisted on Naruto being their big brother, as well as constantly advocating violence as a way of solving any and all problems that arose. Sakura herself preferred more subtle means of retaliation, but there were times -like now- when she itched to bludgeon a problem into submission. _At least I did catch Orochi-asshole with my tenkutsu hiccup technique; I hope he blows himself up._ She'd only clipped him in passing, so it would take a while for it to spread through his system. A medic might be able to delay the effects, but the results would bloom in all their glory when the snake sannin attempted any particularly large jutsu after the next few days grace period.

Rabbits proved to be oddly scarce; She had to make do with a squirrel. As the pinkette hot-footed back to camp she desperately hoped it would be enough.

The inside of the cave stank of blood and ink when she arrived. Naruto accepted the paralysed squirrel, shaved a patch of its fur off with his tanto then carefully positioned the bare patch over the poison seal on Sasuke-kun's neck. "This will be messy," he warned her, then activated the seal matrix.

There was a purple flare, a scream that chilled her blood then Naruto was struggling to subdue a mutant hell-squirrel that had somehow acquired fangs, horns, extra-long claws and very disturbing body markings. "Kill it! Kill it!" the blond squeaked, fending off the rabid rodent. "Sakura _help!_"

It took a great deal of killing -Sakura herself nearly had a heart attack when it got up again after being impaled on a kunai- but when it finally stopped twitching the pinkette incinerated it with a minor Katon jutsu.

"I am never going to mock Sensei's squirrel phobia ever again," Naruto muttered, swapping his wounds with disinfectant. "How's Sasuke's neck looking?"

Sakura examined the Last Uchiha as thoroughly as she had chakra for. "One tomoe is completely gone, another is much paler but the third is only slightly weakened," she told Naruto grimly, "and the chemical are being replaced -if slowly- as we speak."

"Hmm." Naruto's face took on a familiar expression that set her nerves on edge and made even her inner nervous.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I know that face. Talk."

"Well, the seal is full of both corrupted chaka and poison, and the poison is what enabled the chakra to be corrupted, since it messes with his mind, right? And it's designed to make him serve Orochi-teme, which is why it has brainwashing chemical in, as well as acting as a chakra booster."

"Ye-es? Go on," Sakura pressed.

"Well, if I opened the block Orochi-teme put on my jinchuuriki seal, the rush of youki coming out to restabilise my system could be channelled into Sasuke's seal, burning out the poison and corrupted chakra without deactivating the seal itself, which is beyond my current capabilities," Naruto babbled out in a rush, then cringed.

Sakura's forehead developed a tic and she was just about to bawl him out for coming up with such an _utterly moronic_ solution when a scroll she'd read on cancerous growths leaped to the forefront of her mind.

"That might actually work," she conceded slowly, lowering her fist. "Tumour are usually more sensitive to toxins than normal tissue anyway so you may theoretically be able to burn out the disease without giving Sasuke-kun chakra poisoning. Especially since you can actually control the youki toxicity a little now."

"So, yes?" Naruto ventured tentatively.

"Yes," Sakura said firmly. "What did the sannin do to you anyway"

Naruto shed his gore encrusted kimono and pulled up his jumper and armour. "It's a Five Elements' Seal. My jinchuuriki seal is a Six Point Binding, so the overlap of odd- and even-numbered seals completely shuts off my access to Yoko. Which totally screws up my chakra control because Old Foxy's locked inside my navel gate, so shutting him off leaves me a gate short. Plus, his youki's been trickling into my system since I was born so I'm adapted to it and not removing the seal soon could damage me. Youki's strange stuff, though, not like chakra at all, so there may be some odd side-effects for teme. Shouldn't kill him though; I can channel more yellow ki in afterwards to help him heal."

Naruto's youki could be red or yellow in addition to the standard orange, which Sakura deduced was similar to chakra being made up of mental and physical ki. The red energy was the toxic stuff, while the yellow reinforced the body. Naruto often used the yellow energy to give them a boost in a fight or help her with field healing.

Sakura thought about it. "This is a 'lesser of two evils' thing, isn't it? At least your way the fox can help us predict the side-effects. Do it."

"Okay, but I'll pass out afterwards so my system can adjust properly."

"For how long?"

Naruto shrugged as he laid Sasuke on the ground and set up a smaller seal perimeter around him. "I should wake tomorrow morning, maybe? I bounce back pretty quick. Watch out 'cause Sasuke's likely to be, er, not himself when he wakes up from all the chemicals and chakra bouncing round his body."

"Noted." Sakura watched as Naruto closed the barrier with both him and Sasuke inside it.

The blond pointed at the tags set out at intervals among the scrawled symbols painted on the earth. "These seals will absorb the extra chakra released when I do this so as not to draw anyone or anything else here while we're out of it. Once charged they'll act like the flash-bangs I used against team eight that one time, except they'll hold a combination of chakra and youki. That means they'll be _very_ potent, so make them remotely detonated, please? I don't want you going blind."

"Hai," Sakura agreed. One of the lesser Rules was, _you do not argue explosions with the fuuinjutsu and kyakujustu specialist; or do you _want_ to blow yourself up?_ Sasuke had only disregarded that rule once, and Sensei had said he had been lucky to survive his mistake. Explosions were unforgiving.

"Okay, ready," Naruto muttered to himself, carefully removing his top and armour so the seal on his stomach was clearly visible, along with some nasty black bruises on his ribs, spine and abdomen. "Get set and... go." He placed his left hand on the half-faded seal on Sasuke-kun's neck as the fingertips of his other hand glowed and he made a twisting movement over his stomach.

The explosion of blue around the seal was swiftly followed by an aggressive flare of vivid orange over his entire body, which the blond channelled into Sasuke-kun's neck. The Uchiha's eyes shot open and rolled back into his head as his spine arched violently. The scream tore from the black-haired boy's mouth like a knife to the eardrums and kept on going as wisps of purple around his head and shoulders were burnt away by fiery orange and utterly consumed. Then the scream stopped, the youki faded to yellow and retreated and Naruto collapsed on his side, skin pale and clammy. "Score," he croaked.

Sakura nipped over the perimeter -the seals of which had glowed neon orange throughout the procedure and were only now cooling to umber- and swiftly worked her most sensitive diagnostic jutsu. "The tumours are completely gone," she confirmed, relief making her body sag towards her patient. "What remains of the chemicals is mostly broken down and should be flushed out of his system in a day or two. Thank kami that worked." She examined the seal itself, which was now the bright red of a fresh bruise and was tender to the touch. "Seal structure looks to be intact, but all the corrupt ki is gone. It's full of youki now; it almost glows with it. Whatever the seal was supposed to do with the corrupted ki it will probably do using youki instead, which we will have to watch out for."

"Good," Naruto croaked. "Better bound to me than Orochi-teme."

"Bound?" Sakura repeated suspiciously. Her seal knowledge was negligible, but even she knew what slavery seals were.

"'Splain later. Yoko needs to fix me: internal damage," Naruto sighed before passing out. The pinkette paled at that news and dashed to his side, hands frantically signing a more generic diagnostic technique:

_He ruptured all kinds of things when Orochimaru dropped him after he lost the youki protecting him and they've been getting worse ever since! He even has a spinal fracture and I electrocuted him, made him help me with Sasuke! He was dying and I never even bothered to check him for injuries!_ Stricken with guilt, the kunoichi unsealed the blond's bedding and made him as comfortable as possible before doing the same for Sasuke-kun. Then she ate lunch -more ration bars- and tried to rest up a little.

Unfortunately the lack of things needing to be done just left time for her deep, bubbling and bottomless fury to rise to the surface. Both Naruto and Sasuke-kun had been taken out, their strengths targeted precisely. The pinkette was intensely protective of her team-mates as said strengths were also glaring emotional weaknesses.

Sasuke-kun's kekkai genkai was intensely valuable to Konoha, yet village law dictated he was not allowed to live outside the Uchiha compound. Worse, non-Uchiha were not allowed to move in either, leaving the quiet, stoic boy to live alone amongst the ghosts of his former family. _At least he's not living in the clan mansion anymore; the apartments by the compound gates hold no terrors as they were empty at the time of the massacre._ The reverence he was held in by the civilian population only isolated the Uchiha further; it had come as a shock to Sakura to learn that Sasuke-kun considered Naruto to be his first and best friend when they had never even had a proper conversation until after graduation. The pinkette had stomped down on her infatuation then and there, choosing to be a friend as well rather than continue to pursue him romantically. It wasn't like she had friends to spare, either.

The situation was completely the opposite for Naruto: his burden made him the most despised person in the village. The only civilians who treated him like a fellow human being were the people at the ramen stand and the geisha in the hanamachi. The latter actually treated him like family; Sakura had felt terribly plain and unsophisticated watching her blond team-mate tease beautiful women in elegant kimono who laughed at his jokes and teased right back, fluttering fans and eyeing him flirtatiously. That one D-rank mission had opened her eyes to the reality that there was far more to Naruto than she had realised possible. _If he'd been born female he'd never have become a ninja at all. They love him down there. I would never have realised that Naruto liked to flirt, play cards and sing without them all pushing him to show off with them. _

Of course, each boy also had similarly contrasting relationships with their source of power. In a complete reversal of how they were perceived by the village, Sasuke hated his kekkai genkai as much as Naruto cared for his tenant.

The sharingan was a responsibility and a burden to Sasuke: his brother had used a forbidden variant of it to slaughter the rest of his clan and torture him. Worse, its entire power lay in theft and deception, copying what others had worked hard to learn or create and layering illusions to ambush the more technically gifted. The hypnotic factor -making others, do, say or forget things- was just as bad to Sasuke's mind. To the Last Uchiha the sharingan was a cheat, a tainted tool rather than a proud heritage.

Conversely, Naruto rather liked the Kyuubi bound in his gut. From what the blond had let slip Sakura thought the bijuu sounded like a very bad-tempered warrior who had been forced to retire in his prime, hated teaching 'snot-nosed, hard-headed brats' -a direct quote- but pragmatically recognised that doing so was necessary. Both harsh and consistent, the nine-tailed fox was a surprisingly capable tutor and knowledgeable on a wide range of subjects. Naruto was expected to remember and understand everything Yoko threw at him but the blond never flinched from the day's lesson, no matter how dull or bizarre.

Knowing their quirks and secrets made her team-mates precious to her; being unable to help them or take revenge for their injuries made her furious.

Deciding to put her energy and malice to good use, Sakura stripped herself and her unconscious team-mates of any and all trap supplies and set about building a minefield to utterly crush anyone dumb enough to come after her boys.

* * *

A/N: Sakura, meet the public. Readers, meet Sakura. Keep your distance, please: she bites. Sakura is acharacter with massive potential that is barely touched on in canon until after the timeskip, and even then she is pretty much Tsunade mk. 2. In fact, team seven in canon are pretty much the sannin all over again with 'the man with a thousand jutsu' replacing 'the professor'. I think this is a cop-out and have therefore made life more difficult for myself as a writer by making Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto into truly unique ninja. And yes, there will be more Sakura in future; this is not an interlude.


	58. Sakura: Vengeance

**Sakura: Vengeance**

Sakura slept badly that night, the aftermath of killing the genin from Waterfall compounding with the confrontation with the rogue sannin and Sasuke's close brush with death to create an endless parade of nightmares. What woke her was the outer perimeter proximity seal, alerting her of three chakra presences entering the outer ring of her trap field. _Probably not Leaf-nin then. I set up the standard marks to warn of a minefield carved in trees around the outer perimeter._

The pinkette sat up and washed her face with a wet rag, hair hanging down her back as the senbon securing it had come loose during the night. Finger-combing it back and retying her hitai-ite to keep the long tresses off her face, Sakura inverted her coat so the olive green was on the outside and put it back on, crawling out of the inner secure perimeter Naruto had set up before passing out to the command post she'd set up. Detonators and triggers to hand, the kunoichi waited for the intruders, patient as a spider.

_Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly..._

The squirrel was a bit of a let-down. Sakura's new-found dislike of the little rodents dictated however that she throw something at it. A handy pebble was sacrificed for the cause and it fled, revealing an exploding tag pasted to its back. _Ooh, that's just nasty and unnecessary. That's it; whoever you are I'm going to hurt you, affiliation be damned._

One of the benefits her Inner granted her was the ability to focus on two senses at once. Sakura would concentrate on what she saw while hearing was delegated to her Inner. Naruto's example showing her how inferior most genjutsu were had encouraged her to hone her senses to the point she could discern and occasionally break a great many normal illusions simply by focusing on their inconsistencies.

For example, her senses were telling her that there were three people hiding in the bushes opposite her -coincidentally on top of a remotely triggered flash tag- one of whom was female and two of whom were much smaller than the third. Sakura guessed the array to be small-male, large-male, small-female, but she wasn't certain. _Only one way to find out..._

The pinkette absently triggered the tag concealed behind the bush the unknown genin team were using as cover, closing her eyes and protecting her eardrums with chakra against the explosion. The cries of pain and fear were music to her blocked ears; Sakura smiled the smile that had seasoned jounin backing cautiously away and shivering with dread.

"Good morning," she said politely as the scorched trio with musical note hitai-ite stumbled out into the open.

"You blew us up you bitch!" the boy on the left shouted, the burns on his legs oozing slightly and looking very painful.

"You must be Orochimaru's minions; he mentioned you," Sakura went on lightly as her Inner snarled at the memory of the sannin's gloating, eyes drifting over the bandaged hunchback who seemed to be wearing a haystack to the kunoichi who had lost at least a third of her hair and was cradling a scorched hand. "Do you know why he would put a poisoned seal on my team-mate?"

"You're _asking_ us? After blowing us up?" the kunoichi hissed. "Are you retarded?"

"It's polite to ask before forcing the issue," the pinkette said absently, caressing another trigger tag. "Welcome to my minefield," she added as all the standard tags in a forty-foot radius went live. All three enemy genin froze, not daring to move.

"She's bluffing," the spiky haired one said after a long, tense pause. "There's no way she'd waste tags like that."

Sakura just went on smiling. _My team-mate is a seal specialist._

"Look how the ground's disturbed; she's useless at hiding things," the bandaged haystack added, stepping forward to poke a loose clod of turf.

Since he had missed Kakashi-sensei's lesson on misdirection, his confidence in her incompetence led him to step on one of the shock tags Sakura had liberated from Sasuke. The other two Sound-nin froze as their team-mate screamed, electricity arcing over the metal gauntlet attached to his arm as the scent of burnt flesh intensified.

"Why are you still here?" Sakura inquired, the picture of innocent curiosity as the haystack's screams receded to a low moaning, casually flipping a kunai between her fingers. "It's not like you can beat me: my sensei is Hatake Kakashi and my jutsus even scare him."

"Orochimaru ordered us to test Sasuke," the Oto kunoichi bit out angrily.

"He's still asleep; you'll have to make do," the pinkette said laconically, channelling Kakashi-sensei.

"Fine. We'll kill you first," the spiky-haired male said furiously. "I don't need to move from here to kill you."

Sakura calmly snipped a wire and channelled chakra through another tag. "Neither do I," she murmured as a log crashed down on top of them, forcing them to move to unsecured ground or be squashed. The haystack didn't get far -being unable to mould chakra for the moment- rolling forward through two fire tags and into a wire snare which dragged him sideways across a patch of nettles and into an ants' nest. The kunoichi landed on a tree inside one of the resistance perimeters Naruto liked to catch Sensei in, which activated as soon as she used chakra to stick to the bark. So long as she was moulding chakra she would only be able to move very, very slowly; the only way to escape was to completely let go of her chakra and freefall to the ground.

The spiky-haired leader jumped straight up and landed on the log she'd used in her trap, which would have been smart had she not lined the inside of the chunk of wood with heavy impact explosive tags. The log detonated, spraying fragments everywhere and peppering every inch of his body from his feet to his stomach with high-speed and very sharp shards of wood. The genin screamed in agony, pointing his hand at her and shouting incoherently before curling into a foetal ball. Sakura ducked, air whistling ominously over her head. _Wind user? Projectiles are useless then. Genjutsu it is._ She carefully targeted his vagus nerve, making the prone genin convulse and throw up over himself. _Score so far, Sakura six, Spiky and co. zero. _

"Bitch," the kunoichi up the tree hissed through her teeth, unable to move a muscle. The Haystack in the bushes eventually escaped the snare and stumbled to his feet, still smouldering and twitching as the ants crawled all over him.

"Die," he intoned blackly, levelling his gauntlet at her. Sakura was about to roll back inside the secure perimeter to set up a truly lethal counter-attack when someone she hadn't sensed approaching dropped from the trees and kicked her would-be attacker across the clearing onto another of the overpowered flash tags, this time an impact triggered one.

Sakura was about to thank her would-be rescuer and tell him to bugger off -damnit she was having _fun_ here- when the sight of green spandex and a shiny black bowlcut almost gave her a combat flashback. Taking several deep, calming breaths, she composed herself. _He is too short to be the Green Beast. Calm, calm, calm. _

"Ah, Rock Lee, isn't it? From team nine? You know Naruto?"

"Sakura-san, you are most Perceptive! Your Youthfulness knows no bounds!" the taijutsu fanatic gushed happily, eyes sparkling. "You are indeed the most Delicate Blossom of our generation and I shall keep my Youthful promise to you!"

"Delicate my arse," the vomit-covered pincushion in the middle of the clearing moaned lowly, agony straining his voice. "Pinky's a menace."

Sakura rapidly went back over her first meeting with Lee. It had been just after one of team seven's infamous survival exercises; Kakashi-sadist had been 'concerned' that they were tailoring their strategies to him specifically and had called in a green-spandex-clad, bowlcut, thick-eyebrowed lunatic who ambushed them whilst waxing lyrical about 'the power of Youth!' and pounded them into the ground with lightning-fast taijutsu. On their way home after their absolute destruction and defeat she and Naruto had encountered what appeared to be a shorter clone of the green nightmare who seemed to know her blond team-mate fairly well. Sakura had almost genjutsu'd the freak on principle; _no-one_ should have eyebrows like _that_. Fortunately for him however she had already been on her last legs and had only been able to lean on Naruto while the miniature green menace had raved about how lovely she was at the top of his lungs and swore to defend her to the death of some such rot. The pinkette hadn't really been paying attention.

Since the older boy had apparently been serious she decided to let him do whatever. It wasn't like her team-mates weren't perfectly safe where they were.

"Lee?" she whispered.

"Hai, Sakura-san?" the taijutsu fanatic replied happily.

"The traps are chakra triggered. You won't set them off even if you step on them, so go wild," she told him softly. _My good deed for the day._

Lee _beamed_, a twinkling sparkle appearing on his shiny white teeth. "Your Youth knows no bounds, Sakura-san! I thank you for this Generous opportunity to express my Youthful fire!"

The Haystack staggered to his feet again, facial bandages blackened and peeling and clothing scorched. "Shut. Up." He aimed his gauntlet at the green menace again.

The fight was brutal and short, ending in the Haystack landing face down on one of Naruto's experimental quicksand tags -she would have to tell him how effective they were- and Lee bleeding from his ears, his balance destroyed. From the egotistical monologuing and their hitai-ite Sakura deduced that all three enemy genin used sound in one form or the other when they fought. The Haystack used his 'melody arm' to attack the inner ear; Spiky Hair used high pressure air gusts. The kunoichi was however still an unknown.

Said kunoichi stalled up the tree finally worked out how to escape the trap field and dropped like a rock. Stumbling out of the underbrush, muscles twitching -there'd been another shock tag down there- she lunged for Sakura, pulling her out of the little hollow by the hair. "Gotcha. You're just another pathetic little civilian playing ninja aren't you? You spend more time on this pretty, silky hair than on your training. That's why you're relying on the trap field to take us out."

Sakura slashed a kunai through her pretty, silky hair, sacrificing it without a second thought as she channelled chakra though the special storage seals tattooed on the inside of her elbows. The gauntlets her team-mates had scavenged from the Demon Brothers materialised around her hands and forearms as she lunged for her assailant's throat. Despite being electrocuted the other girl moved just fast enough for the pinkette to miss her carotid artery, but Sakura still made a mangled mess of the kunoichi's left arm and right shoulder before the wounded Sound-nin regained her grasp on her chakra and kawarimi'd out of harm's way.

"Don't you just love the power of being underestimated," Sakura said conversationally, blood spattered over her from untidy hair to below her waist and dripping off the gauntlets' claws as she noticed the three new people who had entered the perimeter after she was pulled away from the alert tags. "You okay there Lee?"

"Sakura-san your Youth outshines the sun!" the green-clad genin said fervently as he wobbled to his feet.

"Come here so I can fix your ears," the pinkette said firmly, slipping into medic-made and resealing her gauntlets away so she could perform handseals, "And next time dodge faster."

"Hai! I will! And if I do not I will run around the forest of death one hundred times!" Lee declared exuberantly as Sakura carefully mended his abused eardrums.

"I know you and your team are over there, Ino;" Sakura added as she released Lee, "Piss off or I'll blow you up too. I'm not in the mood." Ino's childish persistence in crushing on Sasuke now irritated the pinkette almost as much as it did Sakura herself. Her former friend was just so... so undignified!

"Blow up, Bitch? I'll blow _you_ up," Spiky Hair wheezed, having finally recovered enough to stumble to his feet. "You're going _down._"

Sakura smiled sweetly at him as team ten slipped closer and caught sight of her victims through the underbrush. Chouji seemed particularly intimidated; Ino herself seemed more disconcerted by the untidy haircut the pinkette had given herself and the blood spatter adorning her upper half.

"Sakura?" a very welcome voice rasped from behind her. "Are you hurt?"

It was Sasuke. His skin was even paler than normal, his hair hung limply around his face and he had dark shadows around his red, tri-comma eyes. The left side of his face and bare upper chest as well as most of his left arm were covered in deep red commas like the ones in the seal on his neck.

"Not seriously," Sakura admitted honestly. "I was just venting my frustrations on the Snake-bastard's minions."

Sasuke's sharingan eyes began to spin ominously. "Might I cut in, Sakura?"

"Feel free," Sakura said sweetly. "Just be mindful of our audience."

Sasuke glanced over at team ten, then up at the newly-arrived two-thirds of team nine who had probably come looking for Lee. "Hn."

"I'm gonna _kill_ you, you bastard and make the pink bitch watch," Spiky Hair ranted, unmindful of his perforated lower half and the vomit stains which covered his entire front. "I'm gonna _blast_ you with my arms' power-"

"You're very proud of those arms of yours," Sasuke interrupted coldly, stepping around Sakura as the pinkette deactivated the trap tags so the Uchiha wouldn't get blown sky-high by accident.

"Die!" the enemy genin screamed crazily, pointing both hands palm-out at Sasuke. Sakura ducked, dragging Lee down with her as the air above them exploded. There was a brief silence as the dust settled and everyone tried to see what had happened.

"Ha, ha, hahaha!" the genin laughed manically. "I got him!"

"Got who?" came Sasuke's chillingly precise tones from behind the sound nin as the Uchiha reached out to grip his opponent's upper arms. "I think I'll confiscate these for trying to harm my team-mate; I want you to _bleed_." He yanked hard. There was a pop, followed by a crunch and a brutal tearing sound. The genin screamed.

"Zaku!" the injured kunoichi cried from where she was crouched by the half-submerged Haystack.

There was a soft thud and Zaku fell forwards, revealing a barefoot, half-dressed Naruto with untidy shoulder length hair holding up an unconscious and blessedly normal-looking Sasuke. "Oops," the blond said nonchalantly. "Sorry about that. I didn't think he's be that homicidal first thing or I'd have put a leash on him. Any casualties?" He looked around, peering through his bangs, taking in the destroyed clearing and battered Oto ninja. "No-one I care about got hurt; cool. But since when is this a spectator sport?"

"We're leaving," Hyuuga Neji said at once, glancing at the kunoichi next to him with her hair in two buns. "Lee, come."

"We- we'll go too," Ino quavered nervously, eyes flicking between Sakura's gore-spattered form and the limp body of Sasuke in Naruto's arms.

"Need an Earth scroll?" Naruto asked. "This guy," he kicked the prone Zaku in the ribs, "has one."

"Er-"

"We've already got one so it's no problem," Sakura agreed, moving over to perform another diagnostic jutsu on Sasuke. "We're all Leaf-nin so why not?"

"We'll take it," Shikamaru agreed, eyes lingering on Naruto's unexpectedly long hair.

Naruto turned to where the haystack had finally escaped the quicksand. "You, big guy-"

"Dosu," the Haystack said nervously.

"-Dosu, you gonna take your team-mates and scram or do we have to slit your throats?"

The battered genin swallowed hard. "We'll leave," he agreed as Shikamaru retrieved and pocketed Zaku's Earth scroll.

"Good for you; don't come back," Sakura said flatly. "Naruto, you're going to have to carry Sasuke-kun from now on. Go get both of you dressed so we can move on."

"Sure, no problem; just let me eat something. You pack up while I'm sorting us out, will you? I don't want anyone stealing my tags," the blond said amiably, effortlessly bundling his taller team-mate over his shoulder and walking back into the tiny cave. "Oh, and I'll fix your hair if you can do something with mine!" he called back to her.

"Deal!" Sakura replied with a smile. She kind of wanted to see what Naruto would look like with his now much longer hair braided flat against his head...

* * *

A/N: And that's it for the forest of death. Sakura has had a chance to show of her brilliance to the public, Sasuke has gone on his short homicidal rampage and Naruto continues to fulfill his role as team leader. The Sound team, of course, gets creamed. They had it coming.

Review, please: I want to know what you think!


	59. Naruto: Responsibilities

**Naruto: Responsibilities**

Naruto stared up at the ceiling of the tower's small infirmary, bored out of his mind. Sasuke has still been unconscious when they reached the tower and got to open the scrolls, summoning a relieved Iruka-sensei. The chunnin's mood had changed abruptly upon seeing them and he had practically dragged the two genin and their insensible team-mate to be looked over by medic ninja. When he heard their tale of S-class shinobi and mind-altering seals he had instantly gone looking for someone higher up the food chain and not come back since.

Sakura had been escorted away a while ago to give the ANBU a full report as she was the one who had been conscious for most of the experience, leaving the blond to while away his time being held under observation in light of his recent injuries. Sasuke was still unconscious, lying quietly in the bed next to him and being looked over by an ANBU –L_ow jounin chakra levels, scent of ink, pine needles,chamomile and blood but all ANBU smell like that last one_- Who was probably the Black Ops seal specialist. Not that he was likely to be even as good as Jiraya of the sannin, let alone Ame-kaa-san. He was probably about Kakashi-sensei's level though: competent in the basics but without the understanding needed to soar.

The blond sighed. After being blasted away from his team by the wind jutsu he'd been swallowed whole by a massive snake summons. In order to escape he'd made a dozen shadow clones and had them help him cut his way out, which had been efficient but very messy. His rapeseed-oil-green kimono would need careful cleaning to get the blood out and his obi was not in much better condition. Naruto had then dashed back to rejoin his team, clashed briefly with a shinobi he recognised from the team's sessions with the bingo book as being Orochimaru of the sannin then been sealed up and passed out from the shock of losing touch with Yoko.

Sakura had woken him up with one of his own shock tags -an unorthodox but effective method- and had him examine the toxic seal the snake summoner had inflicted on Sasuke. The fuuinjutsu involved had been extremely complex, way beyond Naruto's current capabilities, but he'd recognised enough of the components and how they fitted together to know it not only needed to come off, but had to be done quickly. That it could be done fairly safely, if unconventionally was a bonus. Luckily for the Uchiha transferring, fragmenting and restricting complex seal matrices was something he did know how to do: demolition was much easier than construction.

Before unsealing himself and finally passing out again so he could heal, Naruto had managed to remove two fifths of the original seal matrix and completely purge it of both the organic compounds and the jyaki it contained. Unfortunately the slavery matrix was one of the pieces that couldn't be safely removed, but Naruto had successfully realigned the whole seal to his own chakra before it had a chance to set, so Orochimaru had no hold on Sasuke whatsoever.

The blond just knew he'd be grilled extensively by every last seal expert the village could dig up -which would probably include Jiraya of the sannin- as soon as this phase of the chunnin exams ended. In fact, if anyone official had an inkling, his tou-san would be added to the list of interrogators. Naruto wasn't looking forward to the experience.

Yoko had been fairly quiet since helping Naruto purge the seal, probably because he was concentrating on healing the blond's injuries and further upgrading his body's healing mechanisms. What both bijuu and jinchuuriki were worried about was the effect the sudden influx of demonic and natural ki would have on Sasuke's body.

Youki was mutagenic: all the kekkai genkai's Naruto had so far seen and Yoko had heard of were the result of human DNA being exposed to some form or other of demonic influence, either by simple exposure, breeding, experimentation or some kind of curse. The natural chakra in Sasuke's system would reinforce his very cells, encouraging them to use the potentially toxic youki to adapt and improve rather than simply deteriorate under the onslaught, killing the dark-haired boy slowly and painfully over several years. That Sasuke was now likely to live a long time unless someone deliberately ended his life was something Naruto was not sure the Uchiha would be grateful for in the end.

Naruto himself was the son of the previous Kyuubi jinchuuriki, conceived within and carried to term in the same body as the bijuu. This pre-natal exposure was the source of the foxy traits he'd apparently been born with, like the whiskers and slightly more fang-like canine teeth. Becoming a jinchuuriki himself in the first day of his life had only built on what was already there.

Sasuke on the other hand was an Uchiha with an active kekkai genkai and as pure blood as that rather inbred clan could safely orchestrate. This meant -according to Yoko- that his demonic heritage was mainly tengu. Black, feathery hair, black eyes, arrogance and thieving tendencies were the dominant traits of his corvid ancestors, accompanied by an instinctive distrust for those who were not a part of his flock or 'murder', as it was properly called. Sasuke's murder had been the Uchiha clan until they all died and he had only recently rebuilt it. The new murder included Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi-sensei as the central unit with Ame-kaa-san and Yoko around the edges and Itachi somewhere in the grey zone between extended family and outsider. Naruto suspected these inherited isolationist tendencies where what had kept the Uchiha clan apart from the rest of the village from the moment of Konohagakure's founding.

Having a relatively large amount of youki seeping into his chakra system would likely bring Sasuke's tengu inheritance to the fore, making him less swayed by the emotions of others, less inclined to pander to others' sense of superiority and much more judgemental. Tengu enjoyed creating chaos for its own sake, targeting the arrogant and powerful while showing mercy and kindness to the poor and humble. They were also truly excellent at illusions and could cause forgetfulness, so Sasuke's sharingan was likely to receive a massive power boost.

More worryingly there was a chance he could gain certain inhuman characteristics such as Naruto himself was gradually gaining from the integration of the Kyuubi's ki into his own reserves.

Being kitsune, Naruto had fangs, increasingly sharp nails, sensitive whiskers -his markings weren't 'just' tattoos anymore- and generally foxy features and behaviour. The pranks were derived as much from his fox background as his Uzumaki heritage, but the cross-dressing was pure kitsune. Sasuke however was tengu so his nose would get pointier and possibly longer, as would his ears. Stronger nails and sharper teeth were also possible.

As Naruto would over time absorb the entirety of the Kyuubi's power he would eventually -around the integration of the fourth tail of bijuu chakra- grow a fox tail of his very own. Sasuke however was unlikely to sprout wings, despite the fact that his genetic predisposition to do so was far greater then Naruto's own: Sasuke had less than half a tail's worth of ki in his seal, nowhere near enough to push his body into creating a new set of limbs.

Naruto was only able to absorb as much youki as was currently being channelled into him due to his genome undergoing almost constant tinkering at the paws of his tenant: it was an unfortunate necessity if the blond wanted to go on living, since a nine-tailed bijuu contains more chakra than even ten humans can safely absorb. Yoko was continuously and subtly changing his genome, ensuring only viable and positive modifications were allowed to persist and reinforcing all the sections it was not allowed to modify, such as those that governed his general appearance, temperament and preferences. Sasuke however would never need to transition from being a product of highly selective breeding into the shadowy and painful world of being a test subject. _And I intend to see to it that no-one ever tries to push him over that line. Not Orochimaru or anyone else. No human scientist could ever be as meticulous and careful as Yoko, nor do they have the experience and understanding of the subject my tenant has._

* * *

There was a commotion outside the door of the infirmary and Kakashi-sensei slid in through the half-open door, shutting it firmly behind him and cutting off the noise. He glanced at the ANBU standing over Sasuke then focused his lone grey eye on the blond jinchuuriki:

"What did you do exactly and why?"

Naruto swallowed hard, scrambled off the bed and stepped forward so he was standing over his unconscious team-mate. "The seal is very complex and heavily layered," he said huskily as he stared down at the cluster of three dark red commas on Sasuke's neck, "but I recognised parts of it in my initial examination and Sakura identified some of the chemicals it was creating. Together we learned enough to determine it would either kill Uchiha Sasuke outright or damage his body and mind so badly that his shinobi career would be ended prematurely." he paused, going over what he himself had seen and what Yoko had told him during his own prolonged unconsciousness. "The first thing I did before even examining the seal was use a temporary delay matrix to prevent the seal from taking effect at once. After my initial scan determined the seal was harmful I transferred as large a section as could safely be broken off to a third party, in this case a sacrificial squirrel." the blond shuddered. "Sakura had to help me kill it; what that small section of the matrix did to the creature was awful. After that I was even more determined to curtail the seal's effects as much as possible, so I did a more in-depth examination. Since the section I'd broken off contained most of the instructions for the poisons that were causing immediate physical damage I felt I had the time."

"Then what?" Kakashi-sensei asked, waving a hand to pre-empt the waiting ANBU's questions.

"There was a minor chunk of the toxin matrix still attached and at least four other sections, but I had no way of purging the poisons still in his system or destroying the remaining loose seal fragments. The seal core was similarly beyond my reach as over half of what remained was too densely structured to fragment and powered by a broken off piece of Orochimaru's own chakra that the seal was using as a template and guide. It looked a bit like a sealed shadow clone really. The only way I could think that would work to both cleanse the seal and burn out Orochimaru's influence was to channel youki into the inner matrix and usurp the seal before it had a chance to dig into Sasuke's chakra system and become impossible to eradicate." Naruto cringed in anticipation of what was to come. What he had done was not unprecedented, but it was rare enough that it was likely no-one in Konoha had ever heard of it. _Except Ame-kaa-san, of course. Maybe tou-san as well._

"Usurp?" Kakashi-sensei repeated softly as the ANBU behind him stilled completely.

"A seal is a framework for chakra, no more and no less," Naruto quoted softly. "I essentially burned Orochimaru's chakra out of the framework and replaced it with my own, destroying the remains of the toxin matrices and a whole chunk of other stuff that the youki was incompatible with. _Balanced_ youki, Sensei: red to burn out the taint and yellow to reinforce the body and promote healing. There's a bit more of the yellow really," he added pleadingly, "and not a speck of Orochimaru's influence left anywhere in the seal, I swear. I even checked twice and so did Sakura-chan."

"What parts of the seal do remain and what do they do?" the copy-nin asked after a brief pause. Naruto shuffled closer and channelled a pinch of youki into the red markings on his team-mate's neck. The seal responded as any of his own creations would -proof the take-over was perfect- causing a massive and heavily mutilated framework to manifest around Sasuke. It rather reminded Naruto of a half-gutted building.

"This is a slavery matrix," -he pointed to the spherical design in the very middle- "this is some kind of tracking seal I don't know how to activate and, erm, Yoko says the big dense bit over here is supposed to activate recessive genetic traits and adjust the rest of the body to suit." That bit took up about two-thirds of the entire structure. "There was a mutation matrix attached to that but it was one of the bits that got fried and fell off. The rest is partly suppressants so his body won't fight the changes, partly a fuzzy boundary to disperse the more potent chakra into his system without giving him chakra overload. As it is now I _think_ the seal will act as a simple booster with the distant possibility of making him activate a few recessive Uchiha traits in the long run."

Naruto did not mention tengu: Sasuke deserved to find that out first as it likely qualified as a clan secret and it was up to _him_, not Naruto who would be told. "Yoko being what it is though I expect Sasuke's lightning affinity will be enhanced and he may develop a secondary affinity." the blond added, offering up a distraction. "It may make his moods slightly more volatile as well and will definitely reduce his control since his chakra is now more potent. Other than that he should be fine, but I think kaa-san's the best person to determine how he'll be affected in the long run."

"Ame will be examining him once the second exam is over," Kakashi-sensei said lightly, "as will others. Explain the slavery matrix if you please."

It wasn't a question. Naruto leaned forward to examine the relatively small group of symbols. "It's a pain seal like the Hyuuga caged bird seal," he said bluntly, "and probably modelled off it. There's a subliminal obedience matrix as well but it doesn't overcome a person's will, just makes the, ah, owner's suggestions more palatable. If Sasuke hated me it wouldn't force him to do what he was told. If the brainwashing chemicals were still running around his system there might be a problem but I broke that bit off and it's completely gone. The slavery seal is handseal activated but keyed to the chakra of the seal itself: only the person whose chakra is in the seal can set it off."

"So that would be you now, Naruto."

Naruto bowed his head, awaiting his sensei's verdict. "Not quite, sensei: it is Yoko's youki in the seal, tempered by my own chakra for compatibility. We would have to work together to set it off."

"Can the slavery matrix be removed?" the ANBU asked. Naruto couldn't believe the man even asked the question; maybe it was just so the Black Ops soldier could cover his back by saying he'd asked.

"No, it can't. It's the core of the entire matrix, the foundation everything else is built on. Trying to tamper with it would probably kill him and cripple him even if it didn't. Gomen nasai." He paused, cocking his head on one side to listen to his tenant's urgent words. "Yoko says that by the old laws I am now partially responsible for Sasuke's health and well-being. Using youki binds me to some very old charters between humans and true youkai and imbuing Sasuke with some makes me responsible for what he does with it, so I'll have to teach him the laws and ensure he abides." The blond made a face. "Kind of like an adoption, except he's my brother-in-arms not my kid. Eek."

"We'll go over the details properly later," Kakashi-sensei said firmly. "In the meanwhile I want your word you will not activate the slavery seal at all."

"Unless he deliberately uses the youki within it for unnatural purposes, I so swear on my name and my tenant," Naruto said softly, both eyes meeting his sensei's one and begging the jounin to understand it was the best he could offer.

"Good enough. Then as soon as Sasuke wakes you will both be released to pick out a room on the upper floors to stay in until the exam ends. There's a mess hall so you won't be short of food and a few other teams wandering about. On the last day you have to come back down to the arena on the ground floor for the official ending. Got that?"

"Hai, Sensei," Naruto said gratefully.

"I am very proud of all of team seven and you in particular," the jounin said quietly. "I know many higher ranking ninja with far more battle experience who would have crumbled under the pressure you three were placed under but you persevered and triumphed."

Naruto grinned happily at his sensei's gentle praise. "Arigatou, Kakashi-sensei. We're the best 'cause you trained us to be! Tell kaa-san and the others I'm okay, please?"

"I will, Naruto-kun," the copy-nin said, ruffling the blond's slightly untidy set of interconnected braids on his way out.

* * *

A/N: More on bloodlines and where they come from and what Naruto has done exactly. I trust the 'whys' are plausible enough for everyone.

A/N2: I am putting this up a day early because for some reason I can't upload at the moment, so everything will be stalled until the site starts cooperating again. I am NOT pleased about this: I have two chapters of 'Fangs' I wanted to upload today and have been summarily thwarted. I hope the problem goes away so I can share where the plot is going.


	60. Kakashi: Issues

Edit 20th May: My computer died with half the next chapter on it. Bah. Anyway, in my fic 'Odds, Ends and Outtakes' there's now a chapter containing one of Naruto's lessons with Kyuubi, which provides some background to the ninja world as a whole. Enjoy!

**Kakashi: Issues**

Kakashi was not looking forward to telling his koi and his sensei what had happened to team seven -and Naruto in particular- in the forest of death. True, Ame was a Seer and could probably check for herself what had actually take place if she so chose, but since giving birth her Sight was mainly focused on the triplets, enabling her to provide for their every need and ensure they were safe and protected. What attention she had left over was divided amongst the Kamen-Uchiha, the Yuurei and himself, with everyone else being looked in on briefly once or twice a day. Ame-chan had probably turned her sight towards Naruto the previous evening, determined that in the following twenty four hours his death was highly unlikely barring gross stupidity and left him to it.

She had however been somewhat twitchy of late, muttering about lurking shadows, betrayal and snakes in the grass. Kakashi had taken the vague warning to heart -Minato-sensei had informed him that she was never, ever wrong- and trained both himself and his team hard, which had been fortunate since what had been bothering her turned out to be Orochimaru. That the sannin had placed his cursed seal on Sasuke was cause for alarm in itself; that Naruto had somehow modified the madman's depraved masterpiece terrified him.

Kakashi was very concerned for how the events that took place in the forest of death would impact his two strongest students. _Not that Sakura isn't strong; she is just much better at sneaky minimalism than the other two, so brute power is less of an issue._ Naruto had done something Kakashi hadn't even realised was possible. More, his concise, casual description of his method indicated that seal fracture was a tried-and-tested method of seal removal, one he had likely studies in the Uzumaki seal texts the blond often carted around.

The copy-nin was also more than a little concerned about how Minato -_Or should I call him Ahiru now_- would react. He had gradually been renewing his acquaintance with his old sensei and had discovered -somewhat to his dismay- that the former Yondaime had changed as much in the past decade and change as he himself had. Maybe even more so; at least Kakashi had not been forced to completely change his specialisation and create a new combat style from scratch, let alone learn how to blend into a completely civilian environment.

When his Ame-koi had given Namikaze Minato a new body to inhabit, it had come with fairly low chakra reserves and little opportunity to enhance them; his reseves were no more than mid-chunnin, no matter how hard he tried to expand them. This, combined with the infamy his signature jutsus had obtained, forced the disguised blond to re-specialise. In life Minato had been a heavy combat ninjutsu/taijutsu type, specialising in space-time techniques with a sideline in fuuinjutsu he had developed to take his ninjutsu further. In his new cover identity of Ahiru he was an espionage genjutsu/fuuinjutsu type with a taijutsu sideline for when he couldn't avoid a fight. He actually had a bingo book profile for his new identity, not that the entry was particularly informative. In fact, it couldn't even be traced back to him.

There was no picture, description or village affiliation on the bingo book page, just a ranking -B- nickname -Deceiver- and a list of probable offences going back five years. In each situation listed, highly qualified ninja and large numbers of civilians had been delayed, detoured, robbed and generally hoodwinked by extremely realistic and subtle genjutsu deployed on a vast scale. Every incident directly involving shinobi had been a mission failure, some even before the ninja managed to arrive. No-one had the faintest clue who was behind the Deceiver, just that there was not a single hidden village that hadn't lost out to him at some point.

Such a drastic change in approach was literally unheard-of in the shinobi world and must have taken Minato an unconscionable amount of time and effort. Kakashi had sparred with him recently and discovered that the faux-redhead was still perfectly capable of defeating him despite the considerable chakra handicap. Rather than attacking head-on Minato now struck from the shadows, layering illusion after subtle illusion so delicately that Kakashi lost more often than he won even when he used his sharingan. He would never have won at all without the extra training in lightning manipulation he had been doing; Minato was lightning natured and used it to his advantage in his illusions. The copy-nin now understood why Ame-chan had called lightning 'the intelligence element'.

The former Yondaime was both cheerful and vocal in celebrating his victories, something he'd probably picked up from sparring with the kids, saying that once again youth and skill had failed to overcome the power of age and treachery. Kakashi secretly wanted Gai to lose a fight to Minato so he could find out how the Green Beast would respond to that particular statement. Maybe the spandex enthusiast would finally change his tune.

* * *

The silver-haired jounin let himself into Ame's private sitting room, where his koi and former sensei were playing a complex-looking card game with a red-headed teenager who looked vaguely familiar.

"Hello koi, Ahiru-san," he said amiably, not recognising the elegantly dressed young woman, "Who's your guest?"

"Kashi, this is Benihime, a geisha from the okiya I part-own," ame said gleefully, swapping a few cards around and emptying her hand. "I win! Benihime-chan this is Hatake Kakashi, my intended."

"We've met," the redhead said dryly. "He interrogated me with regard to Naru-kun's first kill."

_So that's where I knew her from; She looks quite a bit like Kushina-chan did. I wonder if she's a distant cousin? Naruto had to get his Uzumaki information from somewhere._ "What brings you here, Benihime-san?"

"I was concerned for Naruto when I heard he was participating in the chunnin exams, so Ame-onee-san invited me over to pass the time until she received news," the young geisha said sweetly. She didn't look any older than seventeen to Kakashi's experienced eye, probably a bit younger.

Benihime also had unusually large and refined chakra reserves for a civilian; she felt like a chunnin, in fact. One with an almost unnaturally strong water affinity.

"Did you ever attend the Academy, Benihime-san? Your chakra presence is rather distinct."

"No. I am however capable of moulding chakra, Kakashi-san."

"Yet you are not a ninja," the copy-nin clarified. "Why learn to use it if you aren't going to do anything with it?"

"I enjoy helping and healing the hearts of the living, Kakashi-san, not inflicting wounds on those the dead leave behind," the young woman said dryly. "I only recently discovered my reserves were large enough for me to learn to use chakra and I am only developing the skill because the way I was trained dictates I encourage all of my talents to blossom, not just those that I find to my taste."

"If you were a kunoichi, what type would you be I wonder?" Kakashi mused idly, wondering if the hokage was onto something when he pushed through the legislation that sponsored the hiring of geisha to teach the kunoichi infiltration classes at the Academy and even some classes for the boys as well. Geisha training with a little extra chakra competence on the side would create a perfect undercover agent, one nobody would suspect since they really were primarily what they appeared to be.

The redhead smiled bitterly, her mouth creasing in an unhappy little twist. "Espionage and seduction with a sideline in assassination. The seduction I am already capable of and geisha hear all kinds of things without even having to leave their rooms. I know the body and its functions intimately, am strongly water natured and have a knack for illusions. I could become a perfect killer, a condition entirely against my preferences." her face became clouded and an aura of gloom descended over the room as the bright, witty young woman closed up completely behind a perfect, smooth mask of polite interest.

"Gomen nasai, Benihime-san. I should not have pried," the copy-nin said humbly, very aware that Ame was frowning at him.

"Forgiven, forgotten," Benihime said with a gentle sigh, her face remaining unreadable. "Might I ask if you have news of dear Naru-kun?"

_'Dear Naru-kun' is it? I knew the geisha got on well with him and liked him, but I hadn't noticed they were this attached. Lucky bratling._ "He has reached the tower and suffered no permanent or debilitating injuries," Kakashi said, not going into details with a relative stranger present. "the exam ends the day after tomorrow so he will return to the village then, though you may not see him if he makes it to the final round: He will be busy training."

"Arigatou, Kakashi-san," the young geisha said politely, rising smoothly to her feet and bowing in thanks. "With your permission, Ame-onee, I will take my leave."

"Give my best wishes to the rest of your shimai," Ame said with a smile. The redhead murmured assent, bowed again and left, footsteps barely audible on the polished wooden floor.

"I take it there is more to what happened than that?" Minato asked lightly, collecting the cards together and stacking them neatly.

"Aa. Oddly enough it hasn't been classified yet so I can legally tell you that Orochimaru infiltrated the forest of death disguised as a genin -which we can't do anything about since everyone signed a waiver- and placed his disgusting Juin Jutsu on Uchiha Sasuke," Kakashi said heavily. "Naruto was also badly wounded, but the fox healed him; he says he's okay, by the way. Naruto also managed to delay the seal's taking root and mutilated it -something about breaking off and transferring part of it to a squirrel- then further reduced it by sending Kyuubi's youki through it and replacing all of Orochimaru's chakra."

There was a stunned silence.

"My son," Minato breathed reverently, "is a _genius_. What a brilliantly simple idea, yet so incredibly effective. I've never thought about whether it was possible to demolish a complex matrix in sections by function, but it must be since that's how seals are written. It has the additional advantage that as it isn't being cancelled the programmed failsafes won't kick in. what a novel way to deconstruct a complex seal without undue risk to the victim."

"If you say so, sensei," Kakashi said laconically, not having understood a word._ Genius I may be but fuuinjutsu is not my thing and never will be._ "I'd like Ame-chan to look at the seal once the second exam's properly over. Please, koi? You're the best seal expert I know, sensei included."

Minato huffed a little at his dismissal, but did not look offended. While the former Yondaime was very good with seals, Ame-koi had an uncanny instinct for them that made her better.

"Of course I will, Kashi-kun. Sasuke is one of your students and you want to ensure he is as safe as can be achieved," his starry-eyed fiancée said with a gently smile, rising to her feet from beside the table and embracing him. "Come and fetch me on the final day and I will see him as soon as he is released."

"Arigatou, Ame-chan," Kakashi murmured huskily, pulling his mask down so he could kiss his lover properly. For Ame, a promise to 'see' someone was an agreement to look into their possible futures for potential outcomes. It was a whole lot more reliable than just guessing and would put his mind at ease.

"Who is expected for the wedding next week, Ame-chan?" Minato asked, apparently engrossed by the cards he was shuffling. Kakashi was sure there was something off about his former teacher's reactions to the PDAs the copy-nin engaged in with Ame, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it...

"Aniki-tou-san can't come but Aniki-ji-san has promised to come and give me away on his behalf," Ame said happily, fingers intertwining with Kakashi's own, "and both my tou-san and kaa-san have wrangled leave so they'll be able to watch even though I'm not technically a part of their clans anymore. There will also be a mixed bag from Shougakure, a few ninja and civilians from Kumo and Lightning country respectively and a few acquaintances from Wind. I've also received replies from a few dozen replies from friends in the various minor nations -both shinobi and not- as well as promises to be in the area from a good number of people whose presence would definitely be disapproved of by anyone acting in an official capacity."

"Nukenin?"

"They're my _friends_, Kashi. Please? They just want to watch from the sidelines, not participate. Well, most of them anyway."

Kakashi prudently decided to ignore that 'most' for the time being. He was going to get married and everything he'd witnessed on married life indicated it was important to pick one's battles with extreme care. "Anyone else?"

"I invited quite a few people from Earth country but considering where I now live and who I'm marrying they may not turn up," Ame said nervously, leaning back against her betrothed and playing with his fingers. "There will also be a large number of summons present due to my status as Yogensha and what it means to their races. We need to set aside a section for them with suitable food."

Kakshi found himself at a total loss for words. At least he wasn't alone in his befuddlement if Minato's expression was anything to go by.

* * *

Notes

shimai = sisters

koi = lover

PDA = acronym for Public Displays of Affection

note that the 'youthand skill/age and treachery' bit is a paraphrased quote from Trickster's Choice, a book by Tamora Pierce.

A/N: I am unfortunately completely stalled at the moment as I have no idea how the wedding is going to go. The next chapter covers the preliminaries, but after that my muse is being irritatingly secretive. Please be patient.


	61. Naruto: Preliminaries

Okay, so my computer turns on now. Sadly it still won't acknowledge the existance of the internet so I'm still using the laptop. On the plus side, I was able to copy over this chapter for my devoted readers!

**Naruto: Preliminaries**

Day five dawned and Naruto dressed quickly in anticipation of the end of the second exam. The third exam would be a tournament and he wanted to see who his future opponents would be. Sadly his short green kimono and brown obi were too badly bloodstained for him to want to rewear them just yet, so he had been forced to change his outfit completely. Luckily for him, he always carried a scroll of spare clothing; this particular outfit had been a gift from the Mitsusha's maiko and he liked it very much, though it was hardly standard ninja attire.

His new kimono was shin-length, dyed in flame patterns in warm colours and subtly damasked with phoenixes. Under it he wore close fitting black trousers and kosode over his ever-present mesh armour. The kimono was fastened at the waist with a black obi with the red Uzu spiral embroidered on the ends, and on his feet he wore tabi and zori: while the flexible ninja sandals were nice and all, Naruto liked the more solid zori better. Especially since they were easier to customise and 'improve' with seals.

As today Sakura had braided his now much longer hair against his scalp on each side of his head then tied the ends together in a stubby tail at the nape of his neck, Naruto's overall look was nothing like it normally was. His hair all flat against his head and wearing a long kimono, he looked very courtly, formal and more than a little feminine. The blond carefully adjusted his wakizashi and tanto to mimic a samurai daishou, surreptitiously checking the seals hidden inside his broad sleeves where he had moved the rest of his weapons to. He loved wide, loose sleeves.

"Ready, taicho?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

Naruto had taken the Uchiha aside as soon as he was released from the infirmary and told the younger boy all about the seal, possible youki effects and Yoko's perspective on the origins of the Uchiha. The black-haired boy had listened intently, finally bowing stiffly to the jichuuriki in awkward but sincere thanks. Since then Sasuke had not called Naruto 'dobe' once, sticking to the other, more respectful nickname. It was starting to drive the blond demon container up the wall.

Be careful about using chakra until kaa-san's had a look at that seal," Naruto warned his team-mate, "I'm not sure how much youki it will channel into your system at a time or of what sets it off."

"I'll be careful," Sasuke agreed, fingering the hilt of his ninja-to. The Uchiha looked very ANBU-like in his dark top and trousers, steel toecapped boots and ninja-to hilt protruding over his right shoulder. All he lacked was the porcelain animal mask. _And at least a foot in height; He may be an inch taller than I am despite being nearly two years younger but he's nowhere near as tall as the other Black Ops members._

"Ready you two?" Sakura called from outside, banging on the door. Sasuke opened it and led the way down the hall, Naruto taking the rear and the kunoichi in the middle.

Sakura's hair was now shorter than Naruto's, a neat bob the okiya-raised boy had trimmed to end just below her ears, and she had managed to clean most of the blood spatter off the green lining of her lab coat. She wore it right-side-out now, looking more like a little girl playing medic than a competent kunoichi. It was an effective façade; only the mesh armour covering her arms suggested that here was a ninja and even that did not give away how incredibly dangerous the pinkette could be to those who crossed her.

* * *

Team seven arrived on the ground floor and joined the small crowd of genin waiting in the arena where the Sandaime was standing with a sickly-looking jounin with a full-length katana strapped to his back. Naruto let the hokage's lecture wash over him, gaze moving around the room to find his sensei; the blond still hadn't forgiven the Sandaime for his interference in his life and the secrets the old man had kept from him. _Tou-san wasn't happy when he found out how much of the stuff I should have had never reached me. At least kaa-san stopped him from beating those responsible into the ground and promised to get it all back. _

_And there's Kakashi-sensei, with Azuma, Gai and Kurenai. There's a Suna jounin for Gaara's team -probably the 'Baki' Kankurou mentioned- another Konoha jounin I've sensed around the place but never met and an Oto joun... Is that Orochimaru? He's the Sound team's sensei? Just great. Pretty good disguise though: I can't sense the size of his reserves through it, though the scent gives him away._

_Ooh, Sakura got him with her hiccup technique. The irregularity's kinda small at the moment but it'll spread. He's as good as dead already, sannin or otherwise._

Naruto firmly put the snake sannin out of his mind and turned his attention back to the sickly jounin, who had just introduced himself as Gekkou Hayate, proctor for the preliminary rounds of the third exam.

"Before we begin does anyone wish to drop out?" The jounin paused to cough. "It is now possible for you to do so without affecting the other members of your team as from now on you will be graded individually."

Kabuto dropped out, claiming exhaustion. Naruto found that exceedingly suspicious considering how well-controlled his chakra felt, but said nothing. He could mention it to Sensei later.

"Very well. When two names appear on the screen up there those listed will come down and fight," the jounin went on, "and the victor will continue to participate in the third exam a month hence."

The first pair were Akado Yoroi from Kabuto's team and Uchiha Sasuke, so all the other genin left the arena, walking up into the stands.

Naruto took a moment to whisper to Sasuke, "His chakra feels hungry; take care," before joining Sakura and the rest of the rookies on the balcony.

"How d'you think this'll go?" Kiba wondered loudly as Hayate signalled the start of the match.

"Quickly," Naruto said dryly. Below them Yoroi lunged forward, hands glowing as he tried to grab the Uchiha. Sasuke danced out of reach, threw himself into the air then kicked his opponent in the head with a perfect copy of Maito Gai's 'dynamic entry', making Kakashi chuckle. Yoroi stumbled to his feet again, slightly dazed, then keeled over forwards as Sasuke's ninja-to severed his hamstrings and hovered over his upper spine.

"Yield," the Uchiha suggested evenly, hands perfectly steady and eyes blank black. He hadn't even bothered to use his sharingan and the fight had been over in under a minute.

"Akado Yoroi is unable to continue! Winner, Uchiha Sasuke!" Hayate said, recognising the other genin was now crippled. Sasuke stalked up the stairs to the balcony, sat down with his back to the wall and set about cleaning his blade.

"Nice one; quick and clean," Naruto offered.

"He was pathetic," Sasuke grumbled. "A grappler stands no chance against a swordsman."

"If both are only moderately capable, true," Kakashi-sensei agreed, "but in a fight between masters it can go either way. Sasuke, I have someone who should examine you waiting."

"Can it wait a little longer, please Kakashi-sensei? I want to see my team-mates fight," Sasuke asked, tone slightly pleading.

"All right then," the copy-nin agreed with an eye-smile. "Who's up next?"

Next turned out to be Aburame Shino versus Zaku, the Sound-nin Sakura and Sasuke had brutally beaten in the forest; the spiky-haired nin still limped ever so slightly as he entered the arena.

The fight was almost as short as Sasuke's had been, ending when Zaku blew his own lower arm off trying to use the air vents in his hands after the Aburame blocked the tubes with his kikaichuu. Shino won.

Then it was Kankurou the kabuki fan against Tsurugi, Kabuto's third team-mate. Like Yoroi, Tsurugi was a grappler and he lost badly when he mistook Kankurou's Karasu puppet for the Suna-nin himself and tried to strangle it with rubbery limbs. Kankurou used the puppet to poison his opponent, leading him to be declared the victor as inin dashed into the arena to carry the unfortunate victim away.

Sakura was up next, her opponent Ino. The pinkette wandered down the stairs to the arena with a distant look in her eye, clearly trying to decide _how_ to win. The Yamanaka on the other hand looked very, very nervous indeed.

"Hajime!" Hayate said, moving out of range as Sakura seemed to dissolve into a cloud of cherry blossom. There was a tense pause as Ino spun around, performing kai to disperse illusions. The Yamanaka's surroundings remained unchanged for an instant, then Ino was neck-deep in the arena floor with Sakura kneeling over her, kunai pressed against the blonde's neck.

"Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no jutsu," the pinkette said dispassionately, features twisted in disappointment. "No-one ever looks down."

"Shousha, Haruno Sakura!"

The pinkette swept off the field, leaving a horribly embarrassed Ino to be dug up by the referee. Sasuke looked moderately amused by her effortless victory, probably because that was the technique Kakashi-sensei had used on the Uchiha during the bell-test. None of team seven could be caught that easily; they treated the ground with the suspicion it deserved.

"Congratulations," Naruto told Sakura with a grin as she dropped to sit next to Sasuke.

"It is nice to see that some kunoichi take their profession seriously," Temari added on her way down to the arena for her match. As the Suna genin was almost the epitome of a tough kunoichi, that was a definite complement.

The Suna girl was up against Tenten, who didn't seem to be able to do anything at all with chakra, relying entirely on her vast array of throwing weapons. A very poor strategy; Temari was a wind user and sent the projectiles flying wide before knocking the girl out against the arena wall with a concentrated gust of wind from her fan.

The next match was between the Oto kunoichi and Shikamaru, who complained all the way down the stairs about how troublesome it was to have to fight a girl.

The kunoichi's name turned out to be Kin and she was a genjutsu user, attaching bells and wires to her senbon to disorientate her opponents. She moved stiffly, though: Sakura's clawed gauntlets had clearly damaged her arm and shoulder quite badly.

Shikamaru used the shadows under her wires to reach and immobilise her, knocking her out against the arena wall by forcing her to bend over backwards and hit her head.

The next fight was Naruto versus Inuzuka Kiba. The boy with the fang-like markings on his face jumped straight down into the arena from where he had been leaning over the railings while his blond opponent carefully took the stairs, mindful of his rather restricting outfit.

As Kiba had been paying attention to the fights rather than his fellow genin, he hadn't really noticed what Naruto was wearing until the whisker-marked jinchuuriki stepped into the arena.

"Oi, dobe! What's with the kimono and fancy hair?" the boisterous Inuzuka shouted as Naruto walked calmly towards the proctor. "You look like a girl in that getup!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at his loud-mouth opponent, chakra expanding and flexing threateningly. "Do you have something against girls, Kiba? My team-mate is an excellent kunoichi."

"You look like a prissy civilian!" the scruffy boy taunted him, the hasty correction of his bias -against civilians rather than girls in general- proving that Sakura had indeed made an impression. That did not however endear him to Naruto in the slightest. _Kaa-san is civilian. Benihime, my other half, is civilian. Momo-chan and the others are civilian._

_I'm going to destroy him._

Kiba failed to notice that Akamaru, his canine companion, was cringing behind his master's shins in an attempt to hide from the irate jinchuuriki.

"Hayate-san, start the match if you would," Naruto said coolly, retrieving a large pair of Tessen from the seals in his sleeves. _Someone needs a lesson in respect._

Kiba was both strong and fast and his teamwork with Akamaru was exceptional, but Naruto was both stronger and faster and the nin-dog was deathly afraid of the youki-enhanced KI the blond was radiating. The Inuzuka attacked time and again, only for Naruto to dodge every blow and deflect every attack with his very sharp iron fans. Ten minutes into the fight Kiba was breathing heavily, had lost his shredded coat and was bleeding from a dozen wounds while Akamaru was out cold from a well-placed blow to the head. On the opposite side of the arena Naruto stood unruffled and serene, an open fan in each hand.

"Give up yet?" the elegantly dressed blond asked idly.

"What're you pissing about for? You haven't even used a jutsu yet!" Kiba exploded, wiping blood out of his eyes.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "This is a combat style a _prissy civilian girl_ taught me. A kimono is a rather restricting garment and this taijutsu style caters to that. Effective, isn't it? You haven't even managed to mark my clothes."

Kiba, pushed over the edge by the jinchuuriki's blatant mockery, charged the blond with claws out. Naruto swiftly closed and tucked away the right-hand fan, adjusted his stance and placed his hand on the hilt of his tanto. _Just a little closer..._

There was a clang, a shout and a short, wet, squelching sound. As the dust settled it revealed Kiba curled up on the ground with a knife hilt protruding from the underside of his ribcage.

"I missed his heart," Naruto said into the ringing silence, rising to his feet from his crouch, "but he needs medical attention right now since I definitely punctured his lung."

The medics swarmed the arena as soon as Hayate announced Naruto's victory, carefully carrying away the Inuzuka with the knife still in place.

"That was rather brutal of you, Naruto," Kakashi said lightly as the blond returned to the balcony.

"I like girls, Kakashi-sensei," the jinchuuriki said blandly, "civilian or otherwise. Anyone who puts down women like that deserves everything they get. Besides, I know half-a-dozen so-called civilians who could thrash Kiba in a fight any day of the week and many more who could take him out from behind before he noticed the threat. The kind of arrogant complacency he displayed will get him killed." Naruto paused. "Besides, Ame-kaa-san's no ninja and even you admit she's stronger than you are."

"Why do you dress that way anyway?" the copy-nin asked, changing the subject.

"I like wearing kimono," Naruto said cheerily. "You just think it's unnatural that I look so amazing in feminine clothing, Kakashi-sensei."

Much to the amusement of the eavesdroppers the jounin did not refute the blond genin's statement, instead whisking Sasuke away to get his seal looked at. Sakura snickered at her sensei's abrupt departure.

"It really does creep him out doesn't it? I never noticed before."

"I experimented: he doesn't do as well in our team spars when I wear girl's clothes," Naruto said smugly. "It messes with his mind. I think I'll have to do it more often."

Asuma made a choked sound in his throat and both Temari and Kankurou looked extremely disturbed.

The next two contestants called were Neji and Hinata, which promised to be interesting since they were both Hyuugas. The older boy brutally demolished his female cousin both verbally and physically, calling her a failure and a disgrace. Hinata ignored his bitter attitude and held out to the bitter end, infuriating Neji to the point that threw a lethal blow.

That blow never connected: suddenly Hayate was between the two genin and Ame was in the arena behind him, one hand over Hinata's heart. The intervention meant Neji won by forfeit and the young shinobi stomped off, complaining about favouritism for the Main House. Ame ignored the boy completely, easily cradling Hinata in her arms and carrying her out of the arena, leaving the inins to scurry about in her wake. The bitter cruelty and unnecessary violence of the encounter made Naruto promise himself that if he was up against Neji in the finals he would beat that arrogant, idiotic, fatalistic attitude out of the other boy.

* * *

Notes

daishou = 'long-short'; katana and wakizashi worn by samurai

kikaichuu = destruction bugs; used by Aburame in their secret clan techniques

Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no jutsu = Earth: double decapitation suicide technique

A/N: YES! New update! Preliminary matches are underway with a few minor modifications. Thanks to everyone who's sent me reviews and encouragement f6r their kind words.


	62. Kakashi: Riddles

**Kakashi: Riddles**

Kakashi body-flickered Sasuke out of the tower arena up to a small stone room with no windows where Ame was waiting for them. Sasuke stumbled slightly on landing, then bowed low to the copy-nin's starry-eyed fiancée.

"Ame-san."

"Sasuke-kun," Ame responded with a smile. "Come over here and let me have a Look at you."

The black-haired genin walked forwards obediently, tilting his head up to meed her gaze.

"Well, look at you," Ame murmured, voice slipping into the absent, sing-song tones that indicated she was Seeing beyond the merely physical. "Such potential you have, little crow. You will be great, no doubt about it, but whom will you serve? Choose your master carefully, little crow, for he will shape you to his will. No matter the master you will be great, so all that remains is the type of greatness you choose to pursue. Will you support and protect the greatest peace the world has seen in centuries or help to push the Elemental Nations into a downward spiral of chaos and death, leaving every man scrambling to protect what is his against the rest? You will not be forgotten, regardless of your choice; what is it you wish to be remembered for, little crow?"

"What of my clan?" Sasuke asked timidly, visibly awed by this blatant demonstration of the night-eyed woman's power.

"The Uchiha clan is neither dead nor dying and its return to prominence is not your burden to shoulder," Ame responded calmly, the points of light in her eyesockets flickering brightly. "Now let me look at that seal of yours."

Sasuke tipped his head to one side, revealing the trio of dark red commas clustered on the side of his neck.

"Juin jutsu; the Cursed Seal of Heaven," Ame whispered softly. "Naruto saved more than just your life with his quick thinking and selfless sacrifice."

"Can you remove it?" Sasuke rasped, eyes wide.

"Do you want it removed?" Ame countered, features brightening as a whimsical smile blossomed on her lips. "It will do you no serious harm as it is now, though you may find yourself changed by it in time."

Sasuke opened his mouth then closed it again, expression thoughtful. "If you take it off Naruto and Yoko won't be obliged to teach me about youkai, will they?"

"Aa, true."

"Then... I think I'll keep it for the time being," Sasuke decided. "Is that allowed?"

"Of course; it is your choice. I will however settle an additional barrier around it to reduce the risk of youki poisoning," Ame said, fingers flicking as she traced glowing symbols in the air around the young Uchiha. "Kneel down; this may hurt."

Sasuke knelt obediently and cringed as Ame's right hand dropped over the seal on his neck. There was a hiss like water on hot metal, the genin gasped, eyes wide then keeled over forwards. A neat ring of sealing script appeared around the three commas, looking very much like the Fuuja Houin Kakashi knew how to use.

Well, isn't this cosy," said a voice by the door.

Kakashi spun around, lightning dancing between his fingertips. _Orochimaru!_

"Kashi, please take Sasuke to the hospital to sleep off the sealing process," Ame said quietly, stepping forwards and pushing the genin's limp body into the silver-haired jounin's arms. The copy-nin let go of the elemental chakra he'd been channelling and backed away from the snake sannin, cradling his student protectively.

"Ku ku ku, who might you be? Kakashi-kun's foreign fiancée? The woman who had careful, cautious Shimura Danzou arrested for treason?" Orochimaru said with a cruel, hungry smile. "What pretty eyes you have. I've never seen a doujutsu like it."

"I assure you that I do not have a doujustu, Serpent-tongue," Ame replied lightly, "for eyes such as those blind the wielder to the truth unless they be ever so humble."

"Oh really? What is your power then?"

"There's more to life than power and more to power than knowledge and strength," Ame carolled, a smile lurking in the corners of her mouth. "You're just a dead man walking around in someone else's skin; your choices have placed my power forever beyond your grasp."

"Well aren't you _observant_ for a little civilian," the snake sannin said flatly, pulling back a little as one of his eyebrows twitched in irritation.

"Don't you worry about a thing, Snake-kin; Sasuke will be participating in the finals," Ame went on airily as if the most infamous of Konoha's defectors wasn't standing a few feet in front of her, "and nobody knows what I've seen except me, myself and I. Some fates are inescapable and none more so than those we weave for ourselves, for all good things must come to an end."

"Clever little child," Orochimaru chuckled. "I will definitely be looking you up later, little Seer. Ja ne." He vanished, leaving behind Ame -who was humming to herself- and a very confused Hatake.

"Ame, what on _earth_ was-" Kakashi was interrupted by a slim finger pressed to his lips.

"Ssh, Kashi. The walls have ears and all's fair in love and war. Change is coming and what better trap for the enemy than the pit he dug himself? The ambush is always more successful when the ambushed ambushes the ambusher, don't you think?"

Kakashi ran this over in his head a few times and deduced that Orochimaru had some scheme in mind and Ame planned to foil it at the critical moment.

"He's already beaten," The night-eyed woman added smugly, "he just hasn't noticed yet."

The copy-nin accepted that he wouldn't get any more coherent information out of her right now and left for the hospital, Sasuke still out cold in his arms. _What an odd little tongue-twister that was that my koi told Orochimaru; her prediction to Sasuke was far more coherent. I know she never lies when she's like this but what she told the snake sannin was so ambiguous it could mean almost anything._

_Except that there is something coming, something he has planned that cannot be avoided. And I have three students that need training for the finals next month._

* * *

Notes

Fuuja Houin = evil sealing method

A/N: Oh dear, someone's keeping secrets... words are such tricksy things, don't you think?


	63. Interlude: Gaara

**Interlude: Gaara**

Gaara was having doubts. Baki had told them that Sunagakure would crush Konoha during the chunnin exams to establish the village's superior power in the Elemental nations. The redhead did not really care for either for his village or his father the kazekage, but any opportunity to prove his existence through bloodshed would be accepted and taken advantage of.

However he was no longer sure Konoha would grant him such an opportunity. The jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi had recognised him almost instantly and pronounced the village's inhabitants under his protection, which made Mother nervous. The demon fox was far, far more powerful than he was and completely outclassed Mother as well; crossing the whiskered blond boy would be a death sentence. Especially since the other boy had taken the time to lay out the conditions of his stay in the village. Mother had explained that violating accepted terms meant his life -and hers- would be forfeit by law. That the nine-tailed fox had educated the boy meant he was a favoured vessel rather than a mere prison; a true avatar.

Gaara carefully ignored the fact that -until very recently- Mother had never taught him anything.

Even more confusingly, Gaara wasn't even sure if he _wanted_ to feed the people of the Leaf village to Mother. The blond fox-vessel's team-mates had been both polite and friendly and the Kami-blessed Seer they had taken him to see had been confusingly kind to him. The Yogensha had examined his seal with her head cocked on one side, tut-tutted and then done something to it. What that something was Gaara wasn't sure, but Mother had been calmer afterwards and had stopped insisting he feed her blood. In fact she had ceased shouting altogether in favour of quiet and largely incoherent mumbling punctuated by the occasional explanation or suggestion.

This abrupt and unexpected 'hands-off' attitude was completely unprecedented and rather fightening, so Gaara had firmly set about going on much the same as always while sticking to the rules Uzumaki Naruto had laid out: Only main or kill if your opponent is a ninja and challenges you to a fight or attacks you directly. The racoon-eyed redhead had killed a Rain ninja in the forest of death and badly maimed the dead boy's other team-mates when they hesitated to surrender. Gaara had also stopped threatening his siblings since their voices no longer made his head ache, a side effect of Mother no longer shouting at him all the time.

* * *

Now he was waiting for his turn in the preliminary tournament round. The nine-tails jinchuuriki had crushed his opponent without using a single jutsu and his two team-mates had shown similar skill and finesse. Temari had had an easy fight against a weapons user and Kankurou had won his fight as well. Baki looked rather pleased by their performance.

Then Gaara's name came up against a Rock Lee, who turned out to be loud, green and energetic. The redhead shunshined down to the arena in a swirl of sand. He knew he would win this fight: Only the blond container was more powerful than he.

Gaara soon realised he had underestimated his opponent: Lee was very fast and could hit surprisingly hard. Then the green boy had dropped a set of weights at the behest of his equally green sensei and the redhead was suddenly struggling to keep up: the strange boy was now moving faster than his sand could follow and he even managed to scratch Gaara's face. Deeply irritated, Gaara set about calling up more sand, switching with a Suna bunshin as the green boy tried a stronger move.

Seeing his attempt had failed, Lee proceeded with an even stronger move that Gaara had never even heard of before, a technique that flooded the odd genin's body with chakra and made him even faster. This time Gaara was caught and slammed into the arena floor.

The impact roused Mother from her introspection, healing his injuries and lashing out at his aggressor. Gaara wanted to _destroy_ the incomprehensibly cheery genin that threatened his existence and Mother obliged him, wrapping her sand around the green boy's arm and leag so tightly she crushed his bones. Gaara was about to put his opponent out of his misery when the boy's jounin-sensei intervened, causing the redhead to win the match by forfeit. He didn't understand why such strong people as the green jounin and Yogensha-sama would want to preserve the lives od weak beings such as Lee or the white-eyed girl from earlier, though.

"Eh, Gaara," came Yogensha-sama's voice from behind him as he walked back up to the balcony, "Doesn't Tanuki-san protect you?"

Gaara blinked, never having considered it quite that way before. Mother had protected and healed him when Lee hurt him, then the green jounin had protected the green boy from Gara and Mother.

"Your protector travels with you wherever you go, Gaara-kun;" the starry-eyed woman said mildly, glancing down at the arena where medics were carrying Lee off on a stretcher, "others are not so fortunate."

The redhead did not respond, mind abuzz. Konoha was proving difficult to deal with in ways he had not previously realised existed and he was having trouble understanding what was going on.

* * *

A/N: Because everyone needs a little bit of Gaara in their life.


	64. Naruto: Training

**Naruto: Training**

After the final preliminary fight –in which Dosu the walking haystack from Oto defeated Chouji with relative ease– Kakashi-sensei rounded up Naruto and Sakura and chivvied them off to the hospital as soon as they had found out who they would be facing in the third exam. Naruto was vindictively delighted to learn his first opponent would be Neji and immediately started plotting the Hyuuga genius' abject humiliation. Sakura was rather less pleased; her first opponent was the homicidal jinchuuriki from Suna, Gaara. Sasuke on the other hand would be fighting Dosu; an easy win for the Uchiha as far as Naruto was concerned.

Sensei and students had just arrived at the hospital entrance when Kakashi suddenly shunshined away. Puzzled by this unexpected abandonment, Sakura went up to the front desk and asked the secretary on duty where Sasuke's room was. Since team seven regularly ended up needing medical treatment for combat-related injuries the civilian behind the desk instantly recognised the pinkette as someone who was allowed to visit the Last Uchiha and promptly told her where to find her team-mate. When the blond and pinkette reached the right room Naruto tensed, moving in front of Sakura. Someone had died in there. Recently.

"Sensei?" he called out, palming a kunai. Kakashi-sensei opened the door, giving both genin a look into room beyond. The window had a massive hole in, there was glass all over the floor and a corpse near Sasuke's bed that looked like...

"Is that Kabuto from earlier?" Sakura asked.

"Iie," Naruto told her before Kakashi-sensei could answer. "Doesn't smell quite right to be Kabuto, even dead. That's an ANBU; Flounder, I think."

The silver-haired jounin blinked. "It is indeed. Naruto, your chakra-sensing abilities are getting frighteningly accurate. Anything else you picked up on that you think I should know?"

"Orochimaru was the jounin-sensei of the Oto team," the blond said flatly, "and Kabuto is easily chunnin level, possibly jounin if his other skills match his chakra refinement. He also has some kind of pseudo-bloodline ability kind of like Sakura had her Inner."

"Frighteningly accurate indeed," said the ANBU who materialised out of the shadows to Naruto's left. "I know of few other sensors in Konoha as sensitive to the nuances of chakra as you, Uzumaki-san."

"Tiger-san could be as good as I am or better if he bothered to learn;" Naruto said, not wanting to be drafted into the Black Ops any time soon, "he has the right kind of chakra for it."

"I am taking Sasuke back to my clan compound since the hospital has proved to be so easily infiltrated, Cormorant," Kakashi-sensei said briskly to the ANBU operative. "I'm sure the Yuurei will be delighted to inconvenience anyone trying to come after him there. Ame has agreed to lend some of the more, ah, _balanced_ of her soldiers to assist with village security and asked me to offer her own services to whoever is in charge of predicting possible tactical scenarios."

"I will pass on both offers to the proper parties, Kakashi-san," ANBU Cormorant said as the silver-haired jounin lifted the unconscious Sasuke up into his arms bridal-style.

"Arigatou. Sakura, Naruto, there is only one of me and three students in need of training. One of the Yuurei has generously offered to train you, Sakura, for the next month: Kasha is a field medic and assassin and has much to offer you. You are proficient enough in illusion theory not to need help in developing your own genjutsu, so I expect you to work on them independently. Naruto, Ame will be training you since she is wind natured like you are. She'll be pushing you through basic elemental training and teaching you a few useful jutsu. I will primarily be training Sasuke since his lightning affinity matches my own. Both of you bare in mind that the Yuurei consider themselves a collective rather than a group of individuals so you may end up working with more than just the ones I mentioned. Oh, and not one of them has even the social skills the kami gave rocks, so please be patient with the inevitable faux pas."

"Hai, sensei," Naruto and Sakura chorused, then team seven made tracks towards the Hatake compound where their temporary senseis were waiting for them.

* * *

It turned out that Ame-kaa-san was only going to tutor Naruto in basic elemental manipulation, which could mostly be delegated to shadow clones while the rest of his training was divided between his tou-san and a Yuurei who introduced himself as Ittan-momen, who turned out to be an illegitimate Hyuuga like Mogura-chan. Ittan-momen's training method involved attacking the blond using standard Hyuuga juuken forms so the jinchuuriki could get a feel for them, learn what they did and work out a counter. Since the Yuurei was also teaching gentle fist to Mogura-chan, Naruto sometimes ended up fighting her, too.

Naruto soon learnt that the best way to survive against a gentle fist user was not to get hit. He got very good at dodging and using multiple kawarimi after the first day. The blond also quickly worked out that by far the easiest way not to get hit was to resort to kenjutsu: no ninja was willing to risk losing fingers. Once Naruto began using his wakizashi the fights became much longer, with Naruto trying to cut Ittan-momen up while the Yuurei dodged constantly and tried to land hits of his own.

Most usefully, the half-Hyuuga taught him the pressure points in the temples that closed the tenkutsu that controlled the activation of the byakugan.

His tou-san's lessons were more diverse but no less exhausting. The clone-wearing ghost drilled Naruto in all the taijutsu styles the blond genin knew, taught him the basics of a new one -the former Yondaime's own heavily acrobatic style- and forced him to switch between them all constantly. The former Kage also taught his son four C-rank Fuuton jutsus and at least one technique of each of the other elemental types.

"It's important to be able to do a little bit of everything regardless of your specialisation," his tou-san had told him firmly when he complained how insanely difficult the Katon: Endan was.

By the end of the month Naruto had not only learnt the fireball technique, he could perform the B-rank Doton: Doryuu Heki, C-ranked Suiton: Mizurappa and Suiton: Mizuame Nabara, the latter of which had so many prank possibilities it made the blond genin giggle with glee. Lightning turned out not to have all that many official jutsus but Naruto managed nonetheless to perform Raiton: Kangekiha, which fired a bolt of electrical energy. It was very effective in conjunction with suiton jutsus or weapons, electrifying them. The wind jutsus he learnt were Daitoppa, which Orochimaru had used on him in the forest of death, Reppushou, Shinkuu Gyoku and Kazekiri, which despite being only C-rank could be turned into a B-rank if you added elemental manipulation and a bit more chakra. It had taken serious kage bunshin abuse and numerous headaches to get them all down in time but Naruto felt it was worth it. These jutsu, on top of the single-seal water-whip and fire-whip Kakashi-sensei had made him learn, would be more than enough to beat Neji without totally overdoing it. After all, the purpose of the third exam was not really to win the tournament but to show the necessary variety of skills a chunnin should have: strategic and tactical, intelligence, patience, power and self-awareness. The latter included knowing when you were outmatched, which meant forfeiting.

Despite spending almost no time at all with Ame-kaa-san personally that month, Naruto learnt an awful lot from her. The shadow clone brigade mastered basic wind manipulation in three weeks, so Ame spent the last week of his training month on something so obscure and advanced his tou-san was reduced to incoherent gibbering when he found out: Senjutsu.

Naruto actually had a cheat he could use with sage techniques: Yoko, being a bijuu, was half natural chakra anyway and found meditation both restful and pleasant. It was therefore possible for it to gather natural chakra to itself whilst remaining immobile behind its jinchuuriki's navel gate, natural chakra that Naruto could then access with ease despite being in motion.

Since Yoko was going to dissipate in less than a decade Ame-kaa-san didn't let Naruto use the short-cut as an excuse to slack off; instead she worked him harder. The blond was grateful he already knew both how to meditate and what sage chakra felt like; without those two abilities he'd have been sunk, forced to use a medium in order to reach out to the energies of the earth. He wasn't anywhere near mastering the technique yet but he had gotten much closer in his week of cramming, able to sense the world's energies and flows with ease. Naruto wasn't quite confident enough yet to actually gather the energy though.

* * *

Two days before the third and final exam Ame called off lessons. She'd only done that on one other day in the past month: the day she'd got married to Kakashi-sensei. Naruto wasn't sure yet whether the tournament could top the wedding in terms of sheer gossip quality. Some of the guests on the bride's side had been infamous and a few had snuck in illegally, since they were missing-nin and really shouldn't have been allowed into a hidden village at all.

The guest that had caused the greatest commotion and made Naruto seriously doubt the chunnin exams would even register to the village's shinobi had been Uchiha Itachi.

That had really been something to behold.

* * *

Notes

Katon: Endan = Fire: Fireball

Doton: Doryuu Heki = Earth: Earth-style wall

Suiton: Mizurappa = Water: Violent water wave

Suiton: Mizuame Nabara = Water: Syrup capture field

Raiton: Kangekiha = Lightning: Inspiration wave

Fuuton: Daitoppa = Wind: Great breakthrough

Fuuton: Reppushou = Wind: Gale wind palm

Fuuton: Shinkuu Gyoku = Wind: Vacuum sphere

Fuuton: Kazekiri = Wind: Wind cutter

Senjutsu = sage techniques

A/N: Yes, it's taking a while but I'm getting there. Naruto's training explored and a first hint at the wedding! I swear, those things are as hard to write as they are to organise...


	65. Kakashi: Guests

**Kakashi: Guests**

While Hatake Kakashi had originally intended to train Sasuke by himself for the month leading up to the Chunnin Exam tournament, he soon found himself forced to delegate the Uchiha's training to Yuurei, mainly Shin and Nuurihyon. This proved necessary ‒at least it did for the first week or so‒ due to the vast numbers of very important guests pouring into Konohagukure for his wedding. During the nine days between the end of the second exam and the day of the ceremony Kakashi was constantly being called upon to meet shinobi and civilian dignitaries of various influence and importance and escort them to their lodgings. The copy-nin had never before been so grateful to Ame for making the Hatake mansion and grounds so irrationally massive.

Day one brought the raikage and an emissary from Rai no Kuni, each with four guards, fairly early in the morning. Once the shinobi were escorted back to his home Ame had greeted Kiraa Ei with a brilliant smile and had been hugged by the massive Kage before introducing Kakashi to the four ninja who made up the escort. Shii, Darui, Jei and Motoi were all jounin, the former pair much younger than the latter. All were reasonably polite despite making it quite clear that Kakashi wasn't anywhere near good enough for his bride-to-be. Ame then showed them to a three bedroom suite she'd set aside for them with access to a private sitting-room and bathroom. Ei and whichever two ninja were on guard duty were given the run of the village by the Sandaime while the remaining two were granted permission to use the private Hatake training grounds and politely asked not to leave the premises unescorted.

The civilian delegation ‒a diplomat, four samurai and a parade of servants‒ were staying in a fancy hotel in the village proper, which was a considerable relief to Kakashi. Strange shinobi in his home were one thing; politicians were another matter entirely.

Later that same day Kakashi was called upon to greet a three-nin party from Ame no Kuni, two high-ranking Samurai from Tetsu no Kuni and a number of other nobles and businessmen from the various small countries around Ho no Kuni. All of these had booked housing in the village except the Rain ninja, who were welcomed into the Hatake compound by a wide-eyed Usagi. The quiet blond girl bowed low to the kunoichi in charge, addressing her as 'Konan-obaa-chan' with a sweet and disarming smile. The two chunnin acting as the blue-haired woman's guards were offered bunks in the Yuurei barracks and were promptly whisked away, reassuring Kakashi that not all of the guards would also be guests.

* * *

Day two brought in more minor nobles, a diplomat and two samurai from Wind country, two jounin and two chunnin escorting the young leader of Taki no Kuni and a Kusa diplomat with two shinobi guards. Each group had its own entourage of servants an not one of them expected to be hosted by the Hatake Clan, which was a relief.

* * *

The third day was stressful, marked as it was by the arrival of a small delegation from the land of Demons and Seven high-level ninja from the rogue faction of the Kiri civil war. Zabuza headed the group, which included yet another jinchuuriki who brought the count of demon vessels currently in the village up to four. Kakashi was introduced to Kayuga Kimmimaro, a distant yet impeccably polite shinobi who felt about jounin level, Utakata, jinchuuriki of the Rokubi no Namekuji ‒six-tailed slug‒ and Ao, the official emissary of Shougakure representing the Resistance. The other three unnamed shinobi were Ao's assistants and guards and the entire group was welcomed into the copy-nin's home by a very bubbly Ame, who positively _bounced_ over to Kimmimaro to give the younger boy an enthusiastic hug.

It was not so much the new guests as the hokage's reaction to them that made day three difficult: discovering there would be seven jounin-level Kiri-nin of questionable affiliation wandering around the village for a week, one of whom wanted to set up a treaty, clearly gave the Sandaime a headache the man was unafraid to share with both his advisers and subordinates. Kakashi had had the dubious pleasure of being followed around by Harionago that day; whether she had intended to protect him from possible peril or just keep track of who was angry with him the silver-haired jounin never found out. The needle-toothed grin on her porcelain mask seemed to intimidate the irate council members who summoned Kakashi for a dressing-down once they found out who exactly had been granted entry to 'their' village. Danzou's arrest had dealt a severe blow to the elders' influence and prestige, but they were still trying to keep as much power as possible within their grasp. Harionago's silent presence at his back and independently mobile hair seemed however to be enough to limit the idiots' blustering until the Sandaime interrupted the gathering and dismissed Kakashi.

* * *

On the fourth day after the end of the second exam no-one special arrived at all, which was a relief: Kakashi was having enough problems dealing with the Kumo and Shou ninja in his home and the swarm of small children without adding any new variables. Konan on the other hand had somehow ingratiated herself amongst the ever-increasing number of geisha who were overseeing the organisation of the wedding ceremony and was almost impossible to locate in a hurry without the aid of a sensor-nin.

* * *

Day five was very busy, with diplomatic delegation from both Water Country and River Country in the morning and a small shinobi delegation from Suna in the afternoon. Learning that the three Suna genin would be attending his wedding on their father's behalf was a surprise; given that all three of them had made it to the finals Kakashi would have expected the kazekage to not have any difficulties scheduling an appearance. After all, he was coming to the finals in a few weeks time. Baki, the Suna genin's sensei, was also at the gate to welcome the delegation and introduced Kakashi to Sekka, an inin, Ryuusa, one of the village's elders and Maki, who was the heir to one of their village's more prominent clans. The five newcomers had rooms booked in the same hotel as the kazekage's children, which was a relief as shortly after seeing them settled in their lodgings he was called back to the village gates to greet someone else.

The 'someone else' was a young teen of indeterminate gender who looked like a Yamanaka, felt like a jounin and had a suspiciously familiar Fire Country free-travel pass amongst his documentation. The blond introduced himself as Deidara ‒no woman would have such a deep voice‒ and wore an Iwa hitai-ite with a slash across it. He was also rather emotive and professed a deep love of art and explosions. Kakashi kept up an interest in fireworks and demolition as he guided the passionate young man back to the Hatake compound, where on arriving the nukenin promptly chased down Ame and bombarded her with questions about 'what you've been up to in the last six months, un!'. Kakashi decided then and there that he didn't want to know where his koi knew the blond from; that the younger man wore a ring that had a similar chakra signature to the ones Itachi, Kisame and Zetsu all wore told him quite enough.

Later that same evening Kakashi was relaxing in the gardens when Zetsu emerged out of the ground with both Itachi and Kisame. The copy-nin just couldn't muster shock or horror at their presence within his village: considering who he'd gotten his koi from in the first place, that these two would be attending had been inevitable.

"Sempai felt it unwise for us to enter via the front gate," Itachi said quietly as Kakashi eyed his clandestine guests. "She also suggested I stay with the Yuurei, so as not to attract attention." None of the three were wearing their cloaks with the red clouds, but Kisame still had Samehada strapped to his back and Zetsu's flytrap-like appendages were highly distinctive.

"I'll have to tell the Sandaime, you understand," the copy-nin managed.

"Aa," the eldest living Uchiha agreed. "I look forward to hearing from him. In the meantime however Kisame would like to talk to Ao-san regarding the Resistance."

"I'll take him," Kakashi decided as a young Yuurei in a blank mask dropped out of the tree. "You, kid, take Itachi here to the barracks and assign him a mask, a uniform and a bunk. Zetsu‒"

"I'll stay here, **the trees are very pleasant"** the bicrome shinobi said with an absent and pointy-toothed smile.

"Fine by me; try not to scare the kids," the silver-haired jounin drawled. "Kisame, this way."

"Can I see Sempai-chibi first?" the shark-faced ninja asked hopefully.

"I don't see why not."

* * *

Day seven was marked by horrific stress as at noon Kakashi was summoned to deal with a delegation from Earth Country and the four accompanying ninja from Iwa, one of whom was none other than the tsuchikage's granddaughter. Fortunately for the copy-nin's tattered nerves Deidara turned out to be a bit of a national hero in Iwa despite his defection and was perfectly happy to catch up with his former colleagues while Kakashi dealt with the diplomat and his entourage. The blond bomber invited the back to the Hatake mansion on the basis that 'half the Elemental Nations top shinobi are there, un!' which the calm Iwa kunoichi in charge seemed to think would be worth the hassle of staying in the home of one of her village's greatest enemies. Kakashi had to wonder what she'd think if she knew the former Yellow Flash was living in his house as well.

The kunoichi introduced herself as Kurotsuchi and her comrade as Ittan but did not deign to name the other two, suggesting they were just guards rather than actual guests.

It was only after dinner ‒Han was present and reasonably polite to the new additions despite their affiliations‒ that Kurotsuchi relaxed enough to explain to Kakashi why she, a politically significant Iwa kunoichi, was attending the wedding of a Konoha shinobi.

"Amemai-yogensha is from Kuraigakure in Kage no Kuni, a scion of two important kekkai genkai clans and wields a power not even the Kurai ninja themselves fully understand. The Second Shinobi War was proof enough that Shinobi from the Land of Shadow are superior to those of any other nation both by blood and training, in spite of their nation's defensive and isolationist policies. This budding allegiance between to potential enemies of Tsuchi no Kuni must be witnessed and monitored, since we are unable to prevent it."

"They did kick her out, so how is it an alliance?" Kakashi asked idly.

"The yorukage will be attending the wedding," Kurotsuchi countered with a thin smile. "Not since the days of the Ridoku Sennin have Twilight shinobi ventured beyond their nation's borders openly."

The copy-nin hadn't known he would be seeing another Kage at his wedding. Then again, he hadn't been expecting Ei either. _This is what happens when you don't go over the guest list yourself._

* * *

The eighth day was the day the party from Kage no Kuni arrived. Kakashi shunshined down to the village gates as soon as the messenger chunnin gasped out the news of the large group approaching and was already there waiting when the delegation stopped to show their documentation.

The delegation was the most varied and striking yet, with ninja and samurai of drastically different heights and colouring at the head of a column of sevants and mules. Other than servants, samurai and shinobi there were also four people dressed in the manner of the nobility, two men and two women.

The lead ninja, a tall, fair-skinned man in gleaming black armour like an insect exoskeleton with midnight blue eyes and curly black hair in a high ponytail, was the one to address the chunnin on gate duty:

"Greetings. I am Tatsuteiou Yorumaki, sixty-seventh yorukage, here for the marriage of my brother's daughter to a ninja of your village." The man smiled winningly, looking no more than twenty-five as the unfortunate duo assigned to checking the paperwork stammered and stuttered, their eyes nearly popping out of their heads.

In addition to the youthful-looking kage in black armour there were five other ninja, four samurai, a couple in civilian clothing who had to be Ame's biological parents, an elderly lady in elaborate court garb and the daimyou of Shadow Country himself, who introduced himself as 'Tatsuteiyou Taiyoumaki, ninety-fifth daimyou and father of the bride'. The platinum haired, gold-eyed and tawny-skinned man looked more like a warrior than a politician and positively radiated chakra, making the Hatake wish his fiancée had had the forethought to at least _mention_ that she was technically a princess before letting him leave the house to go and meet her family.

* * *

**Omake **

In less than a day after the arrival of the shinobi from Cloud Kakashi had learnt that the raikage was a forceful and temperamental man who didn't much care for using doors. Thankfully Ame's tendency to set seals everywhere meant that the mansion's load-bearing stone and wooden walls were Kage-proof ‒and probably summon proof at that‒ and the internal wooden-framed paper partitions and sliding doors were self-repairing.

Ei's guards seemed to find it hilarious that their Kage was bouncing _off_ the walls rather than barging _through_ them.

**Notes**

Nuurihyon = impostor spirit; guess what clan this guy is from..?

Kuraigakure = village hidden in the twilight

Yorukage = dark shadow

A/N: Kakashi gets to meet the guests. I've decided to only touch on the actual ceremony in passing and then move on the the giving of gifts to the happy couple, as there will be more story-worthy goings on at that point. Plus, you'll then get to find out what it was Itachi did.


	66. Itachi: Shadows

**Itachi: Shadows**

Due to his dressing to blend in with the rest of the former ROOT shinobi, Itachi found himself being roped into the generic fetching, carrying and mindless guarding inherent to all state wedding ceremonies. Ironically, the ex-Konoha ninja was assigned to the Kage no Kuni party as a general contact and helper. He had an uneasy feeling that both Yamikage and Shadow daimyo knew _exactly_ who he was and didn't care, which would explain nicely where Sempai-chan's dubious sense on humour came from.

Other than that mild background disquiet the day before the wedding ceremony was relatively pleasant and peaceful. Itachi's Yuurei partner –who was the most active Nara the Uchiha had _ever_ met– was happy to run errands and keep an eye on the samurai half of the delegation so the incognito nukenin was left to supervise the Twilight shinobi. Well, the active shinobi; the daimyo, yamikage and well-dressed couple were technically all ninja as well but since they were guests of honour they weren't allowed time to train and were followed around by overly-obsessive samurai guards.

Itachi's charges were all identically dressed in dark grey with identical snarling lion-dog masks, deep red and gold leaf on smooth porcelain with more seals hidden amongst the paintwork than the Uchiha had ever seen in one place before. The five nins were however distinguishable from one-another by their weapons and the subtle decorations on their uniforms as well as their varying heights and builds. Itachi suspected they also had different hair, but all five wore red and gold rag wigs like lions' manes attached to their masks, effectively hiding said hair. Seeing them all together helped the nukenin understand why Sempai-chan had insisted on making the Yuurei all dress alike: a group of almost-identical shinobi was both intimidating and confusing, which granted said shinobi an automatic advantage over their foes.

The five were also fairly friendly for supposed xenophobe isolationists. Very friendly indeed, considering they were elite bodyguards in unknown territory a long way from reinforcements. They all introduced themselves by first name and specialisation: Shinji, the medic; Namazu, the sensor; Rokkugi, the heavy hitter; Aiiro, the long range specialist and Ginme, the only woman in the group, who ambiguously described her role as being 'support'. Itachi spent the entire morning sparring with them, weapons and taijutsu only. Ginme, who was apparently the oldest present, made a point of reminding the others that using kekkai genkai would be cheating, which suggested that most if not all of them had bloodlines of one kind or another.

* * *

Further quiet attention to casual banter revealed that Shinji and Rokkugi were second cousins, that Namazu and Aiiro worked together like they'd been doing it for years and that part of Shinji's role in combat was to watch Ginme's back. All five were very good, each used a totally different weapon and their ages ranged from Rokkugi, the youngest at barely fifteen, to Ginme, who was twenty-six and a mother of three children. That she was nonetheless an ANBU-quality kunoichi and had been sent out on an important and highly visible bodyguarding mission indicated how exceptionally capable she had to be to have been selected in spite of her other responsibilities.

Itachi found the team dynamic fascinating. Namazu, the sensor, was the leader with Aiiro as his second. Ginme's entire purpose seemed to be to counterbalance the energetic and volatile Rokkugi –who despite being by far the most powerful shinobi of the group was lowest in the hierarchy– while Shinji was slightly outside the pecking order due to his status as team medic, which gave him absolute authority over the injured. The Uchiha successfully determined that the inin was a new addition to the team while the other two pairs had considerable prior experience of working together. He also discovered –when they stopped for lunch and trailed back to the Hatake mansion– that Shinji was Sempai-chan's younger brother and that yesterday had been the first time the siblings had ever seen each-other face-to-face. Itachi couldn't imagine what it would have been like to have grown up without ever being allowed to even _see_ one's baby brother.

* * *

Over lunch the Kurai ninja kept up a lively dialogue with the shinobi from Kumo and Shou on weaponry, which naturally led to a few friendly challenges being made and a general agreement to spar together as soon as the meal was over. Itachi agreed to referee, repeated Ginme's initial conditions of taijutsu and weapons only and leapt out of the way as Namazu swung his bō staff at Zabuza with cheerful abandon. In a strictly physical fight the two were well-matched, their weapons' extended reach largely cancelling each-other out. After twenty minutes of exceptional footwork and surprisingly varied form Itachi declared the spar a draw. The two nins shook hands before departing the field so Darui and Aiiro could have their match.

That fight was much more exciting as the Twilight shinobi's favoured weapon was a kusarigama, which he wielded to great effect against the Cloud jounin's sword. After that match was a fast-paced taijutsu battle between Motoi of Kumo and Rokkugi, the latter of whom cheerfully admitted that he was primarily a ninjutsu type. The wickedly sharp-clawed gauntlets the younger shinobi wore however still gave his opponent plenty to worry about until Motoi finally managed to pin the manic teen in a choke hold and held a kunai to his ribs. Rokkugi admitted defeat with aplomb, informed the older shinobi that in a real battle he would have won in the first fifteen seconds then returned to sit with his comrades.

Next up were Kayuga Kimmimaro and Shinji.

"Ninja-san, might it be permissible to use kekkai genkai in our fight?" the Kayuga asked Itachi politely. "I generally use my bones in battle."

Itachi looked across at Shinji, who shrugged.

"Kayuga-san," the twilight-nin said frankly, "If I match my kekkai genkai against yours you will lose. My bloodline is specifically adapted to healing and bones are my specialty; you would be better off borrowing a blade to use against my knives that challenging me in an area where I hold the advantage."

Kimmimaro looked affronted. "Prove it, shade-walker."

Shinji shrugged, put his slender blades away and settled into an unusually open taijutsu stance. The Kayuga drew two long white bones from his upper arms and charged.

The fight was over so quickly that Itachi had to go over it again in his mind to work out exactly what had happened: Shinji's hands had glowed soft green and he had brushed his fingers along each bone blade as Kimmimaro lunged then hit the Kayuga's sternum with a firm palm strike. A volley of cracking noises had bounced around the clearing as the bone blades had dissolved into powder and the white-haired ninja had collapsed silently into his opponent's arms. The Kurai shinobi had then very carefully laid the Kayuga out on the grass and held his hands out over the unconscious teen's crumpled torso, green chakra radiating from his fingers.

"What the hell did you _do_ to him, kid?" Zabuza asked. The medic shrugged sheepishly, never looking up from his patient:

"I shattered his ribcage. Like I said, bones are my specialty, no matter whether I'm breaking or mending them. He'll be as good as new by tomorrow, I promise."

That casual display of power and control ensured that nobody else even considered asking to use more than strictly physical abilities in the sparring matches. It was only considerably later, after all the ninja present other than Kimmimaro had fought at least three times each, that the Kayuga asked stiffly if Shinji was the only Kurai ninja present to have a bloodline.

"Actually we all do," Namazu said frankly. "All five of us come from one or another of Shadow country's fifteen founding clans; well thirteen really since two have since merged to form the ruling Tatsuteiou clan and one is so diffuse that ninety-five percent of all people in our country could theoretically claim to belong to it."

"I am a Junjosei," Shinji offered. "We are all medics and assassins since our chakra can either heal or poison according to our will."

"I am Sankasen; our kekkai genkai is called denki kankaku or electric perception. We are sensors able to perceive the natural bioelectricity of our surroundings," Namazu went on. "Rokkugi is a Genseisen, bearer of the kotai no maroboshi which is the bloodline that made the Akumugami so feared. Those gifted or cursed with that kekkai genkai can create illusions able to physically affect reality."

Zabuza whistled softly. "Serious shit."

"Indeed," Ginme agreed. "I am Ashikaga; we are a hijutsu clan rather than true bloodline bearers, though there is a genetic component. Our techniques enable us to share our chakra with our comrades so they can fight longer and harder than would otherwise be safe for them to do so."

That sounded like a very useful skill; jutsu like that could win a battle Itachi knew. If Ginme worked in tandem with Rokkugi –which seemed to be what was usually done– the boy could easily obliterate large groups of enemy ninja without the risk of exhausting himself.

"I on the other hand am a Tsubame," Aiiro said conversationally. "Our kekkai genkai enables us to fly on the winds we manipulate."

"You can _fly_?" Motoi repeated, astounded. "Really fly?"

Aiiro laughed, leapt to his feet and threw himself into the air, briefly spiralling up skywards in the centre of the clearing before dropping gracefully back to the ground.

"Wow," Darui said, razing a lazy eyebrow. "That's pretty out there."

"Do any of you have bloodlines other than Kayuga-san?" Namazu asked curiously.

"I am capable of using black lightning, but that is a hijutsu rather than a bloodline," Darui volunteered after a short pause. It wasn't like he was revealing a secret; Itachi had seen the Cloud jounin's bingo book profile.

"I've got nothing but my apprentice can create ice," Zabuza offered.

Motoi shrugged. "My family has handed down the owl contract for generations but we have no bloodline to speak of."

"Owls?" Rokkugi perked up, coming out of his daydream. "My clan has shrews."

"There is a shrew summoning contract?" Itachi heard himself asking.

"Aa. It's been in the clan since forever and we're all on it," Rokkugi said. "All of the thirteen ninja clans have a summoning contract they are aligned with, though individuals can and do sign other contracts as well. Aiiro's clan have the swallow contract."

"My clan has badgers," Ginme added.

"Eels," Namazu said shortly.

"We have kraits," Shinji said. "almost every singly ninja in Shadow country is on one contract at the very least; it's how we stay in contact with one-another. Ame-yogensha is my onee-san and we exchange letters regularly through the family summoning contract. It is expected, if not precisely approved of."

"Yogensha-sama is your sister?" Kimmimaro repeated. "Then I am not so surprised that you were able to defeat me so easily."

"She is fairly amazing," Darui agreed.

Shinji shrugged. "She is a strategist, tactician and warrior without equal. I however am the superior medic; I've had the proper training and she hasn't."

"Is that why you chose to pursue a career in the medical field?" Itachi inquired shrewdly. Sasuke had never had the maturity or wisdom to try and excel in a different field than his older brother, instead choosing to chase after his older brother and never being satisfied with his progress.

"It was part of it," Shinji agreed, "but most of my decision was based on the simple fact that I prefer putting people back together to taking them apart. It is more of a challenge."

* * *

Notes

Kurai = twilight

Kumo = cloud

Shou = reef

hijutsu = secret technique

A/N: Meet some of the ninja from Shadow country and see what Itachi's been doing with his time. I will not be covering the wedding ceremony in detail but the party afterwards will receive a lot of attention. After all, that is when things tend to happen.

I have too many stories on the go and they are all suffering for it. Bah.


	67. Kakashi: Gifts

**Kakashi: Gifts**

Kakashi was supremely grateful to all the kami that the wedding ceremony went off without a hitch despite the disparate crowd of guests attending. The geisha present were invaluable, smoothly steering those parties who were not on civil terms with one another so that they were never required to make polite conversation. The copy-nin suspected that the various summons present had something to do with the polite orderliness of the human guests: while the lizards, owls, weasels, toads, dogs and crows are impressive, as are the snakes, swallows, badgers, horses and shrews, the three massive dragons coiled around the trees just outside the wedding pavilion are a more effective deterrent to those interested in causing trouble. There are other summons visible as well –geese, giant moths, cranes, bats, slugs and a water tank containing sharks, eels and piranhas– but Kakashi was convinced there were more he couldn't see as well. Ame-chan had been right to warn him; the feeling of being watched, even by neutral eyes, made his shoulder blades itch.

Once the ceremony was completed, everyone was ushered into the dining hall for the trickiest part of the whole event: receiving the wedding gifts. Considering there were two daimyos, three kages, numerous diplomats and dozens of nobles in attendance on top of at least half of the Elemental Nations' most powerful ninja, this part would take a lot of hard work to survive without accidentally offending anyone.

* * *

The copy-nin was just grateful that, as the bride and highest ranking of the two of them, Ame would be responsible for receiving the gifts and thanking everyone appropriately. He just had to stand there in his new and extremely formal Hatake clan kimono, hakama and haori and say thank-you or bow at the appropriate intervals. As his input was not required he let himself slide into automatic and blanked out the first dozen gifts –from the daimyos and various representatives of absent daimyos– and was only jerked back into reality by the chorus of whispers that arose after the Rain delegate –Konan– handed over a land deed. It wasn't the first land deed Ame had been given –Sea Country had presented her with an entire _island_– but there was something about the land the blue-haired kunoichi had just handed over that had shocked the gathered audience.

Thinking back over what he knew of the Land of Rain and its geography, Kakashi realised that the waterlogged swamp that the representative had just given his bride was the main breeding ground of the infamous black salamanders. Which did not fit in with the kind of message that Hanzou the Salamander would send; was the man who had named the Legendary Sannin no longer running Amegakure? _If he is indeed dead, who is in charge now and why __a__re they giving the_ _breeding grounds of the most deadly animal in the Elemental Nations, for whose poison no antidote exists, __to my koi? Never mind that Ame is not officially allied to Fire or any nation at all. I foresee many political headaches to come._

Ame simply smiled graciously, thanked the bluette kunoichi politely and moved on to the next gift-giver,a diplomat from Moon Kingdom who announced that his king had sent over a saber-toothed tiger for the bride. He was followed by a procession of civilian nobles who all presented Ame with paintings, statues, relics and other works of art ranging from shoji sets made of precious stones to bonsai trees. The last civilian in line was Taiyoumaki in his capacity of father of the bride, who headed a small procession of servants carrying packages. His gift to his daughter was an entire wardrobe's worth of kimono and other clothing suitable for a married woman.

There was a break after that, for which Kakashi was very grateful: he needed a sit-down and a stiff drink before the shinobi guests present started presenting their gifts. _At least the Yuurei make good fetch-and carry minions._

The copy-nin was also inordinately thankful for the impressive quantities of high-quality alcohol being served, as it seriously reduced the chances of someone taking offence to perceived slights or –if it came to it– successfully retaliating to said slights and injuring any of the other guests.

Once all of the gifts from the first round had been removed and everyone had had a few drinks, chatted a little and sat back down again the hokage himself opened the second round, presenting to the bride a very old and ornate set of scrolls. Ame accepted them with a bow and a smile, handing the gift on to the masked minion to her left who placed them carefully on the table behind her for safekeeping. Next up was the raikage, who handed over an ornate wooden box. Ame opened the box, revealing a very fine piece of electronic equipment the purpose of which Kakashi was uncertain of. His bride however did not enlighten him, closing the box and thanking Ei for his generosity. Next up were the Suna ninja then the small party from Iwa, followed by the renegade Shou faction.

The Shou faction got everyone's attention by giving Ame what looked like a very old and beautiful sword case.

"You found it?" The night-eyed newly-wed asked Ao,tone somewhere between shock and wonder.

"Aa. Terumi-sama insisted," the blue-haired shinobi said enigmatically, fingering his eyepatch. "Had it tested, too; you're the best person to keep hold of it until a suitable wielder comes along."

"My humble thanks for the honour you do me," Ame murmured, bowing low in thanks and accepting the gift. After the Shou ninja had returned to their table individual ninja and clan representatives took it in turns to bestow presents upon the couple. Kakashi noticed that Konan came back, this time representing herself, and gave Ame a jewellery case. The silver-haired groom let his attention drift a little until a short, slender male with his face obscured by a subtle genjutsu stepped up to the front of the room and dropped gracefully to his knees before Ame.

"I, Uchiha Itachi, do in accordance with the laws of my clan place the governance of said clan in the hands of Hatake Amemaihana, born of the Genseisen and Junjosei clans and acknowledged eldest daughter of the head of the Tatsuteiou clan," the disguised nukenin said clearly above the rising buzz of outrage. Yuurei appeared here and there in the audience keeping people in their seats and out of the corner of his eye Kakashi could see the hokage signing to those closest to him to stand down.

"Also," the Uchiha went on, "in accordance with the kinslayer laws laid down by the Uchiha clan before the founding of Konoha, I place my life in the hands of my clan's caretaker and my talents at her disposal. Her I serve and her alone, as is required."

"I, Hatake Amemaihana, eldest daughter of Taiyoumaki, head of the Tatsuteiou clan, do accept stewardship of the Uchiha clan until one of proper blood, temperament and experience comes of age and the life-service of one Uchiha Itachi, former clan heir, in perpetuity," Ame said clearly, her voice carrying to the back of the room as she traced a design with chakra-infused fingers on top of the kneeling nukenin's bowed head.

"Witnessed," growled the raikage, slamming his fist down on the table at his side and nearly upsetting the sake cups.

The furor gradually died down with a flurry of further assertions that the transaction had been witnessed and the teenage former outlaw, his face now visible, scooted around so as to be kneeling at Ame's side and a little behind her. He did not even for a moment lift his eyes from scrutinising the polished wooden floor.

* * *

After a few minutes of further confusion the procession continued, though the hissing whispers from the civilian guests and fast-moving fingers of the shinobi present showed that the supposed perpetrator of the infamous Uchiha Massacre has effectively stolen the show. Not even Tatsuteiou Yorumaki's gift of half-a-dozen assorted domestic staff plus offspring or Zetsu's disturbingly aware-looking carnivorous plant managed to get peoples' attention back on the parade of treasures changing hands.

Kakashi's attention however snapped back to the procession of guests when Naruto stepped forward with a cube shaped, elegantly carved and lacquered box.

"For my foster mother, without whom I would never have achieved what I have or dared to even dream of doing so," the blond said calmly and clearly as he opened the box.

There was a collective gasp as the pearl as large as two clenched fists revealed within gleamed luminously. Ame accepted the gift to overloud mutters of hoshi no tama and kitsune, closing the box again as Naruto bowed and retreated. The copy-nin seriously doubted that more than a third of those present would ever be able to associate the sober, well-mannered and exquisitely dressed young man they'd just seen with the orange-clad prankster and all-round loudmouth who'd terrorised the village less than a year previously.

Next up was Sasuke, whose face was as still as if it had been carved in stone. There was instantly a hush as the assembled dignitaries waited with baited breath to see what the so-called Last Uchiha would do to the one who had made that title possible. Kakashi had no idea what was going on behind his student's facade, which was pretty impressive for a green genin. The feathery-haired pre-teen gracefully walked forward until he was standing in front of his sensei's wife, utterly ignoring his older brother's presence. Itachi could have been a smear of mud on the floor for all the attention Sasuke paid him.

All in all the younger Uchiha comported himself with dignity and aplomb, presenting to Ame an exquisite set of silk paintings that had been part of the dowry of Uchiha Izuna's wife: a priceless relic of the roving clans period. He then bowed as required and retreated to his seat next to Naruto. Once he was seated again Sakura came forward, moving a little stiffly due to recent training injuries and a brand-new formal kimono. Her gift to Ame was modest, as was appropriate for the only member of a newly-formed ninja clan: a pair of functional steel tessen, elegant in their simplicity and as suited for court as for the battlefield. Kakashi found it vaguely amusing that all three of Konoha's official one-person-clans were part of his genin team; hopefully within the month they would be his _chunnin_ team.

His team having done their part, other miscellaneous ninja came forward to give gifts. Kakashi mainly ignored them –even the smartly-dressed and unusually quiet-voiced Gai– and focussed instead on the order of precedence his genin team had shown; it said quite a lot both about them and the ingenuity and tact of whoever had been in charge of the ordering of the guests.

* * *

Naruto had approached first as heir to a powerful but foreign clan and also as the son of a former hokage, though most people would have missed that. Foreigners always went first and the children of hokages ranked above clan heirs, if not clan heads. Sasuke had come next, as was proper for the eldest Uchiha who could legitimately aspire to the title of head of his clan and de-facto clan heir. The copy-nin thought it more likely that Inutaicho would eventually take over that position; Sasuke was a follower not a leader and would be perfectly happy as an ANBU captain following his Hokage's orders without question. The boy of course had no idea that he had a dozen cousins still among the living, at least three of whom were genin level. Inutaicho, Neko and Kame were all ready for a jounin-sensei but Ame had insisted they attend a full year at the Academy so as to integrate properly with their peers. Kakashi seriously doubted that Usagi, Nezumi and Tori more than one year in the Academy either; the Kamen-Uchiha children were dangerously bright and surprisingly well-adjusted.

Sakura had approached last, as the only member of a ninja clan so newly ratified the ink was still fresh. Her unique jutsu were what had afforded her clan status, since they were as dangerous and valuable as the Yamanaka mind techniques. Her clan was currently a convenient legal fiction but as soon as she was physically mature she would be encouraged to leave active duty and ensure her clan's continuation, thereby preventing her hijutsu from being lost should she die.

Kakashi did not doubt that the pinkette would live long enough to complain bitterly about her duties as a clan heir; her team-mates would make sure of it.

As the Kamen-Uchiha children came forward in a clump, Ahiru right behind them as designated wrangler, the copy-nin concentrated once more on the proceedings. Failing to pay attention to his foster-children would not win him any points.

* * *

AN: The wedding arc is over now folks! Success! Many thanks to Obakeinu-9.11 for the comprehensive outline that made everything possible!

Now we will return to the Chunnin finals/Invasion Arc and pick up were we left off with Naruto a few days before the third exam. Writing this has been nerve-wracking but your support and encouragement stopped me from giving up entirely. A round of applause for my lovely reviewers!

Though I wouldn't say no to hearing from more of my readers...


	68. Naruto: Summoning

Back to Naruto and team seven near the end of their month of training. Things will be hotting up soon!**  
**

**Naruto: Summoning**

Looking back, Naruto was honestly impressed that Sasuke had managed to keep it together during the wedding party considering his history with Itachi. Ame-kaa-san had rewarded the younger Uchiha's forbearance with a private appointment the very next afternoon: Naruto had glimpsed his team-mate leaving afterwards, looking like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Now however he had been called upon to see Ame-kaa-san and considering the third exam was only days away, it was probably for a status report with Kakashi-sensei and the rest of team seven. He'd only seen Sakura half a dozen times in the past month including at the wedding. He'd only seen more of Sasuke due to his responsibilities from the youki-filled seal: He'd diligently sent a shadow clone to the Last Uchiha every single day of training to educate his team-mate on youkai matters. Sasuke had formed kage bunshin of his own to listen to the lectures while Kakashi or Nuurihyon trained the original's taijutsu and ninja-to proficiency to greater heights or Shin taught genjutsu. His team-mate also muscled his way through an accelerated course on elemental manipulation and took to it like a duck to water, mastering a handful of simple ration manipulation exercises and improving his lightning ninjutsu until he could do them with fewer or no seals. Most of Naruto's later clones had been killed at the end of the session by one of those techniques.

The blond made his way to the main tea room on the ground floor of the Hatake mansion in his usual grey outfit, hair tied back in a stubby tail at the nape of his neck and tabi-clad feet making no sound on the polished wooden floors. After the wedding Ame-kaa-san had filled the entire building with an ingenious system of nightingale floors operated by seals: if you were keyed into the central matrix then expelling chakra from your feet would prevent the boards from squeaking. However if you weren't keyed in you had to put up with the noise or risk triggering the trap seals intertwined with the support seals.

Behind Naruto his tou-san in his Ahiru-clone body strode equally silently, Ittan-momen crawling across the ceiling above them both. None of the Yuurei were keyed to the floors but their unique uniforms contained numerous seal matrices, one of which enabled the wearer to navigate the mansion's ceilings without setting off the defences. The Yuurei _were_ individually keyed to the barracks behind the main house, which was where the uniforms were kept and the only place they could actually be taken off, even if the wearer was dead and in pieces. Part of the seals in the outfits ensured they could not be removed from the premises unless someone was wearing them and both clothing and masks were booby-trapped against non-registered persons. Naruto had seen the seals and unravelling them was considerably beyond his current capabilities.

On reaching the tea room Naruto slid open the door and stepped inside, moving forward a little more than usual to allow entry to the two adults behind him. As he entered Ame-kaa-san swept forward from across the room to hug him. The blond genin returned the embrace enthusiastically: he hadn't been able to spend much more than a few minutes of personal time with his kaa-san in weeks.

"Come sit down, Naruto-kun," Ame-kaa-san said with a warm smile. "Ahiru, Ittan-momen, sit or stand as you prefer. The rest of team seven and their senseis will be here soon."

It was not long after Naruto had made himself comfortable that the squeaks and groans of the nightingale floors heralded the arrival of the others: Sakura accompanied by two Yuurei, one's mask painted like a snarling cat and the other decorated with an unnaturally wide needle-toothed grin; Sasuke with Kakashi-sensei and followed by a Yuurei whose mask portrayed the wrinkled features of a Nuurihyon. The adults remained standing near the room's walls while the three genin sat in front of the tea table.

Kakashi walked around the table to stand beside his night-eyed wife, his lone grey eye briefly taking in the rest of the group. "Well?" the silver-haired jounin asked laconically.

Ame-kaa-san smiled, the myriad pinpoints of light in her eyesockets shimmering. "Uzumaki Naruto is proficient in the manipulation of his primary element and his sealing ability has progressed," she said simply.

"He is experienced in countering gentle fist taijutsu and his kenjutsu has improved," Ittan-momen continued, voice as blandly inoffensive as ever.

"He has expanded his taijutsu repertoire and knows at least one ninjutsu of each element," Ahiru went on. "He also knows when and how to use these techniques to best advantage."

Naruto felt very proud of his recent achievements. The understated praise was something he was used to: the Mitsusha okaa-san was similarly parsimonious in complementing his work.

Kakashi-sensei nodded once. "Good. Sakura?"

The Yuurei masked with a toothy smile nodded. "Haruno Sakura has improved her taijutsu and her ability to infuse and manipulate fabric with chakra shows promise," she said stiffly. Naruto could only tell the speaker was female from her chakra; the uniform and voice distorter in the mask made any other means of identification impossible.

"She has learnt a good range of basic ijutsu and is creative in their usage," the snarl-masked Yuurei added. "She can also harvest, mix, identify, deploy and counter an adequate range of toxins. Hyou tells me her stealth has also increased."

Sakura smiled, her bobbed hair swinging slightly as her spine stiffened at hearing her teachers' praise.

"Sou." Kakashi-sensei's eye moved from the pinkette to the Uchiha. "Uchiha Sasuke shows understanding and basic proficiency in the manipulation of his primary element."

"His ability with ninja-to has increased enough for him to be considered proficient," Nuurihyon added, "and Shin concedes that his understanding and ability to counter genjutsu is adequate for a ninja of his age and background."

Sasuke did not so much as twitch but managed to radiate a fierce pride in his achievements.

"Good enough, I suppose," the cyclopean jounin conceded. "Thanks for your hard work; I'll take it from here."

The four Yuurei and Ahiru took this as a dismissal, leaving the room through its windows. Ame-kaa-san stayed.

"My wife has gifts for each of you," Kakashi-sensei went on, "which given your training you are now capable of actually using properly. Don't disappoint me, ne? Fancy tricks are no match for real skill."

Ame-kaa-san smiled at the trio of eager faces opposite her and produced three slightly battered scrolls from her kimono sleeve. She laid them out of the tea table, gently caressing the sturdy paper before picking up the one to her left. "Naruto-kun, this is the fox summoning contract. Be careful with it; foxes are notoriously tricky and their preferred sacrifices vary considerably from one individual to another. Remember to bargain first and set clear terms so as to avoid unpleasant surprises."

"Hai, Ame-kaa-san," Naruto breathed reverently, accepting the scroll. "Arigatou."

"Sakura-chan, this contract is for rabbits and hares," the Yogensha went on, picking up the next scroll. "Though the two species are very similar they have certain profound differences I recommend you memorise and take advantage of. I feel they will suit your specific abilities and tendencies admirably."

The pink-haired kunoichi bowed low, forehead briefly touching the tatami mats. "A thousand thanks, Amemai-dono."

"Sasuke-kun," the young woman said finally, pushing the remaining scroll across the table. "This is yours not through my choosing but because they asked for you. It is the contract for the crows and related corvids. Their requirements are rather odd, more so than most other species', but I believe you will suit them admirably all things considered." It was impossible to guess in which direction Ame-kaa-san was looking but Naruto just _knew_ she had glanced at the blood red tri-comma seal on Sasuke's neck when she said that last bit.

Sasuke bowed just as low as Sakura had. "Arigatou, Yogensha-san," he murmured gruffly before reaching out and taking the scroll.

"I suggest you use the next few days to practice once you've signed the contract," Kakashi-sensei said easily, "but make sure you actually _read_ the details before signing, ne? Make sure you know what you're getting into."

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei!" team seven chorused, rising to their feet.

"Off you go then," their sensei said with an eye-smile. "Find an empty secluded place to train and get to it. Oh, and don't forget to turn up at the arena in the morning on the day of the finals!" He gallantly lifted his wife to her feet and left the room with her.

"We'll use the Uchiha training grounds," Sasuke said firmly as they turned to leave the room after their sensei.

"Thanks Teme!" Naruto said with a grin, slipping his new summoning scroll inside one of his sleeves.

* * *

Once team seven had retreated to a suitably isolated training field within the Uchiha compound Naruto sat down on the grass and opened his scroll. According to Hibana-onee, the first rule of contracts was not to sign them unless you'd read, understood and agreed to what they said. The language the summoning contract was written in was fairly archaic but his geisha education stood him in good stead, enabling him to get through the entire document with only a few pauses.

"Naruto? Do you know what this says?" Sakura asked tentatively from her spot across from him, pointing to a symbol about two-thirds of the way down her scroll. The geisha-trained teen shuffled over for a closer look.

"That's a kanji indicating a fortified settlement," he said after determining that it was _not_ the pictogram for snowflake.

"Some of these conditions and caveats are just _weird_," Sakura said with a faint frown. "I'm going to have to find somewhere to grow plants."

Naruto shrugged. "I can help," he offered; "I like gardening. Kaa-san told me once that the real reason there are so few species with summoning contracts in that most ninja are unable or unwilling to abide by the conditions set in exchange for aid. As a result only the groups with the simplest of contracts are summoned. Toads for example just want food in exchange for their efforts; apparently the toad boss really likes sake."

"Taicho?" Sasuke asked, frowning at his scroll. "Can you read these?"

Naruto shifted over to where his other team-mate was sprawled across the grass. If the three of them had all had living family the Uchiha would have been the most knowledgeable regarding archaic script and traditions. Instead he was the least so, trailing after Sakura's insatiable thirst for reading material and Naruto's traditional education.

"That's a collective noun for a group of corvids implying some kind of tengu connection; that is the kanji for adoption, the type used by the extremely traditional samurai families and the third one means duties or responsibilities, generally clan duties," Naruto explained. "Does that help?"

"Un," Sasuke grunted absently, regressing slightly as he doggedly continued his reading. The blond left him to it, returning to his own scroll.

The foxes, so far as he could tell, wanted to have fun, go on adventures and learn new things. Novelty and entertainment were therefore their coin of choice. If he actually signed the contract and went through with all this he'd have to invest in toys, trinkets and prank materials as well as set up practical jokes and tricks for them to watch and enjoy. They also liked certain types of food, particularly fried food.

Deciding that all things considered becoming a fox summoner could only improve his situation in the long run, he nicked his left hand with a kunai and signed the contract in blood, adding a bloody handprint at the end as surety.

"Sakura, Teme, I'm gonna try this out and see how much chakra it needs," he said aloud, swiftly cleaning he blood off his hands and brush and rolling up the scroll. Sakura immediately turned to face him, her face never rising from her own contract while Sasuke just un-ed absently. It seemed the jinchuuriki's plot to goad his team-mate into calling him 'Dobe' again was doomed to failure. Oh well.

Naruto called up as much chakra as he used in a solid kage bunshin that would last about four hours and channelled it into the summoning jutsu; portioning out his chakra had gotten a lot easier since learning to walk up trees and across water. There was a puff of smoke and once it cleared the blond demon container found himself nose to nose with a _very_ large russet fox with three tails.

"New summoner, sou?" he enquired, turning his head to look the genin in the eye. "Omedetou."

Naruto nodded carefully, very aware that he was facing down a large predator with pointy teeth. "Domou arigatou," he replied to the kitsune's congratulations. "How should I address you?"

The fox chuckled. "Azukiiro will do, kit."

"Eeto, I have questions? About the contract, I mean," Naruto went on, voice gradually becoming less hesitant, "and about kitsune in general. I mean, I'd like to know a bit more about the individual strengths of my new allies and how each one prefers to be rewarded."

Azukiiro huffed and dropped to sprawl across the grass. "Smart kit, ne? Good; it's been a while since we had a proper summoner. Very well." He looked around at Sasuke and Sakura, both of whom were now eyeing him over their respective contracts. "Just not here. Private business, don't you think?"

Naruto understood that. "Can I try summoning someone smaller first? Just to find the lower limit of the jutsu?"

"Sure, An'nai," the kitsune drawled. Naruto guessed 'An'nai' was what the foxes called their summoner; 'guide' was not particularly respectful but it implied a certain amount of leadership in a backhanded way.

This time Naruto used just enough chakra for a decent-sized fireball and got a normal-sized cream fox with big blue eyes.

"Kyaa!" she squealed on laying eyes on the jinchuuriki. "New guide is kawaii!" The fox then turned into a fourteen-year-old girl with cream-coloured hair wearing a skimpy top and short skirt and glomped him.

"Release An'nai, Botan-chan," Azukiiro said with a sigh. The pale kitsune in human form pouted but released her captive.

"What is your specialty, Botan-chan?" Naruto asked as soon as he'd got his breath back.

"I distract!" the little vixen said proudly, switching back to fox form. "I create fuss and bother to draw the eye away from the doings of others. My disguises are impenetrable, even to other kitsune!" she smirked, an odd expression on a fox. "I like to be paid in pretty things. Will you buy me pretty things, An'nai?"

"If I need your help I will," Naruto compromised. "Thank-you for your time, Botan-chan."

"Abayo!" the fox chirped before vanishing in a puff of chakra smoke.

"That was about as much chakra as an average-sized katon: endan," Naruto said out loud for Sasuke and Sakura's benefit. "I'm gonna go talk with Azukiiro alone now guys."

"Thanks Naruto," Sakura said, signing her own contract and healing the cut she had had to make.

"Un," Sasuke nodded, eyes returning to his scroll.

The blond headed into the woods, ox-sized three-tailed fox ambling agreeably behind him. Naruto had a great many questions he wanted to ask; hopefully his new summon wouldn't demand anything too costly in exchange for the answers.

* * *

Notes

tabi = japanese split-toed socks

youki = demon emergy

youkai = demon/ nature spirit

sou = I see; that's how it is

omedetou = congrats

eeto = lets see; well...

an'nai = guidance, guide

A/N: We return to the plot and proper timeline, picking up from chapter 64. Next chapter we start the chunnin exam finals and get to see the fights!

Oh, and the Hyou mentioned in this chapter as one of Sakura's teachers is the same Yuurei as was Itachi's partner in chapter 66, though he isn't mentioned there by name. He is however noted as being a rather hyperactive Nara. Little bit of background there.

Does anyone want to hear more about the background of some of the Ghosts? Ittan-momen has a rather interesting story...


	69. Naruto: Conquest

**Naruto: Conquest**

Naruto stood patiently in the middle of the arena where the final phase of the chunnin exams would take place, Sasuke and Sakura flanking him. Of the three genin –indeed, of all those standing in the arena– Naruto was the only one in traditional dress: dove grey hakama under a mottled grey haori decorated with storm clouds belted by a blood red obi patterned with flowing ripples. The blond's shoulder-length hair was tied up in a samurai-style topknot, making him look totally different to how he used to and rather Yamanaka-ish. Sasuke wore a pitch-black Chinese jacket and indigo trousers bandaged at the ankles, ninja-to hilt peeking over one shoulder as he stood to attention on Naruto's right and stared straight ahead. Sakura to his left had on dark pink leggings and kimono-style top under her white medic coat, hands shoved in capacious pockets as above and all around them the audience chattered and rustled like an oncoming storm.

Dosu the Oto-nin hadn't arrived but all the other genin were there, arrayed on either side of team seven and forming a slight curve facing the proctor.

The only reason they hadn't started yet was that the kazekage still hadn't shown up. This was not entirely unprecedented; arriving slightly late and making people wait for you was an age-old way to flaunt power. Naruto sighed softly, mentally going over his weapons and resources. Ame-kaa-san had been a little odd this morning and had insisted all of them be armed for S-class nukenin before letting them leave the house.

His foster-mother wasn't coming to watch the match, having chosen instead to spend the day at home with the baby triplets and the younger kids. Itachi and Han however had come and were somewhere in the audience, as were an undisclosed number of Yuurei. Ittan-momen for one had promised to turn up and watch him flatten Neji.

The blond jinchuuriki wasn't particularly bothered by Ame-kaa-san's absence: he was after all the oldest of sixteen now and the babies always came first. Besides, he had been promised a party if he actually got promoted, which was even better. His mother's bloodline meant that she could 'watch' his match without being here anyway and anyway, she didn't much care about his career. To her he was Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto and that was all that mattered.

* * *

Naruto glanced up as the Sandaime announced the start of the exams; the kazekage had finally arrived and was sitting next to the hokage in the box. Unfortunately the blond had been forced to keep down the range of his sensory abilities since turning up at the arena as such a high concentration of people in such a small space would otherwise be dizzying. Which was a shame, as he would have liked to get a feel for the kage of a rival village, especially considering who said kage's children were.

"Alright guys," the proctor, one Shiranui Genma who Naruto knew very well indeed from the tokubetsu jounin's frequent visits to Benihime, started. "This is the final test. The arena is different but just as in the preliminaries, there are no rules: you fight until one of you dies or acknowledges defeat. But if I decide a fight is over, you stop or I will step in and make you stop. Got that?" He paused, eyes raking over the nine assembled genin. "Good. Now the first fight is between Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji. The rest of you go up to the waiting area until you're called."

Sasuke and Sakura silently turned and walked across the arena, steps in perfect sync with the kunoichi a pace ahead and to the left of the Uchiha, their choice of formation announcing silently to all assembled that they were a team and everyone else was the enemy, no exceptions. Naruto subtly shifted on his toes into a more balanced stance and let his fingers drift towards the seals in his sleeve cuffs that held his wakizashi and tanto.

"Looks like you have something to say," Neji remarked with a smirk.

Naruto returned a small smile full of teeth. "You're going down Neji," he said coolly. "No doubt in my mind who's the better shinobi here."

The Hyuuga genius activated his byakugan but said nothing.

"Now, let the fight begin!" Genma said loudly before stepping swiftly out of range.

"It will be fun watching you fall apart once you discover reality," Neji said loftily.

"I thought this was a fight, not a tea party," Naruto retorted teasingly. "Or are you all talk and no action, Neji-chan?"

That got a thunderous snarl but no actual attack. The jinchuuriki didn't shift, fingers lightly brushing the seals in his sleeves while his feet stayed planted in a ready stance. He pondered the option of out-waiting his opponent, but decided against it: he was after all here to entertain the audience and showcase his skills. Instead he focussed his chakra, brought his hands together and silently created two clones. The three of him settled into one of team seven's favourite attack formation, with the one at the front with his hands free while the one on the left produced the steel fans Naruto had used in the preliminaries against Kiba.

"Your chakra may be evenly distributed amongst the three of you," Neji told the lead bunshin, likely assuming it was the original since it had not drawn a weapon, "but you still have only one real body."

"Are you trying to intimidate me or reassure yourself, Neji-chan?" the Naruto with the tessen asked, eyes gleaming.

"If you intend to attack, then do so," the Hyuuga snapped.

"Manners-"

"Neji-"

"-chan!" The three Narutos said as they attacked. The front Naruto called up a fire-whip as the left-hand one opened the steel fans and right-hand one released a barrage of shuriken. The Hyuuga genius ducked under the shuriken, leapt out of range of the fire whip and tried to hit the nearest Naruto, but instead his fist collided with an open fan. Taking advantage, that Naruto shoved forwards and slashed open the retreating arm with the other tessen. Neji retreated further, dodging the fire whip twice more and leaving bloody spatter on the arena floor.

"Ready to take me seriously yet?" the third Naruto drawled, a kunai twirling idly around one finger. "Or do I have to bleed it out of you one cut at a time?"

Neji narrowed his eyes. "Such arrogance. You will never be hokage. Talent is determined at birth; such is fate."

"So the fact that I should have graduated a year ahead of you and deliberately fudged the exams twice means that, by your reckoning, I must be way better than you are?" the Naruto with the fire whip asked mildly, jutsu lashing out and forcing the Hyuuga to dodge left, then up into the air.

"Wha-"

"Yep, I faked out at everything after my third week in the Academy," the Naruto with the fans agreed as the one with the whip bent the thin, incandescent chakra construct it was controlling and tried to ensnare the Hyuuga in it. "Isn't that the true ninja way? To deceive? You're good at Taijutsu, Neji-chan, but we're supposed to be ninja not martial artists."

As the two Narutos proceeded to harass and chase Neji the third one drifted away and started setting up a seal perimeter.

* * *

"You expect me to believe you deliberately graduated two years late as the dead-last?" Neji snapped as the fire whip grazed the back of his coat.

"I thought your eyes could see everything, Neji-chan?" the Naruto with the fans pointed out as he ducked under a blow and whacked the Hyuuga across the face. "Why are you asking, am I too opaque for your all-seeing eyes to decipher?" He grinned. "Do I need to dumb myself down for you, Neji-chan?"

The Hyuuga genius finally stopped retreating and attacked, ducking around the fire whip and trying to land a solid hit on that Naruto. The blond however had been evading a jounin in combat for the past six months and did not make it easy for his opponent, who also had to duck and deflect the steel fans the other Naruto was using. The third Naruto quietly sank underground as Neji's chakra spiked and both clones abruptly dispelled, leaving the original with memories of an unusual whirlwind-like defence. The blond wondered if he could recreate it with wind chakra; a defence that shredded opponents rather than just knocking them away would be very handy.

He silently created another clone, this one nothing more than a heavily reinforced puppet he controlled directly rather than an independent entity, to distract the Hyuuga as he travelled underground towards his opponent's chakra signature.

"You are within my field of divination," he heard Neji say through the puppet-clone as the Hyuuga fell into a familiar stance. "Juukenhou: Hakke Rokujuuyon Shou."

Recognising what was coming Naruto paused underneath his clone and sent upwards a burst of chakra to reinforce it before darting forward. That was a main house technique; it seemed Neji had been spying on somebody else's lessons, pretty impressive really. He had learnt that, while the byakugan could look through walls and other solid surfaces, Hyuugas had to look down and concentrate to actually see though the ground: 359 degree vision granted an almost perfect circle of perception, not a perfect sphere. He could no more see straight up than straight down, which Naruto intended to take advantage of.

"Two hands! Four hands! Eight hands! Sixteen hands! Thirty-two-"

The clone finally gave way and Naruto shot out of the ground, both blades drawn, far too close to Neji's exposed back for the white-eyed teen to react in time.

* * *

Uzuken, Swirling Blade, was designed on similar lines as the Hyuuga Gentle Fist in order to take out multiple opponents without taking a hit. However Uzuken was far deadlier as it used sharp steel rather than chakra-enhanced fingers to land blows and had a considerably wider range. Two swift cuts later Neji staggered sideways, bleeding heavily from his right arm and limping from a wound behind a knee as above his right hip his jacket was dyed deep crimson.

"So much for 'all-seeing eyes'; don't you know a bunshin when you see one?" Naruto mocked his opponent, voice flat and cold. "So disappointing that a member of such a distinguished clan should be so abysmally ignorant of village history."

"History?" Neji repeated faintly, shuffling backwards away from the blond.

"_And lo, the clan of Uzumaki was allied to the clan of Senju and Uzumaki Mito was wed to Senju Hashirama to cement the alliance,_" Naruto quoted from the elderly history text he'd found in the library dating from the time of the Nidaime. "_And none stood against them save the Uchiha, for though the Senju were mighty in taijutsu and ninjutsu the Uzumaki were masters of kenjutsu and fuuinjutsu and the most feared of all clans for their knowledge and skill._" He made a single handseal, activating the chakra suppression field. "Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat the mistakes of their predecessors in the future, Neji-chan."

His byakugan no longer active, his chakra inaccessible and his body mangled, the Hyuuga collapsed to his hands and knees. "But, but..." he rasped.

Naruto shrugged. "I was taught that a ninja's greatest skill, the one most important to cultivate, was to cheat fate, defy others' expectations and turn the odds in your own favour. To do that requires that I both know myself and deceive others of my capabilities, Neji-chan. You on the other hand are so painfully straight-forward it is painful to watch." He paused. "Do I have to kill you or are you going to forfeit?"

"I..."

"Why do you rage so blindly, Neji-chan?" Naruto coaxed, sensing weakness and opportunity as he idly flicked the blood off his blades. "What drives you so furiously?"

"The Hyuuga destiny of hatred," Neji gasped, blank eyes watery from pain as he gazed at the blond.

"Oh?" Naruto was using other skills now, learnt in the okiya from his early childhood and constantly honed ever since: how to make your body language soft, open and accepting, your tone gentle and welcoming. How to tease information from people so you could help them, no matter how reticent they were.

Naruto had perfected these skills against the best Konoha's T&I Department could offer: Neji didn't stand a chance.

"The Hyuuga family has a special ninjutsu passed down in the main family," Neji murmured, "a Juinjutsu."

Naruto made a small encouraging noise in his throat, lowering his sword as his earnest, empathetic blue eyes met Neji's blank, pained grey orbs.

"The mark of the curse represents a bird in a cage, the symbol of being tied down to an inescapable destiny," the Hyuuga went on, clumsy fingers reaching up to untie his hitai-ite and reveal a manji-shaped seal branded on his forehead. Naruto crouched just out of the fallen genin's reach as he listened to the sorry tale of pain, woe, accidents of birth and the loss of the father he worshiped. When the branch Hyuuga finally ran out of words the blond lessened the chakra projection of safety and comfort and sighed.

"So you, who proclaim yourself destined to protect the main house with your life from the moment of your birth, did your best to kill the one you are supposed to be defending?" he pointed out dryly. "It seems I'm not te only one fighting my so-called 'destiny'."

Neji gaped in shock as Naruto gently laid the blade of his sword across the fallen Hyuga's throat. "Yield or die, Neji-chan, but know this: had your clan head all those generations ago approached the Uzumaki clan and bargained for a seal to safeguard their bloodline rather than steal a flawed prison seal designed to be placed on hostages, you and yours would never have suffered so greatly for so long. Foundation seals are hardly rare: I know four different ones and I'm barely a quarter of my way to journeyman in Fuuinjutsu." He paused. "In fact, Mito-sama, the Shodai's wife, could easily have resealed the Hyuuga with a more effective and less painful seal, had she been approached for her assistance. Ironic, don't you think, that you complain of your burden to the only person still living capable of lifting it?"

Neji's mouth opened, closed, opened again and then his eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted dead away.

"The winner of the first match is Uzumaki Naruto!" Genma announced. "Oh, and de-activate that seal field or the rest of the fights will be too dull for words."

Naruto obligingly deactivated the field but left the anchor tags where they were; a trap laid is a trap set after all and this one was reusable.

* * *

Notes

Juukenhou: Hakke Rokujuuyon Shou = Gentle fist style: Eight trigrams sixty-four palms.

Fuuinjutsu = Sealing Techniques

Juinjutsu = Cursed Seal Technique

A/N: And that's Naruto's fight over. Next up is Sakura versus Gaara, which I've already written and just needs typing up. Yes, it has been a while, but my muse has been cranky lately. I'm trying to work out how to write the pre-invasion bit right now, which is giving me trouble. I'll get there though.


	70. Sasuke: Observation

**Sasuke: Observation**

Sasuke stared down at the arena as Naruto bowed to tumultuous applause and Neji was carried out on a stretcher by a team of medics. There was no doubt in the Uchiha's mind that his team-mate would be promoted: he had taken down the Hyuuga with barely a scratch on him and coaxed sensitive information out of his opponent as well. The blond had utterly dominated the battle, remaining a consistent two steps ahead of the cocky Hyuuga.

Next up however was Sakura, who would be up against Gaara. The Uchiha turned to face his team-mate and mutely inclined his head. The pinkette smiled faintly in thanks for the encouragement.

"Good luck, Sakura-chan," Naruto said brightly as he entered the balcony where the rest of the contestants were waiting, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a quick hug. "Show everyone you've got what it takes. He then turned to the Sand team: "And you, Gaara-san;" the blond grinned. "Don't hold back. I want everyone to see how good my team-mate really is."

Gaara's answering smirk was as cheerful as it was psychotic.

"Baka!" Sakura muttered, gently bouncing her fist off the back of Naruto's head before marching off down the stairs. Kankuro on the other hand stared at Naruto like the blond had just grown a second head.

"You, you don't _want_ him to hold back? But-"

Naruto raised a polite yet somehow condescending eyebrow. "She is my team-mate. That means that, in an emergency, she needs to have the strength and tactical know-how to take me down." He paused for effect. "If Sakura can't so much as stall Gaara, then she isn't the kunoichi I thought she was."

The puppeteer seemed to suddenly remember that Sabaku no Gaara was not the only jinchuuriki entered in the chunnin exams and shut up, turning to look down at the arena again. A good thing too, as the proctor had just announced the start of the next match. Sasuke leaned on the balcony railing and watched closely as Sakura shot backwards away from her opponent as sand erupted from the gourd on the younger jinchuuriki's back. Sinces Dosu had thus far failed to show it was likely Sasuke's first opponent would be Gaara, meaning he had to watch closely to double-check his planned strategy would work out. If their team ever encountered another Sacrifice in the field it would fall to him and Sakura to hold it back while Naruto set up a suitable suppression seal, so this was important practice. True, Amemai-yogensha seemed to be friendly with at least half the jinchuuriki currently around, but that was no guarantee.

* * *

The pinkette, contrary to all logic and good sense, coughed into her fist then started to sing. Sasuke's eyes briefly slipped into sharingan as he realised she must be using some kind of genjutsu, but he was unable to properly pinpoint her focus: whatever she was trying to do did not seem to involve Gaara's senses in any conventional way. Then the kunoichi produced a decent-sized bottle of sake from her pocket.

Her opponent hadn't moved from his spot and seemed more puzzled than anything else, though the sand that had emerged from Gaara's gourd was swaying in time to her nonsense tune in a slightly sluggish fashion. Was the genjutsu perhaps aimed at the bijuu? _Is that even possible? __To ensnare a bijuu __with no more than chakra and will?_ Sakura produced another sake bottle and made a peculiar cooing noise, pulling out both corks with her teeth and tipping.

Gaara's sand rushed forward, completely abandoning him to catch and absorb the alcohol before it hit the ground. Sakura cooed again, sang a happy little riff and bowed low before vaulting over the coiling sand and bounding straight for her opponent, who now looked slightly alarmed.

"What the _hell-_" Kankuro blurted out as the petite pinkette advanced utterly unmolested by the roiling sand and lashed out at Gaara like his 'ultimate defence' wasn't even there.

"Bribery of an enemy's allies is a perfectly valid tactic," Naruto pointed out lightly, not the slightest wobble in his voice to suggest how entertaining he was finding the match. Sasuke had always thought his emotional control was good; Naruto however repreatedly disabused him of that notion without ever saying a word.

"Bribery?" Temari repeated faintly, eyes wide and face pale as Sakura attacked Gaara with clawed gauntlets, scraping off layers of tightly packed sand from his skin and raising welts. Sasuke was privately entertained that Sakura had managed to distract the Ichibi no Tanuki by plying it with alcohol. True, it was the most expensive sake Naruto and his Hanamachi contacts had been able to get their hands on given a month's notice, so she probably could have bribed a team of ANBU with a single bottle. Keen to see what his team-mate would do next, he kept his eyes on the fight as the pinkette vanished her gauntlets and ran through a few rapid handsigns. Gaara fell over.

"Sakura-chan's out genjutsu specialist," Naruto commented to the Sand team; "even Sensei has trouble with her attacks sometimes."

While Gaara's sand was still frolicking in a distinctly drunken fashion on the other side of the arena the jinchuuriki himself had seemingly given up on it and was trying to hit Sakura directly. Unfortunately however he had clearly fallen victim to one of the kunoichi's balance-disrupting genjutsu and was reduced to clumsy flailing as she nimbly dodged each blow, driving senbon into specific points on his body. One fist got close to her knee but was caught by a ribbon that shot out of her coat sleeve like a snake and caught it before it could connect.

"How?" Gaara rasped, the shape of the arena magnifying the sound so it could be heard all the way up to the roofs of the stands.

"Hand in hand with every strength comes a corresponding weakness," Sakura said evenly as she plucked a seal tag from her pocket, "and there is a reason neither Naruto nor Sasuke will face me in a spar unless Sensei orders it." She slapped the tag on Gaara's forehead and the dancing sand collapsed in a heap. The redheaded jinchuuriki shuddered and went limp.

"Ow... mother?" he groaned.

"As that seal is only going to hold for another minute and I'm almost out of chakra, I forfeit," Sakura said quickly, raising her hand and rapidly backing away from her fallen opponent. "If I was working with my team they would take it from here but I am not dumb enough to think I can kill him by myself before he can recover."

"As Haruno Sakura has forfeited, the winner of the second match is Sabaku no Gaara!" the proctor announced. As he did so the seal on the suna-nin's forehead flaked off and his sand rose and swooped back to him, pulling the senbon out of his body so he could stand again.

"I feel weak," the jinchuuriki hissed. "What did you do?"

The senbon were coated with a chakra inhibitor and the seal was designed to suppress your... tenant," Sakura said quickly, too quietly for the audience to hear through their cheers unless they, like Sasuke, were using chakra to boost their hearing. She hesitated for a moment. "All things considered, it should be out of _your_ system in about half an hour. Sake would help." She reached into her pocket. "I have another bottle-"

Sasuke couldn't help the soft snigger that escaped when Gaara snatched the sake bottle out of the pinkette's hand, removed the cork and swallowed some. The chocking sound to his left told the Uchiha he wasn't the only one having trouble processing what he was seeing. Gaara's shocked sneeze as the alcohol hit his palate was even funnier. Naruto made a gentle wheezing sound that indicated he was sitting on gut-busting hysteria.

"Wha? Wha?" Kankuro gibbered as below them Gaara paused, tilted his head owlishly on one side and took a second, much longer swallow before ambling slightly unsteadily out of the arena.

"Tanuki youkai are grumpy, violent and homicidal little psychos," Naruto said slightly breathlessly, "unless they've had a drink or two. They can't actually get drunk, but a buzzed tanuki is mellow, helpful and more than a little mischievous. Keep your little brother in good sake and his tenant will never be a problem ever again."

Sasuke relished the stunned looks on the two older suna genin's faces. This was what happened when Naruto solved your problems for you: his solutions always worked, but part of you really wished they hadn't as your perception of reality was left in shambles and nothing ever looked quite right again afterwards.

* * *

"She said you bought the sake," Gaara said flatly as he emerged on the balcony again.

"I did," Naruto admitted. The redhead smiled, face softening.

"You are my best friend," the aqua-eyed boy announced, tottering over to lean against the blond. "Mother says so."

"I am honoured, Gaara-san," Naruto said equitably and with more aplomb than Sasuke could ever have managed in such a situation, though the blond's eyes were still shiny with mirth. "You are however ever so slightly drunk, so do sit down until it passes." He gently forced the younger jinchuuriki to the floor; the container of the Ichibi promptly latched onto Naruto's leg with one hand and brought the bottle back up with the other, tipping the incredibly expensive alcohol down his throat.

"Sleepy," the redhead slurred, nuzzling Naruto's knee. The blond ruffled the younger boy's hair:

"It'll pass in a bit, don't you worry."

"As Dosu has failed to arrive in time for the third match, the winner by forfeit of the third match is Uchiha Sasuke!" the proctor announced. "The fourth match will be Aburame Shino versus Kankuro!"

"Shoot," the puppeteer muttered, then shouted, "I forfeit!"

Temari snorted, drew her battle fan, opened it and rode it down into the arena, landing on the ground as lightly as a feather.

"Someone's eager," the proctor drawled. "Shikamaru! Get down here!"

Sasuke glanced at the Nara, then at Naruto. The blond nodded and they both turned over to Sakura, who was leaning on the railing between Shikamaru and Shino. The Uchiha knew that if the Nara forfeited the next fight would be between himself and Gaara, since Naruto had a bye for the second round. However fighting the redheaded Sacrifice while he was both drunk and could not reliably access his chakra would be totally one-sided and would not give the Uchiha the opportunity to showcase his abilities before the judges.

Sakura met their eyes and smailed. "Go for it then Shikamaru!" she shouted cheerfully, ribbons shooting from her sleeves to hoist the pineapple-haired boy over the railing.

Aaaaah!" The Nara screamed as he fell through the air. Sasuke winced at the crash when his fellow genin hit the ground. "Sakura?" the Nara's voice rose faintly from below. "Why-"

The pinkette just grinned happily as the rest of the audience started shouting at the two contestants in the arena to hurry up and fight. It was an expression Sakura had picked up from Naruto: the cheerful toothy smile of a prank gone right.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted as below them Temari charged Shikamaru. This should be interesting.

* * *

A/N: So, Sakura vs. Gaara, as seen by Sasuke. I am exceedingly pleased with how this turned out.


	71. Kakashi: Spectator

**Kakashi: Spectator**

Kakashi had thoroughly enjoyed the first two matches and was inordinately proud of both his students who had so far participated; Naruto and Sakura had both shown they had the skills and tactical ability a chunnin needed. On top of that his blond student had shown a flair for field interrogation and suborning enemy forces which would make it difficult for the judges to deny his suitability for promotion. His fuuinjutsu would also get him considerable support, considering how few of Konoha's seal makers could create original matrices and techniques suited for immediate use in the field. In fact, Naruto's sealing skills might get him promoted all the way up to tokubetsu jounin if he proved able to meet Konoha's official criteria for that particular area.

Sakura had likewise shown she could think tactically and had demonstrated that guile and trickery could defeat an enemy no amount of brute force could scratch. Her success had also highlighted a massive weakness common to most jinchuuriki: when cut off from their bijuu, even temporarily, they were far weaker than normal ninja of the same rank due to their reliance on their tenants. Naruto was not part of that majority however and had not even once accessed his bijuu during his fight, proving himself a competent chuunin on his own merit.

The Copy-nin was more concerned about what Naruto had revealed about the Hyuuga Juin Jutsu: he had personally believed until now that it was a creation of some past Hyuuga with a solid understanding of sealing and to hear that it had in fact been created to keep hostages and prisoners of war in line by an Uzumaki came as a shock. It did however make an uncomfortable amount of sense: after all, what better way to ensure your hostages don't escape than to threaten them with pain and death with a single handsign?

* * *

Kakashi sighed as, in the arena, the Suna kunoichi chased Shikamaru hither and thither with heavy-duty wind attacks. His wife had been rather twitchy this morning, muttering about snakes poised to strike, traps, lazy idealists and desperate fools. She had flatly insisted everyone leaving the mansion be armed well enough to seriously inconvenience an ANBU squad but Kakashi had not complained: this was likely connected to Orochimaru's 'inescapable fate' and the metaphorical pit the rogue sannin had dug and was going to fall into. Whatever did happen today, the Yuurei were posted around the village to offer assistance and both Itachi and Han were somewhere in the arena. Neither of the latter two were people to trifle with and their presence granted a significant boost to Konoha's forces.

It was also fairly clear that the Sandaime knew something was up, considering the number of ANBU stationed in the arena, and was expacting trouble. Certainly Ame-koi had been consulting with Nara Shikaku and the ANBU Commander quite a lot in the past week in between training Naruto and spending time with their numerous children, biological or otherwise.

Children. Kakashi was still adapting to fatherhood. You couldn't arrive late if your nine-week-old daughter got fussy in the middle of the night, as you would find yourself dealing with three screaming babies, a headache and grumpy older children coming to find out what all the noise was for. Being a parent was a lot like being in ANBU again but without any specialised training. Thankfully his wife, Minato and Itachi all knew what to do and were happy to offer guidance if not actually help; Ame-koi refused to do more than the required feedings during the night since she supervised the triplets throughout the day, his former sensei insisted he needed to experience these things for himself and Itachi just gave him a look and pointed out that he only had himself to blame for getting his wife pregnant in the first place.

The eldest living Uchiha hah eventually relented enough to explain that for the first six months of his exile from Konoha he'd been Koumori's primary carer and up at all hours keeping her fed and happy. Which was precisely why he refused to take over for the Hatake, considering the older jounin was the triplets' biological parent.

* * *

Kakashi chuckled softly as Shikamaru finally caught his opponent in his Kagemane no Justu then promptly gave up. The lazy Nara heir had shown all the necessary qualities a chunnin should have including knowing when to quit, just as Sakura had done before him. Next up would be the second round and since Naruto had a bye the fist fight would be between Sasuke and Gaara, followed by Shino versus the Suna kunoichi who had just 'won'. Gaara seemed to have recovered from his poisoning and drunken binge and was now standing close to Naruto, face blank and empty. Sasuke stood on Naruto's other side, visage similarly expressionless. When Genma called the two genin down Sasuke vaulted lightly over the balcony railing and Gaara turned and vanished down the hallway towards the stairs. A few seconds later Naruto abruptly chased after the redhead, not reappearing until the Suna jinchuuriki arrived in the arena. When he did re-emerge on the balcony he had Shikamaru with him, the Nara looking decidedly green. The faint smears of blood left behind by their sandals were disturbing: It suggested Gaara had killed someone in the brief interval between departing the balcony and entering the arena.

"Kakashi." The silver-haired jounin looked up.

"Hi there Gai. And Lee-kun as well! I trust your body is recovering well?" Kakashi addressed the spandex-clad genin who had fought Gaara in the preliminaries.

"Hai, Kakashi-san! Amemai-sama believes I will be fully recovered in another month or so!" Lee said brightly.

"Good, good. I take it Shinji-san examined you on her behalf?" Gai had been heartbroken to learn that the doctors did not think Lee could ever be a ninja again, but Ame had thought recovery was possible and had introduced the older spandex aficionado to one of the Kurai-nin who was both a medic and Ame's own younger brother. Shinji happened to be a bone specialist and had been perfectly willing to at least have a look at Lee. It had turned out the genin's problem had been fixable after all, which was a relief. Much as Kakashi found Gai difficult to deal with, losing a favoured student like that was something the Copy-nin wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

Then in the arena Genma announced the start of the match and everyone turned to watch.

* * *

Gaara released his sand and Sasuke tested the defence with shuriken. _Electrified shuriken_, the jounin corrected himself as the flash and sizzle of current demolished half the sand clone the redhead had created to defend himself. Six months ago the Uchiha might have rushed in but the boy had leaned caution since then, instead drawing his ninja-to and letting electric energy dance down the blade before charging the clone. _Good move; demonstrating elemental manipulation will get you points with the judges._

Four seconds later the clone was gone, Gaara was laid out on his back with a rapidly purpling bruise to the jaw and Sasuke was crouched where his opponent had been standing, short sword held in a reverse grip.

"I could have killed you then," the Uchiha said calmly, "but that would not have made victory any more achievable for me, would it?" A smirk flickered across the raven-haired boy's face. "I have to take you down without killing you in order to make it to the finals."

Kakashi knew Sasuke was alluding to the bijuu sealed in his opponent and silently agreed that killing Gaara would be a very bad idea, since it would release the Ichibi.

Sasuke dodged two more assaults from the mobile sand and kicked his opponent across the arena towards the depression where Neji had used kaiten before being trapped by Naruto. _Is that Sasuke's plan? To use the seals laid out to hinder Gaara's access to his chakra?_ The Uchiha darted forward again, eyes red with sharingan this time, to land two more ration-enhanced blows to Gaara's torso with the hilt of his blade.

The sand recoiled then swirled closely around the redhead to form a sphere. Sasuke however did not pause to allow his opponent time to recover and slashed the blade of his ninja-to through the packed sand, briefly electrifying the formation before bouncing back a step and stabbing deep.

There was a shriek and the sphere fell apart, revealing Gaara standing there with a bloody scratch across his face and his left arm hanging limp from a deep, seeping wound in his shoulder. Sasuke abruptly skipped backwards, his deadpan "Oops," ringing across the arena.

Kakashi leapt to his feet instantly: when a jinchuuriki was involved 'oops' covered a lot of ground, most of it bad. Then the feathers started falling and the hokage's box exploded.

* * *

Notes

fuuinjustu = sealing techniques

Juin justu = cursed seal technique

raiton = electric release; type of elemental technique

A/N: Sasuke planned to trap Gaara in Naruto's triggered suppression field, but his plan did not survive first contact with the enemy. Alas. However Kabuto got impatient and decided it was time to start the invasion. Also, Lee's situation is somawhat changed due to Ame's presence. Next up: let the invasion commence!


	72. Naruto: Hunt

**Naruto: Hunt**

As the genjutsu swept the arena in cloying, feathery exhaustion Naruto shook off the sensation with a quick chakra spike, clearing and sharpening his senses. Beside him Sakura followed suit, eyes darting around in search of the source of the attack and seeking out others who had not succumbed. Though the explosion in the hokage's box was drawing the attention of most of the ninja who had not been caught unawares Naruto was more interested in the Suna team, who were now standing next to Gaara in the arena with their sensei.

"Sakura," he said as the pinkette kicked Shikamaru in the shin, making him grunt and swear, the blond's own eyes never leaving Genma and Sasuke, "let's go back up our team-mate."

Seconds later they were standing in the arena in a triangular formation with Sasuke behind the tokubetsu jounin proctor. The Uchiha still had his sword out and was crouched in readiness to attack on Naruto's left while to the blond's right and a pace behind Sakura chewed on a soldier pill, senbon poised between curled fingers. Naruto himself was running through a sealing technique in his head and gauging how long he needed to set it up.

Opposite them Gaara dropped to his knees, clutched at his head and moaned.

"Fool! Trying to transform before the signal!" the Suna jounin –Naruto thought his name was Baki– said with a grimace. Temari stepped closer to crouch next to her youngest brother:

"It's impossible to proceed now: he's experiencing side-effects."

"Shiranui-san," Naruto murmured, having successfully prepped the fuuinjutsu, "Orders?"

"Let's see what they decide to try first, hm?" the tokubetsu jounin replied equally softly around the senbon gripped between his teeth, never taking his eyes off Baki even as Kankurou let his nerves get the better of him and shouted as his sensei.

"Abort the mission," Baki said after a pause. "You two take Gaara and retreat."

"Now?" Sasuke asked quietly, ninja-to still held in a reverse grip with electricity crakling along the blade. Genma did not reply verbally but abruptly dropped to one knee and ducked just as the Suna genin ran and Naruto lunged forward at full speed, seal ready on his fingertips. The blond did not bother to so much as glance around him; Sasuke and Sakura would be there.

Baki was taken completely by surprise be the sudden switch in prospective opponents and Naruto's unexpected burst of sheer speed was too much for the jounin to evade from a standing start: even as the Suna-nin threw himself backwards and away the blond fuuinjutsu user's glowing fingertips brushed the bridge of his opponent's nose.

Baki choked and collapsed, body convulsing as inky lines crawled across his face and neck before contracting to settle on his forehead just below his hitai-ite, covering the two chakra gates located in the brain.

"Basic prison seal: he's lost all voluntary motor functions and chakra access," Naruto said shortly as Genma wandered closer to the incapacitated jounin.

"Nice one," the tokubetsu jounin complemented him. "I wondered what you were working on back there."

"Now what, Shiranui-san?" Sakura asked, glancing around at the chaos breeding above them.

"You're all chunnin level already so go make yourselves useful and catch Gaara and his siblings," Genma said absently, pushing past them to crouch beside the captured Suna jounin. "I need to get our new friend here to T&I, since he seems to know what's going on. Catching the kazekage's children will give us more leverage once the battle's over."

"Sir!" Naruto ducked his head and shot off after the Sand team, his team-mates flanking him.

* * *

"Plan, taicho?" Sasuke asked.

"Gaara's at odds with his bijuu right now but that won't last," Naruto said quickly as they vaulted over the arena wall. "If we can take out the other two before he recovers we can beat him down as a team. If not I'll have to do it solo while you two keep the older two busy." He glanced around at their surroundings, expanding his sensory range, then switched to hand-talk: 'Invaders circling; Summons at walls; can beat Tanuki alone but collateral damage probable. Too risky: team is stronger.'

'Agreed,' Sasuke signed, 'but if necessary?'

'I distract with illusions,' Sakura signed as they reached the trees, Naruto following the unique feel of Gaara's chakra, 'then Fan incapacitate. Spiral focus on Red.'

'If they attack,' Sasuke amended.

'Agreed then' Naruto conceded. It was a good enough plan. He broadened his senses further, letting himself really feel the village again, which alerted him to something else:

"Sakura, you've been bugged," he said out loud, "and we've picked up a tail: Shino and Shika are a few minutes behind."

Sakura made an impatient little noise as Sasuke turned to scrutinise her closely. "On your hitai-ite," the raven said shortly before turning back to watch where he was going. They couldn't do anything about the kikaichuu directly –it was against unofficial Konoha policy to irritate the Aburame clan– but that didn't mean they had to be nice about it.

"I'm _so_ going to find a genjutsu that works on Aburames," Sakura muttered as they hurried onward. Naruto was more curious as to why they were being followed, but recognised that question would have to wait until the two caught up. Shino's motive was fairly transparent: he likely wanted to have his fight with Kankurou to get back at the older boy for sabotaging his chance at promotion. Shikamaru however was not as easily predicted.

* * *

Unfortunately however a squad of chunnin Naruto didn't recognise were following as well, suggesting the two clan heirs had been seen by the invaders and singled out. Naruto formed a kage bunshin on the fly, silently ordering it to double back and take on the enemy. That achieved, he used hand-talk to order his team to split, signalling to them that their target was moving along a slightly curved trajectory. _Sakura can cut across in a straight line to get ahead while I follow the trail._ Naruto put on an extra burst of speed. Sasuke however peeled off and headed straight up: this was a brand-new strategy, created only a day ago when they realised it wasn't too difficult for the Uchiha to summon a crow large enough to carry him. _While ninja are trained to expect attacks from all sides at any moment, those who think to look straight up are even rarer than those who remember to be suspicious of the ground._

Naruto caught up with the Suna team just as they were cut off in front by Sakura.

"Dammit!" Temari hissed, reaching for her fan.

"Temari, take Gaara and keep going!" Kankurou said, sliding his wrapped puppet off his back. Unnoticed by the Suna-nin Naruto signed to Sakura:

'Hive nearby. I follow; you catch up once Puppet distracted.' Sakura ducked her chin in acknowledgement and the blond took off after his fellow jinchuuriki and said Sacrifice's older sister; hopefully they could deal with Gaara without things getting too messy.

Naruto caught up easily and silently paced the pair for a while, staying out of sight as they put a good distance between them and the village and the redhead's inner energies roiled and burned, youki and chakra fighting and mingling as the former became more and more prevalent.

"Get away!" Gaara snapped suddenly as Temari paused for breath on a sturdy branch, pushing himself off his sister's shoulder and staggering to his feet.

"What?" the girl responded startled.

"Just move!" Gaara burst out, shoving his sibling away violently. Naruto caught her before her head could hit the tree he was hiding in and set the older girl on her feet next to him.

"Next time a jinchuuriki gives you fair warning I suggest you pay attention," the Konoha genin said mildly. "We aren't exactly the safest of beings to be standing next to when we go all-out, are we Gaara?"

The aqua-eyed boy clutched at his head again as Sakura landed lightly on Naruto's other side. Naruto in turn waited patiently for Gaara's latest fit to pass. He did not particularly want to fight, but if it came to it he wouldn't hold back all that much.

As Gaara dropped to his knees Naruto swayed for an instant, the memories of the clone he'd sent to take out the chunnin hitting him. _So, Shika stayed behind to stall the invaders while Shino continued. My clone backed him up by taking a sword to them after Pineapple-head caught them in his Kage Mane no Jutsu. It took out four, then got busted by their backup hiding in a tree. Not too bad I suppose. It sensed Asuma-san coming before it poofed, so Shika's probably alright._ He blinked as Gaara moaned, compacted sand covered with a network of bluish veins swallowing his right arm and the side of his face as his tenant's youki spiked yet again.

* * *

Naruto had never seen anything like it before in his life, but that did not mean he didn't know what he was seeing; his education had been more thorough than most peoples'. This was the lead-up to Gaara's completed Beast Form, as opposed to the basic chakra cloak that Naruto himself used to access his own tenant's power. A Complete Form wasn't just chakra but a fully physical, full-sized body, though the three-tails was the weakest bijuu to have a properly solid final form.

The blond Sacrifice knew he wouldn't be able to reach his own full bijuu form for at least another four years –_five is more realistic_– but then again the Ichibi held only a fraction of the power the Kyuubi could command. His seal warmed at that thought, a short burst of extra energy suffusing through his limbs. _So vain you are, aren't you Yoko?_

"Come! Let me –hic– feel it!" the half-changed Gaara growled, his entire right arm morphed into a misshapen tanuki claw.

"Feel what, Gaara-kun?" Naruto inquired patiently. Removing Shukaku's ghost had no doubt stabilised the Ichibi a great deal but it had not done anything to reverse the years of trauma Gaara had doubtless suffered until now, nor had it healed the damage to the Ichibi's own battered consciousness. It had taken Naruto himself years to recover his memories from before he was accepted into the Mitsusha and to face and overcome what he had suffered in that time. He was, in fact, still coming to terms with it. Hibana-nee had helped him tremendously and Ame-kaa-san was still helping him come to terms with stuff but Gaara clearly hadn't had anyone, let alone someone capable of offering that kind of help, and was coming apart at the seams now he wasn't constantly at war with his tenant.

Gaara did not reply, instead roaring as he lunged at Naruto. The blond leapt away, ensuring he landed a decent distance away from Sakura and Temari. Since his fellow Sacrifice was clearly targeting him it would be best to stay well clear.

"Why are you running away?" Gaara howled. "What's the matter, are you afraid of me?"

Naruto smiled, the expression creepily reminiscent of Morino Ibiki. "I do not fear my own tenant, so why should I fear yours which is vastly inferior?" _Though I do respect Yoko greatly. Fear however is pointless and counter-productive: being afraid won't stop something trying to kill me._

"Then come and get me!" Gaara roared.

Noting absently that Shino's fight with Kankurou had ended in what felt like a draw, Naruto drew his wakizashi and tanto and infused both blades with wind chakra. The Ichibi might be wind natured but it also had a strong connection to earth, so –while unlikely to be fatal– maiming its final form would still be very painful.

Indeed, the blond was successful in bisecting the oversized, blue-veined limb and sunk a hole in the gourd on the boy's back, but to predictably little effect: rather than crying out in pain Gaara cackled like a lunatic. "Defeating a person strong enough to hurt me gives me an even greater sense of existence!"

The transformation process was advancing steadily: Gaara now had a pointed ear emerging from one side of his skull and half his mouth was distorted and full of triangular teeth. "More!" the redhead shouted crazily, a massive, veined, sandy tail erupting behind him.

* * *

Naruto was very reluctant to go all-out but recognised that unless he upped his game a bit somebody was going to get hurt. Sighing he sheathed his blades and, as he bounced out of the way of another of Gaara's wild charges, called up enough of Kyuubi's chakra for the initial transformation. The speed and healing boost were an advantage against a strong and fast-moving opponent but Naruto had to keep a close eye on his temper or risk losing his sense of self.

"Sakura, spot for me!" he shouted as Gaara catapulted back towards him. Thinking quickly he shot through a jutsu; the Ichibi was physically more aligned to earth than wind despite most of its attacks being wind natured, so lightning or water would be the most effective attacks to try. "Suiton: Mizurappa!" the blast slowed Gaara considerably, enabling the blond to easily dodge the swipe at his face and counter with a solid punch.

"Is this all you've got?" Gaara growled. "You are weak!"

_Calm. Calm. He knows nothing; let his words be as oil over a stone,_ Naruto chanted inside his head as he wished he knew how to put the Shishou Fuuin on someone without needing to draw the full array out in ink first. He knew from Ame-kaa-san that Gaara's seal was a Sankyaku Fuuin, but he hadn't yet learnt any sufficiently powerful even-numbered seals that could block it. That meant that the only way he could realistically defeat Gaara was to beat him into the ground until the redhead ran out of chakra, which would require time and considerable strength of mind if he was to succeed without going berserk. It was far easier to lose himself once he was channelling Yoko's chakra –not that it was even chakra really– but Sakura and Sasuke could probably snap him out of it provided he didn't push himself up to two-tails, which was currently more than he could take. If that happened he'd have to step back and let Yoko take over, which would be a death sentence for Gaara, Temari and all the other non-Konoha ninja within five minutes reach.

Naruto did not want to kill Gaara, but pragmatically recognised that it might still happen. Hesitation was fatal and he couldn't afford to risk his team-mates' lives.

* * *

Notes

Kage Mane no Jutsu = Shadow Imitation Technique

kikaichuu = parasitic destruction insects; integral to the Aburame clan's secret techniques

Suiton: Mizurappa = Water release: Violent Water Wave

Shishou Fuuin = Four Image Seal

Sankyaku Fuuin = Three-legged Seal (my own creation)

A/N: The seal used on Baki is NOT the Caged Bird Seal, but something similar developed more recently. It is specifically a prisoner seal rather than a hostage seal as the victim cannot move once sealed. The fight with Gaara gets started! I hope I've explained why that bit of canon is going ahead despite all the help Gaara's got from Naruto and co.


	73. Interlude: Sarutobi Hiruzen

**Interlude: Sarutobi Hiruzen**

Sarutobi Hiruzen had been hokage of Konohagakure for a very long time before standing down in favour of Namikaze Minato, his student's student. After young Minato's premature death scant years after his ascension to Yondaime, Hiruzen had reluctantly reassumed the post as there really was nobody else. His second term in office had weighed very heavily indeed: he had needed to restore the village after the Kyuubi attack and the death of his wife as well as protect young Naruto, who had spent the first sixteen months of his life in ANBU custody due to the lack of infrastructure, large numbers of orphans and dearth of available trained personnel. Keeping the baby jinchuuriki in ANBU headquarters meant the village's most vulnerable asset could be guarded every hour of the day by the village's finest while they were between missions, which was a more expedient use of his elite forces in a time when Konoha had to but on a strong front.

Then, barely a year after Naruto had finally been placed in an orphanage, the Kumo ambassador visiting to set up a treaty had attempted to abduct the Hyuuga heir and been killed. As the village was not yet recovered enough to face even the possibility of war at that point Hiruzen had allowed Kumo's demand to stand and not intervened as Hyuuga Hizashi died to save his twin. Konoha had over the next few years recovered to its full former strength and all had been well, until word reached him that the Uchiha clan were plotting a coup.

The hokage had been furious with his advisors when he learnt –too late, far too late– that they had gone behind his back and ordered the clan heir to murder his entire family, ruining the boy's future forever. Hiruzen had had high hopes for young Itachi: the teenage prodigy had had the makings of a fine hokage and the elderly Sarutobi had fully intended to step down in the boy's favour within the decade. By the time he became aware of the massacre there was nothing he could do but promise Itachi that Sasuke would be protected and publicly declare the thirteen-year-old a missing nin while the quiet genius went out to spy on an emerging nukenin organisation that Orochimaru had recently joined. Reorganising the police force had been a chore and by the end of it Hiruzen had heartily wished there was someone –anyone– in the village he trusted to become Godaime.

Sadly, there wasn't. There were plenty of strong and capable ninja but none with quite the right balance of qualities needed in a benevolent dictator. Hiruzen was getting so old now he was having difficulties keeping up with his duties and was no longer as fit as he had been; Naruto would never have fallen through the cracks like he did if he himself had been thirty years younger.

* * *

Hiruzen was regretfully aware of having failed Minato. The bright, gentle and fiercely protective Yondaime would have been furious to see how the village's inhabitants abused his beloved son and how little Hiruzen had actually done for the boy. In the orphanage the young blond had been belittled and shunned until the matron actually evicted him. Hiruzen had not even discovered Naruto's plight until six months later! The hokage had of course found the boy an apartment to live in and ensured he had enough money to live off, but had not done anything about the way Naruto was treated by civilians and no few ninja. He had felt at the time that he _could_ do nothing, but he knew in his heart that was not true.

When Naruto had entered the Academy Hiruzen had been relieved to see that the short blond had his mother's fiercely optimistic nature in spite of his past suffering and believed that his teachers would at least treat him fairly, but that hope had been cruelly torn away after meeting Amemai-san, Naruto's 'kaa-san', and discovering that Minato's son had been severely discriminated against even by his teachers, to the point that the bulk of his education had been provided by the geisha of the village's small yet heavily patronised Hanamachi.

After graduating the boy had abruptly ceased being bright and loud and never mentioned again his ambition of becoming hokage. On the place of the hyperactive knucklehead prankster was a mature, conscientious and well-educated boy that was so clearly his father all over again that it made Hiruzen nervous, with flashes of his mother's volcanic temper and the warped sense of humour that made the Uzumaki clan infamous across the Elemental Nations. However, unlike Minato or Kushina, Naruto was politely aloof and emotionally distant, rarely showing genuine emotion except in the presence of the few he trusted, elite the aging hokage was no longer numbered upon.

Hiruzen bitterly regretted his mistakes but it seemed unlikely Naruto would give him a chance to explain himself anytime soon, unexpectedly showing his mother's ability to hold onto grudges. The hokage had tried once, but seeing Naruto standing stiffly to attention, eyes staring blankly forward and being called 'hokage-sama' by the spiky-haired blond who only weeks before had addressed him as 'jiji' had killed Hiruzen's voice in his throat and rendered him unable to continue.

Now, as he had seen his bodyguard struck down and been trapped within a barrier by the man he had thought was the kazekage but was in truth his own wayward student Orochimaru, Hiruzen wondered briefly if he would ever get the chance to beg his surrogate grandson for forgiveness.

* * *

"I thought this day would come eventually," the elderly hokage sighed as Orochimaru ripped from his face the mask he had made of the kazekage's skin. "But you will not kill me that easily."

"I did say you should have picked a successor," the snake sannin smirked, "because you will die here, _Sandaime_."

Hiruzen tried to keep Orochimaru talking and to appeal to his student's better nature, but it seemed the younger man had permanently buried that part of himself. The snake sannin declared that life was dull when things came to a standstill, so he intended to set events spinning by destroying the village of Konoha.

Recognising that at this point violence was inevitable Hiruzen discarded his kage hat and cloak, revealing underneath his battle armour and prepared himself to fight his once-favoured pupil.

"So, you have your funeral shroud prepared," Orochimaru sneered. The Sandaime glanced again at the barrier imprisoning them, but unfortunately the four ninja holding the purple walls in place had set up a secondary, internal barrier. His ANBU were all outside, unable to interfere.

As the elderly Sarutobi let his chakra levels climb he noticed that Orochimaru's chakra flow was slightly erratic, sometimes spiking and sometimes responding a little sluggishly. It was something he might be able to take advantage of.

The two opponents attacked simultaneously, Hiruzen launching a Shuriken Kage Bunshin barrage at Orochimaru as the younger shinobi used Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei.

"One, two, three!" Orochimaru called out mockingly from behind the trio of coffins he had summoned. The third coffin however simply toppled over forwards and lay there. The two labelled 'First' and 'Two' however creaked open to reveal the animated bodies of Senju Hashirama and Senju Tobirama, the late Shodaime and Nidaime.

"It's been a long time, eh, Monkey?" the Nidaime said gruffly. Under any other circumstances Hiruzen would have been overjoyed to see his old jounin-sensei again; that Orochimaru was using two of Konohagakure's honoured founders in his vile plot to destroy the village angered the Sandaime greatly.

"Oh, so it is you," the Shodaime agreed amiably. "You've grown, haven't you Sarutobi?"

_Grown old you mean._ Death hadn't changed Hashirama's sense of humour one bit: it was still terrible. Hiruzen knew perfectly well he was not so much as an inch taller than he had been when the Shodaime had died, which had been when the now elderly Sandaime was a barely teenage chunnin.

It is regrettable, Hiruzen admitted; "I would never have thought I would meet you two brothers again in a situation like this." He sighed. "Please prepare yourselves to be defeated."

"Edo Tensei, huh," Tobirama-sensei mused, turning to glance over his shoulder at Orochimaru as the snake sannin moved the upright coffins out of his way. "Summoned us with kinjutsu, huh. He is quite something."

"If that is the case, Sarutobi," Hashirama pointed out, "I guess that would mean we have to fight against you, hmm?" The undead Shodaime sounded less than pleased with the situation, not that Hiruzen could blame him.

"How about you leave off the old folks' chatter and get started?" Orochimaru interrupted, seal tags hanging from the kunai he held in each hand.

"No matter how much the world changes, there is always fighting," Hashirama said with a faint frown.

"You like the idea, don't you!" Orochimaru laughed, proving he was not as observant as he claimed to be.

"Making tools of the dead," the Sandaime spat. "Nothing good comes of playing with time." He was a little curious as to why the third summoning had failed: the fallen coffin likely contained the former Yondaime's body. Perhaps it was because, despite being dead, Namikaze Minato's soul had not returned to the pure world and was instead wandering the Elemental Nations as a spectre. After all, summoning only worked if whatever you were summoning hadn't already been summoned by someone else...

"Well then, shall we begin?" Orochimaru said with a cruel smirk, driving the kunai and attached seals into the heads of the former hokages. "But before that I really must have both of you returned to your true forms." With a crackle and a hiss the dirt and decay fell away from the Senju brothers, restoring both to the appearance they had had in their prime. "Complete!" the snake sannin chuckled, though the Sandaime detected a hint of strain in the younger man's voice. "Do you know the joy and sense of accomplishment you gain when you have a chance to hurt the one you once called master? I thought I'd have you share that pleasure, so I prepared this situation."

Hiruzen scowled. Orochimaru was truly lost.

"Please: enjoy yourself!" his pale student smirked, chakra not as steady as it might have been.

The Sandaime charged as Orochimaru activated the seals within the summoned bodies to animate the two Senju and force them to bend to his will. The living hokage launched a Katon: Karyuu Endan at the trio as the bodies' eyes opened, blank white disks set in black sclera.

Tobirama-sensei created a Suiton: Suijinheki around the three of them, protecting himself, his brother and Orochimaru from the fiery blast, then followed up with a Suiton: Suiryuudan. Hiruzen countered the water dragon with a Doton: Doryuuheki, creating a massive earth wall that the water splashed off harmlessly. Then Hashirama joined the fight, calling up one of his unique wood release techniques:

"Mokuton: Jukai Koutan!"

To evade the grasping roots and shoots sprouting from the tiled roof beneath his feet and the earth wall he had just created Hiruzen was forced to leap up on top of the wall. Even then the branches around him lashed out, drawing blood and coiling around his body to hinder and strangle.

"Ku ku ku! You're in a bit of a bind, aren't you sensei?" Orochimaru mocked from behind his undead puppets.

Thinking quickly, Hiruzen summoned the monkey king Enma, his personal summon. Enma was not impressed to be called upon to fight someone the Sandaime had simply allowed to escape almost fifteen years previously, but still agreeably transformed into the Adamantine Bou staff so the elderly Sarutobi could destroy the branches binding him and free himself.

Seeing his sensei armed Orochimaru drew his own sword from a snake that emerged from his mouth: the legendary Kusanagi. Hiruzen noted that his old student's chakra was growing steadily more erratic with every jutsu he used; whatever the cause, the instability would soon become damaging to the snake summoner's chakra coils. With this in mind he charged Orochimaru directly, but failed to score a hit before the two Senju kicked him away. The Sandaime did however manage to plant explosive tags on Hashirama and Tobirama-sensei's legs.

Unfortunately, despite each losing a leg to halfway up the thigh, the damage simply repaired itself. Hiruzen was not as young or as spry as he used to be and wielding Enma's Kongounyoi form was awkward and a great deal of effort. However Hiruzen felt it his duty to somehow release the souls of his former sensei and said sensei's brother, though he still wasn't quite decided on how.

"Your breath seems to be coming rather fast, you know?" Orochimaru commented. "Well, what will you be doing next?"

Hiruzen decided. He would have to use the Yondaime's final technique to end the Edo Tensei and defeat his former pupil. Unfortunate, but it could not be helped.

"You've grown old, haven't you?" Orochimaru taunted. "I've never seen you strain so much." He laughed, high and unsettling. "It's so pitiful, you know, that even you who were hailed as the 'Shinobi no Kami' cannot defeat old age." With that the snake sannin ripped the skin away from his face to reveal another visage, that of an unfamiliar and much younger woman with Orochimaru's own slit-pupilled eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" Hiruzen couldn't help asking.

"Is it that much of a shock? It's still me, your student Orochimaru!" The woman announced.

Hiruzen stilled. This meant his former favourite pupil had successfully completed his immortality kinjutsu. A great weight descended upon the hokage's heart; if only he had killed Orochimaru before he could flee the village then this abomination would never have occurred.

As the snake sannin was gloating about how he would endure forever, moving from one young body to the next, the Sandaime realised Orochimaru's reasons for placing his Juin Jutsu on Uchiha Sasuke. Of course, due to Naruto's interference Sasuke was now well out of Orochimaru's reach, but Hiruzen had no intention of letting that information slip. If he failed to stop his wayward pupil today, that seal would be a perfect trap for the rogue nin, one he would never think to suspect.

Then Hashirama re-activated his Mokuton jutsu and the elderly hokage had to concentrate on defending himself. As he did so he noticed the outer barrier rippling and flickering erratically; was someone trying to break through? If so, he had to end this fight quickly or Orochimaru would set the undead Senju on the village.

Panting heavily, Hiruzen made two shadow clones and then ran through the handseals for the Shiki Fuujin. He would die, but he would take Orochimaru and the two former hokages with him!

* * *

However, rather than the grotesquely masked Shinigami a very different individual materialised behind him. Hiruzen blinked.

"Ame-san?"

_I am acting in my capacity as Shinigami no Miko so only you are aware of my presence here, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure,_ said the unearthly being, words echoing inside his mind, black and white miko garb fluttering gently around her with wild, snow white hair roiling and floating around her head like tentacles. _Shiki Fuujin is a summoning technique, though the contract now has two different beings listed upon it. Your chakra was insufficient to call __upon my master and so here I stand in his place. The bargain I offer is also different: I grant balance. Little remains of your own lifespan to bargain with, so what is it you would have me take away in exchange for it?_

Hiruzen recognised that bargaining with the Shinigami no Miko was an entirely different prospect to dealing with the wife of Hatake Kakashi. There would be no beating down and coming to terms here, so he would have to determine exactly how much he could achieve with what he had to sacrifice.

_Ca__n you remove the two Senju?_ He thought as clearly as possible while Orochimaru started gloating again.

_I am duty-bound to do so without cost if so requested; they do not belong in this world as they are. What do you desire removed in exchange for the remains of your life?_

_Can you kill Orochimaru?_ He asked, hoping fervently for a positive reply.

_More remains of his life than yours._ The Sandaime recognised that as a 'no' just as Hashirama cast the Kokuangyo no Jutsu, forcing Hiruzen into utter blackness.

"Take all you can from him then," the Sandaime said desperately. Nothing had gone to plan so he would take all he could possible get in such desperate circumstances.

The Shinigami no Miko inclined her head gracefully and split into two, a technique Hiruzen had not seen since the Second Shinobi War. Both ghostly priestesses drifted forwards, seemingly unaffected by the genjutsu and brushing past him towards his clones. As one clone staggered, pierced by many kunai, the apparition to his right leaned over the bunshin and the genjutsu fell apart.

Hiruzen blinked as he saw the twin mikos each standing before one of the Senju brothers, a hand gently pressed over their hearts.

"Sorry, Sarutobi," Hashirama murmured as the miko to Hiruzen's right pulled him closer.

"Shodaime-sama, Nidaime-sama, please forgive me," the Sandaime whispered.

"We've caused you so much trouble–" was all Tobirama-sensei managed to say before the miko in front of him planted her mouth over his and breathed in. As each miko pulled away from her target, the tail-end of each luminous soul sliding down their throats, the two former hokages collapsed into dust. The two priestesses merged back into one as the dust settled to reveal the faces of two Oto genin Hiruzen recognised from the preliminary matches at the end of the second phase of the chunnin exams.

"What is _that_!" Orochimaru gasped as the Shinigami no miko drifted across the roof towards him. Taking advantage of his opponent's distraction Hiruzen charged, knocking away the Kusanagi with Enma's staff form. The snake sannin used Sen-eijashu to prevent Enma from hitting him but was then immobilised as Hiruzen grabbed him. Orochimaru struggled frantically as the priestess of Death drifted closer.

"Die!" the word was a duet, both shinobi shouting as Orochimaru flicked his fingers in the instant the miko paused behind the Sandaime and reached out to touch the snake sannin's arms.

There was a high, agonising scream, a deafening explosion from off to one side and piercing pain through Hiruzen's chest. The hokage glanced down to see the Kusanagi blade protruding through his upper ribs, then up: Orochimaru's arms had exploded, ragged shreds of muscle tissue loose and limp over shattered bones while strips of skin dangled here and there. In his head Hiruzen heard a soft feminine sigh of disappointment and turned his head to see what had caught her eye.

Orochimaru had tried to stab the priestess when he summoned his sword, but her currently insubstantial nature meant the blade had gone through Hiruzen instead. The Shinigami no Miko reached out again and tapped Orochimaru between the eyes just as a group of ANBU entered the hokage's line of sight; the explosion had been someone breaking through the barrier. He smiled as Orochimaru's subordinates carried him off, the sannin's arms utterly useless, and let darkness take him. Perhaps he wasn't about to die just yet, but it would be coming soon enough.

* * *

Notes

Hanamachi = flower district; part of town where the Tea houses and geisha are

jiji = grandpa; informal 'old man' or 'gramps'

Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei = summoning: impure world ressurection; forbidden summoning technique to ressurect a dead person. Requires a living human sacrifice to work.

Katon: Karyuu Endan = fire release: fire dragon flame bullet; B-rank offensive fire technique

Suiton: Suijinheki = water release: water encampment wall; B-rank defensive water technique

Suiton: Suiryuudan = water release: water dragon bullet; B-rank offensive water technique

Doton: Doryuuheki = earth release:earth-style wall; B-rank defensive earth technique

Mokuton: Jukai Koutan = wood release: nativity of a world of trees; kekkai genkai technique

Kongounyoi = properly called 'Henge: Kongounyoi', Monkey King Enma takes on this form to act as a weapon; translates as 'Adamantine Staff'

Shinobi no Kami = god of shinobi; one of Sarutobi's Bingo book names

Shiki Fuujin = dead demon consuming seal; is actually a specialised summoning technique to call upon the Shinigami or his chosen priestess. A kinjutsu

Shinigami no Miko = priestess of the death god

Kokuangyo no Jutsu = bringer-of-darkness technique; A-rank supplementary illusion technique

Sen'eijashu = hidden shadow snake hands; C-rank offensive technique available to those who have signed the snake summoning contract

A/N: Sakura's parting shot takes effect, a few minor changes and we get to see what being a miko of the Shinigami really means. Plus, my first blow-by-blow battle! I've got the whole invasion written already, but typing it up is a chore so it's taking me a while. We will get to see how and by whom the barrier technique was taken down by in an upcoming chapter, as well as how the fight with Gaara went.

This chapter is about seeing things from the Sandaime's point of view; I hope I've got it right...


	74. Sakura: Witness

**Sakura: Witness**

Sakura had been absolutely petrified by the semi-monstrous form emerging around Gaara and was dizzyingly relieved when the homicidal redhead ignored her entirely in favour of attacking Naruto. The blond was a tank on the battlefield: there was no way Gaara could possible prevail against her team-mate. In fact, the only reason the other jinchuuriki was still alive and unbroken was Naruto's reluctance to hurt a fellow sufferer.

Crouched in the fork of a tree near Temari, the pinkette kept her eyes on the fight. Naruto had asked her to spot for him, which meant keeping an eye on his form, mannerism and Yoko's ki. He hadn't even formed the first tail yet, but if he did she'd have to monitor the situation closely in case the second tail tried to emerge. If it did she'd have to take Temari and flee towards Kankurou; that way even if Gaara died Naruto would only be responsible for the death of one of the kazekage's children. They had since graduating been made to go over past battles and wars with an eye for strategy and tactics and all knew that valuable hostages were essential for favourable negotiations. Winning helped too, but was not always necessary. Besides, victory was, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder.

If she did have to run for her life then Sasuke would come down out of the sky to cover her retreat and calm Naruto down if possible, since the modified seal on the Uchiha heir meant that even drunk on youki-fuelled rage the blond jinchuuriki recognised the raven as Kin. Demons did not attack their kin without severe provocation.

* * *

"You," Gaara growled at Naruto, "they aren't afraid of you. They don't whisper at a distance or run away or try to kill you. Why!"

"They are my friends, Gaara-kun," Naruto replied, voice steady in spite of the luminous orange aura cloaking him, "just as I would like to be your friend. I take no pleasure in your pain. There is no need for you to fight me."

"Why?" Gaara moaned, his still-human hand rising to clutch at his head. "What do they mean to you?"

Sakura knew instinctively that Naruto's answer would be both uplifting and horribly embarrassing. The blond made no secret of the fact that there was nothing he wouldn't do for his friends.

"They are my friends and I would suffer any pain for them. There is no mission I would not take, no fortress I would not infiltrate, no person I would not seduce, no enemy I would not murder to spare them the horrors I know are out there and the depravity which lurks in the hearts of evil doers," the blond jinchuuriki said flatly. "Life without friends is not worth living. It's like being dead, except less pleasant."

Sakura blushed bright scarlet. _So, so, so embarrassing. So cute, too..._

"So," Gaara said with a lopsided snarl, "if I want you to take me seriously and fight me with your full power I have to threaten your friends." His mismatched eyes roved around the clearing and focussed on Sakura through the leaves camouflaging her presence. "I can do that."

Naruto however did not give the redhead the time to follow through on his threat, lunging forwards in a blur of orange to knock Gaara flying.

"Finally," the redhead growled, recovering quickly. "Sand Shuriken!"

Naruto dodged, a long orange tail of viscous chakra curling around him to knock the projectiles away. Gaara's upper half was completely transformed now, his face entirely hidden within the sandy, purple-veined features of the Ichibi. Despite the sheer unnaturalness of the younger boy's appearance Sakura was still more nervous of Naruto, whose chakra cloak had sprouted long, pointed ears which twitched and undulated like hungry flames. Beside the Konoha kunoichi Temari made a small, choked sound as a deep growl rumbled across the clearing: Naruto was _not_ pleased. Not actually angry yet, but definitely not happy at all.

"Fight me," the Uzumaki rasped harshly, "not them."

"Come on then! I will crush you!" Gaara yelled crazily. "I'll kill your friends if you don't fight!"

Naruto leapt, hands flashing through handseals as the half-transformed jinchuuriki facing him took a deep breath.

"Mugensajin Daitoppa!" Gaara roared.

"Katon: Endan!" Naruto countered, pouring orange energy into the technique. Sakura grabbed Temari and threw them both off the branch: wind versus bijuu-enhanced fire would be very messy. The white-hot explosion overhead that slammed her into the bushes confirmed that retreat had been a very good idea indeed. A sequence of crackling flashes only drove the point home further: Naruto had likely attached his shock tags to kunai to attack Gaara's body with. Sakura had noticed that, despite its attacks being wind natured, the Ichibi's body was largely earth natured, so the heavy-duty electric tags had to hurt it.

As the smoke cleared Sakura noticed Naruto was poised behind Gaara. Seeing the red-edged tag in his hand she dived under a nearby bush and performed a D-ranked earth jutsu to soften the ground around her: that was one of the 'Uzumaki Specials', an explosive tag that could drive a fist-sized hole through reinforced concrete.

The world went white even through tightly closed eyes and as the shock-wave passed Sasuke tumbled out of the sky almost on top of her.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hakobugarasu was too close to the blast," the Uchiha said shortly, wincing as he examined his bruises. "We need to gain height again."

Sakura was most comfortable at ground level and her summons only heightened that preference, but Sasuke's new summons drove him to gain altitude whenever possible. Silently agreeing that, in this case, flight was probably safer than tunnelling, the pinkette followed her brunet team-mate upwards. Temari would have to manage on her own for now.

On reaching the canopy Sakura noted that Gaara had now been completely swallowed by his bijuu's form, though it appeared to be weak and misshapen now. Naruto was perched a dozen yards away from his opponent, tail flicking steadily from side to side as slit-pupilled eyes stared unblinkingly at the Ichibi jinchuuriki.

"He's gonna lose," Sasuke muttered as the two of them quietly moved further upwards, away from the battlefield. "He's just fighting for himself but Naruto's fighting for us."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed as another explosion rocked the trees, forcing them to channel more chakra in order to hang on for dear life. It was followed by a second, even larger explosion which blasted the trees they were gripping to and threw them high into the air.

Sasuke flashed through the handseals for the summoning technique as the crimson seal on his shoulder came alive, spewing deep red and feathery-looking markings across his face, neck and arms:

"Kuchiyose: Yatagarasu!"

Sakura landed with an inelegant splat on a soft, smooth surface. Steadying herself she looked around, gripping lightly with chakra to prevent further embarrassment, then stared: She was perched between the shoulderblades of a crow slightly larger than the hokage's tower.

"Sasuke?" she whispered incredulously.

"Sakura-chan, this is Yatagarasu, the largest of the crow clan," Sasuke said from his perch on the top of his summons' head, twisting around to face her as he spoke. The dark red markings had not receded, rippling across his exposed skin in a vaguely hypnotic manner. "He is the most powerful true crow I can summon, though not without effort." A negligent gesture suggested he was talking about the seal currently painted across his skin. "There are more powerful beings I can summon through my contract, but they are karasu-tengu rather than true crows and follow different rules besides tending to be physically smaller."

"It is an honour to meet you, Yatagarasu-sama," the pinkette managed to say. "Sasuke, what just happened?"

"Gaara finally achieved full form," the Uchiha said flatly. "We're staying high until Naruto beats him or needs us to intervene."

There was yet another explosion down below, this one of chakra smoke, which swiftly cleared to reveal a massive, six-tailed, stormy-grey fox towering over the trees.

"Somehow I don't think he'll need much help," Sakura said dryly.

As the dust settled a deep, grumbling voice echoed over the treetops:

"What is _that_, an'nai?" the fox said disdainfully, eying the sand tanuki. Sakura was too far away to discern what Naruto's reply was, but the fox's next words made it easy to divine what had been said:

"Ichibi no Tanuki, ne?" Well, I shall take payment out of his hide then: such a feast is rarely available after all."

Peeking over the edge of the wing of the crow carrying her and her Uchiha team-mate through the air, Sakura watched the fox pounce on the tanuki, teeth digging into the Ichibi's shoulder and ripping off its left arm. It did not discard the dismembered limb, instead tossing back its head and swallowing it down in three bites.

"Mmm, tastes like chicken," the fox snarked. "What's that you wanted, an'nai?" A pause in which Naruto likely repeated whatever it was he'd just said. "Call me Arashigizashi, an'nai."

_Storm omen_, Sakura decided,_ is a fairly suggestive name for a fox capable of manipulating chakra._

"Look," Sasuke said, pointing downwards. Squinting at the now one-armed Ichibi, Sakura could just make out Gaara emerging from its forehead.

"Now I'll show you the true power of the Demon of Sand," the redhead said loudly and clearly, voice echoing up to where the younger half of team seven was circling. "Thank-you for keeping me entertained for so long."

"This isn't about amusing you, Gaara," Naruto's voice rang out, "this is about proving that having friends _matters_."

"Spell of fake sleep!" Was all Gaara said before slumping over forwards.

"I'm out! At last! Hahahahaha!" the tanuki cackled, voice entirely different to how it had been only minutes previously.

"That is the real Ichibi," the gigantic crow cawed thoughtfully. "We need a bit more height in order to stay out of range of _him_."

"Renkuudan!" a massive blast of wind tore through the trees towards Arashigizashi, who nimbly bounded high into the air over the attack and lunged forwards, lightning crackling around his muzzle.

"Inazuma!" the fox roared as burning white arcs of pure energy stabbed the bijuu, piercing deep into its body as the summons collided head-on with the Ichibi. Sakura noticed from her vantage point that Naruto, no longer glowing quite so violently, had collided head-on with Gaara's slumped form. She winced: the 'Uzumaki wake-up glomp' was an experience she wouldn't wish on anyone.

_Except possibly Shikamaru._

"Shit!" the Ichibi moaned. "I only just got out and I already have to go again!"

Gaara straightened up just in time to take a solid kick to the face from Naruto via a steel-reinforced geta trailing orange chakra like a comet. Sasuke made a small pained sound in sympathy. Sakura agreed: that must have _hurt_. _Really, really hurt_, she amended silently as the gigantic tanuki collapsed into sand.

"See ya, an'nai," the grey fox said casually, batting Naruto higher into the air, "Thanks for standing me lunch!" He dispelled.

"Yatagarasu!" Sasuke said quickly, "can you catch him?"

The crow swooped low, diving steeply in a heart-stopping rush before back-winging and perching lightly on top of a tree in time for Naruto to bounce onto its back and roll to a stop.

"Where's Gaara?" were the blond's first words to his team-mates on landing, eyes still orange and slitted despite the chakra cloak having dispelled.

"There!" Sakura said, pointing. The redhead was perched on a treetop a few yards away. Naruto ran lightly up the crow's back and launched himself off the bird's head, hitting Gaara in the stomach and following up with an acrobatic heel to the back of the head when the redhead jack-knifed forwards. The younger jinchuuriki lost his balance and tumbled downwards, Naruto dropping after him.

"I thank you, Yatagarasu, for your gracious assistance," Sasuke said firmly, the reddish, feathery markings finally receding. "We'll take it from here."

"You are most welcome, young one," the giant crow said amiably, letting them get off before he dispelled.

* * *

Sakura took the lead as they hurried down the trees into a small clearing where Naruto was kneeling in the grass and breathing harshly through his nose. The pinkette knew he only did that when he was trying to calm down so she hurried closer, stroking his face and running her fingers through his loosely spiked hair.

"S'okay, Naruto," she murmured in his ear as her fingers traced the thick, sensitive whiskermarks on his cheeks. "You won. We're safe now. Easy." The blond took in a deep, shaky breath and sagged a little.

"My existence will not be extinguished!" Gaara raved from across the clearing, lying limply in the dirt. "I refuse to just disappear!"

With a deep groan Naruto gently extricated himself from Sakura's nervous grip and shakily crawled towards the fallen redhead.

"D- Don't come any closer!" Gaara screeched, eyes wide and wild.

"Shh," Naruto gasped. "I know. Being alone hurts, hurts so much you would do anything to get away from the pain. That's why I offered to be your friend: to acknowledge you, so you wouldn't be alone ever again. But that doesn't mean I'll let you hurt the other people dear to my heart. If you try to harm them again I _will_ stop you."

"Why? Why go so far for other people's sake?" Gaara whispered as Naruto reached his side.

"They love me," the blond said simply.

"Love..." Gaara rasped softly as Naruto gently patted the younger boy's hair. "So you love me, being my friend?"

"I will learn to," the older jinchuuriki promised with a faint smile.

Sakura turned sharply, moving swiftly forward as the other two Suna genin dropped from the trees near Gaara, both looking a little worse for wear. She and Sasuke placed themselves flanking Naruto, weapons at the ready.

"Taicho?" Sasuke inquired, eyes fixed on Gaara's siblings.

"Enough," Gaara rasped quietly, closing his eyes. "It's over."

"Konoha has your sensei in custody," Naruto said, levering himself to his feet. "Will you be joining him without a fight or will you try to run?"

"Try?" Kankuro repeated belligerently.

"Sakura and Sasuke are still fresh. You two are not," Naruto went on calmly, raising blue but still vertically slit eyes to stare at the Suna duo. "Gaara has been through enough that I do not want to have to beat up his siblings in front of him, but I will if I must."

Sakura did not smile at the emotional blackmail, much as she would have liked to.

"Temari, Kankuro, I'm sorry," Gaara whispered, closing his eyes. "Please?"

Temari hesitated. "An exchange," she decided firmly. "We'll come quietly and stay until the treaty is re-established or other arrangements are made, so long as Baki-sensei is released and can return to Suna immediately."

"Since I was the one to seal him I can actually negotiate that," Naruto said, huffing softly in amusement. "C'mere and let me seal you both. I won't put anything on Gaara: call it a good faith gesture."

Once sealed –with a less confining technique than Naruto had used on the Suna jounin– the two siblings picked up their younger brother and the six genin set off back towards Konoha.

* * *

Notes

Mugensajin Daitoppa = infinite sand cloud great breakthrough; special bijuu ability

Hakobugarasu = 'lucky crow' or 'transport crow', depending on your interpretation of the kanji

Yatagarasu = eight-span crow; considered a messanger of the divine

Renkuudan = drilling air bullet; offensive wind technique

Inazuma = lightning bolt; term suggests a connection to Inari, patron of foxes

A/N: Naruto defeats Gaara again and we get to see a little of how Sasuke's seal has been changed. All from Sakura's point of view, since she's the one who pays most attention. Most of Gaara's dialogue is taken from the Online Manga Reader website, as was most of the dialogue in the last chapter. I love that website!


	75. Han and Itachi: Tactics

**Han and Itachi: Tactics**

Han disliked human beings on principle and felt he was fully justified in doing so. His uncle had started it all off by ordering that the Gobi no Irukaume be sealed within him when he was still a child and ever since then he had been isolated, shunned and abandoned. He had never had a choice in the matter of combat training: he was a jinchuuriki so he had to use the bijuu's power for the benefit of the village, never mind that the village had never shown him one ounce of gratitude for his sacrifice. Han had hated it; he loathed fighting, loathed ninja and utterly detested being lonely. His bijuu hated it even more: the Gobi was a naturally social creature and the isolation its jinchuuriki was afflicted with did nothing for its already precarious sanity.

Meeting the five-year-old Yogensha had, looking back on it, saved his sanity and quite possibly his life as well, though he had certainly not appreciated it at the time. Through her he had met the Tatsuteiou brothers and numerous others over the years, none of whom cared in the slightest that Han was a jinchuuriki. Not that their friendliness had in any way improved Han's tolerance for either ninja or humanity in general: those who associated with him were to a man far less human than they appeared, their chakra resonating with a diluted echo of the Gobi's youki. They were only partly human and their awareness and acceptance of that inhumanity was what he liked about them. The ignorant or ordinary humans who had no idea of what it meant to be even slightly other shunned those whose differences were apparent.

Ame-yogensha-chan was less human than most, which was why Han had expressed no objections to acting as her foster father's representative to Hatake Kakashi; the documentation and opportunity to escape Tsuchi no Kuni without being declared a nukenin was just a bonus. Konohagakure had not done anything to dissuade him that ninja and humanity in general were beneath contempt, but he had been forced to concede that rare individuals were capable of rising above the self-serving greed, mindless fear and cloying ignorance of their peers.

Han had no intention of remaining within the village of Konoha for very much longer: Yogensha-chan may have been his favourite person but the Gobi wanted to get as far from Iwa as possible, which meant travelling to Sea Country at the very least. His tenant's talent for steam- and mist-based techniques meant he would be better able to hide in coastal areas despite having never so much as seen a body of water larger than a lake before.

That however would have to wait, as it seemed that once again the gigantic jinchuuriki found himself caught up in somebody else's problem. Han dispelled the genjutsu with a brief youki spike and slipped out of his seat to blend into the shadows as the Kages' box exploded. ANBU instantly converged on the explosion as the ninja in the audience rose and looked around for the enemy, who immediately made themselves known.

"Orders?" inquired a Yuurei, leaning over the edge of the roof to meet Itachi's eye.

The elder Uchiha had been watching the final exam from next to Han, face hidden behind a mask with Yogensha-chan's mark on the forehead and a scythe-shaped silhouette in red across the lower half of the face.

"Those in the arena are to kill any non-Konoha ninja attacking civilians," Itachi said as on the roof above the Kages' box a purple seal formation came into being. "Everyone else is to kill the invaders within the village boundaries."

"I am going to take a closer look at that seal formation," Han rumbled. He may have made a habit of treating most of humanity with the disdain it deserved but he had a grudging respect for the Shinobi no Kami. Partly because Oonoki had loathed Sarutobi Hiruzen with a hatred borne of fear, but mostly mostly because the Sandaime Hokage was letting Han stay in Konoha without either insinuating that he wanted the jinchuuriki of the Gobi to join his forces nor indicating he wanted the immense shinobi to leave as soon as possible.

Han landed lightly on the tiles behind the white-cloaked ANBU captain just as the body of the unfortunate nin who had collided with the barrier finished burning to ash. He wasn't too worried about being recognised by the majority; while he was –In Yogensha-chan's words– ridiculously tall, he was not wearing his distinctive armour but a grey cloak over white kimono and hakama with matching gloves, facemask and hood.

The jinchuuriki of the Gobi watched silently as the man in the kazekage's robes revealed himself to be Orochimaru of the Densetsu no Sannin and fights broke out in the stands beneath them.

"So the barrier can only be broken from the inside?" one of the nearby ANBU asked the captain.

"If hokage-sama would just take out one of the four nin holding the corners we could join in," the captain confirmed.

The four Oto ninja holding the corners of the Shishienjin looked rather inhuman, well two of them did anyway: one had two heads and another two more pairs of arms than was generally the case.

"Damn," the captain said quietly as the four corner-holders set up a secondary barrier between themselves and the two combatants.

"I might be able to break in," Han rumbled as the hokage and Orochimaru charged each-other, hands flipping through handseals too quickly to follow.

The ANBU captain turned to look at him, not bothering to ask how he intended to achieve such a feat. Instead the masked ninja asked, "Might?"

Han shrugged. "I have never tried before," he said flatly, "and am interested in finding out what happens when I try."

The ANBU captain glanced back into the purple barrier, where the snake Sannin had just summoned two ninja out of coffins, then back at Han: "Fair enough. We'll give you space to work." He signalled the other ANBU then walked away from where Han was standing and settled himself at slightly over the standard distance for a Konoha-issue exploding tag. Han frowned, but let his irritation pass. _ He thinks I might blow something up; he clear__ly has never seen a jinchuuriki in full control of their abilities at work._ Han walked along the barrier until he was facing the Oto ninja with two heads and mentally poked his tenant. He knew he could break through the barrier before him, but what he really wanted to know was a little different: exactly how much of a beating the barrier could take for one, and for another how much force was needed to penetrate it. _Inquiring minds want to know._

As the ANBU near him started squarking about how Orochimaru had somehow summoned from the grave Konoha's former Shodaime and Nidaime Han calmly called up enough youki to form the Gobi's first tail and swatted the barrier with it. The purple wall held, but the ninja holding it up broke out in a sweat and suddenly seemed very, very nervous. Han smirked behind his collar and face mask. _Good._

* * *

Itachi left the arena and headed swiftly towards the dust-cloud rising next to where the east gate should have been. Yogensha-sempai's words from earlier that morning now made perfect sense: this must be part of Orochimaru's plans. Hurrying over the rooftops with Sharingan spinning, the former nukenin prepared to defend his village.

The Suna ninja were not expacting to encounter a former ANBU captain as the leapt from rooftop to rooftop and five died before the invaders even realised they were under attack. Not that knowing did them much good; they were chunnin and no match for a shinobi who had spent the last three years working alongside the most powerful and dangerous nukenin the Elemental Nations could offer.

Itachi skirted a building and leapt over a small tower as a massive toad materialised in midair and crushed one of the snakes that had broken down the wall near the East Gate. Toads meant Jiraya, which could be both good and bad. Good since the loyal sannin was an accomplished and experienced ninja; bad because the toad sage was not the sort to be subtle when engage in a pitched battle, tending to leave the landscape greatly changed wherever he had fought. While overawing and demoralising the enemy was a valid tactic, it was not something that would be good for the village's infrastructure.

* * *

Han made it up to three tails by the time Ame-chan materialised next to the Sandaime, at which point he decided it was time to stop testing the barrier's integrity. His abrupt change in tactics caught the two-headed ninja supporting the corner entirely by surprise: one moment the grey-haired shinobi was safe in his corner, the next he had a ten-inch hole burnt right through his chest. The barrier instantly flickered and partially collapsed, the two sides nearest Han's target dissolving into nothingness. The ANBU nearest him instantly charged in to assist their kage, but the Gobi jinchuuriki was startled to see the ninja he'd just killed split into two identical shinobi, one of which had a deep wound in his right shoulder rather than through his chest. As the Shishienjin collapsed completely the wounded double fled with his fellow barrier-makers carrying Orochimaru away. Han was about to give chase when Yogensha-chan abruptly appeared in front of him with that slightly queasy look she got when her power ran away with her.

The Gobi instantly withdrew its youki, allowing the colossal former Iwa-nin to catch the seer as she swayed forward. "Yogensha-chan?" he murmured. The starry-eyed young woman blinked blearily up at him.

"Han? I… think I need to…" her eyelids drooped and she went limp in his arms. Cradling her bridle-style, Han shot off towards the Hatake estate. _The estate will be secure; Yogensha-chan is always over-effective in defending her chosen home._

* * *

Thankfully –after the initial charge– Konoha's ninja managed to repel the invasion. Itachi dodged around Akiminchi Chouza, three stories tall and swatting enemies like flies, and Nara Shikaku, who had caught four Suna-nin and was strangling all of them at once, knocking out someone trying to get away. Hyuuga Hiashi also made a good showing, blasting a knot of over a dozen ninja with a Kaiten at least ten feet across then wading in to mop up those still conscious.

The seal-bound Uchiha flitted between fight, striking down stragglers and snaring in genjutsu those attempting to flee the village. Itachi was well aware that, despite Sarutobi's recent announcement regarding what had really happened the night of the Uchiha massacre, he had not yet regained the trust of his village's ninja. Acquiring a few new subjects for the T&I Department could only help his rather tenuous position.

However as he was sweeping the eastern edge of the village he encountered Team Seven escorting the kazekage's children. Naruto had clearly worn himself out and was leaning heavily on Sakura; it was however evident that the Konoha shinobi were in control of the situation, as both the older Suna genin had Seishi seals on their foreheads, indicating their chakra had been temporarily bound.

"Onii-san," Sasuke said as Itachi dropped gracefully to ground level, "these three have surrendered to us on the understanding that their sensei Baki will be unsealed and released to return to Suna, so as to communicate what has occurred here." The younger Uchiha paused. "Sabaku no Gaara is not sealed, but was defeated in battle by Uzumaki Naruto and is therefore coming quietly."

Itachi nodded gravely, recognising the formality of the moment. _My otouto's f__irst experience of battle and his team__ has emerged victorious._ "I will accompany you to the cellblock so that the agreed exchange can be ratified and witnessed."

* * *

Notes

Shishienjin = Four Violet Flames Battle Encampment; collaboration technique that creates a very strong barrier around the four people holding it. B-rank

Kaiten = technically Hakkeshou Kaiten, Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven; defensive short-range technique (supposedly) unique to those of the Hyuuga main house.

AN: It's been a while but I haven't given up! This winds up the Chunnin exam battle, so the next few chapters will cover the aftermath and the lead-up to the 'Search for Tsunade' arc, which will probably be very AU indeed considering how I've set things up. Enjoy!


	76. Naruto: Repair

**Naruto: Repair **

Naruto stood up and groaned, stretching as his back clicked and muscles protested after being locked in position for so long. Almost a third of the village's active shinobi forces had been killed or seriously injured in the invasion and a sizeable chunk of the village's infrastructure had been damaged beyond repair or outright destroyed. Many civilians had also died, but thanks to the up-to-date evacuation protocols those deaths were far fewer than they could have been; less civilians had died than ninja which, considering how outnumbered the ninja were, was fairly incredible.

Since the village could not afford to show weakness missions could not be turned down, so Konoha's surviving military forces had been placed on emergency footing by the Konoha Council: Genin teams were being sent on D-rank missions around the village without their jounin-sensei, who in turn were dispatched on higher ranking missions. Most of the Academy-s chunnin-sensei had also been temporarily reassigned to the active mission roster and had been replaced by injured or retired nin who were too badly off to return to more active duty.

Similarly, the D-ranks the genin were carrying out around the village were not the usual babysitting or gardening jobs that supposedly built teamwork; instead they were digging bodies out of the rubble, demolishing badly damaged buildings and clearing space so reconstruction could begin. At least, that was what most of the rookies were doing. Everyone with even a smattering of medical training had been pressed into service at the hospital to speed the recovery of the injured and the rookie kunoichi had been included in assisting their more capable peers and more experienced genin with certain specialisations were being pressed into service in all sorts of different areas.

Naruto himself had been cornered by Morino Ibiki and introduced to Konoha's Kekkai-han, who were in charge of maintaining the complex web of seals embedded in both the village's walls and its environs to detect and intercept intruders. Unfortunately for the village the seals hadn't been significantly altered since the time of the Shodaime, which was how Orochimaru and his forces had been able to bypass those systems that were actually active during the exams; Orochimaru had been highly placed in the village hierachy before going rogue. That a large proportion of the perimeter seals hadn't even been active was the reason why Orochimaru's summons had been able to break down the village wall in the first place; from what Naruto could see, if they had all been active the invasion would have failed before it even got started. To make it even more difficult for the village, the vast majority of the matrix was Uzumaki clan fuuinjutsu and therefore largely indecipherable to anyone who didn't have access to said clan's sealing manuals. Naruto had only just started the sixth book in the sixteen-volume series and was having enough difficulties as it was.

The Kekkai-han had allowed Naruto to access their archives and the blond had spent the past four days meticulously going over the overlapping and inter-connected matrices supposedly intrinsic to the village walls as thoroughly as he could, though in all honesty he could only identify about half of what he was seeing. Uzumaki Mito had most definitely been an inspired Fuuinjutsu master and Naruto was only just approaching journeyman level.

However Naruto did not need to understand the intricacies of the seals to reproduce them, which was all he was being asked to do. Rolling up his latest scroll of notes as well as his copy of the fragile archive original, the blond Uzumaki pocketed both alongside the rest of his gear and left the archive in search of Hyuuga Kou. Though not normally a member of the Kekkai-han, the spiky-haired clansman had been assigned to assist after the invasion and wound up supervising Naruto's movements outside the archive whenever the genin was transporting 'privileged documentation', which was most of the time considering what he was working on. Naruto got on fairly well with the shinobi who he remembered being Hinata's bodyguard while she attended the Academy; the branch house member had warmed up rather more to the jinchuuriki since he graduated. Which was likely due to the increased skill and professionalism Naruto had shown since getting his hitai-ite, but life was like that sometimes.

On being found and informed that Naruto was finally prepared enough to be able to carry out an examination of the seals on the damaged sections of wall the Hyuuga led the blond teen out of the building and towards the nearest breach in the village's physical defences. As they hurried over the rooftops –not as easy a matter as it had been even one week previously– Naruto reflected on all that had happened since the end of the invasion.

Baki, the kazekage's children's sensei, had been unsealed and permitted to return to Suna, albeit with a short document demanding total capitulation and an explanation for their treacherous behaviour. The jounin had also been informed that Orochimaru had been masquerading as the kazekage, which had rattled the suna-nin's composure and sped him on his way.

Temari, Kankurou and Gaara were currently living in apartments in Naruto's building at the expense of the village. This was a compromise, as it would have been undiplomatic for them to be detained in any of Konoha's cell blocks –which were rather full at the moment anyway– and in the current climate none of the clans were prepared to host them. Other than Ame-kaa-san, but it had been decided the Hatake estate was 'insufficiently secure', which was ridiculous and clearly a political decision as it was highly secure. Possibly the problem was that it was _too_ secure. However as Naruto was the only person in the village other than Ame-kaa-san Gaara actually respected and the blond jinchuuriki's apartment building was now inhabited entirely by ninja of varying ranks and backgrounds whose homes had been flattened during the invasion, the three foreign genin had been placed there. This ensured the trio had discreet supervision at all times and were being permitted to assist in clearing rubble and rebuilding in the civilian sections of the village. Kankurou's puppetry skills made him very popular, as did Gaara's ability to lift heavy objects with his sand. The redhead was gradually blossoming under the friendly attention of those specially selected to supervise him around the village and starting to show more of his human side.

* * *

On arriving at the breach in the village wall that the snake summons had made Naruto took a few seconds to gawk at the destruction before hopping down to ground level to talk to the guards.

"Big hole, huh," said Namiashi Raidou from over to the blond genin's right. The special jounin had been badly injured during the invasion and was restricted to light duty for another two weeks, which in this case included supervising the village's youngest fuuinjutsu specialist to ensure the short blond didn't do anything stupid.

"Really, really big hole," Naruto agreed, scratching the back of his neck with one hand. "Where do I need to go again?"

The tokubetsu jounin's lips twitched ever so slightly as he turned and walked stiffly towards the left-hand side of the breach. "This way, Uzumaki-kun."

Naruto followed behind, one eye on the rubble and splintered beams that marked where the summons had rampaged. Kuchiyose battle techniques were definitely not suited to usage in enclosed areas.

"Here," Raidou said, stopping underneath a small porch cut into the side of a guard tower. "It's your show from here, Uzumaki-kun. Try not to do anything rash."

"Call me Naruto, Raidou-san," the blond said cheerfully as he moved closer to the seal etched into the back wall of the little alcove. "I'm not so old and boring as to insist on all that formal shtick." He did not pay much attention to the tokubetsu jounin's reply, being more interested in what was in front of him. Cutting a finger on one of his kunai, Naruto smeared his blood over the design on the wall, placed his palms in the designated spaced and channelled chakra.

Then the world lit up.

_Oooh, shiny. A viewing seal: I never would have guessed that so much of Konoha was built of fuuinjutsu. A shame nobody else seemed to know either, or more of it would be active; there're all sorts of useful bits and bobs here. Fixing the wall won't be too difficult, if rather tedious and energy-consuming: the replication seals twined around the reinforcement and absorption matrices in rigid sequences throughout the wall will ensure everything is properly replaced just as before once there's an actual surface for the seals to be written on._

"Naruto!"

The blond resurfaced, blinking as the real world slid back into focus around him. "Wha?"

Raido's lips twitched again, the scar across his left check shifting slightly. "You've been staring into space for a quarter of an hour, Naruto-san."

"Really?" He hadn't thought it had been that long. _Never mind; if the work teams replace the logs at the wall's core I can propagate the seals onto them from both sides, though I'll be useless for a day afterwards._ The blond said as much as he backed out of the alcove to take another look at the gaping hole in the village's defences. "Luckily the seals were designed with repair in mind or I'd have to redraw this entire section of the array, which would take me weeks rather than just days." Naruto paused. "Raido-san? D'you know if they just want me to fix what's broken or activate some of the dormant arrays as well? If half of what's written in here had been up and running than Konoha wouldn't have taken half as much damage; there's actually a specific set of matrices to guard against summons, which would have been pretty handy last week!"

"What sort of arrays are there other than the anti-summon one?" the tokubetsu jounin asked.

"All sorts," Naruto said promptly, waving his brush enthusiastically in between jotting down notes. "Reinforcement arrays, additional barrier matrices, even this nifty set of keying seals that lock onto Konoha-made hitai-ite so only enemy ninja get caught in the trap arrays. I'd been wondering what the passive matrix etched on the back of everyone's hitai-ite was for." He paused thoughtfully, nibbling the end of his brush. "Then again, since it's all Uzumaki fuuinjutsu I'm not surprised it's all dormant: there's been nobody capable of maintaining it living in the village for over a decade so it's all shut itself down."

"Uzumaki fuuinjutsu?" Raidou repeated musingly.

"Uh-huh!" Naruto nodded fiercely. "Mito-dono's work, I'd bet you anything; the Shodaime's wife, y'know? She was absolutely awesome. Had all these neat ideas about living seals, which I guess is what most of these are. Totally cool, by the way. I'm gonna have to work harder on my reading if I ever want to achieve anything on this level myself."

"I'll take your word for it, Naruto-kun," the tokubetsu jounin said equitably. "I will see to it you are sent for once the wall has been replaced, by which point the Council should have decided which arrays they want you to activate. You'll likely be summoned to explain the matter to them in person before then, so be prepared for that," he added, "but in the meantime I suggest you head back to the missions office to see which of the construction crews could use your assistance."

"Hai, hai," Naruto agreed, handing over his sealed notes to his Hyuuga shadow before bounding off towards the hokage's tower. "Good luck with the old geezers!"

* * *

Notes

Kekkai-han = barrier team; translates literally as 'restricted access/force field/barrier squad'.

A/N: Naruto's skills get him dragged into a more specialised part of the post-invasion workforce and he gets a glimpse of what makes fuuinjutsu so amazing. The 'new hokage' arc will be highly AU considering Itachi has defected and back to Konoha and Naruto hasn't signed the Toad contract, meaning he is not actually Jiraya's apprentice at all yet. Namiashi Raidou was the hokage's bodyguard during the third exam and was last seen slumped in front of an artistic blood spatter as Orochimaru removed the Sandaime from the kage's box, hence his injuries. He also knows exactly who Naruto is and who his parents were, hence his rather laid-back attitude and largely unquestioning acceptance of the blond's competence.


	77. Kakashi: Teacher

**Kakashi: Teacher**

Kakashi let himself into the Hatake compound in the early hours of the morning and made a beeline for the kitchen and the contents of the fridge. The mission had gone smoothly enough and with a bit of luck he would be able to spend a day or two with his wife and children before being sent out again. The village was somewhat shorthanded after Orochimaru's attempted invasion but not as severely as it could have been and nowhere near as badly as it had been after the Kyuubi attack. Indeed, the main problem currently occupying the upper echelons of the village was the Sandaime's steadily declining health.

Sarutobi-sama was in the hospital and weakening with every passing day, poisoned by Orochimaru and the Kusanagi. The hokage slept most of each day to conserve his strength and woke only for a few hours at a time to deal with urgent or highly confidential matters of state. So far he had stamped a large number of high-ranking missions, confirmed the promotions to chunnin of Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru and Uzumaki Naruto on the strength of their performance in the chunnin exams and nominated Senju Tsunade as his successor, provided she could be found within the next month. Kalashi wasn't sure who the hokage's second choice for the position of Godaime was, and wasn't sure he wanted to. He was on the list but really didn't want to have to run the village; caring for his family and team was hard enough and politics was, in the words of Nara Shikaku and his son, troublesome.

More controversially, the Sandaime had negotiated with Ame-chan so as to put Uchiha Itachi in the advisory seat that had belonged to Shimura Danzou and signed off the old war-hawk's execution. The one-armed shinobi's death had been private, overseen by Morino Ibiki, Nara Shikaku in his capacity as Jounin Commander and the ANBU squad leaders, as had his body's destruction and the interment of his ashes, in the interests of having him sink quietly into obscurity. Itachi's position adjacent to the council was justified by his intelligence, experience of recent events outside the village, proficiency as a shinobi and education as former clan heir to the Uchiha, but Kakashi suspected the real reason no-one had managed to protest the so-called honour the kinslayer had been awarded was that the position was void of true power.

Itachi could advise policy and offer his opinion, but could not act to undermine the hokage as Danzou had done. As a servant of his clan Itachi was banned from acting against his clans' best interests, acting for personal gain, owning property, marrying and disobeying his clan head. The Hatake considered the seal binding the younger genius to be barbaric –as did most of the rest of the village– but recognised that this was one of those seldom-invoked clan customs that was not banned because everyone felt anyone who got caught had it coming. It also handily prevented the villagers from attacking the former nukenin as his punishment was sufficiently humiliating to satisfy even the most bloodthirsty. The ninja of Konoha more pragmatically recognised that Itachi was too broken after slaying his clan to survive in the village forces without clear and firm boundaries that protected both him and his comrades: crimes against Itachi were counted as crimes against his clan head and Hatake Amemaihana was gaining a bit of a reputation as being terrifying but fair. Kakashi was somewhat impressed by the subtlety his wife had employed in establishing herself in the village hierarchy without outright antagonising anyone. Well, Danzou had been an exception.

Having eaten, Kakashi had a quick shower and crawled into bed next to his wife. Hopefully he'd get a good long sleep before being needed again.

* * *

He was shaken awake far too soon by an apologetic manservant, one of the ones his wife had been given as a wedding present by her uncle the yamikage.

"My apologies, Hatake-sama, but you have a guest," the short, dark man said regretfully, "and he insists the matter is of utmost importance."

The Copy-nin groaned but stumbled out of bed and let himself be steered towards the bathroom where a steaming bath had already been run. "Who is it?"

"Jiraya of the Densetsu no Sannin, Hatake-sama."

Kakashi paused on the threshold of the bathroom. "Tell him I'll be down presently and see to it he is served drinks and something to eat."

"Hai, Hatake-sama."

Kakashi washed quickly, dressed and wandered downstairs into the public part of the house, absently channelling chakra out through his feet so as not to set the nightingale floors squeaking. He'd managed to sleep for seven hours, not bad but nowhere near enough to make up for the four days of three-hour-nights he'd suffered through on his last mission.

"Jiraya-sama?" the jounin said as he slid open the door of the main receiving room.

"Kakashi-kun! Done well for yourself, haven't you?" the large, jovial shinobi said affably. "A fancy house, a beautiful wife and children running around the place, all in under a year. You certainly don't waste time when you've set your mind on something, do you?"

The silver-haired jounin inclined his head, wondering absently where Minato-sensei was. Likely at the local park with the younger Uchiha children. "Why the visit, Jiraya-sama?" he asked. "I only got back this morning."

Ah, er, well," Jiraya looked a little embarrassed. "I've been looking for young Naruto, but he's proving rather elusive."

Kakashi leant against the door jamb. "What do you need my blond student for?"

"Sarutobi-sensei asked me to check up on him while I was here; I would have trained him for the chunnin exam finals but he never showed up," the toad sage admitted. "From what I saw of the third exams though he's nothing like sensei described."

"Naruto's very good at masks," Kakashi agreed; "a product of his childhood no doubt." Jiraya winced. "He is still cheerful and friendly, but only in the presence of those he trusts. A shame really, but there you go."

"A fuuinjutsu prodigy too," the white-haired sage said. "Did you steer him in that direction?"

"Me? No;" the Copy-nin admitted easily. "He's largely self-taught. Got hold of some Uzumaki fuuinjutsu manuals and just blossomed. Amazing really and he's got a real aptitude for it." Kakashi paused. "You still haven't told me why you want to see my student, Jiraya-sama."

"I was thinking of taking him on as an apprentice," Jiraya said after a short silence.

Kakashi smiled a little dryly. "He'll turn you down; politely but still. He's not so starved of attention to take the first offer coming his way and you'd never earn his respect. No offece Jiraya-sama, but you're openly perverted and Naruto despises that in a person. He's very mannerly and respectful of women."

Jiraya sagged. "I feared as much," he muttered.

"You'd be better off asking Sasuke," Kakashi added absently; "True he can't sign the toad contract but he's getting interested in the espionage side of things and doesn't mind working hard at those things that don't come so easy, like Ijutsu. He'll never be a medic but he's learnt a thing or two. He's best at ninjutsu and strategy, followed by taijutsu, but he listens to his team-mates and is determined to learn even those things that don't come naturally, like psychology and negotiation. His fuuinjutsu is abysmal but he is determined to be at least capable of recognising the basics and practices relentlessly. A tad obsessively, to be honest, but at least it's being channelled healthily now."

It was even the truth: Sasuke had proved he was willing to work just as hard as Naruto on those things he found unexpectedly challenging and had recently shown an interest in what was involved in obtaining and managing a network of informants. It was, in fact, the only area of the ninja arts other than taijutsu that the young Uchiha had ever shown an interest in independent of his team-mates. Sasuke's interest in genjutsu was spurred on by Sakura's brilliance in the art and his ninjutsu proficiency was driven by his memory of his parents and Naruto's massive chakra capacity. His interest in Ijutsu was cursory, nothing more than wanting to be able to patch himself back up if necessary, and his painfully slow inroads into the complex world of fuuinjutsu was maintained solely by Naruto's brilliance in that area. Taijutsu however was something Sasuke loved and was good at and the intelligence side of things was something he'd come to recently and seemed fascinated by.

"The young genius?" Jiraya seemed sceptical.

"He works hard," Kakashi reiterated firmly, defending his student. "I've beaten most of the arrogance out of him and having a jinchuuriki for a team-mate has ensured he knows his own limits very well indeed. He might struggle without his team for a while but he is dedicated, observant and had learnt patience. A bit on the quiet side, but that's not all bad." The Copy-nin sighed. "If you don't want to take my word for it then feel free to approach the two of them, but don't expect anything other than polite scorn from Naruto: He knows you're his godfather and takes a dim view of people who shirk their responsibilities."

"I was chasing down Orochimaru!"

Kaksahi shrugged. "He is of the opinion you could have paid someone to look after him." He had nothing else to say to Jiraya and needed to hand in his written report of the mission.

* * *

After handing in his report at the hokage's tower Kakashi set out in search of his student. Since he was awake he may as well catch up with them while he had the chance. Especially since he hadn't seen them since the morning after the exams.

"Kakashi!"

"Jiraya-sama." The jounin paused while the tall, white-haired ninja caught up with him. He wondered what Jiraya had to say that hadn't come up in their previous conversation.

"Naruto needs to be kept safely out of the way-"

"Is this about Akatsuki?" the Copy-nin interrupted.

"How do you-" Jiraya answered his own question: "Itachi."

"He did mention it," Kakashi admitted, "but he wasn't the only one." Konan of Ame had taken the time to have a long, private chat with Kakashi before taking her leave after the wedding; the blue-haired kunoichi had taken a shine to Naruto and seemed rather ambivalent about the methods her kage was using in his pursuit of peace. "I was told the safest place for Naruto to be was within range of my wife; apparently my koi scares people." The cyclopean jounin paused thoughtfully. "Considering Itachi calls her sempai, I'd say here was safest, at least for now."

"Villages aren't the best places to learn dangerous and obscure jutsu, Kakashi," Jiraya said cooly," nor are they good places for jinchuuriki to practice using their power. As a chunnin he will be sent out on missions which will place him in danger. He needs to get to S-class as quickly as possible in order to defend himself against Akastuki."

"He's also a highly capable fuuinjutsu user, so I doubt he'll be sent out of the village all that much," Kakashi countered, "and I'm sure he'll be strong enough in a year or so to justify a short training trip abroad or a few long-term missions out and about. I reached jounin while based in the village during a war, so I'm sure my most diligent student will do just as well. Besides, should it prove necessary I'm sure Ame-chan would be happy to supply a bodyguard from her clan, considering he is being officially fostered with her. She sees him as her son, you know."

"She mentioned it," the toad sage muttered, looking down at his hands. "Kakashi, are you _sure_?"

"My wife may not be a kunoichi but she is a formidable foe," the younger jounin said firmly, "and I'm no pushover either. Naruto's upbringing all but guarantees he will decline to learn from you and makes him likely to reject leaving the village for any stretch of time, but feel free to offer. Sasuke _would_ accept, though he would never offer you more than grudging respect for your skills rather than your person. He's a bit of a purist, is Sasuke."

"Why would Sasuke accept?"

Kakashi sighed. He felt very old for his twenty-seven years. "Sasuke wants, more than anything else in the world, to be recognised as an accomplished ninja in his own right; he wants his clan to be second to his own infamy rather than the other way around. He also wants to be useful, indispensible even, to the people who matter to him. Naruto recognises Sasuke as a person and barely ever mentions his clan, so Sasuke wants to be capable enough that Naruto will turn to him for anything he cannot do himself. Sasuke also feels he owes Naruto, making being useful to Naruto all the more imperative. Sasuke would likely learn all you could teach him and everything else he could possibly acquire along the way –provided he could see the utility in it– in order to repay Naruto and support his dream."

"So he is loyal, then."

"To his team, indubitably. To Konohagakure…" Kakashi trailed off. "None of the people on my team have any particularly outstanding reason to be loyal to Konoha, which is why I am trying to give them more reasons. They are loyal to me, and I am loyal to the village. That should be enough for now."

"You think I would antagonise your blond bratling," Jiraya said, changing the subject.

"I _know_ you would, Jiraya-sama," Kakashi replied blandly, "and like Kushina-dono, Naruto is rather enthusiastic in holding onto grudges. Sasuke is more pragmatic, if not really much more forgiving."

"I'll consider it," Jiraya muttered.

* * *

A/N: Yep, it's been a while but this is a difficult bit for me, as I have to tie up various ends and set up the next arc. As you can see, there will be fairly major differences.


	78. Sasuke: Advancement

**Sasuke: Advancement**

Sasuke was slightly at a loss as what to do with himself as the post-invasion cleanup drew to a close. He was fairly certain both of his team-mates would be promoted based on their performance in the finals, but wasn't sure his demonstrated ease in both kenjutsu and elemental manipulation were enough to convince the judges that he was chunnin material. The Oto invasion really had come at a very inconvenient moment for him.

The Uchiha hadn't mentioned his suspicions to his team: Kakashi was out on a mission somewhere, Sakura was elbow-deep in patients at the hospital and Naruto had been dragged off to do some specialised fuuinjutsu work by a couple of Hyuuga wearing Kekkai-Han uniforms. Lacking the kind of specialised skills that were in demand in situations other than battle, Sasuke had divided his time between helping the other surviving genin clear rubble and dig up bodies and getting to know hid long-lost younger cousins. It came as a tremendous relief to know the weight of reviving the Uchiha clan did not fall solely on his own shoulders. Having an actual family again was similarly good, if rather more trying on a personal level since at least half his cousins insisted on adopting Naruto as their big brother and role model. It could have been worse; they could have picked Kiba or, horror of horrors, Ino.

He had completed his mission for the day and was walking towards the Hatake compound for dinner –Amemai kept an open house and there was always enough food, even if Chouji showed up– when Naruto's raised voice caught his attention. His team-mate had stopped being loud on leaving the Academy and still wasn't being particularly noisy, but his voice had acquired a distinct edge that suggested there _would_ be embarrassment and humiliation in your future if you didn't leave him alone.

"… stand by my earlier statement, Jiraya-san; I cannot in good conscience accept your generous offer when my current sensei are more than capable of ensuring I reach my full potential."

Sasuke turned down the right fork of the crossroads and saw Naruto standing stiffly outside the ramen stand with his fists clenched, facing a very large, white-haired ninja wearing a very eccentric and theatrical outfit in green and red.

"Look here gaki," the older man started, looking vaguely frustrated, but was interrupted by Naruto before he could go further:

"My humble gratitude for your thoughtfulness and the honour you do me, Jiraya-sama," the blond said coolly with a polite and utterly final bow, "but my responsibilities prevent me from accepting your offer." That said, the Uzumaki turned and swiftly walked away, leaving the large, middle-aged man standing forlornly in the middle of the street. Sasuke wondered what the strange individual had wanted from Naruto and why his team-mate had declined. The blond was fanatical about learning and would not normally turn down any teacher, no matter who they were. He even paid attention to the farmers who hired team seven for D-ranks!

* * *

"What do you want?" Sasuke blinked, then realised the odd-looking shinobi had noticed him and was talking to him.

"What did you want with my team-mate?" the Uchiha asked bluntly, his only concession to manners the usage of the more formal variation of the second person singular. He didn't hold many people in high esteem, but Naruto had pointed out that most individuals were more obliging if you didn't let them know that outright. Good manners got results.

"I wanted to take him on as my apprentice," the older man said shortly just as Sasuke realised where he'd seen that face before; the man was Jiraya of the Sannin, former team-mate to Orochimaru and Senju Tsunade.

"Why?" Sasuke asked. The Sannin glanced back at him.

"Think he's not good enough for an apprenticeship, gaki?"

Sasuke snorted. Narruto was a fantastic if unconventional shinobi. "He's good enough. Why him in particular?" Jiraya's infamous previous student had been the Yondaime. Of course, since the Yondaime had also sealed Yoko inside Naruto, the aging shinobi's choice might be related to his status as Konohagakure's jinchuuriki.

"I thought he'd make a good successor based on what Sarutobi-sensei told me about him," the long-haired, solidly built Sannin told him absently, staring thoughtfully at the Uchiha.

"Successor?" Sasuke repeated, despite having a good idea already of what Jiraya meant. Asking stupid questions did not necessarily mean the answers you would get would be useless. It also encouraged people to underestimate you, which was useful.

Jiraya brightened. "I haven't introduced myself, have I?" There was a puff of smoke and the sannin performed what Sasuke recognised as a kabuki pose –Naruto had insisted on dragging the team out to a few performances– on top of an orange toad the size of an ox. "I am Mount Myobokugama's holy master hermit, also known as the Toad Sage, remember it!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the flamboyance that looked very like a more practiced and deliberate version of Naruto's Academy persona. "I know who you are, Densetsu no Sannin no Jiraya," he deadpanned, "I was just wondering what you looked for in an apprentice that made Naruto your principal candidate."

"Why? Interested?" the white-haired nin inquired sharply, fixing the genin with a piercing stare.

Sasuke decided to be completely open and honest, as that was what Naruto would do under these circumstances and Naruto's approach worked more often than seemed strictly logical or reasonable considering he was supposed to be a ninja. "A great many things in my life have changed recently and I am no longer entirely certain what it is I wish to achieve other than fulfilling my potential as a shinobi," he stated bluntly. "So I was curious."

The sannin appeared somewhat mollified. "I was hoping your team-mate would be willing to sign my summoning contract and succeed me as Toad Sage," he elaborated, hopping off the back of the brightly coloured amphibian which promptly dissolved into smoke.

"Oh. Neither of us could do that: we both have contracts already," Sasuke explained. The Uchiha had only known the crows for a short time but he would never, ever abandon them for any other contract. They were his family now, more so even that his baby cousins and his rather estranged big brother. "Never mind," he added politely as he turned to leave. While the man was clearly foolish, superficial and gratingly goofy, he was nonetheless a highly capable shinobi with a great deal of knowledge at his disposal. Had the man been willing to teach him, Sasuke would have put up with the stupid attitude in exchange for the opportunity to learn from the man who had once been Orochimaru's team-mate.

"Wait up there gaki," the green-and-red clad shinobi called after him. Sasuke paused and looked back.

"While I _was_ looking for someone to inherit my summoning contract, I have many other skills at my disposal in addition to it," Jiraya said mildly. "Skills that, thinking about it, I really should pass on to the next generation. Kakashi was my student's student and you are his, so taking you under my wing wouldn't be stepping on anybody's toes. Especially now your sensei had children of his own to raise and teach."

Sasuke had been hailed as a genius from the moment he entered the Academy despite the constant and unfavourable comparisons to Itachi and while he knew he wasn't a prodigy like his elder sibling, he recognised that he picked most things up much faster that all of his peers and most adults. His progress in kenjutsu was a testimony to this and could only partly be attributed to his recent use of sharingan: he'd been learning for a much shorter time than Naruto –especially considering how the blond abused the kage bunshin no jutsu to give himself _more_ time– but was almost his team-mate's equal already. The Uzumaki's continued advantage had more to do with his combat style than his level of innate talent.

Not that Naruto was stupid. The blond was just quicker at learning physical things than anything else except fuuinjutsu.

"You taught the Yondaime," the Uchiha commented quietly; he'd looked up who Kakashi's sensei had been after learning Naruto was a jinchuuriki, wanting to know why the Hatake had been entrusted with such a valuable village asset. "he was your first choice of successor; so why was Naruto your second..?"

"Careful there gaki," Jiraya interrupted softly, face suddenly and jarringly serious. "Get any sharper and you'll cut your own head off."

_Village secret ahoy._ Sasuke instantly dropped that line of inquiry; he could always ask Naruto about it later. Or better yet, ask Amemai-san, who seemed to know everything and was much clearer in separating what precisely was officially secret from what was just ignored or obscured. "I would be honoured to learn from you, Jiraya-san."

The only student of the Sandaime still working for the village patted the Uchiha on the shoulder with a massive hand, demeanour affable once more. "Excellent! Come on then gaki, let's make it official. In the meantime, Kakashi mentioned you were interested in intelligence…"

Sasuke perked up ever so slightly and paid close attention to the Sannin's words. Yogensha-san's suggestion that he find a field Itachi had not pursued to excel in had grown on him over time as he discovered that intelligence and kenjutsu were both fascinating, if not quite as flashy and satisfying as elemental manipulation. Itachi was a genjutsu specialist first and foremost, partly because he had been so young entering the shinobi forces that it was the only field where his physical strength was irrelevant, and though the former ANBU captain was perfectly proficient with a ninja-to it wasn't his first choice of weapon. Sasuke on the other hand was fascinated by the idea that intelligence could enable you to defeat your enemies without ever even seeing them, which he found rather appealing in a black, sadistic corner of his mind. Similarly attractive –if for different reasons– were the possibilities inherent to elemental manipulation: the prospect of creating unique personal techniques was one he was prepared to work hard to achieve. Sasuke did still want to surpass –or at the very least equal– his older brother, but he could afford a little patience and intended to play to his own strengths rather than Itachi's.

* * *

A/N: So things begin to change. Naruto's reasons for declining to become Jiraya's apprentice are not as superficial as they may appear –and will be laid out in the next chapter– and Sasuke gets more screen time. I find myself liking the new and improved Sasuke, which surprises me. I never intended to give him this much screen time...

A/N2: I know I killed off Madara ages ago, but that was _Madara_. Tobi is still out there. There will be no shortage of villans to play with.

Thanks to all my readers for reading and special thanks to all my lovely reviewers! You know who you are!


	79. Naruto: Reflection

**Naruto: Reflection**

Naruto slipped through the gates of the Hatake compound and hurried around the main building towards the wooded area behind it that concealed the practice fields. He was feeling distinctly unsettled and needed to sit down somewhere quiet to work through his yo-yoing emotions.

_Jiraya offered to make me his apprentice and I turned him down. I was so angry I could't look at him a moment longer._

The blond Uzumaki dropped into a sitting position under a large tree and leaned his head back to rest against the bark, eyes closed. _Deep breaths_.

* * *

Naruto's refusal had not really had anything to do with the Toad Sage's deplorable personal habits or methods of earning money; Icha-Icha no longer sent the genin into a killing rage. In the five months since graduating puberty had kicked in with a vengeance and the blond was two inches taller, washing twice a day due to necessity rather than choice and suffering distinctly perverted thoughts. His tou-san had assured him all these things were completely normal, including the deep ache in his bones and the odd squeaky thing his voice did sometimes when he was stressed. More disturbing were the Kyuubi's comments on how his brain was shutting parts of itself down and replacing them. Naruto knew he wasn't stupid, but he wasn't brilliant either and he needed all of his brain in full working order. If a person's brain normally only worked part-time during puberty then the blond had been unreasonably judgemental regarding the various incredibly stupid things he had seen both civilian and shinobi teens getting up to; it also explained why well over a third of all ninja never made it to their twentieth birthday.

With all of this in mind Naruto had cautiously investigated his sensei's Icha-Icha collection –for research purposes only– and discovered that for all their ridiculous lack of realism they appealed greatly to his newly-emerged libido. The part of his mind that contained most of his geisha training on the other hand couldn't see the appeal. Naruto put this discontinuity down as one of the innumerable differences between men and women and left the books alone thereafter. Just because becoming a bit of a pervert was a normal part of growing up didn't mean he had to be blatantly offensive about it.

Naruto's primary reason for turning down the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to study under Jiraya of the Densetsu no Sannin was said ninja's position as the blond's godfather. On discovering that he actually had a godfather the Uzumaki had initially been delighted, but that had soon faded and been replaced by hurt and anger on learning what godfathers were supposed to do. Jiraya had been ignoring him for the past thirteen years and Naruto just could not let that go. If the man apologised then he likely would, given a little time, but the Toad sage had not apologised. He hadn't so much as _admitted_ to being Naruto's godfather yet, let alone apologised for leaving him to rot for his entire life.

Of course the blond understood that, as the only one of the Sandaime's students still working for the village, Jiraya had a great many responsibilities beyond the guardianship of his former apprentice's son. The man was the primary architect of Konohagakure's entire foreign intelligence network, for instance, and the main force behind the ongoing mission to track down and neutralise Orochimaru. That however did not mean Jiraya was excused leaving his godson high and dry; his writing ensured the man was loaded and he could easily have afforded to pay for a nanny and a private tutor for Naruto if he'd ever bothered to do so.

More pragmatically, as guardian of the village's jinchuuriki Jiraya should have made sure Naruto had the appropriate training from an early age in controlling both his own chakra and the energies of his tenant, not that he would ever have been able to do much with the latter considering his tou-san only sealed half the bijuu within him and the least useful half at that. Whichever way you considered the situation Jiraya had neglected his duties terribly where Naruto was concerned and the Sandaime had allowed it to continue when he could have intervened, which all sent Naruto's emotions rocketing all over the place willy-nilly. Adding to the already volatile situation Yoko's personal disdain for the Toad Sage, Naruto had decided that the less time he was in Jiraya's vicinity, the better it was for all concerned.

_Thinking about it won't help,_ the blond chided himself firmly, crossing his legs the other way and resettling himself amongst the roots of the tree he was leaning against. _Think of something else._

_Sakura__'s doing well at the hospital, or at least that's what kaa-san says and she's usually right._ Sakura hadn't said much at all to him recently other than to fret over how many people were still injured, how many more had died and how little she could do to help. _Oh, and persuading me to lie down on the rug in my underwear so she can study my chakra system so she can compare and contrast to the standard diagram in her text book._

* * *

Naruto did not have a normal chakra system. True, it had the same basic shape as that of any born shinobi with a good number of ninja up their family tree and a comparable number of tenketsu –about half-a-dozen more than the standard human minimum of 361– but the coils were much longer and wider and the chakra within was slightly denser than the norm. Not as dense as his mother's chakra had been – Uzumaki Kushina had been able to create solid chakra constructs with little effort– but certainly throwing the curve.

The denser chakra was genetic; the size of his chakra network was not, being the direct result of the interaction with his body of the Hakke no Fuuin Shiki imprisoning the Kyuubi no Yoko within his View Gate. The seal forced the Gate slightly open in order to feed purified and diluted bijuu energy into his chakra network, which had the side effect of drastically increasing his recovery time and pressurising the chakra within his coils.

Naruto had studied the human chakra system as part of his geisha education – it was important for things like acupuncture– and had been forced to expand his knowledge and understanding once Hibana-nee determined that his own body was significantly outside the norm.

The basics of chakra were simple: the chakra network was the repository of immediately available chakra and the eight Gates regulated access to the body's reserves. Opening the Gates provided a massive instant boost but the rush was too much for the body to handle so it was just a short-lived and highly destructive short-cut that cut the person attempting it short of their full future potential. Normally the Gates dribbled chakra into a person's coils so long as the system was slightly depleted and normal chakra pressure eventually halted the flow once a person was back up to full strength. Naruto's View Gate however was stuck slightly open, forcing more chakra to flow into his coils than was normal. Being an Uzumaki, his body had been able to compensate by widening, lengthening and strengthening his coils until he had attained the necessary internal chakra pressure to counter the increased chakra volume leaving the gate.

This higher internal chakra pressure had also affected his tenketsu: they had all leaked almost constantly throughout his early life and in fact still did just a little unless he was consciously restraining them, which he had learnt to do in order to hide his chakra signature. As a result Naruto's control over his own tenketsu was on par with his peers in the Hyuuga clan, though his reserves were so vast that most people hadn't noticed. In order to _demonstrate_ chakra control equal to a Hyuuga, Naruto's control over his tenketsu would have to be an order of magnitude _greater_ due to his higher chakra pressure. The blond Uzumaki had learnt tenketsu control long before chakra control and had only recently realised just how unusual that was.

Of course, there really was no such thing as 'normal' chakra reserves; the scale was much more complex than that and more of a vague general trend than a series of definitive values.

* * *

A child first developed their chakra system in the womb: the fetus had its mother's chakra running through it, which was why kunoichi were removed from active duty when pregnant. At birth the baby's coils began to grow in response to their natal chakra pressure. As normal babies didn't do anything with their chakra other than live off it, their coils developed until the amount leaving their inner Gates was balanced against the amount being consumed through breathing and growing. This was considered the baseline chakra level and most civilians never rose above it. Non-ninja born into shinobi families had higher baseline chakra reserves due to genetics and pre-natal exposure but not by any significant amount. What made the difference was actively using chakra as the repeated draining and replenishing of the body's coils encouraged them to grow longer and more elastic, allowing a larger reserve to be contained within them.

There were occasionally people like Rock Lee –whose coils barely grew at all once initially formed– but for most ninja, the more they exercised their chakra system the greater its capacity became. Of course some people's systems were more elastic and grew faster, enabling a higher rate of improvement while others responded more slowly and had to slog and slave away for even a small increase in chakra reserves. Everyone was different.

Naruto gazed up at the sky peeking between the leaves above him, finally having calmed himself down again. Yes, Jiraya had abandoned him, but that didn't really matter anymore. Hibana-nee had raised him thanks to Ame-kaa-san taking an interest in his wellbeing and he was perfectly happy with how that had turned out. He was still happy now, in fact, and could forgive the Toad Sage for neglecting to see to his upbringing. However he saw no reason whatsoever to give Jiraya another opportunity at caring for him; Naruto was a ninja now and placing his career in the hands of someone who had already failed him would not be a wise decision.

Content with his conclusions Naruto headed back towards the main house. He could feel Kakashi-sensei had returned from his latest mission and the blond wanted to know when the chunnin promotions would be announced. That was, after all, something a good sensei would know and Kakashi was nothing if not an excellent teacher.

* * *

A/N: A little bit of Naruto's view on recent events and a whole lot on chakra and the body as it works in my version of the Narutoverse. Hopefully it even makes sense for people...

A/N2: since Naruto is no longer spending half his time as a girl, his body has managed to purge all that estrogen and get on with puberty. It is also making up for lost time, since he certainly has energy to burn. I trust that makes both his past and present actions clearer.


	80. Naruto: Trigger

**Naruto: Trigger **

Naruto ambled through the streets of Konohagakure, his nose buried in his fūinjutsu notes as he used his sensory abilities to keep himself from bumping into people. He was expecting a summons from the Konoha Council, who were overseeing the day-to-day business involved in the smooth running of the village while the Hokage was incapacitated. Naruto wanted to be able to succinctly and coherently explain the nature of the dormant Uzumaki seal matrix that was integrated in the village's outer wall and was hoping he'd be allowed to study it even if the Elders decided against activating any of the defensive measures.

The newly-promoted blond chūnin would have been working in his apartment or in the odd little tower set aside for members of the Kekkai-han, but Kakashi-sensei had invited him out for dango. Recognising that news of his adventures in sealing had finally reached the solver-haired jounin's ears, Naruto had accepted: it would be nice to have a sit-down chat with his genin-sensei even though he wouldn't be able to share some of his recent discoveries. Kakashi understood about clearance and secrecy, so he wouldn't push for information or take offense if Naruto avoided some of his questions. It would also give Naruto an opportunity to ask the jounin questions about what he'd been up to lately and find out a bit more about where the man had been. No mission details of course, but as much else as Kakashi was prepared to share.

The last week in the village had been pretty quiet really, other than the promotions getting out and a certain degree of outrage among the civilians at Sasuke not getting one. Sasuke hadn't minded though, simply shrugging and saying he hadn't expected to get one given how things had turned out. Naruto's brunet team-mate had then left the village with Jiraya, supposedly in search of Senju Tsunade whom the Hokage had selected as his successor. Naruto had wished him luck; the Slug Princess hadn't set foot in Konoha since before the Kyuubi attack.

Han had left for Sea Country less than a day later, which had been a shame as Naruto had enjoyed spending time with his fellow jinchuuriki, but the blond recognised the necessity of it and had persuaded the older man to write to him. Gaara hadn't left yet though, due to the situation with Suna still being unresolved so the late Kazekage's children were still guests of the village. Not that the three seemed to mind that much: Kankuro was making the most of his extended stay in a village where wood was cheap and plentiful to stock up on puppetry supplies while Temari had somehow managed to befried Sakura. The two kunoichi could often be found arguing passionately about one thing or the other in one of the village's tea shops. Naruto was happy that his pinkette team-mate had an older kunoichi friend to look up to, even though Temari was from Suna and technically lower in rank than Sakura at the moment. Ame-kaa-san wasn't a kunoichi despite her very ninja attitude to life and Naruto was pretty sure that the only other chūnin his female team-mate had met so far were all medics. Not that Naruto had done much better on the socialising front: the only new friends he'd made were all in the Barrier Team.

Naruto drifted to a halt outside the dango shop and looked up from his reading, grinning at the sight of Kakashi-sensei teasing Asuma and Kurenai about their not-relationship. Naruto didn't have a clue how serious said not-relationship was, but he'd been raised and trained to read subtle emotional cues and body language and the two jounin very definitely had _something_ going on.

"Hullo, Kakashi-sensei," the blond said agreeably, drawing the adults' attention to himself as he slid his notes away into a storage seal in his sleeve. "It's very odd for you to have got here before me, you know?"

"Well, you know how it is," the silver-haired jounin drawled, visible eye glinting with cheerful mischief, "some occasions–" he broke off abruptly, all four ninja present turning to look inside the dango shop for the source of that brief –and to Naruto vaguely familiar– chakra spike.

The shop was empty. Completely empty of people other than the server behind the counter off to the far right, but there was a cup sitting on one of the tables, half-full and still steaming slightly. Naruto tried to recall who'd been sitting there when he walked up, but could only remember a kasa hat, a black cloak decorated with red clouds and two quiet voices engaged in what had the feel of a well-worn debate, if their tone was anything to go by. One of the voices had been ever-so-slightly familiar though, meshing with the chakra-scent of white clay, eagerness, teeth and the prickly feeing of an imminent explosion.

Naruto had met a _lot_ of new people in the last month and hadn't quite got them all straight in his mind just yet.

"I thought Leader-sama wanted us to bring back the Gobi, un," said the familiar voice from behind Naruto and across the street.

"Perhaps, but it is not here and the Kyuubi is," said the other voice, this one a bland monotone and chakra that smelled like dry heat, grief, blood and the layered complexity of a wire-trap. Naruto turned to see two shinobi in concealing black coats decorated with red clouds, their features disguised by kasa hats. One was shorter, wider and hunched, smelling of seasoned wood, steel and at least six different poisons while the other revealed a brilliant blue eye between hat brim and raised collar, the other eye hidden by a lock of blond hair.

Something settled in Naruto's mind at the sight of that floppy bang.

"Deidara-kun?" Kakashi-sensei said, not sounding very surprised at all. "What brings you here?"

The blond bomber shrugged, one hand fiddling with a bit of clay. "A mission; what else, un?" His companion paused, briefly distracted by the calm civility of the exchange and Naruto seized the opportunity to shunshin away towards the river, somewhere a fight could break out without damaging infrastructure or civilians. The blond chūnin did not want to be held responsible for an influx of new construction missions when all the rubble from the invasion had _finally_ been cleared up!

Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai kept up with him effortlessly, as did Deidara and his odd companion. Was the other man a puppet, like Kankuro's Karasu, and if so where was the controller? How could a puppet have chakra?

"That was pathetic," the wooden man said gruffly, tilting his hat back and away from his face.

Naruto grinned cheesily, the expression an effective mask of his rather naughty glee. He'd just had a completely _awesome_ idea…

"You guys said you wanted the Kyuubi, right?" he said brightly, all but bouncing on the spot with suppressed energy. "not me as the Sacrifice, but the fox itself?"

"That's right, un," Deidara said, grinning back as to Naruto's right the newly-promoted chūnin sensed rather than saw his sensei stiffen at the abrupt change in approach.

"Then I _really_ should let you deal with him in _person_," Naruto babbled cheerfully, eyes now lit up with wicked mischief as his tenant perked up slightly at the opportunity presented, "it's only polite you know and manners are important!"

Ignoring the startled exclamations from Asuma and Kurenai, the short blond blanked his mind and slid into a meditative trance, allowing the demon fox to act _through_ him as a seal-less Kotai Henge reshaped his body to Yoko's liking.

_This was going to be so much __**fun!**_

* * *

A/N: It's been two years since I've updated this and I do apologize for the wait, but what Kishimoto's being doing with the plot of Naruto has been a bit... disappointing and I've had to give my muse time and space to decide what to do with it all. I've also had other stories on the brain of course, but this was my first fanfic and I'm not going to drop it even though looking back on it I can _tell_ it was my first fanfic. I like this story, I like the points I've got plotted out and I intend to get it finished!


	81. Kakashi: Foxed

**Kakashi: Foxed **

Kakashi made sure he was standing in front of his fellow Konoha jounin as Naruto's body twisted and stretched into a new and much taller form; he had no illusions about his ability to offer more than token resistance against his student's tenant should Yoko become violent, but the bijuu did at least grudgingly tolerate his continued existence for his wife's sake. Though the distinctly humanoid form rapidly taking shape in front of him was nothing like Kakashi's memories of That Night, or even the more recent Wave mission, the sheer _presence_ of the demon was such that even without the sheer malevolence of its usual aura its chakra still carried incredible weight, making it hard to breathe freely. Well, its youki. Whatever.

"**Hatake."** The jounin stiffened at the deep, inhuman rumble that emerged from his transformed student's lips. **"Introduce your fellow insects."** It was unmistakeably an order and not a remotely polite one. Then again, the Kyuubi was not an entity that needed courtly manners to get people to do as it told them to despite its rather old-fashioned attitude.

"Kyuubi-dono, may I humbly present my fellow jounin of Konohagakure Sarutobi Asuma and Yuuhi Kurenai, the jounin formerly of Iwagakure Deidara and…" Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the other Akasuki member, uncertain of his identity.

"Akasuna no Sasori."

"… and the jounin formerly of Sunagakure, Sasori of the Red Sands," Kakashi finished smoothly. "Gentlemen and lady, may I present to you Kyuubi-dono." Because this was most definitely _not_ Naruto playing an elaborate prank. Naruto was not four inches past six feet tall, nor did he have that fine, elegant leanness that comes from generations of careful breeding. Naruto did not have waist-length, blood-red hair in a high ponytail, exotically slanted maroon-rimmed eyes with vermillion irises and slit pupils, or delicately pointed ears set slightly higher on the sides of his head than was strictly normal. Nor did Naruto have such sharp cheekbones, such fair skin, such broad shoulders or such long-fingered hands. His student didn't wear perfectly fitted, lacquered and polished black samurai armour over red silk kimono and hakana either and he _definitely_ didn't have a black-tipped tail as long as he was tall curled casually over one shoulder like an expensive scarf.

No, this was not just Kakashi's most unpredictable student dressing to impress: this was a demon wearing said student's skin.

"_**This**_** is what has been dispatched to hunt me and mine? A man who so fears death he has entirely ceased to live and a child so eager for the end he throws away his own life in the pursuit of a formless ideal?"** Yoko demanded icily, tone utterly scornful as a single scarlet eyebrow arched haughtily. **"Pathetic."**

Deidara twitched. "I'm not a child, un!"

The raised eyebrow quirked at an angle that suggested a degree of amused disdain: **"You do not deny how little you value your life."** It was not a question.

The bomber grinned manically. "Life is art and art is a bang, un!"

Yoko snorted. **"Children,"** it muttered in disgust.

"Besides, we were _supposed_ to be looking for the Gobi but Sasori-danna decided that since you were here and it wasn't we could settle, un," Deidara added, stifled amusement flavouring his words.

Yoko clicked his tongue dismissively. **"Humans. The only things as pathetic as your ridiculous frailty are your delusions of competence."**

"Hey, un!"

"Quiet, Deidara," Sasori said repressively, not having moved at all since telling Kakashi his name. "We are here to capture the nine-tails, not banter with it."

"**Such hubris,"** the Kyuubi bit out, looking down its nose at the S-class nukenin infamous for his puppetry skills and proficiency with poisons. **"I will never be defeated by one such as **_**you**_**."** With that the demon in human form abruptly and rudely turned its back on the two ninja in cloud-patterned coats and stalked past Kakashi back towards the village with all the unconscious grace and poise of an apex predator.

Sasori shifted slightly, then twitched as Yoko didn't even falter. Kakashi lifted his hitai-ite just enough to catch sight of the chakra strings recoiling from his student's possessed form like water bouncing off a hot pan.

"Are you going to follow him?" Kakashi asked Deidara in a studiously idle tone of voice as he let his forehead protector slide back down over his sharingan.

"Nah: he's not our problem. Sasori-danna's just being impatient, un," the bomber replied airily. "Shall we leave, danna?"

"Hmph."

"My wife won't be too happy if you manage to kill her friend, you know," the Copy-nin mused.

The teenage bomber waved a hand dismissively, revealing the mouth in his palm with its protruding tongue. "She won't mind _that_ much really, un. She knows that ninja do as they're ordered to so issues should get taken up with the person who sponsored the mission, un." The slightly effeminate blond grinned. "She's a blast like that, un!"

"We're leaving, Deidara," Sasori said abruptly, turning away. "Come."

"Coming danna, un!" Both nukenin blurred away, leaving only the very faintest of chakra trails. Kakashi left pursuit up to the ANBU who had been observing the confrontation from cover.

"Well," Kurenai said shakily, "that was… civil."

"It was, wasn't it?" Kakashi agreed absently. "I'd better go catch up with my student." He shunshined off, leaving his colleagues to their confusion.

* * *

Naruto was not hard to find: he was two training grounds over in the direction Yoko had stalked off in, back to his normal self other than a few faint wisps of orange floating around him.

"I thought you said the seal was _secure_," the jounin commented after a short silence.

"It _is_, Kakashi-sensei: I could have reassumed control any time I wanted," Naruto assured him earnestly, turning to look his teaching in the face with wide, serious eyes. "It was too good a bluff to miss though: they'll be warier of me if they think Yoko can step to the forefront like that on a whim and recognise that it is cunning in its own right rather than just a mindless mass of youki and brute force."

Which was all true: the demon fox has presented itself to those hunting it as a powerful, perceptive and sophisticated opponent that the Akatsuki would now have to take much more seriously. Which was both good and bad, as Naruto and his tenant would be forced to live up to those expectations or else die trying.

"It was an awesome prank, too," Naruto added as an afterthought.

"Prank?"

The blond grinned. "Kitsune are tricksters, sensei, especially when people get too full of themselves."

Kakashi blinked, assimilating the bewildering concept of a prankster bijuu. "Maa, I'll take your word for it. Why did your tenant say Akasuna no Sasori had ceased to live?"

The young chūnin blinked. "You didn't notice, sensei? He wasn't really alive: just a puppet with a living chakra core. Not very many emotions either and all of them bitter or hateful." The jinchuuriki shivered. "Deidara's a repressed and insecure mess but he's _way_ more emotionally healthy than Sasori."

"You certainly grew up interesting in that okiya, didn't you?" Kakashi teased, ruffling his student's shoulder-length hair playfully.

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A/N: The Kyuubi gets his turn to shine, which he does very well. I see him as being a lot like Sesshoumaru, but older and sufficiently secure in himself to really let loose with his sense of humour.


End file.
